Loud House Tales
by Gold Cartoonist
Summary: A compilation of stories featuring the Loud House characters.
1. Battle of Royal Woods

**Author's Note:**

 **First of all I would like to say that I am a big fan of these fanfictions. Especially ones involving _The Loud House_. So this is my first time writing one of these, so I thought I'd do something based on 2 of my favorite Nickelodeon shows. But first, I would like to thank Mr. Animator's 'The Sponge House' and DarthFlores' 'Lincoln Orangeshirt' for the inspiration. I thought it would be fun to have a story based on the _SpongeBob_ episode 'Battle of Bikini Bottom' but featuring Lola and Lana Loud. I would've been more than happy to wait for them to do their version of the story, but I thought the idea was way to good to lose so I decided to go for it myself. But if DarthFlores and Mr. Animator decide to do their own versions, I'll look forward to seeing them.**

 **Also _The Loud House_ characters and the _SpongeBob_ stories belong to Nickelodeon**

 **I own nothing.**

 **Thank you and enjoy.**

* * *

The story starts at the mall, where Lola and Lana are trying on shirts

"Where's your twin, Lola?" Lana asks

"Well, according to this T shirt, it says my twin is right here," Lola teases.

Lana jumps to the other side of Lola and asks "How about now?"

Lola flips upside down with the arrow pointing to Lana "Right by my side," she laughs "Wow, clothing that announces our feelings for each other. Let's get them, Lana."

Carol Pingrey comes by and asks "Can I help you girls?"

Lola claims "I believe you can. My twin and I would like to purchase..."

Lana starts crying

"Lana, why are you crying?" Lola asks.

Lana cries "You...found a new twin."

"Oh, what are you..." Lola questions as she sees his shirt point to Carol next to him and screams "Wait, no, this isn't what it looks like!" Lola then sees Dana come up behind Lana. "Lana, look out, behind you!"

Dana asks "Excuse me, but does this come in..."

"Noooo! You're not my twin!" Lana screams.

Lola claims "We've gotta ditch these outfits! They're sending out the wrong signals!"

The twins tear off their shirts (while still wearing their outfits underneath) and stomp on them; they soon get kicked out of the mall

"We need new outfits to show our best twinliness, Lans," Lola claims.

"You mean like those guys?" Lana asks as she points to people dressed up in red and blue uniforms.

"Yeah, just like those guys," Lola confirms "Outfits like these really make a statement."

"Look at these guys!" Lana says as they spot their father dressed in a red uniform.

"Wow! I like that one. Hey, Dad, where did you and your friends get your matching outfits?" Lola asks.

Lynn Sr. confirms "Oh, no, these aren't my friends. In fact, I hate almost everyone here, but my love for historical battles is so great, I join these losers every year to re-enact the battle of Royal Woods."

"There was a battle of Royal Woods?" Lola questions, which makes Lana and Lynn Sr. gasp in shock

"Well, duh, Lola. It's only the most significant event in Royal Woods history! A long time ago, the town was divided into 2 groups," as Lana is telling the story, a flashback shows a young woman washing her hands "Those who spent all their time washing their hands like softies…"

Colonial Lori looks at her hands an claims "Clean as a whistle!"

"…And those who had more important things to do with their time."

A Colonial version of Lana comes out of a bathroom with filthy handsThat looks good to me," she says.

"That is literally disgusting!" Colonial Lori complains.

"Oh, yeah?" Colonial Lana asks sternly.

Colonial Lori argues "You can't go around our town touching things with those filthy mitts!"

"Oh, yeah?!"

"Yes!"

Lana slaps her with a glove and they begin fighting; a battleground is shown, with one cannon being filled with filth, and the other with soap bars

Red Group claims "Wash your hands!"

Blue Group argues "Never!"

 _The battle begins with the groups firing at each other. Flashback ends_

* * *

"And that's how we won our right to wash as we please." Lana says as she shows her filthy hands"

"Oh, that's not what happened" Lynn Sr. says disgusted and walks away

Lola asks "You don't wash your hands, Lana?!"

Lana answers "Never have, never will."

"Echhh!"

"Does that bother you, huh, Lola?"

 _There was a flashback that shows the twins at an ice cream parlor._

" _They only had one ice cream cone." Lana says as she holds a scoop of ice cream in her bare hand._

 _"That's ok. Thank you, sis," Lola says as she licks it off Lana's hand._

 _Another flashback shows them eating at a restaurant. "So, anyway, I said..."_

" _Oh, wait. You've got something on your tongue," Lana observes._

 _"Really?"_

 _"Here, I'll get it."_

 _Lana grabs Lola's tongue and takes a piece of meat off it_

 _"Thank you."_

 _The flashback ends with Lola looking unamused._

"Frankly, yes, Lana, that _does_ bother me," Lola says disgusted.

"Well, then I guess we can't be twins anymore."

"What are you saying?"

"Ugh, do I have to spell it out for you?" Lana licks her hand and writes on a brick wall "U... R... huh... How do you spell "not my sister"?"

"Oh, come on, we can work this out. We'll start a new life, just you, me, and this can of disinfectant spray," Lola sprays all around her, making a spray house. "Come on in, Lana. Here, let me take your overalls for you," She takes off Lana's overalls, which reveals filth on her shirt

"No, thank you," Lana pulls Lola back toward her by the hand and takes back her overalls "I happen to like my various smells and germs."

Lola defends "But being clean is so much better."

"Well, says you. I like dirty."

"Clean!"

"Dirty!"

"Clean!"

Harold asks the twins "Excuse us, but we have a battle to re-enact."

"Fine, if that's how it is, then I am joining the other side!" Lola takes off Howard's red outfit and puts it on.

Lana tears off Harold's blue outfit "Fine, me too!"

Harold and the other adults walk away "Ah, come on! Let's go play somewhere else."

* * *

Then the twins began their own little battle. Lana was looking through binoculars, but Lola sneaks up on her and gets her cap.

"Ha! Got your hat!"

"Hey, give it back!"

"Not until you wash your hands!"

"Oh, yeah? Well I got your tiara!" Lana takes Lola's tiara and runs with it, but she soon sees that it is a bomb, which squirt water out. Lola puts on her spare tiara and laughs.

Later, Lana has a cannon and he blasts her pet snails at Lola like a cannonball.

"Eww, snail slime!" Lola screams.

"Thanks for the help Terrence." Lana's snails then slither away, "Do you give up yet?"

Lola wiped herself clean. "Sorry, Lana, but a filthy slob like you is no match for a clean-cut fellow like me."

"Your sash are falling down."

"Really?"

"I'll fix it." Lana stretches Lola's sash, filling it up with dirt, then yanks her sash over her head.

"Satisfied?" Lola asks sarcastically.

"There, you look good now."

" _You_ could use a makeover, though. Ugh, look at those feet."

"Why, what's wrong with them?" Lana shows her feet and her shoes are filthy.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it." Lola attacks Lana and starts doing a pedicure on her feet.

"No! Not a pedicure!" Lana screams "No, no, not that, anything but tha- Nail Polish?!" Lana's toenails and her sneakers are now clean and polished "You sick little monster, face my morning breath!"

Lana inhales deeply and then exhales foul breath, making Lola gag.

"You, miss, could use some dental hygiene!" Lola pulls out a toothbrush and toothpaste.

"Who, me? My teeth are fine, see?" Lana's teeth are shown to be nasty and decaying.

"A little toothpaste, and you'll have teeth like mine." Lola's pearly white teeth are all white and shiny. Lana screams and runs away, with Lola jumping on her and brushes her teeth "You gotta brush in little circles!"

Lana threw her sister off her back. And now her teeth were all clean. "Minty fresh! Taste pit, evildoer!" Lana's armpit hairs fly out to grab Lola and rub her on Lana's armpit, getting Lola's face very filthy.

"You're a stinky, stinky tomboy. I think you could use a shot of...this!" Lola takes out deodorant spray.

"No! No, not...not deodorant!"

Lola sprays the can. Lana screams and runs away, but the spray kills her hairs and the smell.

Lana laments "My beautiful pit stink, it's gone! The gloves are off now. It's booger time!"

"Oh, please! You wouldn't dare," Lola scoffs.

"Oh, yeah?"

Lana picks her nose, Lola screams and runs to Flip's Food n' Fuel, with Lana behind her and runs past Flip, Clyde and Lincoln "Run, everyone! Lana is digging for gold!" They run into the back room.

"Gold? Heehee!" Flip runs into the back room to find the gold, but comes out with nothing.

"Did you get any of Lana's "gold"?" Lincoln asks sarcastically.

Flip answers "She's not digging for any gold _I'm_ looking for."

In the back room, the twins are standing face to face.

Lana confronts Lola "Ha! I got you now!"

"Careful, Lana, I got a weapon!" Lola grabs and throws the 2 onions at Lana's eyes

"Raw onions?!" Lana cries. Then she found something else to beat Lola at her own game. "That does it! See this?"

"A Princess Pie? What are you gonna do, eat it?"

"Oh, I'm not going to eat it." Lana takes off her shoes, pulls the pies apart and put them on her feet. Lola is horrified at the sight of this. "No, not pie socks!"

"That's right, your precious pies on my stinky feet!" Lana laughs as she starts stomping around.

"You better stop that!"

"Stinky, little feet!"

"You stop that right now!" Lola gets so mad that her face turns red and inflates angrily.

"Holy..." Lola blows up and sends Lana flying "...Moley!" Lana lands in a dumpster and gets out all dirty. "Hey, I got my filth back!"

"Not for long, Little Miss Sticky-Pants! You won't have your filth once I use this on you!" Lola comes out with a soap bar and puts it in a water blaster.

"No, not soap! You wouldn't dare!"

"Try me!"

Lana lifts up the trash can. "Stay back, I'll do it!"

"It's too late for that!" Lola fires the blaster and starts shooting soap bubbles out of it at Lana, while Lana throws the trashcan at Lola. The bubbles hit Lana, and Lola laughs in victory, only to have the trashcan fall on her.

Lana ends up entirely shiny and clean. "My beautiful filth! It's gone! I'm squeaky clean!"

Lola climbs out of the trash all filthy. "I'm covered in muck and scum!"

"Man, to get my filth back, I'll have to wallow in mud forever!"

"It'll take weeks for me to get clean. I'll need twenty baths a day!"

"Slather toe jam on my armpits?"

"I'll have to disinfect my tiara!"

"Smear slime on my teeth?"

"And dry-clean my princess gown!"

The twins think for a minute and then they giggle happily. "All right!" they say excitedly.

"Now that I'm filthy, I can spend all day getting clean."

"And since I'm clean, I can get even filthier! Thanks, Lola!"

"No, Lana, thank you."

They both shake hands and then hug. "You're the greatest sister I ever had!"

The kids turn around to see that Lynn Sr. is standing right behind them. "Hey, what's going on here? This battle isn't over until we have a winner."

Lola explains philosophically "Fret not, my friend, for I have learned the truth. It matters not whether one is dirty or clean, for can cleanliness exist without filthiness, and would we know filthiness without cleanliness? We must not re-enact the history that divides us, rather we must embrace that which draws us together. All must be free to choose their own path. Right, dear sister?"

"Squeaky clean, squeaky, it's squeaky." Lana rubs herself everywhere, making a squeaky sound.

"Mm-hmm, she has embraced the truth."

Lynn Sr. is surprised to hear this. "Wow! I think my little girl has taught us a valuable lesson."

Lola asks "And what is that, my father?"

"That re-enacting battles is really lame!" Lynn Sr. answers, "C'mon, guys, let's play something more manly, like football!"

"Or hockey!" Harold suggests.

Howard suggests "Or knitting fluffy sweaters!"

The three grownups run off as the twins walk into the sunset.

"Come, Lana, my work here is done."

"Right behind you Lols."

* * *

 **So as you can see, this is my first fanfiction/parody story. Feel free to review (but NO RUDE COMMENTS). I look forward to doing more of these, and they will be more than just SpongeBob re-enactments. Hope you all enjoyed, and until next time, so long everybody.**


	2. Lana's Body

**Author's note: Hey guys! I'm back yet again; first of all i'd like to say thanks for reviewing the first chapter. I know it's not exactly as much as I would've hoped for, but then again it's only been one day, and it's better to have at least one review than nothing at all so I'm thankful for that. Anyways, for this chapter, I decided to base it on the _Regular Show_ episode 'Rigby's Body'. Now I actually thought if it could be possible to do parodies of other TV shows than just one and I thought there could be some _Regular_ _Show_ episodes that the _Loud House_ characters can reinterpret.**

 **As stated before, _The Loud House_ belongs to Nickelodeon and _Regular Show_ belongs to Cartoon Network.**

 **Thank you and enjoy.**

* * *

Lincoln and Lana arrive home from school with boxes of chocolate bars in their hands, but Lincoln is not too happy about it.

"This stinks." he complains.

Lana asks "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that the next time we get to choose what to do for school fundraising, I get to choose," Lincoln confirms "Why did you choose the candy sales drive? This is like the worst opportunity, sis!"

"I think it's the _funnest_ opportunity," Lana defends.

"You don't really think that. You just don't want to admit that you're wrong."

"Why would I admit something that I'm not?"

"Seriously, this is more boring than watching you trying to read an encyclopedia."

"Is it more boring than your face

"I don't know, is it more boring than my fist in your face?"

"Is it more boring than my fist in your face, you twit!"

"You're a twit!"

"No, you're a twit!"

"You're the twit!"

The two begin fighting until Leni arrives. "Lincoln, Lana, stop," she pleads "We can _all_ be twits!"

Lincoln Lana stop fighting and start dusting themselves off "Oh, hey Leni."

"So, how do you like being the guardians of the candy bars?" Leni asks curiously.

Lana claims "It's awesome."

Lincoln complains "This task is lame."

Lincoln and Lana start fighting again until Leni breaks it up "But Linky, don't you like eating candy for free?"

"What?" Lincoln asks confused

When I do it, all the candy is free! See ya!" Leni walks away leaving the two alone. Lincoln and Lana look at each other for a moment, then take the boxes to the dining room, open them, and start shoveling candy bars into their mouths.

"I guess this means I was right about the sales drive," Lana declares. A montage begins of Lincoln and Lana eating the candy bars nonstop. At the end, the living room is a mess, and Lincoln and Lana are sick from overeating.

"I need to eat something healthy, like a salad or something," Lincoln groans.

"What?! Are you kidding? Bro, all these snacks are free," Lana defends, "Trust me. If we keep eating, we'll feel better in no time."

"Oh, if we eat more, we'll feel better? Sis, think about this for a minute."

"Think?! I don't know that I want to listen to the guy who was wrong about the sales drive being cool. No, I think I'd rather listen to the girl who's right all the time. _Me._ " Lana holds up a candy bar with whipped cream, chocolate sauce and mustard and takes a bite out of it.

* * *

It is now nighttime. Everyone is getting ready for bed while Lincoln is in the dining room eating a salad eating a salad. "Ahh. I feel so much better."

"So do I." Lana is next to a blender with candy, and other junk food inside. She starts the blender, grinding all the junk food into goop. She then proceeds to drink it, grimacing in pain again as her stomach rumbles.

"Sis, I'm telling you. If you keep eating like that, your body's going to abandon you."

"Shut up!"

"Whatever. I'm just trying to help. Don't say I didn't warn you." Lincoln walks out of the kitchen and goes upstairs to bed.

"I showed him." Lana puts another candy bar in her mouth.

A split second later, Lana is rolling on the floor, groaning in pain. "Why isn't more food working?!" She screams in pain, then picks up the candy bar next to her. "One more should do it..."

She suddenly drops the doughnut as she loses control of her hands. Lana's hands grab her face, pull her to her feet, and drag her around the room. She smashes into a wall, then falls over the fallen chair. Her hands then pull really hard, causing her pupils to disappear. "What are you doing?!" Her hands keep pulling, eventually ejecting Lana as a dark blue glob of consciousness.

"Aww, let me back in!"

But her body pushes her away and runs off.

"Wait! Come back!"

Lana tried to follow her body, but ends up inside a bucket on the floor "Ohhh... whatever! I'm just going to chill in this bucket!"

* * *

The next day. Lincoln enters the kitchen. Lana is calling from the bucket. "Lincoln! Lincoln!"

Lincoln sees Lana as the blue glob. "Aww, gross! What the hey is that?!"

"Ha ha! Who's the loser now, Lincoln?"

Lincoln then recognized that gruff tomboyish voice. "Wait... Lana?! Is that you?"

"Bro, in your face! I was right! My stomach doesn't even hurt anymore."

"That's because you don't even have a _body_ anymore! Your stomach can't hurt if you don't _have_ one. Sis, this is bad!"

"Yeah, if by bad you mean awesome! Now dump some cheese puffs into the trash can! I'm starving!

"We got to get Lucy. She'll know how to fix this."

* * *

In Lucy and Lynn's bedroom, Lucy examines Lana. "What happened to her body?" she asks.

"I don't know," Lincoln answers. "It must have ran away from her or something. from eating too much junk food. I told her it was too much, but she wouldn't listen."

"Hey! You had as much as I did!" Lana argues.

"Yeah, but we _both_ have limits. It's just that you refuse to listen to them, and now look what you did to yourself!"

"Well, it looks like it's not that big of a deal," Lucy states "if she doesn't mind being a bodiless consciousness for the rest of her life."

"It's cool, I don't mind," Lana claims.

"What?! No!" Lincoln shouts. "Quit being a loser."

"Since when does being right make you a-"

Lincoln puts a lid on the bucket "Lucy, what do we do? We can't let her stay like this. I can't have a blob for a sister. If mom and dad find out about this, they'll blow their tops!"

"I've seen this happen before," Lucy claims. "Once the body leaves, you only have till sunset to get it back, otherwise, it'll disappear forever. We have to go find it."

Lincoln walks out the door with Lucy. "We'll be right back, Lana. Just stay here."

"What? Where you going? At least give me some breakfast. Guys? Guys?" Lana is Moving the bucket with all her might. "Phew! I guess it kind of harder to move around without my body." Lana then sees the hockey stick and roller skates, then comes up with an idea to move around easier.

Meanwhile, Lincoln and Lucy sneak behind a bush as they hear Lana's body eating salad.

"What's it doing?" Lincoln questions.

"Eating a salad. This is our chance. Catch her on the count of three."

"Okay."

"One...two..."

Lana wheels in with the tape from the hockey stick strapped to the roller skates and her bucket. "Hey, guys! What's up?" Lana's body stops eating the salad and runs away.

"No!" Lincoln and Lucy shout.

"We told you to stay put!" Lucy scolds.

"Lana, you scared it away!" Lincoln shouts.

"Oh, don't worry about that! Remember how I said I don't need it? Well, I was right again!" Lana claims. "Check it out! It's a trash can and a roller blade."

"I can't believe you! Why is it so hard for you to listen? No more shenanigans! Please, just stay put!" Lincoln storms away.

"All this being right is making me hungry."

* * *

At the Loud house, Lynn and Lola are in the kitchen. "Nothing like a nice refreshing snack after a hard day's workout." Lynn then hear something and look out the window. "What is that?" the two girls see Lana in the bucket, skating to the kitchen. She slams the door open.

"Gimme some snacks!" Lana shouts

Lola is terrified. "What are you?!"

"Looks like a bucket of slime," Lynn observes. "And is that my roller skate?"

"It's me, Lana!"

"Oh, man! That boot with wheels stole Lana's voice!"

"No, I didn't steal anything."

"You're not stealing these voices. C'mon Lola, let's bail!"

They both run out the door leaving Lana behind.

"Come back!"

"No way, bro!"

"It's me, Lana! Aw, man."

* * *

Cut back to the park. Lucy picks up the eaten salad. She's close. I'll take care of the body. You go find Lana. We're running out of time." The sun is shown over the building as Lincoln is looking for Lana at the house.

"Lana! Lana! Where is she? This is just great! why is it so difficult for that girl to listen?" Lynn and Lola walk up to him, armed with weapons; Lynn is carrying a bat and Lola is wearing a helmet. "Hey, have you guys seen Lana?"

"No," Lynn answers. "Have you seen a magic garbage can? We need to beat the-

"Magic garbage can?" Lincoln realizes "That was Lana!"

"Oh, I knew that," Lola lies.

"Sure you did," Lynn said sarcastically. "Wait! that little blue blob was Lana? What is going on?"

"It's a long story Lynn," Lincoln assures. "I'll explain later."

"What are we going to do Linky?" Lola asks. "I can't have a blob as a twin! How will she be able to fix my car?"

"Look Lola, there'll be plenty of time for worrying later, but right now, we got to find Lana and bring her back to her old body. Which way did she go?"

Lana is heard screaming a few feet away as a trash collector is dumping Lana into a garbage truck. He throws the skate-can back onto the ground. "Lana!"

The truck pulls away with Lana still inside. We see Lana in the filthy, roach-infested truck, recoiling and squealing in horror.

"Usually, I like filthy things, but this is not how I want to spend the rest of my life without my body," Lana says "Help!"

 _"No-one can hear you."_

Lana hears a mysterious voice "Who's there?"

A talking basketball comes out of the darkness "Don't worry: just another bodiless consciousness. Whoa! Hey, did you work out way too hard, too?"

"N-no. I ate too much junk food."

"Yep, that'll do it. Me? I was a female bodybuilder. I could have gone pro. My friend kept telling me, "If you keep pumping iron like that, your body's going abandon you!" I told her she was pulling my leg! But I didn't get my body back in time and now look at me: stuck with a basketball for a body."

"Yeah, well, _my_ body's still good."

"Wait, your body's still good? Well, whatcha doing' in here, dummy?"

"I..."

"You must not want it. Mind if I take it?"

"No!"

"The basketball bounces away. "Don't worry, I'll find it. So long, loser!"

"No!" Lana is now upset, but looks over to see the trash door open and it appears to be Lincoln.

"Lincoln! You were right and I was wrong! I should've listened to you, and now because of me, my body's going to be gone forever. I'm sorry for being such a loser. Please help me get my body back!"

"Don't worry, sis. I think we can get it back in time. And even if we mess up, you've always got this!" Lincoln holds up the skate-can.

"All right! But seriously, bro, I want my old body back."

Lincoln talks into a two-way radio. "Lucy, I found Lana."

 _"I found the body, but you'd better hurry. We got a problem."_

* * *

The scene cuts to the park, where Lana's body, in a bodybuilding outfit, is limbering up in preparation to lift a dumbbell. He tries to lift, but immediately drops the weight. The bodybuilder's essence morphs out of Lana's body and addresses her angrily. "Body, you're worthless! I can't believe you can't even lift a single barbell!"

Lincoln, Lynn, Lola and Lucy are shown behind Lana's body. Lincoln is holding up the trash can with Lana in it. "Hey! What are you doing with my body?!"

"Oh, it's you!" Morphs back into Lana's body. "What do you think? Pretty cool, huh?"

"No, _not_ pretty cool. You dress me like an idiot!"

"Aw, you don't like spandex? No wonder your body left you. Look, I've been tired of using that basketball for the rest of my life. I mean there's barely any purpose to it, but come on, don't _I_ at least deserve a body?"

"Not if it's _my_ body! Now give it back!"

"Finders keepers."

"Lynn!" Lincoln shouts.

"We tried it the nice way," Lynn intervenes "Now we do it the _Loud_ way."

The bodybuilder looks nervous for a second, then runs off. "So long, suckers!" Lincoln, Lynn, Lola, Lana, and Lucy chase the bodybuilder through the town. The bodybuilder sprints ahead.

"She's too fast," Lynn says.

Lori and Leni pull alongside in Vanzilla. "Are you having a game of tag, twits?" Leni asks.

"I really wish you wouldn't teach her those words," Lucy says as the kids jump into the car, with Lana in hand. The chase continues up and down the hill.

"I'll take it from here!" Lana prepares to dive out of the car window but Lincoln stops her.

"Lana! No! It's too dangerous!"

"I've got no choice Lincoln. It's now or never!"

Lana jumps out the window and tackles her body, tumbling down the side of the road as the car continues on the pavement. "It's too steep," Lynn says "We'll have to go around."

Further down the road, Lana and her body emerge from the bushes, still fighting.

"Give me my body back!" Lana shouts.

"No! Get off me!"

Lana manages to crawl back into her body. "Get out of my body!"

The two essences pop out of Lana's chest and continue to wrestle. "No! _You_ get out of the body, you twerp!" The bodybuilder's essence throws Lana's essence at the car, hitting the windshield. Lori swerves the car and blindly runs into Lana's body, sending the bodybuilder's essence flying to a nearby playground, where he lands on a fire hydrant and becomes one with it. A big dog walks up to it and prepares to do his business. "Aw, dang it!"

Back at the car, the Loud kids look at Lana's body on the sidewalk, lying on its side with a broken leg.

"Guys, we did it!" Lana cheers. "I got my body back!"

"Are you sure you still _want_ it?" Lola asks.

"Yeah, it looks pretty beaten up," Lynn says.

"I don't care. I got it back and that's all that matters," Lana says. "I'm sorry, old friend. I promise, I'll never treat you like that again."

"I'm proud of you Lana."

"Thanks Lincoln."

"Quick!" Lucy warns. "Before the sun sets!"

As Lana watches the sun set, she dives into her body.

"Sis," Lincoln asks "How do you feel?"

Lana screams in pain.

* * *

Back at the Loud house in the living room, Lana has crutches and a cast on her right leg. "Well Lincoln, I guess you were right about the school sale drive being lame. Especially now that we're not into eating all the free candy."

"Oh, about that. That candy wasn't free," Lincoln informs.

"What?"

"Turns out only Leni's school gives them away for free."

"Leni?"

"Yeah. And I guess we're supposed to do the sales drive for the next six weeks just to pay for it all."

"Aww, twits!"

* * *

 **So as you can see, this is my second story. Now I do plan to continue this with more interpretations, and there's a chance I plan to make other fan fictions featuring other cartoon characters in crossovers. And if you would like to suggest other cartoon episodes for future chapters, please feel free to.**

 **Thanks for reading and until next time, So long everybody!**


	3. A Liar's Tail

**Hey everyone! Now for this story, I'm going to try something a little different. Unlike the previous ones, this one will have a little more originality, but that doesn't mean it won't have any references in it. So anyway, for this chapter, I took inspirations from many cartoon episodes such as** ** _Lying around the House_** **(The PowerPuff Girls),** ** _The Dice Cycle_** **(Chowder) and** ** _Larry-Boy and the Fib from Outer Space_** **(VeggieTales) since they all have similar plots about how lies can get people into trouble. Now just to clarify, this story won't include a giant rampaging monster like 2 of the episodes I just mentioned but it will have something just as similar and you'll have to read this story to find out. Anyway here's A Liar's Tail. Enjoy!**

 **And as always, I own nothing. All rights go to their respective owners (including the ones referenced above). The Loud House (Chris Savino/Nickelodeon), The PowerPuff Girls (Craig McCracken/Cartoon Network), Chowder (CH Greenblatt/Cartoon Network), VeggieTales (Phil Vischer, Mike Nawrocki/Big Idea Productions)**

* * *

Lisa is seen in her room working on her experiment. "At long last. My experimental lie-detecting serum is completed. Now all I need is a beta-tester. And I think I know just the guinea pig," she said with a sly smile.

Lisa then sneaks into the kitchen, and pours the serum into a drinking glass and then runs off.

Later, Lincoln arrives in the kitchen, and grabs the glass with the serum in it (without noticing), fills it with milk and then drinks it.

Lynn is then heard outside calling for her brother. "Lincoln! Hurry up! I've been waiting forever!"

"I'm coming Lynn! Hold your horses!" Lincoln finishes his drink and then runs outside.

* * *

The two kids are seen jogging around the neighborhood. Lynn is going fast but Lincoln is lagging behind before he collapses from exhaustion.

Lynn goes back to check on her brother. "Lincoln, you do realize you only moved 30 feet from the house."

"I can't help it Lynn," Lincoln complains. I'm not used to running so much."

"Well maybe you'd be more used to it if you didn't spend all your time playing mindless video games."

"Hey! I can't vouch for whatever interests' people are into. Besides sports aren't my thing, they're yours."

"That doesn't matter. You need to get a little exercise at least once in a while."

"Well I can get exercised in other ways than just running. In fact it just so happens that there's something I can ride on that could give me the exercise I need. Something that's red, shiny and metallic, with handle bars and wheels and in the garage. Your mountain bike, I wanna ride your mountain bike."

"Yes I know what you're talking about and the answer is no. it's brand new and you can't borrow it."

"Why not? You guys know I'm the most trustworthy."

"Yeah well, remember what happened the last time you borrowed my bike?"

"That was a long time ago."

"It was only 3 months ago."

"What's your point?"

"Forget it, Lincoln. You can't borrow my bike."

"Come on, Lynn! I'll be careful with it. You said I needed some exercise in my life. Well riding a bike is a form of exercise. So if I do that I'll get all the exercise I need for today. Just let me ride it for a bit. Please!"

"Fine. If it'll get you to exercise, you can borrow it. But just for a little while."

"Really?"

"Yep. I gotta meet my friends at the batting cages anyway. Just make sure it's in the garage by the time I get back."

"No problem."

As Lynn leaves, Lincoln takes her bike out for a joy ride.

* * *

After a while, he takes a stop at Gus' Games and Grub. "I've only got a half hour till Lynn gets back. I guess I could use a break."

He puts the bike against the wall and goes in. but unbeknownst to him, the bike rolls out into the street and gets run over by a truck. Lincoln here's the sound of something being crushed and runs outside and is immediately becomes nervous.

"OH NO! OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! LYNN'S BIKE IS WRECKED! Okay, don't panic Lincoln. It can probably be fixed. Yeah, it doesn't look that bad."

As soon Lincoln says that, several trucks run over the bike, leaving it wrecked even more. "Okay, now it looks bad. I need help!"

* * *

Back inside the arcade, Clyde is at the food stand when Lincoln runs up and startles him.

"CLYDE! You got to help me!"

"Lincoln! Do not startle me like that. Dr Lopez says that I'm only allowed a maximum of one surprise per day, and someone already jumped out of a box this morning. So what's the problem?"

Lincoln whispers into Clyde's ear and he looks surprised.

"You destroyed Lynn's new mountain bike!?"

Lincoln nods.

"Wow, that's gotta be rough. What did Lynn say?"

"She doesn't know."

"What? You mean you didn't tell her?"

"I can't tell her Clyde! It's brand new, and now I wrecked it. You know how much she loves sports. If she finds out I wrecked it, she'll disown me."

"Lincoln, you're overthinking this. You got to tell her something."

"I know! Look I know my plans aren't always perfect. I'll figure something out."

* * *

Lincoln arrives home with the pieces of the bike and hides them in the garage. He then goes inside the house and soon Lynn comes in and slams the door open looking really furious. "Hey Lynn, what's up?"

"You know very well what's up!" Lynn shouted.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Then why is my bike broken into smithereens?"

"Lynn, I can explain."

"You've got 2 minutes."

"Lana did it!"

"Lana?"

"Uhh…yeah. After I got back she came into the garage and started tampering with it. She said she needed a piece of scrap metal for welding. I tried to stop her, but it was too late."

Lynn feels a little skeptical at first. "Well that was quite a story, but if that's what you say happened, I guess I trust you little bro. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to have a word with a certain handyman." Lynn goes upstairs to talk to Lana.

Lincoln talks to the audience. "Why are you looking at me like that? I know lying isn't a good thing to do, but trust me, when you have a sister like Lynn; the last thing you'd want is to get pulverized. Besides, I'm sure Lana will be okay."

* * *

That night, Lincoln is seen sleeping in his room, but while he's sleeping, a long curvy tail starts growing out of his rear end.

When the morning comes, Lincoln goes into the bathroom, but he soon finds out that he now has a long tail. He then screams so loud it can be heard from outside the house.

"I've got a tail! How did this happen?" Lincoln then hears a knock at the door.

"Lincoln! What's going on in there?"

"Nothing." Little does Lincoln know is that his little fib is making the tail grow longer. "I can't let them see this," he whispers to himself. Lincoln hides the tail in the back of his shirt and walks out of the bathroom.

"Lincoln, what's going on in there?" Lori asked. "We heard screaming."

"Oh that? That was nothing. I was just taking a quick shower and I kinda slipped on a bar of soap." Lincoln's tail starts growing more.

"Well anyway, you better get ready for school."

"Right away Lori."

Lincoln goes into his room and decides to hide the tail in his backpack.

* * *

Minutes later, Lori drops off Lincoln, Lucy, Lana, Lola and Lisa at the Royal Woods Elementary School. Lincoln runs into Clyde who is getting stuff out of his locker. "Clyde, I need help!"

"What is it?"

"It's this." Lincoln takes the tail out of his backpack.

"Whoa! You've got a tail?"

"Yeah, I don't know how it happened. This morning I woke up and it was there."

"Okay, calm down dude. We can fix it. Maybe we can—."

"LINCOLN!" Lincoln hears Lana's voice as she comes up to him angrily. In a state of panic, Lincoln hides the tail in his backpack.

"Hey Lana. What's going on?"

"What's going on is that I got in trouble for destroying Lynn's bike. I told her I didn't do it, but she didn't believe me. She said you told her. What's going on?"

"Oh, that. Did I say you broke the bike? Silly me. What I meant to say was Lola."

"Lola? My twin?"

"Yeah, she needed to blow off some steam so she ran it over with her princess car."

"And you expect me to believe that?"

"Maybe."

Lincoln starts getting nervous again and his tail starts to grow longer. Lana is still finding Lincoln's fib a little farfetched, but she finally takes his word for it. "Alright, if you say so. But I'm keeping an eye on you." Lana walks away.

"Okay what are we going to do about this—? OH MY GOSH IT'S EVEN LONGER THAN BEFORE!"

"Lincoln, relax. Maybe we can-." Just then, the school bell rings. "Sorry, we'll have to fix it later, we gotta get to class!

The two boys head off to their classroom. All the rest of that day, Lincoln's younger sisters kept asking him about who really broke Lynn's bike, and with every lie Lincoln told them, his tail grew longer and longer.

* * *

The two boys are now at recess with Lincoln's tail rolled up into a giant ball.

"I don't know what to do Clyde! This tail keeps getting longer."

"Well, I do know one thing, there's no use hiding it anymore. How does it keep growing anyway?"

"I don't know. All I remember is that it appeared this morning after I told Lynn that Lana used her bike as scrap metal, then I told Lana that Lola ran over it with her car, then I told Lola Lucy needed a sacrifice for her rituals and then I told her that Lisa used it for her experiments." As Lincoln is saying this, his tail keeps on growing. Clyde is taking note of this.

"I see. And what did you tell Lisa?"

"I told her that Lily used it as a play toy."

"Lincoln! That's it! It's your lying. Your fibs are making your tail grow."

"They are?"

"Yes! Every time you lie, your tail keeps getting longer. You need to come clean and tell Lynn the truth."

"But I can't! She'll pulverize me!"

"I don't think she'll be the only one."

"THERE HE IS!" Lucy, Lola, Lana and Lisa run over to confront Lincoln and are immediately not happy about it.

"Alright Lincoln!" Lana confronts. "We've had just about enough of your lies! Now tell us! Who broke Lynn's bike?!"

"Alright I'll tell you. There were these giant robots. They came from outer space to take pieces of metal and they just happened to pinpoint our location and the robots went in to the garage and destroyed the bike." The sisters are left flabbergasted at what Lincoln just said.

"You know. That sounds very peculiar considering how one of your siblings happens to have an intergalactic robot location satellite," Lisa says completely outraged.

"Wait! You _have_ one?" Lincoln questions.

"That's another one of your lies!" Lana shouts. "Just another GREAT….BIG….STINKIN'…"

The girls look up and see a giant ball of Lincoln's tail rolling forward. The girls move out of the way, but Lincoln gets dragged along with it and rolls out into the street.

"Okay can someone tell me what the hey is going on?" Lola asks.

"Well you see," Clyde explains, "Lincoln started growing a tail and it keeps getting longer because of his lies."

"I'm almost afraid to ask," Lucy says "but how is Lincoln growing a tail?"

"I suppose that's partially my fault," the 4-year old genius admits.

"What did you do Lis?" Lana questions.

"I may have given him my experimental lie detecting serum for beta-testing. And I can deduce that it was a complete success."

"Lisa I know you're passionate about your scientific curiosity but there's a giant yarn ball going after our brother! We gotta help him!"

The four girls and Clyde are chasing after Lincoln.

* * *

Meanwhile, Lori and the other sisters see what's going on outside. Lori takes Vanzilla and goes to get the other sisters. The giant tail-ball is heading toward the Loud house. Lincoln grabs onto a tree to keep it from dragging him on even further. The rest of his sisters and Clyde finally catch up with him.

"Lincoln, we have something to tell you!" Lana shouts.

"Whatever it is, you better hurry up. I don't think I can hold on to my tail much longer."

"But that's just it! We know why that tail's been growing! Lisa gave you a serum when you had your back turned!"

"SHE WHAT!?"

"Lincoln! You know what you have to do! You got to tell Lynn the truth about her bike!"

Lincoln is still hesitant about it, but he is still struggling to hang on to the tree so he finally gives in. "ALRIGHT! FINE! I'LL TELL HER!"

Just then, the older sisters arrive out of the van.

"LYNN! I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!"

"I'm not in the mood to talk now, bro," Lynn responds. "I'm still a little miffed about my—."

"I DID IT!"

"What?"

"I WAS THE ONE WHO WRECKED YOUR BIKE! IT WASN'T LUCY, LANA, LOLA, LILY OR LISA! IT WAS ME! IT WAS MY FAULT! I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO PULVERIZE ME SO I TOLD SOMEONE ELSE BROKE IT! I'M SORRY!" as Lincoln is telling the truth, his tail shrinks down until it completely disappears. Lincoln lets go of the tree and falls to the ground.

He then goes over to Lynn to talk to her directly. "Lynn, I'm really sorry about your bike. It was an accident and I knew I shouldn't have lied. It's just that you were so happy when you got it, and I thought if I told you the truth, you wouldn't want anything to do with me anymore. It's okay if you hate me forever, because I deserve it." Lincoln sadly walks up to the front to the door, but Lynn stops him.

"Lincoln, it's okay. I don't hate you."

"You don't?"

Lynn just shakes her head.

"But what about your bike?"

"I can always buy another one, but the one thing I can't buy is another brother like you. Sure I care a lot about sports, but the truth is, I care about you even more."

"You do?"

"Of course. You're my little brother and nothing's ever going to change that."

The two then hug each other. "Thanks Lynn."

"And don't worry about paying for it. I can always get Lana to fix it."

"That's right," Lana confirms as she gets out her toolbox. "And not to worry, I'll get right to work."

"So, does this mean you're not mad at me?" Lincoln asks.

"Well, I am a little upset about you lying to me," Lynn answers.

"I know and I'm sorry. I promise I'll never lie again."

"Good to hear, little bro."

Lincoln and Lynn hug once again, until Lincoln realizes something. "And speaking of lying, Lisa, I think we need to have a little talk about these experiments of yours."

* * *

About a week later, Lincoln is in the dining room eating breakfast when Lynn comes in to ask him something. "Lincoln, where's my bike?"

"Oh, a bear wanted to use it to help him gather picnic baskets."

"Lincoln. I thought you said you weren't going to lie anymore."

"I'm not lying. A bear came by and asked if he could borrow it."

"Yeah, I'm not buying it. I want you to tell me the truth about what really happened to my bike."

Just then the doorbell rings. Lynn goes to the door and answers it, only to see a bear with a hat and a tie returning Lynn's bike. "Sorry to bother you but I believe this is yours." The bear then drives away on a scooter carrying a wagon full of picnic baskets. Lynn's bike appears to be a little dented. Lincoln glares at his sister with a smug look on his face.

"Told you I wasn't lying."

* * *

 **Well, that's my story. And as you probably guessed, the bear with the picnic baskets at the end is indeed a reference to the Hanna-Barbera cartoon _Yogi Bear_. Also I would just like to say thank you for the appreciation for this fanfic. Now I do have a few more ideas of my own for future chapters, but I have been getting a few suggestions from others and they do seem pretty fascinating. Now I don't know exactly when/if I'll do some of those ideas, but I will definitely take those into consideration and as soon as I can find out how to make them work, I'll include them as future chapters. With all that said, thank you for reading this** **. Stay tuned and until next time, so long everybody!**


	4. I Could Have Slept All Day

**So for this chapter, I decided to do another combination story. Now I got this inspiration from both the** ** _Chowder_** **episode The Heavy Sleeper and the** ** _Lilo and Stitch_** **episode with experiment 360 (Drowsy). I also decided to add in a little** ** _Regular Show_** **humor for some of the dialog. So much so that it's even referenced in the story (if you can find it). with all that said, please enjoy.**

 **As always,** ** _The Loud House_** **belongs to Chris Savino/Nickelodeon,** ** _Chowder_** **(CH Greenblatt) and** ** _Regular Show_** **(JG Quintel) belong to Cartoon Network and** ** _Lilo and Stitch_** **belong to Disney.**

* * *

It is a typical morning in the Loud house, and everyone is getting ready for their plans, but Lincoln is still in his room sleeping in. he finally comes out but is feeling a little sleepy. "Morning little bro," Luna greets.

"Morning Luan," Lincoln mumbles.

"It's _Luna_ , dude."

"Yeah, sure whatever Lynn." Lincoln's so tired he's forgetting which sister is which. As Lincoln walks downstairs, Lana comes out of the dining room and see's her brother acting strange. "Hey Lola."

"It's Lana."

"Sorry Lisa." Lincoln heads over to the couch to rest. Just then, the doorbell rings. "Could you see who's at the door please?"

"Sure thing, _Lilo_." Lana then opens the door and sees the mail man standing there.

"Hello miss. By any chance, do you know a mister Lincoln Loud?"

"As a matter of fact I do. He's my big brother."

"Fascinating. Well, when you see him, tell him to give this to his parents." The postman gives Lana a golden envelope and then leaves.

"Don't worry I will." Lana closes the door and notices that Lincoln is seen lying slumped on the couch like a sloth. "Lincoln? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine Lana," Lincoln replies rather grouchy.

"Are you sure? I mean I can get you a drink. A glass of water, warm milk, some lemonade?"

"LANA! I SAID I'M FINE! NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!" Lincoln shouts at the top of his lungs, but immediately feels regret as soon as he sees tears forming in Lana's eyes. "sorry I snapped at you sis. I'm just so tired today. I haven't been getting enough sleep lately. Look, why don't you just take the envelope to mom and dad and we'll talk about it later." With that, Lana leaves to give the envelope to the parents and Lincoln decides to take a nap on the living room couch.

"Lincoln!" the Loud brother suddenly wakes up and sees both of his parents standing right in front of him. "We need to talk."

"About what?"

"We just got a note from your teacher saying you keep falling asleep in class." Rita pulls out the note from the envelope. "What's going on?"

"Well you see, I've kinda had a lot on my mind. I was working on a comic book with Clyde that we were going to submit for this art contest, then I had to make a pastry for the elementary school bake sale and I forgot I signed up for the Royal Woods soda drinking competition so I've been preparing for that as well. The only problem is that it's taking up a lot more of my time than I thought it would and I haven't been able to get enough sleep."

"Lincoln," his father replies. "You know we admire you trying to accomplish more, but you really need to start thinking about what you're doing to yourself. It's not healthy. You're not getting enough sleep, you're too lazy to do anything, you're barely paying attention to anything you're doing and on top of that, you're starting to act a little cranky."

"Yeah you're right."

"Plus let's not forget, tomorrow is chore day," Rita adds.

"I know, I know. But I can't just abandon my activities."

"And you'll still be able to do them, but only if you do your chores on time. And if they're not all done or if we catch you sleeping throughout the whole day and not doing what you're supposed to do, you're grounded. Understood?"

"Yes mom and dad."

Lana is nearby listening to the whole conversation and starts to get a little concerned.

* * *

That night, Lana hops out of bed in her nightshirt, but she's also wearing green rubber boots. As she is sneaking out of her room, her boots keep making a squeaking noise. Her twin Lola gets really annoyed by it. "LANA! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO TAKE OFF THOSE STUPID BOOTS!? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY BEAUTY SLEEP WITH ALL THAT INCESSANT SQUEAKING?!"

"HEY! If you don't like it, get yourself some earplugs!"

"Why do you even sleep in those things anyway?"

"Because they're comfortable, and because I'm two minutes older, and I'll do what I want. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm leaving." Lana goes out of the room, but her boots keep squeaking with every step. Lola is still annoyed and covers her head with her pillow.

Outside the room, Lana notices that Lincoln's bedroom light is still on. She then opens the door which startles her brother. "Hey Lincoln."

"Lana! I'm really busy here, and-." Lincoln notices what Lana is wearing on her feet. "Why are you wearing rain boots?"

"I don't know. I guess I just feel comfortable with them on. Anyway, shouldn't you be in bed?"

"I _can't_ sleep Lana. I'm trying to prepare for the contests tomorrow."

"But tomorrow is chore day. You heard what mom said, you need your sleep. If she finds out you stayed up all night, you'll be in so much trouble."

"I know what mom said, but this is important to me. If I'm going to win a trophy, I need to focus."

"But what about your health? If you don't get your sleep, you won't have enough energy to do anything."

"Lana I appreciate your concern, but I'll be fine. Just go back to your own bed."

Lana then leaves Lincoln's room and shuts the door. Lana is in the hallway trying to figure out how to get Lincoln to sleep. "What am I gonna do? Lincoln really needs his rest. Think Lana, think. Maybe I could have Luna sing him a lullaby? No! Even better! I could have Lucy hypnotize him to sleep. No wait. That'll never work. I know! Lynn can knock him unconscious with her baseball bat! Nah! He'd never forgive her for that. Dang! This is so hard!"

Lana then hears something going on downstairs so she goes to check it out. She tiptoes over to the kitchen to see Lisa working on something. He tries to sneak over to see what it is, but Lisa hears her boots making a squeaking noise.

"I can sense your presence Lana."

"How did you know I was here?"

"I could sense the eerie sound of your wellington galoshes."

"My what?"

"Your boots were squeaking."

"WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP BRINGING THAT UP?! Doesn't matter. What are you doing down here so late?"

"If you must know, I am perfecting my incredibly enhanced sleep inducer."

"What's a sleep inducer?"

"It's an elixir that puts people to sleep. Just one droplet of this could knock a person out in an instant. It's nearly completed. All I need to do is add a single pinch of the secret ingredient."

Lisa takes out a bottle of a special powder. Lana then gets an idea. "Um, Lisa? Mind if I add the secret ingredient?" Lisa thinks about it for a minute.

"I suppose that would be fine. However, I must advise you to only add a very tiny amount. That stuff is a very powerful sleep agent."

"So the more you put in, the longer a person stays asleep?"

"Affirmative. Anyway, you pour in the ingredient, I'll go get some cups."

As Lisa goes over to the cabinet to go get the cups, Lana puts in a pinch of the secret ingredient and then hides the bottle under her hat. "Hey Lisa? Do you think you could get an extra cup for Lincoln? He might be a little thirsty."

"Very well. That would be fine." Lisa grabs a dark blue mug, a chartreuse green mug and an orange mug out of the cabinet and fills them up. She takes the green mug and hands Lana the blue and orange mugs. "There we go. One for Lincoln, one for you, and one for me. To a goodnight sleep." Lisa and Lana clink their two mugs together. Lisa takes her cup and goes back upstairs to bed.

Lana takes out the bottle from under her hat and pours a little of the secret ingredient into Lincoln's cup.

"It's for your own good, Lincoln."

She then puts the bottle back under her cap and takes the two cups upstairs. She then goes over to Lincoln's room and sees that her brother is completely stressed.

"Hey Lincoln."

"What is it now Lana?"

"I was just thinking. You know, you've been working so hard, I thought you could use a drink."

"I don't know. Lana, I know you're worried about me, but I promise you, everything will be fine."

"I know. That's why I brought you this. If you really have to do this, then I'm wishing you luck with a toast."

"Well, I guess I am getting a little thirsty." Lincoln takes the orange mug while Lana takes the blue one.

"And I just want you to know that no matter what happens, we'll always be proud of you."

"Thanks."

"A toast to being siblings?"

"To being siblings."

"CHEERS!" they both clink their glasses together, and Lincoln drinks his cup pretty fast. "Hey, this isn't that bad. I actually….feel…..a little…." Lincoln starts to feel a little drowsy and his vision starts to get a little blurry. "What's happening?"

"Ssshhhhhhhhh. There, there now," Lana says in a soothing yet hypnotic voice as if she was putting him in a trance. "It's okay. You don't have to worry about anything. Just relax, and let your mind drift away." Lincoln tries to stay awake, but he feels his free will slipping away. "Don't worry about anything. Just close your eyes and sleep." Lincoln finally falls asleep in his chair. Lana then picks him up and carries him to his bed, pulls the cover over him and kisses him goodnight. "Sweet dreams big bro." and with that, Lana leaves the room. "I can't believe that worked." Lana then goes into her own room and finishes her drink and goes into her own bed and goes to sleep.

The next morning, Lana wakes up from her bed, kicks off her boots and puts on her overalls and her sneakers.

She then goes over to Lincoln's room to check on him. "Rise and shine big bro." Lana tries to wake Lincoln up but it doesn't work. "Lincoln. Come on. Time to get up." Lincoln is still sleeping so she tries shaking him awake. "Lincoln! Wake up!"

"I've had enough of you lobsters taking my sandwiches," Lincoln says in his sleep.

Lana then brings in numerous things to try to wake him up, such as an alarm clock, a rooster, a bugle, a drum, cymbals, and an air horn. "Hmmm. What else is loud and obnoxious?" Lana then puts on her green rubber boots and starts stomping around in them making them squeak, but it still doesn't work.

"LANA!" Lola screams from the other room. "CUT IT OUT WITH THAT SQUEAKING!"

"CANT EVERYONE JUST LET THAT GO ALREADY!?" Lana shouts in annoyance. She kicks off her boots and starts to think. "This isn't working! I need help!"

Lana then brings Luna into Lincoln's room and Lana is explaining everything. "…..and so now he won't wake up."

"Dude, do you know how _wrong_ that is?"

"I know, I know! It was stupid of me. What'll I do? If mom and dad find out Lincoln slept through everything, he'll be in big trouble! You gotta help me! PLEASE LUNA!"

"I don't know, dude."

"PLEASE! PLEASE!" Lana uses the puppy dog eyes.

"I still don't know."

"PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!" Lana keeps begging while still using the cute eyes. Luna finally gives in.

"Oh, alright, alright! I'll help you! Just please! No more begging!"

"Thanks Luna. So do you think you can wake him up?"

"Just watch me." Luna then starts playing her guitar as loud as possible but it's still not enough to wake up Lincoln. "Well, I'm all out of ideas."

"Looks like we have no choice." Luna and Lana then rush over to Lisa's room. "Lisa! We need your help!"

"Let me guess, you put too much of the secret ingredient in the sleep inducer?"

"How'd you know?"

"I can sense the guilt in your voice."

"Okay it's true. I put too much of the ingredient in his drink."

"Didn't I tell you that it was a very powerful sleep agent?"

"Yes I know what you said! But Lincoln needed sleep and I couldn't help it! I need your help Lisa! Please! You gotta help!"

Lana then grabs Lisa by her shirt and starts shaking her rapidly. "Take your grubby hands off my sweater." Lana then let's go, which causes Lisa to fall to the floor on her back. "We shall discuss this later, but seeing as how you're desperate, I shall attempt to make an antidote. However, due to the amount of hard labor we're supposed to do today, it will take a while."

"I don't care how long it takes! Just make it as fast as you can!"

"Have you no patience? You can't rush science! Now shoo!" Luna and Lana then leave Lisa's room and Lisa shuts the door.

"AARGHH! THIS IS HOPELESS!" Lana shouts in exasperation.

"Lana."

"NOT ONLY DID LINCOLN NOT GET ENOUGH SLEEP, BUT NOW HE'S NOT GONNA WAKE UP!"

"Lana!"

"THEN MOM AND DAD ARE GOING TO FIND OUT THAT HE SLEPT THROUGH HIS CHORES, AND THEN HE'LL BE GROUNDED!"

"LANA!"

"AND IT'LL BE ALL MY FAULT!"

"LANA! Get a hold of yourself! You're being hysterical!"

Lana gets some sense knocked into her and finally calms down. "You're right Luna. I shouldn't have gotten so upset. But what are we going to do?"

"Easy, we'll just do his chores for him. Nobody will know that he slept through the day and everything will be fine."

"You know, that actually makes sense. Let's do it!"

Back in Lincoln's room, Lincoln is still asleep on the bed while Lana and Luna are searching for Lincoln's to do list. "Here it is," Lana reads. "Lincoln's to do list: take out the trash, mow the lawn, pick up dry-cleaning, clear out the attic, and help repave the driveway, submit drawing for art contest, introduce pastry for bake sale and participate in the Royal Woods soda drinking competition. Sheesh! Who knew Lincoln had so much stuff to do?"

"I'll say."

"But it doesn't matter. If there's a chance this won't get Lincoln into trouble, then it'll be worth it. We'll get this stuff done, and we'll do it in a music montage. Luna, could you give me a little 'working for the weekend' music please?"

"You got it sis."

A montage begins of Lana and Luna performing Lincoln's chores, including mowing the lawn, picking up the dry-cleaning, clearing out the attic and repaving the drive way.

"You know, usually I like getting my hands dirty, but this is too much work even for me," Lana complained.

"I know dude," Luna replies. "if I have to keep doing this, I might not be able to play my axe for a week."

"I don't even think I can pick up an axe. But at least this job is done. Time to go back inside."

"Amen to that little dudette."

"Yeah, I'm not gonna miss this job, because repaving that driveway took-."

The two girls stop to realize that not only did they ruin their work, but their feet were also stuck in the concrete. "Nooooooooo!" the girls shout at the top of their lungs.

They then go back inside to put a new pair of shoes on.

"Man that was painstaking even for me," Lana complains. "How did Lincoln ever get assigned to repave the driveway anyway?"

"Mom and pop thought that he's ready for more responsibility, so they decided to give him harder tasks."

"Well _that_ figures. But on the bright side, the chores are done. All we have left are his activities."

"Yes except for one thing. How are we supposed to get our bro to his activities if he's still asleep?"

Lana thinks for a minute and then gets an idea. "I might know a way." Later, Luna and Lana are seen carrying Lincoln downstairs. Lynn is in the dining room eating a subway sandwich when she sees the three heading toward the front door. "Hey little bro! Want half my sandwich? There's more than enough."

Lana tries to imitate Lincoln's voice while Luna tries moving his lips to match those words. "Oh, no thank you Lynn. I'm not hungry. What about you Lana?"

"No thanks," Lana answers. "Luna?"

"Not me dude," Luna replies. "I had a pretty big breakfast."

"Besides, Lincoln's got plans today. Isn't that right bro?"

"Sure thing, Mordecai," Lincoln mumbles in his sleep.

"Mordecai?" Lynn questions. "Who's Mordecai?"

"Oh," Lana stammers. "Lincoln's just talking about a character from a TV show. Remember Luna? That cartoon show?"

"Oh yeah," Luna replies. "That show with the robin and the raccoon."

"I'm pretty sure it was a blue jay," Lana corrects. "Anyway, we gotta go."

Luna and Lana take Lincoln out of the house, leaving Lynn alone. "Whatever," she replies and goes back to eating her sandwich.

"That was a close one," Lana sighs in relief. "You got his bake sale entry?"

"As long as you got his art contest entry."

"Right here," Lana confirms as she holds up an envelope. "Come on let's go."

Lana and Luna then go around town and deliver Lincoln's entries to their respective competitions, all while keeping everybody from finding out that Lincoln is asleep. "You know, it's amazing how many things you can do in one day if you try real hard," Lana says. "But still, I can't help thinking we forgot something."

"Hey Lincoln." Clyde suddenly appears next to them surprising them. "And I thought only Lucy could do that," Lana mutters under breath.

"Sorry guys. Lincoln where have you been? The royal woods soda drinking competition started a half hour ago. You promised you would be there."

"Oh, Lincoln's had a pretty busy day and he's a little tired." Luna lifts Lincoln's head to make it look like he's nodding.

"Okay, I understand. I was just really hoping you could make it. we were really counting on you. You know Paige really wanted to see you enter, but I'll just tell her you couldn't make it. I guess I'll see you later."

Clyde then leaves and Lana starts to feel even more guilty than before. "I knew I forgot something. We have to take Lincoln to that contest."

"WHAT?!" Luna shouts in exhaustion "after everything we've been through today!?"

"Luna, do you realize how disappointed his friends are going to be? Especially Paige? She's really counting on Lincoln. It's all my fault and I _have_ to fix it, but I can't do it without your help. Besides, it's a soda drinking contest. If we take him and he wakes up, he'll just think he drank too much and passed out."

"You know, that actually makes sense. Maybe you're right. Plus it's not every day Lincoln gets to impress a girl."

"What do you say big bro? You ready to go?" Lincoln doesn't respond. "I'll take that as a yes."

* * *

Luna and Lana take Lincoln to the competition where they meet up with Lincoln's friends. Glad you could make it buddy," Clyde tells him. "this competition's going to be big. You better prepare yourself."

"Oh you better be prepared." The group turns around to see Lincoln's classmate Chandler walking toward them. "Prepared to be a _loser_."

"What are you doing here Chandler?"

"Just checking out the competition. You see, I happen to be one of the contestants, and by the looks of it, this competition is in the bag, for _me_ that is. So if I were you, I'd chicken out while I'm behind."

"You don't know what you're talking about Chandler!" Paige interjects. "Lincoln is no chicken."

"Oh really? Then why is his hair all white? Oh I know? Perhaps it got so scared that it lost all its color."

Chandler then laughs which starts to make Lana really mad. "Nobody makes fun of my brother's hair and gets away with it," she mutters to herself. "What's that Lincoln? You think Chandler is a loser and you're not a chicken? And you want to enter the competition to prove him wrong? Okay bro, if you say so."

"For a little guy, you sure are making a big mistake. Hope you worked up an appetite, because you're gonna need all the luck you can get, which I highly doubt."

The competition then starts with the contestants sitting at the table. Luna and Lana are each standing next to Lincoln.

"The rules for the competition are simple." the judge says. "All contestants must drink as much soda as they can, and whoever can last without fainting or throwing up is the winner."

Luna and Lana are filling the soda cans into Lincoln's mouth, with each drink being fizzier and more carbonated than the last.

"This is going pretty good," Lana replies. "We just need one more and Lincoln wins."

The judge then brings out the last drink in a jumbo can. As he opens the lid, the soda comes out of the opening and splashes Lincoln in the face and Lincoln finally wakes up.

"Where am I? Luna? Lana? What are you guys doing here?"

"TIME OUT!" Lana shouts as they both take Lincoln behind the stage.

"Guys! What's going on here?"

"Alright!" Lana answers. "Don't get mad, but do you remember the drink I gave you last night? Well, it was actually an elixir that Lisa made and I kinda used it to put you to sleep."

"YOU WHAT?!"

"I'm sorry! I knew it was wrong, but you were stressing yourself out too much and I only wanted to help. But it's all okay."

"Yeah dude," Luna adds. "We took care of your chores for you and your activities."

"And now you're kinda in a soda drinking competition and a few of your friends placed a bet on you?"

"WAIT! WHAT?! WHO!?"

"Oh just Clyde, Rusty, Zach and Liam, and some girl named Paige."

"PAIGE?!" Lincoln starts to panic as he looks back at the audience from behind the stage. He then turns his attention back to his two sisters.

"Look Lincoln," Lana says. "You got two choices. You can either stay here and scold us, or you can go out there and really impress your friends."

Lincoln thinks it over for a moment. He then goes back on stage and Luna and Lana both follow.

"I have an announcement to make!" Lincoln grabs the big soda can and holds it up. "I'm gonna drink this. And so are my two sisters Lana and Luna."

Lincoln then pours the drink into three cups and they all drink t he soda at once. Once the glasses are finished, the three kids let out a very loud belch that can be heard a mile away. The audience is stunned at first but then they all cheer.

"AND THE WINNER IS LINCOLN LOUD!" The audience keeps cheering and Lincoln is handed a trophy.

Back at the loud house, Lincoln opens the door and sees both Lynn sr. and Rita glaring at him with stern looks on their faces. "So I see you've got yourself a trophy, little champ," Lynn says sternly.

"Yeah. I won it at the royal woods soda competition."

"But I thought I told you, you could go if you did all of your chores," Rita sternly says.

"But I _did_ do all my chores."

"Oh really? Then how come the garbage hasn't been taken out?" The kids are shocked to see piles of garbage around the house.

"How could we forget about the trash?" Lana whispers argumentatively.

"We? What do you mean ' _we'_? _You're_ the one who forgot dudette!" Luna argues back.

"Well how was _I_ supposed to remember? There was too much to do! It's not my fault my memories not as good as yours, but it is your fault for not reminding me!"

"Cut the trash talk!"

"Me? _You're_ the one talking like trash!"

The two girls stop arguing as soon as they see Lincoln's still being scolded by his parents. "But I-."

"No buts Lincoln," Rita says. "you know the rules. You missed one of your chores, so we have no choice but to punish you. You're grounded."

"Yes mom." Lincoln starts to go upstairs to his room. Lana watches and starts to feel a little guilty.

"Wait Lincoln. It's _my_ fault," Lana confessed. "I gave him an elixir that Lisa made and it put him to sleep. I wasn't trying to keep him from doing his work. I was just worried that he wasn't getting enough sleep. I was only trying to help, but I guess I gave him too much and I'm sorry. So if you're going to punish anyone, it should be me." Lana then hangs her head in shame. The parents think it over for a minute. Rita then kneels to her daughter and consoles her.

"Sweetie," she says. "It's okay. You're not in trouble. You were just looking out for your brother. And you did help him out with his chores, and you did do yours, so that proves you were being very responsible, and I'm very proud of you, and you too Luna."

"So you're not gonna punish me?"

"No honey, we're not. But next time, watch what you're doing."

"I will."

"And as for you, Lincoln," their father replies, "you're un-grounded, but you need to start keeping track of the activities you sign up for. We don't want you putting too much pressure on yourself."

"And you still need to take out the trash," Rita adds.

"Don't worry mom," Lincoln answers. "I'll get to work on it right away."

"Well, all right." Both the parents leave.

Lana then walks up to her brother. "Lincoln, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean for all this to happen."

"Lana, it's okay. You were just worried about me, and you did make up for it. Plus, thanks to you, I got all the rest and relaxation I needed. So in a way, you kind of did me a favor." The two siblings then hug each other. "But do me another favor. Next time you borrow an elixir from Lisa, it would be nice if you _asked_ me first."

"As long as _you_ promise to get enough sleep from now on."

"Deal. Thanks for everything Lana. You too Luna."

"No problem, bro," Luna replies.

Just then, the doorbell rings. Clyde is standing in the doorway as Lincoln opens the door. "Hey Clyde. What are you doing here?"

"Hey Lincoln. I just came to give you this." Clyde hands Lincoln an envelope and opens it. As he is reading it, Lincoln is surprised by what it says.

"Where'd you get this?"

"It came in the mail. They were so amazed about the comic we made that they asked us to make more. Also I heard from the bake sale and they said that your entry was uniquely magnificent."

"Well gee. I don't know what to say. This is quite an honor."

"I know right? Well anyways, I have to go. See you tomorrow." Clyde leaves and Lincoln closes the door and turns around to see the rest of his sisters (sans Lola and Lisa) smiling at him.

"How long have you guys been standing there?"

"We kinda overheard the whole thing," Lori answers, "and we'd just like to say were proud of you little brother."

"Aw gee. Thanks guys. That means a lot."

Just then, Lisa and Lola arrive downstairs. Lisa is carrying a small beaker while Lola follows behind looking quite grumpy. "AARGH! It's bad enough that I'm stuck doing chores all day long, now a have to be surrounded by you low class philistines?!"

"What's wrong with her?" her tomboyish twin asks.

"She's just being a little aggressive because she didn't get enough sleep last night," the young scientist replies. "Speaking of which, here's the antidote."

"Thanks Lis', but we don't really need it anymore. Lincoln's awake now. But, listen, sorry I put too much of the ingredient in the elixir after you told me not to."

"Fear not, elder sister. All is forgiven. Although, if I may, what did you end up doing with the rest of the elixir."

"Oh, I got too tired to finish it so I just put it on the table where Lola has her tea parties." Lana then realizes what she said and immediately cowers in fear. Upon hearing that, Lola marches right up to her twin completely infuriated.

"WHAT!? YOU MEAN I DRANK SOMETHING OUT OF YOUR CUP!? OH YOU ARE SO GONNA PAY FOR THIS!" Lola is about to soccer punch Lana in the face but then she starts to feel a little drowsy. "Just as soon as I…..I gotta lie down." Lola then falls on the floor and falls asleep.

"Should we give her the antidote now?" Lisa asks.

"Nah! We'll just let her have her beauty sleep," Lana answers. Lincoln and the other sisters then walk away leaving the twins alone. Lana then gets a smug look on her face. She runs up the stairs and then comes back down with her green boots on. "At least this way she won't complain about my squeaky boots," she says to the viewers. She then continues to dance and stomp around while her boots make a squeaking sound, but this time, Lola doesn't say a thing.

* * *

 **Well, that's the fourth chapter. Hope you all enjoyed that. Now you guys may have noticed that there's a running gag in the story about Lana wearing her rubber boots when she goes to sleep. Well, there's actually a reason for that. You see, in case you might not be aware, there were scenes in the episode _Garage Banned_ where Lana wears those same boots while she's sleeping, and I thought that was so cool, funny and cute that I just couldn't resist adding it in. Plus she wears her baseball cap in bed, so why not? As for the squeaking, I got that inspiration from the ****_SpongeBob_** **episode Squeaky Boots. Now I know that episode got a pretty bad reputation, but it's honestly one of my favorites simply because it's funny. So I figured I would add that in just to give people something to laugh about. Anyways, I do plan to do one chapter based on the _Chowder_ episode The Moldy Touch (as soon as I can figure out how) and a lot more stories. And I will definitely take the suggestions I got into consideration and write them out as soon as I can. Now I'm not sure how many chapters this story is going to have in total, but I plan to do as many as I can. ****Anyways, feel free to comment/suggest, and I'll see you next time. Until then, so long everybody! (I know I say that a lot, but I love using it as a catchphrase.)**


	5. Short 1: Oceanography

**Here's a short based on a _Jimmy Neutron_ promo called _Sea Minus_.**

On a normal day in the Loud house, Lisa came down the stairs as her older sisters followed.

"Come on Lisa," Lana begs. "You promised you would help us on our oceanic-giraffe report."

"You mean oceanography," Lisa corrected. "And I'm working on it."

Then Lincoln came down with a ladder. "Ah, life at the bottom of the ocean. Great topic girls."

"Thanks Lincoln," Lucy said.

Lincoln was using a ladder to inspect a leak that was on the living room ceiling. "Gotta fix this leak."

"Hold on. I'll give you a hand." Lana went to inspect herself.

"Don't you think you should help us out Lisa?" Lola confronts.

"I already am," Lisa explains.

Meanwhile, Lana tried poking at the leak on the ceiling. "Aw dang it. I can't do a thing about this leak from in here. I'll have to go topside."

Lana went down the ladder and headed for the front door.

This got Lisa worried. "I wouldn't do that!"

"How come?" As soon as Lana opens the door, the entire house became flooded.

The result was that the whole house was under the ocean.

Inside, everyone was swimming in the water.

"Uh…….Lisa?" Lincoln asked. "The next time you use your matter transporter to move the house, it would be nice if you _warned_ us first."

"Okay."

Then their father came in with his head in a big fish. "Honey! I met the new neighbors! They wanna have us for dinner!"


	6. Lola orders out

**Hey everybody! I'm back once again. Sorry to have kept you guys waiting. Now I do have a much longer story coming out soon, but I just wanna get this one out of the way. Now I know you guys tend to get impatient (especially the ones with requests) and are waiting for some of your favorite stories to be updated, but there's a reason for that. You see developing a story is a lot like doing animation for a cartoon show, it takes time and if you want to perfect it, you have to work hard. And if I have to be honest, I tend to get a little impatient myself when I'm reading some of these stories, but if there's one thing I do know, it's that you can't rush other people's work, so the best I can do is just wait. Besides if everything took exactly one second to do, there'd be nothing left for us to do, and what fun would that be? Now with all that said, allow me to introduce you to Lola Orders Out. Now for this chapter, I decided to base it on the _Rugrats_ episode Angelica Orders Out, and as you guessed, I gave Lola the role of Angelica since they both have (somewhat) similar personalities. I will have more chapters coming soon, but I wanted to get this one out of the way before I forget. Enjoy the story.**

 **And as always, I own nothing. Rights go to respective owners.**

 ** _The Loud House_ (Chris Savino/Nickelodeon), _Rugrats_ (Arlene Klasky, Gabor Csupo/Nickelodeon)**

The episode starts out with Lisa in her room working on another one of her inventions. The device appears to be a voice changing crown. Once it's finished, Lisa puts the device on her head and goes downstairs. Everyone's in the living room sitting on the couch watching TV.

"Hey Lisa," Leni greets. "What do you wanna do today?"

Lisa activates the machine and it makes her sound like Brain from _Pinky and the Brain_. "Same thing we do everyday Leni," Lisa says. "Try to take over the house." The rest of the Loud siblings gasp upon hearing Lisa's change of voice. Lisa turns the dial which makes her sound like Alec Baldwin's character from _The Boss Baby_ " Fine. You got me. I can talk like this, now let's see if you can listen, get me an orange soda and by any chance could you see if there's any place around here with decent Italian food because I've got a hankering for a tasty calzone right about now." Lisa then pulls out a roll of money and then throws it into the air. "Get yourself a little something." However the money appears to be false.

"Hey! This is fake money!" Lola complains.

Lisa turns the dial again, making her sound like Clark Gable from _Gone with the Wind_. "Frankly my dear, I don't give a dang."

"Woah! How did you do that? What is that thing?" Her siblings ask curiously.

Lisa takes the device off her head and talks in her normal voice. "This my dear siblings is my acoustical voice frequency manipulation module, more commonly referred to as a voice changer."

"That?" Lincoln asks. " _That's_ the darn thing that makes your voice sound different?"

"It features a multitude of voices. Up to over 500 different settings, and includes the ability to increase the volume enough to be heard for 50 miles 'round. Nifty little contraption, isn't it?"

"Oh please. That's impossible, implausible, unreasonable and unbelievable. If you ask me, I think you've been in your room too long. You know maybe if you got out more, you might be able to come up with something that's actually beneficial…." as Lincoln is talking, Lisa starts to get really annoyed and sets the dial on the device and puts it on Lincoln head, making his voice sound all scrambled and high pitched like a video that's being rewinded. Lana thinks it's funny and starts laughing uncontrollably while rolling on the floor.

"Oh man! She got you good Lincoln. Let me try." Lana takes the voice changer and places it on her head. Random sounds then start coming from her mouth, ranging from a Boing-Boing, a ribbit, a cow's moo and even a foghorn.

"Did I mention the module also includes a variety of sounds?"

"Well don't be selfish, gimme that!" Lola snatches the device and places it on her head. Her voice begins to sound just like Rita. "So how does it work? Hey! Listen to me."

"Whoa cool!" Lana says in amazement. "She sounds just like Mom."

"Alright, now _I'm_ the boss of everybody and you all have to do exactly what I say."

"Nice try Lola." Rita and Lynn Sr. Come into the living room. "You had your fun sweetie, now give Lisa back her invention."

"Awwww." Lola takes off the module and hands it to Lisa.

"Thanks very much older sibling. I must advise you not to abuse the technology. There's some things in this universe that mankind should not tamper with." Lisa goes back upstairs to put the invention away.

"Alright girls," Rita tells the older sisters. "We better get going or we'll miss the Wonderful World of Career Interest seminar." Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan and Lynn come to the front door. "I can't thank you enough Lincoln. You sure you can watch your five younger sisters while we're gone?"

"Come on Mom, I've done it before, I can do it again. With me in charge, you got nothing to worry about."

"Thanks sweetie. And if you're hungry, you can call the delivery service to bring some lunch."

"Really?"

"Yep, I told them it was alright and the numbers on speed dial. All you have to do is tell them your name and to put the food on the Loud House account. Think you can do that?"

"Sure, seems simple enough."

"Well we have to go. Now I want you girls to be on your best behavior while we're gone."

"Aren't we always?" Lola asks her mother.

"No you are not. Not always, not mostly, not usually."

"Well sometimes we are," Lana says.

"And it would be very nice if this was one of those rare times." Rita and Lynn leave with Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan and Lynn Jr., leaving Lincoln alone with Lucy, Lana, Lola, Lisa and Lily. "We'll be back in a short while Lincoln. Oh, and we're trying to take care of their teeth, so please don't order them any junk food. Otherwise you'll be stuck doing kitchen duty for the next week."

"Don't worry. We'll be fine. You guys just go have fun. I can handle it." With that, Lincoln's older sisters leave with the parents and the young ones home alone. They start playing in the living room for a bit until their stomachs start growling. "Huh, getting kinda hungry. How about we get something to eat?"

"Sure," Lana says. "I could use some food in me."

"I too am getting a little peckish myself," Lisa agrees.

"My stomach is about to be turned into a black hole if I don't eat something soon," Lucy adds.

"Poo poo!" Says Lily.

"Alright guys, we'll get some food."

"Can I dial the phone Linky?!" Lola cries. "Please Linky? Can I dial the phone? Can I? Can I? Can I?"

"Alright, Alright already. Here, let me show you." There's a list of speed dial buttons next to the phone. "Number one is Mom's office, number two is Dads office, number three is Bobby and Ronnie Anne's, and all the way down here at number nine is the Royal Woods deli."

Lola presses the button and the phone starts ringing. "Hello, welcome to the Royal Woods home delivery service. How may I help you?"

"Hello this is Lincoln Loud. I like to place an order for delivery."

"Do you have permission from parent or guardian?"

"Yes I do."

"Okay Lincoln Loud. What can I get for you?"

"Send over 4 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on white bread cut into perfect triangles, a baked potato extra well cooked, a bologna sandwich with a side of Cesar salad and some mashed carrots with a side of cottage cheese. And what about desert? You got any baked apples?"

"Sure do."

"Perfect. Send over 4 baked apples with that order. And just put it under the Loud House account. Thank you."

"You're food is on the way and thanks for calling." Lincoln hangs up the phone.

"Baked apples?" Lola complains. "I hate stupid baked apples!"

"Sorry Lola," Lincoln says "but you heard what Mom said; no junk food. You wouldn't want your big brother to get in trouble now would you?"

* * *

Moments later, the food arrives and every starts eating (with Lincoln feeding Lily in her high chair), but Lola is just sitting at the table pouting, staring at her food refusing to eat it. "Well, That sure was great. So what do you guys want to do now?"

"I don't know about you, but kinda feel like a nap," Lana said with a yawn.

"Agreed," Lucy says. "I could use a little break from the sunlight."

"I too could use some REM sleep," Lisa confirms. Lily also lets out a yawn.

"Alright. Come on, let's get you to bed." Lincoln takes Lily upstairs and Lucy and Lisa both follow. Lucy goes into her and Lynn's room while Lincoln takes Lily into Lisa's room. Lisa then gets into her bed while Lincoln puts Lily into her crib. With the two kids asleep, Lincoln goes back downstairs to meet up with the twins. "You know, taking care of your younger siblings sure takes a lot out of you." Lincoln starts to get a little tired himself and falls asleep on the couch.

"Finally. I thought he'd never go to sleep." Lola walks over to the phone while Lana follows.

"Lola? What are you doing?"

"Nothing that concerns nosey twin sisters who like icky reptiles and stupid baked apples."

"Oh come on. They're not so bad. They actually taste pretty good."

"What do _you_ know about good tastes? You eat out of the trash. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get myself some real food. Now let's see, all I gotta do is press this button." Lola presses the 9 button on speed dial and the phone starts ringing.

"Hello. Royal Woods food delivery. How may I help you?"

"Hi, I'd like a big bag of quadruple fudge chocolate chip cookies, sent to the Loud House right away please."

"Cookies?" Lana whispers. "If Mom and Dad catch us with cookies, they're gonna put Lincoln on kitchen duty."

"Quiet!" Lola pushes her twin aside.

"Excuse me but how old are you, little girl?"

"I'm practically 6, no wait, 9!"

"Sorry kid, we only take orders from grown ups, and you have to be over 10 to order with permission from parents."

"But-. But-." Lola then gets an idea. "Hold the phone please." Lola leaves the room for a second and comes back with Lisa's voice changing invention, puts it on her head and turns the dial and it makes her voice sound like Rita's. "Hello, this is Rita Loud speaking. I'm the mother of the household. You got a problem sending my sweet little girl her cookies?"

"Oh no, Mrs. Loud, as long as you say it's ok. Want anything else?"

"Anything else? What else do you have?"

"Well for dessert we got chocolate cake, eclairs, coconut cream pie, rhubarb pie, strawberry shortcake, chocolate macadamias, flan, cream filled donuts—."

"Sounds good! Send it all. Bye." Lola hangs up the phone and starts talking in her normal voice. "That was easier than I thought. I wonder what else I can do with this." Lola pushes the number 2 button and the phone starts ringing.

"Hello, Lynn Loud Sr."

"Oh hello Da—, I mean Lynn. This is Rita Loud speaking."

"Yeah, thanks for telling me, hon. I never would've guessed."

"Listen Lynn, Lola is the best and most wonderful girl in the whole wide world. So I want you to run out to Princess Palace and buy me….I mean her, that new pageant queen ultra mega play world that she's been wanting for so long, since she's been so good and all."

"Are we talking about the same old Lola?"

"JUST GET IT! And bring it over to the house so Lola can play with it today! I gotta go. Kiss kiss." Lola hangs up the phone. "Dang, Lisa's really outdone herself this time."

"That's it Lola!" Lana shouts. "I'm not letting you get us into trouble! I'm gonna wake up Lincoln so we can call that place and stop that delivery!"

Lana leaves to go wake up Lincoln but Lola grabs her by the overall straps. "I don't think so." Lola then drags Lana to their room and puts Lana in a cage all chained up with locks.

"Hey! Hey let me out of here you prissy princess brat! Come on! Let me out! Oh, you're going to be in so much trouble when I get out of here! When I get done with you, your dresses will be so filthy it'll take months for them to get clean. Come back here Lola! You chicken!" Lana keeps on shouting but Lola just ignores it and leaves her twin in the room and closes the door. All the rest of that day, Lola keeps making numerous phone calls.

* * *

Minutes pass, the food delivery makes its way to the Loud House. As the delivery man makes his way to the door, Lola takes a picture of Rita and runs towards the door. The delivery man is about to ring the doorbell until he hears Lola talking in Rita's voice. "Just leaves the bags by the door."

"Who said that?"

"Down here." Lola holds the picture of Rita to the mail slot. "Just leave the bags and go away!"

"Okay sure, thanks for calling Royal Woods home delivery."

"Go away!" Lola closes the mail slot. The delivery man walks away leaving the bags by the front door. Lola takes the bags upstairs to her room and closes the door.

* * *

After a while, Lincoln finally wakes up from the couch. "Nothing like a good nap to recharge your batteries," he said with a stretch and a yawn. He then looks around and sees the twins are nowhere in sight. "That's strange. Where'd the twins go?"

In the twins room, Lana is still in the cage, Lola takes the dessert out of the bags and is about to eat it. "This is going to be the best dessert I ever…."

"What's going on here?" Lincoln barges through the door and sees Lana in the cage. "Lana?" Lincoln unlocks the cage and lets Lana out of the chains. "Lana, what were you doing in that cage?"

"Lola put me in there."

"Lola why did you…." Lincoln then sees the bags of pastries. "Royal Woods Food delivery? Lola, how did you….?" Lola hides Lisa's device behind her back. "Lisa's invention? Lola, what did you do?"

"Well I…...I…...Haven't you ever heard of knocking?"

"You guys barge in my room all the time."

"It's true. We do." Lana confirms.

"But that's not the point! I turned my back for a few minutes and you go around ordering a bunch of junk?! Oh, we're in so much trouble! We gotta get rid of this stuff before….." Lincoln then hears the phone ringing and goes to answer it. "Look whoever it is, we're a little…."

"Lincoln, it's your mother."

"Oh, hi Mom. What's up?"

"We just wanted to let you know that the seminar was canceled. Apparently there's been a very serious accident with a water pipe and a loose floorboard. So we're coming home."

"Oh! Well great!"

"See you in a bit." Lincoln hangs up the phone.

"Great! A loose floorboard water pipe incident. Wouldn't you know it?"

"See?" Lana complains. "I told them they should've taken me along to help fix the problem, but noooo, they told me to stay here."

"Lana, you know they don't allow kids under 10 take care of these problems. You gotta get used to restrictions sometimes."

"And that's exactly why I wasn't able to fix the pipes and the floorboard because all they can say is that I'm too young."

Just then, the doorbell rings. "Who can that be?" Lincoln looks through the window. "It's Dad. With some kind of big box."

"My pageant queen ultra mega play world," Lola says excitedly.

"You called him too? Who else did you call?"

"Nobody."

"Better not be. Now look, I'll take care of Dad. You take Lana and hide somewhere, and don't make a peep until I say so."

Lola then runs off with Lana and they hide in the kitchen. Lincoln gathers the desserts and puts them in the bag and carries them in one arm and opens the door. "Hey Dad. What are you doing here?"

"Hey son. Mom called and said that Lola's been so good lately that I had to run out and get this very expensive….oh my g, what happened?" The desserts start falling out of the bottom of the bag. "The girls haven't been eating sweets, have they?"

"What? No! I just thought I'd order some dessert for the older girls while the little ones were napping. I'd have some myself but I'm trying to take care of my own teeth." Other cars then start pulling up, revealing to be Albert, Myrtle, Bobby, Ronnie Anne and the Casagrandes. "Can you excuse me for a moment?" Lincoln shuts the door. "Pop-pop, gran-gran, Bobby and Ronnie Anne? What are they…? Don't tell me. You called them too, didn't you?"

"Maybe," Lola says nervously.

"Anyone else?"

"Uh-Uh."

Lincoln opens the door. "Look Dad, why don't I just grab this, and you can give these to the girls yourself?"

"Lincoln, what's going on?"

"Hey Lynn," Albert greets. "I hope we're not too late for Lola's surprise party."

"What are you talking about? Lola's birthday isn't for another month." Just then, Rita arrives in Vanzilla with the other girls.

"Well would you look at the time? Nice seeing you all." Lincoln closes the door and runs back inside. "Oh man! This is bad! This is bad, bad, bad, bad, bad!"

"Lincoln." Lucy pops up next to Lincoln, startling him. "What's going on?"

"I too would like an explanation." Lisa appears to the other side of Lincoln, also startling him.

"Look guys, there's no time to explain. I need you guys to get rid of all this stuff while I keep them busy!"

You got it, Linky," Lola says.

Everyone's outside talking amongst themselves. Lincoln takes Lily and opens the door. "Look at this everybody! I uh…..taught Lily how to…..dance!" Lincoln sings scat as he moves Lily around, making it look like she's dancing. Lily feels a little annoyed by this.

"Lincoln, I thought you said they were napping."

"Lynn?" Rita walks up to her husband. "What are you doing here?"

"Well I guess I'm here for this big surprise party that you didn't even tell me about!"

"Lincoln, what's going on here?" Lori asks her brother. Lincoln backs up as everyone is confronting him, pushing the front door open. Everyone then sees Lola eating all the sweets from the delivery bags. She then sees everyone standing by the front door. "Hi everybody."

"Lincoln," Rita confronts her son. "What happened here?"

"Don't tell me you fell asleep again," her husband says.

"Oh no, no, no! I wasn't! I swear! I was keeping a sharp eye on them. And well I…don't look at me. Ask Lola."

"What difference does it make who did what?" Lola adds. "The important thing is that we're all here and we love each other." Lana starts to get really annoyed by what her twin is saying. So she goes to get Lisa's invention and places it on Lola's head, making her voice sound like Rita's. "After all, family is really what matters right?" Everybody finally realizes what's been going on and are immediately flabbergasted. "Why are you all looking at me like that?" Lola then hears her own voice and is immediately shocked. "Uh…...hehehe. Would anybody like some dessert?"

* * *

Later, Lisa puts her invention into a safe in her closet. "Well youngest sibling, I guess that's one invention that mankind just isn't ready for. Oh well, there's always next time." Lisa takes Lily and heads downstairs.

Lola and the other sisters are eating all of the desserts that Lola ordered, while Lincoln is in the kitchen washing dishes. "But mommy, I don't like this stuff."

"Lola, you ordered it. You'll eat it."

"How was I supposed to know flan would taste so disgusting?"

"You know I gotta hand it to you Lola," Lincoln says. "You kinda did me a favor. You know what the best part is about being on kitchen duty? You pretty much get to eat dessert all day."

"Yeah," Lana agrees. "Besides, it's a shame to have all this good food go to waste." Lana then sniffs one of her pies and gives it to Lucy. "Here Lucy, you can have this. It's rhubarb pie."

Lola looks to the audience and sighs. "If I had known getting your just desserts would have some bitter results, I would've ordered Chinese food."

* * *

 **So there's my chapter. I hope you spotted all the references used in it. But in case you didn't, let me show you: as you may have guessed in the beginning, the voices Lisa used were based of famous lines from _Pinky and the Brain_ (Steven Spielberg/Warner Bros), _The Boss Baby_ (Dreamworks Animation SKG), and _Gone With The Wind_ (MGM). As for the part where Lana used the invention to make sounds come out of her mouth, I decided to base that on the character _Gerald McBoing Boing_ (Dr. Seuss). Speaking of which, not only did I base Lisa's invention on Stu's from the same Rugrats episode, but it's also loosely based on the Grinch's invention, the VaccuuSound Sweeper, from the 1982 animated crossover, _The Grinch Grinches the Cat in the Hat_ (Dr. Seuss/DePatie Freleng Enterprises/Marvel Productions LTD.). Also you may notice that some of the dialogue may seem a little familiar. Anyway, for future chapters, I decided to make these references into a little game. Where the readers would try to spot the references/Easter eggs and see how many they can spot before they are revealed at the end. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this story and I will have more chapters coming soon. Also feel free to leave requests and suggestions (just nothing too dark or inappropriate). On a side note: I am planning on doing fan art for each chapter and once they're done, I will be more than happy to present them. Anyway, hope you all enjoyed the chapter and until next time, so long everybody!**


	7. Sprayed!

**Hey guys here I am once again, back in action. Now for this chapter I decided to take a reviewer request. Now this request comes from connor1126, and he/she asked for me to do a chapter based on the _Regular_ _Show_ episode _Skunked_! Funny enough, I actually thought about doing a chapter like that for a while, but I kept having trouble figuring out how it would work. However, I would hate to disappoint people, so I figured, why not. **

**_Regular Show_ (J.G. Quintel/Cartoon Network), _The Loud House_ (Chris Savino/Nickelodeon)**

 **Also I would like to thank connor1126 for requesting this idea.**

* * *

The story begins with Lola and Lana in their BlueBell troop, picking up dead animals in the road while Lana is holding a bingo card and Lola is holding a trash bag with antiseptic gloves. "So far, so good," Lana says. "Only a couple more and we get a bingo."

"This is totally disgusting you know," Lola complains. "I can't believe they made a stupid bingo card just to get us to pick up dead animals."

"So what? We'd still have to do it anyway, that's how we get our patch. We might as well try to have fun with it. Besides, they said we can stop once we get a bingo. So what do you say?"

"Fine! But I still think you're enjoying this too much."

All the rest of that day, the twins go around picking up roadkill. They are still searching until Lola is stopped by an awful smell. "P.U. Lana. If you're gonna let one out, you can at least warn me first."

"That wasn't me. Look!" Lana points to a skunk in the middle of the road.

"Ew! Skunk!"

"Wait, skunk?" Lana looks at the bingo card and sees that the skunk gives them a bingo. "Sis, we did it! We got bingo!"

"We did?"

"We did it! Come on. Let's get this in the bag." Lana picks up the skunk by the tail, but it sprays in her face. Lola tries to stay out of the stink cloud. The skunk then gets up.

"Hey, hey, hey!" The skunk shouts. "What's all this about?"

"Dude that's disgusting! Even by _my_ standards! What you do that for?"

"You think you can just walk right up to a guy and bother him whenever you want?!"

"We weren't trying to bother you! We thought you were dead!"

"I was sleeping!"

"In the middle of the street?"

"Oh and who are you? The king of slumber? The guy who tells people where they are or aren't allowed to sleep?"

"Excuse me, but in case you haven't noticed, I'm a _girl_!"

"Look, we're sorry," Lola steps in. "We thought you were dead. We thought we got a bingo."

"So just because you thought I was dead, you thought you got a bingo? What kind of sick and twisted game is that?!"

"It's just….our troop leader….okay never mind. No bingo."

"Uh hello!" Lana chimes back in. "Aren't we forgetting something?! I can't go back home smelling like this! I smell bad enough as it is! How do I get rid of the smell?"

"What?! You think there's just a switch on it that you can just turn on and off whenever you feel like it?! Well you can't! I got stuck with it, and you will be too!"

"Well you don't have to be rude about it you bushy tailed shrimp. Just tell me how to get rid of it."

"Did you just call me a shrimp?"

"Yeah I did! What are you gonna do about it?"

The skunk then grows into a giant monster and picks Lana up. "YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE! LETS SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT WHEN YOU CAN'T TURN IT OFF!"

"Let her go!" Lola comes back with a shovel. "Let her go or I'm gonna make you wish you were dead!" The skunk puts Lana down. "Now get lost!" The skunk shrinks down and runs off.

"You two disgust me."

"You okay Lana?"

"Yeah I'm fine. But maybe we should head back to the campground."

* * *

Lola and Lana are seeing walking down the path toward their house. "I cannot believe they made us come home early," Lola complains "all because of your stupid stench!"

"Hey! I can't help it if I got sprayed by a skunk!" They finally reach the Loud House and enter the living room to see Lincoln sitting on the couch.

"Hey guys. How's it…ew! What's that putrid stink?"

"Lana got sprayed by a skunk," Lola explains. "and they made us come home early."

"They said we're not allowed to go back until we can get the smell off of me."

"Well you might wanna get that smell off pronto. It smells worse than the inside of your shoes."

"Did you just insult me?!" Lana gets really mad and then shapeshifts into a monster, with a skunk tail growing out of her butt. She then grabs Lincoln by the shirt. "OH SO YOU THINK YOU CAN INSULT ME WHENEVER YOU FEEL LIKE IT?! IS THAT IT?! WELL WHAT ABOUT YOU WITH YOUR WHITE HAIR!? WHAT ARE YOU?! A POLAR BEAR?! A RABBIT?! OH, YOU DONT THINK IT'S FUNNY, HUH?! WELL LET'S SEE IF YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY!!!" Lana throws Lincoln against a wall. But after seeing this, she realized what she did and then shapeshifts back to normal, but she still has a skunk tail. "Oh my gosh! Lincoln! I am so sorry! Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, but what the hey was that?"

"I don't know! I don't know what came over me! I just got really mad and then I just….oh I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!"

"Guys, maybe we should talk to Lucy."

* * *

The kids are in Lucy's room. Lucy is looking through her book of abnormal creatures. "I've definitely seen this before. That was a were-skunk. Those who get sprayed by one will be cursed to turn into one themselves."

"Well do you have any ideas on how to get rid of the smell?" Lincoln asks.

"It's way different from a regular skunk. You could try taking a bath, or if that doesn't work, maybe hot tea will dehydrate you and draw some of the smell out."

"Really?! A bath? Hot tea? Is that all you got?!" Lana transforms into a ferocious monster again. "YOU THINK YOU'RE SO SMART, DON'T YOU?! 'OH LOOK AT ME! IM LUCY, AND MY LIFE IS SO DARK AND GLOOMY! LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU WITH MY DULL AND DRAB WORDS!' WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I THINK! I THINK YOUR POEMS ARE WORTH LESS THAN A SACK OF WOLF SCRAPINGS!" Lana then grabs Lucy's poem book and throws it against a wall. She then realizes what happens and turns back to normal again. "Oh no! What did I do?"

"What's wrong with you?" Lola asks her twin.

"I don't know! I couldn't control myself self! Oh my gosh! I'm sorry Lucy!"

"It's okay, I got more copies. But you better find a way to get rid of the smell, because once the transformation is complete, you'll never want to go back to normal."

* * *

Lana is in the bathroom taking a bath. Lincoln knocks on the door. "Sis, I looked all over the internet. We should probably try the hot tea idea if the bath doesn't work. Are you done? Did it work?"

The door opens and Lana steps out, but she still smells like the rear end of a skunk, so clearly, it didn't work. "I tried everything bro. I used the soap, the shampoo, the conditioner, the cologne, the perfume and the deodorant."

"I thought for sure the soap or the shampoo would work. Did you lather, rinse and repeat?"

"Yes I lathered, rinsed and repeated. I used the whole thing! WHAT, YOU DONT THINK I KNOW HOW TO TAKE A BATH?!" Lana transforms again and bashes Lincoln into a wall. She then turns back and feels regret. "Oh no! It happened again! Lincoln I'm sorry!"

"It's okay. Just take it easy, okay?"

"I'm really sorry."

"Look, maybe we should try the tea idea."

* * *

Lincoln and Lana are in the dining room. "Now Just relax, I'll be back before you know it." Lincoln goes to the kitchen where Lola is heating up her tea kettle. "How's the tea coming, Lola?"

"It's almost done, Linky."

Just then, Lori, Leni, Luna and Lynn come into the kitchen. "Hey guys."

"What are you two doing here?" Lori asks.

"And what is that rancid odor?" Lynn adds.

"Lana got sprayed by a were-skunk and we're trying to get rid of the stench."

"Then what are you heating the tea for?" Luna questions.

"We heard that it might cure her, but I'm not sure."

"Oh, poor sis," Leni says I'm despair. "I sure hope this works."

The girls and Lincoln bring the tea kettle to Lana and put it in a cup. She drinks it up. "I can't believe I just did that," she muttered.

"Did it work?"

Lana sniffs herself but the smell is still there. "No."

"Maybe you need to pour it on yourself?"

"Fine." Lana pours the tea on herself, but it's so hot, she screams in pain and flies out of her chair.

"Did it work?"

"No! It was just really hot!" Lola starts giggling at Lana's reaction and Lana starts to get furious. "You think this is funny!?" Lana changes again and grabs Lola by the dress. "I DON'T THINK ITS SO FUNNY! THIS IS MY EXPENSE YOUR LAUGHING AT!"

"Lana, stop!" Lincoln shouts. "STOP! This isn't you!"

Lana looks around the room and sees the Loud sisters shocked. She then looks at Lola and sees that she's frightened. "Lana, you're scaring me."

Lana then starts to feel really guilty. She puts her twin down and transforms back to normal. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." Lana's heart is full of regret and she immediately runs away with tears in her eyes.

"Lana wait!" Lincoln tries to stop her, but Lana goes up to her room and shuts the door.

* * *

Lana is sitting on her bed crying. Lincoln then opens the door and comes into her room. "Lana?"

"Go away!"

"Lana, what's the matter?"

"Just stay away from me."

"I just wanna talk to you."

"Lincoln, stay back! Please! Don't look at me! I'm a monster!"

"Lana, you're not a monster. You're my sister."

"But did you see what I just did?! That wasn't me! The real Lana would never want to hurt anyone! If I keep hurting the ones I love, I won't be like me ever again. I don't deserve to be a part of this family anymore." Lana curls up into a ball and starts crying. Lincoln goes up to comfort her.

"Lana, it's okay. I could never hate you forever. You're my sister and nothing's ever gonna change that."

"But what about—?"

"It doesn't matter. Look, we all know that wasn't you. None of this is your fault. You just lost control of yourself. But even if you were a monster, we'd still love you."

"You would?"

"Of course. But I know how much you wanna go back to being you. There's not much I can do but there is a way that you can do it."

"Me?"

"Lana, you're the only one who can get the curse off of you, but you're never gonna do it if you're in your room crying all alone. You're the queen of risks, and you're not afraid to do anything, no matter how dirty your hands can get. We believe in you. I believe in you. You can do this."

"I can?"

"You can."

Lana's confidence starts to return as she wipes the tears off her face. "You're right! I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna find a cure, even if it kills me! Thanks Lincoln!" With that, Lana runs right out the front door. All the other sisters peek out of their rooms.

"How the hey are you able to withstand that wretched stench?!" Lori says with surprise.

"Oh you know. She tends to smell like that all the time, so it's nothing I'm not used to. Also she keeps a pet skunk in her room." The skunk walks out of the twins room and all the sisters are disgusted.

"Okay, we literally need to talk about her crazy animal obsession." The others nod in agreement.

* * *

Lana goes out into the woods to go find the skunk. The smell causes plants to wilt and shrivel up. She then finds a small miniature house made out of a tree and knocks on the door. The skunk comes out. "Who is it!? Oh it's you! What brings you here?"

"You have to tell me how to get rid of the smell!"

"But why would I help you? I'm just a bushy tailed shrimp, remember?"

"But that was before I knew this was going to happen to me. I'm really sorry I called you that. Look, why don't you just tell me how to get the smell off and we can just let bygones be bygones?"

"Maybe we can, maybe we can't. The thing is, I sick of being disrespected. People always running away from you, catching you calling you names, and the worst part of it is, it's all aimed at me. But with you on my side, things won't be so bad. I won't be the only one getting the blatant disrespect. You'll be getting it too. We'll share it, like even-Steven. What do you say, cutie pie?"

"Cutie pie?" Lana starts to get really enraged. "Nobody calls me 'cutie pie'!" Lana transforms again and grabs the skunk by the tail. "NOW YOU LISTEN HERE, MISTER! I'M NOT JUST SOME LITTLE GIRL! I HAPPEN TO BE AN EXPERT MECHANIC, PLUMBER, HANDYMAN AND A CHAMPION ALLIGATOR WRESTLER! SO DON'T LET MY STATURE AND APPEAL LET YOU MISTAKE ME FOR A STEREOTYPE! SO EITHER YOU TELL ME HOW TO GET THE CURSE OFF OF ME OR YOU'RE GONNA WISH YOU NEVER HEARD THE NAME LANA LOUD!"

"It's coconut milk. But it's too late anyway. The transformation has already begun."

Lana puts the skunk down and runs for home. But as she's running, she starts growing skunk fur all over her body. She manages to make it back to the house and runs through the front door. She then dashes to the kitchen, opens the fridge and grabs the coconut milk. She opens the carton and pours it on herself, but it doesn't work. "It's not working! Why isn't it working?!" The skunk then appears right behind her.

"Come on, you honestly didn't think I'd tell what the real antidote was, did you. It's not coconut milk. I was just stalling you so you'd run out of time. But don't worry, once you're like me, you'll never want to be yourself again."

Lana's transformation continues and the skunk laughs at this. "That's far enough, skunk boy!" The skunk turns around to see Lincoln, Lucy and Lola standing right behind him. "We're here to take back our sister."

"Well you're too little, too late. She'll be my sister now."

"Lana!" Lincoln shouts. "We figured it out: tomato paste! The cure is tomato paste!"

Lana goes for the cabinet and finds a can of tomato paste. But the skunk knocks it out of her hands with his tail. Then a long battle breaks out between the Loud kids and the skunk. And the end of the fight, Lincoln, Lucy and Lola seemed to have been defeated. "You think you can stop me from sharing the pain with your sister? You're just like everyone else in this house. A simple nobody. You can't stop it. You can't stop anything."

"Maybe you're right. I can't stop it. But Lana can." Lincoln throws the can of tomato paste over to Lana. Lana's transformation is almost complete. "Split this."

"NOOOOOOOO!"

Lana smashes the can with her sledgehammer and it splatters tomato paste all over the kitchen. Lana is now back to her old self again. "No fur, no tail, and no stink! It worked! I'm my old self again! I'm free! I'm free!" Lincoln, Lola and Lucy then approach her. "Guys, I'm really sorry i tried to hurt you. Can you forgive me?"

"Of course." Lincoln tells her sister. "We knew you didn't mean it. We're just glad you're back to normal."

The other skunk reveals to be a human male. "Oh my head. Wait! I'm human again!" He then approaches Lana. "I can't thank you enough, little girl. You don't know how long I had to live with that wretched curse."

"Uh…..you're welcome?"

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go." The man leaves for the front door, leaving the Louds in the kitchen.

"He still counts as a skunk, right?" Lana asks her twin.

"Totally counts as a skunk," Lola replied.

Lana then fills out the bingo card. "Alright! Bingo! Wait until the BlueBells hear about this!"

* * *

 **Well, there's another chapter. And I must say, it took a little longer than I would've expected but it was worth it. Again I would like to thank connor1126 for giving me this idea. Now I know there's more dialogue in this that wasn't in the _Regular_ _Show_ episode, but that was to give it a little more originality and to add in more heart and soul in order to give it more emotion and feeling. Anyway, there's my first review request adaptation, and I can assure you that I'll have others done as soon as I can. Thank you and so long everybody.**


	8. Animanialand

**So I decided to have a little fun with this one. I not only took inspiration from the episode "Lynner Takes All", but this idea also came from a(n unknown) guest review. Whoever they were, they asked if I could do a scene based on the Gesundheit scene from the _Looney Tunes_ short Early to Bet. At first I thought it was going to be be a challenge, but after giving it some thought, I was finally able to come up with something, and thus, the chapter you see before you was created. So as you probably guess, I managed to add in that little scene if you can find it, and while you're at it, perhaps you can also spot some other references. And whoever the guest in question is, I would like to say thanks for giving me that suggestion. As for the other suggestions, don't worry, I'll see what I can do and try to fit in as many as I can. So once again, thank you, sit back, relax and enjoy Animanialand.**

* * *

The Louds are in the living room deciding on what game to play. Lori is reading the list. "Okay, the options for tonight's game night are: checkers, go fish, marbles, double dutch, tiddlywinks and (pauses for a minute) 'my butt' is not a game Lynn. That's just ridiculous."

"Looks like I win," Lynn laughs.

"Why don't we play Tied Up in Knots?" Leni suggests.

"Or how about Rat Catch?" Lana asks.

"I would like to suggest a word search," Lisa says.

"Alright everyone," Lori intervenes. "Let's take a vote." Lincoln lets out a yawn. "Yes Lincoln?"

"What?"

"Do you have a suggestion?"

"Well, we could play one of those games we usually play, or we could play a new one. And I have one I think you're gonna love. Behold Animanialand!" Lincoln holds up the box with the game in it.

"What is it?"

"It's an interactive game where you play as animals who go on an adventure. You also get to answer trivia questions and do extreme dares. Clyde told me about it. But I understand if you guys don't want to."

"Are you kidding bro?" Luna shouts in excitement. "It sounds awesome!"

"Yeah if it has animals in it, I'm in!" Lana adds.

"I'm in too!" Lola adds. "For the dares of course."

"So am I!" Luan intrudes.

"So we're all agreed?" Lori asks. All the sisters nod in agreement. "Very well then. Animanialand it is."

"Alright!" Lincoln shouts in victory.

* * *

The Louds head to the dining room to get the game set up. "Okay Lincoln," Lori asks. "How do we play?"

"It's quite simple really," Lincoln explains. "Basically we go on an adventure around the board playing as different birds. These are the players: baby bird, sporty bird, stylish bird, princess bird, messy bird, leader bird, musical bird, spooky bird, silly bird, smart bird and the last one, just plain bird. Now we each roll the dice to move around the board. For every move you make, you get a trivia question. You answer the question right, you get to move forward. But if you answer wrong or take too long, someone has to give you a dare, but if you fail to do it, you have to go all the way back to the start. Whoever gets to the end wins."

"That's it?"

"That's it. Now it's time for us to pick our players."

"I CALL DIBS ON PRINCESS!" Lola shouts.

"MESSY FOR ME!" Lana yells.

"I'M THE LEADER!" Lori says.

All the sisters choose the characters with their respective personalities until Lincoln is the only one left. "Oh, I guess I'll have to be just plain bird," he groans. "Alright, let's get started."

* * *

The game begins. Since the Louds decide to go from youngest to oldest, Lily is the first one. Someone rolls the dice and moves the piece for her. Lincoln then picks up a card and reads it. "Okay Lily, for 5 spaces, what sound does a cow make?"

"Moo!" She answers.

"Very good." Lincoln moves Lily's piece on the board. It is now Lisa's turn. Lisa rolls the dice and moves her piece. Lincoln picks up another card and reads it. "Alright Lisa. For 6 spaces, is Pluto a planet or a moon?"

"Simple. The answer is….well technically it is smaller than the earth's moon and it is solid like one, but then again it has been classified as a planet in the past years, so it only stands to reason that—." Before Lisa could answer, she is then cut off when she hears the sound of a timer going off.

"Sorry Lisa, you ran out of time."

"Dang it. Why couldn't I classify a gas giant? Like Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus—." Lisa gets cut off by Lana laughing. "And what might I ask is so funny?"

"Nothing. It's just that word makes me laugh."

"What word? Jupiter? Saturn? Uranus?"

Lana starts laughing again. "She said 'Uranus'!"

"There's nothing funny about Uranus." Lisa retorts, but Lana continues to laugh.

"Anyway Lisa," Lincoln interrupts. "You didn't answer so you get a dare."

"Oh! I got one!" Luan shouts. "I dare you to make a prank phone call."

"Seriously?" Lisa asks. Luan then nods her head. "In that case, I know just the victim."

The Louds are in the living room with Lisa making a prank call. The phone rings at Flip's Food and Fuel. Flip answers the phone. "Hello?"

"Yes hello?" Lisa asks. "I'm looking for a Mrs. Nimbecile, first name: Ima?"

"Hold on, I'll check," Flip answers. "Hey everybody! I'm an imbecile! You heard me! I'm an imbecile! Doesn't anybody see I'm an imbecile here?"

"YOU SURE ARE!" Luan shouts through the phone. All the Loud siblings are falling to the floor laughing uncontrollably.

"Listen you!" Flip is still on the phone "Whoever you are, I'm gonna find you and you're gonna pay!"

"Oh man!" Luan laughs. "He's still on the phone!"

"He's still on the phone?" Lincoln asks.

"HE'S STILL ON THE PHONE!" The Loud siblings continue laughing and finally hang up. "That was totally worth it," Lana says.

"Yeah, I always wanted to get back at Flip after everything he did to us," Lynn agrees.

"Indeed," Lisa concurs "that was quite invigorating. Shall we proceed with our game?"

"Yeah we should," Lincoln answers.

* * *

"Alright, Lola's turn. 'Literature: What is Dr. Seuss's REAL name?'"

"Are you kidding me? That's so easy. It's….Marco?"

"Wrong answer. It's Theodore. You got it wrong so you get a dare."

"OH! OH! ME! Pick me!" Lana raises her hand. "I've got a dare for her!"

"Okay Lana, go ahead."

"Alright Lola, I dare you to kiss a frog on the lips."

"WHAT!? NO WAY! NO WAY AM I DOING THAT!"

"You have to. You know the rules Lola. If you can't do the dare, you go back to the start. I understand if you wanna lose."

"ALRIGHT! FINE! I'll do it. But only to prove that Lola Loud is not a loser."

"OH HOPS!" Lana's pet frog Hops comes into the dining room and jumps into her arms. Lana then holds Hops close to Lola's face. Despite being hesitant, Lola kisses Hops on the lips and is immediately disgusted by it. Lana finds amusement in seeing that and starts laughing uncontrollably.

"You are so going to pay for that Lana."

* * *

It's now Lana's turn. Lola picks up a card and reads it to her. "Okay Lana, here's your question for 5 spaces. Think you got this?"

"Knock yourself out, sis. Lay it on me."

"Alrighty then. Nature: what is the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?"

"Are you kidding me? That's so easy. A crocodile has a U-shaped snout, while an alligator has a V-shaped snout. No wait! I messed up! It's the other way around!"

"Uh, uh, uh. You got it wrong. And for your dare, I dare you to dye your hair lavender for the rest of the game, and use my princess shampoo and hair spray."

"WHAT?! You gotta be kidding me! You know I hate that?"

"You know the rules. You don't do the dare, you lose."

"Fine." Lana goes upstairs muttering to herself. Moments later, she comes back with her cap off and her hair all sparkly and lavender with the scent of fresh flowers and an uptight look on her face. Her siblings try to hold in their laughter. "Not a word from any of you!"

* * *

Lucy's turn. Lana picks up a card and reads it. "Okay Lucy, here's your question. Literature: in Shakespeare's plays, all female roles were played by males. True or false?"

"False."

"Wrong."

"Sigh. What's your dare?"

"Lucy, I dare you to wear a princess gown."

"I'd rather go back to the start."

"Suit yourself." Lucy movers her piece all the way back to the start.

* * *

Now it's Lincoln's turn. Lynn reads him his question. "Alright Lincoln. Pop culture: name every Pixar movie in premiere order from 1995 to 2018."

"That's easy." Lincoln takes a deep breath and starts talking rapidly. " _Toy Story, A Bug's Life, Toy Story 2, Monsters Inc., Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, Cars, Ratatouille, WALL-E, Up, Toy Story 3, Cars 2, Brave, Monsters University, Inside Out, The Good Dinosaur, Finding Dory, Cars 3, Coco_ , and _Incredibles 2_ in that order."

All the sisters are left stunned and surprised by Lincoln's answer. "That's correct."

"Yes!" Lincoln moves his piece forward.

* * *

"Okay Lynn," Luan says, "Pop culture for 5 spaces: what are the names of the blue jay and raccoon from _Regular Show_?"

"Oh, I know this one! It's on the tip of my tongue!" Lynn wonders but unfortunately answers incorrectly. "Timon and Pumbaa?"

"Nope. Sorry. The answer is Mordecai and Rigby. You got it wrong so you get dare. I dare you to blow a giant bubble from bubble gum, while trying to hold in a sneeze WITHOUT popping the bubble."

"Aw what?! You gotta be kidding me!"

"You gotta do it or you lose."

"Fine!" Lynn takes out a piece of gum and starts chewing it. She then begins to blow a massive bubble. At first it seems easy, but then Luan takes out a pepper shaker and sprinkles pepper over her nose. The bubble gum then gets bigger and bigger while the rest of the siblings hide under the table. Lynn tries desperately to hold in the sneeze but she is unable to and finally the bubble pops and the gum is all over her face and hair. Luan pops up from under the table. "Gesundheit."

"OH! I HATE THAT!"

* * *

"Alright Luan," Lynn confronts. "Your turn. Safety: you are lost in the woods and you are faced with a rushing river. Should you: A) jump across the river, B) wait for a passing log, or C) Dance with a silly hat on?"

"If I had to choose, I'd go with C."

"Ha ha! Wrong! That wouldn't even make sense!"

"I don't care. That would totally be worth it. Okay, what's your dare?"

"I dare you to juggle 3 books while holding a cup of milk on your foot with a rake in your arm with a cake on it while balancing on a ball wearing a catsuit and a tall striped hat."

"Piece of cake." Luan leaves the kitchen and then returns in a catsuit with a tall striped hat, juggling 3 books with a rake in her arms with a cake on it, while balancing a cup of milk on one foot and using her other to balance on a ball. After a while, she begins to lose her balance and falls off with all the stuff falling on top of her. She gives a thumbs up to prove she's okay. "Still totally worth it."

* * *

"Okay Luna," Luan reads "here's your question. Music: name the most popular singing group in the world."

"Simple. The Beatles."

"Correct."

"Alright Leni, your turn." Luna reads the card. "Fashion: when was the _Doc Martens_ boot first made?"

"Oh that's easy. 1947 in Germany during world war 2 using soft leather and an air cushioned sole."

The others are left surprised. "That was oddly specific, but correct."

"Yay!" Leni moves her piece forward but it moves on a spot that has a picture of a bomb on it. "What does that mean?"

"Oh there's something I forgot to mention," Lincoln explains. "You see if you land on a spot that has a picture of a bomb on it, you have to do a dare or you go back to the start."

"And you're literally telling us this now?"

"What do you expect? With all the rules this game has, they're pretty hard to keep track of. Anyway, does anyone have a dare?"

"Oh I've got one!" Lynn shouts. "Leni, I dare you to walk over to Mr. Grouse's yard and roll around on his freshly…...cut…...lawn."

Leni did what she was told which makes their neighbor really miffed. He comes out the door and starts scolding her. "AND DON'T SAY YOUR SORRY!" Lynn shouts from the window. Leni is trying really hard to resist, but she is unable to.

"Sorry."

"BACK TO THE START WITH YOU!"

* * *

"Okay Lori," Lincoln reads. "Here's your question. Literature: name the popular franchise where 2 vampires fall in love with a human girl."

" _Twilight_."

"Correct."

The kids continue playing the game, asking questions and performing dares. It is now almost the end and all the players are on the third to last spot, in an 11-way tie.

"Okay, now what?" Lynn asks.

"I don't know, let me see the rules." Lincoln looks for the instructions and reads them. "Here we go. In the event that all players are tied, they must perform a dare where they all have to do something they hate most of all. Who ever is the last one standing is the winner."

"Let's do this!" They all say.

All the Loud siblings are in the living room doing their LEAST favorite things. Lincoln is reading comics with his polo and jeans on, Lucy is wearing nothing but bright colors, Luan tries not to play pranks on people, Lana is wearing a princess gown, Lola is rolling around in mud, Luna is listening to classical music and watching lip syncing videos on her laptop, Leni is wearing out of style fashion trends (such as socks with sandals), Lori is trying not to touch her phone and text, Lynn is trying not to exercise or do anything sports related, Lisa is reading a book for infants and Lily tries not to make a mess in her diaper. They continue this for almost 5 minutes until….. "I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANY LONGER!" They eventually go back to their own habits…..except for Lily.

"Her diaper's all clean." Lincoln checks. "She's the last one standing! That means…"

"LILY WINS!" The Loud siblings hold Lily up above their heads cheering for her. Afterwards they are all relieved that they finally finished the game.

"Well that sure was fun," Lincoln says. "Wanna play again?"

The girls think about it and say "sure, okay."

* * *

 **First off I would like to point something out. I know what it may sound like but NO I did not intend to make the title sound like Warner Brothers' _Animaniacs_. I was just trying to come up with a name for the Louds' game, so I decided to merge the words Animalmanialand together. I know it sounds similar but keep in mind it's a coincidence and not my intention (and yes, I knew _Animaniacs_ existed before I wrote this story). But I understand the confusion. Anyway, I had a lot of fun doing this chapter. The one thing I had trouble with was coming up with questions and dares for each of the characters, so when I needed inspiration, I decided to base the dares and trivia questions based on their personalities and dislikes. And as you may have noticed, some of the questions were based on some real life facts such as pop culture (Disney, Pixar, Twilight, Cartoon Network, etc.). Also, when coming up with the story, I decided to look back on shows like the _Regular Show_ episode But I Have a Receipt, The _Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends_ episode Bad Dare Day, and the _Arthur_ episode Best of the nest. Now I know what you're thinking, this came out a lot faster than you probably would've expected. Well the thing is, I wanted to get this idea out of the way before I forget, and seeing as how it's Independence Day in America, I figured what better day to do it than today? In all honesty, I kinda wish that other fanfics would take faster to update, but I know those other people are probably busy with their own things and I respect that. Now I plan to do a short about the aftermath for the next chapter, and after that, I'm not sure how long it'll take me but I do plan to take care of more review requests as soon as possible. And if you have any requests of your own, feel free to leave them in the reviews. Once again I wanna thank the guest reviewer (whoever they may be) for suggesting the bubble gum and the Gesundheit scene. And as always, stay tuned for more, and until then, so long everybody!**

 **And a happy Fourth of July!**


	9. Short 2: Animanialand Aftermath

**Hey guys! Here's the aftermath of the previous chapter Animanialand. Now I'd just like to say that the guest who suggested the Gesundheit scene pointed out that a lot of the chapter was based on _The Amazing World of Gumball_ episode The Game. While there are similarities to that episode, I did not intend to base the story off the episode, but looking back on it now I realized that it does have a similar plots, minus the surrealism. So if any of you also think the chapter has a similar plot, I'll take it as a compliment and I'll add that _Amazing World of Gumball_ (Ben Bocquelet/Cartoon Network) episode as an additional source of inspiration. With all that said, enjoy.**

* * *

The Louds have finished the second round of their game and are sitting on the couch laughing together. "What a great game," Lynn said.

"I know," Lincoln confirms. "It was even better the second time."

"Yeah it was pretty cool," Lana claimed. "Except for the part where Lola made me dye my hair."

"Well I only do that because you made me kiss your frog!" Lola yells. "Besides, I thought it looked pretty nice on you."

"You gotta admit, Lana," Lincoln says. "It was a pretty nice touch."

"Yeah, I guess my hair did look pretty funny. But not as funny as Lisa's prank phone call. I can't believe you got Flip to say he was an imbecile."

"Yeah," Lynn agrees. "You have no idea how long I've been wanting to hear him say that. Almost as funny as when Luan tried balancing on a ball in a catsuit."

"Yeah," Lola chimes in. "She looked just like the _Cat in the Hat_."

"I'd say it was a _purr_ -fect opportunity," Luan jokes. "Get it? But seriously, how come Lynn couldn't answer that question about _Regular Show_?"

"Hey!" Lynn shouts. "I can't help it if I forgot about that show."

"How could anyone forget Mordecai and Rigby?"

"I know!" Luna says. "Especially considering all those crazy adventures they go through every day."

"Yeah, I guess that does ring a bell," Lynn admits. "By the way Lincoln, how were you able to name all the Pixar movies in order?"

"Simple," he answered. "I've seen every one of them in order. Except for _Cars_ and _Brave_ but I still know when they came out. But what puzzles me is, how did Leni know where Doc Martens boots came from?"

"A true fashionista knows all stories behind any type of clothing." What Leni Just said leaves the rest of her siblings stunned and confused. "What? I may be ignorant, but I'm not an idiot."

"Well anyway," Lincoln says. "That's got to be the best game night we've ever had."

"You said it little bro," Lynn agreed. "We gotta to play that game again sometime."

"Yeah. Sure we could. So what do you guys wanna do now?"

"Charades?" Lana suggested.

"Yeah."


	10. The End of the Loud House?

**Now here's a little epilogue for a previous episode, _Brawl in the Family_. Now I honestly had my doubts about doing this, but I wanted to do my own version but still keeping the lighthearted tone. For this one, I decided to look at the plot of the _VeggieTales_ sing along video _The End Of Silliness_. And seeing as how Lincoln tends to break the fourth wall a lot, I thought it might be fun to see if the Loud siblings knew they had a tv show. If you like it, that's just swell, if you don't, that's fine, but rude or insulting comments will NOT be tolerated. And now I present to you, The Loud House Tales: The End of the Loud House.**

 **with guest stars Harvey Beaks, SpongeBob SquarePants, Timmy Turner, Danny Phantom and Jimmy Neutron.**

* * *

We join Lincoln Loud sitting alone in a diner on a rainy night. Harvey Beaks is behind the counter cleaning dishes. Lincoln is sitting alone in a booth with half empty glasses on the table. He starts crying and fidgeting uncontrollably and starts having flashbacks about the sister fight protocol. "No! No!" The flashbacks keep coming back and he starts fidgeting like crazy, almost to the point of having a meltdown. "No! Please! Don't hurt me! Go away! Out of my way! They're trying to get me!"

Harvey happens to hear all the commotion and starts to get concerned. "Hey. Hey little mister. You okay? Mister! Wake up mister! Mister!?" Lincoln keeps grunting and falls down to the floor fidgeting while holding his head in pain. Harvey gets worried and goes over to make sure he's okay. "Kid! Are you okay!?" Lincoln doesn't answer. "Okay, don't panic! I'll be right back." Harvey runs off and comes back with an ice pack and places it on Lincoln's head and Lincoln starts to calm down a bit. He helps Lincoln back into his seat. As Lincoln starts to wake up, his vision appears to be a little blurry. "Hello? You okay? Here let's clean you up." Harvey grabs a washcloth and starts cleaning his face. "You really had me worried there, buddy. You sure you're alright?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"Sorry but I don't believe we've met before. What's your name, anyway?"

"Lincoln. Lincoln Loud."

"Well then, nice to meet you. I'm Harvey. Harvey Beaks." Harvey holds out his hand for a handshake. Lincoln decides to return it. "So what are you doing here all alone?" Lincoln shrugs his shoulders. "Well, where do you live?"

"Who cares? I can't go back. Not now, not tomorrow, not ever again."

"Well, can I get you anything? A cheeseburger? Hot dog? A banana split? Or at least a milkshake?"

"No, I don't need anything."

"Well at least explain to me this: is there something bothering you?"

"Maybe. Why do you care anyway?"

"I'm just trying to be a good friend. If something's bugging you, I wanna help. So, do you wanna talk about it."

Lincoln spots a video machine with a tv screen. "Does that thing work?"

"That old thing? Oh yeah, it works great. Why?"

"Here." Lincoln hands Harvey a small DVD. "Put this in there." Harvey goes over to the machine. "It all started a while back when I was with this family, and….well I don't know! Things just sort of got out of control. And the worst part is that, I feel like it's all my fault." Harvey puts the disc in and the video plays, showing a scene from the _Brawl in the Family_ episode.

The video shows Lincoln coming into the house and seeing that the girls aren't fighting anymore. At first he didn't understand. Lisa then explains that Lincoln ended the fight by leaving the house. At first, Lincoln was relieved that everything was back to normal, but by complete accident, he ended up revealing some secrets that his sisters said behind each other's backs. Of course another fight escalated and Lincoln went to hide in his parents room.

The video ends. Harvey is behind the counter, pity laughing at the video until he sees Lincoln with a stern look on his face. "What? Do you think that's…...funny?"

"Well yeah, kinda. I mean no! No, no! Not at all. That's gotta be rough."

"Yeah. It wasn't even my fault. I didn't mean to say those things. They just slipped out of my mouth." Lincoln then lowered his head and slammed his fist into the table. "Why do I have to be such an idiot?!"

"Hey, hey, hey. Calm down. So you started a fight. It's not the end of the world."

"It is for me. My show got canceled because of it. And now, I have nothing."

"Wait! You had a tv show?"

"Yeah. _The Loud House_. One boy, ten girls, wouldn't trade it for the world. I had so many plans for it, saving frogs from dissection, having a barnyard sleepover, becoming a contestant on _Legends of the Hidden Temple_ with my dad, and that WRETCHED episode ruined it all! Moments that'll now, never happen." Lincoln starts to cry again.

"You know if it makes you feel any better, I used to have a show of my own."

"You did?"

"Yeah, it was named after me. Before me, there was this purple cat-bear-rabbit creature with a pointy hat. At first he wasn't to happy with me replacing him, but eventually, we learned to work it out. Although my show lasted way shorter than his."

"That's unfortunate."

"Yeah. But it's not the first time. It also happened to a friend of mine named Rudy and a robot named Jenny, along with her neighbors Brad and Tuck. Heck, it even happened to another guy I knew called Timmy Turner, and his show got canceled 5 times."

"5?!"

"Yep."

"Well, if you guys were so popular, why are you stuck working here?"

"After our shows ended, we had nowhere else to go. We needed ways to provide for our families. My friends went their separate ways, and I went mine. So now, here I am. Just a simple guy trying to make a living. But hey, all shows have to end eventually."

"I know, but that's not it. You don't know what it's like to be me. Sometimes I get nothing but mistreatment."

Harvey was left stunned. "Wow. I had no idea you felt that way." Just then, four mysterious men in fedoras and trench coats come in with a briefcase. "I'll be with you guys in a second." Harvey turns his attention back to Lincoln. "You know what buddy? I think what you need is a little cheering up. And I have just the thing." Harvey goes over to the machine and presses a few buttons. The screen shows a few music videos.

After a while, they were over, but Lincoln still felt miserable. "Yeah. Maybe I should just try to be grateful for the times I did have with the _Loud House._ Bye _Loud House_. Nice knowing you." Lincoln slams his head on the table and starts crying again.

"Okay. Maybe that song was a poor choice." Just then, 10 familiar girls walk in. "Can I help you girls?"

"As a matter of fact, you can," Lori says. "We're looking for our brother, Lincoln Loud?"

"You mean a young boy, about 5 feet tall, with white hair, a chipped tooth, and an orange polo?"

"You saw him?"

"He's over there." Harvey points to the table where Lincoln is sitting. The girls take a seat, but they see that Lincoln is not happy to see them.

"Hey bro." Luna greet him but Lincoln doesn't respond. "How you doing?" Still no response. "You still mad?"

"What do you think?"

"Okay, you're still mad. But it doesn't hurt to talk about it."

"I don't want to see you."

"Lincoln, we just wanna talk to you."

"Well I'm not in the mood to talk."

"Lincoln, please just listen to us."

"Just leave me alone!"

"Why are you acting like this?"

"Cuz you guys don't care about me anymore! So why should _I_ care about you!? Ever since you started your stupid protocol, our family's been torn apart! All it does is mess things up and ruins people's lives."

"We thought it was going to help."

"Stop pretending like it does anything but get me in trouble! Your stupid protocol doesn't fix anything! And now our show's canceled because of it!"

"Is that what this is all about? You're still upset that you made the fight even worse?"

"No! That's not the reason I'm mad. I _know_ I screw up sometimes. That's part of who I am. It's because you treated me like I don't even matter."

"Excuse me," Harvey intrudes. "Sorry for interrupting. It's probably not my business to say anything, but why are you guys so mad at each other? You want to tell me what's going on?"

" _We'll_ tell you what's going on." The for men in trench coats are revealed to be Spongebob SquarePants, Timmy Turner, Danny Phantom and Jimmy Neutron. Lincoln starts looking shocked then angry. Jimmy then walks over to the machine. "Perhaps this will clear things up." Jimmy looks at Lincoln angrily while Lincoln looks shocked, then Jimmy looks shocked while Lincoln looks angry, the two then make silly faces. Jimmy then looks angry again. He takes out a small disc and places it into the machine.

"Noooooooooooooooo!" Lincoln shouts in protest, but it's too late.

* * *

 _The video plays. The Loud House theme song plays to the point where the Loud siblings sit on the couch before getting interrupted._

 _"Just a minute! Wait! Stop the cartoon!" Jimmy Neutron steps in. "Excuse me, I have an announcement to make." Jimmy takes out a letter and reads it. "'Because of the high standards, and as a result of the disastrous outcome of a previous incident, management has decided to initiate a small hiatus until conflicts can be resolved as soon as possible. We apologize for any inconvenience at this time, but we assure that we are doing everything we can to make up for it.' Thank you." Jimmy walks off leaving the Louds alone and confused._

 _"So what are you saying?" Lincoln questions._

 _"I'm saying that the Loud House is cancelled until further notice."_

 _"OH YEAH?! WELL THEN WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO FOR THE REST OF THE PROGRAM?!"_

 _"I'm sure you'll figure something out."_

 _"Well that's unexpected," Lana said. "So Lincoln, wanna go out for smoothies? Lincoln?"_

 _"This is all your fault. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"_

 _"What are you talking about, bro?" Luna asked in surprise._

 _"If it wasn't for your stupid protocol, our show wouldn't be canceled! And now we've got nothing!"_

 _"Hey, don't blame everything on us," Lola intervened. "You're the one who made the fight even worse."_

 _"Well you're the ones who were arguing over the stupid dress in the first place! A dress?! Seriously?! And not only that, I haven't been able to anything I want because of you!"_

 _"What did we ever do to you?"_

 _"Need I remind you?" Lincoln pulls out remote control and rewinds back to the clips showing Lincoln not allowed to use the bathroom or the kitchen, and the girls taking his belongings without asking. After watching the clips, the girls start to feel (somewhat) guilty._

 _"Oh right. But come on, no one's perfect."_

 _"Excuses! Excuses! Excuses! How am i supposed to trust you guys when all you give me are EXCUSES?! When are you going to learn that your actions have consequences? Consequences that can affect other people! Like me. Don't you get it? You ruined my life! You guys may not care about other people's feelings, but I do. You didn't even stop to think about how I felt, and even when you did, you didn't even care. The show was all we had, and now it's gone. We're done, finished! We have nothing! You hear me?! Nothing! Now if you'll excuse me, I need to be alone. Not because I have to, but because I WANT to. I'm leaving now, and I don't know when you'll see me again." With that, Lincoln storms outside in a huff, slamming the door, leaving the girls feeling miserable._

* * *

The video ends, and after watching, Lincoln repeatedly bangs his head on the table while Harvey is left stunned and shocked. "So that's it, huh?"

"Yes!" Lana shouts. "It's our fault! All our fault! Not Lincoln's! We're the ones to blame!"

"That's despicable! I'd feel like that too if someone treated me that way."

"We know and we're sorry! We had no idea we were hurting our brother. We just got caught up in our own fight."

"Well that's no excuse! You girls act like you run the house and your brother was only trying to help. And you guys! How could you do something like this to Lincoln? The show was all they had, and you took it away from him?"

"We had no other choice!" Jimmy claims. "It was complete and utter chaos! Of all people, surely you could understand our position. We were simply looking out for the public's best interest. We do have reputations to maintain, you know." Harvey still looks scornfully. "Okay, I see your point."

The girls then walk over to their brother. "Lincoln," Lori says. "We're really sorry. You were right. It was stupid of us to fight over a dress like that. So are we good now?"

"Sorry guys," Lincoln says. "But it's gonna have to take _more_ than that for me to forgive you."

"Well what else do you want us to say?" Lynn asks. "We've been horrible sisters to you. You were only trying to help. You do so much for us, but all we've done is torment you. But we promise, if you come home with us, we'll make everything better. We'll give you all your stuff back and we'll try not to fight with each other so much."

"Yeah, I still don't think that's enough. I'm leaving." Lincoln starts to head out the door but Lana stops him.

"Lincoln wait! You can't go yet! I forgot I still owe you that favor."

"What favor?"

"You know. The one where you told me to destroy the sister fight protocol? I was just about to do it." Lana takes out a box of the protocol gear, and takes it behind the counter and places it on a stove top. "Hope there's no hard feelings." Lana turns on the stove and the box is set on fire and burns into ashes. "There we go. The sister fight protocol is no more. I know this doesn't make up for everything we did, but we just wanna prove to you that we're sorry, so that you can come back and we can be happy again. You don't have to forgive us, but you shouldn't forget us. We promise, we'll never do anything like this again. We just want our brother back. So what do you think?"

"You wanna know what I think?" The girls were still a little nervous about what Lincoln was gonna say. However, instead of being mad, he started to smile. "I think you should have done that from the beginning."

"So does that mean, we're good?"

"We're good….sisters." All the Louds join in for a group hug.

"Let me just say," Lisa announced "the sibling fight protocol: worst mistake we've ever made."

"I'll say," Timmy steps in. "Even bigger than all of Alvin Seville's mistakes put together. And he never learns anything."

"Hey!" Alvin Seville appears to be listening from a nearby seat. "I can hear you."

"Nobody cares," Timmy taunts in a singsong voice.

"Well that's part of the damage done," Lincoln says. "But we're still not getting our show back."

"Yeah about that," Jimmy interferes. "You see, not long after we canceled the show, we started getting these." Jimmy opens the briefcase, which is revealed to be a pile of documents. "They're results from a poll we did. As you can see, there was one option saying that Lincoln should have tried to stay out of the way, and another option saying that the girls shouldn't have been fighting to begin with and let Lincoln help anyway. Both of which are tied with 315 votes."

The Louds look discouraged.

"However, there was a third option."

"There is?" Lincoln asked. "What does it say?"

Jimmy reads it. "It states that Lincoln Loud and his sisters should forgive each other and forget the _Brawl in the Family_ incident and return to the _Loud House,_ and as an added bonus, the forgotten cartoon show known as _Harvey Beaks_ shall be givena second chance. Signed 1,028,512 adoring fans."

"They really did that?"

"Yep. Numbers don't lie."

"Wow. We're quite phenomenal."

"The people have spoken!" Spongebob announces. "I believe we have no choice but to hereby declare that _The Loud House_ and _Harvey Beaks_ are henceforth reinstated, effective immediately, which I guess is what henceforth means, but no matter, go on! Sing your heart out! Perform with all the craziness you could ever desire! This message goes out to all cartoon fans around the world! Let it be known that on this day, this is not the end of justice! Quite the contrary, a better and brighter future has just begun!" Spongebob finished his speech but then falls off the counter backwards. He gives a thumbs up to show he's okay.

"Just try not to go, _too_ crazy," Danny adds. "Please?"

Lincoln then looks to his sisters. "Okay, tell you what guys. I'll forgive you for the whole protocol incident if you forgive me for making things worse. I know I can't solve all your problems all the time, but to be honest, I don't wanna stay mad at you forever. So what do you say?"

"I say we just call it water under the bridge," Lucy said.

"Agreed," stated Lisa. "And we offer our sincerest apologies, dear brother."

"Yeah," Lana lamented. "We're sorry Lincoln."

"And I'm sorry too," Lincoln apologized as they all hugged each other in forgiveness.

Lincoln felt relieved that they finally got their show back. He then pulls out a little notebook and opens it. "What's that Lincoln?" Lola asks.

"It's just a bunch of stories I've been writing. If you want, I could read them to you."

"We'd like that very much."

* * *

 **Well, there's my epilogue. Hopefully this one turned out well.**

 **Now here's a couple more things I would like to point out. You see, the reason why I decided to add in other Nickelodeon characters was to give Lincoln someone to talk to about his problem and a few that would give him a reason to act the way he did, but also patch things up in the end. The reason I chose Harvey Beaks to be in the story was not only because he's a good kid with a kind heart, but because I also thought he got a bad reputation. In case you're confused, _Harvey Beaks_ wasn't given enough attention and immediately got canceled after just 1 1/2 seasons, and frankly, I felt that it was fair to give him a second chance to be recognized. (On a side note: some of the inspiration came from codywrasman's crossover fanfic _Lincoln and Harvey_ (one of my favorites by the way)). Now there is a chance I might have another crossover chapter like this in the near future.**

 **Anyway, don't worry. I know what the title says but this is NOT the end. I got way too much for it to end here. Now I'm not sure what to do for the end, but I'm sure I'll figure something out. Anyway, if you have any ideas for the end or any future chapters, I'd be happy to hear them.**

 **Stay tuned and so long everybody.**


	11. Lori’s Secret Passage

**Hey guys! It's me again. As mentioned before, the previous chapter was NOT meant to be the end. And I'm pretty sure Lincoln's notebook kinda foreshadowed that. So the stories are still going strong! And it is time once again that I take a look at a review request. Now this request came from crafordbrian17, and let me tell you: this person has been begging me to make his idea the next chapter. And I hate to let anyone down, so here it is.**

 **As always, I own nothing.**

* * *

Lori is busy sleeping when something in her bed kicks her in the face. She pulls out the covers to see who it was. "Lana. Let me guess: another bad dream?"

Lana continues sleeping and unknowingly kicks Lori off her bed. Lola barges right in with her hair all tangled up in knots. "Lori! I need help!" Lola gives her a hairbrush and Lori brushes her hair, but accidentally pulls too tight. "OW! Not so rough!"

"Lori I need some help," Leni asks. "Which dress looks better? Teal green or cyan blue?"

"Excuse me! Can't you see we're busy?"

"Well I need her advice!"

"Well _I_ was here first!"

While the two girls were busy arguing, Lori tries to sneak out of her bedroom. "Looks like today's gonna be one of those days." A toy hovercraft suddenly bumps into her face. "Lincoln! I thought I told you to keep your dumb hovercraft out of the way!"

"Oops. Sorry."

* * *

Later, Lori is in her room taking on the phone to Bobby. "So it's literally been like that all day Boo-Boo-Bear."

"Well babe," her boyfriend tells her. "Can you blame them? They are your siblings after all."

"No, you're right."

"You're right," said an unknown voice.

"So what do you have planned for today?"

"Well the season finale of _Dream_ _Boat_ comes on today."

"Oh!"

"Oh," the unknown voice replies.

"Wait, do you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"What?" Asked the unknown voice.

" _That_!"

The unknown voice turns out to be Lisa, talking on her own phone listening to their conversation. "What?"

"Argh! Gotta go, Bobby." Lori hangs up her phone. "LISA! I told you NOT to violate my privacy!"

"My apologies eldest sibling. But as you can see, I need observations for my conducted research."

"See that's the thing with you Lisa. You always use us as your guinea pigs, even if it means turning us into mutants or violating our privacy. You might as well read our diaries."

"You keep spelling 'interrogation' wrong." Lisa holds up Lori's diary on an open page. Lori is incredibly annoyed by this.

* * *

Later that day, Lori is in the living room sitting on the couch about to watch the TV. "Ah, finally. Some peace and quiet. I get to watch the season finale of _Dream Boat_ and nothing can ruin it." Right as she said that, her siblings barge through the front door with a mysterious device.

"Hey Lori!" Lincoln shouts. "You've got to see this!"

"Not now guys, I'm in the middle of something."

"It'll only take a second, really."

Lisa steps in. "I present to you the prototype for my intergalactic transmission device. This baby can transfer messages to other planets, galaxies, universes, dimensions and even the other side of the world without having to pay the price for long-distance phone calls."

"And check this out." Lana turns on the machine and it lets out a loud screeching sound. The sound is so loud that it causes a crack in the windows and tv screen. Lisa finally shuts the machine off and the sound stops.

"Lana, I thought I told you NOT to turn it on in the house!"

"Oh relax, Lisa. It's not like anyone got hurt. Besides Lori didn't mind. Right Lori? Lori?"

"THAT WAS THE SURPRISE ENDING! Now I have to watch the season finale all over again! It's not fair! I'm sick and tired of taking care of everybody and everything! I handle everything in this house and I don't even get a word of thanks, an ounce of help, or even a tiny little pinch of respect! I've had it with this crazy family!" Lori storms upstairs and slams her bedroom door. "Sometimes I wish I had a place where I could get away from it all."

* * *

The next day, Lori was busy taking care of the laundry in the basement. When suddenly she spots something glowing from behind the furnace. It was a small rainbow door that was 1 foot tall and 1 foot wide. Lori tries to go through the door, but her hair (being so thick and luscious) gets stuck in the door. "Dang it! Why was I cursed with such thick and luxurious hair?!"

Lori spent more than 5 minutes struggling to get through the door and finally succeeds. She then looks around and sees a crazy world unlike any other. "Either that door was magic, or I just bought myself a one way ticket to cloud cuckoo land." Just then, 3 miniature humans walk right up to her. One appears to be a female while the other two are males.

"Good day to you mysterious stranger," the female one greeted.

"Great! Just what I need! A bunch of little pests." Lori complains. "Well can you at least tell me who you are and where I am?"

"Oh, but of course. Allow us to introduce ourselves, I'm Una and this is Dos and Quatro."

"Isn't there supposed to be a Tres?"

"Shhhh! We do not speak of Tres."

"Why not?"

"Because we just don't! (He's kinda dead to us). Anyway, welcome to Teeny-tiny-miniopolis. And we are the teeny-tiny-minis."

"The toony-mighty-ninnies?"

"The teeny-tiny-minis. But you can just call us minis. And Teeny-tiny-miniopolis is a place of miniature creatures. A magical, fantastical world where people go to get away from it all."

"Get away from it all, you say?"

"Why yes. And you're just in time for breakfast. We've got plenty to eat."

"Well I don't know. I really should be going….."

"Oh come on. I insist."

"Well, maybe just a little bite."

* * *

Minutes later, Lori is seen at the buffet table looking quite stuffed. There are multiple empty cups and many plates full of crumbs. "You sure were hungry Lori," Una says. "You sure I can't interest you in a raspberry tart?"

"Oh no, I couldn't. Besides that stuff will go right to my hips."

"Suit yourself. By the way, I'd like to introduce you to the rest of the group," she said pointing to a fox, pheasant, robin and a bluejay. "This is Misty, Esther, Travis and Mordecai. We've been waiting here for someone like you, Lori."

"Someone like me?"

"Yep, wasn't quite the same."

"I didn't even know you guys existed."

"Of course we do. A lot of worlds exist. It's just that we tend to keep them hidden from your world."

"Really?"

"Yep. So what do you wanna do now?"

"Me?"

"Of course, in this world, you can do whatever you want."

"Well, you know what I really want? I want to see the season finale of my favorite show without being interrupted." Soon enough, a television pops up out of nowhere and plays.

* * *

"That was great! One of the best finales I've ever seen. You know, this day isn't going so bad. I wish it didn't have to end though."

"You know, you don't have to leave just yet. You could stay here for a while longer. If you want to."

"Really?"

"Sure."

All throughout the day, Lori had a lot of fun doing whatever she wanted. At first, she's having a great time, but later she starts to miss having her siblings around. Una comes in to find her sitting on a hillside in front of a sunset.

"What's the matter, Lori?" Una asked.

"I guess I just kinda miss my siblings. What's the point in having fun if there's no one to share it with?"

"Well if you miss them so much, why did you decide to come here then?"

"I don't know, I just got fed up with them and I just needed to get away from it all. But looking back on it now, all those mean things I said to them, I wish I could take it all back."

"Well, can you think of any good times you had with them?"

"Well there were those times I helped Leni make her dresses. And those times I would help Lola brush her hair, and then she would help me. I even remember when Lana would come into my bed when she couldn't sleep."

"What about your brother? Has _he_ done anything for you?"

"What _hasn't_ he done for me. There was a time when we were at the fair and he was hanging out with my boyfriend, but then he gave him back to me just so I could be happy. Then there was a time he got me a job and helped take my place so that I could go to the school dance. And finally there was a time when he taught us how to convince our parents to give us money so we could do our things, and then when they didn't have any left for him, we made it up to him by putting on a show with his favorite band. Those were literally the best moments anyone could ask for."

"Wow! You're brother has done so much for you."

"Yeah he has. You know, even if they _are_ annoying, they're still my family. I have to go back for them! Come on!"

"You got it Lori." Lori and Una, Dos and Quatro dash back to the door.

* * *

Back at the Loud House, the siblings are all sitting on the couch watching television. "So guys, what do you wanna do today?" The sole Loud brother asks.

"What's the point of doing anything?" Lucy lamented. "Without Lori around, there's no purpose."

"Come to think of it, I haven't seen her since yesterday."

"Well, I guess we _do_ ask her for too much," Lana realizes.

"And all she asked is for a little personal time," her twin sister adds.

Lincoln then gets an idea. "Well what if we _gave_ her that time? Think about it. We could do her chores for her so that way, she has time to relax and cool down."

"You know, as much as I hate to admit it," Lola says. "That's actually a great idea!"

"Then that's what we'll do, that is….if we ever _see_ Lori again." Just then, the Louds hear the sound of someone shouting for help. "Did you guys hear something?" They hear it again. Once they find out where it's coming from, they go down to the basement and look behind the furnace to see Lori with her hair stuck in a miniature door.

"Lori?" Lincoln asks. "Is that you?"

"Of course it's me! I need your help!"

"What are you doing in there?"

"I found the secret world beyond this door, and I was trying to get back to you guys but I got stuck."

"That's….it's impossible."

"Yes," Lisa agrees. "It is indeed."

"Don't worry, Lori! We'll get you out!" Lincoln and the others grab the legs and try to pull Lori out of the door, but it's no use. "This isn't working."

"What if we tried making her more slippery," Lana suggested. "Like butter."

"Way ahead of you guys." Luan pulls out a stick of butter.

"Um, Luan," Lynn asks. " _Why_ do you carry a stick of butter with you?"

"Uhhh….no reason."

"I don't even wanna know," Lincoln claims. The siblings all gather around Lori and cover her face and her hair in butter. They tried pulling again, but still nothing happened.

"Well that didn't work," Lana lamented.

"Of course is didn't work you greasy butter ball!" Lola yelled.

"Don't call me a butter ball!" The twins start fighting as usual.

"No that's what I call a butter _brawl_ ," Luan jokes. "Get it."

"Well a lot of good that did," Lori laments. "I'm still stuck and now my hair is all covered in butter."

"Lori, that's it!" Lincoln shouts. "Your hair! Maybe if we can cut some of it off, it might be enough to pull you out!"

"You know, as much as I dislike the idea, that might be crazy enough to work!"

"I'll go get the scissors!" Lynn runs out of the basement up the stairs and comes back with a pair of scissors. The siblings start cutting bits of Lori's hair piece by piece. They finally start pulling one last time. "Okay. And a one, and a two, and a three!" With that last, final tug, Lori finally popped out of the door and every one cheered.

"Thanks guys."

"Don't mention it," Lincoln replied. "But if I may ask, who are these guys?" Referring to the three miniature humans.

"Everybody, this is Una, Dos and Quatro."

"Isn't there supposed to be—?" Lucy is then cut off by Una.

"Don't say it!"

"These guys took care of me when I was in that world. See you guys later. Thanks for the pizza."

"They had pizza?" Lynn asked. The three little creatures then head back home and shut the door.

"Glad to have you back, Lori," Lincoln says. "Sorry about your hair though."

"Don't worry, it grows back fast. In the meantime, I can always wear one of these." She pulls out a bandanna-like scarf and puts it on her head.

"So, how was your 'you-time'?"

"It was okay, but not quite as good as us-time." All the Loud siblings gather together in a group hug.

* * *

The next day, Lori wakes up, and is surprised to hear peace and quiet. "That's strange." She then goes downstairs and sees her siblings are busy working around the house. "Guys?"

"Hey Lori."

"What's going on here?"

"Well you see," Lincoln explains. "We realized that you needed a little time for yourself, so we decided to take care of your chores for you."

"Aw, you guys didn't have to."

"We wanted to, Lori. You deserve it."

"Thanks guys." The kids go back to finishing their work. Lori decides to go back down to the basement and check out the door. She opens it and tries to go in, but ends up getting stuck again. "Dang it!"

* * *

 **Well there you have it. That was crafordbrian17's request. And let me tell you, you wouldn't believe how much this person _begged_ me to make this the next chapter. At first I wasn't sure how to write this story, but then it started to remind me of the episode Garage Banned. So I decided to make it similar to that while also adding in a few elements from the _Steven Universe_ episode _Rose's Room_ as well as the _Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends_ movie _Destination Imagination_. Despite a few extensions and changes, I hoped it turned out okay for what it is. **

**However, I would like to make an announcement. I appreciate the fan requests and I do appreciate the attention that it got, but here's the thing. It's okay to make suggestions and requests (as long as they're appropriate), but I've got a few ideas of my own that I want to use immediately before I forget (cuz I tend to forget easy). So feel free to leave your suggestions for me, but don't expect them to be made right away. I promise you I will look into them and do more in the future, but I cannot guarantee which chapter will be next. So I hope you can understand. Just be patient**

 **And just so you know, NO I haven't seen _Ferdinand_. The reviewer just suggested that I put in 3 miniature humans named Una, Dos and Quatro.**

 **Anyway, stay tuned for more stories. So long everybody!**


	12. Lana’s Squeaky Boots

**Hello. Before I start this story, I would just like to thank connor1126 for his review on _Chapter 10: The End of the Loud House?_ and for saying that I was the best writer ever. Well I don't know if I would call myself 'the best' (cuz there's a lot of writers that can do just as good as me, if not, better) but I do like being creative in more ways than one. Also, I would like to thank all of you for your appreciation and support. Your satisfaction makes writing these stories worth doing. So I'm glad that these stories have a chance to exist.**

 **With all that said, I would like to introduce you to my new chapter. Now for this one, I decided to do another adaptation based on the _Spongebob_ episode _Squeaky Boots_ with Lana as the main focus. Now I know that _Spongebob_ episode may not be the most favorite out of all of them, but it certainly is one of my favorites. Well anyway, I hope you all at least find this chapter pretty interesting, and enjoy.**

 ** _Spongebob SquarePants_ (Stephen Hillenburg), _The Loud House_ (Chris Savino)**

* * *

Lana is seen walking down the street next to a corner store with her allowance money. "There's got to be somewhere I can find a monkey wrench."

Just then, a man appears out of the corner store right in front of Lana. "Well hello there little girl. How are you doing today?"

"Well I'm—."

"Please, come in. Come in. Right this way. I'm sure I can help you find what you're looking for." The man lets Lana into the store and Lana sees that there's a multitude of things. "So what can I help you with?"

"Well you see, I really like fixing things. Things like pipes, car engines and I was wondering if you could—AAAHH!" Lana accidentally trips on something. She picked herself up and sees that she tripped on a pair of green rubber boots. "Alright! Who's the bozo head who left these stupid boots here?"

"I beg your pardon? These boots are the most expensive and prized possessions I have here."

"They just look like ordinary regular boots to me."

"Regular boots? For your information, these happen to be the only official handyman boots. They're certainly not regular, I guarantee you that. Only the greatest handymen of all time are permitted to wear these. In fact, these boots were given to me by the most famous handyman in the world."

"Who was it?"

"The name doesn't matter, but that person was famous. But I understand if you're wasting your time, so I'll just put these away and….."

"NO WAIT! I'll take them!"

"Okay, but it's gonna cost you."

"Here, you can have my allowance money. I was planning on saving it, but I guess I could part with it. Just please! I want those boots!" Lana hands the man her money and the two shake hands.

"A wise decision my tomboyish friend."

* * *

Back at the Loud House, Lincoln is sitting on the couch reading a comic, when he hears a weird squeaky sound. He looks in front of him and sees Lana wearing green rubber boots. "Hey Lincoln. Do you like my new boots?" Her brother doesn't respond. "Pretty cool huh? Now I'm an official handyman."

"Where did you get those?"

"I got them from a man down at a corner store."

"And just where is this man now?"

"I don't know, but wherever it was it must be a funny place, because after he took all my money, he walked away laughing."

"How'd you get the money to pay for them?"

"Oh, that was the money I was saving for a new monkey wrench."

"You mean you spent your hard earned allowance money on a pair of silly boots?"

They're not silly! They happened to be owned by the greatest handyman of all time!"

"Lana, I think you got ripped off."

"You're just jealous that I got something cool and you don't. Well I don't need to stay here and be insulted. I'm leaving!" Lana marches away. Her boots made a squeak with every step, starting to drive Lincoln crazy.

Lana is upstairs going to the bathroom. At the same time, Luna is practicing her guitar, but the squeaking is making her miss the notes. "Yo Lans! Keep it down! I can't hear my bass!"

"Sorry Luna, but the world's greatest handyman doesn't listen to complaints." Lana goes into the bathroom leaving Luna frustrated and confused.

Lana then walks over to her own room, while Lisa is busy conducting an experiment. All of a sudden, the squeaking disturbs her and her experiment exploded. "Do you mind elder sibling? I'm trying to conduct important research and I need absolute quiet!"

"Sorry Lis, but the world's greatest handyman doesn't listen to brainiacs." Lana goes into her room leaving the young genius flabbergasted and exasperated.

A few moments later, Lola runs out of her room screaming with her hands covering her ears.

"What's going on Lola?" Lynn asks.

"It's Lana. Her squeaking sounds kept interrupting my tea party, and when I told her to stop, she said 'the world's greatest handyman doesn't listen to crybabies'!"

"Can someone literally tell me what's going on?"

"Lana bought herself some boots from a man at a corner store," Lincoln explains, "and apparently she thinks they'll make her the greatest handyman that ever lived."

"Well that squeaking is driving us crazy!" Lynn argued.

"Relax guys. It's just a little squeaking. How bad can it be?"

* * *

That night, Lincoln is in his room trying to sleep. The problem was that he's unable due to an incessant squeaking sound coming not from Lana's boots, but from a hinge on his door. He tries to shut it, but it pops open again. He then goes downstairs and comes back with an oil can. Lincoln oils the hinges, but it doesn't take care of the squeaking and the door keeps opening. Lincoln finally gets fed up with it and pulls out a roll of duct tape and seals the door shut. However the duct tape gets stuck to Lincoln's hand. He tries to get it off but ends up getting wrapped in it. The tape on Lincoln's door also comes undone and the door moves back and forth constantly making the squeaking sound, and Lincoln is lying awake all wrapped up in his bed sheets and duct tape.

The next day, Lincoln and Clyde are seen walking home from school, with Lincoln looking quite drowsy. "You sure you're okay Lincoln?" His best friend asked. "You nearly fell asleep during most of the class."

"I'm fine Clyde. I just had a rough night. I just need a little nap."

"Okay buddy. See you later." Clyde leaves and Lincoln walks up to his house.

"Maybe I can get some peace and quiet at home."

Just then, Lincoln's sisters (sans Lana) barge out of the front door. "Alright! That's enough, Lincoln!" Lori scolds her brother. "Go in there right there and tell Lana to take her boots off!"

"I'm working on it."

"Well quit beating around the bush and just go tell her!" Lynn retaliated.

"Because we can't take the 'world's greatest handyman' anymore!" Lola shrieked. "Let me know when you're done."

With that, the rest of the girls leave the house and Lincoln walks in. "Sheesh! I knew that squeaking can drive someone nuts but this is crazy."

"Hey Lincoln."

Lincoln spots Lana at the top of the stairs with her boots still on and tools in each hand. "Hey Lana. Listen, there's something I-I-I-I-I-I-I…" Lana walks down the stairs, but every time her boots squeaked, Lincoln stuttered. "Come on Lana. You're still wearing the same boots today?"

"Are you kidding? I love them! I bet the world's greatest handyman couldn't do this." Lana runs in place really fast with tools in her hands. She then tosses the tools into the air and spins around. Once she stops spinning, she kneels down and catches the tools in each hand.

"Listen Lana, there's something I need to….."

"I bet they couldn't do this." Lana leans to her right side and places her hammer on the couch without moving her feet. "Or this." Lana leans towards her left side and places her wrench on the chair while keeping her feet in the same spot. She then climbs on top of the coffee table. "And check this out Lincoln." Lana moves her boots around as the squeaking makes it sound like they're taking. _"Can I help you mister?"_

"Lana, if you would just let me finish….."

 _"Sorry sir. We'll have to squeak with you later."_ "Could the world's greatest handyman do _that_ Lincoln?"

"Lana please…."

"And check this out, Lincoln. And this. And this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this….." Lana keeps on doing multiple tricks with her boots, and there's so much squeaking that Lincoln can't take it anymore. "AAAHH! I can't take this!" Lincoln runs up the stairs to his room and shuts the door while plugging his ears. "Come on! Get out of my head you wretched squeaking sound! Leave my ears alone!" Lincoln tries to drown out the sound by stomping his feet to the floor, but it doesn't work. "Something has to be done about this."

* * *

Minutes later, the siblings (sans Lana) are having a meeting in Lori's room. "Okay, I think it's perfectly clear why we're all in here. Obviously Lincoln failed to talk to Lana about her squeaking boots."

"Well sorry, but it's not as easy as it looks."

"Come on little bro," Lynn argues. "All you had to do was talk to her. How hard could that have been?"

"You wanna bet? Ever since she got those boots, Lana's gone ABSOLUTELY NUTS! IN FACT THAT SQUEAKING IS DRIVING ME NUTS! EVERY STEP, EVERY MOVEMENT THEY MAKE HAS TO END IN A SQUEAKING SOUND! DON'T YOU GET IT?! THAT CURSED SQUEAKING IS DRIVING ME OFF THE EDGE! IF I HAVE TO HEAR THAT WRETCHED SOUND ONE MORE TIME, I THINK I'M GONNA EXPLODE!" Lincoln's face turns red as he clutches his head in pain, leaving his sisters worried and scared.

"Woah, woah, woah. Easy. Easy there little bro." Lynn consoles. "Get a hold of yourself. Now, let's just take a moment here to calm down a bit."

Lincoln is still struggling, but then he sees Luna and Leni gently rubbing his shoulders. "Shhhhh…There, there bro. It's okay. Take it easy. Just breathe slowly." Lincoln takes a deep breath to try to calm himself down. He takes one more and he is finally at peace. "See, there you go. Now do you feel better?"

"A little. That kinda felt nice. Sorry I went so out of control guys."

"That's okay," Leni reassures. "We all know how you feel."

"Yeah," Lynn agrees. "Every time I hear that squeaking, all my soccer balls end up hitting a window."

"I haven't been able to finish my poetry in peace," Lucy adds.

"Not to mention that her squeaking is keeping up all night," Lola includes. "I haven't slept in days."

"Lisa, how long till you get that sound vacuum to work?" Lori asks.

"Well judging by the efficiency, effectiveness and the frequency range of a 50 mile radius," the young genius replied. "I'd say approximately 4-5 months."

"45 months?"

"No, _4-5_ months."

"Well then we only have one other option," Lincoln suggested. "One of us will have to go into Lana's room and take her boots from her."

"DIBS NOT IT!" The sisters all touch their noses and once again, Lincoln is the last one out.

"Dang it! Why does it always have to be me?"

"Because you're the one complaining about it so much," Lynn responds.

"Fine. But when I'm done, you girls owe me big time."

That night, everyone is getting ready for bed. "You know, Hops? These boots have changed my life. I'm never taking them off." Hops just plugs up his ears and goes to sleep. "Goodnight buddy." Lana gets into her bed with her boots on. But unknown to her, a mysterious figure sneaks into her room, takes the boots off her feet and runs off.

* * *

The next morning, Lana wakes up only to find that her boots are gone. "AAAAAHHH! Where are they!? They've got to be somewhere!" Lana looks all over the house for her boots, but she can't find them anywhere. "That's it. They're gone. Now I'm useless, I'm average, I'm nothing."

Throughout the whole day, Lana kept thinking about what happened that sho couldn't concentrate on anything. During breakfast, school, recess, even when she was trying to fix the pipes in the bathroom, she still kept her dull attitude.

"Well, what's done is done." Lincoln is about to go into the living room, when he starts to feel a pain in his heart. "But, why do I feel so guilty?"

"Ah, that's probably nothing bro," Luna says.

Lincoln and the others then hear someone crying. They look on the living room couch and find out that it's Lana. "That's it! My career as a handyman is over. I'll never fix anything again." She starts crying and it makes her brother feel guilty even more.

"Dang. That's why I feel so rotten. I took something that meant a lot to her and now she's got a broken heart."

"What are you talking about? Isn't that what you wanted?"

"I never wanted to be mean. I just wanted some peace and quiet. Oh man, what have I done? I gotta fix this." Lincoln goes over to the living room couch to talk to his sister. "Lana?"

"Go away Lincoln. I don't want you to see me cry."

"Come on sis, I've seen you cry like a thousand times. You cry when you break your arm, you cry when we run out of Mac n cheese, you even cry when you're trying to put pipes together even though you don't have the right tool for the job and you end up getting the pieces mixed up."

"Well, I didn't want you to see me cry this time."

"Lana, look, I know you're upset about losing your boots, but look on the bright side. At least you still have your sneakers."

"Yeah I know, but my sneakers just aren't the same."

"Listen sis, there's something I gotta tell you. I'm the one who took your boots."

"WHAT?!"

"I had no other choice!"

"Lincoln! Why would you do that?!"

"Because all that loud squeaking was driving me nuts!"

"Well why didn't you tell me?!"

"I tried!"

"No you didn't!"

"Yes I did! I was trying to tell you, but you were too busy having fun with them that you wouldn't listen to anything!"

"Oh. I guess I did get carried away. I'm sorry Lincoln. I didn't mean to ignore you. I just wanted to be the greatest handyman there ever was."

"But Lana, you already are the greatest handyman we've ever known."

"I know, but I wanted to be more than that. And the guy told me that those boots were worn by the greatest handyman of all time."

"Lana, listen to me. You're talents don't come from what you wear on your feet. It's not the footwear that matters, it's the person who wears them. You were the greatest handyman we've ever had even before you had those boots."

"You really think so?"

"Of course."

"Thanks Lincoln. You're the best. But still, I wish I could've worn them one last time."

"Well in that case, I guess you'll be wanting these back." Lincoln pulls out the boots from behind him and Lana hugs them tightly.

"My boots! But how? I thought they were gone for good."

"I never said I got rid of them. While you were sleeping, I hid them under the floorboard."

"And you're giving them back to me?"

"You bought them, you keep them."

"Thanks Lincoln. And I promise, I'll try not to annoy you guys so much." With that, Lana kicks off her sneakers and hops right into her boots. "Oh yeah! That feels good. Did you miss me, guys?" Lana moves her boots around and the squeaking makes it sound like they're saying " _Oh yes Lana. We_ _missed you very much_." "Aw, I missed you guys too. Come on, let's go fetch ourselves a snack." Lana runs off feeling very happy.

"You gotta admit, that is pretty cute," Lincoln chuckled to the viewers.

* * *

That night, all the Louds get ready for sleep. Lana takes her boots into her bed and talks to the viewers. "Well, I learned two very important things today. One is that your talent doesn't come from the type of shoes you wear. And two is….."

"LANA! QUIET!" Her twin sister Lola screamed at the top of her lungs.

"...if you're boots happen to make noise while you're sleeping, tell your roommate to wear earplugs. Goodnight everyone."

* * *

 **Well, hope you all enjoyed that. And just so you know, if you recall back to _chapter 4: I could've slept all day_ , then you might remember a running gag about Lana's boots making a squeaking noise. So you might consider this a prequel to that chapter. Anyway, not to worry, I have more fan requests I plan on doing, along with a few ideas of my own, as well as a couple crossover chapters with other Nickelodeon characters. So stay tuned, and until then, So long everybody!**


	13. Brain Smarts

**Hey guys! I'm back and it is time once again that we take a look at another Fanfic request. Now here's another one from connor1126. Now I know I've done some of his before but I haven't forgotten about the others. I'll get to the others whenever I can, so no hard feelings. I just have a couple more from connor1126 and as soon as I get those out of the way, I'll get to work on the others. Maybe even work on a few simultaneously. With all that said, here's another request based on the _Regular Show_ episode More Smarter. Enjoy.**

 ** _Regular Show_ (JG Quintel/Cartoon Network), _The Loud House_ (Chris Savino/Nickelodeon)**

* * *

Lincoln and Lisa are in the dining room and Lincoln is demonstrating something. "You're probably wondering why I called you here today."

"Not exactly."

"Well I'll tell you anyway. You see all the famous dishes named after famous people. Pommes Anna, Eggs Benedict, Fettuccine Alfredo. Well I will now show you what dish is going to make me famous. Just take a dash of sugar, a carton of milk, some fried eggs, some of dad's leftover meat, some Zombie Bran Cereal and everything else." Lincoln throws a bunch of random stuff together while Lisa looks disgusted. "Lisa Loud, I present to you, The Lincoln."

"That's disgusting. I don't think you should eat that."

"Oh please, what harm could it do?" Lincoln takes a bite out of the food, but it makes him gag. He goes to the kitchen to throw up, and then comes back. "Well, it could use some salt, but still pretty good."

"I tried to warn you."

"Ugh! Why do you do this Lisa? Why do you have to act like such a low brow smarty pants all the time?"

"Because I care about the safety and well-being of my family members."

"Oh really? Then why are there always explosions in your room?"

A montage of flashbacks show the explosions that have occurred in Lisa's room in the past.

"Well at least _I_ don't do it on purpose!"

"Whatever, all I know is you don't have to know everything to do everything."

Just then, Lana comes in with her tool belt. "Hey guys, listen I need your help. You know those six little turtles I found a few days ago? Well I'm trying to build a case to put them in. Assuming that each turtle needs 9 square feet of space, I need you guys to figure out the minimum number of 9 ft planks to use for construction." The words circle around Lincoln's mind as he starts losing feeling in his legs and his vision starts getting blurred. He then starts to fall backwards but Lisa catches him. "What's going on with Lincoln?"

"He always gets this way when he hears or sees something woodworking-related. Also your situation seems a bit complicated for him."

"Oh okay. I guess I'll come back later." Lana leaves and Lincoln wakes up. But as soon as he does, he gets a ringing in his ears and plugs them up with his hands.

Luna and Lynn then enter the dining room. "Come back for what?" Luna asked.

"And what's going on with Lincoln?" Lynn questioned.

"It's a side effect whenever something involves woodworking."

"Ugh! Dang it, Lisa! You don't have to rub it in! Just because I wasn't able to solve a simple math problem doesn't mean you're more smarter or better at stuff than I am."

"Did you just say ' _smarter_ '?" Luna questioned.

"What? I don't know. Maybe."

"Bro, it's 'more _smart_ '," Lynn corrects. "Not 'more _smarter_ '. That's not even a real word."

"Oh! Whatever! So my grammar's not 100% perfect, big deal! I bet I can become just as smart as you and everyone else in this house!"

"I would highly recommend you not to do that," Lisa warns. "Our family bond would fall apart if there's another genius."

"What are you talking about? We're the same amount of smart as each other."

"No we're not. You're the helper, and I'm the brain. One is a genius, the other's just plain."

"Oh yeah? Well I could become smarter than you if I wanted to! I'll show you! You'll see! You'll all see!" Lincoln storms off in a huff.

* * *

Lincoln is heading to the bathroom and sees a pipe in the sink that's about to burst. "No problem. If Lana can do this, I should be able to." Lincoln tries to fix it, but ends up screwing it up (no pun intended) which floods the bathroom. "How does she do it?" Just then Lana steps into the bathroom to see that it's flooded.

"Lincoln! What did you do?"

"I was just trying to—."

"No, please. Don't tell me. I don't care. Look, just stay back. I'll do it myself. You go do something else."

"Sorry." Lincoln starts to leave with a sad kind of look. He then spots Luna's room and goes inside. "Maybe I'm cut out to be a musician."

Lincoln is talking with Luna. "Of course you can try, dude. Now let's see if you have any talent." Lincoln grabs a sousaphone and starts playing it horribly. Luna then takes it away and moves him to another instrument. "Maybe you want to try the piano." Lincoln just plays four notes up and down repeatedly, but then starts to get really bored and falls asleep.

Lincoln is now in Lucy's room listening to her poem.

" _Intelligence, what is it?_

 _An unknown force we can not control?_

 _Or is it a black hole_

 _For a person's soul?"_

 _Or is just something_

 _Inside the mind_

 _That tends to dominate_

 _All mankind?_ "

"You know what Lucy? I think I'm gonna take a pass on this idea." With that, Lincoln runs straight out of the room.

"Sigh. Why do they always run away?"

* * *

Lincoln is pacing around in the hallway, thinking to himself. "Come on Lincoln, think! There's gotta be something I can do to prove I'm smarter." He then hears a commotion going on downstairs. He goes down and sees that his dad is struggling with the computer.

"Ah! Dang computer! How am I ever gonna fix this!?"

"I can fix it Dad."

"Are you sure, son? I mean it seems a bit complicated for you. Maybe I should have Lisa—."

"NO! I mean, I can handle it myself. No problem."

"Well okay. I'll leave you to it then." The father then leaves, leaving the sole Loud brother alone. He tries hard to fix the computer and finds out that it's a lot tougher than it looks. After a while, he finally gives up and laments on the couch.

"Ah! This is hopeless! That's it! I give up! I can't do it! Maybe Lisa's right, I'm just not smart enough."

He then hears the announcer on the television. " _Are you tired of not being smart enough?_ "

"Yes. Wait a minute! Yes!"

" _Do people treat you like an outcast of the family? Well if you wanna get smart fast but hate long boring lectures, then you need the deluxe Brain Enhancer. Order now and you get same day delivery_."

Lincoln takes out the phone to make a call, but immediately hears a knock at the door, and sees that it's the package. "Huh, Nice service. Here, take my money." Lincoln hands the money to the postman and takes the package inside. As soon as he opens it, he reads the instructions on the bottle. "'Take one tablespoon a day. Do not take if nauseous or under pressure. Will see results in 30-40 days?!' Whatever, I'll just take a month's worth of dosage. I mean it doesn't say not to." Lincoln drinks most of the bottle, but unknown to him, the instructions say 'use only as directed'. Lincoln then clutches his head in pain as a ton of knowledge goes to his brain. He then gets up and looks at the computer. "I know how to do this now! In fact, I know how to do _everything_."

* * *

Lincoln is now in the living room sitting on the couch with a crossword puzzle in his hands. Lisa then comes in. "You know if you want some help with that crossword, I'd be glad to give you a lecture. That is if you're willing to sit through it."

"Very amusing Lisa. While I have you here in my presence, perhaps you can assist me in this crossword. Tell me, what's an 8-letter word for idiot?"

"Why are you talking like that?"

"I've tried imbecile, bonehead, peabrain. Oh wait! I got it: Lisa Loud."

" _You're_ the idiot, you…." Lisa counts on her fingers to see how many letters the word has before she says it. "...dumbbell!"

"I'm afraid that while dumbbell fits, it's simply too stupid for this puzzle. Oh, by the way, I also fixed the computer all by myself, and it works even better than before."

"Wha—? How did you?"

"Face it Lisa, I'm the smartest one now." Lincoln takes another drink of the Brain Enhancer.

"What are you drinking? Gimme that!" Lisa takes the bottle from Lincoln. " _Brain Enhancer_?"

"Give that back!" Lincoln tries to snatch the bottle back but Lisa takes a drink and her brain starts hurting.

"First of all, I would like to contradict your earlier theory." Lisa pulls out her chalkboard and writes an equation. "As you can see, this theory proves that it is you who are more stupid than me."

Lincoln takes a drink and then grabs his presentation board. "Quite the contrary, dear sister, according to my counter theory, it is you who are dumber than me."

"Tsk tsk. Just wait until you see my 20 page report backing up my theory."

"Tsk tsk. I'm gonna write a _25_ page report backing up _my_ theory and prove you're wrong."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah!"

* * *

A montage begins of Lincoln and Lisa writing equations all over the walls trying to prove each other's theories. They are now seen floating in a room with more knowledge going to their heads. "In closing, your theories have failed to prove that you are the smarter genius. For your brain is no bigger than a flea."

"Very funny Lisa, but your theory is flawed because your brain is nothing more than a goo-filled slime ball."

"Well there's still one indisputable truth. You don't know how to fix a sink pipe even though we have a six year old sister who does. So I am the smartest genius in the house, you nitwit!" The word nitwit hits Lincoln hard and removes the background from the Loud House.

"Aaahh! I am not a nitwit!" Lincoln goes over to the bathroom sink. "If fixing a pipe will prove I'm smart, then so be it!" Lincoln picks up the instructions pamphlet but sees that it's now scribbles. "I can't read it!"

"Probably because you're still too stupid. Wait what? What kind of mumbo-jumbo is this?!"

"Lincoln, Lisa?!" Lori comes into the bathroom with Leni, Luna and Lucy. "What is the meaning of this?! You two better get this mess cleaned up, or you're going to be in so much…."

"What are they saying?" Lincoln and Lisa can't understand what their sister is saying and see her, Leni,Luna and Lucy as primitive primates. "Oh no!" Lincoln says with surprise. "I think we're so smart, their stupid to us!"

Back in the real world, Lincoln and Lisa are arguing, but the rest of the girls hear them talking in a different language (Latin). " _Magna! Videamus quid fecisti? Haec omnis culpa tua!"_ (Great! Now look what you've done! This is all your fault!) Lisa argues with her brother.

" _Mea culpa? Doctrina stultorum got nos in hoc pulmentum tuum, qui fuit!_ " (My fault? It was your stupid theory that got us into this mess!)

" _Et mea doctrina non est ex nobis unus et alter ingenio ad insaniam convertunt!_ " (And my theory would've made one of us a genius and the other insane!)

"Well if you hadn't made fun of me so much, none of this would've happened!"

"Whatever! You're too smart for your own good sometimes! So what's the point?"

"You're right! There is no point anymore. What's the point of being so smart that you can't understand people around you? We've got to get back to normal."

"How?"

"Remember that dish I made this morning?"

"To the kitchen!" The two siblings make their way to the kitchen where Lynn and Lana are (both in their primitive forms). The 'Lincoln' dish is still on the table.

"It's still there!"

"As they say, bottoms up."

"Wait! If I eat this, there's no going back. Which means, I'll never be a genius again."

"Lincoln, trust me. You don't want to be a genius. Geniuses never get a break. It's too stressful and people never leave you alone. You think I like being a resident genius? I never get time for myself."

"I know, but if I go back, you guys will never stop making fun of me."

"Look dear brother, as much as I can guarantee that that might be a long shot, I have something to confess. The truth is, the reason I tend to mock you is because I'm rather jealous of you."

"Wait! You're jealous of _me_? Why?"

"You have a lot of free time on your hands. Playing mindless games, hanging out with friends, even going out whenever you feel like it. But me, all I do is tutor and assist in medicine. I appreciate that I get to make groundbreaking discoveries, but every now and then, I wish I could live a normal life."

"Oh, well gee. Sorry Lisa. I guess I never thought you'd feel that way."

"I may be a prodigy, but even prodigies have feelings too. Tell you what, if you show me how to live the life of an average child, I promise not to mock you anymore. Deal?"

"Deal." The kids then eat the dish and are transported back to the real world where the other sisters are. "Ow. What happened?"

"I'll tell you what happened," Lynn said. "Lana and me were practicing for a pie eating contest, when you two came in speaking a different language."

"Than you ate that rancid food," Lana said. "And let me tell you. That stuff is so messed up that even yours truly, Lana Loud wouldn't eat it."

"Okay guys," Lori intervened. "What's been going on with you two?"

"I suppose I might as well get this over with." Lisa is about to explain what happened, but Lincoln stops her.

"No Lisa. Let me handle this. Guys, it's _my_ fault. I got into a fight with Lisa over who's the smartest in the family, but I guess I got a little carried away. I just wanted to be smart like the rest of you."

"Is that what's been bothering you this whole time?" Lori asked. Lincoln nods.

"Lincoln," Leni steps in. "You don't need to be a genius. We love you just the way you are."

"Yeah," Luan agrees. "Besides, you're already smart in your own way."

"I am?"

"Sure you are," Lynn answered. "I mean there's no one else who knows how to create plans, break up fights, or solve problems the way you do. You shouldn't change that. You know, we kinda thought _you_ were the smart one."

" _Me_?"

"Well yeah. Whenever we try to fix our problems, we end up doing things our way. You're the only one out of all of us who knows what everyone wants or needs. That's what makes you great at solving problems. And that makes you, you."

"You see Lincoln?" Lana steps in. "We may not know everything, but we have a lot of knowledge about our own interests. That's what makes us smart in our own ways. Leni's a fashion expert, Luna knows a ton about music, I know a lot about repairs and automobiles, and you're the best at….."

"...being me. I'm the best at being me! Thanks guys. I feel a lot better now."

"Well that's good," Lori says. "But Mom and Dad are going to blow their tops when they see this mess."

"I'll get the sponge," Lisa answered.

"I'll help you Lisa."

Lincoln and Lisa are busy cleaning the writing off the walls while the rest of the sisters leave. However, Lana notices the dish sitting on the floor and takes a bite out of it. "Huh, that's actually not bad. You know, add a little paprika and you've got yourself a dish," she said to the audience.


	14. Short 3: what have we learned

**Based on a _Garfield_ short **

Like any normal day in the Loud house, the twins Lola and Lana were on the couch watching cartoons.

It wasn't long before their little genius sister came in. "What might I ask are you two doing?"

"What does it _look_ like we're doing?" Lola asked. "We're watching television."

"It's the only thing we could think of to do," Lana shrugs.

Lisa just shook her head slowly. "Typical. Just lounging around watching this mindless dreck. Whatever happened to relaxing with a good book?"

Lola rolls here eyes. "Reading is boring."

"Only because _you_ think it is," Lana argues.

"Regardless of whether you want to read or not, you two should really learn something new every day. It'll add purpose to this dreary existence of yours. Now if you'll excuse me, I have important matters to attend to." Lisa heads for the stairs. "But when I get back, I expect you to have learned something."

Some time passes by and Lisa came back to the living room.

"Lola. Lana. I'm back. What did you learn while I was gone?"

But when she looked towards the couch, she was shocked. The room was full of merchandise that was bought off the tv, and the twins were each relaxing in their own sun chairs drinking a soda.

"Well for one thing," Lana said. "We learned how to use dad's credit card."


	15. Short 4: Rita Finds Out

**So here's a continuation of the previous chapter, Lori's Secret Passage. Now I got a couple of requests like these from crafordbrian17 to do these. Now I know they might seem a bit similar but believe me, I thought the same thing. But who am I to disappoint people? However, considering that both stories involve only one _Loud House_ character, the best that I can do is make these stories into shorts. And don't criticize too much if some of this stuff seems a bit strange and bizarre. They're just details the reviewer asked me to include (so don't ask _me_ why they are in there). So anyway, here's the first one, Rita Finds Out.**

Rita is in the basement cleaning out the furnace, but the dust from the coal makes her cough and wheeze. "When are they ever gonna invent a self cleaning furnace?" She complains. As she continues, she noticed a mysterious glow coming from behind it. She looks over to find a miniature rainbow door. "This must be the door Lori was talking about the other day. But why is it so little?" In a state of curiosity, Rita decides to check it out for herself. However, she ended up getting stuck in the doorway in the process. But after a bit of wiggling, she finally managed to get unstuck. Once she took a glimpse of what she saw, she could scarcely believe her eyes. "I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen it myself."

"Hello." Rita heard a little voice. She looks down to her feet and sees the 3 miniature humans, Una, Dos and Quatro. "Who are you?"

"I wanna just about to ask you the same thing."

"Yeah, but we asked you first."

"Well in that case, I'm Rita. Rita Loud. And you are?"

"We are the teeny-tiny-minis of Teeny-Tiny-Miniopolis. I'm Una and this is Dos and Quatro. And before you ask, we do not speak of Tres."

"Wow! Lori was right. You guys are real."

"Of course we are. And you look like you could use a load off. Come with us and we'll talk."

The minis take Rita to a cafe where they lay out a huge banquet. While in the cafe, she decides to make conversation with the minis. "So it's true. You guys really do exist."

"And you thought we didn't?"

"It's not that. It's just sometimes I have a little trouble believing these kids' stories. Most of the time I see them talking to an empty void almost like there's somebody there."

"Well you know, just because you've never seen anything like this before doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I mean, of course other worlds like this exist. It's just that we don't usually do things like this in front of other people. In fact it's never really been done before. But the thing is, sometimes we wish we had someone to talk to besides ourselves."

"Well, if you want, you can come to our house and hang with us."

"Oh no! We couldn't possibly. I mean we're so small and your world is so big. Plus we don't want to get caught by the FBI."

"Don't worry. It's no trouble at all. You're free to come by and visit whenever you want to. And we'll keep it our little secret."

"Well if you insist."

"Speaking of which, my family's going to arrive home any minute. I better get back." Rita runs to the door to get back home, but she managed to get stuck once again. "Agh!! A little help here guys?"

"Oh, sure thing." As Rita is wiggling and struggling to get out of the doorway, Una, Dos and Quatro are trying to push her out, but start to slip in the process. But they still continue. "So, does this tend to happen a lot?"

"Frankly, I'm surprised that it doesn't. You know, my son Lincoln's head is way bigger than his waistline. Sometimes I wonder how he's able to fit under his bed whenever he's looking for something.

"Yeah, that does seem pretty funny. I remember when Lori got stuck and we had to cut off some of her hair just to get her out."

"Oh yeah. What a riot," Dos laughed. "Almost reminds me of that blue bird. You know, the one with a head the shape of a watermelon?"

"Oh yeah. It's a wonder how he's able to get through doorways."

"And what about that Einstein kid with the tall haircut? I mean it's so ridiculous, it's easy to mistake him for a dessert topping."

"I know, right?"

"And how about those three singing chipmunks?"

"Chipmunks? I thought they were just little humans with bushy tails."

As the three were busy talking and laughing, they finally managed to get Rita out of the doorway. "Ah, finally. It sure was nice meeting you guys. See you later." With that, Rita goes back upstairs leaving the 3 minis alone as the door closes.


	16. Short 5: Lori’s Ballgown Struggles

Lori in her room wearing a baby blue ball gown that was a yard and a half way around. "This is literally the greatest ball gown I've ever worn. Absolutely marvelous." She then gets a text from Bobby saying " _hey babe, ready for the big dance tonight?_ "

" _As I'll ever be_ ," she replies. " _I just got the perfect dress for it._ "

 _"That's great. Can't wait to see you there_."

Lori hangs up the phone and relaxes on the bed. "You know, the dance isn't for a few hours," she thought to herself. "Might as well keep this dress on until then."

After relaxing on the bed for a minute, she makes her way to the bathroom, but because of how wide the dress is, she suddenly gets stuck in the doorway. "AAHHH!!! What is it with people getting stuck in doors lately?!" Lori struggles to get through the doorway (which takes her about 5 minutes). After getting out of her room, she tries to enter the bathroom, only to get stuck again. "Aaahh!! Why did I have to get a yard and a half wide ball gown dress?" After struggling (again), she finally managed to enter the bathroom and shut the door, but also finds it difficult to use the toilet. "How are you even supposed to go in these things!?"

After she exits the bathroom, she makes her way downstairs, only for her dress to get stuck in the stairwell. "Why do they have to make these things so wide?! Maybe a healthy snack will help take my mind off it." After struggling to make it all the way down the stairs, she makes her way to the dining room (but doesn't get stuck due to the fact that the entrance is so wide) and into the kitchen only to get stuck again. "Oh come on!"

Later, Lori is in the living room sitting alone watching television. Just then, the taxi, pulls up and Lori sees it outside the window. She tries to get out the front door, but once again, her dress gets stuck in the doorway again. She then struggles to get unstuck, which she eventually does, but her ring falls off her finger and falls through a crack in the porch. She goes down the stairs to go get it, but the dress also gets caught in the stairwell. It takes her a while to get down the stairs, and once she does, she goes into the crawl space to get her ring. But her dress eclipsed about 2 1/2 inches, making it difficult for her to enter. She reaches her arm out to grab her ring, but almost doesn't seem to reach it. After continuously stretching, she retrieved her ring, placed it back on her finger and she finally managed to make it to the taxi cab, only for it to get caught in the door again. "Dang it!"

 **Hello everyone. And that concludes the second short chapter as requested by crafordbrian17. Now if I have to be honest, this one was a lot harder to do than the last since there wasn't exactly a lot going on in it. So there is a chance it may leave a lot to be desired. And in all honesty, I think this would do better as an animated short rather than a fanfic chapter. Now I know these stories have a lot to do with characters getting stuck in a door (which sounds a little redundant) but keep in mind, that's what the reviewer requested, so I'm just as surprised as you. And I apologize if this chapter seems a little boring but I couldn't exactly make the stuck-in-doorway scenes last to long or it would be slowing down everything, so you take what you can get I guess. But don't worry, the next chapters will have a little more dynamic in them.**

 **Speaking of which, I have an announcement to make. I have a few ideas of my own for further chapters so I wanna get those done before I forget. So as of now, I'm going to be taking a short break from requests for a while. Now don't get me wrong, I like that you guys keep sending me ideas, but I'm starting to get a little overwhelmed and I wanna have enough time to do my own stories. You can still leave your requests in the reviews, but I probably won't get to them for a while. But not to worry, I'll get those done after I get some of my own ideas done.**

 **Hope you guys can understand (and NO RUDE COMMENTS!!)**

 **Thank you**


	17. Hypno-Sister

**Here I am yet again with another story. Now before I begin, you may notice that a lot of my stories seem to center around Lincoln or Lana. Well the reason why I mostly do stories about them are because these two are my most favorite characters in the entire show. For instance, Lincoln reminds me a lot of myself back when I was younger and I had to deal with the struggles in my family. Okay, I don't have as many sisters as he does, but I do find his personality similar to mine, so it's easy for me to come up with things for him to say and situations that he would get into. As for Lana,...well, ever since the episode Toads and Tiaras, I find that she's one of the most interesting and fascinating characters in the show. With all that said, here's the story. Now for this one, I took a bit of inspiration from Disney's _Lilo and Stitch: the series_. More specifically, the episode with Experiment 383 (AKA Swirly). Another reason was because I've seen a lot of hypnotism in cartoons, with the spirals, and the swirly eyes, and all that. Basically it just kept coming to my mind, even when I was sleeping, so how could I resist including a chapter like this? So without further ado, please enjoy Hypno-Sister.**

* * *

Lola is busy performing for another one of her pageants, and once again (like always) she performs perfectly and wins. "And the winner is…..Lola Loud!" The judges hand Lola the trophy and all the other pageant girls look at her jealous. "And just a reminder: tomorrow is the little miss Prim and Perfect Twin pageant. So be at the Royal Woods Ballroom with your partner. It can either be your _real_ twin or someone with physiques similar to yours. Thanks everyone. And have a good rest of your day."

As Lola leaves the pageant hall, she is followed by an unknown rival. "Well, well, well, if it isn't miss Lola Loud."

"What do you want, Sweetwater?"

"Oh nothing. Just wanted to congratulate you on winning once again. And I can't wait to see you and your twin perform tomorrow. Oh, wait a minute. Your twin can't come because she's not _girly_ enough."

"Well at least I have a twin, unlike _you_."

"Well, who's to say she's gonna participate with you?"

"Oh I'll get her on board. And I think I know how to get her to do it."

* * *

Back at the Loud House, Lola and her twin Lana are walking down the hallway with Lana not looking to happy. "What do you mean you're not gonna do it?"

"I mean I'm _not_ gonna do it. You know pageants are not my thing."

"Come on, Lana. You've done it before."

"I did. And after that I vowed _never_ to do it again."

"But the pageants going to be broadcast on national television."

"So what? Television is overrated. It's just filming people for acting all perfect and girly and the people watching it just like to laugh and make fun of them for acting different."

" _We_ make fun of each other all the time."

"Well I never said it was a _good_ thing. Heck, I'd take back every rude thing I said if I had the chance. Trust me, it's a _bad_ idea, and I want _nothing_ to do with it."

"I forgot to mention that there's a grand mystery prize for the winner."

"And just what is that mysterious prize?"

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a mystery."

"Well it's going to remain a mystery to me, because I'm not doing it. Find someone else instead." Lana goes into her room and shuts the door.

"FINE! Don't come! See if I care!" With that, Lola leaves looking quite disappointed.

Lana is pacing around her room in a frustrated mood. "Can you believe that Lola? Asking me to be her pageant partner? _Me_! _Lana_ _Loud_! The queen of risks! The _least_ feminine out of all the Loud girls! I'm the _last_ one you'd expect to compete in a pageant!" Her pet frog Hops gives her a stern look. "Oh come on. Don't look at me like that. It's not that I don't want to make Lola happy. I just can't always do the same stuff she does. I mean look at me. I barely stay clean, I'm uncoordinated, and my friends are a bunch of animals. No offense Hops."

Hops croaked. (Translation: none taken)

"Plus, do you know how much my feet would hurt from wearing high heels?" Hops still gives her a stern look. "Okay look, if it'll make you happy, I'll let Lola cool off for a bit and then later I'll apologize for hurting her feelings. Sound okay?" Hops gives her a shrug. "Good." With that, Lana jumps onto her bed to relax.

Meanwhile, downstairs, the rest of the siblings are sitting on the couch as Lisa is presenting her newest invention. "Siblings, I present to you my latest creation." Lisa pulls over the cover revealing a high tech helmet. "Behold the Hypno-Helmet 3000. Designed to mesmerize unsuspecting victims to become helpless puppets, forced to obey the first command or suggestion that they hear. It's also big fun at parties. Any questions?" Lincoln raises his hand. "Yes Lincoln?"

"How do you make sure a person doesn't get hypnotized?"

"Then that person would have to wear specially designed hypnosis-proof goggles. Unfortunately, I don't have the supplies I need to make such a thing. So I need one of you two escort this device upstairs and keep it safe until I return." The rest of the girls dash out of the living room, leaving Lincoln alone on the couch.

"Dang it."

"Ah yes. Thank you for volunteering elder brother."

"Sure, not a problem," Lincoln says sarcastically. "I was just about to head upstairs anyway." Lisa leaves the room, leaving her brother alone. Lincoln stuffs the device into his backpack and heads upstairs. But just as he reaches his room, the device falls out of Lincoln's pack and lands on the floor in front of the twins bedroom.

Lana comes out of her room and almost steps on something. She looks under her foot and sees that she almost stepped on Lisa's new invention. "Whoa cool! Must be one of Lisa's thingamajigs. Wonder what it does." Lana presses the button on the top and the machine activates. A little spiral disc starts spinning around. As Lana stares into the disc, she finds herself unable to resist. The pupils in her eyes then shrink and become spirals as the rest of her body becomes completely motionless.

Lincoln then comes out of his room and sees the device in Lana's hands. "Ah, there it is. Thanks sis." Lincoln grabs the device from Lana's hands and starts to go back to his room, but then stops for a minute and sees that his sister is completely hypnotized. "Lana? Are you okay?" Lincoln waved his hand in front of his sisters face, but she's still unresponsive. "Hello? Anybody home in there?"

Leni then comes out of her room and walks down the hallway. "Hey Linky. What's up?"

"What's wrong with Lana?"

"I'll tell you what's wrong with her. She obviously doesn't appreciate good publicity, unlike her sister." Leni whispers into Lana's ear. "You should really be more like your twin Lola."

Leni's words then echo around in Lana's head as she snaps out of her hypnotic state. "Oh, hey guys. Guess what! I'm gonna be a TV star. But first, I have to change these stupid clothes." Lana goes back into her room and shuts the door behind her, leaving her siblings surprised and confused.

"Okay, that was weird," Lincoln said.

* * *

In Lori's room, Leni is rummaging through the closet, when Lori steps in. "Leni, what are you doing."

"I'm trying to find the right outfit for Lana. She needs the perfect outfit."

"You literally have more outfits than I do. Raid your own dresser. And since when does Lana care about being fashionable?"

"Since she recently had a change of vision."

"Yeah right. I'd believe it when I see it."

Speak of the devil, Lana appears in the room, but instead of her signature cap and overalls, she's wearing one of Lola's pageant dresses and her hair was all coiffed and braided. "There we go. You would not believe how long it took me to clean up that filthy mess."

"Lana?" Lori asks with surprise. "Is that you?"

"Of course it's me, you philistine. Leni, I need that dress fitted for the pageant coming up tomorrow."

"WHAT?!" Lori couldn't believe what she heard. "You don't even like that kuckoo stuff!"

"As if! Those who dislike being prim and perfect have no class whatsoever. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find my pageant partner." Lana leaves in a huff. Lori is still in disbelief.

"What the hey just happened?!"

* * *

Outside in the backyard, Lola is laying under a tree looking quite depressed. Lana comes out and sits next to her. "Hey Lola."

"What do you want?"

"I wanna see how my little pageant partner is doing."

"Oh great! _Now_ you wanna be my pageant partner? I thought you said that stuff was for prissy sissies."

"As if. Like I would degrade something as classy as that."

"Okay, this is getting weird. What's going on with you?"

"Look, do you wanna be my partner or not?"

"Given those choices, I accept. But on one condition. You have to prove your as prim and perfect as me."

"Not a problem. I got this."

 _A montage begins of Lana proving her etiquettes to Lola, including catwalking, coordination, elegance, speech and even ribbon dancing._

"Well Lola, what do you think?"

"I gotta hand it to you, I didn't think you had it in but you proved me wrong. I think a good performance deserves some relaxation time."

Lola leaves and Lana sees Lincoln working on a toothpick sculpture on the living room coffee table. "Hey Lana. Wanna give me a hand?"

"And get splinters in my fingers? No thank you sir." Lana leaves leaving Lincoln alone and confused.

Later, the bathroom sink has a leak in it and Lincoln's trying hard to hold it. Soon Lana steps in. "Hey Lana. I could sure use a hand here."

"Oh please. I'd rather dip my glove in the toilet than get my hands dirty trying to fix that."

"But you love getting your hands dirty."

"Maybe the old Lana did, but the new Lana has some new hobbies." Lana leaves once again.

That night, the twins are heading off to bed. "I must say," Lola says. "I've really come to appreciate your demeanor lately. We are a shoe-in for the pageant tomorrow."

"I'll say we are." Lana said as she climbed into bed. "Night Lola."

"Night Lana."

While the twins are sleeping, Hops, along with Lana's other pets, are under her bed feeling quite distraught, knowing that the Lana they knew and loved may be gone forever.

* * *

The next morning, all the girls (sans Lisa) are heading into Vanzilla, but Lincoln decided to stay behind. "Are you sure you don't wanna come support your sisters, Lincoln?" Lori asks.

"No. It's okay. You guys go on ahead. I'll just stay and watch from the TV."

"Oh well. Suit yourself." Lori and the rest of the girls drive off, leaving Lincoln alone feeling quite mournful.

A while later, Lincoln and Rita are having lunch together, but Lincoln seems too distracted to eat.

"Lincoln?" Rita asks. "What's wrong sweetie?"

"Oh, nothing."

"Lincoln, I know something's bothering you. You're barely eating."

"Well, it's just that…..well, you'd still love us even if we tried to change who we were, wouldn't you?"

"Honey, is this about Lana?"

"No!"

"Lincoln?"

"Okay yes! It's about Lana. She's been acting really weird lately."

"Oh I'm sure she's just going through a phase. Don't you remember when she wanted to be Tarzan?"

 _Flashback_

 _Lincoln is sitting on a park bench reading a comic when he sees Lana is swinging on a vine through the trees doing the Tarzan yell. Things go well until Lana swings into a tree. "Ow. That really hurt."_

 _Flashback ends_

"But this is different. She's not the same Lana anymore. She doesn't like to get dirty, play with her animals, or even fix anything. She's just doing the same things Lola does and it's driving me nuts."

"It sounds to me like Lana's going through some changes, and your sisters are there to support her. I think you need to try being supportive too, at least until your sister figures out what she wants."

"I'll try, but I sure know what I want. I want the old Lana back."

"I'm sure it'll pass, Lincoln. Besides it's not like something altered your sister's mind or anything."

"Yeah you're right. It's just….I miss her. I'm not feeling hungry right now." Lincoln leaves the table and goes upstairs in a depressed mood. In the hallway, Lincoln spots Lana's pet frog Hops, sitting in front of the doorway looking sad. "Hey Hops. You miss the old Lana, don't you?" Hops nods his head. "Yeah. I miss her too. Looks like it's up to us to fix it. And I know just the person who can help."

* * *

Lincoln knocks on Lisa's door and the young scientist steps out. "Lisa, I need your help right now! Don't ask questions please!"

"I do have _one_."

"Yes, it's Lana related."

"Very well. Come on in." Lincoln steps into Lisa's room and closes the door. "I assume that you're distressed about our resident handyman's recent incarnation. Therefore I can deduce that you want to return her to her previous manifestation." Lincoln looks at her confused. "You want Lana back to her old self again," Lisa simplified.

"Do you think you can fix her, Lisa?"

"Unfortunately, I cannot. However, I might be able to analyze what happened so that we can figure out the cause."

"How are we gonna do that."

"With the security cameras of course. Honestly, don't you _ever_ pay attention?" She muttered under her breath as she starts up the surveillance screen."

"Lisa, we seriously need to talk about your obsession. It's really starting to worry me."

"There'll be plenty of time for confrontations but _now_ is not the time."

The screen turns on revealing the hallway. Lisa rewinds the video revealing what happened earlier that day, showing Lincoln running the hallway and something falling out of his backpack. "Hold on. Lisa, could you zoom in please?" The camera zooms in on the object and enhances the resolution, revealing the object is Lisa's hypno machine. "Wait a minute! That's the hypnosis invention you showed us later today." The video reveals Lana stepping out of her room, picking up the invention and becoming completely unresponsive.

"That's strange. Why would she become unresponsive after picking up the device?"

"Hold on, Lis. Didn't you say it was dangerous to stare at the machine without hypnosis protection?"

"Affirmative. Once subjects are under hypnosis, they are forced to obey the first suggestion or command that they hear."

"And she didn't have any hypno-proof gear on. Lana must've gotten hypnotized!"

"The question is, why would she be acting like her identical twin."

"Well all I remember was that after she didn't respond, Leni came by and suggested that she'd be….more….like Lola. Oh my gosh! It's our fault! We did this to her! What do we do, Lis?!"

"Well technically, I never got to work on an antidote, although, perhaps if you remind her of who she really is, it might be enough to break the trance."

"You think that'll work?"

"It's a long shot."

"Good enough for me. Come on, Hops! We're going to get our Lana back!" Hops jumps into Lincoln's shirt and the two leave the house.

* * *

At the Royal Woods ballroom, the girls are finishing up their routines. Meanwhile, Lana is in the dressing room preparing her makeup when Lincoln bursts through the door. "Lana, I need to talk to you!"

"Can it wait? I'm about to go on."

"That's exactly what i want to talk to you about. I know why you've been acting like this. You've been hypnotized and now you're acting like Lola."

"So what if I am? Besides, why would you want a dirty, filthy, stinky little grease monkey for a sister anyway?"

"We never meant for this to happen. It was an accident. At first, we thought it was pretty fun, but now we want the old Lana back. We need the real you."

"Well tough tiaras, because there's no way I'm going back."

"Lana, please! You've got to snap out of it!" Lincoln then pulls out Hops from behind his back and shows it to his sister. "Lana, look! This is Hops! Remember? Hops! Your best friend! You were playing with each other at the frog pond, and he wanted to live with you. And you showed me that video you made. Remember?"

"Ew! There's no way I'd ever be friends with a slimy toad!"

"Lana please! You can't forget him!"

"Lincoln, I don't have time for this. Just make yourself useful and stay out of my way!" Just as Lincoln is about to give up, Lana pushes him to the side and he gets knocked into the refreshment table, which causes a pitcher of water to fly into the air and splash Lana in the face. Once she's all wet, she closes her eyes, shakes her head and starts acting like her old self again. "Huh? What happened? Where am I?" She then noticed what she was wearing. "And why am I dressed like this?"

"Lana?" Lincoln asks. "Is it really _you_?"

"Uh, yeah. Who else would I be?"

"Lana! You're out of your trance!"

"What are you talking about?"

* * *

The two are sitting on a bench and Lincoln finished explaining everything to his sister. "So you're telling me I was hypnotized the entire time?"

"Yeah. You were acting just like Lola."

"Yuck! It's a good thing I don't remember." Lana then realizes something. "Wait a minute! If I was acting like her, that means….. I'm in the prim and perfect twins pageant?! AAAHH! Oh man! What am I gonna do? We have to do a dance routine together! I can't dance like her! We'll be a laughing stock!"

Lincoln then gets an idea. "I think I have just the solution."

"What is it? I'll do anything!"

"Just sit here, relax," Lincoln pulls out a shiny watch out of his pocket and starts swinging it in front of Lana's eyes. "And keep your eyes on this watch. It goes back and forth. Do not take your eyes off of it. Focus on the watch and you will feel more and more relaxed."

"Lincoln! This is ridiculous! My will is too strong. There's no way you can hypnotize me to—."

"Sleep!"

As soon as she hears that word, Lana stops talking and closes her eyes. Her head is lowered and her arms became limp and unresponsive, as she is immediately put into a deep sleep. "Now Lana. You are in a deep, deep hypnotic trance. All you can hear is my voice and you will do as you are told."

" _I will do what I am told,_ " Lana repeats in a monotone voice.

"Good. As soon as you hear the words ' _you've got this, girl_ ', you will become a great dancer. Just like your twin sister Lola."

" _Just like my twin._ "

"And when you hear the words ' _we did it sis_ ', you will return to your normal self again, and the trigger words will no longer have an affect on you."

" _Return to normal_."

"Finally, and most importantly, once you're back to normal, you will not remember being hypnotized and will just be happy to be yourself. Do you understand?"

" _Yes master."_

"Good. You are now…..awake!" Lincoln snapped his fingers and Lana awakes from her trance, but she still felt unconvinced.

"Aw this is hopeless. I might as well just tell Lola I want out." Lana walks out onto the stage, leaving Lincoln and Hops behind, looking at each other with mischievous looks.

On stage, Lola is preparing for the dance routine. Lana walks up to her. "Lola, there's something I gotta tell you."

"Not now Lana. We're about to win this thing."

"But Lola…."

"I know what you're gonna say. Look, I know pageants aren't your thing, but the reason I wanted you to participate with me was so we could be closer together. Sometimes I feel like our differences are keeping us farther apart. So I thought if we won the prize, we could enjoy it together. And I'm sorry I don't say it that much, but…...you're the best sister I've ever had."

"Really?" Lola nods. "I was kinda thinking the same thing about you. And I'm glad we're twins."

"Thanks Lana." The two girls then hug each other. "Now I know you're a little nervous about dancing, but don't worry. You've got this, girl."

As soon as she hears those 4 words, her hypnotic spell starts to take effect and she instantly gains a boost of confidence. "Alright, let's do this!"

Meanwhile backstage, the rest of her siblings are watching the whole thing. "Luna," Lincoln suggests. "A little musical assistance if you please?"

"You got it bro!"

 _"_ Are you ready Lana?"

"Uh-huh. You?"

"Yeah! Girls?"

 _"_ Alright ladies, let's go!"

And so the dance competition began. Luna provides the music while the twins danced in sync with it. Everyone watched in amazement, especially Lincoln.

The song ends and the girls finish dancing. "And the winners of the Prim and Perfect Twin Sister Pageant are…...LOLA AND LANA LOUD!"

The Loud siblings cheer for the two girls and Lola hugs her twin in gratitude. "WHOOOO! ALRIGHT! Well done! We did it, sis!"

Those last four words cause Lana's hypnosis to wear off. Afterwards, she barely remembered anything. "Uh, what just happened?"

"We'll explain it to you later, Lana."

* * *

Back at the Loud House, the Louds are throwing a party in the backyard. Meanwhile, Lana is changing back to her normal clothes. "Ah, feels great to be back to my old self again. I've got my lucky red hat and my favorite overalls. Oh, how I've missed you guys." Lana spots her frog on her bed. "Oh. Hey Hops. Listen, I'm sorry about the way I treated you. I never would've gotten into that pageant with Lola if I wasn't hypnotized. But on the bright side, we _did_ manage to win the prize." The two look outside to see that the prize is revealed to be a gigantic inflatable water slide. "Look, I know you're upset with me, and I don't blame you. But I just want you to know something. If being put under a hypnotic spell ever does make me forget that you're my best friend, then I don't want that to happen ever again. So what do you say? You forgive me?" Hops thinks about it for a minute and then jumps into Lana's arms. "Aw, thanks buddy."

The two then head out to the backyard to join everyone. "Hey, Lola!" Lana catches up with her twin. "Listen, when you asked me to be your partner, at first I really didn't want to because I thought it would be a pain, but it turns out that even though I don't exactly like the things you like, that was actually pretty fun."

"Thanks Lana. That means a lot."

Lana then walks up to her brother. "Lincoln, I can't thank you enough. It feels good to be back. Just one thing I gotta know: how'd you learn how to hypnotize me?"

"Oh, Clyde taught me. He says Dr. Lopez uses hypnosis on her patients sometimes."

"Oh. Okay. But why'd you do it?"

"To give you confidence. Sure I wanted the old you back, but I also knew that Lola's pageant career means a lot to her. So by making you think you were as good a dancer as she was, you would gain enough confidence to win the dance competition."

"Oh. Well thanks Lincoln. For everything."

"Don't mention it. So Lisa, what did you end up doing with that hypno machine?"

"Not too sure, elder brother. It's very difficult to find use for an invention such as this. Mostly it's only good at finding a way to make fun of people."

"Yeah," Lola agrees. "Unless you can find someone who thinks that making fun of people is good."

The kids look over to see Lindsey Sweetwater clucking like a chicken, while the other pageant girls are laughing. "Like you said Lisa, that invention is real fun at parties."

"Well, all's well that ends well," Lincoln says to the audience. "Lola won the grand prize, Lana's back to normal and everyone's having fun. Looks like everything turned out okay." Just then, the Louds hear a sound coming from the doghouse. They look inside and see Charles in a nest acting like a chicken. "Well, _almost_ everything."

"If he lays an egg, I'm getting out of here," Lynn said.


	18. Short 6: Charades

**Inspired by the _Monsters Inc_ teaser trailer.**

* * *

"Okay everyone," Lori announces. "Another night alone, and you know what that means."

"Charades!"

"Now who's turn is it?"

Lincoln raises his hand.

"Anyone? Anyone at all?"

"Lori!"

"I'm just messing with you. Lincoln, you're up."

"Alright," Lynn declares. "But it better be a good one."

Lincoln reaches into a bowl and pulls out a slip of paper. He then made hand signals as his sisters tried to guess. The first signal was opening a book.

"Let's see. It's a book!" Lori guessed.

Then Lincoln makes it look like he's holding an invisible remote control.

Then Lynn took a guess. "It's also a tv show!"

The girls were right on target.

Lincoln held up five fingers.

"Okay, five words I presume," Lisa stated.

Lincoln points to his turkey tail.

"You're head?" Lana guessed.

"One step ahead!" Luan said.

"No wait," Leni thought. "I think he means hair. Something with hair in it."

" _When Harry Met Sally_?" Lori asked.

Lincoln shook his head.

"Harold Hutchins from _Captain Underpants!_ " Luan shouts.

"A hair-raising experience!" Lisa tries.

"The _Harry Potter_ series?" Lucy guessed.

" _Harry and his Bucket full of Dinosaurs_!" Lana shouts.

But despite their efforts, nobody was getting it right.

Lincoln then made a pose while holding a purple crayon (get the hint?).

"I know!" Leni shouts. " _Hey Arnold_!"

(Unfortunately they didn't get it.) Lincoln had enough and gave up.

"Hey, where you going?" Luna asked.

"Come on!" Lynn encourages. "We gotta finish the game."

But Lincoln already left the room.

Lana then spotted the crayon on the floor. "Oh wait! Wait! I got it! _Harold and the Purple Crayon_! Is that it Lincoln? Did I get it right?"

But there was no answer.

* * *

Next it was Lana's turn. She looked as if she was winding a movie camera.

"Movie title," Lola guessed.

Lana held up two fingers.

"Two words," Lisa translates.

But before she even started to pose, Lincoln immediately guessed it right. " _Toy Story_."

Lana was stunned. "How do you do that?"


	19. Joke Callers

**Hey everyone. Here I am with yet another reviewer request. Now I know I said that I'd take a break from these, and I'm still trying to, but this reviewer insisted that this should be the next chapter. Now just to reiterate, and I don't want to repeat myself again, so pay attention: it's alright to leave requests in the reviews, but at the same time, I also have ideas of my own that I would like to get out of the way and it's pretty easy for things to slip my mind. So I can not, and I repeat NOT guarantee what chapter is going to be next. So I'm sorry to disappoint you, but if you have requests, you're just gonna have to wait for them to be published. I promise, I'll do what I can. Now as you would probably guess, this request comes from connor1126. Now I know he's requested a lot of ideas for chapters and they all seemed to be based on _Regular Show_ episodes (in fact I still have a ton more) so if there's any more chapters similar to _Regular Show_ , chances are that they are requested by him, and if not, I'll clarify. So here's a chapter based on Prank Callers. Thanks and enjoy.**

* * *

Clyde and Lincoln are sitting in front of the computer watching videos of prank phone calls. " _Hello_?"

" _Yes, I'm looking for a mister Kout. First name: Lou."_

 _"Lou Kout?"_ (Sounds like 'Look Out')

" _Look out for what? I don't see anything._ " Lincoln and Clyde just laugh and laugh. " _You just got pranked by the master of pranks."_

"You know, I always thought that _Luan_ was the master of pranks," Clyde wondered.

"Well technically, Luan's just the master of _comedy_ ," Lincoln replied.

"Oh yeah. But oh man. The master of pranks is the most hilarious thing on the internet. Don't you think Lincoln?"

"Yeah I guess, but do you know what's even better than _watching_ prank phone calls?" Lincoln pointed to the telephone and Clyde gets the idea.

In Leni and Lori's room, Leni is busy designing a new outfit when her phone starts ringing. "Hello."

"Hey Leni," Lincoln called. "Do you know anyone named Izzy Cumming?"

"Is he coming?"

"I don't know. Why don't you wait and see?" The boys then laugh and then dial another number.

In Lucy's room, Lucy picks up her phone. "Hello?"

"Hey Lucy. Do you have any friends named Stan DePain?"

"Excuse me?"

The boys laugh again and Lucy hangs up with an angry look on her face.

Cut to the backyard where Lori is lounging on a chair. Her phone rings and she picks it up. "Hello?"

"Hey Lori, do you have any books by Seymour Butts?"

"Who is this?!"

The boys laugh even harder than before.

 _"Now listen here! Whoever you are, I will find you and when I do, you're gonna be sorry!"_

"Oh man!" Lincoln laughed. "She's still on the phone!"

"She's still on the phone?"

"She's still on the phone!" The boys then laugh their hardest and Lincoln hangs up.

"Oh man Lincoln! We're the best prank callers ever, aren't we?"

"Yeah, second best."

"What do you mean second best? Did you not hear what we just did? That was purely hilarious!"

"Yeah it was. But that's just for starters. There's still one person we have yet to prank."

Clyde gasped. "You dont mean?"

"Oh I mean."

The boys then hear an angry voice coming from upstairs. "LINCOLN! YOU ARE SO GOING TO BE A HUMAN PRETZEL!"

"Wanna go hide in the attic?"

"Yes please!" Clyde follows Lincoln into the attic. Once they are in there, they begin searching.

"Find anything yet Clyde?"

"Not yet."

"Come on. There's gotta be something in here that will help us prank the master of pranks." Lincoln then finds an old dusty box lying on the ground. "What's this?" Lincoln blows the dust off the box and opens it. "Cool! 90s cell phones! These are perfect!"

"How are they perfect? How is double decades old technology going to help us?"

"Think about it Clyde. These things don't have trackers on them. That means the girls won't be able to find them with their phones."

"Good point."

"Come on. Let's roll."

* * *

The boys take the phones to the park and cover their heads in tinfoil. "Okay," Clyde says. "Let's do this."

"Here goes nothing." Lincoln dialed the phone and it rings. The master of pranks picks up the phone and answers.

 _"Hello?"_

"Yeah, this is the pizza delivery guy? I have the 50 pizzas you ordered."

 _"Sounds great. Bring them over."_

"Uh, you ordered 50 pizzas?"

 _"Yeah, and breadsticks. Now get over here quick, okay? I'm getting famished."_

"Uhhh…..gotta go." Lincoln hangs up the phone.

"Let me try." Clyde dials and the phone is picked up.

" _Hello?"_

"Hi. This is Fred."

" _Fred who?"_

"Uh…..Fred….Fredrickson."

" _Your name is Fred Fredrickson?"_

"Uh….yep."

" _Well congratulations. That's the stupidest false name I've ever heard. And what happened to your unfunny voice?"_

"I don't know."

" _Now you listen here and listen good! Either you stop calling me or you're gonna regret it!"_ The master hangs up

"Dang! This guy is good. Maybe we shouldn't be doing this."

"You're gonna give up now? When we're this close? You never give up on anything. And I don't think you should give up now. If we're gonna beat this guy, then we gotta try."

"You're right Clyde!" Lincoln dials again. "Hello, this is….."

" _Get it."_ The master hangs up.

Clyde dials. "Yeah buddy, it's…."

" _Heard it."_ The master hangs up again.

Lincoln makes another attempt. "Yeah hello…."

" _Got anything more original?_ " The phone hangs up again.

"Really? That's the best you got? No offense Lincoln, but that was worse than the last few times."

"Like yours were any better." Just then the phone rings on its own. "Very funny Clyde. I know it's you."

"Uh Lincoln. I'm not doing anything."

Lincoln picks up the phone and they both listen. "Hello?"

" _Is this the pizza guy or Fred Fredrickson?_ "

"Uh….both?"

" _Listen, I warned you about calling me. Now prepare to be pranked out of your wits. The 1990s called: they want their cell phones back!"_ Lincoln and Clyde get sucked into the phone and are sent through a time vortex. They reappear in the same spot, but everything in the park looks newer.

"Where are we?" Clyde asked.

"I think we're back at the park."

"Are we?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean look. All these trees look so little, and that bench looks like it was just painted. I'm telling you, something weird is going on."

"You're overreacting Clyde."

"Lincoln, I know what I'm talking about. Trust me. Something must've happened." Just then, the boys spotted someone familiar

"Look, there's my dad, let's ask him." The boys walk up to Lynn Loud Sr, who has his face turned away. "Hey Dad. Could you please tell Clyde that everything here is fine?"

"What now?" The man turns around and appears to be younger. Lincoln and Clyde are shocked at this.

"Why does my Dad look so young?"

"Now then, who are you two? And how do you know me?"

"Dad it's me. I'm your son, Lincoln."

"But I've never seen any of you in my entire life."

"You mean you don't know who I am?"

"Afraid not. The only kid I have is a daughter named Lori. My wife's having another baby, but oh how I wish I could have a son."

"Okay Clyde, maybe you're right. There is something going on."

"That's not the only thing. Look!" Clyde points to a video store where there's a bunch of TVs showing commercials of old shows. " _'Doug, Rugrats, Wild Thornberries, Rocket Power? Coming soon to Nickelodeon: Spongebob SquarePants?_ ' Don't you get it? We're in the 90s! Mr Loud, what year is this?"

"Well it's 1999 of course," Lynn answered.

"This is bad Lincoln! We're in the late 1990s! We don't even exist yet!"

"Well the only way we're going to get back is if we trick him harder than he tricked us."

"Let's do this!"

Lincoln dials the phone.

" _Hello?"_

"The 80s called. They want their…"

" _WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT CALLING ME?!"_ A bright yellow, sparkling cloud comes out of the phone and morphs into a giant 90s cell phone with arms and legs. "You couldn't bother to leave me alone. And now you're gonna pay!"

"Hey pal, let's not do anything hasty."

"Too late!"

"Clyde?"

"Yeah Lincoln?"

"Should we run for our lives?"

"Funny, I was just thinking that."

The boys run away while the master of pranks chases them. The phone rings again and Clyde answers it. "Hello?"

" _The 90s called. They still want more!"_

90s clothes then appear on Lincoln and Clyde while they're still running, including denim jackets, baggy jeans and combat boots. The two then screamed.

"Aw man!" Lincoln complains. "These aren't even the cool clothes from the 90s!"

"How would you know?" Clyde argues. "You weren't even born yet!"

"Leni knows a ton about 90s clothing! She's been lecturing me!"

The phone rings again and Clyde picks up. "Listen, we'll do whatever you want! Just leave us alone!"

" _Don't ever hang up on me!"_

More clothes appear on the boys, and their hairstyles even changed, making them scream even more. "Clyde!" Lincoln panicked. "We gotta call someone to help us prank this guy!"

"Who?!"

"I don't care who! Just call someone!"

Back in the present, the other 90s cell phone rings in the middle of the park.

"Ooh, telephone!" Leni picks up the phone and answers it. "Hello?"

 _"Leni! It's Lincoln! Me and Clyde are stuck in the 90s and we need your help!"_

"Leni, who you talking to?" Lori asks.

"It's Lincoln and Clyde. They said they're stuck in the 1990s."

"Oh they are, are they?" Lori takes the phone. "Hello?"

 _"Lori! We need you to help us! We're trapped in 1999!"_

"Oh wow! That's really something Lincoln. I guess we're living in the Stone Age, huh?"

"Crud! She thinks we're joking!"

"Give me that phone!" Clyde shouts into the phone. " _The 1990s called, they want their cellphones back!"_

Lori, Leni as well as the other sisters are being sucked into the phone and are sent through a vortex which brings them to 1999. They are teleported to the same spot where Lincoln and Clyde were running. "Guys!"

"Lincoln! What is literally going on?!"

"And why are you wearing those outfits?" Leni questions. "Those are so out-of-style."

"We'll talk about it later! We gotta get out of here!"

Just then, Vanzilla pulls up next to the kids with a young Lynn Sr driving. "Need a lift?"

"Is that Dad?" Lynn Jr asked.

"We'll explain later. Let's go!" Lincoln, Clyde and everyone else hops into the van and begin driving away. "Okay, we need your help to prank the master of pranks."

"Why did you prank him?" Lucy asked.

"And how dare he steals my title?" Luan argues.

The phone rings again. "I'll handle this!" Lori answers the phone "Hello?"

" _Nice ride, but mine's better!"_ Just then a limousine teleports next to them with the master of pranks inside it. The limo tries to ram them off the road, but the van takes another path and lands right next to a 90s electronic store.

"Lincoln, what do we do?" Clyde asked.

"I think I have an idea."

* * *

The kids are back at the park. Lincoln sets up the phone and an answering machine. "You sure this is gonna work kiddo?" Lynn Sr asked.

"It has to. Trust me, this plan is full proof."

"Well I gotta admit. That's pretty smart. I wish I could have a son as smart as you."

"I have a pretty strong feeling you _will_. Now everyone get in position." Everyone runs into the bushes to hide. The phone rings and Lincoln turns on the answering machine before hiding in the bushes. Lincoln's voice comes out of the tape. _"Hello?"_

 _"This is the master of pranks telling you-."_

 _"Hello?"_

 _"I said this is the master of-."_

 _"Hello? Sorry, I can't hear you."_

 _"This is the master of pranks!"_

 _"Hello? Are you there? Hello?"_

" _Aaargh!"_ The master appears but finds out that the voice is coming from a tape recorder.

" _Just kidding! You got pranked! Now who's the master?"_

"Noooooooooo!" The master of pranks then disappears into oblivion and creates their portal to home. Everybody cheers.

"Alright we did it Lincoln!" Clyde congratulated.

"Yeah you're plan worked!" Luan jokes. "Looks like the master is now been surprassed at last-er. Hahaha. Get it?" Everyone groans at the joke except for Lynn Sr. "But seriously, great job Link."

"Well kids, I guess this is goodbye." Lynn Sr bids them farewell. "Sure wish I could see you again."

"Oh I think you'll be seeing us in the near future," Lincoln reassured. "We'll never forget you sir." The kids wave their goodbyes and enter the portal. Inside, there are many doors with a different year on them. "One of these doors should lead us back to the present."

"There it is." Lynn Jr spots the door with the year 2018 on it. (Now I know what you might be thinking, but considering that the Loud House first aired in 2016, it would make sense that Lincoln and Clyde would be teleported 17 years in the past since the oldest sister is 17 years old. I know it's confusing but time in the cartoon world isn't the same as time in the real world. I mean how else can the Loud kids have 3 April fools days and still be the same ages?) Anyway, Lincoln's sisters walk through the door, but Lincoln and Clyde stay behind when they see the master of pranks in his true identity.

"So that's it? You're just gonna leave me here? I get it. You guys are better prank callers than I am, but you can't just leave me here to rot. All I wanted was to make jokes and have fun. Was that such a bad thing?"

Lincoln and Clyde look at each other and huddle up. "I don't know Clyde. I mean he did try to get rid of us."

"I don't wanna watch an old man whither away into a pile of dust Lincoln." After thinking it over, they finally come to a decision.

* * *

Back in Lori's room, Lori gets a call once again. "Hello?"

" _1, 2, 3, The 70s called! They want their bed back!"_ Lori's bed disappears as Lori then falls to the floor. Lincoln, Clyde and the master of pranks are laughing at the prank they pulled.

* * *

 **Thanks for listening and stay tuned for more stories.**

 **So long everybody!**


	20. Goodbye old life, hello new friend

**Hey everybody! Now for this chapter, I decided to do one based on the _Arthur_ episode _The Chips are Down_ (and some of the inspiration came from a _Timon and Pumbaa_ episode _Nearly Departed_ ). And as an added bonus, I decided to make this chapter a crossover story. This time, I decided to include the 3 main characters from Rob Renzetti's _My Life as a Teenage Robot_ with one of them, Tuck, interacting with Lola and Lana. Now Tuck has always been my favorite character in the show and he appears to be around the same height and age as the Loud twins, so i thought it would be fun to see them interacting with each other to give the twins someone else to talk to. That and ever since I saw the _MLAATR_ episode _Indes-Tuck-table_ I thought it would be the perfect inspiration. So without further ado, let's begin.**

* * *

The story begins with Lola and Lana are on a field trip with their class on a canyon walk in the desert.

"AAUGH! This is so tedious!" Lola complains "I can't believe we had to come on this stupid field trip! It's hot, it's dry, and my dress is getting all wet from my sweat!"

Lana then gets an idea. "You know. We don't have to stay on the trail. We could go out and explore."

"Ugh! Why do you always have to go do crazy things when you have no idea what can happen?"

"Lola, if I had to think about every reason not to do something, I'd have no reason to do anything. Why do you think I wrestle alligators? Besides anything's better than being stranded in this heat. So what do you say?"

"Fine! But only because I don't want to melt in the sun." The twins go off the trail in search of a resting spot. Finally they find a shady tree. "You know, I gotta hand it to you Lans, this is the perfect spot."

"See? It's just like I told you. You just stick with me and everything is A-OK. Nothing to worry about."

"You know, aside from the heat, this really isn't going so bad. Absolutely _nothing_ can go wrong."

Just then a bright red scorpion with a yellow stripe starts crawling on Lana's arm. It doesn't take her too long to notice. "Oh hey little guy."

Lola is still talking, completely oblivious to what's going on with her sister. "I don't even know what I was so nervous about. I guess I'm lucky to be here with you."

"I think I'll call you Henry, and you shall be mine, and you shall be my Henry. Come here Henry. Come here little Henry." Lana tries to touch the scorpion, but immediately pulls her finger away after it nearly snaps at her.

"Who are you talking to?" Lola then noticed what was crawling on Lana's arm. "AH! Lana! That's a scorpion! Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! Get off my sister!" Lola swats the scorpion off her twin's arm, but the scorpion crawls up and stings Lana's foot. The stinger was so tough and sharp, that it pierced a hole right in the toe cap of Lana's shoe.

"OW!" Lana yells in pain as the scorpion crawls away.

"Lana! You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Lana inspects the small hole in her toe cap. "Aw great! These were my new shoes and already there's a hole in one of them."

"Since when do _you_ care? You're clothes always get messy and ripped all the time."

"I know, but these are my favorite sneakers. I wear them everyday."

"I think you should be more concerned about the scorpion sting. And for the record, if anyone's fussy about clothes, it's gonna be _me_ (and Leni for that matter). But that's not important. So now we know that we know that we, we don't want to mess with these creatures again." Unbeknownst to Lola, the same type of scorpion crawls under Lola dress and prepares to sting. "I mean I can't imagine if I got stung by one of those. If I did, I'd probably flip my lid—OW!" Lola feels the sting on her foot. She looks under her dress and sees the scorpion crawl out and she immediately flipped out. "That crazy thing stung me too! Ooooooo! This is all your fault! If you hadn't insisted on going off the trail, this wouldn't have happened!"

"Calm down Lols. Those things can't kill you unless you're a baby or a senior citizen. We'll probably just feel a little woozy but trust me, we'll be fine. Come on, we'll look for the rest of the class." The two girls go back to the trail to find everyone else.

* * *

Back at the Loud House, Lola and Lana arrive home from the bus. "Hey girls," their mother greets. "How was your field trip?"

"Oh it was great," Lola answered. "Until the part where we—."

Lola was about to confess, but Lana shuts her up by placing her hand over her mouth. "We had fun." She laughed nervously.

"Okay…." Rita looks at her daughters with slight suspicion and then walks away.

Lola takes Lana's hand off her mouth. "What was that for?"

"Lola, we can't tell her what happened. We'll be in trouble for disobedience."

"Well then what do you suppose we do about it, resident zookeeper?"

"Don't worry. I got a first aid kit in our room. Just in case El Diablo bites one of us."

"Okay, seriously. We need to do something about your crazy animal obsession."

"I AM NOT OBSESSIVE!" The twins then run upstairs to their room.

Meanwhile, Lincoln is busy doing an animal report for school. He gets stumped so he decided to ask his genius sister for help. "Hey Lisa, you got a moment?"

"I was working on a scientific breakthrough at the moment, but I guess I could fit you in."

"Perfect." Lincoln entered the young scientist's room and closed the door. "So I was wondering if you could help me with my biology report."

"That depends, just what does the creature in question look like?"

Just then, the twins happen to be walking down the hallway and listen in on Lincoln's conversation with Lisa. "Well you see," they hear him say. "It's about this scorpion. It has a long stinger, and it's dark red with a bright yellow stripe on its back."

"Ah yes. The carcinogenic mustela scorpiones. More commonly referred to as the deadly weasel scorpions."

"So what do you know about them?"

"All I know is that some creatures that get stung by it are just lucky to be alive."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because their stingers are filled with a deadly poison and there's no cure. Once the poison is injected, the victim only has a total of 5 days to live before expiration."

"So it's only a matter of time before they die?"

"That's a more simplified version of what I said, but yes." After hearing that, the twins get so scared, they run into their room, but they left before they could hear the end of the conversation. "But fortunately, humans are completely immune to the venomous stings."

"Whew! That's a relief. It would really stink if we only had 5 days to live. Well thanks for the help Lisa."

"Anytime elder brother." Lincoln leaves the room.

The twins are in their room in a state of panic. "We're dead! That's it! We're dead!" Lola screamed. "I'll never see the light of day again!"

"Hey calm down Lols," Lana Tries to console. "It's not the end of the world. We've still got a few days. Only 5…..short...days of…...oh! Who am I fooling?! This is horrible! We only have a few days left to live and we're just gonna die as two ordinary girls!"

"That's just the beginning. When we're gone, no one will even know who we are. Not only will we die, but we'll die as nobodies."

"Okay. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. I think we need to get an expert opinion."

* * *

The twins are taking a walk in the park, looking for someone. "There's got to be someone who can help us," Lola says. The twins are still searching, when suddenly they spot Lisa's friend from school, Darcy Helmandollar. "Hey look!" Lana shouts. "There's Lisa's friend, Darcy. Let's ask her." The twins run up to do so. "Hey Darcy!"

"Oh hi Lisa's sisters," she responded.

"Listen, we want to ask you something important. What do you know about red scorpions with yellow stripes?"

"You mean the poison ones?"

Lola is shocked at this. "Excuse me. Did you say….poison?"

"Yep. Lisa said that after you get stung by one, you only have 5 days left. Well I gotta go. Nice talking to you." As Darcy leaves, Lola fainted to the ground lying on her back.

"That's it! We're done! These are the last days of our lives. We're dead."

"Come on, Lola. Don't be like that. Even if we only have 5 days to live, you never know when a solution is just gonna fall right out of the sky." Just as Lana says that, something comes flying out of the sky and knocks Lana in the back, face planting her into the ground. The object appears to be a young boy with a red shirt and black spiky hair.

"Now that was quite a landing," the young boy said. He then noticed that he was sitting on a young girl's back and immediately climbs off. "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! I didn't know you were there! Are you okay?"

"I'm okay," Lana said as she got back on her feet. "Nothing I'm not used to. What were you doing anyway?"

"Oh nothing, just swinging. I let go and I guess I didn't see you as I was landing."

"It's probably better that way," Lola laments. "It's not like we matter to anyone."

"What's bugging her?"

"Well you see," her twin explains. "We both each got stung by a weasel scorpion and now we only have 5 days left to live."

"By any chance, this scorpion wasn't red with a yellow stripe on it, was it?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Because that's the same one that stung me a few hours ago!"

"Then you probably have just as much time left as we do."

"So," Lola questions. "Is that really how you wanna spend the rest of your life? Just swinging?"

"Not exactly. I was trying to ride up over the bar."

"Yeah, but you're life is almost finished. Soon you might become this." Lana lies on her back with her tongue sticking out. The young boy then laughs at this.

"Hehe. That's what my big brother looks like when he's sleeping."

"Come on, dude! This is serious! Don't you know what death is? Death is…..well death! And when it comes, that's it! No second chances! As of now we only have 5 days left, which makes 120 hours, that makes about 7,200 minutes which is about…" Lana counts on her fingers. "...432,000 seconds. So we've got to make every second of our lives the best that they can ever be."

The boy then jumped off the swing. "You know, I never thought I'd say this, but you're right."

"Then that's what we're going to do. By the way, I don't think we've seen you around before."

"Yeah I'm actually visiting from another town not too far away. My name's Tucker. Tucker Carbunkle. But you can just call me Tuck."

"Oh. Well nice to meet you. I'm Lana. Lana Loud. And this is my twin sister, Lola."

The three kids each exchange handshakes.

* * *

Day 1:

The three kids are sitting behind a bush. Lola is sighing while Tuck holds a bubble wand up to her mouth and her sighs are making the bubbles come out. Lana is looking quite bored however. "This is tedious.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Her twin exclaimed.

"Guys, these are going to be the greatest moments of our lives, and you just wanna waste them doing _nothing_? We should be living in the moment. We can't just let everything pass us by. We got to live these last few days like anyone of them is our last. For all we know, our lives could end sooner than this. And once we're in our afterlives, all we'll be thinking about is 'why couldn't we have the greatest moments of our lives when we had the chance?' Well this is our chance. Our chance to do things we've never done before, that we may never get to do again."

"Well in that case," Tuck suggests. "I might have an idea."

The kids are at Gus' Games and Grub where Lola and Lana are watching Tuck playing an arcade game and winning. The twins are cheering. "You're doing it! You're gonna beat the high score!" The game finishes and Tuck is the winner. "That was awesome!" Lana cheers. "I don't think I've ever seen anyone beat that game before!"

"Yeah, I'm kinda an old pro at this. I used to beat my brother all the time."

"Well I bet our brother could beat you in a contest."

"Well I'd like to see him try."

Next the kids are playing stick hockey. Tuck is on one team while the twins are on their own team. The game is tied and the twins made the final score. "Hey!" Tuck shouts. "No fair!"

"Ha!" Lola laughs. "Never underestimate the power of two, Carbuncle."

The kids are then sitting down eating pizza. "No way!" Lana argues. "I don't care what you say. The original _Alvin and the Chipmunks_ TV show is way better than the reboot."

"Oh please!" Tuck retaliated. "Can they help it if they're so popular they have to make a comeback? Not every show gets a treatment."

"Come on. Name me one reboot series that's better than the original."

"Uh hello? Obviously the recent season of _Samurai_ _Jack_. The original totally didn't get enough publicity."

"What? That was a continuation, not a reboot."

"You're voice is a reboot!"

"Oh!" Lola laughed. "He got you good Lana!"

"That doesn't even make sense, sister."

"Whatever. At least that season lasted longer than _Planet Sheen_."

"That was a spin-off."

Cut to a montage of the three kids hanging out with each other. Including looking up at clouds, running around a grocery store while riding in a shopping cart, go-cart racing, cheering at a rock concert, laser tag, going to an art museum and then cause a ruckus before being kicked out, and even skydiving.

"Oh boy!" Tuck said in excitement. "That was incredible!"

"Yeah!" Lola agrees. "It's amazing what you can do in just one day."

"I know!" Lana says. "I didn't even think that was possible. But still, I'm not sure if it's enough."

"What do you mean?" Tuck asked. "Wasn't that fun?"

"It's not that it wasn't fun. It was. But we need to do something that's at least ten times as fun. We need to do something big. Really big. Like big plus big multiplied by big to the power of big quadrupled in infinite big."

"Where does your sister get her speeches?"

"Honestly," Lola said. "I'm just as curious as you are."

"I don't know about you guys," Lana continues. "but I'm not gonna stand here, watching my life pass me by, and then pass as someone who will end up being forgotten. We're gonna find something big to do, and once we do, the world will know who we are and we will go down in history! Who's with me!"

"WE ARE!"

The kids cheer for themselves and then head Back home as the sun sets.

* * *

Day 2:

"Lincoln!" Lana barges in on her brothers room.

"Hey Lana. What's up?"

"I need your help!" Lana pulls out a sheet of paper. "You see, I made a list of some goals that I wanna do in my life. I need your help figuring out what I can or can't do. Think you can help me?"

"Let me have a look." Lincoln takes the list and examines it. "Lana, I don't think it's possible for you to take a bite out of the sun. It's atmosphere is warmer than the driest desert in Arizona and it's surface is a million times hotter than a hot dog cooked in side a turkey with habanero sauce. You'd disintegrate."

"Dang it!"

"And you can't drink a whole ocean either. Your stomachs not big enough and all that salt water would make you nauseous."

"Sheesh! And I thought _Lisa_ was the party-pooping-smarty-pants."

"I HEARD THAT!" The young scientist shouts before shutting her door.

"Why do you even want to do these things, anyway?"

"I told you Lincoln. These are goals I wanna be able to complete at some point in my life."

"Yeah, but how soon do you wanna accomplish these?"

"I don't know."

"Well I'm afraid I can't help you then."

"WHAT?! But you have to!"

"Well I need an answer Lana. At least give me an estimate."

"Okay! Okay! How about….3 days?"

"3 days?"

Lana nods.

"Are you sure?"

Lana nods again.

"Okay I can go with that. Let's see. 3 days. Well that's not exactly enough time for you to become a world famous plumber/veterinarian, breakdancing for the president's not gonna work. Take your picture while jumping on a trampoline with your pet frog on all 7 continents? Heh, that actually sounds pretty cool, but no."

"What about visiting the toilet museum?"

"Too pricey."

"Wrestle numerous alligators at once?"

"That would end your life sooner."

"Have the record for inventing the world's biggest plunger and then unclog the world's biggest toilet with it?"

"Unattainable."

"AAUGH! Well what can I do? I have to do something from the list."

"Here's something. Grab the lead role in a ballet performance. You can probably do that in 3 days." Lincoln looks over the list again. "Actually that's the only one you can do in 3 days."

"I'm not sure why I put that on there, but if it's on the list, I'll do it!"

"Are you sure? You hate ballet. You said it's for sissies (no pun intended)."

"Well I don't care. As long as I do something on the list, I don't care what I do."

"In that case, I think I know just the person who can help."

Lana and Lincoln are in Lynn and Lucy's bedroom, with the young jock laughing on her bed uncontrollably. Lana gives her a stern look. "Wait? You're not serious! Are you serious?"

Lana nods.

"You can't be serious! You hate ballet! You said it's for wusses."

"And now I'm saying I don't care! I just need to be able to do it!"

"Well if you insist, I guess I can help. There's this guy I know not too far away from here. I can take you there tomorrow."

"TOMORROW?! Why not now?"

"I'd do it today, but I've got a karate tournament this afternoon. Besides he's really great at what he does. Heck, he could even teach you how to become a pro in less than a day."

"Well, okay. I guess if that's the best you can do, then tomorrow it is." Lana leaves the young athlete's room.

"Wait!" Her brother asks. "Where are you going?"

"I just remembered I have some stuff to take care of. I'll see you guys later." Lana goes out the front door leaving Lynn and Lincoln confused and suspicious.

Meanwhile, Lola is at the Royal Woods library looking at a list of her own. "Let's see. Read to children, donate to charity, right all wrongs…..I'm ready. Let it be known that on this day, Lola Loud will be seen in a different spotlight." Lola goes inside and talks to the librarian. "Yes, hello? My name is Lola Loud and I would like to volunteer for the storybook reading if you please."

"Aren't you a little young to volunteer?"

"I know it appears that way, but I'm very mature for my age. Although it's only fair to warn you, I kinda have a bit of trouble with reading, so please try not to make me read anything too complicated if you don't mind."

"In that case, I know just the book for you." Librarian Wetta hands her a book known as Dr. Seuss' _Green Eggs and Ham._

" _Green Eggs and Ham_?"

"One of the easiest books we have here. It's fun to read and it uses only 50 different words."

"It sounds like a very interesting recommendation. I suppose I could give it a shot."

Lola is reading the book to some preschoolers. She then finishes and the kids are clapping. "Wow. That really was great. I wonder what everyone else is doing."

Somewhere elsewhere, Tuck's older brother, Brad, walks in to check on him, but comes in to find a ton of expensive stuff and his younger brother relaxing on a chair. "Oh hey bro. What's up?"

"Tuck! Where did you get all this stuff?"

"I have my ways."

"What ways?"

"I borrowed Dad's credit card. And a bit of yours."

"Are you insane?!"

"Oh relax will you? It's not like I had to pay for it." Tuck gets out of the chair and walks towards the door.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"I'm just gonna pay a little visit to a few friends of mine. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to be going now." Tuck goes out the door, leaving is older brother alone and confused.

Sometime later, Lincoln is walking around town looking for his two little sisters. "Lola?! Lana?! Where are those girls?" Lincoln keeps searching and accidentally bumped into someone. It appears to be a teenager with spiky hair. "Oh no, sorry about that."

"Oh that's okay sir, no harm done."

"'Sir'? Who you calling sir? I'm only eleven."

"Oh sorry. It's just that-."

"It's the white hair, isn't it?"

"Well kinda. Yeah."

"I know. I get that a lot."

"How did it get like that anyway?"

"I don't know. My hair's been like this for as long as I can remember."

"Well I think it looks nice on you."

"Oh, well thanks. I don't think I've seen you around before."

"Yeah I'm just visiting with a couple friends. I come from a town called Tremorton, not too far away from here."

"Oh. Well then, welcome to Royal Woods. I'm Lincoln."

"Brad. Nice to meet you."

The two then exchange handshakes. "So what are you doing out here, anyway?"

"I'm looking for my brother. Last time I saw him, he was hanging out with two 6 year old girls."

Lincoln stopped in his tracks. "Really? And just what did these 2 girls look like?"

"Well they both had blonde hair. I believe one of them was wearing a pink sparkly dress and a tiara, and the other had overalls and a red baseball hat."

"Lola and Lana."

"You know them?"

"Know them? They're 2 of my sisters. They may be twins, but they're complete opposite."

"Interesting, most twins I see tend to act exactly the same."

"Well not these two. Anyway, I think I'm gonna check back at home. Maybe they're already back there."

"Very well then. Hope you find them."

"Hope you find your brother too. See you Brad."

"You too Lincoln." With that, the two each go their separate ways.

Back at the Loud House, it is late at night and Lincoln is still waiting for his sisters. The twins finally arrived at the front door.

"Where have you been?" Their brother asked.

Lola stammered "Oh, we uh…..just had some…..stuff….. to take care of."

"Uh yeah. That's it," Lana confirmed.

"Well you guys better get to bed. It's late and you have a hard day tomorrow."

"We know Linky," Lola apologized. "We're sorry."

"Yeah," Lana chimes in. "Next time we decide to go out late at night, we'll let you know."

Lincoln is about to argue back but then decided to accept their apology. "Well alright." The three kids then go upstairs to bed.

* * *

Day 3:

Lincoln and Clyde are at the park playing at the chess table. "I don't know what's up with them Clyde. They've been acting really weird. Lana clean up her side of her room and she's been organizing everything in plain sight. And last night, Lola kissed me goodnight."

"That does seem pretty weird."

"You think that's weird? Yesterday Lana wanted to sign up for a ballet recital."

Clyde takes a drink of lemonade but immediately spits it out after hearing what Lincoln just said. "WHAT?! That's insane!"

"I know."

"I mean Lana's the last person I would expect to participate in something like that."

"I know."

"She always said that stuff is for prissy sissies."

"I know."

"Why would she be doing this anyway?"

"That I don't know."

"Hey Lincoln." Just then, Brad and his robot friend XJ9 (Jenny) come in to greet the duo. "Mind if we join you?"

"Sure."

"Uh Lincoln," Clyde asked. "Who are these guys?"

"Oh sorry. This is Brad. He's visiting nearby. Brad, this is my best friend Clyde."

"Good to meet you." The two boys shake hands. "And let me introduce you to one of my friends."

"You can call me Jenny," the robot greets as she shakes Lincoln's hand.

"Oh yeah. I think I've heard about you from a talking blue bird. I think it's kinda cool meeting a robot with a teenage personality."

"Well I think it's kinda cool meeting an eleven years old with white hair."

"Thanks. So what's going on anyway?"

"I'm still concerned about my brother," Brad answered. "He's been acting stranger by the moment. Heck, he bought a lot of expensive stuff with my Dad's credit card."

"Uh Brad? By any chance, is your brother kinda short with a red shirt and black spiky hair?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Cuz that's the same boy that Lola and Lana have been hanging out with."

"I don't get it," Clyde intervened. "Why are they all acting so weird?"

"I don't know exactly, but I do know that I have to take Lana to her ballet lesson. I can't even imagine what Lola's doing."

Lola is at Jean Juan's French Mex Buffet finishing up her meal. "Let's see what's in the newspaper." Lola opens the newspaper and reads what's on the front page. "' _Pageant queen, Lola Loud, gives fantastic performance as a courteous 6 year old.'_ Alright! Nailed it! Totally nailed it!" Just then the waiter comes in. "I say, what a beautiful little lady in the newspaper. Don't you think?"

"Uh, sure. I'll be back in a second with the check." The waiter brings the check to the table and Lola gives him a tip. "Let's see here. I think about 25% tip. That should do it." Lola puts the change in the check and the waiter returns.

"Can I get you any change miss?"

"Oh, no no. It's all for you my good man. Top notch service I must say."

"Wow thanks. Very generous of you."

"And a very good day to you sir." Lola leaves the restaurant, but doesn't notice that Lana is hiding behind a bush. Lola then gets hit in the head with a paper airplane and quickly looks over to see who threw it, but doesn't see anyone. She then takes the paper airplane out of her hair and unfolds it. It reads 'meet me at the following address as soon as possible. There's something I'd like to discuss with you. -your twin sister.' Lola looks suspicious for a minute but then reads the address written on the paper and decides to go there anyway.

Lola arrives at a ballet class. "Now why would Lana be in here?" She thought to herself.

"Hey Lola! Over here!" Lola sees her twin over by the balance beam in a ballet uniform. Lola walks up to her. "Hey sis. Glad you got my message."

"What are you doing here? I thought you—."

"I know, I know. I said this stuff was for prissy sissies, but this was the only thing on my bucket list that I was able to do. Think of it this way, we only have a couple days left, so I'll only get to do this once. Afterwards, I won't have to do it again."

"Okay, but why did you invite me here?"

"Well…. I was wondering if you could join me?"

"Join you? Why?"

"What is this, 20 questions? Are gonna join me or not?"

"Okay. I guess I'll join. But only to see if you'll actually go through with this."

"Good enough for me."

The two girls then hear a familiar voice. "Hey guys."

"Tuck? What are you doing here?"

"I came to join you."

"Wait! They let boys into these things?"

"Well yeah. Apparently. They practically let girls into sports so this really isn't much of a difference."

"Touche."

Just then, the instructor steps in. "Alright class. Time to get started."

"This must be the instructor Lynn told me about," Lana thinks to herself.

"Now I know what you're thinking. But not to worry, this won't take that long at all. As long as you work hard, you can have it done in 2 days. Now we'll start with some simple exercises. Now grab the balance beam and do 20 plies."

The kids did as they were told, but Lana is a bit confused. "What's a plié?" She whispered to her twin.

"Just bend your knees, like this." Lola demonstrates by doing it herself.

"Oh. I can do that." The kids perform plies, and perform them almost perfectly. Except… "Uh, guys. I think I'm stuck." They all look down and see Lana's legs are tangled together. Everyone laughs except for Lola and Tuck.

"Silence! That's enough for today. Get a good night sleep and be prepared.

As the kids are packing up to leave, Lana is busy resting her legs. "I thought this day would never end. I can barely feel my legs."

"It could be that ballet might be a little too intense for you," Lola wondered.

"Well how was I supposed to know that ballet would require a lot of strength?"

"If you don't mind me asking, why are you doing this? I thought you hated girly-girl related stuff."

"Lola, remember when you asked me to be your partner in the Little Miss Prim and Perfect Twin Pageant and I said I didn't want to, but I did it anyway just to make you happy?"

"Uh….yeah?"

"Well, I've been thinking about what you said, and maybe you're right. Maybe our differences do separate us. I wanted to do something we could both do together. I knew I wouldn't like doing this, but I realized that sometimes in life, you have to do things you don't like. And I know I don't like pretty, prissy, girly things, but if I had to spend these last few days of my life with anyone, I'd want it to be you."

"Lana, that's really…..sweet."

"Yeah, if we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it together. Besides, it might be fun."

The twins then hug each other and noticed that Tuck is watching with a tear in his eye. "Tuck?" Lana asks. "What's wrong, kiddo?"

"Nothing Lana. Nothing at all."

"Alright guys, time to go." Lincoln noticed the small boy nearby. "Well hi. You must be Brad's little brother. I'm Lincoln."

"Tuck. Nice to meet you."

Brad comes in. "So Lincoln, I'm guessing these two are your sisters?"

"Yep. That's right. This is Lola and Lana. They're only _2_ of my sisters. I have 8 others."

"Woah! 10 sisters!? I can't even imagine having that many!"

"Yeah I know. It gets stressful sometimes, but it's a family I wouldn't trade for. Anyway, I guess we'll see each other later?"

"Guess so. See you." The boys each take their respective siblings home.

* * *

Day 4:

"Lana. Time to get up."

Lana wakes up in her bed, but her body feels as stiff as a board. "Oh…... my aching…...everything."

Lana looks to her side and sees that Lola and Tuck are standing right next to her bed. "Time for practice."

"Sorry guys, but I'm so stiff and sore from yesterday, I can hardly move. I can't even lift my arm."

"When did you start feeling like this?" Tuck asked.

"I don't know. When I woke up, my body was just too sore to move. How come you guys aren't sore?"

"Perhaps it has something to do with my morning yoga routine."

 _Flashback shows Lola doing yoga while standing on one foot._

"Yeah, and I've got a special stretching routine of my own."

 _Another flashback shows Tuck standing on a counter trying to reach a cereal box._

"Oh, what am I gonna do?" Lana complains. "How am I supposed to practice if I can't even move? I don't get it. I've never had any problems like this before."

"Well perhaps," Lola says. "It could be that ballet might be a little too intense for you."

"Excuse me?! To intense for Lana Loud?! Please! Nothing is too intense for me! If I can wrestle alligators, surely I can handle something as simple as ballet!"

"Your sister wrestles alligators?" Tuck asked in surprise.

"It's a long story," Lola answered. "Look Lana, clearly your muscles need to get used to this. And you're in luck, because I know just the sister who can help."

The kids take Lana down to the basement where Lynn is busy training. Lola is carrying her twin by the arms. "You've come to the right place Lans. I can have your body turned into a finely tuned machine in no time."

Lola lets go of Lana as she tries to stand up, but her legs feel so weak that they start wobbling. Lana grabs onto the stairwell to regain her balance. "Why do my legs feel like jelly?"

"Well Lynn, i think you've got this covered. Take over." Lola and Tuck go back up the stairs and close the door.

"Alright," Lynn instructed. "Time to start our training."

Lana slowly lets go of the stairwell and tries to walk over, but starts to lose her balance and falls to the floor. "Oh…..I can't even stand up anymore."

Lynn helps her sister back on her feet. "Obviously your legs need more workout. You can't perform ballet with chicken legs.

Lana is eating a bucket of popcorn. "Hey! I'm not a chicken!" Lana noticed that she spilled her bucket. "My popcorn!" Lana begins eating the popcorn of the floor by bending down just like a chicken. Lynn looks at her with a stern face. "Okay, I see your point." Lana gets back into position. "I just don't get it. I can handle wrestling, why can't I handle ballet?"

"Lana, ballet is a lot more intense than you think it is."

"Well no kidding."

"Did you know that some of the greatest wrestlers of all time took ballet at some point in their lives?"

"What?! You're kidding! Right?"

"Do I look like a joker?"

"Please Lynn! Tell me you're pulling my leg!"

"I'm not pulling anything. See for yourself."

Lynn hands her sister a page from a biography about a wrestler. Lana starts reading it and comes to realization. "Whoa! I guess you're right."

"Yep, they used it as a way to build their quadriceps and increase their endurance."

"I'm not too sure what that means, but if wrestling champs can do it, then I guess I can give it a shot."

"Good. And while we're at it, you might wanna work on that voice of yours."

"Why? What's wrong with my voice?"

"I'm just saying, you might wanna perfect it if you're gonna sing while dancing in front of everybody."

"Wait WHAT?!"

Lana is back in her room feeling quite nervous. "I can't believe this! Why didn't you tell me I was gonna have to sing?!"

"I thought you knew!" Lola argues. "This performance is a special occasion."

"Lola, aren't you forgetting something? I can't sing! My voice is too rough! I'm just gonna screw up and everyone will laugh at us!"

"Not to worry Lans, because you're in the hands of a wonderful singer. Tell you what, Lynn can be your muscle coach, and I'll be your vocal coach. What do you think?"

"Deal!"

All throughout that day, Lana, Lola and Tuck are busy practicing their routines. Lola and Tuck are practicing their dancing while Lana is busy exercising and practicing her singing. After many hours, it was more than worth it.

"I gotta say Lans, I didn't think you had it in you."

"To be honest, I didn't even know myself. Thanks for the help Lola."

"And remember, tomorrow's the big night. We've still got a lot of practicing to do before we go on so give it your all."

"Don't worry. I will."

* * *

Day 5:

Lincoln and the rest of the Loud family arrive at the Royal Woods Center For The Arts. Once there, they meet up with Brad and Jenny. "Hey kiddo," the teenage boy greets. "So I'm guessing this is your family?"

"Yep," Lincoln answered. "This is my mom and dad and my sisters Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lucy, Lisa and Lily."

"Wow! You weren't kidding when you said you had a big family."

"What can I say? I'm full of surprises." Lincoln turns to his family. "Guys, these are my new friends, Brad and Jenny. She's a robot."

"O-M-Gosh!" Leni says. "I totes love your color scheme."

"You do?" Jenny asked.

"Of course. It's absolutely the perfect shade of blue for you."

"Yeah," Lori agrees. "I almost wish I had that shade of blue."

"Well, thank you." Jenny looks down to see Lisa is examining her.

"Ingenious!" She exclaimed. "Fascinating piece of machinery."

"Uh….is your sister always this obsessive?"

"Lisa's just really passionate about scientific creations," Lincoln answered.

"Well anyway," Brad stepped in. "We better get to our seats. The kids are going on any minute."

"You're right Brad. We better get seated." Everyone goes to find their seats.

Backstage, Lana was looking from behind the curtain and is a bit nervous. "I didn't know there would be so many people out there," she said to herself.

"Okay Lana, ready to go on?" Lola asks.

"I'm not so sure."

"What do you mean?"

"I've never performed in front of so many people before. I'm a bit nervous."

"Listen, I know you're a bit scared. Sometimes I get like that too. But this is our last day on earth, and this will be the last thing we'll ever be able to do. And you worked too hard to let this go to waste."

"You're right Lola! I've gone too far to back out now. If they want a performance, we're gonna give them one that they'll never forget!"

"That's the spirit sis!"

The curtain opens with Lana still looking pretty nervous. But as soon as she spots her family, she takes a deep breath to calm herself down. She begins dancing and singing while Lola and Tuck are dancing right behind her.

When Lana began singing though, she didn't use her regular voice. Thanks to Lola's coaching, she was not only confident, but her singing voice was so soothing, that it nearly brought the audience to tears.

The kids finished their routines and everyone cheered. After the curtain closes, everyone goes backstage to congratulate their siblings. "That was amazing!" Lincoln said. "You guys were fantastic!"

"Thanks Linky," Lola says.

"You know I gotta hand it to you Lana. Your performance was great. You might be able to do it again."

"Thanks Lincoln." Lana looks at the clock to see there's only one minute to midnight. "But I don't think I'll be able to do it again."

"What do you mean?"

"This is the last performance I'll ever do. It's the end for me. And I just wanna say…...even though you're the only one, you're the greatest brother I've ever had."

"And you guys are the greatest sisters we've ever known," Lola said to the other girls leaving them confused. "And I hate to leave this world forever."

The twins then turn over to their new friend. "And Tuck," Lana said. "I know we didn't get a chance to hang out more, but I just wanna say, in the time we've had, you've been a really good friend."

"You guys too. Maybe if we met each other sooner, we could've had more fun."

"Lana," Lola said. "Since this is the end, I just want you to know that no matter what I said, I always kinda liked your animal friends."

"And Lola, one time, I used one of your pageant dresses to clean up Charles' dog pee on the rug."

"Wait, WHAT!?"

The clock is striking 12. "Well this is it!" Tuck says in fear. "Goodbye everybody!" The three kids hug each other tightly as they prepare for the worst. But then a few minutes pass and nothing happened. "Is that it? Is it over? Are we dead?"

"No," his brother exclaimed. "You're still alive, here with us."

"Guys," Lincoln steps in. "What's been going on?"

"Well you see," Lana confessed. "Me, Lola and Tuck got stung by the weasel scorpion and we heard from Lisa that we only had 5 days left to live. So we tried to make the last few days of our lives worth meaningful."

"So the reason you were acting weird was because you thought you were going to die?" The young ones nod their heads. The older siblings look at each other and then laugh.

"What's so funny?"

"You guys weren't poisoned."

"But Lisa said—."

"If you listened until she finished instead of running off, you wouldn't be so scared. And look, I have my report right here." Lincoln takes out a piece of paper and reads it. "'The weasel scorpion's sting is highly venomous, no cure, 5 days to live, however it is a well known fact that the poison is completely harmless to humans and cartoon characters.'"

"So…..we're not gonna die?"

"You're not gonna die."

"We're not gonna die! WE'RE NOT GONNA DIE!" The three kids celebrate, but then pause for a minute. "Wait! You mean we did all that stuff for nothing?"

"Well not exactly. You managed to do something you never thought you would do and it turned out great. In fact, you guys were the best part of the show."

"Well I guess that was pretty fun. And on the bright side, I guess I have time to visit that toilet museum now."

"And speaking of which," Lola interjected. "There's some unfinished business I need to take care of."

"Oh dang."

"YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR RUINING MY DRESS YOU GREASY BUTTERBALL!" Lola chased her twin around in a state of fury.

* * *

The twins are back home in their bedroom. "Lola, I just wanna say….I'm sorry."

"Sorry? For what?"

"For everything. If I hadn't insisted on going off the trail, we never would've gone through all the trouble doing that stuff. It's my fault we both got stung. I'm sorry for ruining everything."

"Ruined it? You didn't ruin anything."

"What do you mean?"

"Everything worked out for us, didn't they? I got more people to like me, you got to try something you've never done before, and we both got to meet a new friend. Not a bad way to spend a week."

"Yeah, come to think of it, that was pretty fun. To be honest, I kinda enjoyed doing ballet."

"And I kinda enjoyed being generous."

"Yeah, it was kinda nice seeing you be nice. But how come you can't act like that more often?"

"I don't know. Sometimes I don't know why I do the things I do. On one hand, I feel great and powerful, but on the other hand, people are terrified of me and keep their distance. And sometimes….I'm worried that no one would wanna hang out with me. Not even you."

"Lola, you're my twin. I care about you no matter what. I know you can be mean and bossy sometimes, but that's only because you do things the only way you know how. Like me. Sure, there might be people who see you as a monster, even in our family, but I know that deep down, there's good inside of you, and if you can just bring that out of you more, everything will be much better. I don't care what other people say. I'll make you a deal: you try harder to bring the good side of you out, and I'll try harder to keep an open mind. And it'll be our little secret. A _twin_ secret. Deal?"

"Deal." The two exchange handshakes, when suddenly, the doorbell rings.

"I'll get it!" Lana runs to get the door. She opens it, only to be greeted by an old friend. "Tuck? What are you doing here?"

"I came over to thank you."

"For what?"

"Well, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have become a ballet star with you guys. And despite many people considering it a female dominated fine art performance, I actually kinda liked it."

"Yeah, I did too. I never knew that ballet required such skill, talent and strength. But of course, we're never doing it again, right?"

"No way!"

"So, wanna comes to the backyard? We've got a nice mud puddle we can wrestle in."

"Sounds great." The two kids run to the backyard, while Lincoln is watching them on the couch.

"I'll never understand how those kids became friends."

* * *

 **Now that certainly was a long story. If you're wondering why I included other Nickelodeon characters in the fanfic, well I actually do have a reason. Well actually a couple of reasons. One of them is that ever since I saw the 3 _Jimmy Timmy Power Hour_ crossovers, I kept having theories that all the cartoon worlds exist in the same universe, but in different locations. That and because I wanted them to have their recognition back. And seeing as how the _Loud House_ is one of Nickelodeon's most popular cartoon shows and the fact that there are many fans of the show who grew up in the late 90s and early 2000s, I would consider this a second chance for other cartoons to be remembered. With all that said, yes, I do plan to include more crossover chapters, but they will mainly be Nickelodeon characters. If you have any suggestions for crossover characters, I'd like to see them. Also I would like to add that I plan to make much longer stories as crossovers in the Nickelodeon Tooniverse. Yes they will include the _Loud House_ , yes, they may include other cartoons as well, yes it may be similar to _Who Framed Roger Rabbit,_ maybe they'll include an original character and no I'm not sure when they will be published, but if you would like to see them, let me know. And if you have any questions about them, feel free to ask. With all that said, thanks for reading, and I'll see you next time.**

 **So long everybody!**


	21. The Guardian of Secrets

**Now here's an epilogue story. Before we start this, I have a few things to say. Ever since I saw the episode Not a Loud, I tend to see Lincoln in a different perspective (like someone who deserves more respect). And while his birth story would explain where he got his name from, I did find it a little hard to believe. But that got me thinking, what if Lincoln's sisters DIDN'T actually know the real story and what would happen if they found out and what if Lincoln actually had a reason to tell them? So to add in a little excitement, I used a few elements from the _Regular Show_ episode Diary as well as _The Amazing World of Gumball_ The Secret, and _Spongebob SquarePants'_ The Secret Box. By the way, I won't say what Lincoln's birth story is because I don't want to spoil it for those who haven't seen the episode. And since it'll be revealed at the end, I highly recommend you watch the episode before reading this story. With all that said, enjoy.**

* * *

The Loud siblings are looking through their picture books on the couch and laughing at the memories they've had. "There's me, looking handsome," Lincoln said.

"And there's _me_ ," Lola said. "Looking _beautiful_."

"And here's a picture of the first time I started going out with Bobby," Lori observed.

"Do you have any pictures of his father in there too?" Lincoln asked.

"I know I took one," Lori thought. "But I think I got my thumb in it."

"Oh well."

"You know I gotta hand it to you Link," Luan said. "Looking through some of our old memories was a great idea."

"Yep. Couldn't have said it better myself."

"Well," Leni steps in, "remember that time when we were working at a park and our boss was a gumball machine?"

Everyone stares at Leni in confusion. "Uhhh…..Leni, that was a TV show," Lincoln confirms.

"Really? Even the one with that sponge and starfish?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"The furry monsters and that giant yellow bird?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"Those talking vegetables that sing and tell stories?"

"All television shows."

"Oh. Well it still seems fun. But one thing's for sure, our baby pictures are still fun to look at." Leni holds up a stack of baby books.

"Well, can't argue with that."

The siblings are looking through the baby pictures when they finally got to Lincoln's baby book. They open it to find out Lincoln's birth story, but finds that there's nothing written in it. "What?" Lola said with surprise. "The pages are blank!"

"They're all blank!" Lynn interjected. "How'll we find out how Lincoln was born?"

"Don't worry," Lana said. "I'm sure Mom and Dad already told him. So Lincoln, what happened when you were born?"

"Uhhh….." Lincoln just starts getting nervous.

"What's the matter?" Leni asked. "Don't you know?"

"Yeah I know. But…"

"Didn't our parental units inform you?" Lisa questions.

"Yeah they told me. It's just that…."

"So why don't you tell us?" Lola demanded.

"I…..uhh….it's a secret!"

"Come on Lincoln, you can tell us," Lynn assured.

"I…..um…...uhhh…...I can't tell you!"

"Why not?"

"Because I'm…...tired! Yeah that's it! I'm really tired! I think I'm gonna head off to bed!"

"But it's only 7 o'clock."

"Yeah well…..looking through those books really wore me out. So if it okay, I'm gonna get an early head start on my siesta. See you guys!" Lincoln runs upstairs leaving his sisters confused and suspicious.

* * *

Lincoln rushed into his room and finds the walkie talkie on his dresser. "Come in Clyde! Come in! It's Lincoln!"

"What's up buddy?"

"I've got a problem! My sisters and I were looking through our baby pictures and now they want to find out about my birth story!"

"So? What's wrong with that?"

"Don't you remember? It's top secret! Mom and Dad made an agreement that they would never discuss it!"

"They told us, didn't they?"

"Yeah, but they told me so that I'd know if I'm a member of the family or not. And the only reason they told you was because you happened to be with me. I can't tell them the truth! What if they tell anyone else? What if I get taken away forever?!"

"Lincoln! Calm down! It'll be fine. As long as nobody finds out the truth, it'll be alright. And if your sisters ask, just say you don't wanna answer. No matter how hard they try."

"You know? That could actually work. As long as I keep quiet, everything will be fine. Thanks buddy."

"No problem Lincoln." Clyde hangs up and Lincoln rests on the bed.

* * *

Later that night, the girls are having a meeting in Lori's room. As always, Lori uses her shoe as a gavel. "Okay, I think it's pretty obvious why we're all here."

"To find out Lincoln's birth story," Lisa explains. "Perhaps we can piece together some clues to uncover the mystery. Do any of you recall what happened when Lincoln was delivered?"

"Well I remember that Lincoln was brought in by some sort of a scientist," Lori answered.

"And I remember that Mom and Dad were expecting another girl," Luan added.

Luna chimed in. "And after he was brought in, there were a bunch of men in black suits."

"All I remember was that he was brought in by an eagle," Leni claims. But everyone stares confused.

"...ooooooookay. Lynn?" Lisa asked. "How about you?"

"Actually, I don't really remember anything since I was like 2 years old at the time."

"Obviously Lincoln's hiding something," Lola announces, "and it's up to us to make him confess."

"Why are you so obsessed with finding out Lincoln's secret anyway, little miss nosey sash?" Lynn taunted.

"I told you not to call me that! And I'm not obsessed! I just wanna know if Lincoln's really a Loud or not."

"Well maybe Lincoln's a different kind of Loud," Lana wonders.

"Maybe he's not a Loud at all."

"Maybe that's a good thing."

"Well maybe he's adopted. That would explain the white hair."

"Or maybe Lincoln is an alien, or a mutated creature."

"Lana, you're just being weird."

"Well _you're_ being a spoilsport."

"You're being mean," Leni adds.

"And _I'm_ being hilarious," Luan jokes. "Get it?"

"Get serious Luan!" Lola demands. "Look, Lincoln's got something to hide, and I'm not gonna rest until his secret slips out."

"In that case," Lynn pondered. "I know just the thing to make him crack."

* * *

The next morning, Lincoln's in the living room playing video games when Lynn comes in with a plate of nachos. "There you go bro."

"What's the occasion?"

"Come on. Can't a girl do something nice for her baby brother once in a while?"

Lincoln looks suspicious. "Does this have anything to do with my secret by any chance?"

"I don't know. _Does_ it?"

Lincoln is still suspicious as he takes a bite of the nachos. "You're just giving this to me so I'll tell you my secret, aren't you?"

"Oh I am, _am_ I?"

"You are, _aren't_ you?" Just then, Lincoln starts gasping as he feels something spicy running down his throat. His face starts turning red and he starts sweating incessantly. "Uh Lynn, did you do something to this food?"

"I don't know. _Did_ I?"

Smoke comes out of Lincoln's mouth as it begins burning. "HOT! HOT! SPICY, SPICY HOT! I NEED WATER!"

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Lincoln runs into the kitchen to get water from the sink, but finds that it's tight. Lynn comes in with Lana's wrench in her hand. "Tap's pretty tight, isn't it?" Lincoln then runs to the fridge to get a beverage, but failed to find one. "Aw, looks like the drinks are all gone." Lynn then holds up a glass of milk. "Oh wait a minute. What's _this_? Looks like a glass of cool, refreshing milk. You want it?"

"GIVE IT HERE! GIVE IT HERE!"

"Spill the beans!" Lincoln refuses. "Oh well, have it your way." Lincoln keeps trying to get the glass of milk from Lynn, but she continues to tease her brother. She then puts the glass on the floor as Lincoln tries to grab it, but just as he gets close enough to it, she moves it farther away. Lincoln then faints on the floor and fire comes out of his mouth. Lynn finally picks up the glass and splashed the milk into his mouth to put out the flame. "Aaugh! The things I do for siblings," she grumbled.

Lincoln's mouth finally feels relieved as he picks himself off the floor. "Ahhh. Much better. Thanks Lynn."

"You're welcome," she groaned.

* * *

Later, Lincoln is on his way to use the bathroom. Both Lori and Leni step out of it. "Oh Lincoln, there you are! We have the shower ready for you, just for being such a wonderful brother."

"Okay. Thanks. But what about my…."

"We have your loofah ready for you." Lori hands Lincoln his loofah. "And please, take all the time you need little bro."

"Okay, you guys are being way too nice today. Nice try, but you not getting a single peep out of me if that's what you're looking for."

"Don't be ridiculous. We're just looking after you the same way we always look after our favorite brother."

"I'm your _only_ brother. Whatever." Lori and Leni leave Lincoln alone and Lincoln looks to the audience. "I know what you're thinking. Yes, I know what they're trying to do. No, I'm not gonna tell them my secret. Just because I'm the only boy doesn't mean I'm an idiot. This is just between us. Now if you'll excuse me." Lincoln goes into the bathroom and shuts the door.

* * *

Lincoln is watching television and Lynn and Lana are watching from upstairs wearing ninja clothes. "I don't know Lynn. How do you know this will work?"

"Trust me Lana, this is foolproof. We'll just sneak over and catch him by surprise. We're gonna force his secret out of him, but we'll try not to hurt him too much."

"Oh well that's good."

"Okay now. Remember, don't make any noise."

Lana nods, and the two sneak downstairs. Lana then noticed that Lincoln was watching a show about ninja fighters. She goes behind the couch and starts imitating what's on the TV. Soon Lynn joined in and both of them start pretending to fight each other (by kicking and punching) like ninjas. As soon as the show reached a commercial break, the two girls get ready to pounce on Lincoln, but he immediately stopped them. "If you're asking me again, forget it."

"How'd you know we were here?" Lana asked.

"Your reflection in the window," Lincoln points to the window and the girls see their reflections in it. "And all that loud swooshing."

"You're not gonna tell us, are you?" Lynn asked.

"Nope."

"Aaugh!"

* * *

Lincoln is busy playing a video game when he sees a shiny watch swinging in front of his face. He looks and sees Lana sitting right next to him and sees Lola standing on top of his head holding the watch. "You are getting very sleepy. But not _too_ sleepy to talk to your sister."

"Lola, what are you doing?"

"Don't talk. Just look at the shiny watch. Do not resist." Lincoln is completely unaffected and unamused by Lola's hypnosis trick, but Lana finds herself unable to resist. As she watches the watch move back and forth, she begins to feel drowsy and falls under the trance. "You will listen to me. You want to tell me your secret."

"No, what I _want_ if for you to stop asking and leave me alone."

"Ugh! Fine." Lola puts the watch in her pocket and hops of the couch. "Come on Lana. Let's go."

" _Yes my master_." Lola walks away and Lana, being completely hypnotized, follows her, holding her hands out like a mesmerized zombie.

* * *

During lunch time, the Loud siblings are at the dining room table with the girls still trying to find out Lincoln's secret. "Okay," Lana whispered. "I've got an idea. If Lincoln won't tell us directly, maybe I could try reading his mind."

"You're crazy," her twin Lola argued. "If your ridiculous attempts didn't work before, what makes you think it's gonna work now?"

"Oh it'll work. Trust me. Just gotta focus." Lana holds her hands up to her head and starts staring intensely at Lincoln in an attempt to read his mind. Lincoln takes note of this and is not amused.

"Lana if you're trying to read my mind, it's not gonna work. Believe me, I've tried." Lana is still straining as Lincoln gets out of his chair and walks away. "You're gonna hurt yourself if you keep doing that."

Lana is still struggling. As Lincoln is walking farther away, Lana tries harder and harder, but all her struggling causes her to accidentally let one rip, making her blush in embarrassment. "That was smooth Lans," Lola said unenthusiastically. " _Really_ smooth."

* * *

Lincoln is now in his bedroom reading a comic. Luan then comes in with something behind her back. "Hey Lincoln."

"Give it up Luan. I'm not telling you my secret."

"Don't be ridiculous. I'm not gonna ask you for that. I just wanted you to know that if you don't wanna tell us, we won't force you."

"Really?"

"Really. And to prove it, I'd like to give you this." Luan pulls out a stuffed rabbit toy with a microphone in its left paw.

"Thanks, I guess. I'm just glad we can put this all behind us."

"So do I. Well, gotta go. See ya." Luan rushes out of her brother's room and Lincoln places the toy on his nightstand. All of a sudden, the toy begins talking. " _Hello Lincoln_."

"Huh? Who are you? How can you talk? How do you know my name?"

" _Oh that's not important_." The voice appears to be coming all the way across the hallway inside Lori's room where Lola is talking into a microphone in a sweet voice while all the other sisters are listening. " _Let's just say, I'm an old friend to everybody. Speaking of which, you sure look like you have a lot on your mind._ "

"Yeah, I kinda do. You see, my sisters have been bugging me all day. They keep wanting me to tell them my secret."

" _Oh they have, have they?_ "

"Yeah. Sometimes I just don't think they get the importance of secrets. I mean they are _mine_ and I have a right to decide whether I should tell someone or not."

" _Well maybe you can tell me. It's not like there's anyone around to hear you._ "

"I don't know."

" _Come on. You can trust me."_

"I've said too much already."

" _Go ahead! Tell me!_ "

"I couldn't possibly!"

" _TELL ME NOW! NOW!_ "

"Okay! I'll tell you! I accidentally knocked Lola's toothbrush into the toilet and then I put it back on the counter but I forgot to wash it!"

Just as Lola heard that, she immediately runs out of the room screaming at the top of her lungs. "That was a lot to get off my chest. But seriously, Lola would pummel me if she found out."

* * *

That night, Lola is in Lincoln's room hiding under the bed with a microphone headset. "He's not saying anything!" Lola whispers. "And it's 10 o'clock in the evening and I'm tired!"

Lana talks on the other end from inside her room. " _Lola, I'm telling you. Whatever it is, he'll say it in his sleep. You can't give up._ "

Lola then hears Lincoln talking in his sleep. "Wait he's saying something! This is it!"

"No! No! Get away!" Lincoln mumbled. "I'll never tell you my secret! It's top secret! I can't tell anyone!"

Lola repeated what Lincoln is saying into the microphone. "It's top secret, Linky can't tell anyone….."

"Because…."

"Because…"

Lincoln knows that Lola is listening and says something completely unexpected. "Because Lola is a dodo head!"

"Because Lola is a dodo head." Lola repeats that into the microphone and Lana is heard laughing uncontrollably. "Stop laughing Lana!"

* * *

In the morning, downstairs, the sisters are discussing what happened last night. Luan can't stop laughing at what Lola said. "He said what?!"

"Stop that laughing! It's starting to get on my nerves! And if you think I'm just gonna let it go and give up, think again! Lincoln gonna slip up sometime, and when he does, we'll finally find out he's secret."

"Or maybe we'll find out that Lucy's head looks like a giant rock with mud on it, snore snore," Lana said sarcastically.

"Not that I don't find that comment offensive," Lucy adds. "But why don't we just give up. He won't tell us and we've tried everything."

Lola gets a mischievous grin on her face. "There's one thing we haven't tried." Lola walks over to her brother who is sitting on the couch watching television. "Linky? Can you _please_ tell us your birth story?"

"No."

"Okay." Lola walks a few steps away before turning back around. " _Pretty_ please?"

"Uh-uh."

"I said _please_! And you know I don't say that too often."

"The answer is still no."

"Come on Lincoln," Lynn complains. "We're your sisters. You can tell us anything."

"Yeah," Lana agrees. "You could just let it slip out, or whisper it in our ears or we can play a guessing game until we get the answers."

"I'm sorry guys. I can't tell you. It's top secret. So just let it go."

"Come on Link," Luan begs as Lincoln goes upstairs to his room. "Can't you just give us _one_ clue?"

"No."

"A hint?"

"No."

"A small detail?"

"No."

Lincoln goes into his room and closes the door. But then his phone starts ringing. "Hello?"

"How about a game of hangman?"

"How about a game of hang _up_!" Lincoln hangs up his phone. He then opens the door and sees all the girls chattering and begging all at once. Lincoln is finally fed up with it and begins to snap.

"ENOUGH!" The girls are shocked at that sudden outburst. "I'm sick and tired of you guys pestering me all day! Why do you think it's so important to know my birth story? The only thing that's important to know is that I'm a part of this family! So why don't you give it up and just leave me alone!?" Lincoln growled before entering his room and slamming the door. He opens the door one more time. "Sorry for yelling." He then shuts the door leaving the sisters alone.

"Welp!" Lana said. "I'm out of ideas."

"So are we," the other sisters (except Lola) agreed.

"You want to give up now?" Lola said exasperated. "When we're this close to figuring it out? After everything we've been doing?"

"This was _your_ idea Lola," her twin claims. "We just followed you."

"I don't care! We still deserve to know!"

"Lola! Wake up!" Luna shouts. "Did you not see the way he blew up at us? We kept pestering him even after he told us to stop!"

"Yeah," Luan agreed. "I've never seen Lincoln so mad before."

"Eh," Lynn shrugged. "It's happened a few times."

"Look," Lori ordered. "Maybe we should just leave him alone for a while. We'll apologize to him once he's cooled down."

"Are you saying we should just give up?! Excuse me! But Lola Loud doesn't give up! Especially when it involves discovering secrets."

"Where's the secrets book when you need it?" Lucy thinks to herself.

Lola is surprised at what Lucy just said. " _What_ secrets book?"

"Nevermind. There's no such thing. And even if there was, you wouldn't be allowed to go near it."

Lola pouts, then gets an idea. "And just what is so important about the book anyway?"

"You see, not too long ago, I had a magical book of secrets. Every one of our secrets are in that book. Unfortunately, they are meant to be unseen and henceforth protected at all costs."

"Well, why don't we just find it and look in it?"

"Absolutely not! Secrets are a force to be reckoned with. Nobody's allowed to look in that book, not even me."

"But-."

"Forget it. You won't be able to handle it. There's somethings in this world that aren't meant to be revealed."

"Ugh! Fine!"

* * *

That night, everyone is asleep in their beds, but Lola is still awake wondering about Lincoln's secret. "What could it possibly that Lincoln doesn't want us to know? Maybe he's the world's only eleven year old with white hair. Or maybe Lincoln's a spy from secret agency. Or maybe Lincoln's a radioactive experiment created by a mad genius scientist! Or even worse…...maybe he's an alien invader come to destroy the planet! AAAHHH! I can't take it anymore! I gotta find out what Lincoln's hiding, and I'm not gonna sleep till I do!"

Lola then gets a mischievous idea. "That's it! How else do you find out a secret? Secretly of course! It's so simple! I'll just find that sacred secrets book while everyone's sleeping, look inside, find out Linky's secret, and before anyone has any time to notice, I'll just put it back where I found it. No one will know and I'll have my own little secret. Good idea, don't you think Hops?"

Hops just shook his head no.

"Oh why do I even ask you? You and your animal friends don't know anything. No wonder you hang out with Lana all the time."

Lola sneaks out of her room and into Lucy's room. Lucy is talking in her sleep. "That's far enough. I've had it up to here with you egotistical chipmunk. You think you're so cool but you never learn anything."

"There there, Lucy. Everything's worked out. I'll take care of that little rodent problem as soon as possible."

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it. Oh! By the way! Where's that secret book you were talking about before?"

"In a secret vault in the basement. But don't tell Lola."

"Oh trust me. I wouldn't dream of it." Lola sneaks out of the room and heads down stairs to the basement. Once there, she finds a secret vault hidden beneath the wall. "Wow. I didn't even know this was in there." Lola sees that the lock has a keypad on it. "Oh I see. You don't want anyone going in. Well guess what, you can't keep a secret from Lola Loud. I can crack the code in no time." Lola types in L-O-L-A, but it turns out to be wrong and the keypad gives her a shock on her finger. "OUCH! Okay so that wasn't it. But lucky for me, I know lots of other combinations."

Lola tries typing in the other sisters names, including Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lana, Lisa and Lily, but every time, the wrong code gives Lola a shock. "Ugh! Why couldn't I just ask Lucy for the access code!" Lola then realizes. "Wait a minute! That's it!" Lola types in L-U-C-Y, and the code turns out to be correct. The vault door then opens and Lola steps inside. "Ha! Eat on that, Luce! Nobody keeps secrets from Lola Loud!" Lola looks around and sees numerous shelves filled with items. "Whoa! This has like every single juicy secret known to mankind! And in complete alphabetical order, look at that. Let's see….Q, R, S." Lola finds a small bottle with a label on it. " _'Sounds that make neighbors upset?'_ " Lola pulls the cork off the bottle and then it lets out the sound of Spongebob's signature laugh. She then tosses it to the side and finds a folder. " _'Lana's favorite places to be scratched?'_ " Lola reaches into the file.

Back at the Loud House, Lori is sitting in her bed with Lana scratching her back. Lori turned around. "What are you doing?"

"Scratching," Lana answers.

Back in the vault, Lola tosses the file over her shoulder. "Aagh! All these secrets are useless!" Out of the corner of her eye, she spots something glowing all the way down the hall. She goes over to it and finds that it's the sacred book of secrets. "This must be it!" Lola opens the book and a bunch of ghostly spirits come out of it. The book then flies out of her grasp and a bright light arises from it. the light turns into the shape of a giant beast. Lola feels terrified and immediately dashed out of the vault and back into her own bed.

Lucy wakes up from her bed in surprise, which wakes up the others. "What's up, dutchess?" Her roommate asked.

"I'm not sure. I feel a disturbance in our universe. Did anyone go into our secret vault?"

"No."

"I didn't even know we had a secret vault," Lincoln explained.

Just then, everyone looks at Lola, waiting for her answer. "What?!" Everyone still gives her a stern look. "Alright fine! There's a chance I might have gone to take a peak in that book maybe."

"Lola!" Lucy exclaimed. "Do you have any idea what you done?!"

Just then a loud rumbling comes from outside. The Louds rust out of the house and see a giant figure heading towards them. It appears to have flames surrounding it and it was a combination of each of the Loud siblings, including Lori's hairstyle, Leni's sunglasses, Luna's boots, Luan's skirt and flower, Lynn's jersey and ponytail, Lucy's black and white striped sleeves, Lana's hat and pigtails, Lola's sash and necklace, Lisa's glasses, Lily's tooth, and to top it all of, the turkey tail of Lincoln's white hair.

"What is that thing?!" Lincoln exclaimed.

"That's what I was trying to warn you about," Lucy explained. "When Lola opened the book…."

"I said _maybe_ opened it! _Maybe_!"

"She released the guardian of everyone's secrets."

"What do we do?" Lincoln asked.

"There's only one thing to do. Each of us must reveal a secret of our own, otherwise it'll destroy us all. I'll go first." Lucy takes a deep breath and reveals her biggest secret. "The truth is…. _I_ was the one who clogged the toilet. I went to read that Princess Pony book in the bathroom to get away from the darkness. The reason why Lincoln took the blame was so that I wouldn't be teased by all of you. Since he missed his convention, I made him a comic myself and gave it to him so that I'd never forget what he did for me." The secret works as the guardian's flame begins to go out and it shuts off for a second before resuming.

"Wait!" Leni intervenes. " _You_ were the one who clogged the toilet?"

"And we literally teased _Lincoln_ for it?

"Guys!" Lincoln interjected. "Lucy can't help it. She's more fragile than I am. But we've got an even bigger problem at the moment."

"Lincoln's right! You guys reveal your secrets!"

"Okay," Luna says. "Sometimes when we're supposed to be cleaning out the rain gutters, we go out on a snack break instead."

"Yeah that's good," Lynn adds. "And a lot of the time, I don't even _eat_ anything. I just don't feel like cleaning out the gutters." The secrets don't seem to be working. "Why isn't it working?"

"It has to be something meaningful!" Lucy clarified. "Unless you reveal a deep secret, we're done for!"

"It looks to me like we're going to be blasted to oblivion anyway," Lisa lamented.

"Lori, there's something I gotta tell you," Leni admits. "Remember that time when your teacher found an embarrassing picture in your school yearbook and you said you didn't do it? That was _me_."

"WHAT?! Do you know what I went through?!"

"It was an accident. The photo just slipped out of my hand. I was gonna tell you but I got scared." The guardian's fire starts to go out.

"Okay Leni I forgive you! And I have something to confess! Remember all those times you heard a noise and I said it was my shoes? I was _me_! I was just afraid to admit it so that no one would laugh at me!" The guardian shuts down again but turns back on and resumes. "Lana! Lola! Your turn!"

"Okay! Sometimes I have trouble reading so I need glasses to do it!" Lola admitted.

"I ate a donut out of the trash!" Lana confessed.

"I like wearing shoulder pads…..occasionally!"

"I actually _like_ the taste of donuts better when they're from the trash!"

"Sometimes I hide Lana's hat because I think it's funny when she's looking for it!"

"And I sometimes glue all of Lola's tiaras together!"

"Sometimes I think it's kinda fun when Lana's playing in the mud, but I'm afraid to do it because I don't like getting dirty!" The monster still proceeds.

"Lola! Remember that time when your clothes were soaking wet and I told you that there was a flood? I lied! I dropped them in the toilet when I was fixing a pipe in the bathroom! I'm sorry sis! I just forgot to wash them!"

"Are you serious?" The flame starts to go out again. "Okay I forgive you! And…..sometimes I wear a retainer while I'm sleeping so that my teeth look perfect for upcoming pageants!" The guardian shuts off once again, but the flames ignite again. "Everyone! Say something!"

"Okay," Luna complies. "I like to sing along to really bad pop music!"

"And I like to watch a lot of bad animated movies!" Luan adds.

"No! It has to be _deeper_ than that!" Lucy instructed.

"Very well!" Lisa compromised. "This will possibly scar me for life but…... I tend to suck my thumb to ease my stress!"

"Sometimes!" Luan adds. "I tell jokes in my sleep and record them on tape!"

"The Sam I wrote a letter to is a girl!" Luna admits.

"The reason I act tough is because I'm afraid of being bullied by others." All those secrets cause the guardian's fire to go out more, but there's still one person left. "Alright Lincoln!" Lynn shouts. "It's up to you now!"

"What do I say?"

"Just say anything bro!" Luna ordered.

"Okay! I like reading comics in my underwear because I think it's more comfortable that way!" It doesn't work, as the guardian still proceeds.

"It has to be something _deep_!" Lucy cried.

"I didn't want to tell Dad I broke his disco ball because I knew he'd be furious if he found out! I tried to hook up my teacher with my gym coach one time! I posted embarrassing videos of my sisters online just to win a contest! I get all woozy whenever I try woodworking! I lied about being on the football team! And even though Ronnie Anne and I are just friends, I dream that one day our relationship could develop more!" All those secrets don't seem to have any effect. "It's not working! Why isn't it working!?"

"You need more secrets!" Lori demanded.

"But that's all the secrets I have!"

"Wait a minute. That's all the secrets except for….. the one that started this whole mess in the first place. Lincoln! You have to tell us your birth story!"

"What?! But I can't!"

"You have to! Otherwise we'll all be destroyed!"

"But it's too big a secret!"

"Lincoln!" Lynn shouts. "Forget your secret and say something! It's the only way to save everyone!"

"But—! But—! I….I…..ALRIGHT! FINE! I'll tell you! The truth is…. I was born…... in the president's limo." The sister are left both stunned and surprised by what their brother said and Lincoln's secret made the giant disappear into thin air. Everything in Royal Woods is now back to normal and Lincoln approaches his sisters very slowly. "Guys, I have something to tell you…."

* * *

"...and that's what really happened." Lincoln had finished telling the girls his birth story, which leaves the girls surprised.

"Dude," Luna said. "That was TOTALLY WICKED!"

"Yeah!" Lynn said in excitement. " _You_ were born in the president's limousine?!"

"That would indeed explain the name choice," Lisa confirms.

"I literally cannot believe that our own brother was delivered by the First Lady," Lori said.

"I know!" Lola agrees. "Looks like I gotta whole lot more respect for you now."

"Wait a minute," Lana questions. "If you knew the whole time, then how come you didn't tell us? We're your family."

"I would've told you, but I couldn't. You see, after I was born, Mom and Dad made an agreement with the president saying that they would never discuss it with anyone. They only told me so I would stop thinking that I was adopted. I had to lie because I thought if I told anyone my secret, they'd have to take me away from you forever. I didn't want to lose you guys."

The girls finally realized why Lincoln had to keep the secret. "Oh Lincoln," Lori comforts. "You don't have to worry about that. We'll always be here for you."

"Yeah!" Luna agreed. "We'll always have your back, bro."

"And if anyone tries to take you away," Lola says. "They'll have to deal with us first."

"We're just glad you're actually one of us," Lana said.

"Yeah!" Lynn agrees. "Hey, listen. Sorry we kept pestering you. But you don't have to worry about that anymore. Your little secret is safe with us."

"You mean it?"

"Yep."

"And to ensure that….." Lisa brings out a legal document and a pen and placed it onto the coffee table. "By signing this contract, we, The Loud siblings, must agree to keep the secret to ourselves and to never reveal it to anyone outside of the house."

"And this rule applies to everyone?" Lincoln asks.

"Yes. Everyone."

"Even Lola?" Lana asked.

"HEY!" Her twin shouts.

"Especially Lola."

"And what happens if anyone breaks the rule?" Lincoln questioned.

 _"_ If one person tells, they shall break the bond between us all _."_

"Oh. Okay. I guess that'll do it. I suppose as long as it's a legal document, you can't go wrong. So you bet I'll sign." Lincoln and all the girls sign the document.

* * *

Sometime later, Lincoln is talking with his parents. "So now your sisters know all about your secret?" His mother asked.

"Yes. I'm really sorry I broke the promise. But I had no other choice. If I didn't spill the beans, we'd all be destroyed."

"Well kiddo," his father exclaimed. "I suppose they had to find out eventually. The important thing is, are _you_ okay?"

"Yeah. …... I am! I feel like a burdens been lifted off my shoulders. I never thought I'd say this, but spilling that secret really felt good."

"You're still not gonna tell anyone, are you."

"Of course not. And we even signed a legal document saying we'll keep it just between us. I'm just glad I can put this whole thing behind me."

"Us too, sweetie."

"But I still have one question. I know I'm officially your son, and why you gave me my name, but….where did my white hair come from?"

"Oh that's easy. You see…." Rita whispers into Lincoln's ear and Lincoln is surprised by the answer.

"Whoa! Really?" Rita nods. "How come you never told me before?"

"You never _asked_ before."

"Oh."

* * *

Lincoln is now in his room resting on the bed. "Well, looks like everything worked out," he says to the audience. "Of course, my sisters know my secret now, but the good news is that I can trust them not to tell anyone about it. Well maybe they'd have to keep a sharp eye on Lola and Leni but still. At least now they know that I'm officially a Loud and I can finally put this whole mess behind me." Lincoln then hears a knock at the door. He opens it to see his sisters standing in the doorway.

"Lincoln, we came to apologize," Lynn admits.

"Yeah," Lana agrees. "We're really sorry we kept bugging you. You had a reason to keep your secret and we shouldn't have been pestering you about it."

"It's okay guys," Lincoln replied. "I forgive you. I was just afraid that if I told anyone my secret, I would never get to see you again."

"Eh," Lynn replied. "It's not like anyone would believe you if you did."

"Don't worry Lincoln," Lucy assured. "Your secret is safe with us."

"Yeah," Lana agreed. "We promise, we won't tell anyone. No matter what."

All the sisters nod in agreement. "In fact," Lori announced. "The Loud family has a new rule. From now on, any secrets that are too personal or important are allowed to be kept in silence, and no one else is allowed to draw them out without permission. Although who's idea was that anyway?" Lori then comes to a realization and then turns to Lola. "Oh yeah! I remember."

Everyone gives a stern look at Lola, who then looks nervous. "Uhhh…...hehehe. Well it's been fun but I…..uh….gotta run. See ya!" Lola makes a dash out the front door and out into the streets. The siblings then follow.

"Where do you think you're going? Come back here little missy! You get back here right now!" The siblings then chase after Lola into the city as the sun sets.

* * *

 **Well, that was fun. Now I'd just like to say something. I wasn't exactly a big believer in the whole Lincoln-is-adopted theory, and since I saw the episode Not a Loud, I found Lincoln's birth story pretty far fetched and hard to believe, but at the same time, I thought it was pretty interesting. And since _The Loud House_ is a cartoon, pretty much anything can happen in their world, plus I doubt anyone would believe Lincoln even if he did tell his story. But that episode gave me a lot to think about and as bizarre as Lincoln's story was, it did confirm that he's officially a Loud.**

 **Now you might be wondering about Rita answering Lincoln's question about his white hair. Well, I'll leave that up for you to decide and you can come up with an answer of your own.**

 **Thanks for reading. So long everybody!**


	22. Short 7: this could go on a while

**Here's another _Loud House_ short **

**Based on a Quickie from Jim Davis' _Garfield and Friends_.**

* * *

Lincoln is in the dining room with a box in her hand. "Hey Lincoln."

"Hey Luan. What's up?"

"Oh nothing. Just wondering if you'd like some of this."

"What is it?"

"Taste it and find out."

Lincoln reaches into the box and takes a bite of whatever's in it. "Mmmmm. Hey, not bad. What is it?" Lincoln reads the box and is shocked by what he just ate. "DOG BISCUITS?! Ugh! Quick! Get me a drink!"

Luan runs into the kitchen and grabs a small bottle. Lincoln takes a drink out of it, but reads the label afterwards. Soon his face turns read and fire starts coming out of his mouth. "T-T-T-T-Taco sauce?! Quick! Get me something to drink!"

Luan grabs a dog dish and Lincoln drinks the water in it. "Charles' water dish?!" He is disgusted by what he drank and immediately spits it out. "Quick, get me an antidote!"

Luan gives him another dog biscuit and he eats it. "ANOTHER DOG BISCUIT?! Quick get me a drink!"

Luan gives him the bottle of taco sauce again. "Get comfortable," she said to the audience. "This could go on for a while."

"MORE TACO SAUCE?! IM BURNING UP! QUICK! GET ME SOMETHING TO DRINK!"


	23. Short 8: Surprising with Luan

**And now it's time for Surprising with Luan**

 **Based on _Garfield and Friends_ ' Screaming with Binky**

* * *

Lisa is busy working on her experiment. Lincoln Loud steps in. "Of all the interests in the Loud House, nothing can be more stressful or take more concentration as being a scientist. Here you can see my sister Lisa completing her experiment that she's been working on since she was 2 years old. If she succeeds, this experiment will become revolutionary and could possibly change the world for the good of humanity. But if she fails, it'll become nothing more than a pile of worthless dust. And now, time for absolute silence."

Lisa is about to add a single drop from the test tube into the beaker, when Luan comes in and surprises her. "Hey Lisa! Whatcha doing?" Lisa accidentally spilled the whole test tube into the beaker and it just became a pile of dust.

"Gee. Looks like you _blew_ it." Luan then lets out a sneeze and blows the dust out the window. "Gee, looks like _I_ blew it. Hahahaha. Get it?"

Lisa looks extremely frustrated. "We'll be right back," Lincoln announced. " _Without_ the comedian."


	24. Short 9: Lori’s Giant Problem

**Hey everybody. It is time once again to look at another reviewer request from crawfordbrian17. And I promise this will be the last one.**

* * *

The sun is shining and the Loud siblings Lincoln, Lori and Leni are in the front yard relaxing on chairs. "Ah, this is the life," Lincoln replied.

"You said it little bro," Lori said.

Just then, Lisa arrives dressed as a waitress with a plate of beverages in one hand. "Siblings," she says. "Might I interest you in a nice and tasty beverage?"

"Sure." The siblings each grab a drink. Lincoln and Leni each grab a lemonade, but Lori takes a glass with a mysterious green liquid in it. As she drinks it, something strange begins to happen. "Wow!" Lincoln said with surprise. "You're glowing."

"Oh, thanks Lincoln."

"No! Lori you're like _really_ glowing! You're green!"

Lori looks at her hand and sees that Lincoln is right. Soon Lori starts growing and growing bigger and bigger until she's as big as the tree in their front yard. "Can someone literally tell me what is going on?"

Lincoln looks at his genius sister with a stern look on his face. "Lisa! Did you use one of your experiments again?"

"Maybe…." the young scientist replied rather sheepishly.

"Oh boy! If Mom and Dad find out about this, they are going to give you such a grounding."

"Aren't you forgetting something!?" The giant sister exclaimed. "I can't be out in the open like this!"

"Lori, calm down. We can fix this," Lincoln assured. "Let's just head back into the house. We can figure out something there."

"Good idea." Lori goes on all fours and tries to fit in the doorway. She struggled to get her hair inside. "You've got to be kidding me! Oh well, not the first time this has happened." Surprisingly enough, Lori gets her head and arms through, but the rest of her body gets stuck. "A little help here guys?"

Lincoln and Leni try to get Lori into the house. The two siblings constantly try pushing with their backs, but found it difficult to do so. "This is just great!" Lori groaned. "I can get my head inside, but not the rest of me? How ironic is that?"

"Tell me about it," Lincoln says.

"You know, sometimes I wonder. How come _you_ never get stuck in anything?" Leni asked her brother.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean how do you manage to get your head to fit in the air vents?"

"Are you saying I have a big head?!"

"Well, I wouldn't say it's big. It's just not as small as the rest of you."

"Face it little bro," Lori says, "you _do_ kinda have a big head." Leni and Lisa snicker at this, but Lincoln looks unamused.

"Ha ha ha," he said sarcastically. "Go ahead laugh all you want."

"Come on Lincoln. Learn to laugh at yourself once in a while."

"Indeed," Lisa intrudes. "Besides, on a lighter note, your cardiac is definitely more gargantuan than your oversized cranium."

"My who is what now?"

"Your heart is bigger than your head."

"Oh. Well….Uhhh….thank you."

After more and more struggling, the Louds finally managed to get Lori into the house. However, the serum made her so big, she takes up most of the living room space. So much so that the kids could barely walk around without bumping or touching her legs. "Well this might be even more difficult," Lori exclaimed, "but what do you guys say we watch TV until this whole thing blows over?"

"I'm down with that," Lincoln agrees.

Leni turns on the television and _Dream Boat_ comes on. "Alright! Guys look! _Dream Boat_ 's on!"

The four kids cheer in excitement and head over to the television. Lincoln, Leni and Lisa take a seat on the couch, while Lori crouches down behind the couch, even though she needed to squeeze between the walls of the living room. As soon as the show ended, Lori had shrunk back to her normal size. "That sure was great, wasn't it?"

"You said it….." Lincoln then noticed that Lori isn't a giant anymore. "Lori! You're back to normal!"

"I am?" Lori examined herself and sees that her brother is right. "I am! The serum must've wore off! Phew. What a relief. I was worried being a giant would cause too many big problems." Lori then realized something. "Speaking of which…."

The 3 Louds give a stern look at Lisa, who started to look nervous. "Okay Lisa," Lincoln said sternly. "We seriously need to have a talk with you."


	25. Chocolate Chasers

**Here is yet another story. Now this one is based on the _Garfield and Friends_ episode The Big Catnap. Now, I actually remember watching _Garfield and Friends_ back in my younger years, and considering that _The Loud House_ was inspired by numerous comic strips, I thought it might be fun to do a few stories based on the episodes.**

 **By the way, _Garfield_ belongs to Jim Davis**

* * *

The Loud girls (minus Lincoln) are sitting on the couch wondering what to do. "So guys," Lori says. "What do you wanna do today?" The girls shrugged their shoulders. "What about Lily? What does she want to do?"

"Goo-goo." She replied.

"Well she _is_ a baby. They don't exactly do _much_."

"Let's face it guys," Lynn sighs. "We've done everything remotely amusing in this house. And _I_ for one am starting to get bored."

"Then just do what I do whenever I have nothing to do," Lana suggested.

"Scratch behind your ears with your foot?" Lola guessed.

"No. Take a nice long nap on the couch."

"For once, that's a suggestion from you I actually agree on."

"Come to think of it," Lori said. "A nice nap does sound good."

"I concur," Lisa agrees. "I too could use a REM little sleep at the moment."

With that the girls decide to relax and take a nice long nap on the living room couch.

* * *

At the exact moment, Clyde arrives at the house with a box of chocolate bars. "I hope Lincoln appreciates this." Clyde is about to knock on the door, but then hears a voice coming from the bushes.

"Psst….Clyde! Over here!" Lincoln's hands and head come out of the bush with Lincoln having twigs in his hair.

"Lincoln? What are you doing in the bush?"

"I'm hiding in here so my sisters don't find me."

"Why?"

"Because of…" Lincoln looks in all directions to make sure no one's listening. "... _the chocolates_."

"What's _that_ got to do with your sisters?"

"Don't you remember? My sisters are well known choco-holics. Remember the pies?"

"Oh, right."

"And the worst part is, they always eat everything in the box and I never get to eat one."

"So you _never_ got to taste these things?"

"Nope. It's been so long since I've tasted one. Whenever I try, the girls trick me and take them all for themselves." Lincoln comes out of the bush. "Let me tell you what happened last month."

* * *

 _Flashback shows Lincoln heading into the dining room unwrapping a chocolate bar._

 _"I had just bought them. I was about to bite into one when….."_

 _"Gasp! Cough! Gasp and cough!" Lana comes in from the kitchen acting completely sick, and her face is a chartreuse green. "Oh despair! Oh agony! Oh woe! Despair, agony and woe! This is it! Goodbye Royal Woods!" *cough* "I'm going! Everything's going dark! I'm almost gone!"_

 _"Lana? What's wrong?"_

 _"Any second now! So long big brother…" Lana lies on the floor like she's about to die._

 _"Don't worry sis! I'll get help!"_

 _Lisa comes in with a health book. "Here you go elder brother. Might I recommend you look at page 52."_

 _"Thanks Lisa." As the young scientist left, Lincoln turns to page 52. "What's this? 'The dreaded Hungarian chocolate fever causes the victim's face to turn chartreuse. In advance stages, the victim will have the urge to quack like a duck, croak like a frog and moo like a cow.'"_

 _Lana starts imitating the animals mentioned in the book and then falls on her back with her eyes closed and tongue sticking out._

 _"Oh no! She's got a chronic case! 'The only known cure is a massive dose of chocolate.' Hang on little sis!" Lincoln grabs the box and feeds the chocolate to his sister. "Speak to me Lana! Are you feeling any better?! Lana?"_

 _Lana starts eating the chocolate. "Could I probably have some milk to go with this?" Just then, Lily comes out from the kitchen babbling with chartreuse paint on her hands and knees._

 _"Not now Lily! Lana is sick! This is no time to be dragging green paint all over the—." Lincoln suddenly realized what his sister is up to and Lana stands up on the table._

 _"Oh the wonderous miricals of miracles! I'm cured! I'm cured! In fact, see how fast I can run?"_

 _Lana dashed out of the dining room and Lincoln chased after his sister. "Lana! That was my chocolate!"_

 _Flashback ends._

* * *

"That was last month. Now the month _before_."

* * *

 _Another flashback shows Lola sitting on the couch watching television when Lincoln comes in through the front door with a box of chocolates._

 _"What a chocolate feast!"_

 _Lola takes note of this and immediately runs out of the house to a nearby phone booth. She then makes a quick phone call._

 _Back at the Loud house, Lincoln is setting the box on the dining room table and takes one bar out. "Ah, an entire box of chocolates. I can't wait." He was about to bite into one when the telephone rang. "Who could be calling at a time like this?" As Lincoln goes to answer the phone, Lola sneaks through the window and starts eating all the chocolate._

 _"Hello?" Lincoln answers, but finds there's no one on the phone. "Hello? Hello? There's no one there."_

 _Lincoln goes back into the dining room and sees Lola eating the chocolate. "Any calls for me?"_

 _"Lola! That was my chocolate!" Lola runs out of the house while Lincoln chased her._

 _Flashback ends._

* * *

"Now, the month before _that_ …"

"Excuse me," Clyde interrupted. "Is this the _last_ flashback? I gotta get home."

"Last one I promise. Now, the month before that…."

 _The last flashback shows Lincoln walking into the dining room with yet another box. "Oh boy! An entire box of chocolates!"_

 _On the couch, Lily and Luan heard what their brother said and point their fingers to their open mouths. "Ah, Ah, Ah!"_

 _"Oh no. Don't even think about it. These are mine." Lincoln goes into the dining room leaving the girls alone._

 _"Poo-poo!" Lily complains._

 _"You said it Lily. How selfish is that? Not letting us have even one." Luan then gets an idea. "But I think I know just what to do."_

 _Luan takes Lily to the garage to look for something. "Let's see, I won't if Lana still has that old safe she was working on." Luan then finds the old abandoned safe and removed the door from it. She then takes it inside and places it on the frame of one of the windows._

 _Lincoln is seen taking one bar out of the box. "I haven't had one of these babies in a long time." He then spots Luan and Lily behind the chair, about to pounce on him. "Oh no you don't! Not this time!" Lincoln runs out of the chair to a nearby window. "Where can I hide these where they won't get to them?" Lincoln spots the window with a safe door. "Of course! In the safe!" Lincoln opens the safe door and throws the box out the window. "Ha! Let's see them try to…...wait a minute. Our house doesn't have a safe." Lincoln opened the safe door again and sees Luan and Lily eating the chocolates. Lincoln sees that he's been tricked again. "Dang it!"_

 _"Well that's one way to keep your chocolates safe," Luan jokes. "Get it?"_

 _Flashback ends._

* * *

"See what I mean? Everytime I try to eat one, I end up getting tricked, and they end up eating everything. Well not _this_ time. I'm gonna eat one, and _nothing's_ gonna stop me."

"Well, good luck buddy."

"Thanks pal." Clyde leaves and Lincoln goes into the house.

Once inside, Lincoln sees all 10 of his sisters asleep on the couch. "Good." He whispers. "They're asleep. Now's my chance." Lincoln takes off his shoes so that they don't make noise, and then sneaks into the house. "Phew! As long as they don't wake up, I'm in the clear."

Just then, Loud music starts playing from outside. "Oh no! A parade!" Lincoln shuts all the windows and rushes over to the couch. He then gets 10 pairs of earmuffs and puts one on each of the sisters who are still sleeping. "Phew! That was close!"

He then hears another loud noise and it seems to be coming from the television. The pets Charles, Cliff, Walt and Geo are sitting in front of it and Lincoln gets worried again, so he shuts the tv off and sent the pets out to the backyard. Lincoln then rushed upstairs to his room. "Okay, they're obviously not safe in this house! I've got to get out of here!" Lincoln looks under his poster and pulls out a cord. The emergency inflatable slide activated outside his window. "For once, I'm glad Lisa had this installed." He then goes down the slide and into the driveway. He then called a taxi and it drives all the way to the city park. Once there, he gets out and heads to a park bench. "Ah, finally. At last. Miles from my sisters."

Lincoln then unwrapped a candy bar and took a bite out of it. Unfortunately, the crunch could be heard from the Loud house. The girls immediately wake up. "Did you hear what I hear?" Lana asked her twin.

"Oh I _heard_ it Lans. But I'd rather _taste_ it."

"Shall we?" Luna asked.

"We shall." Lori answered.

"And away we go!" Luan shouts.

The girls then dashed right out the front door and down the road to the city park. They happen to find Lincoln on a park bench.

"Well, well, well. What have we here?" Lincoln looks over to see Lola and the rest of the girls surrounding him. "Did you _really_ think you could hide those from us?"

Lincoln realized the jig was up and he couldn't escape it anymore. "Oh! I give up!" Lincoln finally hands over the box and the girls immediately eat everything up. Lincoln finally gave up and started to head home feeling quite distraught.

* * *

Back at the Loud house, Lincoln is sitting on the couch watching television when the girls came in through the front door.

"S'up bro!" Luna greets. "What's for dinner?"

"I already ate. The leftovers are in the fridge. You can help yourself."

"You literally ate _without_ us?" Lori asked exasperated.

"Dad's lasagna was getting cold, and I was hungry."

The girls noticed their brother's attitude. "Alright little bro," Lynn intervened. "What's going on? Why are you so grumpy?"

"Don't act like you don't know!"

"I don't know." The sisters look at Leni dumbfounded. "What? I'm not acting. I really don't know."

"I was talking about the chocolate, Leni."

"Well can you _blame_ us?" Luan barked back. "You were gonna keep them all to yourself."

"You don't understand! The only reason I kept buying chocolate was so I could share them with you!"

"Oh quit your lying Lincoln!" Lola shouts. "You said it yourself! You said they were yours!"

"...to _share_."

"Wait, what?"

"They were mine….. to _share_. Let me finish next time."

"Oh. Well we didn't know."

"But if you meant to share," Lucy asked, "then why do you keep hiding them from us?"

"Because you guys always go through the whole box, and you never leave anything for me. I just didn't want to be left out."

"Gee," Luna lamented. "We didn't realize. We're sorry bro."

"It's okay. I can't stay mad at you guys forever. I get it. Sometimes it's hard to control yourself. It's happened to me before. Tell you what guys. Next time, I won't let you steal my chocolate, but I will share it with you. Just as long as you ask first."

"Deal!"

"Well, it doesn't really matter now," Lynn lamented. "We just finished the whole box."

"Yeah, about that." Lincoln goes into the kitchen and arrives back with another box of chocolates.

"Where did you get that?" Lucy asked.

"I did a few extra chores around the house to earn more money. So when Clyde offered to help, I was able to buy a second box, just in case anything happened to the first one."

"You little scamp!" Lori teased.

"What can I say? I'm the man with the plan after all. What do you say we enjoy these together? As a family?"

"Sure," Leni agrees with the rest of the girls. "But let's let you have the first one."

"Thanks guys." Lincoln grabs the first bar while the other sisters each grab one of their own.

"So," Lana asked curiously. "Does this mean we're good?"

"As good as this chocolate little sis."


	26. The Poor Sport

**Now due to the success of my previous chapter, I got a request from earthling1996r to do a chapter based on a segment of _US Acres_ (AKA _Orson's Farm_ ). Now for this, I found it to be a little tricky since I couldn't find a lot of similarities between _US Acres_ and _The Loud House_. In fact, the only similarity I could find between both shows is the one between Luan Loud and Roy Rooster (due to the fact that they are both pranksters). Fortunately, after giving it some thought and looking through numerous episodes of _Garfield and Friends_ , I finally managed to find a segment I could do (The Bad Sport). It might not be much, but it's the best I could work with and I think it's okay for what it is. Enjoy.**

* * *

Lincoln is sitting on the living room chair reading a book. Just then, Lola, Lana, Luan and Leni arrive. "Whatcha reading, big brother?" Lola asked.

"It's an entire book about sports."

"Is there anything in there about alligator wrestling?" Lana questioned. "That's my kind of sport. Wouldn't you say Lola?"

"Do what you want," Lola scoffed. "I'd prefer playing some nice _quiet_ games."

"Sometimes sports make me nervous," Leni said. "Especially football. All those people jumping on top of each other. It's just not right."

"Maybe we could try a new sport," Lincoln suggested. "Like this one here, 'Loud Ball'."

"'Loud Ball?'" Luan questioned. "Never heard of it."

"Neither have I. But all the rules are right here."

"I think it's a great idea!" Lana said.

"Sounds great to me!" Leni agreed. "As long as nobody gets hurt."

"Uh-uh. Not me. Count me out. I've got more important things to do than play silly games." Luan walks away.

"Aw well," Lincoln sighed. "It's okay. We don't need her. I'll go see if the other wanna play. You guys meet me in the backyard."

"Okay!" Everyone runs off while Luan is seen hiding behind the tree.

"So they're gonna play the game after all, are they? Well we'll see about that. Time for me to have a little fun of my own." Luan comes out of her hiding spot and runs upstairs to her room. "Yeah I know what you're thinking," she said to the audience. "But how could I not pass up this opportunity?"

* * *

Meanwhile, Lincoln is busy setting up in the backyard. "There we go, everything's almost ready."

"Uh…...Lincoln?" Lana asked. "This looks cool and all, but how are you gonna get Lynn on board? You know how she is about trying new things."

"Trust me Lana. I know you guys more than anyone. And I know for a fact that Lynn can't resist a good challenge. I'll just go ask her if she wants to play. I'm sure she'll say yes."

* * *

"No!"

Lincoln is in Lynn and Lucy's room. "What do you mean 'no'?"

"Read my lips, Stinkin'. No! N-O! No!"

"But this could be a great new game."

"I don't care. I won't like it. I don't like trying anything new."

"Come on, sis. You don't even know what it is? How can you say you don't like it?"

"I just can, and I did. Now make like a football and take a hike."

Lincoln then gets an idea. "Okay, fine. Don't play. You probably couldn't handle it anyway."

Lynn then gets surprised after hearing that. "Excuse me?!"

"You heard me. This game seems a bit out of your league. You couldn't handle it for even a second."

"What?! Yes I could!"

"No you couldn't! In fact, I would probably have more luck at winning than you. You couldn't win even if you wanted to."

Lynn starts to get really angry. "Are you calling me a wuss?!"

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Then again, maybe I am."

"Oh yeah?! I'll show you who's a wuss! I'll give your little game a try!"

"I thought you'd never agree," Lincoln said with a smirk.

* * *

Next door, Luan is busy on her typewriter. "There we go. The new rules for Loud Ball."

Meanwhile, the rest of the the kids are outside in the backyard. "Okay, Leni," Lincoln says. "Where's the book that tells us how to play Loud Ball?"

"I thought you had it."

"Oops! I guess I left it upstairs. I'll go get it." Lincoln goes into the house and goes upstairs to get it. Luan takes out the page that she was typewriting and glued it into the book. She placed the book outside the door and Lincoln finds it and grabs it. Luan watched him run off, laughing to herself.

Lincoln goes back outside with the book and reads it. "Okay, here it is. 'The blue team starts by clucking like chickens until the red team does 50 squats or sits in 3 lemon meringue pies. Whichever occurs first. Play begins when both captains toss a peice of pizza in the air. If the pizza lands crust side up, the game is immediately postponed and all players must move to Phoenix, Arizona and open a store for winter clothing next to a chicken farm and also write country songs about cows from outer space. The second inning can not start until all players put on a tuxedo. And the captain of the blue team must find a live rhinoceros.'"

"Are you sure about this game, little bro?" Lynn asked skeptically.

"Come on Lynn," Lana encourages. "Rules are rules."

Lincoln tossed a pizza slice in the air and it lands upside down.

"Yay!" Leni cheers. "It landed crust side up!"

The game starts with everyone doing a bunch of crazy things, including clucking like chickens, sitting in pies, doing squats, and even Leni searching for a rhinoceros.

But it wasn't long until a certain sister was starting to get sick of it all and decided to quit.

"That's it!" Lynn shouts. "I quit! This is the stupidest game in the world! I'm out of here!"

"Geez," Lana said. "What a poor sport."

Lynn then walks into the house, upstairs to the bathroom, but then stops as soon as she spots a typewriter and a bottle of paste in Luna and Luan's room. She also hears Luan laughing uncontrollably on her bed. "Oh man!" She laughed. "Dress up like a wild goose!? Oh brother! They'll do anything!"

"So that's it?! Luan's been pranking us this whole time? Well two can play at that game!" Lynn takes Luan's typewriter to her bedroom and types something of her own.

Out in the backyard, Lincoln is reading more of the book. "...all players with less than 500 points are required to change their names to Steve."

"Stop! Stop! I can't take it!" Luan comes out of her hiding spot. "Those weren't the real rules, I made it all up! And you guys totally fell for it!" Luan keeps laughing while the rest of the kids are looking quite miffed.

"Pretty clever Luan." Lynn comes up from behind. "But that's just a start. If you really wanna play a real game, you might want to try comedian ball." Lynn then pulls out a book from behind her back and Luan reads it.

"Let's see here, the rules for comedian ball. 'The object of the game is to take the person with a ponytail and braces wearing the color yellow, and throw them into a…..mud pit.' Hey wait a minute! This isn't even fair! I have all those things. I'm bound to…" Luan finally realized where this is going and backs away as her siblings approach her. "Hey guys. Let's not be hasty. Look, tell you what. Why don't we play another game? Like cards, jacks, checkers, old made, canasta…?"

Luan then runs away as her siblings then chase her into the city. Meanwhile, Leni is watching the whole thing. "Hey! Guys! Are we still playing?!" The rest of the kids don't hear her. "I guess the games over. Just when I was so close to winning." Leni appears to have found a real live rhino tied to a rope. "Come on, Richard. Let's go." Leni takes the rhino with her as they both walk off into the sunset.


	27. Cake Time

**Here is yet another story. Now just to clarify, this is one of the few _Regular Show_ based chapters that HAVEN'T been requested (at least as far as I know). As for the other requests that haven't been done, I apologize if they're taking so long, but I promise I'll get to them as soon as I can. I already have a few ideas of how the next few chapters are going to be, so I wanna get those out of the way first.**

* * *

"Hey Lincoln! Lincoln! You got to see this!" Lana goes into the dining room and shows Lincoln a cracked plate she found in the trash. "Check it out. Isn't it cool?"

"Lana, you've gotta stop pulling things out of the trash. It's unnatural."

" _You're_ unnatural! Besides, this is much more than trash. It's _treasure_. Besides, it's already been washed."

"I guess it _is_ pretty cool."

"Heck yeah it is! We should put some food on it."

"You know what would go good on this plate? Chocolate cake!"

"Oh cool! But where are we gonna get something like chocolate cake?"

"Glad you asked. I know just where to get one."

* * *

Lincoln and Lana are at the grocery store. "Check it out, sis. Cake mix. Add some water and eggs, throw it in the oven, pull that soft little brick out and boom! You got yourself a cake."

"I can't wait to eat that thing. Wait, how much is it?"

"$1.50."

"AAAARGH!" The kids put the cake mix box back. "I told you cake mix was too expensive."

Next, Lincoln and Lana are at a wedding. "Do you know the bride or the groom?" The doorman asked.

"Uhhh…...the one with the cake?" Lincoln answered. The doorman closes the door and the two kids groaned. They are now at _Flip's Food n' Fuel_. "Sure you can have cake," the manager said. "For $50." The two kids groaned again.

Back at the Loud house, the kids are wondering what to do. "Well, _I'm_ all out of ideas," Lincoln said.

"Hold it bro! I got it!" Lana shouts. "Didn't you tell me that there's a chocolate cake over at _Gus' Games n' Grub_?"

"Yeah," Lincoln confirms. "But Lori said they'll only let you have it for free if it's your birthday."

"Who's to say it's _not_ my birthday?"

"Who's to say it's not _my_ birthday?"

"Free cake! Free cake!" They both chant.

* * *

Outside, Lori is outside trimming the hedges. "It's _neither_ of your birthdays."

"Aw dang it!" Lana complains. "Why does she have to rain on our parade all the time?"

"No cake. No cake." They chant lamentely.

Leni pops out of a nearby bush. "But it is _Lucy's_ birthday."

"Free cake! Free cake!"

"But she's _really private_ about it," Lori said."

"No cake. No cake."

"Come to think of it," Lori wonders. "I don't think we've _ever_ had a party for Lucy."

"Yeah," Leni agrees. "Usually she keeps walking out into the woods on her birthday. All alone."

"So wait!" Lincoln said. "You guys have _never_ thrown a birthday party for Lucy?"

"No."

"Guys, that stinks! Lucy _deserves_ a party!"

"And cake!" Lana interrupted.

"Look, I know Lucy can be dark and spooky most of the time, but she's actually really nice. She's one of the nicest people we have in this house. I bet she _wants_ a party. She's just a shy girl and doesn't know how to ask. Lucy's a very special girl. She _deserves_ a special party."

"And also a special cake," Lana interrupted again.

Lincoln's speech makes Leni tear up with joy. "That was so….beautiful. We've gotta throw a birthday party for Lucy! She deserves it!"

"You're right Leni. Alright guys. You get Lucy on board and you got a deal."

"Don't worry," Lincoln assured. "We know how to get her on board."

* * *

Back in the house, Lincoln and Lana are thinking of ways to bring Lucy on board. "How are we gonna get her on board?"

"I've got an idea! First we'll get the van….." Lana is describing her idea as throwing a tied up, unconscious Lucy into the back of the car. "...and boom! Free cake!"

"No, girl. That's kidnapping."

"Come on! It'll be great!"

"Lana, what have I told you about kidnapping?"

"'It's illegal, no one should do it and if you get caught, you'll get sent to jail.' I know! I know!"

"That's right."

"But we can't just _tell_ her. You heard what Lori said, Lucy's not into this stuff. You know how she is. All dark, depressed, gloomy, saying she doesn't have a heart."

"Sis, everyone has a heart. Lucy just says that for no reason. Besides, Lucy's pretty cool. We should just tell her we want to throw her a party."

"What?! That's lame!"

"Why? What's wrong with that?"

"Two things: one: no _surprise_ , and two: no _van_."

"Wait! That's it!"

"The van?"

"No! _Surprise_! We should throw her a _surprise_ party!"

"Bro, that's perfect! No one can say no to a _surprise_ party!"

"Because they _can't_!"

"Free cake! Free cake!" They chanted.

* * *

Lincoln and Lana are in Lucy's room. Lucy is sitting on her bed. "No, I don't wanna hang out with you guys at 8 o'clock tonight."

"How about _later_ tonight?" Lincoln asked.

"No! I wanna be _alone_!" The two then leave as Lucy slams the door in front of their faces.

"Great! Now what are we gonna do?"

Lana thinks for a minute and then gets an idea. "Of course! Why didn't I think of this before? We'll just _lie_ to the others and get the cake _first_ , then we'll figure out the rest _later_."

"Hmm. Sounds like a cake worthy idea to me little sis."

"Free cake! Free cake!" They chant again.

* * *

Lincoln and Lana find Lori is still trimming the hedges in the front yard. "Okay," Lincoln tells his oldest sister. "It's all worked out. Lucy _totally_ wants a birthday."

"Really?" Lori questions. "How did you manage to convince her?"

"We told her that there's gonna be cake."

"Yeah!" Lana confirms. "And she wants an extra large chocolate cake."

"Really?"

"Yeah. 8:00," Lincoln said.

"But she wants it to be a _surprise_ , so if you see her, don't say anything." Lincoln then slaps Lana in the back of her head. "OW! Hey! What was that for?!"

" _Ix-nay_ on the _urprise-say_ , _ana-Lay_ ," Lincoln whispers. _(It's in Pig Latin by the way)_

"Well okay. We'll get the place set up. Here's the keys to the arcade snack bar." Lori hands Lincoln the keys. "We'll see you guys at 8. But if you little twerps are _lying_ to me, you'll be on kitchen duty for the next week. Got it?"

"Got it!"

"Good!"

* * *

Lincoln and Lana arrive at the arcade and get the cake from the snack bar. "Alright!" Lincoln shouts. "We did it!"

"Let's eat this baby!" Lana prepares to dig in, but Lincoln stopped her.

"Sis, no! You heard what Lori said! If she finds out we lied, we'll get stuck doing dish duty! Do you want that!"

"Fine! We'll do dish duty!"

"No sis! We made a deal! We got the cake, now we gotta get _Lucy_!"

"Augh! See?! This is why you never get to do what you want because all you can think about is Lori flipping her lid!"

* * *

The two then leave the arcade with the chocolate cake, and head out into the woods. "Are you _sure_ Lucy is out here?" Lana asked.

"Leni said Lucy goes out into the woods by herself. Where else would she be?" Lincoln then hears Lana's stomach growling and sees her reaching for it. "Don't even think about it."

"Come on, Lincoln! I'm starving! I'm gonna die if I don't have one piece!"

"Lana, you just had a sandwich 5 minutes ago, and it was from a _trash can_!"

"Doesn't matter! I'm _still_ hungry!"

"Seriously? What is with you girls and chocolate anyway?"

"Not exactly something _you_ would understand."

"Whatever. We're saving the cake for the party and that's final!"

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the Loud House, everyone is getting the living room ready. Leni takes a peek through the window.

"See anything yet Leni?" Lori asks.

"Not yet."

"Okay. Hit the lights. It's almost 8."

Lynn shuts the lights off. "Oh boy. That dutchess is gonna be surprised like never before!"

"Lynn," Lori said sternly. "If you're thinking about doing that same thing you did at Lincoln's birthday party, you may want to rethink that."

"In that case, don't turn on the lights yet," Lynn said nervously.

* * *

Back in the woods, Lincoln and Lana are still searching. "Aaaaagh!" Lana groaned. "Face it. We're never gonna find her. Let's just eat the cake and go home."

"No. The others are gonna go ballistic, so we definitely shouldn't."

"The others are gonna be like that no matter what." Lana grabs the cake from Lincoln. "Better have no regrets!"

"Lana! Give me back that cake!"

"No! It's mine!"

"Give it back!"

"Get away!"

The two continue fighting over the cake, when suddenly they hear a mysterious sound. "What's that noise."

"I don't know." The two follow the sound, peek from behind a bush. They see Lucy dancing around a bonfire with a rattle in her hand. "What's Lucy doing?"

"I don't know, but it looks pretty important. Maybe we should leave her alone."

"But what about the cake?"

"Would you forget about the stupid cake for just a second?" Lana doesn't listen and comes out of the bush. "Lana!"

Lana runs up to Lucy and grabs her by the leg pulling her away. "You're coming with us, Lucy!"

"What are you doing?!" The bonfire then burned out. "You idiots! You interrupted my ritual! You don't realize what you did!"

Just then a magical white pickup truck landed near. Lincoln is surprised to see who's driving it. "Haiku?"

"Hey Lincoln," she said in a monotonous voice. "Lucy, you have broken the pact you made with the guardians of goths!"

"Haiku, you don't have to do this!"

"Listen, I'm just doing my job." Lucy gets teleported into the car.

"Wait!" Lincoln halted. "What's going on here? Where are you taking her?"

"I just do what I'm told," Haiku answered. "I don't answer questions." The car then drives off.

"Lana, I think we messed up! Come on! We've gotta follow her!" Lincoln and Lana hop into the back of the truck as the pickup drives up into the sky and magically transports to a dark island in space. Once there, there are four giant guardians who look like bats. "What is this place?" Lana asked. "And what's with all the bats? And why is it so dark?"

"Lana! Shush!"

Haiku comes out of the car and comes forward with Lucy. "Guardians of Goths, I bring you the guilty one!"

"Lucy Loud!" One of the guardians announced. "You have failed to complete the ritual! And thus you break the pact that you have made for gothic lifestyle! Now, as punishment, you shall turn to dust and disappear forever!"

A giant ray fires at Lucy and she begins to feel weak. "I don't feel so good….." as she collapsed to the ground, she starts to lose her color as her body starts to slowly disintegrate and fade away in the wind.

Lincoln and Lana are shocked at what's happening to their sister. "Wait!" Lincoln pops out of the trunk. "Don't do this! It's not her fault! It's _ours_! We interrupted her ritual before she could finish!"

"Yeah!" Lana agrees. "Let her finish the ritual thing!"

"The decision of the guardians can not be overturned!" Lucy starts fading away even more. Lincoln and Lana run up to her.

"Lucy!" Lincoln cries. "It's us! Your siblings, Lincoln and Lana! If you can hear us, we're sorry! We didn't mean to get you in trouble! We just wanted to throw you a surprise party! For your birthday! Because you deserved it! I know you can be dark and scary sometimes, but you're our sister. We just wanted to do something nice for you."

"Yeah," Lana whimpered. "It was gonna be so much fun. We were gonna eat cake…"

" _Cake_?!" The guardians happened to hear what the young tomboy said. "Did someone say _cake_?"

"Uhhhh…..no." Lana hides the cake behind her back.

"Wait! Everyone! I smell cake!"

"Hold on! Give me that!" Lincoln takes the cake from Lana and walks up to the guardians. "So you're telling me you like _cake_?"

"The white haired one has cake! We must have cake!"

"Ah! Ah! Ah! We'll make you a deal! We'll give you the cake, but _only_ if you give us back Lucy!"

"Lincoln!" Lana argued. "What are you doing?!"

"Lana! Do you want our own sister to die on her birthday?!"

"But-! But-! Oh! You're right! Fine!" She pouts.

"So, do we have a deal?"

The guardians talk amongst themselves. "What flavor is it?"

"Chocolate!"

"Very well then! We have reached a verdict! We shall restore Lucy in exchange for your cake!"

Lincoln puts the cake on the ground. "Now change her back!"

"Done!" Lucy is then restored back to her normal self again and the guardians start eating the cake.

"Well, looks like everything's back to normal," Lana sighed. "Can we go home now?"

"I'll say we can." Haiku pops up right next to them, scaring them (except Lucy).

"You're coming with us Haiku?" Lincoln asked.

"I could use a little break from the darkness."

With that, the four kids then disappear and reappear in the Loud house.

* * *

"SURPRISE!" Everyone shouts.

"Party rock is in the house tonight!" Luna said.

"You guys almost killed me for some cake?" Lucy asked her brother and sister.

"Yeah, we're really sorry Lucy," Lincoln apologized. "We just wanted to do something nice for you. But I'd never forgive myself if I let something bad happen to any of my sisters."

"Yeah, what he said," Lana agrees. "Also we got you a present." Lana gives lucky the plate she found earlier. "It's got a crack in it but I think it gives it that decrepit look."

"Wow. No one's _ever_ thrown me a birthday party before. Thanks." Lucy smiles.

Lori appears right next to them. "So where's the cake?"

"Cake?" Lincoln asked sarcastically. "What cake?"

"I don't remember any cake," Lana added.

"Neither do I."

"Must've been a misunderstanding."

"Oh! You mean the cake from the arcade!"

"You wanted that cake for this party?"

"Hehehe. What a funny mistake. Oh well, it doesn't matter now."

"The important thing is that we're all together."

"Argh!" Lori groaned. "I knew I couldn't trust you nitwits. You're lucky Leni made a spare. Happy birthday Lucy."

"Yes! Finally!" Lana and Lincoln go over to enjoy the cake. "Well everything worked out okay. Lucy gets to enjoy her birthday and we get to enjoy…...aargh, vanilla?"

* * *

 **Well, there's another story. Now in case you're wondering, yes I already have ideas for the next few chapters, so to see what happens next, you'll just have to wait. But don't worry, it shouldn't take _too_ long.**

 **So until then, so long everybody!**


	28. Trade Charade

**Now here is a story based on an episode of _Ed, Edd n Eddy_. This was actually suggested by Mr. Animator. At first I found this to be a bit challenging, but then I realized that there are plenty of episodes that I could do and this happens to be one of them. The episode in question is called Who, What, Where, Ed. To me, that episode was so funny, I couldn't stop thinking how the _Loud House_ would fit in. So here it is, and I hope you like it.**

* * *

The story begins with Lincoln and Clyde in the kitchen making something. While Leni is busy playing with a yo-yo. "Now I know why you like these things so much, Linky. They're so much fun."

"Yeah they sure are Leni. But would you mind keeping it out of the way? We're kinda busy."

"Sure thing."

"Thanks for coming over to help Clyde. You haven't lived until you've tried one of _my_ omelettes."

"No problem buddy. All we need are eggs."

"I'll get them Linky!" Leni tries to put the yo-yo aside, but her legs get all tangled up in the string. She tries to get a carton of eggs from the fridge, but suddenly she tripped and lets go. The carton flies into the air and falls on the floor, which makes the eggs in it break. "Oops. Sorry Linky."

Lincoln tried to hold in his frustration. "That's…..Okay. Just….please get a broom to clean this up."

As Leni leaves, Lincoln's about to blow his top, but Clyde stops him. "Breathe. Just breathe." Lincoln takes a deep breath and his anger dies down a bit. "There. Feel better?"

"A little. Thanks. I needed that."

"Well, that does it," Clyde said. "No eggs, no omelette, Lincoln."

"Great! Now what are we supposed to do? Mom and Dad don't have enough time or money for more eggs. Why if we had a chicken, we could…..wait a minute! That's it!"

"What's it?"

"We'll get ourselves a chicken! Then we could have as many eggs as we need and we wouldn't even have to pay!"

"That's a great idea! But where are we gonna get a chicken?"

"I think I know just the person we can get one from."

* * *

The kids are over at Liam's barn. "You fellers want to do what?" The young farm boy asked.

"We were wondering if we can borrow one of your chickens," Lincoln answered.

"But why?"

"You see," Clyde explains. "We were making omelettes, and there was an accident and we ran out of eggs. So we're trying to get a chicken to get more."

"Sorry fellas, but I'm afraid I can't give you any chickens." The two boys hung their heads in disappointment. "But I _can_ give you something even better." Liam then takes out a single egg and holds it up.

"That's it? Just one measly egg?"

"Not just an egg, Lincoln. From this egg, you can hatch your own fowl."

"I don't get it?" Leni questions. "How will _this_ one get us more eggs?"

"Don't you get it, Leni?" Lincoln tells her. "The chicken is inside the egg. Chickens don't just _lay_ eggs, they _come from_ eggs."

"However," Liam interrupted, "there is _one_ favor I need to ask you."

"What is it? We'll do anything!"

"To get the egg, you must trade it for some sawdust. Don't ask why I need it. It's complicated."

"And just _where_ are we supposed to get sawdust?"

"That's for you to figure out. If you can bring me some sawdust, then you can have the egg. Deal?"

"Deal," Lincoln said rather reluctantly.

Clyde, Leni and Lincoln then leave. "How in the world are welcome supposed to get sawdust for Liam?" Lincoln asked. "We don't even know _who_ has any to give us."

"I do," Clyde said. "But there's a slight chance you might not like it."

* * *

The kids then arrive at Chandler's house. Lincoln is apparently not happy about it. "I don't like this!"

"Told you."

"Why do we have to be here?"

"Because Chandler is the only one who has more sawdust to do with."

"Aren't you forgetting how he treated us? He used me to get free stuff."

"I know, but what choice do we have? All we have to do is get the sawdust and that's it."

"Fine. But I'm still not happy about this."

Chandler is in the backyard taking care of a trash can full of sawdust by lugging it out of the shed. "Sawdust stinks! Doing chores stinks!" He grumbled.

"Hey Chandler." Lincoln and the others are seen standing behind.

"What do you want, Larry? I'm kinda busy here."

"First off, my name is _Lincoln_. And second, we're here to help you out. I mean, we couldn't help but notice that's a lot of sawdust you have, so we would love to save you the trouble of getting rid of it yourself by having us dispose of it for you. If that's cool?" Lincoln nervously awaits an answer.

"Alright, fine. You guys can have it."

"Yes!"

"I'll trade you for….painting my shed."

"What!? Forget it! You can paint your own shed!"

"Alright, fine. I'll just take this sawdust and…."

"No wait! We'll do it! So….where's the paint?"

"What paint?"

"How are we supposed to paint a shed with no paint?"

"You figure it out, Loud." Chandler walks off, leaving Lincoln feeling pretty annoyed.

"You know," Leni suggested. "I think Luan might have some paints at home we can use."

"Let's go see," Clyde says.

* * *

Back at the Loud house, Luan is busy painting a mural. She then turns around and sees the trio in the doorway.

"Hey Luan." They greet.

"Hey guys. And Lincoln, if you're here to ask me about my next party gig, you don't have to. Because in case you've forgotten, it's your day off."

"It's not that Luan. You see, we were wondering if we could borrow your paints?"

"Sorry little bro. But I need these. This mural isn't gonna paint itself, you know."

Lincoln groaned. "Let me try." Clyde steps forward. "Pardon me, Luan. If it's not too much trouble, perhaps we could interest you in a trade?"

"A trade? Hmm…..okay. I'll trade you my paints, for clams."

"Clams?!" Lincoln says. "Where are we supposed to get clams?"

"Not my problem. No clams, no paint."

* * *

The three kids are running from door to door asking the same question. "Can you spare some clams?"

"Pardon me, you wouldn't happen to have any clams, would you?

"Say, you haven't seen any clams around here, have you?"

"Could we borrow a cup of clams?"

"Can Lincoln come out and play?" Leni asked.

"I'm right next to you Leni," Lincoln answered.

"Hi Linky!"

Suddenly, they heard a noise coming from the sewer. A manhole cover is pushed aside and Lana comes out with her pet frog, Hops and a bucket of clams. "Boy, Hops. You sure are hard to beat when it comes to gathering clams."

"Clams?" Clyde asked.

"Is that Lana?" Leni said as she and the others ran towards the young tomboy."

"How convenient, yet ironic," Lincoln said rather dumbfounded. "Hey Lana!"

"Oh, hey guys!" She greets. "Whatcha up to?"

"Oh not much. Listen, we need to borrow your clams for a little while."

Lana looks a little surprised, but then starts to laugh hysterically, but then stops laughing as soon as she realized that Lincoln's not joking. "Oh, you're serious. Well…. I don't know if I can let you borrow it, but if you can find something to trade for, then you're welcome to have it."

"Aaugh! _Another_ trade?! Fine! What do you want?"

"We want an anchor."

"An anchor?! Forget it! I'm out of here!" Lincoln is about to take off, but Clyde stopped him.

"Lincoln! Calm down! You wanna get that egg, don't you? If we give Lana what she wants, then we can complete the trade. What do you say, buddy?"

Lincoln starts to calm down a bit and then thinks for a minute. "Alright. But if this trade charade keeps going on, I'm gonna go crazy!"

* * *

Just then, there's a mysterious visitor at a nearby house. The door opens and the people who answered it are revealed to ba Hawk and Hank. And the mysterious visitor appears to be the trio standing on top of each other in a trench coat, with Lincoln being on top. "Hello?"

"Yes hello?" The 'tall man' says in a deep voice. "We're doing a survey, and….oh, I mean uh….. _I'm_ doing a survey and….."

"No one's interested. Come back later." Hank said.

"Oh, of course. But I was just wondering, how many anchors do you own?"

"Say, don't I know you from somewhere?"

"No…..why would you say that?"

"You look awfully familiar. And you're kinda shrimpy for such a 'tall' man."

"Well that's because I….."

Just then, Leni pops her head out of the coat. "I'm the legs." Just then the whole costume collapsed.

"Well, we're exposed," Clyde lamented."

"Hey! It's those twerps who tricked us on Halloween! Let's get them!"

The three kids get scared and run away as Hawk and Hank chase after them. After a while, they managed to get away.

* * *

In the park, Lana is seen on a swing with Hops. "Ah, listen to the clams gurgle in the bucket, Hops."

"Here's you're anchor, Lana." Lincoln hands his little sister a rope tied to a big rock. "I'd love to stay and chat but we really have to get going!"

Lincoln takes the bucket of clams and tries to rush off with it, but Lana pulls him back with a lasso tied to his foot. "Nice try bro, but I'm not buying it. Just because I'm 6 doesn't mean I'm an idiot."

"Alright! Alright! We couldn't get an anchor," Lincoln admitted. "But could we at least trade for something else?"

Hops whispers into Lana's ear and Lana answered her brother's question. "Okay, Hops wants to trade."

* * *

Later, Lynn is seen playing badminton with Margo. Just then, Lincoln, Leni and Clyde approach her. "Hey Lynn," her brother greeted. "How's it going?"

"What is it, Stinkin'?" The young athlete replied. "I'm kinda in the middle of something here."

"Okay, one: please stop calling me that, and two: we need to borrow your racquet for a while."

"And just what exactly do you need my racquet for?"

"We need it to trade for a chicken, please?" Leni begged.

"Okay. I'll trade you for a giant teddy bear."

"When will it end?" Lincoln asked exasperated.

Leni drags the two boys away. "Let's go ask Lola."

* * *

Lola is in her room having one of her tea parties when she hears a knock at the door. She goes up to it and looks through the peephole. "What do you want?"

She sees that Lincoln, Leni and Clyde are right in front of her door. "Giant teddy bear?"

"Plums."

Lincoln's about to lose his mind but then takes a breath to ease his frustration. "What is going on today?!"

"Plums are good for you Lincoln." Clyde said as they leave.

* * *

The kids are once again back at Liam's who is seen picking plums from a tree. "So, you fellas are back here wanting plums this time? Do you not want the egg?"

"Yes! We want the egg!" Lincoln said exasperated. "But we need these plums first!"

"Ah! No plums! I'm still waiting for the sawdust! I weren't born yesterday."

"Alright. I guess there's only one thing left to do. How about we trade?"

"And what could you possibly have that I'd want to trade for?"

Lincoln reached into his pocket and pulls out a comb. "Well I've got my lucky hair comb. Will that do?"

"I've already got plenty of those, thank you. Got anything else?"

"I could give you one of Lana's baseball caps."

"I've got a whole box full of baseball caps."

"How about some spandex?"

"Nah! Too tight."

"Hairbrush?"

"Got one."

"Well what about…" Lincoln pulls out an abacus. "...whatever this is?"

"That's an abacus Lincoln," Clyde corrected.

"I've got a yo-yo," Leni interrupted.

"It's over Clyde," Lincoln lamented. "No egg, no chicken, no omelette."

Just then they hear laughing and see Leni showing Liam the yo-yo and having fun with it. "You know, I'm not sure what it is about these things, but they sure are amusing."

Lincoln sees this as an opportunity. "So Liam, think we could work something out after all?"

"I guess so. Tell you what, I'll give you the plums you need to complete the trade, but only if I get to keep the yo-yo."

"Deal!"

* * *

The kids then go from place to place trading the plums for the bear, the bear for the racquet, the racquet for the clams, the clams for the paint, the paint for the sawdust and finally take the sawdust back to the barn. "Here you go Liam. We got your sawdust as promised."

"Well, looks like the trade is complete. Alright fellers, a deal is a deal. Here you go." Liam hands over the egg."

"Yes! Finally!"

"You know if you need help building an incubator," Clyde offered. "I'm here for you buddy."

"Oooh! Let me see it!" Leni takes the egg and holds it. "Aw, so tiny. You must be cramped in there. Fly, chicken, fly!" Leni opens the eggshell, which in turn makes a mess. "Guys, I think the chicken's gone bad."

Lincoln, having officially had it, fell backwards with his eyes closed and fainted. Leni looks concerned.

"Don't worry," Clyde reassured. "He'll be fine in about 3 hours. Or within the next story," he whispered to the audience. "Whichever comes first."


	29. The secret world of the Loud House

**Hey guys! Here I am once again. Now this story is going to be a little different. I've been thinking about the previous stories that I did, and I realized that I haven't done a story about Lily yet. So I thought I might give her a chance by doing this. Now I got this idea after watching the _Arthur_ episode _The Secret Life of Dogs and Babies_. Like that episode, I wanted to have Lily interacting with the Loud pets. And I wanted to have the pets talk instead of making noises. The only thing is that no one would be able to hear them except for Lily. Now the idea of having the pets talk was actually inspired when I was reading zachlor16's _Meeting a Loud_ and Smoking Wrecker's _Loud Heroes_ (both of which are my favorite stories by the way) so I thought it might be fun to do. With all that said, let us take a journey into the Secret World of the Loud House.**

* * *

 _A stack of building blocks is shown being made by a group of babies, who can be recognized as Tommy, Chuckie, Phil and Lil (AKA The Rugrats). Just then, Tommy's cousin Angelica comes in wearing his father's suit._

 _"Angelica?" Tommy questions. "What are you doing in daddy's clothes?"_

 _"Uncle Stu went to the grocery store, and he put me in charge. Aw, you babies look a little hungry. I better feed you your favorite food. Mashed Lima beans." Angelica walks away laughing sinisterly._

 _"Lima beans?! Yuck! We gotta get out of here before Angelica comes back!"_

 _"How come Tommy?" Chuckie wonders. "I kinda like Lima beans. They're not so bad."_

 _"We could climb up the pyramid," Lil suggested. So one by one, the babies climbed up the pyramid they made out of building blocks and make it out of the playpen._

 _"Why don't we just use the door?" Chuckie takes a plastic screwdriver and used it to unlock the door to the playpen. Once out, the babies grab onto their dog, spike and run out of the playroom._

* * *

Meanwhile, all that seems to be happening on a tv show that Lola and Lana were watching. Lily is sitting in between them with the four Loud pets Charles, Cliff, Walt and Geo.

"This show is ridiculous," Lily whined. "It makes no sense whatsoever. I mean, if I could get out of my crib that easily, I'd probably be halfway across the world. And how do the parents not know what they're doing? It doesn't make any sense."

" _A lot_ of things on television make no sense. That's what humans like it so much." Charles barked. "I kinda like the one without hair. He looks like a toy ball."

"Well I'm more interested in the redhead," Cliff meowed. "He's like a yarn ball with arms and legs."

"Not to mention those twins remind me of Lola and Lana," Walt tweeted.

"Yeah," Geo squeaked. "That is if Lola and Lana wore the _same_ outfit."

Lily groaned. "Why did we have to watch this stupid show anyway?"

"Because it's Lola and Lana's favorite show," the dog answered. "Personally, I'd prefer _All Dogs Go To Heaven_. Was that ever a good movie?"

"Yeah it was pretty good," Cliff said. "Almost as good as that show about _Garfield_. If he was here, I would hate to be Dad's lasagna."

"Yeah," Geo chuckled. "I'm partially a _G-Force_ fan myself."

"You mean that Disney movie with those guinea pigs?" Walt asked.

"Yeah, that's the one."

"Well my favorite is that show about those three little birds. I can't remember what it was called, but it had a chicken, a robin, and a duck. I think the chicken was named Peep or something."

"He's the chicken that lives in a tin can, right?"

"Yep."

"Huh. He was kinda cute. I think I knew a gerbil who lived in a bottle."

"Now, _Teletubbies_ ," Lily claimed. "That was a show with charm and morality. I kinda wish Lola still liked that show."

"Well, only one way to find out." Charles sees the remote right next to them and pressed the channel button, which immediately changes the channel on the television.

"Oh, come on Lola!" Lana complains. "Not this show!"

"What?" Her twin barked back. " _I_ didn't change it! You probably did! You're like a sneaky snake!"

"The remote was right next to you! I _saw_ you reach for it!"

"Oh, you did _not_!"

As the twins are arguing, Lily and the pets watch. "Here they go again," Lily sighed.

"Do you even _know_ what they're saying?" Charles asked.

"Sometimes, but there's some things I don't really pay attention to."

"You know what I _don't_ understand?" Cliff asks. "Why do they even fight when they know they are just gonna get tired of it? It doesn't make any sense."

"There's a lot of things in the world that don't make sense," Geo said.

"Yeah, you're right." With that, the pets and Lily just ignore the fighting and go back to watching television.

* * *

Later, Lily is taking a stroll through the park with her siblings and tries to make conversation with the pets. "You know Charles? I gotta hand it to you. This is a very nice day for a walk."

"It certainly is," the dog replied. "I don't know what it is about long walks, but they sure are relaxing." Just then, Charles finds a half eaten donut on the ground and eats it. He then hears a voice coming from somewhere.

"Ah, would you look at that. It's Charles the walking garbage disposal." The dog looked up and saw a brown raccoon digging out of the trash.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't ringtail Rigby. The one who eats from the garbage."

"Well that's more than I can say for you. Tell me something: do your owners never brush your teeth or did you eat something dead this morning, because that would explain your _foul_ mouth."

"You want a piece of me, Rigby? Come on! Let's go! You! Me! One on one! Right here, right now!"

"As much as I love to stay and chat, I really gotta get going. See you around Fido." The raccoon then heads off.

"Why you ringtail, trash eating coward! Get back here and put up your dukes!"

"Forget it, Charlie," Cliff consoled. "That raccoon's not worth the trouble."

* * *

Back at the Loud house, Cliff is in the backyard relaxing under a tree, when he hears someone taunting him. He looks up and sees a blue jay standing on a branch. "Yo, Cliff! Lovely day isn't it?"

"Oh hello, Mordecai," Cliff meowed sarcastically. "What brings _you_ here?"

"Can't a guy just hang out wherever he wants without being interrupted?"

" _I_ should be asking _you_ that. Go find someone _else_ to bother, why don't you?"

"Well maybe you should go bother that parakeet friend of yours."

"Hey! Walt's more than a friend, he's _family_! And you leave him out of this!"

"Ah, you're just saying that because you can't catch birds, _Sylvester_."

"Quit mocking me! Why I'll have you know, I could pounce on you if I wanted to!"

"Oh you could, could you? Well in that case," Mordecai flies off the branch down to the ground. "Why don't you do it _now?_ Go ahead, I _dare_ you. _Try_ to pounce on me."

Cliff then stepped back and then charged forward to pounce, but Mordecai lifts himself in the air and Cliff crashed into the tree.

"Psyche! I told you you couldn't catch a bird. You can't even catch an ostrich. Never _have_ , never _will_." Mordecai then flew back into the tree.

"I'll get you next time! Just you wait!"

"Ha, ha!" Mordecai taunted. " _I'm the king of the castle!_ "

"Aw, shut your beak!" Cliff then proceeded into the house, feeling rather grumpy. In the kitchen, Charles watched Cliff as he entered through the pet door.

"Let me guess: Mordecai?"

" _Mordecai_."

As Cliff leaves, Charles looks to the audience. "Sometimes I don't know why he bothers with that bird."

Cliff goes up the stairs and sees Walt in Lisa's room, standing on a globe, posing as a superhero. Cliff sees this as a perfect opportunity.

"Hiya Walt!" Cliff said. "Whatcha doing?"

"Nothing. Just standing on top of the world. Zing! Get it? Luan's not the only one who can make jokes you know."

"Yeah, yeah. I gotta admit, that was pretty clever. Say, you weren't thinking about flying, were you?"

"Well…"

"Cuz you know, the kids _love_ things that can fly."

"They do? Really?" Cliff nods. "Well alright! I've always wanted to say this. To infinity and beyond!"

Walt prepares to fly, but Cliff turns the globe around and Walt smacks his face into the wall and then falls behind the dresser. "Heh heh. You know, people love things that they can _find_." With that, Cliff heads out of the room. "What a featherhead."

* * *

Later the sisters and the parents walk into the dining room and find Lincoln is searching for something. "Where are they? They've got to be somewhere."

"Hey bro," Luna greets. "Whatcha doing?"

"Oh nothing," Lincoln said sarcastically, "just decided to make a mess in the dining room because it's a lot more important than looking for something that happens to be important to me. What does it _look_ like I'm doing!?"

"Lincoln," Rita said sternly. "Watch your temper."

"Sorry. I'm just a little stressed out right now. You see, I made a diagram of my family that I was gonna enter in a young artists' presentation. But I lost the figurines I made and I can't find them anywhere. And the presentation is later this afternoon!"

"Hang on, we'll give you a hand." Rita sets Lily down right next to the pets.

"Something weird seems to be going on with Linky," Lily said to the pets.

"Do you think he has fleas?" Charles asked.

"Don't be ridiculous, dog," Cliff scoffed. "Humans don't get _fleas_ , they get lice."

"I think it's something else guys," Lily confirmed. "I think he's _looking_ for something. Something that's supposed to go inside that wooden box."

"I hope this isn't like the time he borrowed my house," Walt squawked.

"Oh yeah, I remember that," Geo recalled. "You kept pecking him in the head."

"Well that's what he gets for being a cheater."

"Come on Lincoln," Lori said. "Can't you just make new figurines?"

"You guys don't understand!" Lincoln answered. "Like you guys, those things were one of a kind and I wanted them to look just like all 10 of you. I spent 4 straight days working on them."

As the siblings are chattering, Lily spots eleven wooden carvings under the dining room table. "Hey, look! Those little statues look just like Lincoln and his sisters!"

"They do not!" Charles argued. "Lincoln and his sisters have a lot more colors." The dog then takes a sniff. "And they smell different."

"Well I'll bet that's what Linky's looking for. I'm sure of it." Lily crawls over to the table.

"... and if I don't find those carvings I'm gonna be disqualified! Who knows when I'm gonna have the opportunity again?!" Lincoln bangs his head on the table in despair.

"It's okay sweetie," his mother consoled. "I'll help you look for them after I put Lily down for her nap."

"And we'll help out too," Lynn added.

"Thanks guys."

"No problem." Rita then called one of her daughters. "Lola, come in here and clean up your toys!"

As all the Louds go searching around the house, Lily still makes her way to the dinner table. She finds the models under the tablecloth, but unexpectedly, she gets picked up by her mother. "Mother, now is _not_ the time for a nap! Linky is in trouble and I _must_ help him!"

But unfortunately, Rita doesn't understand what Lily is saying. "Aww. I bet you're just about ready for a nap, aren't you sweetie?"

"See?!" Lily said to the viewers. "She won't even let me get a word in edgewise. Course if I could actually _talk_ to her, it'd be easier." Rita takes her upstairs to her room.

"Well there she goes," Charles lamented. "Oh, so young. So optimistic. So hopeful. We might never see her cute little face again."

"Charles," Cliff groaned. "It's only gonna be for an hour."

"Well it feels _longer_ in dog years."

"Guys!" Lily called. "You have to find those little statues and give them to Linky!"

"Why?"

"I don't know why! I just know that they're very important! Promise me guys!"

"We promise Lily! We won't let you down!" The pets then run back to the table and find the carvings. Charles takes a sniff at them. "Aspen wood?"

"I still don't see what the big deal is," Walt groaned.

"Walt!" Charles scolded. "Can't you try to be a little more supportive and enthusiastic for once? Why does everything have to be a problem with you."

"Look, I know everything thing is great in this house. Everybody is happy, carefree, and I'm cool with that. But one thing you gotta know, it's also full of unexpected turns of events. For instance, someone's probably gonna barge right in here and snatch these wood carvings. These stupid, pathetic, miniature balsa wood figurine carvings!"

"I thought you liked them," Geo said.

"I WAS BEING NICE!"

"Calm down you two," the dog ordered. "Let's just do what we have to do and then go." The pets are about to grab the figurines, but a hand snatched them away.

"It's not fair! All I do is work in this house!" Lola takes the figurines and puts them in her toy case. "Some of these things aren't even mine!" She then packs them up and heads upstairs, but Charles catches up and tries to get it back by having a tug of war. "Hey! Lana! This crazy dog is trying to eat my toys!"

"He's probably just hungry because he hasn't had his breakfast yet." Lana then takes Charles away to the kitchen.

* * *

Meanwhile, Lily is in her crib looking quite tired (not like sleepy, but more like annoyed). "This stinks! I get put to bed and I'm not even sleepy! Don't parents even know when we're feeling tired or not?" Lily then thinks about the diagram Lincoln was making. "Wonder what could be so important about those statues. Maybe it's a recipe for revealing the secret to peace on earth. Or what if it's a machine that can turn humans into animals, or grown ups into children? Or maybe it'll open a portal to another universe where everything is bright, colorful and cheery. Well whatever the reason, I know it's very important. And I'm not gonna rest until I find it."

Just then, she hears Lola walking all the way to her room, looking pretty grumpy. "Those animals get 10 meals a day, and what do I get? Nothing but chores! Chores all day, chores all night, chores, chores and more chores! Oh for the love of how I hate chores!" Lily then spots the carvings in Lola's toy case.

"Oh no! The statues! This crib is too high to climb, and there's no plastic screwdriver. I could try crying. It works for everything else." Lily then lets out a loud wail, and lucky for her, the crying grabs Lola's attention.

"What is it Lily? Are you hungry? Tired?" Lily pointed at Lola's toy case. "You want to see my toys? Okay."

Lily stopped crying and Lola opened the toy case. She then pulls out a stuffed cucumber with a face on it and hands it to her. "Larry the Cucumber? I don't want Larry the Cucumber."

* * *

In the kitchen, Lana is busy giving the pets their food. "So hungry….." Charles drooled but tries to resist. "No! Not now! Must…..keep…..control!" The pets refuse to eat. Then Lana gets another idea.

"Charles!" Lana said with her hands behind her back. "Look what I've got for you! Bacon!" Lana pulls out a strip of bacon from behind her back and the dog's mouth starts to water.

"Dogs," Cliff groaned. "Seriously? What is it with them and bacon? I could not imagine….." the cat then takes a sniff and what else Lana has in her hand. "Are those sardines I smell?"

"And sunflower seeds?" Walt asked.

However Geo is unaffected. "Come on guys! Focus! We have a job to do, remember!?" However, the rest of the pets don't seem to pay attention. "Are you guys even listening to me!? Hello?!"

The three other pets are daydreaming about having paradise of food. With mountains of bacon and steak, a river of sardines and trees made of bird seeds. Just then, everything's interrupted when they hear a loud cry. The pets snap back to reality.

"Wait a minute!" Charles shook his head. "What are we doing?"

"Come on!" Geo exclaimed. "Let's go help Lily!"

The four pets run out of the kitchen and dashed upstairs. Lana, looking quite confused and concerned, decides to follow them.

The pets run into Lisa and Lily's room to see Lily holding on to the wood carvings and Lola trying to take them back. "Lily! I told you! That's too fragile for you to play with! They might break!"

"Guys! I've got the statues, but I can't hold on much longer!" Lily said as she struggled. "Give me a hand!"

The pets look at their paws for a second. "But we don't have any!" Charles claims.

"Yeah!" Cliff confirmed. "All we have are paws!"

"Well technically," Walt explains. " _You_ guys have paws. _I_ have _wings_."

"I don't care!" Lily shouts. "Just do something!"

Just then, Charles bites onto Lola's dress and tries to pull her back. The others help out too by pulling each other back. They pulled back so hard that Lola falls backwards and then lets go of the statues. The figurines fly into the air and the pets each catch one in either their mouths, paws or wings (or in this case, Geo's hamster ball).

"Nice catch guys," Lily said in astonishment.

"Oh it was nothing," Charles gloated. "I don't mean to brag but I did take first place at the Royal Woods fetching competition. I could've gone pro."

"Well I'd like to see Hops try to beat you with his tongue," Cliff responded.

"Well _I'd_ like to see him beat me while being tag teamed with the Casagrandes' dog, Lalo."

Lana runs into the room soon after. "Guys! What has gotten into you….." Just then, something in their grasp attracted her attention. "Hey! Those must be the wood carvings that Lincoln was looking for!" The pets then immediately run out of the room between Lana's legs, making her fall on her bottom. "Ow! Guys! You come back here with those!"

The pets run downstairs to the living room and see Lincoln looking under the coffee table. They tried really hard to get his attention, but it doesn't work. "Not now guys! I'm busy!" They try again, but Lincoln gets more annoyed. "I said not now! I'll play with you later!" The pets then give up.

"Humans," Charles complained. "We give them the best years of our lives, and what do they give us? The old talk to the hand treatment."

"Well, might as well get started on that food in the meantime," Cliff said as they entered the kitchen.

* * *

Moments later, the pets walk out of the kitchen feeling full and satisfied. "Boy am I stuffed," Charles claims. "That food was enough to feed a horse."

"I'll say," Walt agreed.

Just then Lana rushed down the stairs to confront the pets. "Alright guys! Where are the figurines? Where are they?" As soon as she sees they have nothing, she comes to a possible realization."Oh no! You didn't!"

"Didn't what?!" The others rush into the room immediately.

"Guys, I think the pets might have….eaten the figurines."

"What?!"

"I'm done!" Lincoln shouts in exasperation. "That's it! I'm finished! Ruined!"

"It'll be okay Linky," Leni consoles.

"No it won't! This was my one chance to win something and those guys screwed it all up! Without those figurines, my presentation is just a plain brown box!"

"Lincoln, you'll be fine."

"Yeah," Lana agrees. "Maybe you can just tell everyone that the models are so amazing, they don't appear to the human eye."

"Tell you what, little bro," Lori said. "We'll go with you too the presentation for emotional support." She then gives a stern look to the pets. "And we'll deal with you guys when we get back."

* * *

Outside, the Louds are loading up the van. Rita walks to the car carrying Lily with her. "Did you give the statues to Linky?"

"We tried!" Charles barked. "But he didn't even _listen_ to us! And what's even worse is that they think we ruined everything!"

"Humans move at a different pace you know! You'll just have to try again!"

"You're right! And we will!"

"Great! I heard the word 'art' a couple of times, so we might be going to-." Lily is interrupted as the car door shuts and the van drives off.

"Great! Just great! How are we supposed to get the statues to Lincoln when we don't even know where to go?"

"I got an idea!" Cliff tried to whistle, but his paws prevented him from doing so. "Ah, so that's why cats can't whistle."

"No but birds can." With that said, Walt lets out a really loud whistle. The sound catches the attention of Lana's pet frog, Hops, who jumped out of the window, off the roof and onto the ground.

"What's up guys?" He asked.

"Listen, Hops! We need your help! We need to get the statues to Lincoln, but we don't know which way to go! You're Lana's best friend. Did she say where they were going?"

"Well I remembered she mentioned something about art and a banquet, then I heard her parents say they were heading to….the Royal Woods convention center!"

"That must be where they're headed!" Cliff realized.

"Great!" Geo exclaimed. "Now all we have to do is get the statues and bring them there!"

"Way ahead of you. Hey guys!" Just then, the rest of the animals, including Izzy, Bitey, Gary, Fangs and El Diablo, bash through the front door each with a wooden carving in their possession.

"Fantastic!" The pets take the statues and then head out. "Thanks Hops. We owe you one."

"Good luck you guys!"

* * *

The pets then spot the van as they are rushing through the streets, but the car is too far ahead of them. "The van is too fast!" Geo exclaimed. "We'll never catch up!"

"Yes we will! We just have to-." Just then, Charles' leash gets caught on something and pulls him back. "Oh, why did they have to put this leash on me before they left? Now what do we do?"

"Well well well, what have we here?" The pets look up to see, not only the leash caught on a branch, but they also see Mordecai the bluejay and Rigby the raccoon in the tree. "If it isn't Charles and his flea ridden friends. All dressed up and no place to go."

"Mordecai, Rigby! You have to help us! We'll do anything."

"I don't know. What do you think, Mordecai?"

"Hmm, hmm," Mordecai thinks for a bit. "Let's see. They could be our personal servants for a week."

"No, that would probably be too much to hope for. Plus we'd probably catch their fleas."

"Could we hurry this up guys?" Charles anticipated.

"Aha! I've got it! ….. _Beg_!"

Charles gulped. "This is so degrading."

The Loud pets begin to beg by showing their cuteness. Mordecai and Rigby begin laughing hysterically at the sight of this! "Oh! That's rich! I love it!" Rigby unties the leash from the tree branch and the pets began to run off.

"Okay, what's the shortest way to the convention center?"

"Just take a left at the bakery, a right at the laundromat, then go straight till you hit the scent of paint and fresh pizza!"

* * *

At the convention center, everyone is taking their seats, but Lincoln is still nervous while his sisters are still trying to comfort him. "Oh man! Oh ma, oh man, oh man! Everyone's out there! Waiting!"

"Lincoln! Relax!" Lola commands.

"I can't relax! My presentation is about to come up next and it's gonna be a disaster!"

"Hey, it'll be okay son," his father explains. "You've given presentations before, you can do it again."

Meanwhile, Lily is in a nearby toddler zone, also looking nervous. "This is not gonna end well. I just hope Linky won't be too disappointed."

"Have some faith Lilster, because help has just arrived!" Lily turns around to see Charles, Cliff, Walt and Geo with the figurines.

"Guys! I knew you'd make it! Come on! We don't have much time!"

" _Our next contestant….LINCOLN LOUD!_ " Says the announcer.

"Okay! I've got a plan," the dog claims. "But you're gonna have to trust me."

Everyone nods.

"Good! Now everyone grab a statue!"

Everybody takes a figurine and prepare to launch them like a catapult.

"Here we go! We've only got one shot! So let's make it count!"

Lincoln approaches the stage with the open box set.

"Ready? Aim!"

Lincoln is almost close to the presentation table.

"Alright everyone! LAUNCH!"

The pets and Lily send the statues flying into the air and landing right into Lincoln's diagram without him noticing.

"Yes! We did it!"

Lincoln covered his eyes, but then takes a quick peak. And to his surprise, he finds the wood carvings of each of his sisters are in the diagram in perfect condition. "Huh? How?"

"Ladies and gentlemen," the announcer says. "Lincoln Loud and his diagram. Lincoln, would you care to tell us about this little project of yours."

"Umm….uh….I...uhhh…." Lincoln still feels nervous, but he looks and sees his sisters in the audience giving him encouragement. So Lincoln took a deep breath and tried to relax. "Why, yes sir, I would. Ahem! This diagram of mine represents my family and how much they mean to me. Like my family members, each wood carving is special and unique in its own way. It shows that not only am I lucky to have parents who support me, but I'm also lucky to have sisters who are responsible, fashionable, musical, funny, athletic, emotional, helpful, beautiful, smart and innocent, and for that, I am forever grateful." The audience cheers while the Loud family tears up after hearing the speech.

"Well, it looks as though we have a winner!" Lincoln is presented with a ribbon as the curtain closes and the rest of his family goes backstage to congratulate him.

"Lincoln, that was so beautiful!" Leni cheered.

"Yeah bro!" Luna added. "You're presentation was totally rockin'!"

"But….I-I don't understand! How did….?" Lincoln then felt a tug of his pants. He looks down to see his baby sister trying to tell him something. "What is it Lily?"

Lily pointed to herself and the pets, then to the wooden models.

"Wait! Are you trying to tell me that you guys are the ones who brought my models here?"

The pets are Lily nod their heads in confirmation.

"Well, I'm not sure how you did it. But I really appreciate what you did for me. Thanks." Lincoln then picks Lily up and they all head to the buffet table. "Come on guys, I think you've earned yourselves a treat."

"We did it, you guys!" Lily said to the pets. "We did it!"

"Well it just goes to show," Charles said. "Just because we can't _talk_ doesn't mean they can't _listen_ to us."

"And the best part is," Geo exclaimed, "we get to eat!"

* * *

Everyone is eating at the buffet table. "You know, I'm glad they let us stay around a while," Charles claimed. This food is delicious!"

However, Lily just keeps spinning her bottle on the table. "Lily?" Geo asked curiously. "You haven't touched your formula. What's the matter?"

"Oh, it's nothing," Lily answered. "I just thought that once we put the statues into the box, something strange would happen. Like maybe everyone would turn into little children. It seems kinda silly of me to think that would ever happen."

"But something is happening."

"That's true," Walt said as he saw everybody dancing. "Most of them may not _look_ like children, but they are _behaving_ like children. They're playing with their toys, acting silly, they're even sharing their food. And the best part is, Lincoln's happy because of what we did."

"You're right!" Lily shouts. "I'm glad Lincoln's happy."

"Well if it wasn't for us, he wouldn't _be_ happy."

"I don't what these guys would do without us."

* * *

 **Well, there you have it. Now you may be wondering why these stories don't take too long to come out. Well depending on what they're going to be about, I tend to work on multiple stories simultaneously. But I have to be honest, there's a chance this next one might take a little longer but I guarantee it's gonna be pretty good.**

 **Now another thing you might be wondering is why I decided to include Lily and the pets in their own chapter. Well, looking back, I realized most of the chapters seem to be centered around Lola, Lana and Lincoln. So I wanted to give other characters of the show a chance to have their own stories. Not just with Lincoln's sisters, but with the side characters as well. Now it'll mostly depend on how well I know the character but if you have any suggestions on which character should have their own story, feel free to let me know. Until next time, so long everybody.**


	30. Pie in the Sky

**Here's yet another _Regular Show_ parody. For this one, I decided to do a parody on the episode Eggscellent, only instead of eggs, I decided to use pies. The reason why will be explained as you read.**

* * *

It starts with Lana and Lincoln sitting on the couch watching television. Just then, Lori comes in. "Hey, you two! Aren't you supposed to be cleaning out the attic today?"

"We're on our snack break," Lana answered.

"What she said," Lincoln agrees.

"Sure. It _really_ looks like you're having a gourmet feast. You better get back to work," Lori said as she left.

"Fine, we're going." But just as Lincoln was about to shut off the television, Lana stopped him once she sees a commercial.

"Wait! Look!" She pointed.

 _"Once every decade does an eating challenge appear with the ability to blow everyone away. The Pie in the Sky challenge is that challenge. Pies of all kinds: apple, cherry, peach, blueberry and pumpkin. Finish 12 assorted pies in under an hour, and your party eats for free, and you win this hat that says "I love pie" on it. That's right, finish the pies and get the coolest hat ever made. Many have tried, all have failed, be the first to win. What are you waiting for?"_

After the commercial ends, Lana is left stunned.

"So amazing!" Lana says quite astonished. "I have to win that hat!"

"Yeah right," Lincoln said sarcastically. "Sis, did you see the size of those pies? No one's ever gonna win that prize."

"Aw come on! Didn't you see how awesome that hat was? It was a net hat! Don't you think I'd look great in it?"

"Lana, those hats aren't even cool anymore."

"Yes they are! Truckers wear them all the time! It's got air holes in the back to keep a crossbreeze going and everything!"

"Alright fine. It's cool. But seriously? A twelve pie contest? Why don't you just _buy_ the hat?"

"That doesn't make a good story. 'Hey, where'd you get that hat? I bought it. Why does it say 'I like pie' on it? Oh it really doesn't matter because I just paid for it with cash!' Besides, why would you buy it anyway when you can get it for _free_?"

"Yeah, but those pies would probably cost more than…."

"You know what? Forget it! You want to order a single measilly dessert pastry, that's fine by me. But when you're all finished and you're still hungry, don't come crying to me, because I ain't sharing!"

"Yeah, but….."

"Shut up!"

"But…"

"I said shut up!"

"Augh! Fine! We'll go to the stupid bakery! I hate when you talk like that."

"Thank you kindly."

* * *

The two kids are at the bakery and the cashier asks them for their order. "What will you have?"

"I'll take a blueberry muffin," Lincoln answered. "And a warm croissant."

"And I'll have the _Pie in the Sky_ challenge," Lana said determined.

"Oh, I wouldn't recommend the pie challenge," the cashier warned. "It's more of a promotional item."

"Yeah, and it's the only reason we're here, so…"

"Little girl, it's really just…."

"Hold it! Hold it! Wait a minute! I'm confused. I'm the customer, right?"

"Yes."

"And what does the sign say?" Lana pointed to a sign on the cashier counter.

" _'The customer is always right._ '"

"And what am I?"

"The customer."

"And the sign?"

"Little girl, please."

"Say it!"

"The customer is always right."

"That's right."

"What would you like?"

"Bring me the pies."

* * *

Moments later, an ambulance comes by and Lincoln and Lana are inside it, with the latter being on a hospital bed.

"Girl! You're allergic to rhubarb?!" Lincoln said exasperated.

"How was I supposed to know one of them was a _rhubarb_ pie?" Lana said feeling very weak. "I thought if I ate them really fast, maybe I wouldn't notice. I just really wanted that hat."

"Sis! This is why I tell you to check first!"

"I know and I'm sorry." Lana then lets out a nasty cough. "Lincoln, come here." Lincoln leaned his face towards his sister. "Promise me that no matter what, you'll win the hat for me. Promise me…"

"Okay sis. I promise."

"You're a…... good…...brother….." Lana then closes her eyes and becomes completely unresponsive.

"Lana? LANA?!" Lincoln starts to tear up. "Little sis?"

* * *

At the hospital, Lana is in a coma while the rest of her family (including the parents and Lily) are talking with the doctors.

"I don't understand!" The father exclaimed. "Usually when she gets an allergic reaction, her face just swells up."

"Well Mr. Loud," the doctor explains. "What your daughter has now is an _advanced_ case. Due to the large amount of rhubarb that was in those pies, her body couldn't handle it all. And there's a slim chance that she may never wake up again."

Lola looks shocked. "You mean she'll….."

"I'm afraid so. I'm sorry."

As the doctor left, Lori and Lola gave a scorn look at Lincoln. "I hope you're literally proud of yourself."

"What? Me? Why?"

"Maybe if you just helped us out with the attic like you were supposed to, none of this would've happened." Lola said.

"It wasn't my fault! She didn't know one of the pies was rhubarb!"

"And look where that got her! My polar opposite twin is only gonna get you into trouble!"

"Why you little!" Lincoln gets furious and tries to tackle Lola, but Lynn Jr. and Luna prevent him from doing so.

"Cool it, little bro," Luna comforted. "There's no need to get hasty."

Lincoln settled down a bit but he was still pretty upset. "It's not fair! How could you dis your own sister like that!?"

"Hey, don't blame me!" Lola retaliated. "If Lana was trying to be a good friend, she wouldn't drag you into some crazy situations like this!"

"Oh sure," Lincoln said sarcastically. "Take advice from Lola. The one who knows _so_ much about friends since she has _so many_."

"I have friends."

"No you don't! Everyone just hangs out with you because you threaten them! You're just a spoiled brat who will stop at nothing to get what you want! And Lori! Everyone just takes your side because you're the oldest! Just because you were born first doesn't give you the right to call all the shots!"

"Honey," Rita consoled. "I know you're upset…"

"Dang right I'm upset!"

"Lincoln! Watch your language!" His mother then realized. "Oh, you did. Sorry."

"Lana really wanted to win that hat. I don't want to lose her because of it." Lincoln makes his way toward the door.

"Where do you think you're going?" Lola said.

"I'm not gonna let my little sister die," Lincoln responded. "I'm going back to the bakery. I made a promise to Lana and i'm gonna keep it. That's the good big brother's job." Lincoln then heads out the door, leaving everyone stunned.

"Awkward," Lynn Jr. replied.

* * *

Back at the bakery, Lincoln is at the cashier counter, but then received the answer he did not want to hear. "What do you mean it's not for sale?!"

"I mean it's not for sale," the cashier replied.

"Look, this is really important. My little sister really wanted to win that hat, but now she's in a coma because of her stupid allergy. Please, you gotta make an exception."

"Listen pal, I'm sorry about your sister, but I can't just sell you the hat. It's not in my jurisdiction."

"Then let me do the challenge."

"Kid, please don't."

"Bring me the pies!"

Lincoln is seated at the table and the cashier hands him the pies. The timer starts and Lincoln begins eating. However, he wasn't able to finish in time.

"Times up."

"Please, just sell me the hat," Lincoln says feeling full and nauseous.

"I'm sorry kid. The hat is not for sale."

"Augh!" Lincoln, having officially had it, furiously threw one of the pies against a window. "Forget this place. I'm outta here," he said as he made his way out there door.

* * *

Back at the hospital, Lana is still in a coma as Lincoln is trying to talk to her. "I'm really sorry, Lana. I couldn't do it. I failed as a brother, a champion and a human being." Lana still doesn't give an answer. "Come on sis, I could use some words of encouragement. Wake up!" Still no answer. "Come on Lana! Please don't die. I don't want to be minus one sister in my life."

As Lincoln reached the point where he's about to cry, all five of his older sisters and Lola made their way inside.

"Hey, little bro," Lori greeted.

"What do you guys want?" Lincoln grumbled.

"Look," Lola stepped in. "I just wanted to apologize about earlier. I realized that what I said was really out of line and I didn't mean it. I'm sorry Linky."

"It's okay Lola," Lincoln sighed. "I guess I kinda overreacted. I was just a little frustrated is all. I made a promise to Lana and I failed her. Now she's gonna die and it's all my fault."

"Not necessarily," Lynn exclaimed. "There might be a way you can still win."

"What do you mean?"

"You guys wanna tell him?"

"Okay," Lori said. "You were only one year old at the time, but 10 years ago, we knew someone named Karen McAlister. She was about Lynn's age and like Lana, she was obsessed with that hat. It was all she could think about. And she was determined to win that contest. So everyday, she went back to that same bakery to complete the contest. Those pies were the only thing she would ever eat. She even kept a journal to herself, filling it with numerous techniques. Until finally, she discovered the secret. She announced to everyone that she figured it out, but no one believed her."

"So what happened?" Lincoln asked.

"No one knows. On that same day, she went back to finish the contest, but she never came back. No one ever saw her again."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because," Lynn pulls out Karen's notebook. "I found her notebook in her old locker. I think her technique on how to finish the contest is still in there. If you're willing to take the risk, you might be able to to win the hat for Lana."

"I don't know. What if I can't do it? What if I fail?"

"That's what we're here for. We are going to be your coaches."

"You guys are willing to help me?"

"Lincoln, you said it yourself, the great thing about having a big family is that there's always someone to have your back. And you have your family here to guide you. You are a Loud, and a Loud _never_ gives up."

"Alright! I'll do! But first," Lincoln turned to one of his sisters. "Luna, a little training montage music?"

"You got it bro!"

A montage begins of the rest of the girls training Lincoln for the contest.

* * *

Moments later, the girls and Lincoln arrived back at the bakery, but Lincoln was still having second thoughts.

"This isn't gonna be easy," he said.

"Just stick to the training and you'll do fine," Lori insisted.

"Thanks." Just before entering, Lincoln turned back around for a second. "Hey, Lori, Lola? Sorry about what I said before. Even though you guys can be bossy jerks most of the time, you're still really good sisters."

"Just get in there and win that hat for Lana," Lola said feeling rather proud.

"For Lana."

Inside the bakery, the cashier sees someone approaching the counter. "Good morning sir. Are you ready to order?"

"Bring me the pies," Lincoln said determined.

"Little mister, while I appreciate your efforts and determination, I highly recommend you order something else."

"Give me the pies or I'm walking out!"

The cashier and waiters bring the pies to Lincoln's table and started the timer. Lincoln begins using a technique he learned by mixing different slices of pie together and then eating them. The cashier is truly shocked that Lincoln knows the secret to winning and tries to put a stop to it. "No! Stop!"

"Eh!" Lola and the rest of Lincoln's sisters are standing in the way. "Let him finish!"

"Okay everyone!" Lori ordered. "You know what to do! No matter what, keep them away from Lincoln!"

"You got it, big sis!"

The Loud sisters begin fighting the staff and trying to keep them away from their brother. As Lincoln is coming close to finishing, the timer goes off.

"I'm sorry sir, but your time is…..up?" The cashier sees that Lincoln has successfully completed the challenge. "Oh no. We were only trying to help!"

"Wait, What!?" Lincoln then magically appeared in a mysterious room filled with all sorts of hats. "What happened? Where am I?"

"Greetings oh white haired one." Lincoln turned around to see a knight. "You have made it to the final test of the Pie in the Sky challenge. You must choose your prize, but choose wisely, for if you choose the wrong one, you will disappear forever."

Lincoln spotted a picture frame in front of him, which appeared to be Karen McAlister who has chosen the incorrect hat, which was a tiara.

"Karen McAlister…" Lincoln whispered to himself. He then looked over the many different hat selections. "How am I gonna choose? Come on! Think Lincoln, think! What did Lana say it looked like?"

Lincoln then remembered what Lana said earlier. _"Did you see how amazing that hat was? It was a net hat! Truckers wear them all the time. It's got air holes in the back to keep a crossbreeze going and everything."_

Lincoln then spotted the hat that fits the description. "This must be it!" Lincoln then takes the hat and puts it on his head.

"You have chosen…..correctly." Lincoln teleports back home. "Well, there goes another one." The Knight walks over to a nearby closet filled with numerous trucker hats and places one of them in the same spot where Lincoln made his choice.

* * *

Once the Louds arrive back at the hospital, they immediately headed to the room Lana was in. While she was still in the hospital bed, Lincoln placed the prize hat on her head and Lana slowly started to wake up.

"I…...I'm alive?" She stammered while her vision was still blurry. "I'm alive. I'm alive!" Lana then felt what was on her head. "And you won the hat for me!"

"So, how do you feel little sis?" Lincoln asked.

"I feel great! Although I think I saw great Grandma Harriet when I was in a coma."

"Lucky," Lucy lamented.

"And I'm pretty sure I saw a crazy orange monkey too. But anyway, thanks for winning me the hat Lincoln! You're the best!"

"Well…..I didn't do it by myself," Lincoln clarified. "I kinda had a little help." Lincoln winked at the rest of the girls who then gave a wink back.

"Thanks guys. Now what do you say we go get some pie to celebrate?"

The girls cheered, but Lincoln's stomach started to growl from eating so many. "No more for me. I'm full on pies."

"Eh. Suit yourself."

* * *

 **Fun Fact: in case you didn't know, Lana's allergy to rhubarb was revealed in the episode _Fool's Paradise._**


	31. The moldy experience

**A parody of the _Chowder_ episode _The Moldy Touch_ (one of my favorites by the way).**

* * *

The Louds were busy in the dining room preparing a special project. It was a set of delectable food in the shape of the world's famous landmarks. Lisa was the supervisor. "Careful. Careful. Perfect, we're finished."

"Finally," Lori said feeling relaxed. "That literally took three whole hours."

"Why did we agree to do this again?" Lola asked.

"Because Dad needs this project done for the Royal Woods culinary culture contest," Lincoln answered.

"So?"

"So It was the least we could do since the investor incident."

"And?"

"And if we don't commit to our promise, Mom and Dad are gonna ground us for not listening."

"Oh yeah. That was dumb of us."

"Relax Lola," said her twin sister Lana. "We're done. High five!" Lana reached across the table to give her twin a high five, but by complete accident, her other hand landed on the food sculpture, smushing it in the process.

"No!"

"Oops. Sorry."

* * *

The siblings are later sculpting again, but this time Lana is not included. Instead she is sitting on a stool in the corner holding a spoon in one hand. "Are you sure you don't need me to do anything?"

"Oh no. No," Lisa reassured. "You just stay way over there and hold that spoon."

"Like this?"

"Precisely. Holding that spoon and not moving is the most helpful thing you can do right now. Right siblings?" Lincoln and the others agreed.

"Then I shall hold this spoon as it has never been held before!" Lana holds on to the spoon tighter and tighter until her palms got sweaty and the spoon slipped right out of her hands and hits the trophy case causing it to tip. Lincoln and Lynn tried to stop it from falling (which they did), but then one of the trophies fell off the shelf and hit Lisa on the head making her unconscious. The others then glare at the tomboyish sister. "Uh oh."

* * *

Moments later, Lisa is awake with a bandage wrapped around her head. "Lana, I never thought I'd have to say this," the young scientist scolded. "But you can't help with this task!"

"But I _am_ helpful! Just let me…."

"Nope! Lana, my mind is made up! Now go make yourself useful and just wait in your room and don't come out until we're finished!"

With that, Lana slowly dragged herself up to her room with a very sad heart.

"Don't you think we're being a little too hard on her?" Lincoln asked.

"Lincoln, this is _Lana_ we're talking about," the young princess twin exclaimed. "She's a hardcore tomboy. She'll be fine."

"I guess."

"I wouldn't worry about her _too_ much, elder brother," Lisa stated. "Now let's get back to work."

"Oh do we _have_ to?" Lynn groaned.

"You know the routine, start the batter while I get the…" Lisa opens a jar and finds it completely empty. "That's strange. We're all out of the special ingredient. How can that be?"

"How can _that_ be?! What do _you_ think?!" Lynn shouted as she pointed to a pile of swept up debris.

"Oh right."

"What's so special about that ingredient anyway?" Lincoln questioned.

"If you must know, that solitary ingredient is known to enhance the gustatory perception once it comes in contact with the gustatory dorsum." Once again, the siblings are all confused. "It gives the dish that extra zing," Lisa simplified. "Unfortunately, the only place we have any more is…. _the basement_!"

All the siblings look towards the basement door while a dramatic music plays in the background. Out in the distance, the Louds friends and neighbors do the same thing.

"Yep," Lisa confirms. "Down the basement into the vault."

"You mean that secret vault that you told us not to go in because many of the stuff in it was too much for mankind to even be able to handle?" Lincoln asked.

"Affirmative. And since you so accurately pointed that out," Lisa moved Lincoln in front of her encouraging him to go down the steps. "I do wish you the best of luck in retrieving that ingredient."

"What?! No way am I going down there! Why don't you make _Lola_ go?!"

"No way!" Lola protested. "It's dark and creepy down there! Why can't _Lucy_ do it? She _loves_ spooky things!"

"Hard pass," Lucy refused. "That place is to terrifying even by _my_ standards."

"Why don't we let _Lori_ go in?" Leni asked. "She's the oldest."

"And I decide _not_ to go," Lori rebutted. "Why not you?"

"Are you kidding me? There could be spiders in there!"

"Why can't _Lisa_ go?" Lynn interjected. "It's _her_ vault."

"Although I am normally oblivious to such inane emotions, I regret that I must decline." All the others give her an unamused look. "What? Even geniuses have fears, you know."

"Well someone has to go down and get it." Lincoln thinks. "Who do we know that's daring, helpful and willing to do anything dangerous?"

While the others are thinking, Lisa comes up with the right person for the job. "I know just the one," she said with a devious smile.

* * *

Back in the twins room, Lana is lying in her bed with her covers over her and her face buried into her pillow, when all of a sudden, Lisa arrived. "Dear sister?"

"Leave me alone, Lisa!" Lana said still feeling sorry with her face still in her pillow.

Lisa walked over to her bed and pulled the blanket off. "While I respect your current decision, I must require your assistance."

"Well forget it! Go away! You don't need me! I'll just get in the way and make a big mess!"

"Listen, I may be a mother of science, but I'm truly capable of compassion and mercy. So I'm willing to give you a second chance."

Lana is a little surprised as she lifts her head from her bed. "You are?"

"Affirmative. As a matter of fact, I'm putting you in charge of a very important job."

Lana was still surprised, but she wasn't ready to forgive her sister yet. "Well…. I guess if you really need my help…..okay. What do I have to do?"

* * *

The Louds open the basement door and Lana is seen standing in front of the doorway (with a flashlight tied to her cap) looking downstairs, feeling quite nervous. "You want me to go down _there_?"

"The underground vault is the only place that has what we need," Lisa confirms. "So we need _you_ to retrieve it."

"You know what? I don't mind standing out of the way. I'm sure you guys can do okay without me."

"Wow," Lynn taunted. "I never knew Lana Loud was such a big chicken."

"Knock it off, Lynn," Lana shouted. "I'm _not_ a chicken. I just don't want to go down there because it's scary."

"Bawk! Buk buk buk ba-gawk!"

"Lynn, that's not very compassionate," Lincoln intervened. "You're gonna hurt Lana's feelings."

"It's called tough love, bro." Lynn then continued taunting Lana, making her more and more annoyed. "Ba-gawk! Buk buk buk buk buk ba-gawk! Bawk! Bawk!"

"Lynn, stop it! Knock it off!" Lana tried covering her ears but she can still hear those chicken sounds. "You know what? Fine! I'll prove I'm not a chicken! I'm gonna march right down there, and you'll see." Lana started marching towards the basement stairs, but as soon as she's in the dark, she immediately got scared. "I changed my mind! Let me back in!" Lana tried going back to the kitchen, but the door shuts behind her. She gets more and more scared and starts banging repeatedly. "Let me out! Let me out!"

"Now Lana!" Lincoln called. "Calm down! Calm down! You're being a big help by doing this!"

Lana stopped banging. "I…...I am?"

"Of course. We couldn't do this task without you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You're our sister so technically you're just as important as any of us. Now hurry up and bring back the ingredient."

"You got it!" Lana started heading down the stairs. "Alright Lana, you can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can do….." Lana then spotted a skeleton that looked just like her (including her hat and overalls). "I can't do this!" Lana makes a dash for the stairs, but then stopped in front of the door. "Wait! What am I doing? What am I, a girl or a chicken? Those guys are counting on me. I can't let them down. I gotta get what they need!"

Lana then took a deep breath and then headed back down the stairs. "Okay Lana. Get a hold of yourself. There's nothing to be scared of. It's just the basement. That's all." She then pointed her flashlight towards a nearby wall and sees a giant metal door. "Huh, so that's the vault Lisa was talking about."

Lana opened the vault and went inside. "Hello? Special ingredient? Where are you?" She then spotted a shelf with a ton of bottles to the left of her. "Wonder if it's in here?" Lana takes one of the bottles and opens it. Out comes a loud siren sound. Lana's ears start ringing as she covers them. "Ow! Now I know how Lincoln felt when Luna crashed her cymbals." She then looks at the label on the shelf. " _Anonymous sound effects_? Who keeps sounds in a bottle?"

She puts the bottle back where she found it, but then she spotted something glowing in a distance. "Hey, what's that?" Lana then approached the object in question, and finds that its another bottle with a weird green substance in it. As she started shaking it around, she then hears a strange voice.

"Stop! Stop that! Stop already!" The young tomboy wondered where the voice was coming from. "In the bottle, nitwit! What are you trying to do? Torment me?"

"No. Why? Do you _want_ me to?"

"What I _want_ is to be out of this stupid bottle!"

"Sorry mister…..Whatever-your-name-is, but I'm on an important mission and I'm not supposed to touch anything."

"Kid, you've touched _everything_ ," he said pointing to a mess in the vault.

"Oh. Hey, maybe you can help me find that special ingredient I'm looking for!"

"Special ingredient? What do you need any of that trash for? Listen kid, just take me with you. I'm all you need."

"You are?"

"Oh sure. In fact, I'm better than anything you've ever seen before. A super ingredient if you will. Just add a little bit of me to something, and ZING! I make it delectable."

"You make everything delectable? Oh boy! When I show you to Lisa and the others, they'll see how big of help I am!"

"Ah, ah, no! No! No Lisa! No Lisa! You gotta keep me a secret."

"I do? Why?"

"Uh…...um…..because…..it's a surprise! And everyone loves a surprise."

"Are you sure? Because my sisters Lisa and Lucy are pretty hard to excite and my dad said his heart can't take in any more surprises."

"Oh trust me. They're gonna love this one." He laughed sinisterly.

 _"Lana?"_ Lisa called from the kitchen. " _Are you still alive?"_

"So what's it gonna be?"

Lana gives it a little thought.

* * *

Meanwhile, the rest of her siblings still waiting by the door. "Well, it looks as though we're gonna have to start looking for a new handyman."

Just as Lisa said that, Lana came dashing out of the basement and passed her siblings. "Wait! What about the…...special ingredient? Ugh! Why must I do everything myself?" Lisa groaned as she headed down the stairs.

Meanwhile, Lana makes it all the way back to her room and shuts the door. She then took the bottle out from underneath her cap. "Phew, that was a close call."

"Too close if you ask me."

"You sure you can help me?"

"Trust me kid. When we're done, the others are going to be sorry they never asked you for help."

* * *

That night, while everyone is asleep, Lana snuck downstairs into the dining room and took the bottle out from under her hat. She then took the cork out of the bottle and the creature is free.

"Ah….finally! I'm free! Freedom! Oh how I've missed it!"

"Okay, you're out of the bottle," the young girl said. "Now what do we do?"

"Alright give me your hand." Lana held out her hand and the creature then spits onto it.

"What the heck is this?"

"Never mind what it is! Just rub your hands together." Lana did as she was told. "Yeah. Uh huh. Okay now let me see." Lana opened up her hands to show that they are completely covered. "Oh yeah!"

"Okay, now what?"

"Come here." Lana makes her way towards the dinner table where the dish is. "Now touch this." Lana placed her hand on the dish and the food gets completely covered in the substance. "Congratulations kid! You've just made it a million times better!"

"A _million_ times?"

"You wanna go for a _billion_?"

"Yeah!"

* * *

Many hours passed as night became day. The rest of the Loud siblings woke up but found what was in the dining room was a shocking surprise. The dish they had prepared last night was completely covered in mold. The kids were left shocked with their mouths hung open. They then saw something else in front of them, which turned out to be Lana with moldy patches all over her.

"Surprise!" She said. But the others didn't say anything. "Surprise!" Still no response. The kids just made their way to the table to have a better look at the food. Just then, the little creature appeared right next to Lana. "I think their surprised," she whispered.

"Surprised? They're practically speechless."

"How….?" Lisa said feeling quite stunned. "How could this have happened?"

"I did it," Lana answered.

" _You_ did it?"

"Yeah. No need to thank me. I was just glad to help. Aren't you happy?"

"Happy? No. We're not happy. We're not happy not at all."

"I don't think they're happy," Lana whispered back.

"Of course they're not happy," the small creature reassured her. "They're elated! Just look at those faces. They're probably figuring out a way to thank you."

Clearly they weren't. The Louds were absolutely devastated by what had happened, that most of the just hung their heads on the table and sulked.

"Now, do you want to make them really happy?"

"Yeah."

"Really, really happy?"

"Yeah!"

"Wet their pants happy?"

"Oh that's disgusting but yeah!"

"Then you gotta think big!" Lana just stood in her place with her eyes closed and her fists clenched. "What are you doing?"

"Thinking!"

"It looks like you're trying to lay an egg. Ugh! For the love of….Do I have to do everything myself?" The creature jumps into the front pocket of Lana's overalls and the young girl gets completely covered in mold and grows into a giant.

"Wow! I'm a giant full of zing!"

The creatures face appears right next to hers. "Yeah! Now you can make everything a little better!"

"Everything!"

"All that hard work for nothing? I am ever so miffed!" Lola said stomping her foot to the floor.

"Okay everyone. Calm down," Lincoln assured. "I'm sure we can fix this. Maybe Dad won't even notice the mold."

Just then, they all heard a Loud rumble coming from the living room. They all turned around and see their sister Lana as a giant mold-covered monster. "Hey guys! I'm gonna make you wet your pants!" She said as she broke right through the wall where the front door is supposed to be.

The rest of the kids saw her go into town. "Lana?"

"Okay," Lynn intervened. "Can somebody tell me what in the world is going on here?"

"Yeah," Lincoln agrees. "And why is Lana all covered in mold?"

"I suppose that's partially my fault," Lisa confessed.

"What did you do Lis?"

"Intentionally, I was trying to create a formula that would keep food from rotting, but I accidentally created a creature that covers everything it touches in mold."

"Lisa we really need—."

"If you're gonna say we need to have a discussion about my experiments, I'm well aware of that."

"I'm serious. These things are getting really out of hand."

"Well it wouldn't have backfired if our resident goth didn't let her rituals get in the way!"

"Keep me out of this!" Lucy argues.

"Guys!" Lynn interrupted. "In case you haven't noticed, we kinda got a bigger problem at the moment! There's a giant monster, with our sister attacking Royal Woods!"

"Lynn's right!" Lincoln agrees. "We've gotta do something!"

"In that case," Lisa explains. "I have just the solution. Siblings! Follow me!"

The Louds follow Lisa, except for Leni, who just stands there looking confused. "Wait a minute. What did Lana mean when she said…..?"

"Don't ask. Just come on!" Lisa then pulls Leni by the arm.

* * *

The kids are in the backyard and Lisa pressed a button on a remote, and out from under the ground rises a giant robot. The rest of the kids are left stunned and amazed.

"Oh my G!" Lynn said.

"Lisa…." Lincoln said before getting cut off.

"Don't even bother saying it Lincoln."

"I was just gonna say I can't believe you kept this a secret from us. It's amazing!"

"There'll be plenty of time for astonishment but now is not the time. Let's just suit up."

* * *

Meanwhile, Lana and the creature are passing through Royal Woods. "What should I zing up first?" She asked.

"Whatever you want kid. The world is your canvas."

Lana then touched a nearby building, which in turn covered the whole thing in mold. "I added some zing to it!"

All over town, Lana went around covering things in mold until…"STOP!" She turned around to see a giant fighting robot controlled by Lisa and the rest of her siblings (which consisted of Luan and Lucy being in the left arm, Lola and Lori in the left leg, Leni and Luna in the right leg, and Lynn and Lincoln in the right arm, with the exception of Lily given that she was with Rita). "That's far enough sister!"

"Wow! Lisa? Cool robot you got there!"

"I appreciate the appreciation from you, but I suggest you don't listen to that charlatan! He's no more a zing than I am a mongoose!"

Just then the robot gets hit in the face with a lamppost. "Guys! What did you do to my family?" She asked the creature.

"I just added some zing to it," he laughed wickedly.

"Hold on guys! I'm coming!" Lana tried to head over to see if her siblings are okay, but soon found herself unable to do so. "I can't move! Why can't I move?"

"Because you're under my control now kid! And together, we'll cover this stinking town in mold!"

"Mold? You told me you were a zing!"

"That was a lie! It's a bad habit."

Soon enough, the robot pounced on them and crashed into a nearby building. "Now let this be a lesson to you," Lisa announces "if you don't let our sister go, we'll show you what happens when you mess with the Louds!"

"You're the one to talk, Lisa! You never had the guts to fight anyone!"

"We shall soon find out! Lynn, Lincoln, grab that bus!"

"You got it Lisa!" Lincoln and Lynn grabbed a nearby empty bus.

"Hey, I hate to _bus_ your bubble, but your _ride_ is here!" Luan jokes. "Get it? How's that for a zing?" The robot bashed the bus into the creature's face, but the monster grabbed the robot by the arms and started spinning it around until finally letting it go and letting it crash into a nearby building.

* * *

While all this is happening, Lynn Sr. Is seen in the park playing chess with their neighbor Mr. Grouse. "You could move the….."

"No Loud! Don't tell me what to do!" Their neighbor demanded. "I don't like it when you tell me what to do!"

"You want a hint?"

"No! No hints! You and your confound hints! I've been playing this stupid game for 75 minutes! I think I can win one match without a hint!"

"Move your queen there."

"Did I not just say I didn't want any hints? Didn't I? Ugh! Fine, I'll move my queen. Are you happy now?"

"Check mate. I win!"

"Oh why do I even bother?"

* * *

Back to the city, the robot is broken and all the kids are sore from all the fighting. Lana then feels guilty about what she did. "Lisa? Lincoln? Guys?"

Her siblings are struggling to get up through the rubble. "Lana," Lisa says weekly. "Lana it's okay."

"Guys?"

"There's something I have to confess. Something I'm not proud of. You see….." Lisa pulled Lucy in close. "We created that creature."

"You what?!"

"Not too long ago, I was conducting an experiment that was meant to make fresh food last forever without rotting. Lucy was the only one who agreed to supervise. But she was practicing her seance at the same time. Unfortunately, the dark magic from her spell book got in the way and it resulted in creating a creature that corrupted everything it touched. He wanted nothing more than to cover the entire world in mold. But we refused to let that happen."

"So all this time, you guys created him?"

"We thought it would be safer if no one knew," Lucy confirmed. "So we placed him in a bottle, hid it in the vault and we both agreed we would never speak of it again."

"Oh man, I'm really sorry guys. I just wanted to help."

"Lana, you're already helpful," Lincoln says. "I know you wanted to impress us, but you didn't have to do this. A good helper doesn't need magic ingredients, a great helper just needs to do things from the heart. You're special just the way you are, and what you are is our sister."

Those words made Lana tear up, but the creature however was not amused. "Are we done with the touchy-feely love fest? I've got a job to finish! Come on kid!"

"No!" Lana refused as she then took control.

"No? What do you mean no?"

"I'm not helping you anymore! After seeing what you did, and how you used me, I could never forgive myself! I trusted you and you lied to me!"

"Well then maybe you shouldn't trust a magic creature you don't know!"

Lana gets infuriated and started punching him in the face. "You tricked me! You lied to me! You're mean, obnoxious! You used me to hurt my sisters and brother! You stink like eggs and you talk like trash! Let go of me! Let go of me!" As Lana kept beating the creature to a pulp, she begins shrinking until she's back to her old self again (without even realizing it).

Lisa then puts the creature back in the bottle and Lana starts shaking it around repeatedly saying "let go of me!"

"Lana! Stop! He's off you! He's off you!"

"He is?" Lana stopped shaking the bottle and realized the her siblings were right.

"I don't feel so hot." The creature says as he threw up inside the bottle, disgusting the Louds (including Lana).

"Okay, that's gross even for me."

The Louds then look at all the damage that has been done to Royal Woods.

"You think any of us will get sued for this?" Lincoln wonders.

"Nah," Lola reassured. "I'm sure everyone will be fine."

"I hope so."

"So Lana, you wanna help us out with the recipe?" Lori asked as they all headed home.

"Really?" Lana asked excitedly.

"Yeah. You can be in charge of being grounded in your room."

"Dang it."


	32. Short 10: Perfect Plan

**Based on a _Simpsons_ short**

* * *

In the dining room, Rita took out a tray of chocolate chip cookies and set them on the table where Lola and Lily were sitting.

"Mmmm….fresh baked chocolate chip cookies."

Lola tries to reach for one.

"Don't touch those yet. They're very very hot."

As Rita left, Lola smiles ever so slyly. "Ha ha! No one's around! The perfect opportunity!"

Lola reaches for a cookie, but ends up burning her hand on the tray.

* * *

"I hope I could trust you two not to eat those yummy chocolate chip cookies," Rita said as she left.

Lola has another idea. "Go ahead Lily. Take a cookie."

Lily shook her head.

"Aw come on sis. Don't be a chicken."

Lily shook her head again.

"Well if you won't do it, I will."

Lola took a cookie when Rita suddenly came into the room surprising her, making her throw the cookie into the air landing right into Lily's mouth.

"Good work Lily. You prevented Lola from making a mess."

* * *

"I mean it," Rita said sternly. "Don't even think about touching those scrumptious cookies."

Their mother left again, and Lola had another trick up her sleeve.

"Who is she gonna believe? You or me?"

Lola took a bunch of cookies and stuffed them into her mouth.

"You can't defend yourself. You can barely even talk. I'll blame it all on you."

Then Rita came in once again. "Lola!"

"It was her, mom! I swear it!"

But Rita noticed the crumbs on her chin and her cheeks stuffed with cookies. "Oh Lola."

"Dang it." Lola realized that her trick didn't work.

* * *

Later, Lynn Sr. Had his eyes covered by his wife's hands and the rest of the kids are in the dining room as well.

"Do I smell cookies?" The father asked.

Rita uncovers his eyes, and to their surprise…..

"Where's the cookies?"

"They're all gone!" Rita replies. "The whole batch!"

"Somebody ate all the cookies," Lana said.

"Did you eat the cookies Lily?" Lincoln asked.

Lily shook her head and pointed.

"I think she's trying to tell us something," Leni exclaims.

Lily got out of her chair.

"Go on Lily," everybody encouraged. "Go! Go!"

Lily lead everyone upstairs into the twins room where Lola was lying on the floor completely stuffed….and nauseous (from eating too much cookies).

"There's no perfect plan."

Lily shook her head slowly before taking a cookie for herself.


	33. Thanks For Pranks

**And now here's another story. Now before we start this, I realized that I haven't exactly given Luan a chance to have a story of her own. But then I saw a _Lilo and Stitch_ episode with experiment 133 (PJ) and I thought that would make a perfect plot line for this story. That and ever since the episode _Funny Business_ , I decided it might be fun to have another Lincoln and Luan bonding moment. So without further ado, here's the story.**

* * *

It started out as a normal day of gym class. Everything started going well, until Chandler and his gang decided to play a trick. Chandler pulled out a bugle and made a really loud sound with it. Before everybody turned to see where the noise came from, Chandler placed the bugle in the hands of a certain white haired boy. Once everybody turned their heads, Chandler and his gang pointed at him directly.

"Oh, again Loud?" Coach Pacowski said exasperated.

"Way to go Larry," Chandler accused.

"What? I didn't do it! Why would I?" Lincoln stammered.

"Sorry Coach," Clyde stepped in. "Lincoln's a bit of a free spirit."

"Clyde!" Lincoln whispered. "Who's side are you on?"

"Just trying to help, buddy."

"You're lucky I'm in a good mood today, Loud," Coach announces. "As you might not be aware, I have to go to a gym coach convention in Lansing. Which means that I'm gonna be away for a week. So my friend Mr. Markowski is going to be coaching until I get back. And I expect all of you to behave." He then pointed to Lincoln in a threatening manner. "Especially _you_ , Loud."

Lincoln gulped.

* * *

The next day of gym class, all the students arrive to meet their substitute teacher. "Huddle up! As you may know, everyone has their own way of teaching. Well I can assure you that my way is a fun way. I am Coach Markowski. But you can call me Mr. Markowski."

As he tried to write his name on the portable chalkboard, he kept getting hit in the back with paper airplanes, much to his irritation. The ones throwing the airplanes are none other than Chandler and the rest of the students (except for Lincoln and Clyde).

"Come on guys!" Lincoln whispered. "Give him a chance! I promised that we'd all behave."

"Well Loud," Chandler says sounding innocent. "Since you did promise, perhaps we _should_ give him a chance."

Chandler then handed Lincoln the paper airplane before throwing another one at the substitute, which made him turn around angrily. All the kids then pointed at Lincoln with a paper airplane in his hands.

"Oh sorry," he said. "You're new here so you should probably know that this happens a lot. Yesterday it was a bugle."

The substitute opened up the paper airplane, only to find a crude drawing of their substitute teacher as a cow. "'Mr. Mar-COW-ski?!' As if I really look like this!"

"I was afraid of that," Lincoln muttered.

"What's your name?"

"I'm Lincoln. Lincoln Loud."

"Were _you_ the one who threw a paper airplane?"

"Honestly sir, I was the only one who _didn't_."

"Well I didn't do it until _he_ started to," Chandler pointed.

"I didn't do anything wrong!" Lincoln argued.

"You are such a liar!"

"I AM NOT!" Lincoln shouted at the top of his lungs. But then he realized that everyone was staring at him due to his outburst. "Is it too late to ask for a hall pass?"

* * *

Outside the gym, Mr Markowski is making Lincoln do a hundred squats, much to his annoyance.

"...and squat down 2, 3, 4, squat down 2, 3, 4…." The coach was counting.

"My legs are getting tired….2, 3, 4….." Lincoln complains.

"Professional gym class requires mental toughness and physical endurance! There's no time for being tired."

"I think I like _traditional_ gym class better."

"There are no paper airplanes in traditional gym class."

"But I didn't do it!"

"Quiet! Keep going!"

"I'm going, im going, im going, im going…."

* * *

Later, Lincoln is walking with Clyde after his punishment was over.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the teachers pet." Lincoln sees Chandler and his posse taunting, which starts to annoy him.

"I'm not a teachers pet! I'm just trying to be nice! He's just visiting."

"Well in case you haven't noticed, he's also a big jerk."

"You're the one who's a jerk! You keep blaming me for things!"

"That's only because _you_ won't help!"

"Why _should_ I?"

"Just admit it. You _want_ to get back at him. If anyone made me do a hundred squats as punishment, you can bet I'd get revenge. Don't you want some sweet payback?"

"Well…."

"I knew it. You're just a wimp. If all you're gonna do is behave, have fun doing squats," Chandler laughed.

* * *

Lincoln and Clyde are now walking home from school. "I don't know Clyde. What if Chandler's right? Mr. Markowski is kinda strict."

"Lincoln, he's a teacher. It's not exactly their job to make our lives easier."

"I know, but he always blamed me for all those jokes. Do you know how many squats he made me do as punishment?!"

"Yeah but—."

"I guess he just doesn't care whether I'm behaving or not!"

"Lincoln! Calm down! You're getting worked up over nothing! You need to let go of your anger."

"But...but….you're right Clyde. I'll go calm down at home."

"You do that. I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you Clyde."

Lincoln made it back home and went upstairs. But he was still pretty upset about what happened at school. "Why do I always have to be blamed for everything? It's so frustrating! How am I supposed to be on my best behavior if I keep getting punished for things I didn't do? I just wish I could get back at him." He grumbled as he headed to the bathroom. "Oh, who am I kidding? I don't know anything about payback."

Lincoln exited the bathroom, passing by Luna and Luan's room, when he hears the sound of a certain resident comedian.

"But I might know someone who can help," he said mischievously.

* * *

"Hey Luan." Lincoln entered the young comedian's room.

"Hey Lincoln. I'm busy trying out new jokes. What do you think of this one? Why is there always a chair in a psychiatrist office? Because they have _sit_ uations! Get it?" Luan laughed. "Or what about this one? Why are doctors always so calm all the time? Because they have a lot of _patients_!"

"Okay, I gotta admit. That was pretty good. But I was wondering if I could ask you a favor."

"Sure, what is it?"

"Well, I was thinking, since I'm your assistant and all, I was hoping you could teach me how to pull off jokes and pranks?"

Luan looks surprised at that request. "Come again?"

"Can you teach me how to prank someone?"

"I don't know, Lincoln," Luan said skeptically. "What's the catch?"

"Catch? What catch? I was just hoping you could teach me."

"Lincoln…" she said with suspicion.

"Okay, you caught me. You see, there's this bully at school that keeps picking on me and I wanna try to get back at him."

"Lincoln, you know I like the idea of you fighting your own battles, but pranks are not to be used for revenge."

"Come on Luan! Please? It will just be a few harmless pranks. No one will know. Besides, everyone knows pranks are what you do best."

"Well, no argument there."

"Plus, think about it. If you teach me, you'd be passing on your talent to someone else."

"I guess if you put it that way, okay. After all, how could I pass up an opportunity? But just as long as nobody gets hurt."

"Don't worry. No one will get hurt."

"Alright then. Starting now, I'm giving you Luan Loud's Tips for tricks."

* * *

"Listen Lincoln, the key to pulling off a great joke is finding something that people like least of all. Just find something that annoys them and use that as the idea."

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe it'll be better if I just show you."

Luan and Lincoln made their way into the twins' bedroom and over to Lana's side. They both found Lana's sneakers right next to her bed, and as they crouched down, a horrible smell comes out of them and makes Lincoln gag. "Sheesh! Doesn't Lana ever wash her feet?"

"Considering what she does everyday," Luan says, "do you even have to ask?" She then took out a can of baked beans and poured it into each of the shoes. Afterwards they both ran out and hid.

"I kinda misunderstood the whole point of this," Lincoln said.

"Just wait for it little bro."

After a few seconds, they heard a squishy sound followed by a frustrated groan of a certain handyman.

"LUAN!" Lana marches right over to Luan with baked beans in her shoes. "Did you put baked beans in my sneakers again! You know I hate that!"

"Come on sis. I thought you _liked_ getting messy."

"Not when it involves canned food that's been sitting in the back of the refrigerator for weeks and someone decides to put it in my shoes when I'm not looking!"

"Well there's no need to get cold feet. Besides, you should be happy you didn't find out I put super glue in your hat."

"Wait what!?"

"Oh, did I say that out loud?"

Lana tried desperately to pull her hat off, but it's super glued to her head. "Dang it! It won't come off! Now Mom's gonna have to cut my hair out!"

"Well you should be happy. You and that hat always seem to _stick_ together," she laughed.

However, Lana did not look amused as she marched grumpily back to her room and shut the door.

Lincoln started to giggle a little bit himself. "I gotta hand it to you, Luan. That _was_ pretty funny."

"I know right?" She responded. "Almost as funny as when I hid pudding in Luna's boots. It took her weeks to get that chocolate stain out."

"Well, that certainly was one of your greatest pranks of all time."

"Oh trust me Lincoln. I'm just getting started."

* * *

Then Luan got a box of instant gelatin mix and poured it into Lola's teacup. As Lola went in her room as her two siblings left and walked over to her tea party table. She tried taking a drink out of her teacup, but finds it unable to do so. So she takes a straw and starts slurping it, until finally, the tea comes out in the form of gelatin. "For a tea party, you sure are getting _jiggly_ with it," Luan laughed.

The two proceeded to pull pranks on the rest of the girls, which included switching the labels on Lisa's chemicals, putting glue on the back of Lori's phone so it would stick to her hand, trading out Lucy's pen for one with invisible ink, taking the needles out of the dress that Leni was making, and tying one of Lynn's footballs to a string to lure her into the back of the van and trap her inside. But that would be nothing compared to what they would do to Luna.

Luan brought Lincoln to her room and showed him a mysterious gadget. "What is that?"

"This my brother," Luan explains. "Is that grandmother of all pranks. The Sound Scrambler. I bought it at the party store last week. Can you believe they only had a few in stock?"

"Well what does it do exactly?"

"It messes with sounds. For instance, it can remove sounds from objects, it can change the volume of sounds, but there's one other thing it can do."

"What's that?"

Just then, they heard someone coming. "Better yet, watch."

Lincoln and Luan then hid in the closet with the machine and saw Luna coming in. Luna got on top of her bunk bed and started strumming her guitar and singing. While she was playing, Luan hooks the gadget up to the air duct that lead to the ceiling. While Luna was still singing, a mysterious sound wave comes out of the air vent and makes her voice sound all scrambled, like a video tape rewinding. It stopped for a second. Luna thought it was nothing and went back to her singing. But then the sound wave appears again and Luna thinks that something is wrong with her voice. She goes back to singing once again, but the same thing happened one more time with caused Luna to fall off her bed and onto the floor. She then hears a familiar voice coming from the closet.

"Having a little trouble there, Luna?"

Luna nods.

"I see. Make yourself comfortable. I have something to show you."

Luna takes a seat in her bean bag chair, and Luan comes out of her closet with Lincoln and her contraption.

"This little marvel is my acoustical anti-audio alternator. Otherwise known as the sound scrambler."

"That?!" Luna observed. "That's the darn thing that makes the sound sound stupid?"

"This thing takes the sound out of anything, anything that makes noise, and scrambles it up. Only for a low price of $29.99. Pretty neat, don't you think?"

"No offense sis, but it looks more like a piece of junk if you ask me. The day I would see that happen will be the day musicians play rock and roll on the moon. And just because you got a good deal on it, doesn't mean it'll actually work…."

Luna is cut off as soon as Luan activates the machine and scrambled Luna's voice. Both Luan and Lincoln started to laugh at this.

"That'll do it alright," Lincoln said.

"How's that for a piece of junk?" Luan taunted.

"Aha! I should've suspected it was you!" Lisa and the rest of the sisters entered the room.

"See? I told you!" Lana came in, but her cap was off and her hair was all ruffled and had patches cut off (from trying to get her hat unstuck from her head). "They've been playing tricks on us all day!"

"Lana?" Lola questions. "What the heck happened to your hair?"

"Don't ask!"

"Come on guys," Luan said, "have a laugh once in a while."

"Yeah," Lincoln agrees. "Luan was just giving me some pointers."

"Pointers for what?" Lori asked. "Don't tell me you were helping Luan play pranks."

"So what if I am?"

"Look Lincoln," Lola answered. "One crazy prankster in the family is bad enough. We don't need another one."

"Come on guys. They were just some harmless jokes. Besides, they're for someone bullying me at school."

"Then why don't you just go to the principal?" Lynn questions.

"Because this will give him the payback he deserves."

"Lincoln, I really think you should rethink this," Luna said.

"Relax. It's not like Luan's tricks are gonna hurt anyone."

"You don't understand!" Lana shouts. "It's not Luan's pranks we're worried about! It's you!"

"What? Why? I thought you guys were all about getting even."

"Not when it's you," Lynn clarified. "You're better than this."

"What starts out as a small joke can quickly become a big epidemic," Lucy said.

"I'm afraid I have to concur," Lisa agrees. "It all starts out small and harmless, but then it quickly escalates and gets more tremendous. You start coming up with bigger pranks and bigger tricks, until finally it becomes so colossal, it'll in turn destroy the world, and quite possibly the entire universe!"

The others look quite shocked at what she just said.

"Wow!" Lucy said quite astonished. "That was more intense than anything I could imagine."

"Relax Lisa," Lincoln said. "I'm not planning on destroying the world. It's just gonna be a few little jokes and that's it. Nothing to worry about." With that, Lincoln and Luan leave, but the rest of the girls are looking worried.

"Why do I have a hard time believing him when he says not to worry?" Lucy asked herself.

* * *

The next day at the Royal Woods Elementary school, Lincoln started playing a few pranks on the substitute gym teacher (with a little help from Luan), which included placing a bucket of water on top of the door, putting super glue on the seat of his chair, putting butter all over the gym floor and stuffing his pockets with dog biscuits that started attracting a bunch of dogs.

"Whoa!" Chandler said sounding impressed. "Did you actually set that all up yourself?"

"Who else could it have been?" Lincoln asked innocently.

"Oh really?" Mr Markowski is standing right in front of them not looking happy.

Back outside, Lincoln is stuck doing 100 more squats.

"...65, 66, 67….." The substitute counted. "33 more!"

"Still think we should give him a chance?" Chandler whispered in his ear.

"Definitely not," Lincoln replies.

"That's my boy."

The coach came back, but found that bubble gum started coming out of his whistle once he started blowing into it. The bubble then pops getting gum stuck to his face. The two young boys then started laughing and Luan saw the whole thing from a nearby bush, feeling quite disgusted and betrayed.

* * *

Once the two Loud siblings headed back home and Luan gave her brother an immediate talking to. "Lincoln! How could you!?" She scolded.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Why didn't you tell me that the person you wanted to prank was your substitute gym teacher?"

"Because I didn't think you would help me if I did!"

"I wouldn't have!"

"Exactly my point!"

"You lied to me! I told you not to use pranks to hurt people!"

"What do you mean? You do it every April fools day!"

"That's different! I don't _intend_ to hurt anyone!"

"Well it still happens anyway!"

"Pulling pranks on family and friends is one thing, but pranking an instructor at your school just because they're giving you a hard time is just going way too far! What kind of person do you think that makes you?"

"A really clever one?"

"That's it! I'm done!"

"What?! What do you mean?!"

"I mean I'm not helping you with your pranks anymore! You have crossed the line Lincoln and I'm staying on my end!"

"Come on Luan! You have to help! It's just one more!"

"I said no! And that's final!" Luan stomped back up the stairs and into her room. Lincoln went upstairs to follow, only to be stopped by Lola and Lana.

"Halt! You shall not pass!" The latter said. "Hehe. I've always wanted to say that," she giggled to herself.

"What's the meaning of this?"

"Lana? Is this man giving you lip?" Lola said.

"We've been given direct orders to keep you out of here!" She told her brother.

"Come on guys! It's just one more! That's it! Just one little joke!"

"No! Now get!" Lola then slapped Lincoln on the side of the face with one of his sneakers.

"Ow! Where'd you get that?"

"We take extreme measures to protect what we guard!" Lola said.

"Also, you tend to leave your stuff lying around," Lana clarified.

"Now you've got exactly five seconds to leave before we drag you back to your room ourselves!" Lola threatened.

"But-."

"Don't try to fight it Lincoln," Lana insisted. "In this house, you're always outnumbered."

Lincoln was not happy about this and started to walk away in defeat, but not before stopping for a few seconds. "Can I at least have my shoe back?"

"Hmmmmm….later."

"Fine." Lincoln then headed all the way back to his room looking pretty grumpy.

Back in his room, he started pacing back and forth trying to think of a plan. "Augh! Outnumbered by my own sisters! Why is that not surprising to me?" He then took a seat on the bed. "Now what am I gonna do? The only way that I could get Luan to help is if the rest of my sisters happened to be asleep." After saying that, Lincoln then got an idea. "Hmm….maybe they could use a little nap."

* * *

Moments later, the girls were still in Luan's room guarding, when they heard a knock at the door. They opened it and saw Lincoln standing in the doorway with a plate of different color drinking mugs. "Hey guys."

"Give it up, Lincoln," Lynn warned. "Whatever you're planning, it's not gonna work."

"Yeah!" Lana agrees. "And don't think we don't know all your tricks! Cuz we do!"

"So you can just forget about dragging Luan into your scheme!" Lola shouts.

"It's okay guys. I know you're doing it for my own good. And to prove to you that I'm mature enough, I wanna treat you guys to a toast." Lincoln holds the plate out and the girls grab a mug with their respective colors, but they were still pretty suspicious.

"Alright twerp," Lori said. "What are you trying to pull?"

"Relax guys. It's just plain old milk. And I'm not trying to pull anything. I'm just treating you to a toast."

The girls are still a little skeptical at first, but they decided to go along with it anyway.

"A toast to being a family. As we would move heaven and earth for each other. Cheers!"

The kids all clinked their cups together, and all (sans Lincoln and Luan) drink up. But as soon as they do, they started feeling a little drowsy.

"Dudes," Luna says feeling rather tired. "I don't know about you, but I sure could go for a nice nap…" with that, Luna dozed off on the bed.

"Huh," Lana shrugged. "Guess Luna didn't get enough sleep. It's a good thing the rest of us have so much energy. Right Lola?" No response. "Lola?" Lana looked over to her sister and saw that her twin was asleep on the floor. "Lola? Lola! Wake up!" She tried shaking her awake, but it doesn't work. Lana then spotted Lincoln having a mischievous smile on his face. "Lincoln! What did you do to the drink!?"

"Me? I didn't do anything," he lied.

"You better start explaining before I…." Lana held up her fist in a threatening manner, but then she felt her eyelids getting heavy. "What's happening? And…..*yawn*...why do I feel so sleepy?"

"It's okay Lana," Lincoln said in a soothing tone. "You don't have to worry about anything. Just relax, close your eyes and sleep."

"Yeah….sleep…" Lana feels herself getting sleepier and sleepier, but she tries hard to resist. "No! Wait! Must…...not….sleep! Must…..stay awake!" But no matter how hard she tries to fight it, her eyes kept on closing. "Aw crud." Lana then collapsed on the floor completely asleep. Soon the rest of the girls began to follow (except Luan).

"There. That should keep them out of the picture for a while."

"Lincoln!" Luan shouted. "What did you put in that drink!"

"Oh nothing really. It's just warm milk with a dash of camomile, and a bit of Lisa's sleep inducer."

"Why you….."

"Ah! Don't say another word. I've got one last thing for you to do for me."

"And what happens to me if I say no?"

"Then I'll tell Dad who ruined his favorite sweater by putting in that dark space in the basement where the moths are."

She gasped. "You wouldn't dare!"

"Wanna bet?"

"Oh, alright Lincoln. I'll help you. But this is absolutely the last time!"

* * *

The two kids are in the dining room and Lincoln comes in with a blueprint. "So what's your plan?"

"Glad you asked," Lincoln said as he showed Luan the blueprint. "Here is the school gym. When Mr. Markowski opens the door, he'll trip on the wire which will cause a bucket of confetti to fall on him and making him stumble onto a bar of soap into a bunch of pies and onto a loose floorboard held up by a spring, which will send him flying into the air into a bag of flour and then into a barrel of syrup then into a bag of feathers, and that sets off a chain reaction which in the end will cover him in a pile of trash! Revenge will be mine and it's all thanks to this!"

"Uh…..Lincoln? Won't that hurt? And don't you think you might have gone insane?"

"Insane? Insane?! You don't know what it's like to be me! I have to take a lot of punishments, deal with bullies, and listen to people make fun of me and do absolutely nothing about it! Well not anymore!"

"Okay bro. You're starting to scare me."

"Oh pish posh. It doesn't matter anyway. That substitute is gonna be sorry he punished me. Now go gather your materials and meet me at the elementary school gymnasium! That teacher is gonna get pranked like never before!" Lincoln then let out an evil laugh of his own.

Luan however looked quite shocked, as this was a side of Lincoln she had never seen before. "It's official, he's gone insane." She said to the audience.

* * *

After a while, back in Luan's room, the rest of the girls awake.

"Ah. That was the best night sleep I've ever had." Leni looked out the window to see the sun was still out. "Huh. Nighttime lasted shorter than usual."

"It's literally the afternoon Leni," Lori corrected.

"Oh. Guess it was a pretty long nap."

Everyone facepalmed, but then realized something wrong.

"Wait!" Lucy panicked. "Something's wrong! Where's Luan?"

All the girls gasped in shock to see that Luan was not there.

"Dudes?" Luna asked. "How long were we out for?"

"Judging by the direction of the sun between the times before and after we dozed off, I would estimate at least an hour and a half," Lisa hypothesized.

"Man," Lynn wondered. "What did Lincoln put in that drink?"

"I deduce that it was slightly heated lactose colostrum, street name: warm milk, with a hint of camomile and an extra addition of my enhanced sleep inducer."

"I thought that milk tasted familiar," Lana replied.

"Why that little fibber!" Lori grumbled.

"Well I gotta say," Lola admitted. "Using Lisa's elixir to put us to sleep, that was pretty clever."

"I'll say," Lynn admired. "I guess Lincoln learned more tricks from us than we realized."

"Yeah," Lana agrees.

"Wait a minute," Luna realized. "Where's Lilster?"

The girls then saw that Lily was put in a glass cage with a vault door on the top (and air holes in it so she can breathe). The girls are surprised at this as Lola repeatedly bangs on the cage to try to open it.

"Lincoln did this!" Lisa realized.

"We know," Lola replies as she continued banging.

"That means he must have gotten Luan to play along with his scheme!"

"We know," Lana replies.

"And he duped us just so he could get her on board!"

"We know," Luna said feeling annoyed.

"But this could mean destruction of the entire world and quite possibly the universe!"

"We know!" Lori shouts.

"And it's all gonna be for nothing just to impress a jerk to him at school!"

"WE KNOW!" Lola shrieked at the top of her lungs.

"To open that container, just press down on the lid then turn left."

Lola stopped banging. "Oh. That I didn't know." Lola then unscrewed the lid and opened the container. Lori then took Lily out of the box and comforted her.

"Yeesh!" Lynn said. "How many tricks did Lincoln learn from us?"

"Probably more than we know," Lana guesses. "But that's not important! We've got to stop that prank!"

"While I do admire his clever strategy," Lisa intrudes. "I must admit that he has taken this to the extreme."

"Sheesh!" Lola said. "Even I don't go that far."

"Actually you kinda do," her twin argues. "Sometimes even farther than that."

"Guys," Lucy appears startling them. "This is getting us nowhere."

"Lucy's right. We can't let Lincoln get away with this."

"You guys get to the school pronto!" Lori ordered. "We'll meet up with you as soon as we can!"

"You got it!" And just like that, Lucy, the twins and Lisa dashed out the front door.

"I sure hope they make it," Lynn said. "Well, I'm off to get a pizza sub." Lynn walked away leaving the rest of the girls with a deadpan look.

* * *

Back at the school, the trap is all set up as Lincoln shuts the door slowly. "Okay, everything's going according to plan."

"I don't know Lincoln," Luan said feeling guilty. "I don't think this is a good idea."

"Oh relax. What's the worst that could happen?"

"LINCOLN!"

The duo then spotted their four youngest sisters standing right in front of them with stern looks and their arms crossed.

"Oh….uh….hey guys," Lincoln greeted nervously. "How was your nap?"

The four girls said nothing, just gave him a growl.

"I…..uh….didn't wanna wake you?"

"Cut the crud, Lincoln!" Lola scolded. "This has gone far enough!"

"Oh really? Like you know the meaning of too far?"

"As a matter of fact, I actually do."

"Well it doesn't matter anyway. This is the ultimate prank. As soon as this is done, he's going to be sorry he punished me! He then started laughing sinisterly. Lincoln kept on laughing until Lola slapped him on the side of the face with her glove. "Ow! What was that for?"

"Because you're acting crazy! This isn't like you!" Lola said as she put her glove back on.

"Lincoln, this has to stop," Lana said. "You're being really mean."

"No I'm not. I'm just trying to get back at him being too hard on me."

"That's called being mean," Lola said. "And I know mean when I see it. I'm practically the queen of mean."

"I concur," Lisa agrees. "In addition, you also seem to display high amounts of narcissistic egotism. Or in your case: selfishness."

"What?! I'm not being selfish!"

"Stop denying it Lincoln," Lana confronted. "We know what you've been doing and we're not letting you get away with it anymore."

"Why is everyone always on his side?"

"We're not on anyone's side! But what you're doing is not right. This is what happens when hate and revenge is all you think of. You need to stop."

"You're just jealous because…" Lincoln then spotted Mr. Markowski arriving with Mrs. Johnson. "Hurry, they're coming!" The kids then hid in a nearby bush.

"So, today's your last day huh?" Mrs. Johnson asked the substitute.

"Yeah," he replies, "but it's not like it's gonna make much of a difference anyway."

"Well you shouldn't let one little boy make you feel so down."

"I know. But he just makes everything harder for me and everybody else. I mean sure I can be tough sometimes, but that Lincoln and his pranks, he just takes the fun out of everything. He's a spoil sport."

"I know Lincoln can be tough to deal with sometimes, but he's actually a really nice kid."

"I don't know. Maybe I'm just not meant for teaching. If all the kids are going to hate me like Lincoln does, maybe I should just give it up."

Lincoln heard the conversation and then started to feel guilty. "What have I done? Mr. Markowski is gonna give up teaching and it's all my fault."

"Great," Lana said as she rolled her eyes. "Now you realize your mistake."

"You may have done some pretty selfish things Lincoln," Lola scolded. "But this has gone over the top!"

"I wasn't trying to be mean. I just couldn't take the blame anymore. Oh man. I've become an even bigger bully than Chandler. A bully to a teacher."

Lucy put her hand on Lincoln's shoulder. "Lincoln, don't be so hard on yourself. You just let your frustration get the better of you. It happens to all of us. Sometimes people will do things to hurt you or make you upset, but if you try to hurt them back, it'll only hurt you even more. And that hurt can last for a really long time."

"You guys are right. I shouldn't have gotten so upset. Maybe I should apologize."

"Well you might wanna hurry," Lisa warned.

"Oh yeah before…...THE TRAP!" Lincoln then jumped out of the bushes to warn the two teachers. "WAIT! HOLD IT! STOP!"

"Lincoln?"

"I got something to say." Lincoln ran up and faced his substitute. "Mr. Markowski, you don't have to quit your job. I don't hate you. I just thought you hated me."

"What are you talking about Loud? I don't hate you."

"Well it kinda felt that way. I didn't mean to be bad. I'm really sorry about misbehaving. But the thing is I was well behaved at first, but then I still got in trouble. Then I just wanted to get back at you. But I know now that two wrongs don't make a right."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm sorry too. I should've listened to you more before punishing you. From now on, if you have any problems, we'll talk."

"But it's your last day today. There won't be a next time."

"Oh yes there will be!" Just then, Coach Pacowski and his crew walked up to the gym door with a trophy in their possession.

"Coach? What are you doing here?"

"Turns out we won first prize and we got another gig at the convention. So it looks like I'm gonna need a sub for a little while longer."

"Really? That's great! I mean great that you won the contest. I mean it's great that Mr Markowski is gonna be teaching us. I mean….. I mean….."

"It's okay Lincoln," Mr. Markowski exclaimed. "We get it."

"Well enough standing in the doorway," Mrs Johnson said. "Let's go inside so we could put the trophy in the case."

Lincoln then gets worried and ran right in front of the door. "Uh….why don't we just admire it out here?"

"Lincoln? What's going on?"

"I…...um…...it's just that….you see…...I….."

"Because Lincoln wanted to make sure the place was clean when you returned." Luan came up with the rest of the girls. "And since he's such a nice little brother, he asked us if we could assist him. So if you'll kindly wait out here, we'll just get right to work." Luan then starts to open the door.

"Wait! Luan! Don't open the door! Don't open the door! It might….."

But it was too late. Luan opened the door and tripped on the wire which then caused a bucket of confetti to fall on her head, making her stumble onto a bar of soap into a bunch of pies and onto a loose floorboard held up by a spring, which in turn sent her flying into the air into a bag of flour and then into a barrel of syrup then into a bag of feathers, which sets off a chain reaction which resulted in Luan being completely covered in a pile of trash that was caused by a trash can being dumped on her.

Everyone was shocked, but instead of being upset, she just came out of the pile laughing.

"I guess the joke is on the jokester," Luan said dusting herself off.

This received a lot of laughs and applause from the teachers and staff. "Well that certainly was something. You know, I think we've found ourselves an opening act."

"Really?" Lincoln asked with surprise. "You think my sister could perform with you guys?"

"But of course! What's your name young lady?"

"Luan Loud, owner of Luan Out Loud and Funny Business Incorporated, where your fun is our business."

"Well Luan Loud, give us a call whenever you're available." One of the staff handed Luan a business card. "We'll look forward to doing business with you."

"And I'll look forward to it."

"I'm glad you got your big break Luan," Lincoln congratulates his sister.

"I'm just glad I didn't open that door," Mr Markowski exclaimed.

Just then, Chandler and his crew came in through the door. "Just wait until Mr Markowski sees what I have in store for him."

"Chandler!" The substitute in question exclaimed. "Are you responsible for this?"

"Huh?" Chandler looks around to see that the entire gym is a complete wreck.

"Wait!" Lincoln stepped in. "Hold on!"

"That's enough Lincoln," Mr Markowski said. "I've heard enough."

"But-."

"Loud," Coach Pakowski said. "He said that's enough."

"But-."

"Lincoln," Lucy puts her hand on his shoulder. "Let it go."

Lincoln then decided to shrug it off and let it slide.

* * *

Outside the gym, Mr. Markowski is making Chandler do a hundred squats as punishment.

"But this time I really didn't do it!"

"No talking!"

* * *

Meanwhile, the rest of the girls arrive to clean up the mess.

"You know, I never thought I'd say this," Lincoln says. "But cleaning up pranks are a lot more fun than pulling them off."

"Yeah," Luan agrees. "Though I gotta say Lincoln, that prank you had in mind was way over the top."

"I'll say," Lynn admired. "To be honest, I didn't even think you had a mischievous side."

"To tell you the truth, neither did I."

"Though I can kinda see where he gets it from," Lana muttered under her breath."

"Guys. I'm really sorry I didn't listen to you when you told me to stop. Especially you Luan."

"It's okay Lincoln," Luan responded. "But it's sorta my fault too. I should've listened to my conscience. But I'm being serious when I say this now, it's okay to have a laugh once in a while, but it's not okay to play jokes just to be mean."

"Wow. I never knew you were so morally smart."

"Hey, just because I'm a comedian doesn't mean I can't have a heart. Seriously though, don't forget get it."

"I'm just glad that things didn't end up cataclysmic," Lisa added.

"Okay Lisa, you can stop goofing around," Lana said.

"I'm quite serious. This is only the beginning. The worst has yet to come, and it will be coming."

Leni gasped. "Really?"

"Oh yes…..WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT!"

Leni screamed and ran right out the door and Lisa begins laughing uncontrollably.

"What a gullible pushover."

"Wait," Lincoln paused. "You mean that whole thing was a trick? Luan's pranks really aren't going to destroy the world? Or the universe?"

"That's _my_ practical joke." Lisa kept on laughing but the rest of her siblings seemed uninterested. She then stopped laughing and looked towards the audience. "Eh, maybe you have to be a genius to get it."

* * *

 **Well there's the story. Sorry if a few parts of it are a little too extreme, but I've kinda been having trouble with writing stories lately, so I've been trying out some new things. For one thing, I've decided to give other characters a chance to have a story their own and there will be a few more. Also I apologize if Lincoln seems a bit too out of character in this story, but there's something I would like to point out. You see, if you noticed in a few episodes like _Get the Message, The Waiting Game, Ties that Bind_ and _What Wood Lincoln Do_ , while Lincoln is mostly caring and considerate, he's also known for having a bit of a mischievous side. And while I did try to include that in the story, I also tried to soften it up as much as I could.**

 **One last thing I forgot to mention is that I'm sure you're wondering about that one scene with the sound scrambler. Well I actually got that inspiration from Dr. Seuss' _The Grinch Grinches the Cat in the Hat,_ and it was a little tricky trying to come up with a prank for Luna, so I figured, why not? With all that said, I hope you all enjoyed this story and until next time, so long everybody!**


	34. Sleep Snacker

**Here's yet another story. Now to clarify, this one originally started out as a suggestion. When I was looking in the reviews, I noticed there was one that suggested I do a story based on the _Chowder_ episode _the Sleep Eater_ , with Lynn as the main character. After thinking it over, I realized that it would make a really great addition. So get ready for The Sleep Snacker.**

* * *

It's late at night in the Loud house. Everyone is asleep. That is all except for Lynn Loud Jr. who happens to be in the kitchen looking for a midnight snack. She is going into the fridge and gathers some food together to make a 20 layer sandwich. Once it was all done, she started walking back to her room with the sandwich, not noticing that her father is standing in the background.

"Hold it right there!" Lynn Sr. stopped his daughter. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Just grabbing a midnight snack." Lynn Jr. kept on moving until her father stopped her once again.

"Give me that!" Her father snatched the food away from her. "Listen LJ. Late night snacking is too dangerous. It could ruin your appetite and…" Lynn Jr. doesn't seem to be listening, but is instead staring at the food in her father's hand. "You're not listening to me, are you?"

"Yes I am!"

"What did I just say?"

"Blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah blabbity blah blah blah. And I missed the last part because I was looking at the food."

"Go to bed, Junior."

"Aw man."

"And remember, _no_ snacking!"

Lynn walked all the way upstairs back into her and Lucy's room.

"Let me guess," Lucy asked. "Dad wouldn't let you have a midnight snack again?"

"What was your first clue?" Lynn groaned as she threw herself onto her bed. "I'm gonna starve, Lucy. All I have to eat through the night is _this_." Lynn lifted her football helmet on her nightstand revealing that under it was a chicken drumstick. She was about to bite into it when….

"Lynn, I don't think you should do that. Remember what dad said?"

"For your information dutchess, dad said no _snacking_ , and this isn't a _snack_. It's a _meal_."

"Still melts to the same thing."

"Ah, you worry too much. What harm could it do?" With that, Lynn ate the drumstick until it was nothing but bone. "See? Nothing happened. Everything is alright. Night Lucy."

Lynn went to sleep, but Lucy was still up feeling a little cautious. "Technicalities," she groaned.

* * *

The next morning, everyone awoke to see the kitchen was a complete mess.

"Morning everyone." Lynn Jr stepped in with food all over her mouth (without noticing). "Wow! Look at this mess. Looks like you guys have a lot of cleaning to do."

Everyone else just stared at her. "What did I tell you last night?" Her father scolded.

"Was it something about turkeys?"

"No! I told you _NO_ midnight snacking! But you snacked anyway!"

"What? No I didn't!"

"Oh really? Then why is there food on your face?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I don't know!"

"So you're telling me that you _didn't_ just get out of your bed and come downstairs and eat everything in the refrigerator last night?"

"Not that I recall."

Both parents sighed in greif. "Alright kids," their mother announced. "Your father and I are going food shopping. We'll be back soon."

Both parents take off, leaving the kids alone to clean up the mess in the kitchen.

"This is just great!" Lola complains. "Not only are we stuck cleaning up the mess, but now we have to go the whole morning _without_ breakfast."

"Clearly we have a somnambulant consumer in our midst," Lisa hypothesized.

"Lisa's right," Lori agreed. "Who in here ate something after midnight?"

"All I had was a glass of warm milk," Lincoln answered. "And that was _before_ I went to sleep."

"So did I," everyone else answered.

"I was afraid this was gonna happen," Lucy whispers to herself. But it turns out everyone heard what she said.

"What do you mean, Lucy?" The sole Loud brother asked.

"It's not _me_ you should be asking." Lucy pointed to her athletic roommate, to which everyone gives a stern look.

"What?"

"Lynn," Lori confronted. "Did you eat anything at midnight?"

"No."

Her siblings started giving her a stink eye.

"I mean….not a lot."

The others are still glaring.

"Okay! Fine! Yes! Yes I did! But what's the big deal anyway? What does any of that have to do with this?"

"I may have a theory," the young genius sister exclaimed. "Siblings, come."

Lisa lead everyone to her room. Moments later, Lynn is hooked up to one of her machines and the others are looking on the monitors.

"Just as I figured," Lisa analyzed. "It appears that your appetite clock has been thrown out of whack. I'm afraid your late night snacker has turned you into a sleep eater."

"Is that like a sleepwalker?" Lincoln asked.

"Affirmative."

"So you're telling me that I ate all that food last night?" Lynn realized. "But I don't even remember having one bite."

"A sleep snacker never has any memory of eating."

"No memory at all?"

Lisa shook her head.

"Well that's stupid," Lana claims. "What's the point of eating if you can't even remember doing it? It's just pointless all together."

"Well how are we supposed to fix it?" Lincoln asked.

"I may have a solution," Lisa exclaims.

* * *

The kids are all in Lynn and Lucy's room. Lynn is laying down chained up in her bed.

Lisa explains the situation. "Now Lynn, the only way to get your appetite back to normal is to get through a full night without eating anything."

"Not a single bite?" Lynn asked.

"Not a single bite."

"Okay, but why am I all chained up?"

"Once a sleep snacker's appetite emerges, it'll do anything for food. And it won't let anything stand in its way. It's strength equals that of a tiger plus a gorilla."

"So it's like a Tigerilla?"

"If that's what you're referring it to, then precisely. Even Lori and Lola at their worst couldn't break through these reinforced steel chains."

"Yeah," Lana confirms. "I oughta know. I've tried it before."

"Okay," Lynn said. "But where'd you get the chains from?"

"Oh," Lana answered. "Those were in my closet. I keep them in there for emergencies."

"Why?"

"No reason."

"Okay…..one more question: would you mind untying me for a quick second? I gotta use the toilet."

"Very well," Lisa ordered. "Siblings, unchain her if you please."

The other kids then undo the chains, but Lynn still remains in her bed for a few seconds.

"Well? Go!"

"I just did."

Everyone looks surprised. "Tie her back up siblings."

The others did as they were told, much to their annoyance.

"I'm kinda worried about Lynn," Lincoln. "What if she ends up eating everything again?"

"I have a plan for that as well," Lisa stated. "We're gonna be guarding the fridge the entire night. And we'll be using these." Lisa pulls out a bunch of jumbo sized kitchen utensils (such as forks and spoons).

"You think you could have chosen better weapons than kitchen utensils?"

"Well we wanted to use spears, but mom and dad said they were too dangerous. They said we could poke an eye out."

Lincoln looks to the audience. "Yet they decide it's okay to let a six year old girl use a power drill?"

* * *

Downstairs in the kitchen, the kids are all standing in a row. Lincoln is standing next to Lori with a giant spoon in his hand. He then sees that Lori had a fork in her position. "You know, I think I might feel more comfortable if I had the _fork_ of power."

Lori then gives Lincoln the fork while she gets the spoon. However, Lincoln changes his mind.

"But then again, I guess people are more interested in a _spoon_ then a _fork_."

The two siblings then switched back, but Lincoln still has second thoughts.

"Then again, a _fork_ is a better weapon."

* * *

Meanwhile, Lynn is tossing and turning in her bed. Throughout her struggling, she began to transform into a huge ferocious beast. She then broke out of the chains and made her way down the stairs.

Back in the kitchen, Lori and Lincoln are fighting over the kitchen utensils.

"What do you mean no more switching?"

"I literally mean no more switching! Make up your mind!"

"I knew I should have gone with sporks," Lisa sighed.

"Listen Lori," Lincoln ordered. "I'm the man of the house, and if I say I want the fork, then I….want…..the….fork?" Lincoln turned around to see a huge beast standing right behind him.

"You shall not pass!"

The beast took the fork from Lincoln and bent it before throwing it over her shoulder. She then shoved all the siblings aside to the side and made her way towards the fridge and attempted to open it. Her siblings tried to stop her, but she was so strong that they were unable to. Lynn ate everything in the fridge before lifting it and throwing it against a wall.

* * *

Once the morning came, Lynn awoke from her bed. "Oh…...my head. What happened?" Lynn spotted bits of food lying all over her bedsheets. "Oh no! I didn't!" Lynn rushed down the stairs to the kitchen, only to find it a complete mess and her sisters and brother lying against a wall in minor pain.

"Lynn?" Lincoln awoke feeling pretty weak. "Is that you?"

"Lincoln! What happened!? What did I do?!"

"It all happened so fast. We were trying to stop it but you overpowered us."

"No! It can't be! I'm a monster!"

"Lynn! Relax. I'm not dying. None of us are. We're just a little sore is all."

"Yeah," Lana said. "We'll be fine."

"We are known to be pretty fast healers," Lucy explains.

Just then, the parents came in and were just as shocked as Lynn was. "What on earth happened in here?!" Rita asked in despair. "Please tell me Lynn _didn't_ eat everything in the fridge again."

"You wanna rethink asking that question mom?" Luna asked.

"Should've known!" The father exclaimed. "Oh I can just _imagine_ our profits going down the drain. If this keeps up, I'll have to keep pulling in for a double shift."

"Don't fret honey. We'll just go out and get more food."

"I guess if we have to," he said to his wife before turning to his daughter. "And if I come back and find out you've been eating in your sleep again, you're grounded."

Lynn Sr and Rita take off again, leaving the kids alone.

"I hope you're proud of yourself Lynn," Lori scolded.

"What?!" She shouted in exasperation. "How is it _my_ fault?"

"Maybe if you _hadn't_ been snacking before you went to bed, this wouldn't be happening."

"Technically it wasn't a _snack_ I was…."

"SAME DIFF!"

"Seriously Lynn," Lincoln steps in. "You have to stop eating in your sleep! You're the only one who can do it."

"Hello, what about _me_?!" Lola intervenes.

Lincoln pulls out a book and reads it. "Sorry Lola. It says here you only have a _minor_ role in this story."

"What?! A _minor_ role! Lola Loud doesn't do _minor_ roles! This is an outrage!"

"Sorry sis, that's out of our control."

"UGH! Fine! But once this story's over, I'm gonna have a word with my agent!" Lola storms out leaving the others confused.

"What agent is she talking about?" Lana whispers to her brother.

"Honestly, I'm just as clueless as you are."

"Guys!" Lynn shouts. "Shouldn't we be focusing on the big elephant in the room?"

"You're right Lynn," Lincoln says. "Let's see. How can we get Lynn to stop sleep eating?"

All the siblings started thinking, and finally, Lynn comes up with a solution. "That's it! If I can't stop myself from _eating_ , then I'll just stop myself from _sleeping_!"

Lynn then ran up the stairs, leaving the rest of her siblings quite worried.

"She's not gonna make it, is she?" Lincoln asked.

"Nope."

"Well it looks like one of us is gonna have to watch over her tonight and…."

"DIBS NOT IT!" The girls all touched their noses, but Lincoln lost again.

"Dang it! I _always_ lose at this game!" Lincoln sighed. "Well I guess I might as well start thinking of a plan."

Lincoln was about to head up to his room, when suddenly…..

"WAIT!" Lana steps forward. "Lincoln. I wanna help."

"Lana, I couldn't ask you to…"

"I don't wanna hear it, big bro. I _want_ to help you with Lynn. Remember that time when you were asleep for a whole day and you had a lot of stuff to do? Well, I think I _still_ owe you for that."

"Are you sure that's your _only_ reason?"

"Well that, _and_ Lynn keeps eating the leftover tater tots I was saving for later."

"Should've known that. Okay, I might be a bit crazy for saying this, Lana. But you can help. But _only_ for tonight."

"Deal."

"Good luck you two," Lori says. "If you need us, we'll be very far away."

With that, the rest of the girls dashed right out the front door.

"Flakers," Lana scoffs.

* * *

That night, Lynn is alone in her room sitting on her bed with a pitcher of coffee in one hand and a mug in the other. "Okay, Lynn! You can do this. Not gonna sleep!"

Lynn poured coffee into the mug and started drinking it. "Huh, this coffee sure packs a zing!"

After drinking at least 10 cups of coffee, Lynn started getting hyper and began running around the room rapidly and repeatedly, until finally she stopped right in the middle of the floor.

"Whoa! I guess that coffee wore off," she yawned. "Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt just to…...rest my eyelids a bit."

But as soon as she fell asleep, she transformed into the sleep eating beast again. She made her way down the stairs and headed over to the kitchen. She attempted to raid the fridge, but she gets startled by a loud whistling sound. The sound wakes her up and turns her back to normal. "What happened?"

Lincoln then came out. "Ha! Caught you!"

"What's the big idea little bro?"

"Lynn, I'd like you to meet your new sleep snacking monitors, Lincoln and Lana, the fearsome twosome." Lincoln whispers, "Lana, that's your cue."

Lana comes marching into the kitchen with a whistle around her neck.

"Here's what's gonna happen. Lana is going to be watching your every move, and every time you try to eat something, she'll blow her whistle, and I'll come running."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. And I certainly don't need a….sleep…..monitor." Lynn falls asleep again which caused Lana to blow her whistle to wake her up.

"I know it's a little extreme, but someday you'll thank me for this."

* * *

Lincoln and Lana carried Lynn all the way back to her room. Lynn was trying really hard to stay awake, but her eyelids kept closing. That is until Lana blew her whistle again, startling her.

"Lynn, you have to stay awake!" Lincoln warned. "If you fall asleep, you could start eating everything again."

"I know," she said. "Not to worry. I've got a few ideas for that."

All throughout that night, Lincoln and Lana tried really hard to keep Lynn awake all morning. They even tried drinking coffee to keep themselves awake.

"Why are you standing on your head?" Lincoln asked.

"I hope that if I stand on my head, it'll help me stay awake all night." Lynn continues standing on her head until finally she fell on her back. When that idea didn't work, she tried something else.

"Why are you pouring water over your head?"

"I hope that if I pour water over my head, it'll help me stay awake all night." But of course, that idea didn't work either, as the water was too cold. Lynn was then forced to resort to one last method. Which was….

"Why are you banging your head against the wall?"

"I hope that if I bang my head against the wall, it'll help me stay awake all night." However that idea was the least likely to work, as Lynn was starting to give herself a concussion.

Luckily Lincoln was able to catch her. "Lynn, that's enough! You're gonna crack your skull if you keep doing that." Lincoln then turns to his other sister. "Lana, this isn't working! We need to try something else."

Lana thinks for a minute and then gets an idea. "I've got it! Wait right here!" Lana ran out of the room for a minute and then came back with a record player. "Luna always uses this whenever she needs a little motivation."

Lana put a needle on a record and turned on the player. Unfortunately, loud rock music started coming out of it. So loud that it blasted everyone against the wall. Despite the music being so strong, Lincoln and Lana managed to get to the player and shut it off.

"This is tougher than I thought," Lincoln said.

"I know," Lana agrees. "Who knew that keeping someone awake would be harder than putting them to sleep?"

"Wait!" Lincoln then realized something. "Did that music keep Lynn awake?"

"I don't know. Probably the opposite I would guess."

"But that could mean…"

Lincoln was right. Lynn was transformed into the sleep snacking creature. But as soon as she opens the fridge, not only did Lana blow her whistle again, but the fridge was completely empty.

"I _really_ hate that whistle," Lynn groaned.

"I know this is getting annoying, but I don't want you to feel like you owe me anything."

"Oh no," her sister replied. "I _insist_ on paying you back for this."

"Lana?" Lincoln asked. "What happened to all the food?"

"Oh, I had a feeling that Lynn might try to feast again. So I took the liberty of hiding all the food in my secret hiding place."

"And where might that be?"

"If I told you, it wouldn't be secret. Plus the sleep snacker will find it."

"Fair enough," Lincoln shrugged. "Okay, Lisa said that Lynn's appetite will go back to normal as long as she doesn't eat anything before the sun comes up. And according to my watch, the sun will rise, in exactly one hour."

"Okay! So all we have to do is keep her awake until then. Sound good Lynn?" No answer. "Lynn?"

The two siblings then saw Lynn as the sleep snacker again. Just as she was opening the cupboards, Lana blew her whistle to wake her up. "Aha! Fooled you again! Since you two are the same person, I figured you would know where my secret hiding place was. So I hid the food in my _super_ secret hiding place."

"I'm so gonna get you for this!" Lynn threatens. "Just as soon as i…*yawn*...take a snooze." Lynn fell asleep again.

* * *

Later, Lynn was in the bathroom looking for the food (in her sleep). Lana blew her whistle again.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Lynn shouts.

"Come on Lynn," Lana stated. "You should know I never hide food in my mondo-secretive-extreme-secrecy-super-secret hiding place."

"Why not?" Lincoln asked stupidly.

"Because it's too disgusting. Plus I don't think anyone else would appreciate that."

"Good point."

"That's why I thought of a _secretly_ - _secluded_ -mondo-secretive-extreme-secrecy-super-secret hiding place. And as long as Lynn doesn't find out it's on the roof, we should be all right." But Lana then realized the last part of her sentence. "And _why_ did I just say that out loud?"

"Nice going Lana," Lincoln says with a deadpan look.

"Don't worry bro. As long as Lynn doesn't fall asleep again, we should be fine."

Lincoln then pointed behind her.

"And she just fell asleep again and sleep walked out of here, didn't she?"

"Yep."

"Dang it."

"Come on! There's only 5 minutes left until the sun comes up! We've got to stop her!"

"Right!"

Lana ran out the door, but Lincoln started to lag behind as he started feeling a pain in his stomach. "But please!" Lincoln groaned. "No more coffee. I just remembered. I don't like coffee."

* * *

Outside, the sleep snacker then ran right out the house and spotted all the food on top of the roof. As she climbed up to reach it, her two siblings then followed her and watched from the front lawn.

"Seriously Lana?" Lincoln asked annoyed. "Of all the hiding places you had to think of, _this_ one had to be out in the open?"

"I kept running out of places to hide my things!" She answered.

"Whatever. We've only got less than 2 minutes before the sun comes up. You know what that means."

"It's whistle time!"

Lana blew her whistle just as Lynn started climbing. She woke up and started sliding down. "Oh no you don't! I'm not gonna let you eat!" The beast then kept coming back again and climbed up, and every time Lana blew her whistle, Lynn kept waking up and sliding back down. "Okay, I'm getting beyond tired of that whistle!"

Finally, the sleep snacker made it to the rooftop where the food is. As she approaches it, she kept waking up and falling back asleep again. "No! I can't!" She then looked at her watch. "Only 20 seconds until sunrise! I can do this!" But her hopes were dashed as she kept turning into the sleep snacker and back to herself again. "Or maybe I can't!"

Lincoln started counting down as this was happening. "10 seconds…...9…..8….7….6….5….4….3….2…..1!"

Right on time. The sun rises and the night turned into day. "It's morning," Lynn realized. "I made it through the night! I did it! And I got my appetite back!" Lynn then ate all the food that was on the roof and climbed back down onto the lawn.

"Lana?" Lincoln says. "I know we make a great team, but let's make sure this never happens again."

"Agreed."

"So, it's finally over?" Lynn asked.

"Yep," Lincoln answered.

"What a relief. That means I can finally do this." Lynn took the whistle from Lana and threw it at a distance.

"You know you could have just asked me to take it off," she said.

"Sorry. Force of habit."

Then the girls (sans Lola) and the parents arrived.

"Way to go you guys," Lori congratulates.

"I must say Lincoln," Lisa said. "Those were some professional tactics. You've really outdone yourself. As did you Lana."

"And where were you guys?" Lincoln confronted

"We were hiding in Lisa's bunker," Leni answered.

"Whatever. So I guess Lynn is finally back to normal?"

"Only one way to find out," Lisa announced.

* * *

Back in the house, Lynn is once again hooked up to Lisa's brain scanner, which then showed positive results.

"So, are we good?" Lynn asked.

"Affirmative," Lisa announces. "It appears that Lynn's appetite schedule is back in tip-top condition.

"Well, I guess everything's back to normal," the father explains. "But one thing that confuses me is what happened to all our food?"

"Oh," Lynn jr answered. "I ate it for breakfast."

The parents gave her a deadpanned look. "Guess we'll have to go food shopping again," Rita said as she left with her husband one last time.

"Sheesh! Talk about _eating_ out of house and home," Luan jokes. "Get it?"

Lola came in with a bored look on her face.

"Hey Lola," Lincoln greeted. "How'd it go with your agent?"

"I didn't even get to _see_ him," she complains. "Apparently he was in a meeting. Well, nothing left to do now. I might as well just relax in my dressing room."

"Dressing room?"

"Yeah. I figure I'll just go in there and use the bowling alley."

"The what?"

"The bowling alley. See you later guys." Lola leaves again leaving everyone confused.

"Lola has a bowling alley in her dressing room?" Lincoln asked jealously. " _I_ don't have a bowling alley in _my_ dressing room! Hey! I want to talk to my agent!"

Lincoln ran off, leaving everybody dumbfounded.

"Eh, we'll ask about this later."

* * *

 **And there you have it. Now you're probably wondering what will be next. Well, I actually have a few more ideas of my own that I would like to use. And some of them are already done in advance so they should be coming really soon. And yes I do plan to include a Halloween chapter. So until then, stay tuned for more.**


	35. All Grown Up

**Here's a request from Mr. Animator. For this one, I was asked to do a story based on _The Amazing World of Gumball_ episode _the Mustache_. And seeing as how I'm trying to look for more ideas for the Loud House Tales, I figured, why not? So, enjoy.**

 **As always, I own nothing. _The Amazing World of Gumball_ (Ben Bocquelet) belongs to Cartoon Network and _the Loud House_ (Chris Savino) belongs to Nickelodeon.**

* * *

The story begins in the morning. Lincoln woke up from his bed for his daily routine. However unlike every other morning, Lincoln didn't seem to happy as he usually does. In fact, you might actually say he was a little grumpy. Just then, his best friend Clyde came at the door. "Hey Clyde," Lincoln greeted unenthusiastically.

"Hey Lincoln." His best friend was a little concerned. "What's the matter? You don't seem too happy."

"That's because I'm _not_ happy at all."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"I don't know. I just don't want to go to school today."

"I know how you feel buddy. I don't really wanna go to school either."

Lincoln then got a suggestion. "Hmmm. Maybe we don't _have_ to."

"What do you mean?"

"How about if we skip school today?"

"Really? You can do that?"

"Sure. Why not? Grown ups take a day off, so why can't _we_?"

"Well it _does_ sound good. But we better ask for permission first."

"Don't worry. We can ask my dad right now. I'm sure he'll say yes."

In the kitchen, Lincoln and Clyde were confronted by Lynn Loud Sr. "No son. You can't take a day off."

"How'd you know I was gonna ask that?" Lincoln asked.

"You learn a few things when you become a parent. Also I heard you two talking by the front door."

"Aw come on! School is so boring!"

"Sorry kiddo. But you _have_ to. You're kids. All kids do it." Just then the doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" The father ran off leaving the two boys alone.

"I just wish we could grow up faster. That way we could do whatever we want whenever we want. We'd never have to go to school and nobody could tell us what to do. We could drive, stay up late, even vote!"

The two boys imagined what it would be like if they were adults, when Lynn Sr came back with a box of supplements. "Yes! They're finally here!"

"What's that?"

"Oh! It's…...uh….nothing you need to know. And whatever it is, it's mine."

Lynn hid the box behind his back, but Lincoln was still suspicious. "Right," he said sarcastically. "So anyway, about school….."

"Oh right! Where was I? Oh yeah, I'm sorry kiddo, but whether you like it or not, you have to go to school."

"Aw that's not fair!"

"Not everything in life is fair. Besides, you should be happy you're a kid. Pretty soon you'll have to go to work every day, start a family, provide for it, pay for a car and a house, constantly look in the mirror and think about all the regrettable decisions you've made over the years…" Lynn felt himself getting emotionally broken up. "I…...have to go! You're in charge of breakfast!" Lynn ran out of the kitchen sobbing, but unknown to any of them, he ran off with the cereal box instead.

Just then, Lisa, Lola and Lana came in wondering what all the commotion was about.

"What's the matter with him?" Lola asked.

"I'm sure he'll be fine," Lincoln assured. "Let's just have breakfast."

* * *

Later on, Clyde and Lincoln are on the school bus. But Lincoln was still pretty grumpy. "This is a bunch of junk!"

"Lincoln, watch your language! You'll get us into trouble!"

"Well I'm sorry Clyde, but it is. It's a big, stinking pile of junk! It's just not fair! Grown ups get to stay home and we have to go to school! Grown ups are free to do whatever they want, whenever they want, however they want to do it! I wish I could see what it's like."

Clyde was still a little concerned about his friend and decided to take something out of his backpack. "Well if you really want to find out, I suppose we could use this." The object was nothing more than just a plain old stick.

"A stick?"

"Not _just_ a stick. A _magic wishing_ stick."

"How's that supposed to help?"

"Easy. All you do is rub the stick and say your wish. And within a matter of time, your wish will come true."

"Well, when you put it that way, I guess I got nothing to lose." Lincoln took the stick, rubbed it with his left hand, and whispered his wish. "I wish I was all grown up."

"Hold up buddy. If you really want to do this, then I guess I will too."

Lincoln gave the stick back to Clyde as he did the same thing. "So now we just wait?"

"Apparently."

* * *

In class, Lincoln was getting tired of waiting as his teacher was getting the lecture started.

"Okay class," Mrs. Johnson announced. "Today we will be learning about the human body. And what will happen as you grow up."

However the boys were still uninterested. "How long is this going to take?" Lincoln grumbled.

"Relax," Clyde assures. "It's only an hour till lunch."

"Not the lecture. The wish."

"That I can't answer. But you're just gonna have to wait. You can't rush these things you know."

"I know but….."

"Boys!" The two then turned around to see their teacher standing right in front of them. "What's going on here?"

"Nothing to worry about Mrs. Johnson!" Lincoln said nervously.

"What were you just talking about?"

"Uh…..about what we'll be doing when we're grown up?"

"Hmmmm…...well as long as you're on topic. But please save your discussions for after class." The boys then nodded their heads. His teacher then went back to the board. "Now, the first stage is acne. Now I know it's a little disturbing, but believe me, it happens to everyone. Now pimples can appear at any time, most likely during your teen years….."

As their teacher is going on and on, a pimple started growing on Clyde's face. Lincoln quickly took note of it. "Uh…..Clyde? What's that?"

"What?"

"That! That thing on the side of your face."

Clyde saw what Lincoln was pointing at and was immediately shocked. "Ah! What is that? How'd this happen?"

"I don't know! I haven't seen breakouts like this since Lori's awkward stage!"

"Well don't just sit there! Do something!"

"Okay, okay!" Lincoln took the eraser top off his pencil and used it to hide his zit. Clyde sighed in relief, but then more pimples started popping up, making him scream. "I think we're gonna need more pencil toppers. Anyway it doesn't look that bad."

"Easy for you to say! Why don't you have any?"

"I guess I'm just lucky." But just as Lincoln said that, multiple pimples started popping up on the side of his face, making him shocked. The boys ran out of the room screaming.

The boys are in the bathroom looking in the mirror in horror. "What's happening to us?" Lincoln shouts.

"Maybe we've got the plague!"

"Do you have any other symptoms?"

"Well the top of my lip feels a little silky." That result was that Clyde was growing a mustache.

"Whoa! You look like an undercover officer!"

"Stop mocking me! Do something!"

"Don't worry, I got this." Lincoln took out a thin roll of tape. "I've seen mom do this all the time, and dad on one occasion." Lincoln took off a piece of the tape and put it on Clyde's mustache. He then peeled off the tape and the mustache came off. But soon came a bigger mustache along with some thick eyebrows. Which ended up making him scream even more.

"Come on! It's not that bad!"

"It's not me I'm worried about! It's you! You look like a baby gorilla!"

Lincoln saw he had more hair on his face, including a beard and sideburns. "No! Why? How could this happen to us?!" Lincoln breathed in heavily. "Okay, grab some tape."

* * *

Later, Lincoln and Clyde arrive in gym class, but while most of their facial hair is gone, most of their head hair is also in patches. Coach Pacowski then came in. "Alright cadets! Settle down! I want everyone to get into teams for dodgeball!"

"Oh no! Not dodgeball!" Lincoln face-palmed.

"Well, well, well. Look who it is." The duo turned to see Chandler standing right in front of them. "Get ready to lose, wusses," he said as he punched his fists together.

Everyone got into their teams and the siren went off. During the entire game, Lincoln and Clyde constantly get hit by dodgeballs. One of them is actually a bowling ball which ends up crashing into the floor.

"Oh come on!" Lincoln shouts. "A bowling ball!?" Chandler started laughing teasingly, which started making Lincoln really mad. Just then, one last dodgeball was coming at him, but this time, he managed to catch it. "ENOUGH!" Everyone was surprised that Lincoln's voice had gotten deeper. He then went into a transformation where he became a grown man, with a mustache and sideburns as well as huge muscles. The same thing began happening to Clyde as well. Lincoln threw the dodgeball back furiously, which caused it to fly into a wall. Afterwards, Lincoln and Clyde looked at each other and were completely horrified.

The boys are now hiding inside the broom closet, and principal Huggins is standing right outside the door.

"This is horrible!" Clyde screamed. "We're monsters!"

"No you're not," the principal reassured. "It's just a part of life."

Lincoln opened the door. "Are you saying we're adults now?"

"Apparently so."

"That means the wishing stick worked!"

"Good for you. Now get back to class!"

"Yes sir." Lincoln then realized something. "Hey wait a minute! Why should we listen to you?"

"Hey yeah," Clyde realized. "We can do whatever we want now that we're men!"

* * *

Later, both Lincoln and Clyde were both taking a stroll around town.

"Oh boy, Clyde! This is great!" Lincoln shouts. "Now that we're men, We can do all we want. We could test drive a car, just like a star in tv films. We can barbecue, buy power tools, get cool tattoos and buy our own house to call our home."

"Hold on!" Clyde stopped. "We can't. We don't have enough money."

"In that case," Lincoln adds. "Let's get jobs!"

* * *

Lincoln and Clyde are now at an office room getting interviewed for a job. "Well boys," the secretary said. "As far as I can see from your 'resumes', you have absolutely no qualifications whatsoever. Do either of you have any applicable skills?"

"Well I can do this." Lincoln demonstrates by balancing a wooden spoon on the tip of his thumb. However the secretary was not amused.

"Look, for the last time Mr Loud, balancing a wooden spoon is _not_ a valuable skill in the work environment."

"Oh sorry. Point taken."

"Good. Now judging by your track records…." the secretary got annoyed again as Lincoln was balancing the spoon on his thumb again.

"Sorry." Lincoln stopped and the secretary pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Look, right now, I need you boys to give me a valid reason why I should even _consider_ giving either of you a job."

"Well, I can put my foot behind my head," Clyde says.

"That's not a skill." Lincoln performed his spoon trick again. "This is."

"You boys want a job? Well you can have mine! I quit!" The lady threw name tags at both of them and stormed out the door. "Good luck!" The door slams shut.

"So what do people with jobs do?" Clyde asked.

"I don't know," Lincoln answered. "Hiring and firing?"

"Cool. Well in that case, you're hired."

"So are you."

"Now what?"

"Guess we should do some firing?"

Moments later, Lincoln and Clyde go around firing the employees. "You're fired!"

"You're fired!"

"You're fired!"

"You're fired!"

"And _you're_ fired!" Clyde was pointing at Lincoln.

"Hey!" Lincoln interjected. "What are you firing _me_ for?"

"It's what I do."

"Well then _you're_ fired!"

"You can't fire _me_. I just fired _you_."

"Alright! Quick! Hire me again!"

"Okay. You're hired."

"Thanks."

Then the two boys pointed to each other at the same time. "You're fired!"

* * *

Lincoln and Clyde are both at a broken down apartment sitting on an old couch watching television while it's raining outside.

"I can't believe we lost our jobs," Clyde lamented.

"I know," Lincoln sadly agrees. "Being an adult is not all it's cracked up to be. No money, no job, crumby apartment, the rent is overdue, and this is our last bit of food." Lincoln pulls out a slightly dirty candy cane.

"I think we should share it."

"Sorry, what was that?" Clyde turned around to see that Lincoln was munching on the candy cane.

"I can't believe you ate our last piece of food!"

"Well I can't believe I'm stuck in this broken down apartment with you!"

"I can't believe we're both yelling at each other!"

"I know! We're trying to hide from the landlord!"

"Let's be quiet then!"

"Okay!"

The two boys stopped yelling as Lincoln started to feel homesick. "We should have never wished on that stick Clyde. I miss home. I miss my parents, my room, my stuff. I even miss my sisters. I wish we were kids again."

"Me too."

The two boys began to cry as they headed over to their bed, which was just a plain old mattress with a newspaper for a blanket. Just then, loud footsteps were heard outside the door.

"What was that?" Clyde asked.

"Oh no!" Lincoln answered. "It's the landlord!"

The mysterious figure began knocking at the door.

"What are we gonna do?!"

"I don't know!"

The door bursts open to reveal 3 large figures.

"Please don't hurt us!" The boys coward in fear. "Take anything you want! Just leave us alone!"

"Lincoln, it's us. Your sisters." The shadowy figures appeared to be the polar opposite twins and the resident genius, each with muscles and mustaches.

"Lana? Lola? Lisa? What the heck happened to you?"

"Quite a long story," Lisa explains. "But the truth is, we're not really adults and neither are you. Come with us and we'll explain everything." Everyone stepped out of the apartment and started heading for home.

* * *

Meanwhile back at the Loud house, Lynn Sr. was busy looking in the mirror flexing his muscles. But unfortunately, they keep falling like wet noodles. "Dang it!"

"Honey." His wife Rita came in with Lily. "What are you doing?"

"Oh nothing. I'm just not as young as I feel anymore. It's like you always say; we grow up so flab."

"You mean _fast_ Lynn. And I was talking about the kids."

"Speaking of which, where are the kids?"

"I haven't seen them since this morning." Lucy appears right behind them, startling everyone.

"Lucy? How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to hear your laments."

"Well I wish I knew what could have happened with those little rosy-cheeked, baby-faced…...HAIRY MUTANTS!" Lynn pointed right behind everyone revealing Lincoln, Clyde, the twins and Lisa.

"Hi."

"What happened to all of you?" Rita asked.

"I believe I can explain." Lisa pulled out a box of supplements.

"Hey! You found my supplements!" Lynn opened the box only to see that there was nothing in it. "But their empty."

"Can someone please tell me what is going on?" Rita confronts.

"That's what I'd like to know," Lucy said.

"You see it all happened like this," Lisa explains. "Early this morning, our father unit ran off with the cereal box, so we ate the supplements by mistake. And apparently the transformation began while we were at school."

"Okay that explains a lot," Rita finally got the idea. She then turned to her husband. "But why did you buy those supplements in the first place?"

"I couldn't help myself," Lynn sighed as he held up his laptop. "It's the internet's fault. Every time I open my email, this is what I get."

A pop-up ad appears. _"Are you too fat?"_

"Perhaps."

 _"Are you too bald?"_

"Slightly."

 _"Are you really the man she deserves?"_

"Oh shut up!" The father threw the laptop out the window where he threw multiple laptops before.

"Huh," Rita said. "So _that's_ where all the laptops went."

"I was weak! I crumbled Rita! I crumbled!"

"Aw honey, you didn't need them. We love you just the way you are."

"You do?" Everyone nods. "You know what? You're right. Who needs advertisements to judge anyway?"

"Not to break up a tender moment," Lola interrupts. "But what about us? Are we gonna be like this forever?"

"Negatory," Lisa read on the box. "It says here the effects should wear off in about a week."

"I'm gonna miss these muscles when they're gone," Lana lamented.

"Well now that everything's all cleared up, what do you say we go out and have some fun?" Rita suggests. "For old time sake?"

Everyone cheers.

* * *

Later that day, all the young ones were at the playground. Lincoln and Clyde were on the spring riders, Lisa and Lucy were on the roundabout, and Lynn Sr. was pushing the twins on the swing. Meanwhile, Rita was watching with Lily while other parents were watching with confusion and covering their own child's eyes.

"They grow up so fast."


	36. The best DVD in the world

**Based on the _Regular Show_ episode _The Best VHS in the world._**

 **Enjoy.**

* * *

Lincoln and Clyde are at the video rental store. "Hey, if it isn't Clincoln McCloud!" The employee greets. "Let me guess, another retro movie fest I see?"

"Yep," Lincoln answered.

"In that case, let's see your membership card if you please." The man scans the card, but the computer starts making a weird beeping noise. "Huh, it looks like you guys have a video that's overdue. ' _The best DVD in the world_ ', out for two months?"

" _The best DVD in the world_?"

 _A flashback shows Lincoln and Clyde at Lincoln's house watching the video. However, Lincoln is not amused._

 _"Clyde, this movie stinks. Take it out." Clyde goes over to the player and takes out the DVD. "Why'd you even pick this one anyway?"_

 _"Because it's called the best DVD in the world. Plus the cover is made out of gold plastic."_

 _"Well they should definitely rename it the most misleading video in the world."_

 _Clyde then put the disc back in the case and then tossed it over his shoulder._

 _End of flashback._

"Well I'm afraid you guys are gonna have to return the video and pay a late fee."

"But we can't afford a late fee!" Clyde said.

"Yeah!" Lincoln adds. "And what if we can't find it?"

"Then you leave me no choice." The man took out a pair of scissors and threatened to snip the card in half.

"NO! DONT!"

"Why not?"

"All we have is a DVD player," Lincoln answered "and this is the only place left in Royal Woods that still rents discs!"

"Oh yeah," the man groaned. "All those other places being shut down because streaming."

"Look! I think I remember where it is! We can find it and bring it back! Please! Just give us a chance!"

"Alright! But only because you two appreciate such video formats. Get that DVD here ASAP and I won't cancel your membership. And as an added bonus, I'll even waver the fee."

"Thank you! You won't regret it!"

"I better not. Or you'll never rent another video in this store again!"

* * *

Back at the Loud house, the boys were searching the living room.

"Didn't you throw it over there?" Lincoln points to the wall with an air vent.

Unfortunately Clyde doesn't see it. "Nope, sorry."

"It's gotta be around here somewhere. Did you check the player?"

Clyde opens the DVD player, but still can't find it. "Nothing."

"Mom and dad must have put it in my room somewhere."

The boys went up to Lincoln's room, only to find that it's a filthy mess. Trash was lying around everywhere from the bed to the floor and the dresser was covered with scattered papers.

Clyde was shocked. "No wonder you can't find anything. This room is a mess."

"Do you see the DVD?"

"I think you'd be lucky if you could even see your bed."

"Maybe it's under this old pizza box." Lincoln lifted the box, only to find a belt with a faux fox tail on it. "Oh so there's my fake tail belt. But no DVD."

"I guess there's only one thing left to do."

"You don't mean?"

"Clean up."

"What? That'll take forever!"

"Come on, Lincoln. It can't be that bad. At most, it'll probably take an hour or two. That's more than you can say for Lana's room."

"I'd rather just pay the fee."

Clyde was about to argue back, but then realized, "actually, that's not a bad idea."

Lincoln makes a quick call and the phone starts ringing. " _Broadway video_."

"Yes hello? It's me Lincoln."

 _"Listen dude, the game is changed. I need that movie back by 9 o'clock. My manager's doing inventory after we close and he'll call the collections industry if he finds out it's missing."_

"How much would it cost to just replace the video?"

 _"You're not gonna like it."_

"Just tell me!"

 _"One thousand dollars."_

"A THOUSAND DOLLARS?!"

 _"It's a rare out-of-print DVD! A piece of film history."_

"Oh it's a piece all right, (a piece of junk)," Lincoln muttered.

 _"Just bring it back by tonight if you know what's good for you. I heard those guys break thumbs."_ With that, he hung up.

"Well, what is it?" Clyde asked. "What he say?"

"We either need to find the video, pay a thousand dollars or have our thumbs broken."

"What!?" Clyde starts hyperventilating and rummaging through the trash. "We don't have that kind of money! And I really enjoy my thumbs!"

"Clyde! Chill! How are we supposed to find it if you're just gonna panic and make an even bigger mess?"

Clyde starts to calm down. "You're right Lincoln. Looks like we're gonna have to do this the right way."

During a brief montage, Lincoln and Clyde start cleaning up the mess in the room. But even with all that, the disc is still nowhere to be found.

"Well that's it then," Lincoln sighed. "We've cleaned everything up and still nothing. And we only have a few hours left."

"Maybe somebody in the house borrowed it."

"Let's split up and ask everyone."

* * *

Downstairs, Lynn is downstairs arguing with Lori. "I'm not gonna ask you again, Lynn! Where's my phone charger?"

"Lori I told you! I don't know! Besides, I don't have time for this. I'm supposed to go play badminton with my friends and I can't find the balls or my racquet."

"Lynn, badminton doesn't have balls."

"What? I'm not playing a game with no balls in it!"

Lincoln came downstairs. "Guys! This is important! Did either of you borrow _the best DVD in the world_ from me and Clyde?"

"What?" Lynn asked. "No way! That movie stinks like eggs."

"Besides, we've literally got better things to do than waste time watching silly movies," Lori answered.

"Ugh! Thanks for nothing." Lincoln ran off.

"You're welcome for nothing," Lynn taunted.

In the oldest sister's room, Leni is in her closet searching for something. "Now where did I put my winter hat?"

Just then Clyde came in. "Leni! Did you borrow _the best DVD in the world_?"

"DV-what?"

"Never mind."

Seconds later, Lincoln is asking Lana who is trying to fix the air vent. "Sorry bro. I haven't seen your dumb movie. I have my own problems. Like the extension cord for my drill I can't find, and this vent keeps making a weird rattling sound. I think we might have rats. If we find any, Bitey sure could use a playmate."

"Guys." Lucy pops up, scaring both of them. "Have either of you seen my notebook? I have some new ideas for my poems."

"Sorry Lucy," Lincoln says. "But have you seen _the best DVD in the world_?"

"No. That movie was terrible."

Just then the rest of the other girls came in. "Dudes, I think we might have a thief in our house," Luna said.

"So wait!" Lincoln interjected. "All of you guys are missing something?"

"Apparently," Lana confirms. "Clearly someone's been taking our things. Lori's phone charger, Leni's winter hat, Luan's microphone, Luna's bass amp, Lucy's notebook, Lynn's badminton racquet, my extension cord, Lola's tiaras, Lisa's magnifying glass, even Lily's blanket. What kind of sick individual would take this stuff?"

"Okay, obviously it can't be any of us since we're all missing something. So we'll just have to keep an eye out. How about this? You guys let me know if you find _the best DVD in the world_ and I'll let you guys know if I find any of your stuff. Deal?"

"Deal."

* * *

Lincoln went back into his room with Clyde, but it appears to be in a bigger mess than it was before. "Aw what?!"

"How can this be?" His best friend asks. "We weren't even here!"

"Great! Just great! Now we have to clean it all up again! This is all your fault, Clyde!"

"What?! How is it my fault!?"

"It was your idea to rent _the best DVD in the world_!"

The two boys then heard something in the air vent in the ceiling. The vent opened up and out popped a little dwarf with a fanny pack. "Did you say ' _the best DVD in the world_ '?"

"Yeah?"

The dwarf pulls the video out from the fanny pack. "That's my favorite movie."

"Dude! That's ours! We need it back!"

"Well you're not getting it!"

"Give it back!"

"No!" The dwarf escapes into the air vent and the boys go in after him. The duo follow him through the ventilations. Meanwhile, Lana is in the basement when she hears the rattling in the system.

"I'm gonna need a bigger cage."

The boys continue to follow until they both end up in a secret cave under the Loud House, where they find a lot of the things the Louds were looking for.

"Hey, that looks like Lynn's badminton racquet!" Clyde spotted.

"And that's Leni's winter hat!" Lincoln confirms.

Just then they spotted a television with DVD cover on top. They opened it only to find out that it's completely empty. "It's not in there!"

"Where is it?"

The two best friends then hear lightning sounds followed by a voice echoing. _"Get out of my lair!"_

"Show yourself!" Lincoln demands.

"Yeah! Give us back the video!"

 _"NEVER! I'll never give you the best DVD in the world! It's my favorite!"_

"It's not even yours! Give it back!"

" _You don't deserve it! I saw you throw it away!"_

"That's only because it's awful!" Lincoln clarifies.

"We still want it back!"

" _Make me!"_ The room turns pitch black. Moments later, a desk lamp turned on revealing a handmade book held together with staples sitting on a desk (which also happened to be right next to Lucy's notebook). " _See? I'm a published author, and I think it's amazing!"_

"Dude, you just stapled this together yourself."

"Nobody's gonna read that."

" _For gaining readership!"_

"Whatever," Lincoln groaned. "I bet this is the only copy."

" _But look at the art I painted inspired by it."_ 3 lights came on revealing artwork on the wall (which looks like it was done by 2 year olds). _"This is me and the best DVD in the world, this is me pointing at it, and here's one of what I think the Bahamas look like. What do you think of that?"_

"Maybe consider taking some art classes?" Lincoln suggests.

 _"I don't care what you have to say! Art is quite difficult to perfect, you know! You can't just come into my lair and criticize me or my tastes! Now prepare to meet your….doom?"_

Clyde had found a light switch nearby and turned it on. The light revealed the little dwarf wearing Lily's blanket as a cape and one of Lola's tiaras, talking into Luan's microphone while standing on Luna's bass amp being powered by Lana's extension cord.

"Luan's microphone? Luna's bass amp? Lana's extension cord?" Lincoln says with surprise. "So you're the one who's been taking all our stuff!"

"Yeah well…..so what if I have?"

"Just give it up pal! It's over!" Clyde stepped in. "Just give us back the disc!"

"No!"

"Look at yourself!" Lincoln intervened. "You're going crazy over a stupid video that's not even any good!"

"No! You're lying! It is good! This little disc is everything to me and if I can't have it, no one can!" A fire then started and the dwarf then attempted to throw it into it.

"No! If we don't return it, we'll lose our video store membership!"

The dwarf stopped for a second. "Video store?"

"Yep. It's a magical place filled with videos. And they're all better than that one."

"What? Haven't you read the title?"

"They just put that on a lame DVD to get people to rent it."

"Quiet! I won't let you guys trick me!"

"I know you really love that video. We love videos too. We've seen hundreds of them. And that's one of the worst."

"Then everything I know is a lie?"

"There's a whole world of DVDs out there for you to see. But you're never gonna get to see it if you don't keep an open mind. Haven't you ever wondered what it's like outside your cave?"

The dwarf then realized that Lincoln was right. "It's true. Sometimes I do wonder what the outside world is like."

"If you come with us, we'll show you. But first you gotta give us back the DVD, and you have to return all the stuff you stole from my sisters."

"Very well." The dwarf then looked at the disc in his possession. "Well old friend, we've had a good run, but now it's time for you to go back to where you came from. And don't you worry about old Percy McSwitcharoostein Packrat Esquire."

"So you're saying that you're full name is Percy McSwitcharoostein Packrat Esquire?"

"Uh-Huh."

The boys began to snicker at the mention of his full name.

* * *

Back in the kitchen, all the girls heard a rattling noise coming from the vent. They look up to the ceiling and see the ventilation door open. Out popped all the stuff they were looking for.

"Hey, my extension cord!" Lana shouts. "I've been looking everywhere for this!"

"And there's my base amp!"

"And my notebook!"

"Bwankie!"

Just then, Lincoln, Clyde and Percy fell out too.

"Lincoln! Clyde! You found your movie!"

"And I see you caught our thief as well," Lynn confronts Percy.

"Oh sorry." Lincoln introduces their new friend. "Everyone, this is Percy. He didn't mean to take your stuff. He's just a little lonely because he hasn't gotten to see the outside world for himself. And he just needed something to keep him entertained. Isn't that right, Percy?"

"Yes. I'm really sorry I took your stuff. I just hope you can forgive me."

"WHY YOU LOUSY LITTLE—!" Lola was about to tackle Percy, but Lana stopped her.

"Let it go, Lola."

"No worries dude," Luna said. "We forgive you."

"Yeah," Leni agrees. "We're just glad to have our stuff back."

"And thank you for finding them little bro," Lori said. "You too Clyde."

"I got a thank you from Lori!" Clyde thought to himself.

"No problem girls," Lincoln said. "Now if you'll excuse us, we have a very important appointment to make."

* * *

Back at the video store, the employee gave Lincoln and Clyde their membership card back. "Well Thanks for returning the video hombres. Here's your card back. And here's one for you." The man handed Percy a membership card with his name on it.

"What's this for?"

"It's a membership card," Lincoln answered. "With that, you can rent any video you want."

Percy didn't know what to say. He was so happy that he started roaming around the store, looking through the aisles before finally returning to the front counter.

"So what would you like to rent, Little Dude?"

"I would like the best DVD in the world."

* * *

And that's that.

 **Now I know what you're thinking. But don't worry, just a few more stories and then comes the Halloween one.**


	37. Chocolate Donuts

**Based on the _Chowder_ episode _Burple Nurples._**

* * *

The story begins with 2 young boys. One is a young mechanic with a green hat backwards named Skippy, the other is a more classy blonde named Winston. The two boys are on the sidewalk selling soft pretzels on a stand.

One of their customers took a bite out of one and was incredibly impressed. "Young men, these soft pretzels of yours are absolutely scrumptious!"

"Why yes we know," Winston replies. "We made them ourselves."

"Well aren't you two professional."

"Thank you for your patronage. Always a pleasure."

As the customer leaves, the boys spotted the two Loud twins.

"Hi Lola!" Winston waves.

"Hi Lana!" Skippy waves back.

"Hey Skippy!" Lana greeted.

"Hey Winston!" Lola greeted as well. "What you guys doing?"

"Oh you know. Just a little business project we came up with," Winston answers. "We figured it'd be time for us to spread our wings."

Lana was confused. "You guys have wings?"

Skippy chuckles at that remark. "No Lana. What he meant was we decided to cook a dish all on our own."

"On your own?" Lola asked. "I sure wish we could do that."

"Can we try one?" Lana tried to reach for one, but ended up getting slapped on the hand by Winston.

"No! But you can buy one. We're selling them for $2 each. Of course for you two, there's a special boyfriend-girlfriend discount."

Lola got the idea as Winston gave her a kiss. However, Lana looks on with disgust.

"Uh…...could we just settle for a high five instead?" She suggested.

"Sure thing Lans," Skippy chuckles as the two engaged in a high five.

* * *

Moments later, Lola and Lana were walking home enjoying the soft pretzels they just bought. "Boy, these pretzels are off the hook," Lana said.

"Yeah," her twin agrees. "Imagine if we had a pastry stand like that. We could make a fortune!"

"Yeah!" Lana cheers, but then realized something. "But even if we could, what kind of pastry could we make?"

"Not to worry dear twin. Because I know just the person who can help."

* * *

Back at the Loud house, Lincoln is at the dining room table reading a comic when the twins came in.

"Hey big brother," Lola says sweetly. "How are you doing this fine day?"

"What do you want?"

"What? What makes you think we want something? We just wanted to check in on our favorite brother."

Lincoln wasn't buying it. "What do you want?"

The twins gave up. "Alright! You caught us," Lana said. "Remember when you were trying to make those chocolate pies and then tried to sell them at your school?"

"Unfortunately yes."

"Well," Lola chimes in. "We were maybe thinking of making something that we could sell to the kids in the neighborhood."

"And why do you need my help?"

"We were hoping you could give us advice on what to make," Lana answered.

"I don't know guys."

"Come on Lincoln. All you have to do is help us find a good recipe. That's it. We can do the rest."

"Yeah, I still don't think so. You guys might want to get a few more years under your belt."

"What does that even mean?"

"It means that the answer is no. Besides, you guys can get a little too competitive."

The twins are then left alone to think. "Well now what are we supposed to do?" Lola complains.

"Lola," her tomboyish twin said. "If there's anything I've learned from you, it's to never give up. Especially when it comes to asking for favors. Looks like we're going to need our secret weapon."

"You mean…..?"

"Yep. Operation: cuteness."

Lincoln resumes back to his reading when he felt a light tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see the twins began staring at him with their puppy dog eyes.

"Linky," Lola asked. "Could you please help us?"

"Please?" Lana begged. "Pleeeease?"

"Guys I told you," Lincoln answered. "I just don't think this is a good idea."

"Please?"

"No guys."

"Pleeeeease?"

"No."

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…."

The twins kept on begging. So much so that they could even be heard from atop the stairs. Despite that, Lincoln still refuses to change his mind. "Lola? Lana?" The Twins are still begging. "Really guys, you can't keep that up forever."

"...eeeeeeeee-Yes we can-eeeeeeeeeee….."

"You're not gonna change my mind."

"...eeeeeeee-but we both saw Skippy and Winston doing it-eeeeeeeee…."

"Ugh. I should've known," Lincoln muttered to himself. "Why am I not surprised?" He then turned towards the girls. "Alright guys. I'll help. I think dad might have some cookbooks in the attic."

Lola stopped. "Thanks Linky!" However, Lana was still begging. "Lana, did you hear that? Linky's gonna help us."

"...eeeeeee-Woo-hoo!-eeeeee…" Lana cheers but was still begging.

"You can stop now."

"...eeeeeeee-wish I could but I'm stuck-eeeeeeee…."

* * *

Later, the trio is in the attic looking for cookbooks.

"Okay, let's find you guys a nice easy recipe." As Lincoln is searching through, he suddenly gets hit constantly in the back of the head with books. Which is a result of Lola and Lana searching on their own.

"I like this one!" Lana pulls out a book with an open page.

"So do I!" Her twin agreed.

However, the recipe in the book looked too complicated. "How about this instead?" Lincoln opened the book to a much simpler recipe. "Apple on a stick."

"But that's too easy," Lola complained. "Our wings won't soar."

"Yeah," Lana agrees. "And no offense, but a simple 2-step recipe doesn't exactly say 'professional'."

"Where do you keep coming up with this stuff?" Lincoln groaned.

"What was the first recipe you ever made?" Lola asked.

"Apple on a stick!"

"Okay well after that," Lana continues.

"Well I made chocolate donuts. But I think that might be a little too advanced."

"I wanna make chocolate donuts!" Lola shouts.

"Yeah!" Lana agrees. "Let's make chocolate donuts!"

"Chocolate donuts! Chocolate donuts!"

The twins were so excited that they started celebrating. Including heel clicking…..

"Chocolate donuts! Chocolate donuts!"

…...running up and down the stairs….

"Chocolate donuts! Chocolate donuts!"

At one point they were even in Lisa's room. "What are you doing here?" The young genius exclaimed.

* * *

Later, the twins are in the kitchen. Lola was reading the recipe out of the book while Lana was busy cooking. Lincoln was supervising.

"Okay," Lola read. "Gently crack one egg."

"Got it!" Lana took out an egg and threw it against the wall. "That was easy."

Lincoln was apparently not pleased. "Um….guys?"

"Got it covered bro," Lana assures. "What's next Lols?"

"Okay, next: add a cup of sugar."

Lana took out a cup of sugar and poured it into her mouth.

"To the bowl, Lana," Lincoln corrected.

Lola took out another cup of sugar and poured that one into the bowl. She then went back to the book. "Now introduce two sticks of butter."

Lana took out two sticks of butter. "Mr. Butter, meet Mrs. Butter." Lana rubbed the two sticks of butter together making it seem like they were kissing, before tossing them aside.

"Um…..guys." Lincoln tries to intervene.

"We know what we're doing Linky," Lola says.

"Yeah," Lana adds. "You're getting worked up over nothing. Geez Louise."

"Alright, What's next?"

Lana walked right over to the book. "Hmmm…...boring." She said as she tore out a page. "Boring, boring, boring, boring, boring." Lana kept tearing out pages until she saw one that caught her eye. "Ooooo! Add lots of vanilla extract! Well how about that!"

The twins ran up to the cabinet to get the last ingredient. Lana held Lola up on her shoulders while the latter tried to reach for the top shelf.

"Now guys," Lincoln warned. "Make sure you grab the right one."

"Linky we can handle this. You have to have faith in us." However Lola wasn't paying attention and accidentally grabbed a jar of poison that was right next to the vanilla extract.

Lincoln was shocked. "Poison?"

"We're just making chocolate donuts. What are you so worried about?" Lana was unintentionally adding the poison to the concoction.

"It's just that…"

"It's just what?"

"It's just…...just….."

"What?!" The twins then put the donuts into the oven.

"But…...but….."

"Okay," Lana declares. "I see what's going on. You don't trust us."

"What?"

"It's obvious. You don't think we can do this ourselves. You just want to prevent us from spreading our wings."

"What?! No! That's not—!"

"Save it, Lincoln! We come here asking for help and all you can do is criticize us? I thought you were better than that. You know what I think? I think you're just jealous!"

"Jealous?"

"You heard me! You're just jealous that we're going to become a success! And you're just gonna be nothing more than our brother!"

"Guys I—." Lincoln is interrupted by a timer ding.

"Donuts are done!" The twins took the donuts out of the oven.

"Better try one." Lana was about to bite into one when Lincoln slaps it right out of her hand. It landed on the floor and right next to Charles, who then sniffed it before running away in fear. "Lincoln! What are you doing?"

"Oh! I…..uh….just wanted you to…..uh…...save as many as you can!" The solo Loud brother lied. "For the customers!" The twins then looked confused. "I mean they look so good! So delicious and so not deadly poisonous!"

Lola was a little suspicious, but bought it anyway. "Okay."

"Come on Lola! Let's get to work! We don't want to keep our customers waiting." The twins both headed outside leaving Lincoln alone.

"Dang it! Why would someone even put that poison in the spice cabinet in the first place?"

Just then a huge gang of rats came into the kitchen.

"Oh yeah. That's why. They should really put better labels on those. Oh, what am I gonna do? If people eat those donuts, they're gonna become sick and die. But if no one buys any, Lola and Lana's self esteem will be crushed." Lincoln then got an idea. "Unless…"

* * *

Outside in the front yard, the twins are setting up a stand. "Now all we have to do is wait for customers."

"Allow me," Lola stepped in. As soon as she sees someone walking by, she immediately screamed at the top of her lungs. "CHOCOLATE DONUTS!" However her shouting only made that person run away. She then saw someone else and shouted again. "CHOCOLATE DONUTS!" Just like last time, that person walked away.

Lincoln was hiding from behind the house disguised as a yodeler. He then walked over to the stand. "Oh, what do we have…..?"

"CHOCOLATE DONUTS!" Lola's shrieking made Lincoln startle.

"We made them ourselves," Lana claims.

"Well in that case, I'll take the whole dozen." Lincoln says as he scooped them up in his arms.

"That'll be $25," Lola says.

Lincoln was quite surprised. "Why are they so expensive?"

"It's called business bub. Don't blame me, blame the system."

"It's best not to argue with her," Lana shrugged.

Lincoln reaches into his pocket. "Well I've only got $20."

"Okay," Lana whispers. "Don't tell Lola but I'm willing to throw in a couple for free." Lana winked as she took the money.

"How generous of you. Now if you don't mind, I'll be taking those. See ya!" Lincoln took all the donuts and ran off.

"Wait good sir!" Lola stopped him. "Don't you want to taste them?"

"Uh…...you know? I happen to be a donut connoisseur, and I can tell just by looking at them that these are the finest quality donuts I will ever taste in my life. Great work girls."

"Oh wow!" Lana said with surprise. "A real donut connoisseur!"

"You have to taste them!" Lola added.

"Yeah! You have to rate the donuts!"

Lincoln saw the desperate look on both the twins' faces. "Well go on."

Lincoln was still pretty hesitant. On one hand, if he ate it, he would most likely suffer from severe food poisoning. But on the other hand, if he didn't, both the twins would be crushed. He knew what he had to do. "Okay! I'm eating it. See?" Lincoln wasn't actually eating it. Instead he just took the donut and put it back in his handful from behind his head, making it seem like he ate it. "Mmmmm. That's delicious. Can't wait to go home and eat the rest."

"Glad you like them."

"Yeah! Now it will be easier to sell the other 5 dozen!" Lana held out a plate with more donuts, which makes Lincoln more nervous.

* * *

In Lori's room, the oldest sister is on her bed, when Lincoln barges in. "Hey Lori. How's my favorite oldest sister doing?"

"What do you want, twerp?"

"How'd you know I was gonna ask for something?"

"Because you literally always follow 'how's my favorite whatever sister doing' with a desperate plea for something. So what is it?"

"Alright, listen I need a favor! Remember your work bonus? Well I need to borrow it. I promise I'll pay you back as soon as I can. Don't ask me any questions!"

"I do have one."

"Yes the twins are involved."

"Fine." Lori hands Lincoln the money. "You owe me by the end of the month."

* * *

Back outside, Lindsey Sweetwater stops by the twins' stand. "Well, well, well. If it isn't miss Lola Loud. Haven't seen you since the Little Miss Prim and Perfect Twin Pageant."

"In case you've forgotten Sweetwater," Lola says sarcastically. "we won that prize fair and square."

"Oh how typical. You think you're better than me at everything. In fact I'm surprised you got your twin to help out with this too. Even though the only pastries she can make are mud pies."

"Hey!" Lana argues. "Leave my personal interests alone! Although I do make the best mud pies."

"Look Lindsey!" Lola argued back. "Why don't you just skedaddle? We've got a lot of customers waiting." Ironically, the space around the girls is completely deserted.

"Well let them wait. I have to buy one just to prove how repulsive they truly are."

"Okay, that'll be $5 dollars."

"Boy that's a lot of money. They better be putrid."

Lindsey was about to eat a donut, just as Lincoln came here with another disguise. "Do not eat that donut!" He said in a thick French accent.

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Because…...because….it is calling out to me! I need that exact donut! Tell you what. I'll give you $5."

"$20!"

"What is it with you kids?" Lincoln pulls out more money from his pocket. "I'll give you $10."

"$30!"

"$15."

"$40."

"Sacré bleu! $25."

"$55."

"$30."

"$65."

"$35."

"$800,000,000!" Lana joined in.

"Stay out of this!" Lincoln snapped. "$35."

"$100!"

"WHAT?! That's highway robbery!" Lincoln then gave up and took out the money. "Alright fine. Here you go. $100. Now give me that donut!" Lincoln then took the donut and ran off.

However Lindsey still had a smug grin on her face. "I think I might need another donut. Here's $5."

Lincoln came back with the same disguise. "$10."

"$300!"

"Oh you are such a little devil child!"

Moments later, Lincoln has a plate full of a load of donuts, while Lindsey was sitting on top of a huge bag of cash. "Thank you! Come again!" The twins said.

"Well it cost every cent I had," Lincoln claimed. "But at least I got all the—."

"Chocolate donuts!" Turns out the twins had even more. "Get your fresh hot chocolate donuts!"

"Oh for the love of fiddlesticks!"

* * *

Back in the house, the rest of the girls are watching tv in the living room, when Lincoln came in through the front door. "Guys!"

"Let me guess, you literally need more money? Sorry but no."

"Dang Lori. You're always one step ahead of everything. And why not?"

"Because we don't have any more money to forgive you," Luna answers.

"Did you spend all your extra money on your hobbies again?"

The girls nodded.

"Dang it."

"I hate to intrude elder brother," Lisa states. "But does this by any chance include our semi-identical siblings in some way shape or form?"

"If you mean the twins are involved, then yes. Now what am I supposed to do?"

"You're the man with the plan," Lynn stated. "You figure it out."

"Fine. I was hoping I wouldn't have to resort to this."

* * *

Back outside.

"CHOCOLATE DONUTS!"

Lincoln came back once again, this time dressed as his female counterpart Linka. "Oh I simply love chocolate donuts. Care to give a free sample to a pretty young girl?"

"Sure," Lana assures. "Do you know one?"

"Can't give a free sample to a white haired girl?"

"Sorry toots," Lola says. "White haired girls have to pay."

Lincoln paused for a moment, before finally taking the plate of donuts and running away.

"Hey missy! You owe us $300!" The twins ran after.

"I've got to dispose of these donuts!"

"Stop thief!"

Lincoln kept on running. Along the way, he passed by the public bathroom. "A toilet? No! That's the first place Lana would look! Better keep looking!"

Lincoln ran off again and the twins followed. But Lola stopped in front of the public bathroom. "Oh good! A bathroom. Excuse me a minute." Lola went in and shut the door while Lana waited. Moments later, Lola came back out. "Okay I'm good." And the twins went back to chasing.

As Lincoln was still running, he spotted a sign that said 'you are now leaving Royal Woods'. "The city limits? No! That's the first place Lola would look!" Lincoln ran off and the twins followed him into the city junkyard. Once in there he spotted a large incinerator into the distance. "I know what I gotta do! The donuts must go into the fire!"

Lincoln ran towards the furnace and the twins followed. Unfortunately, Lola started lagging behind. "Time out! Not used to running!" Eventually she went back to running.

Lincoln reaches the furnace and took one last look and saw the twins watching in horror. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Nooooooooo!"

The twins tried desperately to stop it but it was too late. The donuts went into the incinerator and a huge fire came out of it. Fortunately, the fire didn't hurt the kids but the heat did burn off Lincoln's disguise, revealing who that thief really was.

"Lincoln? Where'd that thieving white-haired girl go?"

"Guys," Lincoln sighed. "That thieving girl was me. You see, there's another person inside of all of us. And sometimes when we let them take over, we end up doing things we're not proud of. But if there's one thing I am proud of, it's you. Well technically that's two things but anyway, I'm proud at both of you. Because you're always so determined to prove yourselves worthy. And you proved to me that everything I believed about you was right."

"Wow! That's really nice of you to say," Lana said. "But why'd you throw the donuts into the furnace?"

"Oh, because of the poison."

"The what?"

"Oh never mind. Let's just go home."

As Lincoln started walking, Lola then turned to her twin. "So you knew those people were…."

"Lincoln in disguise?"

"Uh-Huh."

"Yep."


	38. Give a big hand for that one

**Now here's the _Loud House_ version of the _Chowder_ episode _Creme Puff Hands_.**

* * *

The Louds were all together cleaning up in the kitchen, when suddenly…..

"CREAM PUFFS!" Lola came rushing in through the kitchen.

"Lola, what is it?" Lincoln asked. "What's wrong?"

"I need cream puffs! Me! Moi!"

Her siblings don't respond.

"I'm hungry!"

Still no response.

"NOW!"

"Guys," Lana intervenes. "I think we better give her what she wants. She's in a mood."

"I literally hate when she's in a mood," Lori stated.

"Quit talking and hurry!" Lola shouts. "If I don't get cream puffs right now, I'm gonna die!"

"That's highly illogical," Lisa explains. "Technically speaking, the average person can survive a total of three weeks without food consumption."

Lola just ignores the fact and then fainted on the kitchen floor.

"Sheesh," Lincoln groaned. "Since when is she this dramatic?"

"Only when she's really hungry," Lana answered.

"Alright everyone," Lori ordered. "We've got a crisis on our hands! If it's cream puffs that Lola wants, it's cream puffs she's gonna get! Leni! Go get the flour!"

"You got it!" Leni runs off and comes back with a bouquet of flowers.

"Leni, those are _flowers_."

"Yes."

"We need _flour_."

"Yes."

"The kind used for cooking."

"Yes."

"The flour we need is powdery."

Leni scrunches the flowers up into powder.

"No, the kind of flour you mix with stuff…..usually eggs….. and stuff."

"Yes."

Everyone face palmed. Lola started fainting again.

"Lola's fainting! We don't have time for this!"

"Flour?" Leni pulls out a chicken which makes the others frustrated.

"Oh for the love of—do I have to do everything myself?!" Lori opened up the cupboard, and took out a sack of flour.

"Oh." Leni ran over to the cupboard and got a sack of flour, but ended up spilling it all over the entire kitchen. "Hey guys! I found the flour."

"Thanks Leni," Lori sighs. "Can you please just get the batter started?"

"You got it." Leni looked over the cookbook. "Two egg whites? But they're all white." Leni dumped the whole carton of eggs into the batter.

"Cream puffs!"

"Guys, Lola's losing patience!" Lori ordered. "Hurry up!"

"Was that supposed to be one dash of salt, or one dish?" Leni poured the entire little dish of salt into the batter.

"Leni, we have to hurry! We're running out of time!"

"Not to worry siblings. I have prepared for such a momentous occasion." Lisa ran out of the kitchen and came back with a huge machine. "May I present the Cream Puffinator!"

"Really Lisa?" Lincoln sighed. "That's what you're calling it?"

"What do you expect? It's so much difficult coming up with names for new inventions these days! Anyways, this creation of mine can produce multiple cream puffs within a matter of seconds."

"Oh cool!" Lana hopped onto the conveyor belt to get a better look at the machine. "How does it work?"

"Quite simple. The batter goes in, cream puffs come out. However I must caution you to stay off the conveyor belt. The effects the machine has on a human is absolutely unpredictable." However, unknown to her, Lisa accidentally rested her arm on the lever that activated the machine. "Dang it!"

Soon the machine started shaking, the gears were turning, the springs were decompressing and the conveyor belt started rolling, but Lana was still standing on it. Before she could get off, she went right into the machine and came out the other end. Unfortunately, her right arm was still stuck in the machine. "Guys! Help! I'm stuck!"

Lana was unable to get her arm free, so everyone else gathered right behind her and held onto her. They all started pulling at the same time, but when Lana's arm came out, her right hand was as big as the machine.

"Holy Heisenberg!" Lisa said with surprise. "That machine filled your hand with cream!"

"I can fix it! I'll just stick it back in!" Lana tried sticking her hand back into the machine, but then ended up knocking it out the window creating a giant hole.

"My Puffinator!"

"I'll get it back!" Lana tried to, but instead made the hole even bigger. "Dang it."

"Lynn!" Lori ordered. "Take care of that hand!"

"With pleasure!" Lynn grabbed her baseball bat and started charging towards her, but Lana moves her hand again which knocked Lynn into a wall.

"Oops."

"Cream puffs….." Lola started crawling over feeling weak.

"We're working on it Lola." But once again, Lana's hand gets in the way and knocks her twin into another wall.

"That's it! That hand is nothing but trouble!" Lori starts chasing Lana around the house, while her giant hand was hitting the wall, breaking it in the process. "Get out of here before you…" before Lori could finish her sentence, the ceiling falls down and everything collapsed. "...wreck everything."

"Oh man!" Lincoln says with worrisome fright. "If mom and dad see the house like this, we are so grounded!"

"It's okay," Lana assures. "I can help. I am a _hand_ yman after all. Get it?"

"Good one Lans," Luan chuckles before giving a stern look. "But seriously, I think you've helped enough."

"What do you mean?"

"What she means is that big hand of yours did more wrecking than fixing," Lynn clarified.

"It's a monstrosity," Lucy adds.

"I didn't mean to wreck everything. It was an accident."

"Sorry Lana, but we can't afford any of your help," Lincoln says. "You'll just have to come back later when your hand is back to normal."

"But guys!"

"No buts!" Lori says sternly.

"So does that mean I can't have a big hand or a but?"

"No Lana. It means that until your hand isn't big anymore, get your butt out of here!"

"But!"

"No more buts! Just go!"

With that, Lana just left out the door with tears in her eyes, dragging her oversized hand along with her.

* * *

Elsewhere in Royal Woods, Lana is still depressed. When suddenly a baby is crawling around in a nearby window sill, and then fell. But luckily, it landed safely on Lana's oversized hand.

"Oh my gosh!" The mother congratulated. "You saved my baby's life!" Everyone was cheering. "You're a hero, little girl!"

Lana was a little confused. "I am?"

"That hand of yours is truly amazing!"

"It is?"

"One might even say helpful!"

"Did you say….helpful?"

In a sudden alarm. "Oh no! A tour bus is heading straight for that old lady!"

Thinking quickly, Lana stood in front of the crosswalk and used her giant hand as an airbag to stop the bus. "Those are some pretty mighty hands, little girl," the driver compliments while everyone cheered again.

"Hey! Maybe this hand isn't such a monstrosity after all. Maybe it makes me HELPFUL!"

All throughout that day, Lana went around doing good deeds all over Royal Woods. Including fixing the leak in the dam.

"Super helpful!"

Using it as an umbrella.

"Incredibly helpful!"

Even catching a foul ball.

"Hooray for helpful!"

Later, Lana is standing right next to tile of wet cement.

"Lana, you're hand has been so helpful, we'd be honored to have it immortalized in cement."

"I'd be honored to have you honor my hand."

"Well we're honored to hear that you're honored that we're honoring your hand."

"Well I'm honored that you're honored that I'm honored that you're honored that I'm honoring my hand." But just as they kept saying that over and over, Lana's hand started to shrink. The crowd was shocked. "I know, my hand is pretty awesome, right?"

"It's deflated!"

"What?"

"Ew, I can't immortalize that. Be gone!"

"Be gone?"

"Be gone!"

Lana looks to her hand to see that it did shrink. "My hand! I'm sorry I let everybody down, again!" With that, she ran back home.

* * *

Lana bashes right through the front door. "Guys, my hand!"

"Oh hey Lana," Lincoln greeted. "Yes, your hand looks normal again. Welcome back."

"Not now, Lincoln! I need more puff!" Lana hopped onto the conveyor belt and prepared to stick her hand into the machine to inflate it, but Lisa flips the reverse switch.

"Not so fast! I just repaired that contraption and I'm not about to let you break it again."

"But I need to puff up my hand again so that I can be helpful! It's for the good of humanity." Lana flips the switch making the conveyor belt move forward.

"Forget it." Lisa pulls the switch back making it go in reverse.

"Let go of the switch Lisa!"

"I'm not gonna let you damage the machine again!"

"Well I need my hand to be big again!"

"Let go!"

"No you let go!"

"Let go!" The two girls were holding onto the switch at the same time and broke it. Lana then went into the machine and came out the other end, with her hand reinflated.

"Welcome back, hand! I've missed you!" Lana then ran out the door as her siblings watched. "I'm gonna help the whole city!"

"Something tells me that girl is gonna be in big trouble," Lincoln said worried.

"Lincoln," said Lucy. "There's an old saying. Bigger is better, but it's not necessarily true. In fact in most cases, it can only lead to big problems. And some problems can get too big."

"You know Lucy, I never noticed before, but your words do make a lot of sense."

* * *

Unfortunately, Lana's hand turned out to be too big and began causing more harm than good. Including wrecking the buildings, causing the dam to burst flooding the city and overall just getting in the way. It got so bad that everyone ran away and hid in fear.

"Anyone need any help? Hello? Anyone need help? Yoo-hoo!" Lana looks around but there's no one in sight. "Well I guess we've helped everyone in Royal Woods. Now to help the rest of the world! But it looks like we're gonna have to make you a lot bigger to do that! Eh, Mr hand? High five!" Lana high fives her own hand and immediately ran back to the house only to be stopped by her brother.

"Hold it right there, missy! Where do you think you're going?"

"Puffinator! Puffinator!"

"Lana, I'm worried this whole hand thing has become a real problem." Lincoln lowers his hand only to see that his sister has gone power mad.

"I wanna help the world!" Lana's voice started sounding more raspy than usual, which was starting to scare Lincoln.

"Ah! Lana! Look at what you've become! That hand must be deflated!"

"The hand deflates for no one!" Despite her sisters trying to stop her, Lana went right into the machine and Lincoln followed.

"LINCOLN! NO!"

Lana came out the other side with her hand being slightly bigger. She then laughed maniacally and began running off. Soon enough, Lincoln came out too.

"Well at least there's not a scratch on me." Lincoln's sisters then pointed behind him. "What?" Lincoln turned around and to his surprise, his right hand was as big as Lana's. "Dang it." He then began to chase after his sister. "Lana! Get back here!"

"Never!" Lana held out her giant hand in front of her brother. "Talk to the hand, girlfriend!" She said mockingly.

"Lana I'm serious!"

"I can't hear you!"

"Lana!"

"What?"

"Little sis, just listen to me!"

"Here! Let me give you a _hand_!" Lana squeezes Lincoln's hand causing the cream to transfer to his other hand.

"That's quite a _hand_ shake you got there sis! Here's a little _hand_ -me-down for you!" Lincoln slams Lana's hand which caused the cream to transfer to her other hand. "This is for your own good, Lana!"

"Oh yeah? Well a bird in the _hand_ is worth two in the bush!"

"That doesn't even make any sense!" Lana slams Lincoln into a wall with her giant hand. Only this time, the cream transfers all the way to Lincoln's head. "You do realize I'm always one step a _head_ of you!"

"Hey no fair!" Luan complains. "Puns are _my_ shtick! And that's not even a hand joke!"

Lincoln rammed into Lana's hand and the cream went all the way to her cheeks. "Lynn! Lola! Now!"

Lynn stood on top of the dining room table and jumped off. "Geronimo!"

Lola was standing on top of the couch and jumped off at the same time. "Mama want some cream puffs!"

The two girls each landed on Lincoln and Lana's giant cheeks making them swallow, causing the cream to go all the way to their stomachs. After a large burp, both the kids are back to their normal size again.

"Hey!" Lincoln realized. "I'm back to normal. And you too Lana!"

"I am?" Lana carefully observed herself from head to toe.

"I'm not sure if _normal_ is the right word," Lola says.

"I…...I'm….I'm not….helpful anymore!" Lana started bursting into tears after realizing that she was back to her normal self again.

Lincoln tried to comfort her. "Oh Lana, don't cry. You've always been helpful to us."

"I have?"

"Of course you have. You do a lot of great things. You've helped fix the car, the toilet, you even helped your animal friends by giving them a place to stay."

Lana stops crying. "Yeah, I guess I have done great things."

"You see little sis? It's not the size of your hand that matters. It's the size of your _heart_."

"Well, with all that pie I've been eating, my heart should be huge." Lincoln handed Lana an egg and she holds it in her hands. "Yay! I'm helpful yay!" She then squeezes too hard and makes the egg crack. She then looked sad, but Lincoln held a bowl under it.

"Congratulations, Lana! You just helped me again."

"But I just broke that egg."

"We needed that egg broken, for the cream puff batter."

"So I was helpful after all?"

"Absotively posilutely!"

"Yay! I'm helpful! Yay!"

"I'm glad that's over," Lynn sighs.

"Hey, you know I gotta _hand_ it to you," Luan jokes. "We sure _hand_ led that well, wouldn't you say?"

"Uh Luan, could you please not make any more hand jokes? It's too painful." Lana then felt her stomach turn. "I think I'm gonna vomit."

"Ah, don't worry Lans," her twin said. "Hopefully she'll run out of puns soon."

"On the other _hand_ , I might not."

The rest of the kids all groaned as usual.

"What? I can't help it. Don't bite the _hand_ that feeds you."

"LALALALALALALA! I DON'T WANNA HEAR ANY MORE!" Lana covered her ears and started walking away.

"I'm just saying, things really got out of _hand_."

"MAKE HER STOP!"


	39. Sleep wrestler

**And now it's time for a guest request. Based on the _Regular Show_ episode _Sleep fighter_. Just to be clear, I'm not exactly good at doing scenes that involve violence, or at the very least I try to keep it at a minimum. But just know that I did the best I can. Thanks.**

* * *

It's night time in the Loud house. Everyone is asleep in their bed. The scene starts off in the twins bedroom, where the two kids were dreaming.

"Why yes," Lana mumbles in her sleep. "I would love more chocolate, thank you."

"I'm the queen of the universe," Lola muttered.

Just then, the door creaks open and a shadowy figure came in and started jumping on top of Lola, causing her to wake up. "Lynn? What are you doing?" Lynn doesn't answer, but instead she starts wrestling with Lola in her sleep.

Lana then woke up and attempted to stop her, but she ended up getting headbutted while Lola ended up getting kicked into a wall.

* * *

The next morning, all the Louds (sans Lynn and Lori) were sitting on the couch with scars and bruises everywhere. And apparently they were not happy. Just then Lynn came down and saw her siblings glaring at her. "What?"

"You've got a lot of nerve showing up here after what you did last night!" Lola confronts.

However, Lynn was confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't act like you don't know!" Luan retaliated.

"I really don't know!"

"Does this person remind you of anyone?" Lisa held up a smartphone showing a video of Lynn wrestling and beating her siblings up in her sleep. However she didn't seem to recall it.

"I don't remember doing any of that! I don't know what happened!"

"Yeah right!" Lincoln said sarcastically. "You're just messing with us!"

"I'm not! I swear!"

"Well I've got a few bruised ribs because of you!" Luna shouts.

"You wouldn't stop beating me until I pretended to be dead!" Lucy exclaims.

"I haven't been this hurt since that time you bunked in my room!" Lincoln shouts. "I can still smell the Dutch ovens!"

"You even ripped all the dresses I was making!" Leni said with disgust.

"I'm sorry! I really didn't mean any harm!"

Lori came in. "What's going on here?"

"Lynn was wrestling us in her sleep last night!" Lana answered.

"Yeah!" Her twin adds. "She gave us all scars and bruises!"

"Well except for Lily," Lincoln clarifies. "All you did was break her toys."

"Poo-poo!"

"I wouldn't do that! I hate senseless violence! It's one thing playing rough, but I would never hurt you guys on purpose! I seriously can't remember fighting you guys!"

"At this rate, we're all gonna be put in the emergency room!" Luan said. "And that's no joke!"

"Yeah," Lana said. "This is even worse than that sleep eating incident."

"Hey!" Lynn shouts. "We promised we would never speak of that again!"

"We've got to do something about this!" Lincoln said as he put his foot down.

"Excuse me?" Lori asks. "We?"

"Yeah! This is a family situation. Everyone's gotta be onboard."

"This has nothing to do with me. Anything that happens after bedtime is your own problem."

* * *

That night, Lori is asleep in her bed, when Lynn came in and ran to Lori as she woke with surprise. Then everything went to a total blank.

The next morning, Lori woke up as scarred and bruised as her siblings. "Okay this is literally a family situation."

"Yeah it is!" Lincoln stated. "How do you think I feel? The chip in my tooth is even more cracked!"

"And Lola won't go to sleep unless we barricade our bedroom door!" Lana points.

"Sleep in the hallway if you want for all I care! It's your funeral!"

"I don't know what's wrong with me!" Lynn said with confusion. "You know I would never mean to hurt you guys!"

"Well obviously you have no control over your somnambulism," Lisa observes.

"Lisa's got a point," Lucy explains. "You're sleep strength is at least three times more than your normal strength. And none of us are going back to sleep until we can get you to stop. We gotta find out what's causing your problem and face it head on."

"But what if it can't be controlled? Am I just going to be a sleep wrestling freak for the rest of my life?"

"Don't worry Lynn," Lincoln assured. "We'll help you get through this and we won't stop until you're cured."

"Thanks guys, you're the best."

"I believe I have just the solution," Lisa explains. "But first, I have to get myself a fresh pair of glasses." Due to Lynn's sleep wrestling, one of the lenses in Lisa's glasses were completely shattered.

* * *

The siblings are all in the garage later that night. The kids view on a monitor which shows Lynn chained up in her bed just like last time.

"Lynn," Lisa said into the microphone. "Can you hear me?"

" _Loud and clear Lisa."_

"Okay, let's get started."

" _Wait! I understand the chains, but what's with all the cameras? You're not gonna do anything weird, are you?"_

"Negatory. We're just gonna watch you sleep. My monitors can calculate brain waves and analyze your dreams."

"We believe your sleep wrestling is caused by night terrors," Lucy further explains. "If we can find out what kind of dreams you're having, we might be able to cure you."

"But what if I end up breaking free and hurting you guys?"

"Don't worry," Lori reassures. "We pad locked the house from the outside."

"Plus you'd have to get through Lana," Lincoln adds. "And she's wearing a police dog-attack suit."

"As for Lily," Lisa finished. "We've placed her in a highly protective environment." Lily is in a playpen protected by an impenetrable force field.

" _Well, I guess if you insist."_ Lynn begins to fall asleep. At first she is at peace, but later she started fidgeting again.

"I think she's dreaming!" Lincoln says with alarm.

Everyone sees on the monitor that Lynn is moving around and muttering in her sleep.

"Turn up the volume," Lucy ordered.

Lisa turns up the volume so they can hear better.

" _Ugh! No! Get away! Get off me!"_

"Intriguing!"

"Whatever Lynn's seeing, it sure is intense," Lori observers.

Unfortunately, Lynn started to break free from the chains.

"She's breaking loose!" Lincoln shouts.

Lynn pushes the cameras aside and knocks them out, causing the screens to go static. _"I'm gonna turn you into a human pretzel!"_

Lincoln groaned. "Seriously? What is it with you guys and human pretzels?"

Lynn made her way out of the house and towards the garage.

"You're on sis," Lola told Lana.

"Please don't make me do this!" Lana protested.

But it was too late. Lola pushes Lana outside the garage and closes the door. Lynn walked up to Lana and started tackling her. Unfortunately for Lana, the suit doesn't appear to be working. From inside the garage, the kids heard screaming. Lynn then punched right through the garage door and started to attack.

* * *

The next morning, everyone is on the couch groaning with ice packs on their faces.

"Thanks a lot guys," Lana scolds. "For being a bunch of flaking spectators!"

"Oh relax," her twin moaned. "At least you're alive."

"Yeah, but we're all physically scarred! The only one who didn't get hurt is Lily! And she's been in a force field the whole time!"

"I hope we can fix this soon," Leni sighed. "I don't know how much of this I can take!"

"So what's plan B?" Lincoln asked.

"Plan B is saying goodbye to Lynn Loud Jr." Lynn is standing behind with suitcases in her hands.

"What? What are you doing?"

"I can't stay here anymore if I end up hurting you guys. I have no choice but to leave the Loud house forever."

"Lynn! You can't leave! You're our sister!"

"I'm sorry little bro, but as long as I keep fighting in my sleep, you guys are in danger. It's best to just give up while I'm ahead."

"Halt!" Lisa came out (though her glasses were once again shattered). "I have just made a groundbreaking discovery for our predicament. Siblings, follow me!"

* * *

In Lisa's room, the kids were looking on the brainwave monitor. "Based on my observation, I have discovered the reason as to why Lynn is currently going through her struggles. The monitor has picked up essences of her dream as you can see before you." The screen shows a blurry picture. "And now to enhance the resolution." She does so and it's revealed to be a bunch of weird looking creatures.

"Wait a minute! I remember! That's from the last time I was babysitting the Fox quintuplets!" Lynn rememberers happened during a flashback.

* * *

 _The Fox parents are leaving. "We'll be back around Friday night. Are you sure you can handle this Lynn?"_

 _"Relax Mrs Fox. I've dealt with these kids before. You go out and have fun."_

 _"Well alright then. But if you have any problems, just call."_

 _Once the parents leave, the kids started making a ruckus as usual. So Lynn turns on the television and it lands on a show with weird colorful creatures called the lovebuddies. The television show was so cheesy yet so mesmerizing that the kids were silent. "Hold on Mr bad guy! Don't you wanna play?"_

 _"You Lovebuddies stay away from me!"_

 _"Let's show him how to have fun!" The little creatures then gave him a hug. The rest of the show went on showing the Lovebuddies hugging people constantly nonstop. Lynn kept getting creeped out by it, yet she couldn't stop watching._

 _Flashback ends._

* * *

"It was awful! I tried to turn it off, but every time I did, the kids would start making a fuss. They played the marathon for 4 straight days, all 48 seasons with 4,480 episodes back to back. When the Fox's mom came back, I was all curled up on the floor."

Lincoln felt pretty bad. "Sounds like that show messed you up pretty bad."

"That must be what's causing your nightmares," Lori pondered.

"Well how do I get them out of my head?"

"Hey Leni?" Lucy asked. "Do you still have that dream catcher I let you borrow when you were having those giant spider nightmares?"

"Oh of course!" She replies. "There's giant chickens now but it's not as scary."

"In that case, I have a plan."

* * *

We then see Lynn asleep on the couch while the others are holding a giant dream catcher. Lucy is explaining the plan. "Okay, here's how it's gonna go, when I give the word, tilt the dream catcher towards Lynn and it'll draw out her nightmares."

"Oh goodie!" Leni cheers. "Usually I miss this part because I'm asleep."

We then take a look inside Lynn's dream where she's in a colorful playroom. Suddenly she heard the doorknob turn. The door opens and the Lovebuddies come out of it. They began chasing her around the room and Lynn was trying to fight them off.

Back in the living room, Lynn started fidgeting and Lucy gave the signal.

"NOW!"

The kids held the dream catcher up and a bright light came out of it and started removing the creatures from her dream. "It's working!" The light continues to make them come out, but there's so many that it starts to become full.

"Why are there so many?" Luna asked.

"Lynn watch all 48 seasons worth!" Lincoln replies.

"There's too many of them!" Lola struggles.

Eventually the dream catcher gets completely full and breaks to pieces. Now the Lovebuddies are everywhere in the house.

Lucy then ran off and came back with more dream catchers. "Everybody grab one!"

Each of the Louds grab a dream catcher and started capturing the little creatures. All around the entire house, upstairs, downstairs, in the attic and the basement.

"Whoa! Lucy!" Lincoln said in astonishment. "Why do you even have all this stuff?"

"What can I say?" Lucy replies. "When you live in the darkness like me, you start having some pretty crazy dreams."

"Did we get all of them?" Lana asked.

They all heard a stomping noise outside. They all ran out the door and saw a humongous Lovebuddy in their front yard. "Wanna play a game?"

"All except for that one," Lori replies.

"And we're all out of dream catchers!" Lincoln panicked.

"No!" Lucy said. "There's still one more! To the garage!"

* * *

Lucy was searching in the garage and the others spotted a tiny dream catcher inside of Vanzilla hanging on the mirror.

"Lucy!" Lincoln exclaims. "This dream catcher is way too small!"

"I wasn't talking about _that_ dream catcher." Lucy pulled out a gigantic dream catcher from the garage that was being held by a giant catapult.

"Lisa," Lori scolded. "I thought mom and dad said not to make anymore giant medieval weapons!"

"Trust me. You're gonna be glad she disobeyed. On my mark everyone!" The kids got into position, aimed the catapult towards the giant creature and prepared to launch. "FIRE!" The catapult launches the dream catcher into the air. The giant gets sucked into it and the dream catcher falls to the ground.

"WE DID IT!"

"Finally!" Lola said with relief. "I can go back to getting my beauty sleep."

Just then, Lynn awoke from the couch. "Uh…...I just had the weirdest dream. You were in it, and you were in it. You weren't Lincoln."

"Well, looks like you're cured," Lucy said.

"Thanks guys. I'm just glad those things are finally out of my head. I owe you one."

"Don't mention it Lynn," Lori says. "We're just glad you're back to normal."

"Now we can all get some sleep," Lisa said with a yawn.

"But before we do," Leni suggested. "Group hug?"

"Uh…..no thanks Leni," Lincoln replies.

* * *

 **And now that those stories are out of the way, it's time for the moment you've all been waiting for. And to make it even more exciting, I've decided to make it a crossover chapter. I won't say what show it will be just yet, but I will say this. For those who grew up in the 90s, prepare to feel nostalgic.**


	40. Halloween Mix-up

**I know you've all been wanting to see this and here it is. My Halloween story. Now this all started because of a review I got from Imagi after my crossover chapter with _My Life as a Teenage Robot_ , and this person suggested that I do a story that includes the characters from _AAAHH! Real Monsters_! (Klasky-Csupo). Now if I had to be honest, I don't really know much about that show and the only episode I've seen is the first episode _The Switching Hour._ So when I needed more inspiration for this, I looked at other specials such as the _Jimmy Timmy Power Hour_ and the CBS special _Halloween is Grinch Night._ With all that said, hope you enjoy.**

* * *

Lily appears in her high chair, dressed up in a dark cape. "Hello, and welcome to another addition to the Loud House Tales. I'm your hostess, Lily."

Just then, Charles, Cliff, Walt, Geo, Hops and Fangs came in. "And we're your other hosts," the dog added. "The Loud pets."

"Tonight," Lily announces. "We present to you a tale of terror, a frightening fabrication, a horrendous horror fable!"

"You mean a scary story?" Hops asked.

"Yes, I mean a scary story," Lily groans. "And thanks for ruining the mood for me, frog. Anyway, it all took place on a dark and stormy night."

"Well technically," Cliff interrupts. "It wasn't stormy until the very end."

"Fine. Then let's just say it was a dark and windy night."

Then Geo intervened. "Actually It wasn't all that dark either."

"Uh, guys? Could you please let me finish my introduction?"

"Right. Sorry," Charles apologized.

"Ahem. As I was saying, this story involves two little monsters. A metaphorical one and a real one."

"I am a monster!" The pets were all piled up on top of each other wearing a mask and a cloak. "Prepare to be terrified!"

Lily pushes all of them to the side, making them tip over and fall. "Guys will you stop fooling around? We're never gonna get to the story!"

"Relax, Lilster," Walt said. "We were just having fun."

"Plus, like you said," Fangs stepped in. "A monster is involved."

"Indeed it is," Lily resumed. "A bizarre monster, from a bizarre world, full of bizarre rituals."

"Rituals," Geo interrupts again. "With candy!"

"Candy isn't a part of the story!"

"Maybe to you," Cliff retaliated.

Lily is finally fed up with it. "Ugh! Why do I even bother? Tell your own story! I'm done!" Lily crawled away angrily.

"Maybe we went a bit too far," Hops realized.

"Don't worry Hops," Walt reassures. "She'll be fine."

"Yeah," Geo agrees. "We'll apologize once she's cooled off."

"Well that all seems good and all," Cliff reminds. "But we don't want to keep our audience waiting."

"Hey guys!" Fangs asked. "Mind if I finish the intro? I'm good with scary things!"

"Finish away Fangs," Charles approves.

"Thanks!" Fangs looks to the audience. "Ahem! Prepare to be terrified, intimidated, and very nostalgic! As we present Halloween Mix Up!"

* * *

It all began on the night before Halloween. On a dark and slightly windy night. A certain Loud was busy taking out the trash. This Loud was a young tomboyish girl named Lana.

"I honestly don't see why Lincoln complains about this chore. It's actually pretty cool. I wish I could have traded chores with him."

As the young Loud was putting the trash bag out to the curb, she heard something rattling around in the trash can. She opened the lid and what she saw was a shocking surprise. Inside was a little monster eating garbage. It had maroon skin, rabbit-like ears, and a wide mouth. However, Lana wasn't scared, but she slowly closed the lid and headed back into the house.

Instead, her brother Lincoln was sitting on the couch watching television. "Hey, Lana. How'd it go?"

"It was okay. But you're not gonna believe what I saw."

"What? What did you see?"

"There was a monster in the trash can."

"You're right. I don't believe it."

"But I really did see one! It had long ears, sharp claws and it was eating garbage!"

"Lana you know there's no such thing as monsters."

"I know what I saw! Come on, I'll show you!" Lana dragged her brother outside to show him. But when she opened the lid, she found there was no monster. "But…..but…...it was right there! It was a real monster and it was right there!"

"Lana, face it. There was no monster. You probably just saw a possum or something."

"Lincoln! I know what I saw!"

"You're probably just imagining things. Now come back inside. You'll catch a cold out here."

Lincoln went back into the house. Lana closed the lid in discouragement.

* * *

Meanwhile in the woods, the little rabbit-eared creature was heading back to his lair underground. Once there, he meets up with two other creatures. One is a female monster that was shaped like a candy cane with lips and eyes, and the other was a short hairy creature with eyeballs in his hands.

"Ickis!" The female one said. "For goodness sake, where have you been?"

"Guys! You'll never believe what I saw! I was hiding in a trash can and then I was found by this girl! A human girl!"

"A human girl?"

"Yeah! She was kinda short with blonde hair, and she was wearing overalls and a red cap. And when she opened the lid, I could sense the smell of frogs, mud and dirty socks."

"She does sound pretty cool!" The hairy one exclaimed.

"Krumm!" The female scolded. "Aren't you forgetting? We're monsters! We're supposed to scare humans, not socialize with them!"

"Come on Oblina!" Ickis exclaimed. "I came back in one piece, didn't I? Besides, you gotta loosen up a bit."

"Ickis! The Gromble would've snapped his cap if he finds out we disobeyed him! You know how short tempered he can be. May I remind you of what happened last Halloween?"

"I'd rather you didn't."

"Exactly! We don't want a repeat of that night. And unless you want to face his wrath, I suggest we get right back to class!"

"Fine."

Ickis, Oblina and Krumm ran back to their seats. In the room, there was a whole bunch of monsters everywhere in all different sorts. Just then, the boss came in. The leader of all the monsters. The Gromble. The most intimidating of all.

"Hmm…..it's a wonderful night for scaring."

However, no one was listening, which made him very ticked off.

"QUIET!"

Everyone was then silent. "Thank you. As you know, tomorrow is Halloween night and it's gonna be a wonderful night for scaring. It's a wonderful night for fangs. It's a wonderful night for fright night! Oh their troubles will now commence! In light of the incident from last year, I have decided to give you all a second chance to redeem yourselves. You are all free to go out tomorrow night, but Here's the catch! I won't be going easy on you, so you better not do anything that might disappoint me." He then turned to Ickis, Oblina and Krumm. "Especially you three," he glared.

"Don't worry your Grombleness!" Ickis replies. "We have something planned for the night that will really knock your gloves off!"

Later, the three monsters were seen walking out of the room.

"You better have a plan for tomorrow night!" Oblina confronts.

"Relax guys," Ickis reassured. "I've already got it all figured out. Remember that girl I was telling you about? Well tomorrow, we'll stop by her house and give whoever's there a great big scare!"

Krumm was easily impressed. "That does sound interesting."

"Hmm," Oblina pondered. "Wouldn't wanna pass up a perfect opportunity. Very well. We'll go through with it."

* * *

The following night back at the Loud house, the Louds are getting ready for Halloween. While the 5 oldest sisters were out at a Halloween party, Lincoln and his 5 youngest sisters were getting their costumes on. Lucy was dressed as the grim reaper, Lola was a princess, Lisa was dressed as Jimmy Neutron (while Lily was Goddard the robot dog) and Lincoln was dressed as Danny Phantom. As for Lana, she decided to dress up as Ickis.

Her twin was confused however. "And just what are you supposed to be?"

"I decided to be something new this year."

"And what might that be? A rabbit?"

"No! I'm that monster I saw in the trash!"

"You and your crazy beliefs."

Lana stepped out of her room and was spotted by her brother. "Hey Lincoln! Check it out! I made my costume to look like that monster I saw yesterday."

"Lana, as great as I think that costume is, I already told you that monsters aren't real."

"They are too!" Lana argues. "It says here in this magazine that monsters are real!"

"That magazine also says that human-sized meerkat real-estate agents live in hamburger shaped hotels on Mars."

"We're not alone, Lincoln!" She shivers.

"Lana, is this about that monster you think you saw in the garbage can? Cuz I think you're letting your imagination get the better of you."

"Oh sure. You believe in space aliens and ghosts, but you don't believe me when I say there were monsters in the trash?"

"Even if there were monsters, why would they come after us?"

"You never know!"

"Well, anyway, it's time to go."

Lucy pops up from behind. "I wouldn't stay out past 10 if I were you."

"What do you mean, Lucy?" Lincoln asked.

"Would you like me to tell you a story?"

"Does it have monsters in it?" Lana asked excitedly.

"Yes."

Lincoln however was still pretty skeptical. "Is it a true story?"

"As surely as I stand before you tonight, this story is true."

"Alright, I guess we'll give it a listen."

"Have a seat." All the kids took a seat on the couch as Lucy tells her story. "Every year on Halloween night, the midnight wind begins howling. They call it the midnight wind because it stops blowing after midnight. The touch of the wind is more strong than water coming out of a pressure washer, the sound is more fierce than a lion roar, and the taste of it is more sour than a lemon. Whenever that wind begins howling, the raccoons come out of their trees and begin growling. At the same time, bats come swooping down. The flap of their wings causes the Royal Woods pond to start rippling. And that rippling always causes the schnauzers to begin howling at the moon. And that dreadful howling always irritates…...the Gromble! The Gromble gets so uptight, that every night, he goes out with his gang of monsters and have a Halloween ball in the human world. And any human that dare crosses paths with them, will be scared out of their wits."

The two siblings were stunned. "Wow!" Lincoln says sarcastically. "Okay, great story Lucy, but I don't think we have anything to worry about."

"Lincoln, didn't you hear what she said?" Lana asked.

"Oh please, that story's made up and you know it. You're just trying to scare us."

"Say what you want Lincoln," Lucy said. "But you'll regret it."

"Whatever. If you see any monsters, ask if they've seen any unicorn kitten princesses."

With that, the kids went out for trick or treat. Meanwhile at a nearby street close to the woods, the monsters were doing a little exploring of their own.

"So how will we know when we find this house, anyway?" Krumm asked.

"Trust me guys," answered Ickis. "We'll know it when we see it."

"You better be right about this, Icky," Oblina groaned.

"Have I ever steered you wrong?"

"Do I have to answer that?"

"Have a little faith. Sheesh."

Many hours passed. Soon the midnight wind started howling, which made the raccoons start growling and the bats began flying. The pond then began rippling which made the schnauzers howl. Which meant that fright night was on its way.

* * *

Back with the Loud kids, the young ones had quite a haul. But as Lana was busy chewing her gum, she spotted a shadowy figure heading down the street. She immediately recognized it as Ickis. As soon as she noticed, she ran to her brother.

"Lincoln! I saw it! The monster I was telling you about!"

"Lana, what did I say about blaming things on other creatures?"

"To make sure I have photographic evidence?"

"And do you?" Lana held up a crayon drawing. "Okay, first of all, you drew that. Second, you forgot to add my turkey tail."

"Okay, maybe I'm not the best artist, but I know what I saw! Why won't you believe me?" Lana ran off on her own and Lola followed her.

"Lana! Come back!"

But Lana didn't come back. She kept on running. "If Lincoln wants proof! I'll give him proof!" Lana then spotted Ickis jumping into a nearby bush, so she dived right into it to catch him. At first she didn't see him until she turned around and saw two eyes staring straight at her. "Aaaaahhh!"

Lola happens to be standing right next to the bush when Ickis jumps out and lands right next to her. Only she didn't know it at the time. "Lana! What are you doing here? You should know better than to run off on your own! You're coming back with me!" Lola tugged on Ickis's ear and pulled him away.

At the same time, Lana dashes right out of the other side of the bush until she ran right into Oblina and Krumm, who immediately didn't notice that it wasn't who they were looking for.

"Ickis! Where have you been? We've been looking for you everywhere! The Gromble is not gonna be pleased." Oblina takes Lana's arm and drags her along with Krumm. She then dropped her down a hole in the ground that led to their secret lair.

Lana then felt a little dizzy. "Oh, my head. What happened? Where am I? And who are you guys?"

Oblina gasps. "Oh dear me! You're not Ickis!"

"Ickis? Who's Ickis? My name's Lana. Lana Loud."

"Krumm!" Oblina scolds. "This isn't Ickis! It's a little girl!"

"You're right! This girl's way too clean."

"Hey! I can hear you!" Lana said. "Who and what are you guys?"

"Look! I'm Oblina and this is Krumm. And we demand to know what you've done with our friend Ickis!"

"Who's Ickis?"

"He's a monster about your height with long ears and a bit of a maroon color?"

"Does he eat garbage?"

"Yes! That's him! How do you know?"

"Because that's the same creature I found in our trash can! Wait! So that means….monsters are real! Oh man! Lincoln's not gonna believe this!" But then she soon realized. "Lincoln. My family. They don't know where I am. I've got to go back! You guys gotta help me get back to my house and bring that other monster back here!"

"No problem," Krumm replies.

Just as the two were about to take Lana home, they were stalled by you-know-who. "Well, well, well, if it isn't Ickis, Oblina and Krumm. To what do I owe the pleasure? Is it perhaps the fact that you're late for the meeting!?"

"Yes but-."

"No buts! You will attend to discuss your tactics right this minute!"

"Why yes sir! Right away sir!"

"We'll have to take care of this later kiddo," Krumm whispers in Lana's ear.

* * *

Back at the Loud house, Lola is in the twins' room confronting Ickis. "Alright! I'm not gonna play your little game, Lana! Just take off the costume and put your normal clothes back on!"

"I already told you, I'm not this Lana of which you speak! And this is not a costume as you can plainly see!"

"I told you I don't want to hear it! So cut the act and just….." Lola threatens as she pulled Ickis' ears.

"Cut it out!"

"What are you gonna do about it?"

"Oh I'll show what I would do!" Ickis gets mad, as his eyes turn red and he grows so big that he almost hits the ceiling. He let out a bit roar which frighten Lola so much that she ran out of the room screaming.

The rest of her siblings heard and ran to her. "Lola! What's wrong?" Lincoln asked. "Are you and Lana having a fight?"

"That was not Lana! That thing had sharp teeth, claws and big ears!"

"Okay Lola, just calm down. I'm sure your imagination is just running away with you."

"But I'm telling you the truth! Come see for yourself!" Lola opens the door to let her siblings in. They see Ickis in the room in his usual size.

"That's what you're afraid of? Alright Lana, that's enough of the jokes. You can take the costume off now." Lincoln tugged on Ickis' ears, but they didn't seem to come off. "Holy moly! That costume is you!"

"And I'm not Lana!"

"Wait! That means…..you really are a monster! Aaahh! Please don't eat us!"

"Calm down, you weenie. I don't do that."

"Then what exactly do you do?" Lisa asked.

"Oh nothing much. Just dumpster diving, rolling in mud and eating garbage."

"Typical," Lola rolls her eyes. "There's a monster in my house and he acts just like my twin sister."

"So wait?" Lincoln asked. "You don't eat humans?"

"Kid, it's a monster's job to scare kids, not eat them. If we all went around eating all the children, we'd be out of business. Where did you ever get a crazy idea like that?"

"No reason." Lincoln then started to feel a little guilty.

"What's wrong Lincoln?" Lisa asked.

"I just kinda wish I believed Lana before. She's probably out there all alone and it's all my fault."

"Don't blame yourself Lincoln. We'll form a search party to find her."

"Oh really?" Lola asked. "And what are we gonna say to mom and dad? 'Oh, this guy named Ickis told us that our sister's been taken by monsters'. They'll think we're crazy."

"Then we'll just have to figure something out," Lucy said.

"I just hope that Lana's okay."

* * *

Back at the lair, The Gromble is still busy talking, while Lana, Oblina and Krumm talk amongst themselves.

"I'm not sure how much longer we can keep up this charade!" Oblina cried.

"You're telling me!" Krumm agrees. "It's only a matter of time before someone finds out that Ickis isn't here!"

"Relax guys," Lana assures. "As long as this costume stays on me the whole time, nothing can go wrong." Lana flips her head back which knocked her top off revealing her hair.

"Oops."

All the monsters were shocked. Especially the Gromble. "IMPOSTER! There's a human in our secret lair!"

Lana stood up. "Okay! Okay! You caught me. I'm not a monster. I'm a human. And what's more is that I'm a girl. But guess what, I may be six, but the fact is, I'm not scared of you. My name is Lana Loud! And although I may not look like you on the outside because I wear clothes and don't have scales or tails, we humans are just like you guys. We're as misunderstood to you as you all are to us. And maybe if we had some time to get to know each other better, we'd realize that we're not so different. It's better than hiding away from the outside world your whole lives. So if you guys are with me, I say it's time to come out of the hiding and make peace with the outside world! What do you say?"

All the monsters, including the Gromble, had tears in their eyes. "Kid, that was beautiful. There's just one little thing."

"What's that?"

"We don't care what people think about us! And now, since it's still Halloween, it's time we give the humans what they deserve!"

"Wait! What?!"

"YEAH!" The other monsters cheered and all headed out, except for Oblina and Krumm.

"Hey, at least you gave it your best shot," Krumm consoled.

"This is bad guys!" Lana panics. "This is really bad! They're going after everyone and it's all my fault! We gotta get back and warn my family!"

"As long as it'll lead us to our friend Ickis, I'm in," Oblina said.

* * *

Back at the Loud house, the kids are working out a strategy to get Lana back.

"Okay, I think I have a plan!" Lincoln said. "So using mainly spoons, we dig a tunnel underground and find the secret lair from in there."

"Spoons?" Lucy sighs.

"Our shovels are all busted."

"Perhaps we could use a satellite dish to track down our missing sibling," Lisa suggested.

"Or maybe Fangs could use his echolocation."

Just then, they heard a familiar voice. "Or you could just use the front door." They all looked behind and saw the one sister they were looking for.

"LANA!"

They all ran up to her and gave her a big hug.

"Hey!" Ickis responded. "You're that little girl I saw yesterday!"

"And you're that little monster I found in the garbage can!" Lana replies.

"So I'm guessing you like dumpster diving?"

"Are you kidding? It's great! Especially if you find old food and used gum!"

"Cool! We should totally do it together sometime!"

"Totally! But first, I found a couple of your friends."

Lana stepped aside revealing Krumm and Oblina. "Guys!"

"Ickis!"

"A double reunion," Lincoln sighed. "I couldn't be happier."

"Listen guys," Lana warned her siblings. "We're in big trouble! I ran into a bunch of monsters and their leader is coming by to reek havoc on Royal Woods! The Gromble is gonna be here any….."

Right on cue, the Gromble bursts right through the front door.

"...minute."

"Ickis! Oblina! Krumm! I knew I'd find you here! As soon as this night is over, you three are in so much trouble!" The Gromble then spotted the Loud kids. "And just who are you?"

"We're the Loud kids, sir," Lincoln answered.

"You're rather small kids, aren't you?"

"Well, we do the best we can sir," Lana adds.

"Are you really the Gromble?" Lola asked.

"Am I the Gromble? Am I the Gromble!?"

"You'll have to excuse our sister," Lisa said as she pushed her aside.

"And why should I listen to a pint-sized four-eyes like you?"

Lisa did not like being called that. "Four eyes?! For your information, I have a slight astigmatism. An optical condition in which parallel rays of light from an external source converge or diverge unequally in different meridians," she explains as she took off her glasses. "You know sir? I like you much better with my glasses off."

"You put your glasses back on and face the facts! 'Am I the Gromble?' Hmph! How's this for a demonstration."

The Gromble's eyebrows flew off and started zooming around like a bat before finally resting above his eyes as he laughed maniacally.

"Ha! 'Am I the Gromble?' Now get out of my way small kids! I've got better things to do than to waste my time with you on fright night! Ickis! Oblina! Krumm! We've got work to do!" The monsters all left out the door and Ickis, Oblina and Krumm reluctantly follow.

Lana began to panic. "Oh man! Oh man, oh man, oh man! What have I done!? I've unleashed real monsters onto Royal Woods! It's all my fault!"

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Lana," her brother reassured. "It's my fault too. I should have believed you from the beginning. The truth is that…. I do believe in monsters. The reason why I didn't want to believe you is because every time I think of monsters, I keep thinking that they're gonna come here and take you guys away from me. I'm sorry Lana."

"It's okay Lincoln. I forgive you, but we still have to stop those monsters from terrorizing everyone else! What do we do?"

"There's only one thing for us to do," Lucy suggests. "Stall for time!"

* * *

The 5 kids walked out the door and ran towards the monsters. They stoop in the middle of the road and the Gromble stopped in his tracks.

"And just what do the rather small Loud kids want this time?"

"Uh….we were wondering if you could please scare us some more sir?" Lincoln stammers.

"Yeah," Lana said nervously. "We sorta like it."

"Look kids! I already gave you the $5 treatment. You're not worth a first class scaring. 'Am I the Gromble?'" He laughed mockingly. He went on leaving the kids behind.

"Well there's only one thing left to do now," Lucy said.

"Give up?" Lincoln guessed.

"No! We're gonna have to try harder!"

"Not a problem," Lana assures.

The kids kept on running farther into town. Soon enough they are close to the entrance and stopped the monsters in their tracks again. Lisa then took her glasses off and started cleaning the lenses.

"Okay! You asked for it!" The Gromble warned. "Quit fiddling with your glasses! Put those glasses back on and get over here!"

"Yes sir."

The Gromble brought out a big box and placed it in front of the kids. "Last chance to back out."

"Do your worst!" Lincoln shouts. "Bring on your spooks! Mark my words! We will not flinch!"

"Very well!" The Gromble opens up the box and a giant smoke cloud comes out of it and blew up in the kids faces.

The kids opened their eyes and at first, what they saw was complete darkness. Then suddenly, a bunch of monsters started popping up. Ranging from ghosts, skeletons, goblins, gremlins, werewolves and everything in between. The kids started running around in all directions, but they were trying their best not to be scared. Then Lisa carefully observed that the midnight wind was beginning to die down. Once the monsters realized, they gave up and the whole nightmare sequence came to an end.

"You know something, Mr. Gromble?" Lisa asked.

"What?"

"Well sir, as I predicted it would, the midnight wind appears to be dying down. No wind ever blows forever."

"Yeah, so what?"

"Well according to all available statistics, when the midnight wind stops howling, that always stops the raccoons from growling. Which in turn stops the bats from soaring."

"Yeah, I know, I know."

"And when the bats stop soaring, the Royal Woods pond stops rippling, and once the pond stops rippling, that always stops the schnauzers from howling."

"Uh-Huh."

"And when the schnauzers stop their howling, you know what that stops!"

"Mmmm?"

"That always stops the monsters from popping out and scaring."

The Gromble thinks for a moment, but then realized that Lisa was right. "Well I'll be doggone."

"I don't get it," Lana asked confused. "What does that mean?"

"It means that Halloween is over and the monsters can't attack anymore," Lincoln clarifies.

"Ah."

* * *

Later, the monsters are all heading back to their lair. The last ones to follow were Ickis, Oblina and Krumm.

"Ickis! Wait up!" Lana called back. "Hey….um…... I just wanted to say thanks for not hurting my family. And I know this really great place if you ever wanna come dumpster diving with me sometime."

"I'll look forward to it, Loud," Ickis replies. "And you're welcome."

Both of them waved goodbye and went their separate ways.

"I'm sure gonna miss that Halloween ball," Ickis lamented.

"As am I," said Oblina. "But that wind will be coming back someday."

"And when it does, we'll be ready for it," Krumm adds.

"Oh we'll be coming back, someday," said Ickis as the monsters went back to their lair. Lightning flashed as the story comes to an end.

* * *

 **And there you have it. A halloween Loud House Tale. Now for this next story, the stars will be 2 side characters you might recognize. I'll give you a few hints.**

 **1)** **They are both related to each other**

 **2) They are good friends with the Louds**

 **3) They both first appeared on screen together in the episode _Save The Date_ (of which one of them made their official debut)**

 **4) They are going to be the stars of the new Loud House spin-off show**

 **Do you know who they are? Feel free to answer if you think you know. Until then, so long everybody and happy Halloween!**


	41. The Bet

**And now, the _Loud House_ version of _Regular Show_ 's _Crusin'_ episode.**

 **Now I know I have done a ton of Regular Show parodies throughout this fanfic, but it's still one of my favorite cartoons of all time. After thinking it over for quite some time, I started thinking how much this episode could fit in the Loud House universe. Also, remember how I said that I wanted to give other characters a chance? Well I've been wanting to do a Bobby and Ronnie Anne Story for quite some time. So this is pretty much my first attempt. With all that said, hope you enjoy.**

* * *

 _In an unknown location, a movie shows two men driving around in a fancy car, when they pulled up next to two women._

 _"Hey ladies," the first man greeted. "Did you happen to catch our license plate? It's missing a few numbers."_

 _"Your numbers," the other man commented. "How about it, ladies?"_

 _The girls then giggled and handed the boys their phone numbers on a small piece of paper. "Here you go."_

 _"And that's how you get a girl's phone number," the driver exclaimed._

 _The movie ended._

The location is revealed to be Gus' Games and Grub. The people who were watching the movie were Lincoln and Lori Loud and their friends Bobby and Ronnie Anne Santiago. However, the two girls were not impressed. "What?"

The boys however seemed to love the movie. "Wow! That was amazing!" Lincoln said.

"I literally can't believe you guys think that was cool!" His sister scolded.

"Yeah!" The Santiago girl joined in. "That movie was insulting, chauvinistic, inaccurate, not to mention stereotypical!"

"I don't know," her brother exclaimed. "I heard that movie was based on a _true_ story."

"If this movie has taught me anything, and it definitely _has_ ," Lincoln states. "There's only _one_ thing you need to get a girl's phone number. And luxurious car."

"You don't have to do that, you know," Ronnie Anne explains. "You could just walk right up and ask."

"Ronnie Anne, don't be so naive. That'll never work."

"Lincoln's got a point Nie Nie," Bobby teased. "It's a pretty indisputable fact that material possessions give you more respect."

"Indisputable my foot!" Ronnie Anne scoffs.

"Please," Lori scoffed as well. "If a girl really does like you, then they'll like you for _you_. Not for what kind of car you have. But even if you did have one, who's to say it'll _actually_ work?"

"Are you saying a girl _wouldn't_ give us a number if we drove around in an awesome vehicle?" Bobby asked.

"You boys would _never_ get a phone number driving."

"In that case!" Lincoln then slammed on the table. "Let's bet on it!"

"Okay, fine," Lori agreed. "If you two can get a girl's phone number by the end of the day…."

"Which you _won't_ ," Ronnie Anne adds.

"...we'll pay for your meal. But if not….."

"Hope you can afford truffles and zucchini frittatas boys!"

"Alright," Bobby agrees. "We accept your challenge."

"I hope _you_ girls can afford unlimited pizza buffet," Lincoln adds.

"Good luck Lame-o," Ronnie Anne teased. "You'll need it."

The two girls then left.

"Whoa!" Bobby said amazed. "Did you see that?"

"What?" Lincoln asked confused.

"They were totally toying with us!"

"Toy? Is that what…...nah! It couldn't be."

"Bro, they _know_ we're gonna win. They're just playing hard to get."

"But aren't we going for two _different_ phone numbers?"

"Well, yeah. But that's all for display. Trust me. I know my sister pretty well. She's never backed out of a bet before and she's certainly not going to back out of this one."

"I don't get it. I thought they were supposed to be direct about what they're looking for."

"Little bro. There's a lot of things you don't fully understand, and one of them is how to tell the difference between whether someone is being sarcastic or serious."

"I still don't get it."

"One day you'll learn."

"Whatever bro. I'm just in this for a free meal."

* * *

Later in a parking lot, Bobby is driving his car (which happens to be pretty banged up) while Lincoln is sitting in the front seat next to him.

"This is it, little Loud. Get some digits, get some dinner. You ready?"

"You know I am."

The boys pulled right up next to their respective sisters.

"Well look who it is," Lori mocks. "Ready to lose, brothers?"

"Oh I think you're the ones who will be doing the losing, sisters," Lincoln retaliated.

"Since we get to decide where we go to eat if we win," Ronnie Anne suggested. "How does _El Más Caro_ sound?"

"Isn't that the really expensive place with napkins?" Lincoln asked.

"The really fancy ones, yes."

"Uh…..sure," the Santiago brother replied. " _El Más Caro_ it is."

"Yeah," Lincoln unwillingly agrees. "Sounds great."

"Perfect," Lori said. "And do you mind if we bring our dates along?"

"Dates?" Bobby asked looking quite shocked.

"Yeah. Losers buy dinner for the winners _and_ their dates. As long as that's cool with you."

"Uh…..sure. That's cool. Totally cool."

"See you."

The girls then leave. The boys are left feeling exasperated.

" _El Más Caro_? What was I thinking?!" Lincoln facepalmed. "I can't afford that!"

"No kidding!" Bobby agreed. "We have to win this bet! I don't want to be the third wheel on Lori and her date!"

"You do know Lori's never gonna replace you, right?"

"Yeah I know. But still."

"She probably just did this to intimidate you. Like you said before, they were just toying with us. Now let's get rolling!"

All throughout the day, the boys tried really hard to get a phone number. But after so many failed attempts, they decided to take a break.

"I give up!" Lincoln complains. "This isn't working!"

"I know little Loud," Bobby agrees. "That movie made it look so easy."

"Films make _everything_ look so easy. What we need is a better ride. And I know just where to get one."

* * *

Later at the Loud House, the two boys find Lana working on a car in the garage.

"Hey Lana," Lincoln greeted his sister.

"Hey Lincoln," Lana waves. "Check this out! I found this old car in an abandoned lot and it still has most of its engine. I call her Rosalina."

However, Bobby was a little confused. "Uh…. is this normal?"

"Lana likes to repair vehicles in her spare time," Lincoln clarifies.

"At such a young age? Now that's impressive!"

"I know." Lincoln then asked his sister. "Hey Lana? Do you mind if we borrow the car you're working on?"

"What for?" She asked.

"We kinda need it to win a bet."

"Oh a bet, I see? I love a good bet! And so does Rosalina," she says referring to the car. "Isn't that right girl?"

The boys were a little weirded out by that. "So can we borrow it?"

"Sure thing, Link."

"Cool!" The boys hop into the car with Bobby being in the driver's seat.

"So Bobby, you know how to drive a stickshift, right?"

"Sure do little mechanic."

"Uh Lana?" Lincoln asked. "What are these gears?" He points to a second gear shifter.

"Those are Rosalina's special gears. However I would advise you not to touch them. Rosalina's special functions can only be manipulated by a professional."

"Don't worry Lana. We'll just use it to win the bet and we'll bring it right back."

"See you Link!" Lana waved goodbye as the two boys drove off.

* * *

The boys drove up to the girls who were walking on the sidewalk. "Yo Lori and Ronnie Anne!" The Santiago brother shouts. "Feast your eyes on our sweet ride."

"Prepare to taste defeat, ladies!" Lincoln adds.

Lori pulls out a menu from _El Más Caro_. "You know what _I'm_ literally prepared to taste?"

Ronnie Anne reads. "Luxury organic tamales with ranchero chili sauce: $35."

"Oh! And chicken empanada tacos a la golden crisp: $48."

"You'll fill up on bread!" Lincoln argues.

"Oh you mean the genuine garlic cheese bread imported from Europe? That's $15 a piece."

The boys snarled in anger, just as two guys showed up. "Hey!" One guy said. "Are these guys bothering you Lori?"

"How about you, Ronnie Anne?" Another guy said (who happened to be the same age as Ronnie Anne.)

"Oh no. They're not causing any trouble. They're just our brothers," Lori clarifies before introducing her 'date'. "Bobby. Carlos Stepanek."

"Lincoln. Collin Hammond," Ronnie Anne introduces.

"Bobby and Lincoln? These are the guys?" Carlos walks over to them. "Oh, I just wanna thank you bros. I mean paying for a five star meal for the four of us. I mean guys, seriously. Put her there."

Carlos held his hand out for a handshake, but Bobby just groaned in agony and drove off in a huff. "Must get phone number!"

They pulled up to a couple of girls a few seconds later. "Hey girls. We lost our numbers," Bobby exclaimed.

"Can we have yours?" Lincoln asked.

But those girls just scoffed. "You've got to be kidding me."

The boys drove off and stopped right next to another couple of girls. "Hello. Are you two angels because….."

Before Bobby could finish his sentence, the girls just walked off. They then go for one last attempt. "We really need to win a bet and…" but Lincoln couldn't even finish his sentence since they got ignored again.

"Seriously?" Bobby questioned. "I mean no offense bro, but that was the worst pickup line I've ever heard."

"Hey! Don't blame me for being honest! You think this is easy for me? I've never even asked for a phone number before."

"I get it. I'm frustrated too. Especially about having to pay for a really expensive meal."

"We gotta think. What else do those people in the movie have that we don't besides a cool car?"

Bobby then got an idea. "That's it! Self-confidence! I mean look at your face!"

"What's wrong with my face?" Lincoln's face appears to be quite droopy and miserable.

"That's the face of despair, little bro. Follow my lead." Bobby then puts on a face that has furrowed eyebrows and a toothy smile, giving a more confident look.

"Oh I see." Lincoln puts on a more confident face. "Bro, this isn't gonna work. Nobody ever makes this face."

Just as Lincoln said that, two gothic-like girls came into the car. "Hiya boys."

"Hey."

"We were just walking by and we couldn't help but notice how confident you guys looked. Would you mind giving us a ride?"

"Uh, sure." Bobby started up the car. But unbeknownst to them, another car was following from behind. "I'm Bobby, and this is Lincoln. What are your names?"

"I'm Catherine and this is Breanna."

"Oh. Those are nice names." Lincoln felt a little uncomfortable however. "Bobby, I don't know about this. These girls are kinda scaring me."

"Relax bro. We just need their numbers. Just play it cool."

The two girls looked in the rear view mirror and saw the car behind them approaching. "Slow down the car."

"What? Why?"

"Just do it!"

Bobby slows down the car and Catherine and Breanna stood up from their seats and began taunting. From inside the car behind, two men witnessed this with extreme displeasure. "Breanna! Catherine! What do you think you're doing!?"

"Get lost, twits!" Catherine taunted.

"Yeah!" Breanna adds. "We're with our new boyfriends now!"

Lincoln and Bobby were quite shocked. "Wait! What?!"

"Hey Andre! I think these blokes are looking for trouble!"

"I think so too, Tex!"

"Tex? Andre?" Lincoln questioned. "Why do those names sound familiar?"

"No! No, no! We're not looking for trouble!" Bobby begged. "We don't even want your girlfriends!"

"Yeah we just want their numbers!"

This only angered Tex and Andre even more. "You guys are gonna get it!"

Their car sped up and started crashing into the front car from behind.

"Bobby! Speed up!" Lincoln demands.

"I can't! This is as fast as it goes!"

Lincoln spots the other gearshift that Lana said not to touch. "Maybe this one will speed it up!"

"Lincoln no! Your sister said not to touch that!"

"We've got no choice! I'm going for it!"

Lincoln turned the other gearshift which made the car go into turbo speed. Unfortunately, their troubles were far from over.

"Two can play at that game!" Replied Andre. He then made his car go turbo and started ramming the other car.

Catherine beeped the horn. "You jealous, boys?"

"Extremely jealous!"

"I just wanted a free meal," Lincoln cried.

"I'm glad you guys are jealous! Cuz we've got something to say…..what the?" Everybody saw that they were on a highway in some crazy traffic and almost got hit by a big truck. "Ah! Get us out of here!" Catherine went for the gearshift.

"Don't touch that!" Bobby warned.

Unfortunately the gearshift ended up opening the trunk causing the stuff to fly out, and opened the front engine causing the hood to fly off.

"Quit messing with those!" Lincoln shouts.

The other car continued to ram. "You two are in for it now!" Tex threatens.

"Enough already!" Breanna exclaimed. "These two aren't our boyfriends! We were just trying to make you jealous so you could appreciate us more! Can you just let us out of here so we can go home!?"

"Babe, you didn't have to do this. We could have just worked something out. Get back in here."

While both cars were driving, Catherine and Breanna climbed over and jumped right into the other car before driving away. Unfortunately for Rosalina (the car), the engine exploded and flew right out.

"Uh…..Bobby?" Lincoln asked. "Was that the engine?"

"Yeah bro!" Bobby answered. "Brace yourself!"

* * *

The girls are sitting at a nearby bench.

"You don't think Lincoln thinks I'm dating someone else, do you?" Ronnie Anne asked.

"So what if he _does_?" Lori answered. "A little jealousy never hurt anyone."

"You really think it made Lincoln jealous?"

"I should hope so. It'd be kinda cute seeing Lincoln reacting like that in front of his girlfriend."

"Okay! I know I keep saying this, but Lincoln's _not_ my boyfriend!"

"You never know. You guys are only 11 now, but soon you'll start to hang out more, and once you get older, you'll start to go out on dates, and then one day, you two are going to be married."

"Well…...uh….I don't know."

"Well you gotta admit, you two look pretty cute together."

The word cute made Ronnie Anne go red in the cheeks. "Well…...the thing is…...I do like your brother. But I like him as a friend. I just don't know if I _like him_ like him. At least…...not yet. But maybe when I'm older…. I'll think about it."

"It's okay. I understand."

Ronnie Anne started feeling a bit more comfortable. "You know, this is kinda awkward, and I'm not sure why, but you kinda feel like a sister to me."

"And you kinda feel like one of my sisters."

"I mean, I'm not sure if you would understand because you have so many, and don't get me wrong, I like having Bobby around as a brother, but sometimes I wish I could have a sister of my own. At least then I'd have someone to talk to."

"How come? At least you have the entire house to yourself."

"Well, that's the downside to being alone. Sometimes it makes me feel…...well….lonely."

"I know how you feel. Sometimes I hear Lincoln say how much he wants a brother. And to him, Bobby feels like a brother. And you know what? I think you're lucky to have Lincoln as a friend."

"What do you mean?"

"Because he knows how to bring out the best in all of us. He even brought out the good side of you by becoming your friend."

"I guess that's true."

"Tell you what, whenever Lincoln goes out to hang with your brother, you could come by our house to hang with my sisters. Deal?"

"Deal."

Just then a faint scream came out of a distance. "Do you hear something?" Lori then spotted something. She saw that the car Bobby was driving was going haywire until it crashed right into a tree. (Airbags were activated of course) then Lincoln and Bobby fell out of the car all stiff and sore. "Boo-boo Bear! Little bro!"

"Bobby! Lincoln!" Ronnie Anne shouted in fear. The girls ran over to the two boys. "You guys okay?"

"You girls were right," Lincoln says in a weak voice. "Driving _isn't_ the best way to get a phone number."

"Oh dear! You poor things!" Lori says feeling sympathetic.

Bobby was still struggling to stand up. "We'll buy dinner for you and those guys. But could you at least give us your numbers so we can reschedule for next week? I'm pretty sure we both need to go to the hospital."

"Oh sure. No problem. We just want to make sure you two are okay."

Lori gave Bobby her phone number while Ronnie Anne gave Lincoln hers. Just then, Lincoln realizes something. "Wait a minute! Bobby! We did it! We got a girl's phone number!"

The girls were shocked at that. "WHAT?! NO!"

"Hey, you're right," Bobby realized. "You know what that means?"

"Free meal!"

"Dang it!" Lori groaned. "You tricked us!"

"Hey, you never said we couldn't get _your_ numbers," Lincoln clarifies.

"Yeah, but you guys already _have_ our numbers," Ronnie Anne retaliated.

"So? It's still a number nonetheless. So we win."

"Whatever Lame-o. At least let _us_ choose where to eat."

"Sure," her brother agrees. "Where?"

"Best pizza in town," Lori replies calmly.

* * *

Back at Gus' Games and Grub, Lori serves the two boys each a slice of pizza. "There you go guys."

"Thanks," Lincoln said. "But aren't _you_ guys going to eat something?"

"No, we're good."

"Yeah," Ronnie Anne agrees. "We pretty much eat that stuff all the time."

"Well it's a good thing these are free," Bobby exclaimed. "Because we gotta save up to pay for the damages for Lana's car."

Lincoln shrugged. "Eh don't sweat it. She'll probably just find a new engine for it. She's pretty much an expert at what she does."

"He's not wrong," Lori agreed.

"But seriously, if this experience has taught me anything, it's that you can't believe _everything_ you see in a movie."

"So, no more cruising?"

"No more cruising."

Just then another movie came on that showed a big strong man saving the world from aliens. There's a lot of girls in the background screaming at the top of their lungs and running up to congratulate them.

The boys were once again amazed, but once again the girls were unimpressed.

"Don't even think about it."

* * *

 **And there you have it. My first Bobby/Ronnie Anne Story. Again, I have been wanting to include these two in one of my stories for quite a long time and this _Regular Show_ episode seemed like the perfect opportunity. Now just to clarify, yes I have seen the episode _The Loudest Mission: Relative Chaos_ , and yes I'm aware that the Santiago's went to go live with the Casagrandes, but I wanted to do a few stories that would take place BEFORE that episode. So in this timeline, the Santiago's are still living in Royal Woods. Now in case you're wondering, Bobby and Ronnie Anne will appear in future Loud House Tales. Although there's a chance that Ronnie Anne may have more stories than her brother, but I promise I'll try to give them both equal attention. There will even be a few stories with both of them together. But you'll just have to wait to see what they are. So until then, so long everybody!**


	42. Sandcastle capers

**And now here's a _Loud House_ version of the _Spongebob_ episode _Sandcastles in the Sand._**

 **Before I begin, I just wanna say thanks for all the reviews and requests. I've been having a lot of fun with this fanfic and hope to do as much as I can.**

* * *

In the backyard of the Loud house, the twins commonly referred to as Lana and Lola were busy tossing a flying disc around back and forth. However, Lana started becoming uninterested.

"Lola, I'm getting tired of this."

"Tired? I can't imagine anything being more fun than this!"

"You're bored too, aren't you?"

"Yeah. Why don't we just go find something else to do?"

"Because we've already played with _everything_ in the house _three_ times. Face it. We've done everything remotely amusing."

"Oh? And what do you want to have happen?"

"I don't know. I just wish we could do something different. More exciting. Something like…"

Suddenly a big truck came into the backyard and dumped a huge pile of sand into it. Just then, Lisa came in through the back doorway. "Ah, finally! I've been anticipating this delivery for weeks!"

"Uh, Lisa?" Lana asked. "Where'd you get all this sand?"

"I have my methods." Lisa then took a small cup and filled it with sand, despite the fact that there's now a whole backyard full of sand. "There. That's all I needed. I think I might have _over_ ordered."

"And just what are you gonna do with the rest?"

"Eh, it's all yours." Lisa went back into the house, leaving the twins alone with the sand.

"What are we supposed to do with all the this sand?" Lana asked.

"I don't know," Lola replies. "I guess she expects us to _play_ with it or something."

"I don't know. Playing with the sand sounds pretty boring."

"Come on, Lans. There's plenty of fun things we can do in the sand. We can draw, or practice our cursive writing or…."

"Boring, Lola. Boring."

"Or we could make sandcastles!"

"Now you're talking!"

"No one's ever been annoyed by a sandcastle."

* * *

Moments later, Lola is seen building a castle, complete with a little person inside of it. "Ah, nothing like the joy of sandcastles, eh, buddy?" Lola turns over to her sister. "How you doing over there?"

"Everything's dandy in Lana's kingdom." However, Lana is just patting her hands on the sand. Lola takes note of this.

"Oh, a structure like that can't protect the king and his subjects." Lola walked over. "Here, let me help you. First, you need to start all over." She began sweeping away the sand mound and Lana was not happy.

"What are you doing? You destroyed my castle!"

"I'm just trying to help sis."

"Well I don't need any help! You go work on your own!" Lola left to her own side. "Now where did I put those architectural plans?"

Lola is back to her business. "Well I suppose I should attend to the affairs of _my own_ realm. And I'll start by making a queen to rule by your side."

Just then the castle got reduced to a pile of dust. Lola looks up and sees that Lana has stomped on it with her foot. "Now we're even!"

"Alright Lana! Have it your way!" Lola drew a line in the sand separating the two. "You keep to your territory and I'll keep to mine!"

Both twins went to their respective sides. Over on Lana's side, the tomboyish twin is looking over her blueprints. "This ought to show Lola she's not the _only_ one who can build a castle." Lana builds a miniature fortress with spikes on the roof. "Let's see Lola destroy _this_ fortress!"

Lola observes. "I'd better build a wall. Just in case the queen of risks gets any funny ideas." Lola started building, but then noticed that Lana's castle has crossed the border line. "Oh mistress! You have built onto my side!"

"So?"

"So you don't do that!" Lola chops off a piece of the castle that was crossing. "There! That should do it!"

"Why you sparkly dressed dictator! You did it again! I'll show you what for!" Lana pulled out a rubber mallet from behind her back.

"But what for what?"

Lana charged over to Lola's side and destroyed her castle with her mallet before heading back to her own side. "Now we're even! Again!"

"Okay Lans, I can accept that. No more destruction from this point forward, okay?" Lola headed back to her side. "Welp, back to square one again."

Lola then built a giant medieval castle that was almost as big as their house. Lana took notice of this and began to make her fortress just as big.

* * *

Later, Lola arrived to Lana's side with a piece of paper in her possession. "I hereby propose a non-aggressive peace treaty to end the hostility between our two kingdoms." Lola hands Lana the treaty as she signed it. "Lana Loud, by signing this historic armistice, you have brought peace to our land. May your kingdom prosper." Lola headed back over to her side. "Well that went better than I expected." Lola then saw that Lana had tried to attack her castle with her bow and arrow. "What do you think you're doing? What about our deal?"

"A deal is only as good as the sister who makes it." Lana tore up the treaty into smithereens.

"Oh is that so? Of course you know, this means war!"

"Bring it on, sis!"

Lana creates an army of sand castle troops while Lola builds a giant catapult and fills it up with sand. She then launched her catapult and it destroyed Lana's army. Soon she brings out her own army ready to attack. Once they rammed down Lana's fortress, they see her with a giant cannon.

"Oh hello. And goodbye."

Lana pulls on the cannon string and the cannonball destroys Lola's army.

"Why don't you give up, sis? You can't beat me!"

* * *

Lola is inside her own castle that looks like a high tech military base. "Uh-Huh. Well put general! We shall create a surprise military diversion and break through enemy lines. What say you?" Lola turns to a general made of sand, but doesn't get a response. "Yes! We shall ready ourselves immediately!" Lola builds a giant army tank and crashed through her own castle and towards Lana's. "How do you like me now?"

Lana has created a giant robot and bashed through her own fortress. "I like you _this_ much!"

Lana's robot picks up Lola's tank and started shaking it around. Lola then pressed a button which caused the tank to explode and Lana's robot to fall apart. As soon as Lola got out of the tank and rushed towards her twin. "Lana! Lana, are you okay?"

"The question is….will _you_ be?!" Lana pressed a button in her robot's head causing it to fly up into the sky while Lola is hanging on. Lola then loses her grip and falls out of the sky. Luckily she pulled out a parachute. "No fair!"

"All's fair in love and war my sinister sister. Or should I say, my _sinisister_!" Lola pressed a button on a remote and lands in a jet in midair. She then started chasing after her twin in her robot head. "Now it's time to have some real fun!" Lola sent numerous sand missiles flying out.

"Oh yeah? Two can play at that game!" Lana also sent a bunch of sand missiles after her twin. Both girls tried desperately to avoid the missile blasts. Lola turns her jet down, does a loop and the missiles ended up destroying Lana's fortress. Lana was apparently not happy about it. "I didn't wanna do this, but you've left me no choice."

Lana dropped an atomic bomb on Lola's castle. The bomb exploded as Lana laughs maniacally. She then gets interrupted Lola's jet flying directly towards her. Both of them collided and the twins are left on the ground with sand all over the yard.

Lana groaned in pain. "What happened?"

"I'll tell you what happened, Lana. I got carried away."

"Me too. Was it worth it?"

"No. No it wasn't. What once started out as a fun dream turned into a horrible brutal nightmare. As the winds of time changed the silvery sands of these dunes to a new landscape. So let us hope our own winds of change will change our spiritual dunes to a landscape of peace."

"What does that mean?"

"It means fighting in war is pointless. Oh sis. Let's never forget this lesson." The twins hug.

"Let's also not forget who's gonna clean up the backyard!" The twins turn around to see their father standing right behind them. They then saw that they indeed made a huge mess of the sand. "Better get started! You've got a lot of work to do!"

Their father hands them a broom and dustpan, but the twins started to get competitive again.

"Bet I can clean up faster than you!" Lana teased.

"I bet you can't!" Lola retaliated.

"Yes I can!"

"No, I can!"

"Me!"

"Me!"


	43. Lana vs the Computer

**A _Loud House_ version of _Regular Show's Skips vs Technology._**

* * *

This story begins with the resident handyman (or rather handywoman) of the Loud House. One girl, one six year old blonde girl with overalls and a red hat. One girl who's always willing to fix anything whenever it's needed. One girl who's not afraid to get her hands dirty and determined to take risks no matter how insane. One girl that everybody knows as Lana Loud.

Throughout the entire day, Lana was busy fixing everything in the house, including the toilet, shower, walls, sink and even the family van.

"Ah, a handyman's work is never done." Lana turns to the audience. "Oh hi there. You must be those guys that Lincoln talks to. I know what you might be wondering. You're probably thinking 'how are you able to fix these things at six years old?' Well let me tell you, it's not always easy doing the things I do. But hey, somebody's gotta keep this house in check. And fortunately, I happen to have a comprehensive knowledge on all things that need fixing. Sure it's difficult for a 6 year old, but for me, it's totally worth it. I mean the air vent, the pipes, the toilet, the van, you name it. I bet there isn't one broken thing in this house that I _can't_ fix."

Lana then heard someone downstairs. "Augh! It'll take a miracle to fix this!"

"That's my cue!"

Lana dashed down the stairs and saw that the complaints were coming from her brother Lincoln and his best friend Clyde.

"Clyde, I think it's broken!"

"Here try this!"

Turns out, what needed fixing was the computer. "Hey Lincoln!" Lana called. "Something need to be fixed?"

"Lana! You're just in time!"

"So, What's the situation?"

"Okay, so me and Clyde were making this project, but when we tried to print it, it gave us an error 113. We checked and the driver is definitely installed and…." unfortunately, Lana started zoning out as she couldn't comprehend what her brother was saying. "So do you think you can fix it?"

"Sure." Lana presses a button on the keyboard, but it causes numerous pop up ads to show up. Lana took out her sledgehammer and attempted to smash the computer. "We gotta destroy it!"

"Lana! No! It's just a computer!"

"It's okay, Lana," Clyde said soothingly. "Just put down the sledgehammer nice and easy."

"Guys, trust me!" Lana pleaded. "I know this house inside and out. There's something evil in that computer. It has to be destroyed!"

"You don't know how to fix this, do you?"

"What?! That's ridiculous! Of course I do!"

"Lana, it's okay. You don't have to know how to fix _everything_. Don't worry about it. We'll fix it."

"Okay." Lana walks away, dragging her feet in the process.

"I don't get it Link," Clyde said. "I thought Lana could fix _anything_."

"Well not _computers_ apparently," Lincoln answered. "Come on, let's try to figure this out ourselves."

* * *

Lana is in the dining room with her face down on the table. Just then, her twin sister Lola came in and took note of it.

"Bummed out about something?" She asked.

"Whatever gave you _that_ idea?" Lana replies sarcastically.

"Whoa, whoa. No reason to take _that_ tone."

"I'm frustrated, okay?! I couldn't help Lincoln and Clyde with an error 113! I don't get it! I can fix everything, but I can't even fix a stupid computer."

Then Lola started laughing to herself.

"What's so funny?"

"It's just that you think you know how to fix _everything_? Because I can think of a few times when you _couldn't_ fix something. And even when you tried, you end up hurting yourself."

"I do not!"

"Yes you do."

"Oh really? And I suppose you happen to keep a logbook of the injuries I've gotten while trying to fix something I couldn't fix?"

"Funny you should mention that, because I do." Lola pulls out a little pink book from behind her back. "I call it my list of injuries my twin sister Lana has gotten while trying to fix something she found out she couldn't fix."

"Wow." Lana said sarcastically. "Interesting title."

Lola opened up to a certain page. "Here's one. ' _April 10: fix the air conditioner. Broke your arm, in cast for a week and two days.'_ "

"Oh come on! Like no one in this house has never broken a bone before?"

Lola kept reading. "Here's another one. ' _September 23: fix the hot water heater. Blew yourself right out of your shoes.'_ "

"The directions were in Japanese!"

"Well it was still pretty funny. Although this one I can't figure out. ' _October 5: fix the light bulb in the fridge. 9 stitches and a case of pink eye?'_ "

"I'd rather not talk about that." Lana became so embarrassed that she face started to become as red as her cap.

"And here's…"

"STOP IT! STOP IT! I can't stand it! I can't stand it anymore! You don't think I can fix a computer! Well I'll show you! I'll know how to fix the error! You'll see!" Lana then ran off.

* * *

Later, Lana was at the library. She started looking at numerous books about computers. After searching, she came back to the house.

"Lincoln! Clyde! I figured out how to fix the error 113!" Lana looked around to see that no one was around. She made her way to the keyboard and pressed a button. The computer screen went blank for a moment, but then more pop ups began appearing. Then papers immediately started coming out of the printer.

Lincoln and Clyde rushed through the door. "Lana! What did you do?!"

"I was just trying to fix your error 113."

"It's not a 113 anymore!" Clyde exclaims.

"Yeah!" Lincoln elaborated. "While you were gone, we fiddled with it and now it's an error 114!"

"And now it's even worse!"

"Look, sis! It's fine! We already have someone to fix it."

"Come on guys!" Lana begged. "I know I can do this!"

"Lana, I like how determined you are, but really, you don't have to. You already fix everything else. I don't wanna put more pressure on you."

"Lincoln, you can say that all you want, but in my heart as a handyman, I won't rest until this is taken care of. Look, whoever you got, just stall them until I get back."

"Why?"

"Just do it!"

"Okay!"

"Good. I'll be right back." Lana rushed out the door.

"What's bugging your sister?" Clyde asked Lincoln.

"I don't know," he answered. "But I think she needs to learn that there's some things she _can't_ fix."

* * *

Later, Lana is at a technology help center. She ran up to the front desk. "Excuse me! I need to know how to fix an error 114."

The employee just shrugged. "Aren't you a little young to be a computer technician?"

"Okay, first of all, I'm not exactly a computer wizard, warlock or whatever they're called. I'm more of a handyman. And second, I might be six, but I have a lot of experience with repairs."

"Look, if you really want to figure it out, look it up on the internet."

"Really? It's that easy?"

"With the internet, pretty much everything is easy nowadays."

"Cool!" Lana ran off for a minute, but then ended up coming back to the counter. "Um…..could I get a little help?"

* * *

An employee is seen helping Lana with an old 90s monitor. "What kind of computer is this? And why is the screen so bulgy?"

"It's an old model from 1995," the employee explains. "Now open the internet. Move the mouse and click the internet button. See those icons? Those are called programs."

However, because of the poor quality, Lana couldn't tell which program was the internet. So she ended up clicking numerous programs at the same time. Then the computer started to crash.

"No! No, no, no! What are you doing? You can't just open up a bunch of programs at once! It makes the computer go really slow! Ugh! This is hopeless! Maybe our intern will have better luck with you!"

The employee leaves Lana alone with the computer and a certain young prodigy stepped in. "Greetings, elder sister."

Lana was surprised by who it was. "Lisa? You work here?"

"Technically I'm more of an intern here. I don't do work where you get paid."

"Okay, but what are you doing here?"

"Hey, Lincoln's not the only one who gets stressed out, you know. Sometimes I just need to get away from it all."

"Fair enough."

"Now a better question would be: what are you doing here?"

"I need to know how to fix an error 114."

"Oh that's easy. Just hold the power button for five seconds, turn it back on, then press print."

Lana was still confused. "Power button?"

"Hmm. I guess you're more of a hands on learner. Perhaps you'll just have to come with me to witness one for real."

"Eh, why not?"

* * *

Lana and Lisa arrived back at the Loud house.

"Oh you've got to be kidding me!" Lana groaned. "Your housecalls in our house?"

"Trust me. You'd be surprised by how much free time I spent away from this chaos."

The two girls walked into the house and saw that the computer appliances were on the fritz.

"Clyde, you're making it worse!" Lincoln shouts.

"Well you keep pressing things!" Clyde argues back.

Suddenly, Lisa almost got hit by a floppy disk that ended up hitting a wall. "What did you guys do?"

"Lisa! Thank goodness you're here! Hurry!" As soon as Lisa approaches the computer, Lincoln spotted his other sister Lana with a scowl on her face with her arms folded and her foot tapping. "Oh, hey Lana. How's it going?"

"Thanks for stalling."

"You're still mad, aren't you?"

"Yes!"

"I think we've got a bigger problem at the moment," Clyde reminds.

"Elder brother, care to fill me in?" Lisa asked.

"The computer still won't print our file. All of a sudden the monitor started flashing and about twenty minutes ago, these started coming out of the printer."

Lincoln handed Lisa a paper that says ' _your skills are worthless/you'll never find 114/ you don't stand a chance. Signed error 114_ '. "A threatening haiku. This is worse than I anticipated." Lisa then brought out a high tech helmet. "I'm going in!"

"Are you sure we can't just _destroy_ it?" Lana asked.

"Lana," Lincoln sighed. "Just let her do her thing."

"Here I go!" Lisa places the helmet on her head and goes inside the computer. "I'm in!" Lisa spotted the error not too far away. "Error 114! Prepare to be eradicated!" But suddenly, the error began rising up. "Error 114?"

The error rubbed off 'error 114' revealing that the words actually say 'Terror-Geddon'. " _No young prodigy. It is I. The Terror-Geddon virus all along. And now thanks to you, we will digitize the outside world."_

"What do you mean ' _we_ '?"

" _Prepare to be assimilated! Resistance is futile!_ " The virus began attacking her.

Back in the real world, Lisa's machine is going haywire as she started fidgeting like crazy. Lana ran up to her. "Lisa! What's wrong?!"

"Lana…..remember how I told you…..never to smash a computer? Well this time…. I'm willing to make an exception!"

"No! Lisa! No!"

But it was too late. Lisa's head went down before raising up again. But her eyes started glowing red and she started levitating. Lisa was now possessed by the virus.

"Lisa?"

" _Lisa Loud is no more!_ " The virus said in a demonic voice. " _There's only the Terror-Geddon virus! Prepare to be digitized!_ " Numerous wires started coming out and began digitizing everything they touch.

The rest of the kids looked on with horror. "What's going on?!"

"I think the virus has implanted itself into Lisa's cerebrum and appears to be manipulating her movements as a manifestation!" The two were shocked at what Lincoln just said. "It means the virus has taken control of Lisa's brain." The duo were still confused. "What? I've been learning how to speak genius."

"You've _actually_ been paying attention?" Lana asked.

"Eh, it's not _that_ hard to understand really."

"That's really interesting and all," Clyde says. "But we've got trouble! What do we do?"

Lana pulls out her fist. "I say we show that virus who's boss!"

"Hold it!" Lincoln stopped her. "We can't beat it up! The virus is in control of Lisa's body! If we hurt the virus, we'll end up hurting Lisa too!"

"Dang it! Why do you have to be right? Fine! Then we'll just have to destroy the computer!"

However, whenever the kids tried to reach the computer, the wires kept stopping them. The wires kept on digitizing everything in the house.

"It's no use!" Lincoln says. "It's too fast! What are we gonna do?"

"Wait! Too _fast_! That's it!" Lana got an idea. "Lincoln! When I say go, you and Clyde head over to the keyboard and start opening as many programs as you can!"

"But what are you…..?"

"I know this'll work! Just trust me!"

"Okay! You got it sis!"

"Now!"

Lincoln and Clyde made their way to the computer while Lana took out her sledgehammer. The virus also created a digital sledgehammer.

" _A sledgehammer? Really? That's the best you could come up with?_ " The virus taunted. " _Who would've thought that a little girl like you would be the first to be digitized? Say goodbye squirt!_ "

Just as Lana was about to be digitized, the virus then started buffering. The cause was that Lincoln and Clyde had opened up numerous programs on the computer.

" _What did….. you….do?!_ "

"Don't you know? If you open up to many programs, your system will slow down." Lana picked up her sledgehammer and threw it at the computer. The virus then gets destroyed and the computer repairs itself (although the desk wasn't so lucky).

Lana then found Lisa's body lying on the floor and ran to her.

"Lisa! Lisa! You okay?!"

Lana tried shaking her awake. Then Lisa's eyes started to slowly open. "W-what happened?"

"Lisa? Is it really you? Tell me! What is pie?"

"Pi is used to calculate the ratio of the circumference…."

"It is you!" Lana hugs her genius sister.

"Lana, I gotta say. I've seen a lot of amateurs around in my four years of life experience, but none have ever conquered the ultimate epidemic contained within a computerized system."

"What now?"

"I'm saying thank you for defeating that virus."

"Oh, it was nothing."

"Here you go." Lisa hands Lana a small piece of paper.

"What's this for?"

"It's a Loud coupon. Good for one favor. Consider it a tip of the hat, for saving me."

"Oh, well, okay. Thanks Lisa."

Lisa headed upstairs. Then everyone heard something coming out of the printer.

"No!" Lana ran to the printer, but Lincoln stopped her.

"Lana! Calm down! It's okay. This is what we were trying to print all along." Lincoln hands Lana the paper and she reads it.

"' _To Lana, Thanks for all your help. We're proud of you and your talent and we appreciate you being there for us and for being around the house. Signed Clincoln McCloud.'_ " After Lana finishes reading, she felt very happy. "Aw, thanks bro. You too Clyde."

"Don't mention it. At least the computer's fixed. But the desk is demolished. Mom and Dad are gonna blow their tops when they see this."

"Maybe we can just bury it in the yard and no one will know!" Clyde suggests.

"No worries, guys. I've got this." Lana pulls out her tool belt. "Just leave it to me."

"Thanks sis."

As soon as Lincoln and Clyde left, Lana made sure no one was looking and ran off and then came back with an emergency first aid kit. She then turned to the audience. "Just so you guys know, I'm not too worried about hurting myself, but if Lola happens to record that in her little book, I'm never gonna hear the end of it."


	44. Misfortune Cookie

**Now here's a request from Mr Animator. A parody of _Dexter's Laboratory_ episode _Unfortunate Cookies_.**

* * *

Lisa is busy working in her room when Leni came in with a box of fortune cookies.

"Hi Lisa!"

While Leni was eating her cookies, she was unaware that she was spitting crumbs on Lisa's glasses. "Leni, would you please stop eating over me?" Lisa asked as she brushes the crumbs off her lenses. Lisa went back to work, but Leni appears next to her with her cookies. She then started getting really annoyed. "Go away!"

"Aw, don't be so cranky. Here, have a cookie."

"I do not want a cookie!"

"Aw, come on. They're fortune cookies."

"No!"

"Suit yourself." Leni threw another one into her mouth. "They sure are tasty."

"Leni, do you not know that there are fortunes inside those cookies?"

"Really?"

"Yes really. Why don't you see for yourself?" Lisa pushes Leni out the door. "And stay out of my room!" Lisa slams the door.

"Dang. Why does Lisa have to be so grumpy?" Leni kept eating out of the box and pulled out a little finger trapper. "Hey, this isn't a cookie." Leni tried biting it, but found that it didn't taste like a cookie.

* * *

Back in Lisa's room, the young genius was still working, unaware that Leni was right behind her. "Hey Lisa!" Lisa got surprised to find her sister was behind her. "I found this thingy inside my box of fortune cookies."

"How can this be? The odds of a scientific genius like myself and an idiotic person like yourself existing within the same bloodline are astronomical! Every night I lie awake wondering how by the balance of the universe, I COULD HAVE BEEN STUCK WITH A STUPID SISTER LIKE YOU!" Lisa points a finger at Leni as she gets her finger stuck in the finger trapper. "Are you even listening to me?! I can't take any more of your shenanigans! Now I would kindly appreciate it if you get out of my room and never speak to me again!"

Lisa tried walking away, but she was unable to as she was trapped in the trapper, yet she didn't even know. "Stupid Leni! Why can't she leave me alone?" Lisa looks behind her and sees that Leni was still in the same place. "Leni, could you please stop following me?"

"I can't Lisa. We're stuck together."

"Yes, I'm fully aware that we are stuck together. What do you think I've been talking about?"

"No silly. I mean we're really stuck together."

Lisa then saw what Leni meant, and was horrified. "What is this infernal contraption?!" Lisa tried pulling it apart, but it was no use. "There must be an easier way."

* * *

Moments later, Lisa and Leni were in the living room explaining everything to the rest of their siblings (sans Lucy).

"So as you can plainly see," Lisa explains. "We are unfortunately stuck together."

"Well I guess that makes you two _unfortunate_ cookies." Luan laughed at her own joke while everyone else groaned. "Get it?"

"Eh, it's better than her sticky situation jokes."

"So, how do we get this thing off?" Leni asked.

"I don't know," Lincoln says. "I've never really seen this happen before. But I guess we can try."

The Louds tried multiple attempts to get that finger trapper off. Lily tried teething on it, Lincoln tried using scissors, Lola was using her nail file, Lana used her tools, Lynn tried karate chopping it, Luan tried making it slippery with butter, Luna tried telling one of the girls to stage dive off her bed, Lori tried making it slippery by putting soap on their fingers, Lisa used one of her lasers, even Leni tried saying please to it. But no matter what they tried, they just couldn't break it apart. So they finally gave up.

"Sorry Lisa," Lincoln apologized. "We tried but no luck. I guess you guys are stuck together for good."

With that, the two went back into Lisa's room.

"Oh woe is me," Lisa lamented. "Perhaps I deserve this punishment. It is clear that I have not been a good sister to you."

Leni eats another fortune cookie and reads the little strip of paper. "Oooh! A fortune. It says 'to solve any problem, go to the source.'"

"Bah! That's no fortune. That's more of a word of advisory to be precise."

Leni then saw a little tag on the trapper. She then took Lisa's glasses to get a better look. "It says 'finger trapper puzzle, made by ancient novelties, Chinatown, USA, Dry clean only.'"

"Very fascinating. Now can I please have my glasses back?"

"Oh, sure." Leni gave Lisa her glasses back. "So all we gotta do is go over there to get them to take it off."

"Leni, for once, I am moved by your brilliance. But how are we supposed to get to Chinatown?"

"Easy. We'll just dig a hole to the center of the earth and come out of the other side."

Lisa was unsure about that idea, seeing as how they wouldn't be able to survive. "Uh Leni? Perhaps we should look at a map."

* * *

Later, Leni is on her bike while Lisa is looking over a map. "Alright, let's go over the map one more time. If we're gonna get to Chinatown, we should probably…." before Lisa could finish, Leni began riding, dragging her along with it.

Leni soon found that she was being lagged behind. The reason was that a dog was chasing them and dragging Lisa by the pants. "Well no wonder. Go away dog! Go away!"

The dog ran away, leaving Lisa in the ground disoriented and dizzy. "Leni? Maybe we should just take the bus."

* * *

Later, Leni is on the bus while Lisa is hanging out the window flying in the wind. "You were right, Lisa. This is better."

Finally, they arrived in Chinatown. Lisa appears to be a little frightened however.

"The spirits know of our presence," Leni said.

"They do?"

Leni then spotted a store called Ancient Novelties. "There it is." The two headed inside. "Look alive, short one."

The two headed in and found they were being stalked by a ninja. But in actuality, it turns out to be an ordinary guy in a ninja costume.

"Man this outfit fit is awesome! I'll take it!"

"Very well," the manager said. "One ninja kit. That'll be $100."

"Awesome! Wait till the guys get a load of this!" The customer then left the store and the girls saw the coast was clear.

"Excuse us!" Leni said.

"Grandma?" The manager asked. "Is that you?"

"Down here," Lisa said.

"Huh? Oh! Children. Get out! Get out before you break something!"

"But we traveled all the way from the suburbs to….." before Leni could finish, the man in the store was surprised.

"The suburbs? Oh, you are suburban children! I have just the thing for you." The man left for a second before coming back with a few items. "How about this quality handcrafted tea set?"

"But!"

"Or this lovely seashell necklace?"

"But!"

"Or my latest addition, a genuine reversible feather hat straight from Paris? Simply pop it on like so, and within minutes, voila!" The man, sets the hat onto Leni's head. "That's two hats in one miss. For parties….." turns hat upside down. "...or weddings. Oh madame, it makes you look like a vision. Like a dream."

"Like a duck."

"Listen Mister!" Lisa shouts. "I am not here to purchase overpriced novelty items. My sister and I are stuck together with one of you finger torture devices!"

The man observed the trapper. "Hmmm….tight weaving, strong fibers. Why yes. This is our latest model."

"So how do we get out of this thing?"

"Oh I'm afraid that's not possible. You girls are stuck together forever."

"Forever?"

Lisa has a visualization of her and Leni spending the rest of their lives together until they get old.

"NOOOOOO!"

"Shhh! Okay fine. There may be a way. But first, you must do something for me."

"Oh we'd be only too happy to," Leni said. "What is it?"

The man hands them a list. "I need you to gather these things for me."

"And if we do, you'll free us from this torture device?" Lisa asks.

"Something like that."

"Very well."

* * *

There's now a brief montage of Lisa and Leni performing numerous tasks. First was a dry cleaners to get some laundry, then there was a sushi shop to pick up some fish, and finally came the herbal shop to get some herbal tea. While doing all this, Leni was pretending to be a ninja with Lisa being dragged behind. Finally they arrived back at Ancient Novelties.

"Excellent. You have gathered everything I requested."

"You're welcome," Leni said. "So how does the magic work?"

"Say what?"

"I too am very curious to know how these everyday items would form a solution to help us out with our predicament," Lisa stated.

"What are you talking about? There's no magic. These were just things I was going to pick up later."

"Was this really a mystical quest, or did we run your errands?"

"Eh, a little of both. Mostly the errands thing. You don't expect me to do my own errands, do you?"

"You mean we did all that work for nothing?!"

"Pretty much, yes. Now good day to you girls." The man set the girls out the front door, leaving them with no choice but to head home.

* * *

"So, what do we do now?" Leni asked.

"This time, I have no idea. Not even a scientist could figure this out."

"Hey guys." A certain goth sister pops up right next to them, startling them.

"Lucy? Where have you been?" Leni asked.

"I was at a poetry reading." Lucy then noticed what was on their fingers. "And I see you too have gotten stuck in one of those finger trappers."

"Yeah. It came in my box of cookies and we've been stuck together all day."

"Why didn't you just take it off sooner?"

"What do you think we've been trying to do?!" Lisa shouts.

"Here, let me show you." Lucy demonstrated by holding each of their hands. "It's very simple. If you pull it apart, it holds tight. But bring each other together like good sisters and you are free." As soon as Lucy loosens the trapper, Leni and Lisa has their fingers free.

"My finger!" Leni cheered.

"Oh sweet finger," Lisa sighs.

"Thanks Lucy."

"Don't mention it."

The two opposite girls went back upstairs to their rooms. However, Lisa starts feeling a little guilty. "Leni?"

"Yeah Lisa?"

"I wanna apologize for being mean. I didn't mean those things I said before."

"That's okay Lisa. I know I might not be the smartest, but I do care about all of you. I just wish you could come out of your room a little more and hang out with us."

"I understand." Leni headed to her room before Lisa stopped her one last time. "Perhaps you and I could get together sometime and engage in casual leisure time."

"You mean hang out and relax? Sure. I'd love that." Leni went to her room leaving the young genius alone.

Lisa looks to the audience. "One may be a genius, and the other may be insane, but they both go together like peanut butter and jelly."


	45. The Pull Up

**A parody of the _Regular Show_ episode _One Pull Up._**

* * *

The Louds are all standing outside in the front yard. "Alright everyone," their father announces. "Unfortunately, the Royal Woods city hall as just passed a new law. Starting today, all kids ages 3 and up must pass an annual fitness test in order to keep in shape. Anyone who fails the test will be sent to the Royal Woods physical training camp for the rest of the year."

Everyone groaned.

"I know," the mother announces. "I don't wanna do this anymore then you guys do. But the sooner we get this over with, the sooner we can all relax."

During a montage, the Loud kids were taking their fitness test while the parents were supervising. Finally, at the last part of the fitness test is the pull-up bar. There were two bars in front. One for the tall kids and one for the small ones.

"Alright everyone," the father announces. "This is the last part of the fitness test. Just do one pull-up and we can be done."

The kids each did a pull-up with ease. The only ones left are the twins, Lisa, and Lincoln.

"Dang! This test was so easy!" Lana exclaims.

"I know!" Her twin agrees. "You wanna go watch cartoons after this?"

"Heck yeah I do!"

"Lola! Lana!" Their father shouts. "Enough talking and get on the bar."

The twins walked up to the pull-up bar that was closer to their height.

Lana decided to let Lola go first. "After you, miss," she said with a bow.

"Why thank you, dear sister." Lola came up to the bar and did a pull-up with no problem. Lana then followed and she too had no trouble.

Next it was Lisa's turn. "Let's see here. Height of titanium alloy bar divided by wind velocity multiplied by calf muscle strength may result in….."

Lisa was then interrupted by Lana. "Come on, Lisa! Just do the pull-up!"

"Very well, if you insist." Lisa accomplishes the pull-up instantly.

"Alright Lincoln," Rita told her son. "You're up."

"No problem." Lincoln jumped up and grabs hold of the bar and tries to do a pull-up. But try as he might, no matter how hard, he just couldn't pull himself up.

"Wah, wah, wah, waaaaahhhh…" Lynn taunted.

"Knock it off!"

"Come on Lincoln," Lori says impatiently. "Quit messing around and just do the pull-up."

"I'm trying!" Unfortunately, Lincoln lost his grip and fell to the ground.

Lynn started laughing. "Oh man! You can't even do one pull-up?"

"I can so! It was only because you distracted me with that stupid noise!"

"Oh, so it was the noise's fault you can't do a pull-up. Is that it?"

"Yes! It was that stupid noise!"

"Alright. Then go again."

"Don't make that noise again."

"I won't. I promise." Lincoln jumped up to reach the bar, but Lynn made the noise anyway making him fall to the ground. "Wah, wah, wah, waaaaaaahh….." Lynn then started laughing.

"Cool it, Junior," the father stopped her.

"Let's go Lincoln," Rita said. "Just do the pull-up."

Lincoln tried again, but he still couldn't do it. Everyone watched with surprise and unamusement.

"Oh how embarrassing," Leni said.

Lori was getting impatient. "Lincoln, come on!"

Lincoln was still struggling until he once again let go.

Lynn started laughing again. "Oh man! I can't believe you can't even do a simple pull-up. I guess I'm gonna have to start calling you _Weak_ Link."

"Whatever," Lincoln sighed. "At least I did everything else. Can't we just say I passed and we can be done."

"I'm sorry Lincoln," his father exclaimed. "But we can't just _give_ you a passing grade on the test. If you can't do a pull-up by the end of the week, we're gonna have to fail you."

"What?! But you can't! I don't want to go to training camp for the rest of the year!"

"Sorry son, but it's out of our control." Everyone leaves, leaving Lincoln alone with his thoughts.

"I'll be able to do a pull-up," he muttered to himself.

* * *

Lincoln is later seen playing a video game. Only this game is of a gym class. Lincoln is just button mashing when his sisters came in.

"Lincoln, what are you doing?" Lori asked.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Lincoln barked back. "I'm training to do a pull-up!"

"Bro, that's not doing anything," Luna said.

"If it's not doing anything, then how come I'm already breaking a sweat?"

"I don't know," Lynn said sarcastically. "Maybe because you're really out of shape?"

"If Lincoln was out of shape, his head would be _square_ , not _round_ ," Luan joked, which made her siblings groan as always. "Get it?"

The game ended and Lincoln grabbed a bag of chips and stuffed them in his mouth. His sisters were not amused.

"Come on, Lincoln!" Lana barked. "You have to take us seriously!"

"Yeah," Lola agrees. "If you fail, you'll get sent to PT camp for the rest of the year! We won't get to have fun with you! Who's gonna be the butler for my tea parties?"

"And who's gonna model my outfits I'm making?" Leni asked.

"Or help me out with my party gigs?" Luan cried.

"Or my poems?" Lucy adds.

"Or my experiments?" Lisa concludes.

"Relax guys. Thanks to this training, I'll be able to do my pull-up with ease."

* * *

Back outside, Lincoln is back at the pull-up bar with his sisters, while his father supervised. "Alright, let's get this over with."

"Okay. Here I go." Lincoln grabs hold of the pull-up bar, but not happened.

"Well?"

"I'm trying!"

"Come on Lincoln!" Lori scolded. "Just get it over with!"

Lincoln struggles, but ended up falling to the ground once again. "Do I pass?"

"Sorry son," his father sighed. "You need to do one pull-up to pass. You did nothing."

"It's not fair! Please! I can do this! I know I can! I just need more time! Just give me another chance!"

"Okay, that's enough. I'll give you another chance. I'll give you till the end of the week, and if you can do a pull-up by then, I _won't_ have to fail you. You have until _Friday_."

* * *

The next day at school, Lincoln is sitting alone at lunch feeling depressed, when a certain tomboy friend of his took a seat next to him.

"Hey Lincoln," Ronnie Anne greeted. "Is anything wrong?"

"No, I'm fine!" Lincoln responded aggressively.

"Are you upset that you can't do a pull-up and you might get sent to work out camp?"

"Who told you?!"

"Your sister Lynn was in her earlier. She was selling tickets to watch you fail." Ronnie Anne points to a flyer with a picture of Lincoln on it and a caption that says 'come see the weakest boy in the world'.

Lincoln sighed. "Maybe she's right. I can't believe I can't even do a stupid pull-up."

"Maybe I can help you. After all, I _am_ the toughest girl in school."

"Thanks Ronnie Anne. But I'm gonna need a lot more than _toughness_ to do a pull-up."

Ronnie Anne then pulls out a step stool and jumps off of it really high and grabs onto a pipe hanging from the roof and does a few pull-ups with no problem at all. She then let go and dismounted right in front of Lincoln, who looked at her with surprise. "Meet me at my house. Training starts right _after_ school."

* * *

After school, Lincoln pays a visit to Ronnie Anne's house as planned. The Santiago girl then opened the door. "Perfect timing, Lame-o," she said playfully punching him in the arm.

"As requested. So you think you can help me?"

"Oh, I don't _think_ , I'm _positive_! Come on in." Ronnie Anne lead Lincoln to her bedroom. "Make yourself comfortable." Lincoln took a seat on her bed while Ronnie Anne searches through her closet. "Now where did I put that pull-up bar?"

Lincoln noticed that she had a lot of stuff in her closet, including dumbbells, and various other types of workout equipment. "Wow! That sure is a lot of workout gear."

"How do you think I _became_ the toughest girl in school, ignoramus?"

"Touché."

"Aha! I knew it was in here somewhere." Ronnie Anne set the bar up on the doorway of her room. "There we go. Give it a try."

Lincoln went up to the bar and held onto it. He began struggling, but nothing was happening. "Ugh! This is too hard!"

"I think I see what's going on here. You see the problem is your self doubt."

"Huh?"

"Right now, all you're thinking about is _failure_. You need to _believe_ you can do it."

"I can't."

"Just try. Close your eyes and concentrate." Lincoln closed his eyes. "Now tell me. What do you see?"

"A slice of pizza."

"Okay. Picture that as your goal. Imagine that you have to do a pull-up to get to it."

Through Lincoln's visualization, there is a slice of cheese pizza floating above the pull-up bar. Back in reality, Lincoln almost manages to get the hang of it. "I'm doing it! I'm doing it!" Lincoln was only halfway before letting go. "Dang! I almost had it!"

"We'll get there."

Over the next few days, Ronnie Anne began training Lincoln to do a pull-up. The two went through many lengths. A few days later, it felt like all that training was more than worth it.

Finally, they are back at the pull-up bar.

"Come on Lincoln. We're running out of time. You can do this!"

"I can do this!" Lincoln tried again, but then lost his grip and fell. At that point, Lincoln was finally fed up with it. "That's it! I give up! No matter how hard I try, I just can't do it! I might as well just accept what's coming to me."

"So that's it? You're just gonna give up? When you're this close to reaching your goal?"

"Ronnie Anne, I know you're trying to help, but I just can't do it! Maybe Lynn was right. I _am_ just a Weak Link."

"No you're not! You're stronger than you think! The Lincoln Loud I know would _never_ give up on anything! Even when he thought things seemed impossible! Where's _that_ Lincoln?"

"He's on vacation. An extended vacation. I know you're just trying to be supportive, but if I go back to that pull-up bar, I'm just gonna make a fool out of myself. I quit!"

"Quit? You _can't_ quit!"

"I quit anyway!"

"Lincoln wait!" But it was too late. Lincoln had already left the Santiago house. "I know you can do it," Ronnie Anne said quietly to herself.

* * *

On the way back home, Lincoln was still pretty mad. "Ugh! Stupid fitness test! Stupid weak arms! Why does everything have to be so frustrating?!"

Lincoln immediately stopped in front of a television store and saw a commercial. " _Feeling weak? Looking pathetic? If you're watching this, then you probably are. Luckily this commercial can save you. If you want muscles fast, but hate working out, then you need the swift fit kit. The swift fit uses electro therapy to shock your muscles into growing. There's no effort involved. Just switch it on and you'll be stronger in no time. Get your swift fit kit today."_

"Oh yeah, that's exactly what I need!"

That night, Lincoln is in his room getting ready for bed. Lincoln opened up the swift fit kit and reads the directions. "' _Do not operate the swift fit kit for more than 10 minutes a day.'_ " Lincoln then tossed the directions aside. "Well I wanna get extra buff, so I'll leave it on for 11." He put the electrodes on and hopped into bed. "Those guys better be prepared to witness outstanding performance tomorrow." With that, Lincoln went to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, the Louds and Ronnie Anne are standing in front of the house next to the pull-up bar.

"Where the heck is Lincoln?" The Loud father asks. "We're running out of time!"

"Maybe his nerves got the better of him," Leni wonders.

"No!" Lana shouts. "He'll be here!"

"He'd better," Lynn Jr. said. "I got a lot of people here who paid good money to watch him try." There appears to be an audience behind her. "Let me remind you: there are _no_ refunds in the event of a no-show." That makes the crowd mutter angrily.

"This is really weird," Ronnie Anne pondered. "Lincoln trained really hard for this. It's not like him to just blow it off. I'll go check on him."

Ronnie Anne ran into the house, and upstairs to Lincoln's room. "Lincoln? Oh, there you are. You got to—AAAHH!"

Ronnie Anne was shocked at what she saw, and her shriek woke Lincoln up. "Huh?" Lincoln saw that his muscles were now completely huge. "It worked!"

"What the heck did you do?"

"I used the swift fit to get totally buff! This is amazing! Now for the moment of truth!" Lincoln tries to get off the bed, but ended up breaking it in the process. He then tried getting up, but it just made a hole in the floor. "My muscles are too heavy! I can't stand up!"

"Lincoln, there's no shortcuts to fitness. Even _I_ know that."

"Oh no! I'm gonna fail!" Lincoln kept struggling to get up, but he couldn't. "Ugh! This is hopeless! I just can't do it!"

"Yes you can! I know you can do it! I believe in you!"

Lincoln was surprised by what she said. "You…...believe I can do it?"

"Of course! Why do you think I offered to help you?"

"I guess you're right."

"I know I'm right! Now do what I say! Close your eyes and picture your goal!"

Lincoln closes his eyes. "I see it! I see the pull-up bar!"

"Good! Now go for it!" Lincoln used his arms to get up off the floor. "That's it! You can do it! Keep going!" Lincoln kept making his way downstairs.

Back outside, everyone is still waiting. "He's late." The father then noticed that the ground was shaking and everyone else noticed too. They then were shocked at something that just busted through the front door. "What the heck is that?"

"It's Lincoln!" Lana spotted.

"He's only got 30 seconds left!"

Lincoln reaches for the bar, but before he could do a pull-up, Lincoln sank into the ground and into a deep hole.

"Lincoln!" Ronnie Anne called. "Lincoln! You have 15 seconds to get up here and do a pull-up!"

"15 seconds?!" Lincoln began punching the sides of the hole to get out. Finally, he got back up to the surface and did his pull-up successfully.

"Time!" Lynn Sr. stopped his stopwatch while everyone cheered. "You did it Lincoln! You passed!"

* * *

Moments later, Lincoln is lying on a stretcher. His sisters came up to congratulate him.

"Way to go Lincoln!" Lori says. "I knew you wouldn't give up."

"Totally!" Leni agrees. "That was like, totes amazing!"

"They've always said you can make it if you try," Luna adds. "And you made it cuz you never stopped trying."

"Glad to see you finally _pumped_ , bro," Luan jokes. "But seriously, good job Lincoln."

"You know, at first I thought you were just a weak link," Lynn said. "But you really showed your strength today."

"I'm sure even the spirits would be quite satisfied," Lucy chimes in.

"I wish I could have muscles like that!" Lana envied. "I'd be the queen of alligator wrestling!"

"Well I can honestly say, I'm definitely more intimidated by you now more than ever," Lola said shivering a little.

"I too appreciate your determination elder brother," Lisa congratulated. "Even if you did end up taking the illogical way.

Lily gave her brother a thumbs up. "Incoln!"

"Hey Lame-O." Ronnie Anne playfully punches him in the arm, but thanks to his giant muscles, he barely felt any pain. "Good hustle out there."

"Thanks Ronnie Anne. I couldn't have done it without your help. I'd hug you, but I should probably wait until these muscles go away. I don't wanna break your spine."

"I'll take my chances."

The two hugged, and Ronnie Anne's spine didn't break, but her bones did crack a little. But regardless, she was still happy that she was able to help.

"Totally worth it."


	46. Tomboy Tournament

**Hey everyone.**

 **I know that this chapter has come out pretty sooner than expected, but this one is very special.**

 **The reason is because I have just discovered that the creator of _Spongebob Squarepants_ , Stephen Hillenburg has passed away today, so I decided to make this chapter as a tribute. This chapter being a parody of the episode _Fry Cook Games_ starring 2 tomboy characters from the _Loud House_. So enjoy.**

 **And Stephen Hillenburg, Rest In Peace (Aug. 21, 1961-Nov. 27, 2018)**

* * *

The story takes place in a stadium. Not just an ordinary stadium. This one was holding an event for the first annual Toughness Tournament.

Of course, one of the main competitors was a certain girl. A certain tomboyish girl who once lived in Royal Woods, but later moved to the city with her extended family. She went by many names, but you might know her simply as Ronnie Anne.

"Oh, hey guys!" Ronnie Anne turns to the audience. "I guess it's been a while since we talked. You might be wondering what this is all about. Well, if you really want to know, it's the first annual toughness tournament. Of which I am a contestant. You know me, as a hardcore tomboy myself, there's no way I could resist. Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta get back to training."

Ronnie Anne was busy doing excersises. Soon enough, the Loud family came and spotted her.

"Hey, Ronnie Anne," Lincoln greeted.

"Hey Lincoln. What's up?"

Lynn stepped forward. "I came to enter the tournament."

"You?"

"Off course. I mean extreme sports, hardcore competition? How could I pass this up?"

Ronnie Anne got up to chat with Lincoln for a minute. "What brings you here Lame-o?"

"Hey, when you know someone who's really talented, you have to go to their events and support them."

"Yeah, that's why my family's here too."

"Well anyways, good luck. I'll be in the bleachers."

"See you Lincoln."

The Louds (sans Lynn) took off, leaving the two tomboy girls alone with each other.

Ronnie Anne goes back to exercising. Lynn took note of this and decided to make conversation. "So, I'm guessing you're in the tournament, too?"

"Yeah. Not that you'd be interested in it."

"Are you kidding me? I'm all about toughness! It's who I am. This'll be easy."

"What do you mean easy?"

"Please. How hard could it be?"

"They don't let just anyone into this tournament. We're an elite corp!"

"Oh come on. All you do is just ride on a stupid board with wheels."

"Hey! Skateboarding is not as easy as it sounds!"

Lynn tried balancing on a wooden plank with tin cans underneath it. Ronnie Anne just took it as insulting.

"Why dont you just go home, Lynn? You can compete in the Bouncing-a-tennis-ball-against-a-wall-all-day-games!"

"Well at least I don't polish my finger nails!"

Ronnie Anne gasps. "You take that back!"

"Ha! I knew it! You're just as girly as my brother!"

"You're a girl too you know!"

"Well I may be a girl, but at least I'm tough!"

"So am I! If anything, I'm more tougher than you are!"

"I can not believe what I'm hearing!"

"How can you even hear it? Your ears are covered by your hair!"

"Yeah…..well…...who do you think you are, you….you bully!"

"Jock!"

"Buck tooth!"

"Loud mouth!"

"Ponytail!"

"You have one too, you know!"

Lynn realized that Ronnie Anne was right. "Dang it! I'll show you! I'm entering the tournament and it'll be easy!"

"Fine!"

Lynn storms off as Ronnie Anne went back to her training.

* * *

Back with the Louds, The girls (and Lincoln) stopped in their tracks. "Hold it girls," Lori ordered. "I smell trouble."

"Yeah," Lola sniffs. "I smell it too. It smells like rotten eggs and fish sticks."

"No actually, that's _me_ ," Lana confesses. "I had burritos for lunch."

"Ugh! I told you to lay off those! You know they give you gas!"

"I can't help it! They were just so delicious!"

Just then, the Casagrandes came forward. "Louds."

"Casagrandes."

"It's a pleasure seeing you guys here," Hector said. "Here to check out the competition, are you?"

"Like I need competition," Lynn said. "I'm always ready for a challenge."

"I'm sure you are. But you don't stand a chance against Ronalda."

"Is that so? I'll have you know that I've won many competitions. And you guys are crazier than a cuckoo clock if you think she's better than me!"

"Is that so? Well I'll have you know that Ronnie Anne is put at the front of the line. You don't have a chance making it there, let alone the starting line."

"I'll show you! I'm putting myself in the front! Guys, sign me up!"

"Way ahead of you," the Louds said.

Just then, the announcer's voice came out of the speaker. " _Ladies and gentlemen! Turn your attention to the southwest corridor!"_ The crowd looks in the opposite direction. " _Other way! (Idiots)."_ The crowd turns around. " _Perfect. Representing the Loud House, all the way from Royal Woods, a creature so fearsome, so terrible, so mind bendingly large, that those of you with weak constitutions may want to leave the stadium!"_

"I gotta get out of here!" A muscular person gets out of his seat, but immediately is stopped.

" _Too late! Ready or not! Here it comes! Qwake with fear! Bow down before the awesome might of…."_ a gigantic robot crashed through the entrance. " _This robot is carrying the real contestant, Lynn Loud Jr!"_

The robot puts Lynn down on the ground and Ronnie Anne ran up to her in shock. "Lynn! What do you think you're doing here? You're not tough enough!"

"Oh yes I _am_ miss Superior Skater Girl! Check it out!" Lynn pulls out her log book. "I've been training in all kinds of sports for over 10 years running!"

"Well it doesn't matter anyway! Because you're gonna eat my dust!"

"Uh-uh! _You're_ eating _my_ dust!"

"Not if _you_ eat _mine_ first!"

"Santiago!"

"Loud!"

The two girls stormed off to each of their families.

"I don't get it!" Lynn groaned. "I thought Ronnie Anne was supposed to be cool!"

"Cool?" Lola argues. "Not here, she ain't!"

Lincoln was getting a little worried. "Guys! What are you doing?"

"Don't worry bro," Lana assures. "We're just getting Lynn hyped up."

"Forget about her, little cuz," Carlota said. "She's not worth being a friend."

"Yeah!" Carlino agrees. "For all we know, she could be plotting your downfall right now!"

"She is?" Lynn asked.

"She's gonna stab you in the back!" Luna said.

Ronnie Anne stepped back. "She wouldn't!"

"Of course she would," her grandma explains. "Just look at that jock! That just spells evil!"

"She's making a mockery of your profession!" Lisa states. "Are you gonna let some pretender take away what belongs to the Loud family?!"

"No!" Lynn shouts.

"Then get mean!" The Casagrandes yell.

"I'm mean!" Ronnie Anne shouts.

"Get angry!" The Loud girls demand.

"I'm angry!" Lynn shrieked.

"Now get out there!" Yelled the Casagrandes.

The Louds were yelling simultaneously "And win….."

"...that…"

"...tournament!"

Both the competitors were screaming at the top of their lungs. Their families looked on in satisfaction. That is, except for Lincoln and Bobby, who were both looking worried themselves.

"They're not gonna survive, are they?" Bobby asked.

"Nope," Lincoln answered. "No they're not. You wanna watch to she what happens?"

"Yeah, all right."

* * *

" _The first event, the pole jumping!"_

"Win this one for the Loud House!" Lori ordered.

"For the Loud House!" Lynn ran and flipped the pole, going over the bar and landing safely on a spring mattress. "Ha! I'd like to see Ronnie Anne out jump that!"

Back at the start, Ronnie Anne is preparing with her family. "Win this one to prove you're better than her!"

"To prove I'm better than her!" Ronnie Anne took her turn and ended up landing just as far as Lynn did.

Meanwhile, Lincoln and Bobby were busy watching from the bleachers.

"Should we do some about it?" Bobby asked.

"Eh, give it a couple hours," Lincoln answered, "or maybe 5 minutes. Whichever comes first."

* * *

" _The next event: the high dive!"_

"Make way for the real tomboy, sister." Ronnie Anne went up the ladder to the diving board first.

 _"For her dive, Ronalda will be performing a quadruple somersault cannonball. And now, absolute silence."_

Ronnie Anne hopped off the board, high into the air, doing four somersaults and finishing it off with a cannonball. It made such a big splash, that many people in the audience pulled out umbrellas.

"Top that, Loud." Ronnie walked away as Lynn's sisters came up to her.

"Somersaults?" Lola said. "Curse her that's good! But perhaps a bit too high brow for this crowd."

"Yeah," Lana agrees. "She thinks she's better than us!"

Lynn grunted. "Ugh!"

"Better than you," Luna adds.

"Ugh!"

"Now why don't you show her how the common girl prepares her super high dive!" Lori ordered.

"AAAAARRRGGGGHHHH!"

Lynn got up on the high dive and held her arms out. " _Lynn Loud jr. will be presenting an old favorite,"_ the announcer said. " _The single one person dive without moving a muscle."_ Lynn slowly leans forward and falls off the diving board into the water. " _Just look at that concentration. A little shaky on that entry, but just look at that form!"_

Lynn emerges from the pool and moves over to Ronnie Anne. "Take _that_ Santiago!"

"Laugh while you can, Loud! It's not over yet!"

"That's what you think! But it's not over yet!"

A montage begins of the duo completing at numerous competitions. In the end, the score is tied and they are down to their last competition.

* * *

" _It's not over yet! With the score tied, we now go to our final event. The wrestling match. Who will come out victorious? Lynn Loud jr of the Loud family?"_

Lori was rubbing Lynn's shoulders, preparing her. "Don't forget. She's just a skater girl."

" _Or Ronalda Santiago of the Casegrandes?"_

"Don't forget," her grandpa warns. "She's just a jock!"

The bell rung and the fight began. The two girls ran at each other and started battling in a big fight cloud. Close to the end of the match, Lynn pinned Ronnie Anne down on her back.

"Any last words? _Nini_?"

Ronnie Anne was shocked after hearing that. "How did you know my secret nickname?"

"Oh I don't know. Maybe because your brother calls you that right in front of us."

"As soon as this is over, I'm gonna give Bobby such a what for! But first, I'm gonna give _you_ what for!"

"I don't know what my brother even sees in you! Let's finish this! Santiago!"

"Bring it on, Loud!"

The two tomboy girls ran at each other, only to have themselves thrown on to their backs. Just then, something came off of Lynn's neck. It was a first place medallion.

Ronnie Anne looked surprise at that. "Hey, what's that?"

"Oh this?" Lynn picks up the medal. "I got it a few years ago. It was from the first sports game I ever won. So I always keep it with my to remind myself to be a winner."

"So, you keep that thing with you for luck?"

Lynn nods as Ronnie Anne felt sympathetic.

"Lynn? I have a confession to make myself." Ronnie Anne took out a first place medallion out of her jacket pocket.

Lynn was surprised. "You have one too?"

"Yeah. It was from the first skateboard tournament I ever entered. I was about 5 years old when I won it."

"So was I!"

"Really? Wow. I guess we're not so different after all."

"Yeah. Why were we even fighting, anyway? I mean, who cares which one of us is tougher?"

"I know right? What do you say? Friends?"

"Friends." The two shook hands. "What do you say we go get a smoothie?"

"Sure." The girls then got up and walked out of the arena.

"Hey!" Lola shouts. "Where are you going?"

Carlino joins in. "Get back here and kill each other!"

But it was too late. The two tomboys were already out of earshot.

"Dang it!" Lana complains. "I wanted to see the fight!"

"Let it go, sis," Lincoln said.

Both Lynn and Ronnie Anne we're walking off into the sunset.

"You were pretty awesome in that tournament," Ronnie Anne complimented.

"Thanks," Lynn said. "You too. Say, maybe you could give me some pointers on skateboarding?"

"Sure. If you promise not to be such a show off."

"Deal. But if I ever get that competitive with you again, do me a favor and drop a piano on my head."

"Consider it done."

* * *

 **In memory of Stephen Hillenberg**


	47. Bubble Trouble

**Requested by Mpatton17. Based on the _DragonTales_ episode _Up, Up and Away._**

* * *

The twins are are in their room doing their own things. As always, Lola was busy looking at herself in the mirror, but she kept getting disturbed by her twin Lana chewing her gum.

"Ugh! Lana!" She groaned. "Show some class, why don't you?"

"What's the matter?" Lana teases. "Jealous?"

"Jealous? And what would _I_ be jealous about?"

"I'd say your jealous of the fact that _I_ can blow bigger bubbles than you."

"What? No I'm not!"

"Yes you are. You're just jealous that I can do something that you can't do."

"I'll show you! I can blow a bigger bubble than you!"

"Go for it."

Lola took out a peice of gum and began chewing. She tried blowing a bubble, but she ended up spitting it on the floor. "Dang it! This isn't fair!"

"Hey, cheer up. I wasn't good on my first try either. What ya say we go see what the others are up to?"

"Eh, why not?"

The twins walked down the stairs and out to the front yard.

* * *

Outside, the kids are having fun together. Luna and Luan were blowing bubbles in the front yard while Lily was having fun popping them and Leni was trying to take pictures of them. Meanwhile, Lisa was supervising, while Lori, Lucy and Lincoln were relaxing under the tree.

While all this was happening, Lynn decided to step up the game. As soon as they blew a huge bubble, Lynn ran right up to it and jumped into it, popping it.

"Lynn Loud Jr. is the bubble popping champion!"

"Seriously dude?" Luna groans. "Why do you always have to take something fun and turn it into a competition?"

"Because competitions are fun. Especially when _I_ come out on top."

"I think the only thing bigger Lynn's head is her _ego_ ," Lincoln commented.

"I heard that, bro!"

Luan blew another bubble that ended up going near the front door. The twins opened the door and the bubble popped.

"Lola. Lana. You busted the bubble."

"What bubble?" The twins asked.

"We'll show you." Luna and Luan began blowing bubbles that were shaped like stars, cubes and pyramids.

Both the twins were amazed. "Wow! How'd you do that?"

"It's all in the wrist," Luan said. "And I got a little help from Lisa."

"Indeed." Lisa steps forward holding up a tiny box. "Presenting my experimental bubble powder. This concoction doesn't just make simple ordinary spherical bubbles, but can also produce ones that are cubicle, triangular, and various other shapes. Observe."

Lisa took the wand and blew a giant bubble that was shaped just like her.

Leni tried to take a picture of it, but it ended up popping before she could. "Dang it! I missed it again!"

Lana was amazed. "Wow! That's cool! Can I try?"

She tried to grab the box, but Lisa immediately snatched it away. "Hold it! I don't know if I trust you using it. May I remind you of my sleep inducer?"

"Aw, come on Lisa. I said I was sorry. Besides, what harm could just a few little bubbles do?"

"For your information, this powder is still in the experimental phase. If too much of it were to be poured in at once, the resulting combination will quite possibly create an everlasting super bubble that becomes super thick, it will be nearly impossible to breach."

"Oh….so can I try?"

"No!"

"Yo, Leni! See if you can catch this one!" Luna blew a bubble that was shaped like her.

Leni tried to catch the bubble, which she did, but then ended up falling onto the bucket of water, breaking it. "Yay! I popped the bubble!"

"That's not all you did, dude."

Leni looked under her and saw that the bucket she sat on was broken. "Oops. Sorry."

"Dang it!" Lola complains. "It was just getting exciting."

"Relax," Lori consoled. "We'll just get another bucket from inside."

"Sounds good to me," Lincoln says. "Leni, Lana, you guys can watch Lily till we get back."

The rest of the kids went back into the house to get another bucket. Lana tried reaching for the box.

"And don't even think about touching that bubble powder!" Lisa shouted.

Lana then crosses her arms and sat on the ground in annoyance.

Leni takes out a sandwich and begins eating.

Lana walked right up to her. "Leni? Can I have a bite?"

"Sure." Leni took off a peice of her sandwich and handed it to her. "Here you go."

"I'm starving."

"Then you….can….have…." Leni rips her sandwich in half, but it lands in the mud. "...half."

Lana gets the half out of the mud puddle and dusted it off a bit. "It only has a little dirt on it. That's even better!" Lana began eating it anyway (unsurprisingly).

Lily was getting a little hungry herself.

"Hey Lily." Leni gives her part of her sandwich. "You want half of _my_ half?"

"Poo-poo!"

The three girls finished eating their sandwiches. Lana began looking at the puddle in front of her before getting an idea. "Hey guys. I got an idea. Maybe we don't have to _wait_ for another bucket to make more bubbles?"

Both Lily and Leni were confused. "What do you mean?" Leni asked.

Lana walked over to the tiny box. "I mean we could use Lisa's bubble powder to make bubbles come out of the puddle."

"I don't know Lana. Didn't Lisa say _not_ to touch it?"

"Actually, Lisa told me not to _think_ about touching it. But I'm not _thinking_ about it so technically I'm _not_ breaking any rules."

"I guess that makes sense."

"Besides, we'll only use a little bit. And if we run out, she can just make more. Good idea, don't you think, Lily?"

Lily just crossed her arms. "No," she babbled.

"Oh why do I even bother asking? You're just a baby."

Lana then took the powder and began pouring it into the puddle. The bubbles started forming and the girls were all having fun.

"Time for some _Loud_ -sized bubbles!" Lana poured in some more and the bubbles got even bigger. But it started to grow a bit too big. "Maybe I put in a _little_ too much."

Lily started giving her a sarcastic 'you think?' look on her face.

Just then the bubbles started forming around Leni. The bubbles then combined together until she was completely trapped in a gigantic sized bubble.

Lana grabs Lily in her arms and steps back. "Woah! How'd you do that?"

"I don't know. But I'll be right out." Leni tried poking the bubble, but it didn't penetrate. "It doesn't wanna pop."

Lana then tried pushing on the bubble, but it ended up pushing her into a bush. "Hey you're right. It just bounces back."

"It's probably strong from all that bubble powder you put in the puddle."

"Okay, maybe I _did_ put in too much." Suddenly, a strong breeze came in and began blowing Leni away inside the bubble. "Leni! Come back!"

"I don't know how to steer this thing!" It was too late. The wind was blowing her out of the suburbs.

* * *

Meanwhile the rest of the girls (and Lincoln) came out of the house with Luan wearing a bucket on her head. "Guys! We're back!"

However, the kids were truly shocked by what they saw. There was an infinite amount of bubbles coming out of the puddle.

"What the heck happened here?" Lynn asked.

"Where?" Luna took the bucket off Luan's head. "Oh. _Bubbly-wubbly_ everywhere. But seriously, what's going on?"

Lincoln spotted something next to his feet. "I think _someone_ got a little carried away with the bubble powder."

Lisa rolls her eyes. "Gee, I wonder _whom_ that might be."

"Lincoln! Help!"

The kids heard a familiar voice and found that a certain someone was trapped inside a group of bubbles. "Lana? Is that you?"

"I need help!"

The kids dusted all the bubbles off of her. "Lana, what's going on?"

"Leni got trapped in a humongo bubble!"

"I see." Lisa scratches her chin. "And I don't suppose this has anything to do with the fact that a _certain someone_ used too much of my experimental bubble powder?"

"What? No! Of course not! That's crazy! I mean who in their right mind would foolishly add too much bubble powder into a puddle?" Lily pointed right at Lana (who them gave a betrayed look). "Who's side are you on, Lilster?"

"So you admit you ignored me."

"Alright fine! It was me! I did it! But I didn't mean to add that much!"

"Well if it isn't the sleep inducer incident all over again."

"Ugh! Can't you just let that go, already!?"

"Guys!" Lincoln stopped them from fighting. "Arguing isn't helping anything! Leni's out there, somewhere, and we have to help her!"

"You got that right, little bro," Luna agrees.

"Get in the car, guys!" Lori ordered. "We're going after her!"

* * *

Somewhere elsewhere, Leni is still being blown away inside the bubble. She then spotted her siblings inside the van.

"Hey Leni!" Luan shouts. "We're here to _burst your bubble_!"

"Okay! I'm ready!"

Lynn tried poking her hockey stick into the bubble, but it had no effect. "It's no use! It's too strong!"

"I know!"

"Don't worry! We can fix it," Lincoln assures. "We just need a way to get Leni down to the ground."

"You might wanna hurry! I think I'm getting a little air sick."

"You know," Lola said. "This reminds me of one of those balloons in the thanksgiving day parade on TV."

Luna then got an idea. "Dudes! That's it!"

"What's it?"

"If we tie a rope to the bubble, we could pull it to the ground just like a balloon! Yo Lans! You up for a little calf roping?"

"You don't even have to _ask,_ Luna! I've been waiting my whole life to do this!" Lana switched out her red signature cap for a red cowgirl hat and pulled out a lasso. She then climbed on to the top of Vanzilla.

"Get along little doggies! Yee-haw!" Lana swung her lasso in the air and managed to tie the rope to the bubble successfully. "That's one hogtied for cowgirl Lana."

The kids cheered from inside the van. "Way to go Lana!"

"Now let's get her out of there," Lori ordered. She turned the van around and they all head back to the house.

* * *

Back at the Loud house, Leni is still trapped inside the bubble with it being tied to a tree. "Can you pop it? Can you?"

Lola pulls out something from her pocket. "I'll try my barrett." Lola tried poking the barrett, but then it ended up bouncing off the bubble and landed into a birds nest.

Lincoln then spotted a stick lying on the ground. "Maybe _this_ will do the job." Lincoln tries poking the bubble with the stick, but it ends up breaking in half.

"I don't think _anything's_ gonna pop this bubble," Lana said.

"Oh, we'll see about that." Lynn pulled out her bat from behind her back and attempted to hit it.

"LYNN, NO!"

"What? I was just kidding!"

Lily then started getting upset "Wiwi want hug from Weni!"

Lori picks her up. "Don't worry Lily. We'll get her out of that bubble soon."

"I do have one idea." Lana let out a loud whistle and her pet snake, El Diablo came out through the front door. "Alright El Diablo. Do your thing."

El Diablo wraps around the bubble and tries squeezing, but when that didn't work, all the snake got was a sprain in his tail. "It's okay boy. You go take a rest." The snake then slithered inside.

The Louds then tried other methods. Luna tried playing her guitar to see if the sound would pop the bubble, but it didn't.

Luan then tried biting a hole in it with her teeth. But that didn't work either. "Guess I'm all _popped_ out!" She laughed. "Get it?"

Next, Lucy tried a ritual from her own spellbook. "I summon the spirits of the underworld to free my sister from her imprisonment!" Nothing happens and Leni is still in the bubble. "Dang it. The bubble is too strong."

"I was hoping I wouldn't have to resort to this." Lisa went back into the house and came back with a giant laser. "Stand back, siblings." Lisa activates the giant laser, but to everyone's little to know surprise, the bubble was completely unharmed and the only thing that did happen was the kids all had their hair burnt and standing up. "That didn't work, did it?"

"No!" Lola shouts. "It just made everything smell like burnt wigs!"

"Face it everyone," Lori sighs. "There's just no way to get Leni out of this bubble. No way, no how."

"I can't stay in here forever! I'll starve!"

"Ok, don't panic Leni," Lincoln consoled. "We just need to come up with a better plan."

"Maybe there's something in the house that can help us," Lana suggested.

"Eh, can't hurt to try," Luna shrugged.

"Alright. Leni," Lori ordered. "You stay out her with Lily."

"Not like she has much of a choice," mutters Lola.

Lily stays outside with Leni while everyone else goes into the house.

Leni is still bummed out about being trapped inside a bubble. "This is awful! Totally awful! I can't do anything without this stupid bubble getting in the way. I can't even fit through the door. I can't make clothes, drive to the mall or go to the bathroom anymore. My snacks are all gone and I can't even sleep in my own bed."

Leni started getting tears in her eyes. Lily started feeling upset herself. So she tries handing her blanket over to Leni.

"You wanna share, don't you?"

Lily shrugged with sympathy.

"Oh Lily, that's so sweet of you."

* * *

Back inside, the rest of the kids were busy thinking of ideas.

"This is hopeless," Lynn groaned. "We've tried everything and _nothing_ is working."

"Plus, let's be real for a second." Lola points to her twin. "This is mostly _your_ fault, Lana."

"Hey! I said I was sorry!"

"Oh you did not!"

"That's enough you two!" Lori shouted. "I don't like this either anymore than you do, but fighting isn't helping anything."

"You think you're the only one who can't handle this?" Lucy said feeling pretty annoyed. "I can't even think straight with Luan blowing bubbles in my face!"

"I'm nervous, okay!?" Luan was seen blowing bubbles while sitting against a wall. "Sometimes when I'm nervous, it helps me calm down."

"You know," Lisa hypothesized. "It is pretty ironic considering one of our sisters is trapped in a RUBBERIZED SIMULATED CAPSULE!"

"Why don't we just give up?" Lola sighs. "Leni's doomed."

"Guys. We can't give up," Lincoln encouraged. "Leni needs our help now more than ever."

"Lincoln's right guys," Lori agreed. "Leni's always helped us. Now _we_ have to help _her_. That's what families do for each other."

"Exactly! There has to be a way. We just gotta keep thinking."

While they were thinking, Lana's stomach started growling. "I'm hungry. I'm gonna go get a snack."

"Seriously?" Lori asked. "How can you literally think about _food_ at a time like this?"

"I'm _always_ thinking about food. And thinking always makes me peckish. Besides a snack might help me think better."

"Well at least your stomach isn't lying."

Lana walked over to the freezer for a popsicle. "Let's see here. Eh, lemon. Mmm orange. Ugh! Grape. Oooh! Strawberry! My favorite!" Lana took the popsicle from the freezer and closed the door, unaware that the bubbles flew right inside. "Oh yeah. That hits the spot."

"Hey! What about the rest of us?" Lola marched over to the refrigerator and opened the freezer door. Just as she did, the bubbles came out and cracked on the floor, as if they were made of thin glass.

The rest of the kids ran into the kitchen to witness. "Frozen bubbles?"

Lisa observes this. "Why didn't I think of that before?"

"Think of what?" Luna asked.

"Perhaps if we lower the temperature of the rubberized simulated capsule, we could quite possibly shatter it into smithereens." Her siblings were once again confused. "In layman's terms: we could freeze Leni's bubble, then crack it open just like an egg."

"Oh yeah. That makes sense," Lori says.

"And just where are we gonna find a freezer big enough for Leni and her bubble?" Lola asked.

"Well maybe we could take her somewhere as _cold_ as a freezer?" Lana suggested.

"There is this one place I went to with Clyde," Lincoln remembered.

"The same place that has the Ramp of Insanity?" Lynn asked.

"That's the one."

"That sounds perfect!" Lori says. "Let's do it!"

The Louds left, but Lola stays behind for a few seconds. "Hey! What about _my_ popsicle?"

"Just come on!" Lana dragged her by the arm.

* * *

Later, the Louds were driving all the way to the snow where Lincoln went with Clyde. The kids were all in their snow clothes, hats and boots (except for Leni who was still in the bubble). Once they arrived, they all jumped out of the van.

"Well, this is the place alright," Lincoln confirms.

"I sure hope freezing this bubble will make it easy to crack it," Leni said feeling worried.

"Don't worry," Lynn assures. "With the luck that we have, it's a sure thing."

The kids walked up to a gigantic ski ramp. Together, they climbed up the ladder all the way to the top.

"Here we are," Lincoln said. "The Ramp of Insanity."

"Um, Linky?" Leni asked. "How is this supposed to get me out of this bubble?"

"There's enough snow on the ramp to freeze the bubble. Once we get it rolling down, the snow will cover it up and make it so cold, it'll turn solid and fragile."

"That's actually pretty accurate enough to make sense," Lisa said feeling impressed.

Leni was still trembling. Not because she was cold, but also because she was scared of this idea. "I don't know, Linky. This seems pretty scary."

Lincoln tried to comfort her. "Leni, I know you're worried. But listen, this is the only chance we have left. It's either this, or you stay inside a bubble for the rest of your life."

Leni thought about it. Although she was a little hesitant, she didn't want to stay in a bubble forever if meant she couldn't have fun with her family again. So she knew what had to be done. "Okay. Let's do this!"

The kids then pushed the bubble forward, causing it to roll down the ramp. Eventually the bubble forms a giant snowball in the process. The snowball kept rolling until it finally launched into the air landing into a large pile of snow. Eventually, the others catch up to her.

"Leni! You okay?" Lana asked.

Leni was still shivering. "I t-think s-s-so."

Lisa knocks on the bubble. "Capsule has been solidified."

"Lynn, drumstick if you please." Lynn handed Luna her timpani drumstick.

"I hope this works," Lola pleads.

"A one and a two….." Luna banged on the bubble with her drumstick. Eventually it causes the bubble to crack and shatter into pieces.

"I'm out!" Leni cheers. "I'm free! I'm free!" The kids all join in for a group hug. "I'm glad you guys never gave up."

"So are we," Lana said.

"Told you my idea would work," Lincoln bluffs. "Didn't I?"

"Gotta hand it to you bro," Lori said. "The ramp of Insanity was pretty clever."

"That was some game of pop the bubble," Luan laughed.

"Yeah," Leni agrees. "But next time you guys bring me here in a giant bubble, remind me to bring a sweater, a snow hat, scarf and boots."

"Sure thing Leni," Lori answered.

"I suggest we head back home," Lisa said. "Our parental units will be wondering where we are."

* * *

The kids walked through the front door and saw that their parents were sitting right on the couch. "Hey kids. How was your day?"

"Oh you know," Lori says. "We just hung out like the siblings we are."

"Yeah," Lincoln agrees. "We pretty much just hung out all day."

"I got trapped in a bubble!" Leni confessed.

The parents were both in shock. "What?!"

"It's kind of a long story," Lori explains.

11 minutes later

"And so that's what happened."

"Well I'm certainly proud of you kids," Rita says. "You were all there for Leni when she needed you. I'm just glad she's safe now."

"And as a reward," Lynn Sr. adds, "How about we treat you all to a feast. Anywhere you like."

"Oh!" Leni raised her hand. "Can it be _McDonald's_?"

"Sure."

The kids all cheered and ran out the door. Lincoln then turned to the audience for a second. "Funny, I didn't even know there _was_ a _McDonald's_ in Royal Woods."

* * *

Later after the kids came back from their celebration meal, the twins went in their room feeling stuffed and satisfied.

"Ah." Lola sighs. "That was the best victory meal I've ever had."

"You're telling me," Lana agrees. "Not quite the same as the Burpin Burger, but still pretty good."

"I still can't believe what we had to go through to get Leni out of that bubble."

"I know. That has to be one of the craziest adventures we've ever had."

"Eh, I think I've seen crazier. Speaking of bubbles, I bet this time I can blow a humongo bubble!"

"Go for it!"

Lola began chewing her gum and then blew a giant bubble that was becoming as big as the room.

"Uh….Lola? You better….."

But it was too late. The gum popped getting all over Lola's face and hair, making her scream in disgust.

"Don't worry. It'll come out easy."

* * *

 **And once again there you have it. Now I do have more stories coming soon, but before I do, I would like to make a quick announcement.**

 **First of all, I would like to thank all of you for your support, and I'm glad you're enjoying these stories. Now I do appreciate you giving me suggestions for more chapters, but the thing is that there's only so much I can do at one time. But don't worry, I'll be getting to as many requests as I can, but I can't exactly do all of them at once. I promise I won't keep you guys waiting for _too_ long, but please try to be patient. With all that said, thanks for reading. Stay tuned for more stories, and until then, so long everybody!**


	48. Haunted Poultry

**A _Loud House_ parody of _Chowder's The Poultrygeist_. As requested by a guest. Considering that this one was requested _numerous_ times, I figure I might as well just do it. Enjoy.**

* * *

It was a dark and stormy night at the Loud house. The rain was pouring like cats and dogs. Inside the house, things were getting a little bit dramatic as well. A certain girl named Lana Loud grabs a mallet hanging on the wall and attempted to smash something with it. From her point of view, she was facing her brother Lincoln.

"Wait! No! Lana, stop! You don't know what you're doing!"

Lana held her mallet in the air.

"NOOOOO!"

Lana brought down her mallet and began smashing something, causing a red substance to splatter all over the walls. However, what she was smashing was actually a fruit, and the red substance was actually the juice from it.

"Lana, what did I say?" Lincoln dusted himself off. "You don't know what you're doing! When I asked for your help, I didn't mean make a mess!"

"Come on Lincoln. You said squish the squash, so that's what I did."

"I don't mean with brute force. It's very important that you do it nice and easy, like so." Lincoln demonstrates by squeezing the squash with his hands very smoothly.

"Wow! How do you do that?"

"Years of practice. If you want, I could teach it to you, just like my sisters taught me." Just then, Lynn's football came out of nowhere and hit Lincoln in the back of the head. "Ow! Lynn! If you're gonna throw a football, at least warn me!"

Lynn came in. "Sorry little bro, but that wasn't me."

"Seriously? Like I've _never_ seen you do that before?"

"I'm serious! It _wasn't_ me!"

"Oh really? So I guess your football just has a life of it's own and ended up hitting me in the back of the head?"

Just then, Lynn saw her baseball bat floating behind him. "Look out!"

Lynn tackles Lincoln to the floor before the bat got a chance to whack him. "Lynn! What is wrong with you?"

"I just _saved_ you!"

Lana was getting a little scared too. "Um, Lincoln? I think you're gonna wanna see this!"

The three kids looked around and saw that random objects started flying around the house like a hurricane. Eventually the rest of the girls came into the scene.

"What is literally going on?" Lori asked.

"I don't know!" Lana said. "But I'm scared!"

"Quick!" Shouted Lincoln. "Everyone to the kitchen!"

The kids all ran into the kitchen to hide from the chaos.

"We'll just hide here until we can find out what's causing it!"

"Whatever it is, I bet it has nothing to do with that spooky glowing thing over there!" The kids saw that Leni was pointing at something glowing behind the refrigerator.

Lynn moves the fridge revealing an old subway sandwich. "Hey! That looks like the sandwich I forgot to finish months ago. I wonder how it got there."

"Stick me in a ball gown and call me crazy," Lucy said. "But I think that sandwich might be haunted."

"Haunted? What do you mean haunted?"

"It says so right here." Lucy pulls out a book titled the Foodronomicon.

"The foodronomicon? Oh Lucy, you and your crazy obsession with the supernatural."

Lucy opens the book to a certain page. "It says here that any dish that remains uneaten, left to rot behind a radiator shall become bad. Not just ordinarily bad, so bad that it becomes evil!"

The kids all gasped. "Okay, maybe you're right. We should probably get rid of it."

However the kids looked to see that Lana had already eaten the whole thing. "What?"

"Lana? Where's the sandwich?"

"Well you said get rid of it, so I _ate_ it. Problem solved."

"Eh," Lola shrugged. "I'm not surprised that she would. I mean you know her."

"Well I guess if it's _that_ easy," Lincoln shrugged also.

Just then, Lana looks cross eyed for a moment and then started clucking like a chicken. Her siblings were looking at her quite awkwardly.

"Uh Lana? Are you okay?"

Lana turns her head around with a creepy smile. "I feel fine Lincoln." But then she started fidgeting around on the floor.

"What's happening?" Luna asked.

"Lana!" Lincoln shouts. "Snap out of it!"

Lana's face then turned green and her voice sounded deeper. "The Lana of which you speak is no longer here!"

"Who are you? What have you done with our sister!?"

"Who am I? I go by many names. I am the foulest of the fowl! Burning in the most infernal of…...infernal of…...infernos! I am the demonic hobgoblin of poultry! But you may call me Reuben."

The kids were a little confused. "Reuben?"

"That was the sandwich that was never finished. Corned beef, Swiss cheese, with sauerkraut and dressing grilled on rye bread."

"Oh."

"As for your sister in question, she is perfectly safe in here. At least for _now_!"

Lincoln steps forward. "Listen, Reuben. I know you're upset, but please leave our sister alone!"

"Oh I'm afraid I can't do that, snow top. This body of hers is perfect. And now that I'm a living being again, I can finally have my revenge!" Reuben then pointed to Lynn. "Because you left me to rot behind the wretched refrigerator. Now bear witness this moment, as I shall unleash my ultimate evil! And other things. But mostly evil!" The demon then took Lana's body and flew away.

"What the heck just happened?!" Lola asked.

"What happened was that spirit literally took over Lana's body!" Lori answers.

"You mean?"

"Yep," Lincoln says. "She's been possessed by a ghost!"

"Ghost?"

"Ghost!"

"Ghost!"

"Ghost!"

"Toast!" Leni holds a piece of toast.

"Ghost!" They all shouted.

"Oh, man!" Lincoln panics. "This is just like the time her body ran away after she ate all that junk food!"

"It might be worse than that, big brother," Lucy explains as she opens the book. "Once the spirit takes possession, it takes a full 24 hours for the old sole to deteriorate before it eventually evaporates for all eternity."

"So you're saying that if we don't fix this within the next 24 hours, Lana will possibly die?"

Lucy nods.

"Oh man! That's bad! We gotta stop Reuben before we lose Lana forever!"

"I like the way she acts _already_ ," Lola says. "I don't want a _demon_ for a sister!"

"Says the girl who tried to blackmail us by revealing our secrets," Lynn accused.

"Hey! At least I'm _trying_ to be a better person!"

Just then, the Louds heard a commotion upstairs. So they ran upstairs to Lynn and Lucy's room and found a shocking surprise.

"My poem books!"

That's right, Reuben had torn up all the pages of Lucy's poem books and scattered them all over the floor.

Reuben turns around to see the Louds standing in front of the doorway. "Still think you guys are in control here, huh? Well I got news for you Dutchess! I'm in charge of the house now!" Reuben flew into Lori and Leni's room and brought something out of their closet. "I wanna know what happens when I do this!" Reuben broke the mannequins with the dresses that Leni was making.

"My dresses!" She screamed.

"And this!" Reuben flew back into the previous room and started breaking Lynn's sports equipment.

"My hockey stick!" She shouted.

Reuben then flew into the youngest sisters' room and began breaking Lisa's test tubes and beakers.

"Get out of my laboratory!" She demands.

"Quick!" Lincoln instructed. "Use the book!"

Lynn took the book from Lucy and threw it at Reuben, knocking the spirit unconscious.

* * *

Moments later, Reuben awoke to find himself tied up to a chair. "What is the meaning of this?! You think this rope can hold me? Just wait until I…."

"Oh hush up!" Lola cut him off before slapping him in the face.

Meanwhile, Lucy is busy reading the foodronomicon.

"So how do we get this demon out of Lana?" Lincoln asked.

"I have an idea." Lynn took out her baseball bat and held it above her.

"Put the bat down, Lynn," Lincoln ordered.

"Aw, come on!"

"I said put it down!"

"Fine." Lynn put down the bat.

"Seriously? Why does _everything_ have to be _rough_ with you?"

"I've found it!" Lucy shows them the page. "In order to release Lana from this possession, we must take her to the graveyard asylum. However, the only way to get there is through a portal."

That reminds Lincoln of something. "Say Lisa, do you still have that wristwatch that sends you to an alternate dimension?"

"Unfortunately no," she replies. "It was destroyed during Reuben's destructive rampage. But I do have something else." Lisa went into her room and brought out a giant arch-like device. "I present to you the Wondrous Omni-Regional Locating Device. Or the W.O.R.L.D. for short."

"So you're calling it the World Machine?"

"Precisely. This machinery can transport us to any place in the universe."

"Then why don't you just call it the Universe Portal Machine."

"Unfortunately a certain fudge-haired genius already used that name. Plus I registered this one so he better not _think_ about ripping me off." Lisa activates the machine and a portal appears.

The kids went through the portal and landed in a small tour boat.

"Where are you taking me, you Cretans!?" Reuben shouts. "Where are you taking me?!"

"Zip your lip!" Lola demands.

On the boat, the kids were greeted by a talking penguin with a microphone and glasses. "Greetings! And welcome to the graveyard asylum river rafting tour! My name's Tux and I'll be your tour guide. And it looks like we've got a packed house. Or maybe I should say a packed _boat_! Zing!"

No one laughed except for Luan.

The boat started moving forward. The kids come across a group of prehistoric pachyderms. "If you look to your left folks, you'll see spirits of the legendary woolly mammoths. Some say that they squirt water from their trunk, but I say it's _snot_! Zing!"

Once again, no one laughed except Luan. "Oh this guy is good!"

"And if you look to your right, you'll see a school of wild piranhas. Stay inside the boat at all times because these fish are looking for a _handout_. Zing!"

Once again, Luan was the only one laughing. "A handout! Now _that's_ clever!"

The rest of the kids just groaned in annoyance.

* * *

Finally they reached their destination.

"We're here!" Lucy said. "The center of the asylum."

"Okay," Lynn replies. "But why is there a bunch of chains hooked up to barbells?"

"Lynn, don't you know? It's to _exercise_ demons!" Luan jokes.

"Wah, wah," Lincoln responded.

Lucy pulls out the book. "Now all that's left is to appeal to the inner being."

"What do you mean?"

"Somewhere in that body is the old Lana. If we can reach that part of her, it might be enough to break her free. Once she is, Reuben will have no choice but to find a new host. That's when we give him one, as a piece of poultry."

Leni held up a dish with a roasted turkey on it. "Oh, is that what this was for?"

"Yes. Now chain her up!"

The kids tied Lana's body up with the chains, making it impossible to fly away. "What is this?! What is this trickery?!"

"Okay dudes," Luna complies. "Let's do this!"

"Right!"

"I know one way to break her free." Lincoln steps forward. "Lana. I know you're still in there. And if you can hear me, then this is your big brother Lincoln. We're your family, and if you can hear us, then you have to break free!"

Reuben was still struggling. "This won't work you twits!"

"Dudes," Luna said. "It's not working!"

"Don't worry!" Lincoln assures. "I've got another idea. Say hello to my little green friend." From behind his back, Lincoln pulled out Lana's pet frog.

"H-Hops? Is that you?" Surely enough, Lana was able to break the control.

"Yes! That's it Lana! You can do it!"

"Okay! I'll try! I'll….." Unfortunately that didn't last long since Reuben took control over her again. "Ha! Nice try you troublesome twerps!"

Reuben used blasters from Lana's hands to blow her siblings away (except Lola). He then broke free from the chains and kept floating in midair.

Lola was struggling to pick herself up. "Why are you doing this?!"

"Simple! You guys abandoned me! You left me behind the fridge to rot!"

"Technically it was just Lynn who left you to rot," Lisa corrected.

"Shut it, Four Eyes!"

"You won't get away with this, Reuben!" Lola shouts.

"Oh yeah?" Reuben pulls out something from Lana's overall pocket. "Wanna bet?"

Lola gasps in horror. "My first pageant tiara!? You wouldn't dare!"

"You really love this stupid little thing, don't you?"

"Don't you do it!"

"Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah. Yeah okay."

"Stop it!"

"Stop what? This?" Reuben attempts to break the tiara by bending it backwards.

"No!"

He tried bending it again.

"No!"

He does it one more time before laughing maniacally.

"You are insufferable!" Lola shouts. "Let my twin sister back!"

"Oh," mocked Reuben. "But your _real_ sister just can't wait to find out what Lola will do once her greatest treasure is destroyed."

"That's not true! Lana is my sister! Sure she's rough and annoying, but she's also caring and lovable and she would _never_ ignore my feelings just to see me pushed over the limit like…." Lola then remembered all those times those two fought with each other. She then started to feel sorry. "...kinda like…..what _I_ do to her all the time. I guess _I_ haven't been the best sister to _you_ Lana."

"Whatever." Reuben tried breaking the tiara, but found himself unable to. "Why can't I break this stupid thing!?" Suddenly, his flying power began disappearing. "My power! Where did it go?"

Lola saw him falling from the sky, so she ran up and leaps into the air to catch Lana's body. But sadly, her tiara fell into the river and floated off.

Reuben jumped out of Lola's arms and points to her. "Ha! Fool! Look what you let happen to your most prized possession!"

Lola knew what Reuben was talking about, but she paid no mind. "That doesn't matter anymore! I care much more about _Lana_ than I do about _any_ of my pageant tiaras! And I'm very sorry that I haven't proven myself to be a good person. Sometimes I just can't help myself. I'm probably the worst sister in the world. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Lola, I….I…..Ugh!" Lana felt so touched by Lola's words that Reuben expelled himself from her body.

The others then saw this as a perfect opportunity. "Leni! Now!"

"Huh? Oh right! Sorry." Leni held up the turkey and Reuben's spirit went right inside it.

"We did it!"

Lola then turned around and saw her twin on her hands and knees.

"Lola….." Lana stammered. "I-I…...I forgive you."

"Lana!" Lola ran right up to hug her. "I'm glad you're back!"

"Me too. And I felt as though I had more control over Reuben. Sorry about your tiara, though."

"It's okay. I can always get another one. Not that I _deserve_ it. What with me being a terrible sister to you."

"Lola, don't say that! You're _not_ the worst sister in the world. I know you're a little bossy and bratty and mean, but I still love you no matter what."

"You mean it?"

"Of course."

Lola began tearing up as she gave her a smile. "Thanks Lana. I love you too." The two them hug.

The other kids witnessed this themselves. "Aw, that's so sweet," Leni said.

Just then, the turkey stood up and began talking. "At last! I'm fresh again! I'm the happiest turkey ever. And from now on, I wanna make other people happy too."

* * *

Back at the Loud house, the turkey was sitting on the dinner table completely eaten. And the Louds were all sitting down quite famished.

"That was literally delicious," Lori said.

"Yeah," Lincoln agrees. "I guess Reuben _did_ end up making people happy."

Everyone laughed before Luan spoke up. "But seriously, let's _never_ speak of this again."

"Agreed," sighed Lucy.

"The end." Lana turns to the audience and her eyes glowed red. "Barga Flarga!" She said in a demonic voice.

* * *

 **Finally this story is out of the way. I have been getting numerous requests to do this story and now it's finally finished. As some of you may have noticed, I decided to take inspiration from the episode of another Cartoon Network show _OK K.O. Let's be Heroes._ Specifically, the episode _Mystery Science Fair 201X_ (one of my personal favorites). On a side note, for those who aren't aware, the tour guide penguin was also a reference to the Cartoon Network television movie _Re-Animated_ , as well as its spinoff show _Out of Jimmy's Head_ (since it _did_ air around the same time as _Chowder_ premiered). With all that said, hope you all enjoyed and stay tuned for more stories.**


	49. A group of little penguins

**_A Loud House_ parody of the _Regular Show_ episode _A Bunch of Baby Ducks._**

 **Now before we begin, there's something I would like to say first. Sorry for the long wait, but I've been busy working on other ideas and requests for this fanfic, and it's been getting kinda difficult trying to finish those stories simultaneously.**

 **But seeing as how it's getting close to Christmas time, I decided to do a story that would have a winter theme.**

 **With all that said, enjoy**

* * *

The story begins with a truck driving by. The back of it was wide open. Suddenly the truck hits a huge bump, and a crate fell right out of the truck. It ended up rolling down a hill and into a snowbank.

Meanwhile at the Loud house, two of the kids Lincoln and Lana came out the front door.

Lincoln however didn't seem too happy. "Ugh! Why do we have to clear the driveway?"

"Come on Lincoln," Lana begged. "It'll be over before you know it."

"I know, but I hate doing this! Why do we have to do it anyway? It's just gonna get covered up again."

"I know, but we gotta power through this. I'll get the shovel."

Lana ran into the garage and came back with the snow shovel. Lincoln then began shoveling snow, until he started hearing a small sound. "Lana? You might wanna come take a look at this."

Lana heard and ran over to check it out. "What is it? And what's all that peeping?" Lana saw a bunch of little flightless birds in the snow where they were shoveling. "A bunch of baby penguins?"

"How'd they get here?" Lincoln tried catching them, but they kept running away. "Come on, Lana. Help me out. We can't keep shoveling with these penguins in the way."

"Alright, alright. Give them here." Lana helped to chase the penguins, but found it impossible to keep up with them. "Hold still!" Finally, Lana was able to catch them in a bucket.

"I wonder what they were doing here."

"Maybe they escaped from the zoo or something."

"Whatever. Ready to get back to shoveling?"

"I guess." Lana puts the bucket down, but the penguins climbed out and started following her. She kept trying to run away from them, but it was no use. "They won't stop following me!"

"Sis, I think they imprinted on you."

"What?"

"Yeah. They think you're their mother."

"Hey! I can't help it if I have that much fascination with animals!" Lana kept trying to escape from them and then bumped into her father.

"Have you two finished shoveling the driveway yet?" Their father asked.

"We're working on it."

"Oh really? Cuz it looks like you're just playing with a bunch of baby penguins."

"We weren't playing!" Lincoln said. "We found them in the driveway."

"Now they won't stop following me!" Lana said.

"They imprinted on Lana."

Their father chuckled. "They think Lana is their mom?"

"Pretty much."

"Well we've got enough animals in the house already. We don't need any more."

"Well we can't clear the driveway if we're babysitting them."

"Alright. First thing's first. Find a place to put those penguins then get back to shoveling, and don't laze around. You still have to scrape the ice off the windshield when you're done." Their father walked away.

"So, how are we gonna get rid of these penguins?" Lana asked.

"Easy." Lincoln answered. "Sisters."

* * *

The duo is back inside the house. They are sitting at the dining room table figuring out what to do.

"How long is this gonna take?" Lana groaned.

"Relax," Lincoln said. "They'll be down in a minute."

"I kinda wish we didn't have to give them away. But then again, I don't think my room has a place to keep them cold enough."

Lincoln then spotted something. "Funny you should mention that. Because it looks like they're trying to bundle themselves up."

Lana turns around to see the penguins were playing around with her snow clothes. Two of them were even climbing into her snow boots. "Hey! Get out of my boots!"

Lana dumped the penguins out of her boots while her brother was giggling.

"Oh nice. You've been a real help." Lana began walking away, but the penguins kept following her, so she turned around and attempted to karate chop. "Step off! Step off! You don't want none of this!"

"Aaaawwww." The other sisters came into the dining room to witness.

"Who are your little dudes, Lans?" Luna asked.

"Little dudes? More like little _twerps_! Look what they did to my jacket!" Lana held up her jacket and showed that it had chew marks all over it.

"Aw," Leni says. "They made a baby penguin art masterpiece."

"Get away from me!" Lana attempts to karate chop again and the penguins tried it themselves.

"Aw look!" Lynn points out. "Now they're copying you."

"Ugh!"

"What's the matter?" Lori asks. "Don't you like them?"

Lola picks one up. "Is my twin ignoring you because you're not a beautiful swimmer yet."

Lisa analyzes the tall one. "Fascinating. This one appears to be more intelligent than the average penguin."

"Where did these penguins even come from?" Lori asked.

"We found them when we were clearing the driveway," Lincoln answered. "And now we need to find a place for them."

"Aw, but they're so cute!" Lana complains. "Why must we give them away?"

"Lana," Lori says. "You know we can't keep baby penguins in our house. Do you know how much fish they eat everyday? We could never afford it."

"Why can't we just give them pizza with anchovies?" Leni suggested. "That's kinda like fish, isn't it."

"Leni, penguins don't eat pizza."

" _Everyone_ eats pizza!"

"Well _not_ penguins," Lynn said. "Do you think they would get deliveries in Antarctica?"

"I concur," Lisa agrees. "Penguins indeed have very different diets."

Leni was confused. "They don't look fat to me."

Lincoln facepalmed. "No Leni. They're not _on_ a diet to lose weight. Lisa means that certain animals eat different foods than people. And that means _no_ pizza."

"Well no wonder they're wild animals. I'd be furious."

Lisa shook her head in exasperation. "I suggest you go around town and find an appropriate location for these semi aquatic birds."

"Or we could keep them until we can buy them a car," Luan said.

"Penguins don't drive Luan!"

"Well then how do they get to the bank?"

"Well first they…" Lisa realized what she was getting into and slapped her forehead. "D'oh!"

"Gotcha!"

"Very funny, Luan."

Lana was confused. "I don't get it."

"It's a _snow_ bank joke. Get it?" Luan laughed. "But seriously, they can't stay here."

"I don't know. Maybe it won't be so bad. They don't seem to be any bother."

"Uh, Lana?" Lincoln pointed down.

Lana saw that her hat wasn't on her head and that the penguins were chewing on it. "No! Give that back! That's mine!" Lana does a tug of war to get her hat back. The penguins let go, but her hat had chew marks all over it. "Aw man! That was my favorite hat!" Lana ringed it out and put it back on her head. "Okay, let's find the a place to stay before they start chewing a hole through my overalls."

* * *

Later that day, Lincoln and Lana are at the Royal Woods Animal Shelter.

"Hello," the receptionist greeted. "Can I help you kids?"

"Hi," Lincoln replied. "We found these little penguins in our front yard."

"Yeah," Lana adds. "And we wanna find them a good home."

The receptionist handed them some applications. "Very well then. I'm gonna need you two to fill out some paperwork. You can start by…." the receptionist stopped when she saw what the penguins were doing. "Excuse me but are those penguins slapping each other?"

"Uhh…..no?" Lana lies.

The penguins were indeed slapping each other in the face. A dog then came by as the penguins got into their fighting positions. The dog then whimpers into a corner.

"I'm sorry," the receptionist frowned. "We do not take violent animals."

"Aw come on!" Lana begged. "They're not violent, they were just playing around."

The penguins then karate chopped off one of the legs of a table, smashing a tank with a snake in it. The snake crawled out, but the penguins began tying it up in a knot. The two Loud kids laughed nervously, but the receptionist did not approve. As such, she pointed to the front door and the kids head out dragging their feet.

"Now what do we do?" Lana asked.

"I guess we'll just have to head back home until we can figure out what to do with them," Lincoln answered.

* * *

In the kitchen, Lana spotted one of the penguins eating out of the freezer. "Hey! Get out of there! No wonder everyone's going hungry with _you_ eating all the food!"

Lincoln came in. "I see the penguin sitting is going terrific. Two minutes and already one of them starts eating out of the refrigerator."

"Oh he's fine. I think it's the _grocery bill_ mom and dad will be worried about."

"What's the big deal? They're just a bunch of little penguins."

"Little?! You should see what he did in my sneakers!"

"Speaking of which, where are the others?"

Upstairs in Lisa's room, Lincoln and Lana busted in to see the young scientist with the tallest penguin.

"Greetings elder brother and sister," Lisa greeted.

"Lisa," Lana accused. "You haven't been experimenting on these penguins, have you?"

"Quite the opposite. This little spheniscidae has been very helpful in testing my calculations."

Lisa points to the penguin in question who's using an abacus.

"Thanks to this little marvel, I have been able to perfect my formulas."

"Well at least he's not getting hurt," Lincoln sighs. "But where'd the others go?"

In the twins room, Lola is having a tea party with the smallest penguin (who was wearing a bow tie and top hat).

"More tea, sir penguington?" Lola asked as she poured tea into the cup.

Lana came in to witness this. "Lola, what are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm having a special guest over for tea." Lola holds up the little penguin. "Look at him. He's like a little bird in a tuxedo."

"Penguins are birds, Lola."

"Yeah. A really fancy bird that has more class than you."

Lana growled.

"I'm just glad it's not me in a tux this time," Lincoln muttered.

"Wait a minute," Lana thought. "There's supposed to be four penguins! We're missing one!"

Just then, the kids heard a loud noise coming from the bathroom. Lana opens the bathroom door to find that it was completely flooded. Lana picks up the penguin that was responsible. "Come on Skipper!"

"Skipper? You named it?"

"Yeah. That's what I decided to call them. This one is Skipper, the tall one's Kowalski, the crazy one is Rico, and this little one is Private."

"Private?"

"Yeah. You know. Like in the army. Besides, these little dudes remind me of army soldiers."

"Oh."

* * *

Back downstairs, Lincoln and Lana are on the couch trying to figure out what to do.

"You know Lincoln?" Lana asked. "I don't know what it is, but there's just something special about these penguins. Maybe we _shouldn't_ give them away."

"What?"

"I don't know. Maybe we should just keep them."

Their father came into the room. "What was that?"

"Oh! Hey dad," Lincoln said. "We were just saying maybe we should keep…... _looking_ for someone to _keep_ these penguins."

"Well have you finished clearing the driveway?"

"We can't. Because we're _still_ babysitting these penguins."

"Whatever. Find someone to take care of these penguins right now and get back to work, or you're both grounded!" Their father left.

"Guess we better keep searching. Get your snow clothes on Lana."

"Alright." Lana puts on her jacket and boots. However, the one thing she couldn't find was her mittens. "Hey! Where'd my mittens go?" She looks at the penguins, who were looking quite sheepish. "You lost my mittens? You naughty penguins! Now you shall have no pie."

* * *

Outside the house, Lana finished putting up a sign that says 'penguins for sale', while Lincoln was keeping an eye on the penguins.

"I don't know about this, Lincoln," Lana said. "The only people who are gonna see this are some weirdos in the neighborhood. We can't just give these penguins away to just anyone."

"I know sis," Lincoln says. "But we have to do what dad said. Besides, I'm sure someone cool will take these penguins."

Many moments passed, Lincoln and Lana were sitting on the stairs waiting until a truck came by. A man walks out of the truck with a cooler and attempted to put the penguins in, but…..

"No!"

The man then closed the cooler and left.

* * *

The two siblings were then sitting on the stairs in front of the house thinking about what to do.

"Let's face it, sis," said Lincoln. "These penguins are too cool. We're never gonna find anyone we can trust to take care of them."

"I told you your flyer idea was gonna stink," Lana replies.

"Well I don't hear you coming up with anything."

"You know? Maybe we can keep these penguins if we just hide them from mom and dad."

"There's no way. They'd find them anywhere."

"Not if we hide them in plain sight. They can stay in the front yard and I'll train them to act like lawn ornaments, like this." Lana stood still like a statue and the penguins did the same.

"You know, that could actually work."

"Okay. Now push me so I can train them to tip over."

Just then, Leni came out the door. "Lincoln! Lana! Phone call for you inside!"

* * *

Back in the house, Lincoln is answering the phone. "Hello?"

 _"Yes, hello? I'm calling about your ad. Are these penguins small, black and white?"_

"Yes."

 _"Oh thank goodness. I've been looking everywhere for them. One minute I'm traveling back home, the next thing I know, they're gone."_

Lincoln turned to Lana for a second. "I think it's their mom. She wants the penguins back."

"Tell her no," Lana whispered. "I already got the whole lawn ornament thing all planned out."

"Lana, think about it. We don't know anything about raising penguins."

"It can't be that hard."

"You can barely feed all your pets at the same time. Plus how much fish is gonna feed four penguins?"

"Good point. Come to think of it, I don't think I've fed them at all yet."

Lincoln turned back to the phone. "When do you want to pick them up?"

 _"I'll be right over."_

Lincoln and Lana were walking out of the house.

"Do you even know what they eat," Lana asked.

"We have some sardines," Lincoln answered. "Maybe that'll….hey!

Suddenly the kids saw the man from before, taking all the penguins into the cooler before driving away. The kids tried to catch up, but the truck was too fast.

"Stop! Come back!"

"I knew we shouldn't have left them alone," Lincoln groaned.

* * *

The two kids headed back to the house and saw the other sisters with the mother penguin.

"Guys, what's going on?" Lori questions.

"Where are my babies?" The mother penguin asks.

"Some crazy guy in a truck took them away!" Lana answered.

"What?!"

"We've got to go after them!" Lynn said.

"But how are we gonna do that?" Leni asked.

Lincoln thinks for a minute. "I've got it! Lisa! Do you still have your tank and that salt?"

"Way ahead of you elder brother," she replies.

* * *

Later, all the kids were in the tank while Lisa's salt began melting the snow in their path.

Lisa kept her eyes on the screen. "No sign of any other vehicles. But I should probably tell you, it's getting awfully late."

Lana stuck her head out of the top and sniffed the air. "I smell fish breath. This way!"

Lana points in the direction and the tank followed right behind the truck they were following. The man in the truck had suspicions that something was following him. When he checked his mirrors, he saw nothing was there. But when he saw that the Louds' tank was right next to him, he immediately stepped on the gas.

Fortunately, the tank drove faster to catch up. Lincoln got out of the tank and stood on the front of it. "Quick! Leni! I need a hairpin!"

However, Leni was being a little stubborn. "Ahem."

Lincoln got the idea while rolling his eyes. "Please?"

"Here you go."

Leni handed Lincoln her hair pin as he used it to pick the lock at the back of the truck, opening it.

Lana also got out and tied a rope around her waist and clutches onto the door handle. The man driving turns around to witness this. "Ha! Give back the penguins!"

"Never! You kids should have stayed home!" The man stood on the pedal harder.

Lana was still struggling to hang on. "Lisa! We need to go faster!"

"It won't go any faster!" Lisa argues. "This machinery operates at a maximum 45 miles per hour!"

The penguins saw what was going on, so Rico spotted a jack in the box inside the truck and brought it to the others. While Lana was still struggling to hang on, the penguins all winded up the toy. Unfortunately, Lana lets go while the penguins were still winding.

Fortunately for them, the jack in the box suddenly opens up and pops out of a window that led to the driver's seat. The driver was caught with surprise and ended up driving off the road into a snowbank.

Finally, the tank made it to the truck and pulled over.

Lana ran up and hugged the penguins. "Guys! You're okay!"

Lincoln was a little confused. "Was that really them or some stunt penguins?"

"Aw go on!" Luan laughs.

Lana kept on snuggling. "Aw look at you guys! Not a scratch on any of you!"

Lisa approaches. "Indeed. But what puzzles me is what ever happened to that whooligan?"

The kids suddenly looked behind the penguins and saw that the bandit was all tied up.

Lana was impressed. "You guys are so cool!"

* * *

Back at the Loud house, the kids are saying goodbye to the penguins.

"I can't thank you enough for watching my babies," their mother said.

"It was literally our pleasure," Lori replies.

"Where are you guys going to go now?" Lincoln asked.

"I'm not sure," the mother penguin answered. "Wherever the cold wind will take us I guess. Maybe we'll find a nice frozen wonderland up in Alaska. Or maybe Greenland or Antarctica. Whichever place we can get to first."

"Well, we're really gonna miss you guys."

"So long, Skipper," Lynn salutes.

"See you later, Private," Lola waves.

"Auf wiedersehen Kowalski," Lisa said.

"Goodbye Rico," Lana said with tears in her eyes.

The penguins were about to leave, but turned around one last time.

"Hey Lincoln? Lana? Thanks." Skipper said. "For being the coolest soldiers we know!"

The penguins gave each other high fives and waddled along.

"Well the good news is the penguins mom came and took them home." Lincoln then turned around towards the garage. "The bad news is that the the driveway is still blocked. We are so grounded."

"Not necessarily," Lisa declares. "I might have enough salt to help clear out the driveway."

"In that case, let's get to work."

* * *

As Lincoln was heading off to bed, he peeked into the twins room and saw Lana sitting on her bed looking sad.

Lincoln approaches his sister. "Lana? Are you okay?"

"I will be…...eventually," Lana lamented.

"Little sis, I know you're upset. But it was the right thing to do. Those little penguins are safe now and they're free. Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Yeah, I guess. But I still miss them."

"I know you do. And I do too. But they'll always be there in your memories. And who knows? Maybe we'll get a chance to see them again."

"Thanks bro." Lincoln left, but not before Lana stopped him one last time. "Uh, Lincoln?"

"Yeah Lana?"

"You think those guys will remember us?"

Lincoln just smiles. "Lana, I don't think anyone will ever forget us."

All the way down in Antarctica, the four penguins had a military base of their own underneath the ice.

"Cute and cuddly, boys," Skipper ordered. "Cute and cuddly."

* * *

 **There it is.**

 **For those of you who might have noticed, yes I decided to name the four penguins after the _Penguins of Madagascar_ (since they once had a show on _Nickelodeon_ ). Also in case you didn't notice, the idea for the jack in the box in the back of the truck came from a Christmas special called _Olive the Other Reindeer._**

 **And now, as you can see, the next chapter is the 50th. And to mark the occasion, I've decided to make it a crossover chapter. Now that's all I'm gonna say because I don't want to ruin the surprise. But I can assure you that it'll be coming up real soon.**

 **So long everybody**

 **And a very merry Christmas to you**

 **Happy holidays!**


	50. Wiffleball

**And now at long last, here's my 50th chapter. Sorry for the long wait, but after giving it some thought, I decided to give this chapter a New Years release. But with all that said, let's begin.**

 ** _The Loud House_ version of the _Chowder_ episode _Sniffleball_**

 **With guest stars from _Doug, CatDog, Hey Arnold, ChalkZone, My Life as a Teenage Robot_ and _Harvey Beaks._**

 **I own nothing, all characters belong to Nickelodeon.**

* * *

We join Lincoln as he is sitting on his bed reading his comics.

Just then his mother came in. "Lincoln, when was the last time you went outside?" As soon as Rita opens the window, Lincoln makes a hissing sound like a vampire. "Oh, come on. Dont be like Lucy. It's a perfect day to get out of the house. Wouldn't you agree Lincoln?"

However, Lincoln wasn't paying attention and held up his action figures. "' _It's a perfect day to get out of the house,_ '" he said rather mockingly. "' _Wouldn't you agree Lincoln?'_ "

Lincoln saw that his mother was not amused. He smiles nervously, but Rita didn't buy it.

* * *

Later, Rita is dragging Lincoln by the arm to go find something to do outside.

"Come on mom! This is such a dumb idea!"

"Lincoln," his mother said. "I understand being alone with comic books more than anyone, but it's just not natural. A kid needs to interact with other kids."

"But I don't want to do this!"

"I'm sorry sweetie. But you need to get some exercise."

"I can get exercise easy. By doing this!" Lincoln gets free from his mother's hand and made a dash back home.

"Lana!" Rita called.

"I'm on it mom." Lana came by and used her lasso to hogtie Lincoln and drag him back to his mother.

"Thank you, honey."

"If you need anything else, just call."

Rita took Lincoln by the rope and started dragging him.

Lincoln was still struggling to get out of the rope when Rita took him to a wiffle ball field. "Okay settle down. We're here. Look at all the kids playing wiffle ball. Doesn't that look like fun?"

Lincoln just shook his head.

"Well it _is_. In fact, this is the perfect place for you to make new non-inanimate friends. Okay, I'm gonna let you go now." Rita started untying Lincoln. "But don't even think about…."

Just as soon as Lincoln was untied, he immediately made a dash back home only to be confronted by Lynn and Lori who then lead him back to the spot next to his mother.

"Thank you girls. I'll take it from here."

"No problem Mom," Lynn said as they both leave.

"But Mom," Lincoln complains. I don't even know how to play wiffle ball."

"Sweetie, you don't need to know _how_ to play. You just need to have fun while playing."

"I don't know. I still wanna go home."

"Lincoln, this is for your own good. You need to get out of the house once in a while. So just let loose, have fun, make some new friends, you'll be fine. Good luck sweetie."

Rita leaves, which left Lincoln all alone. Just then, a wiffle ball hits him on the head knocking him to the ground and passing out. After a few moments, he started to wake up and sees someone standing in front of him.

"You okay?"

Lincoln nodded his head as the shadowy figure held its hand out. After Lincoln is brought back on his feet, the person appears to be a 10-year-old boy with a green shirt, brown hair and a slight overbite.

"Hey, you must be our new teammate. Nice to meet you. I'm Rudy." The young boy held out his hand and Lincoln returned the handshake.

"I'm Lincoln."

"So, have you ever played wiffle ball before?"

"No. Not really."

"Oh, that's no problem. Come on, we can help you."

"We?"

"The rest of our team. Come on, I'll introduce you."

Rudy pulled Lincoln over to the team bench where the rest of the team is chatting amongst themselves. The teammates consisted of Doug Funnie, Skeeter Valentine, Patti Mayonnaise, CatDog, Arnold Shortman, Gerald Johansson, Snap, Penny Sanchez, Tucker Carbuncle, and Harvey Beaks.

"Hey guys," Rudy arrived with Lincoln. "I'd like you to meet our new teammate. Lincoln Loud. Lincoln, I'd like you to meet the rest of our teammates. This is Doug, Patti, Skeeter, CatDog, Arnold, Gerald, Snap, Penny, Tuck and Harvey."

"Hey Lincoln!" Harvey and Tuck said in unison.

"Hey guys," he waved back.

"You know those two?" Rudy asked.

"Tuck is friends with two of my sisters," Lincoln replied.

"And Lincoln and I met when I was working at a restaurant," Harvey answered.

"It's a bit of a long story. How come I've never actually seen you before?"

"We actually come from a bunch of different places," Rudy answered. "For instance, I'm from Plainville."

"And we're from Bluffington," Doug claimed.

"Nearburg," said Cat.

"Tremorton," Tuck claims.

"Littlebark," said Harvey.

"What about you?" Lincoln asked Arnold.

"Oh you know. Just a suburban neighborhood," he answered.

"So, what brings you guys here?"

"It's a bit of a tradition that we do," Rudy explains. "You see, every year we travel to different places for the annual wiffle ball tournament. It's always us against our rivals. This is our first time we get to play in Royal Woods."

"Really? Is it just you guys, or are there more?"

"Well we do have a few friends from Ocean Shores, but they're more interested in ' _extreme_ ' sports."

"Eh, we've got enough teammates already," his pal Snap said.

"Who are you guys playing against anyway?" Lincoln asked.

Suddenly, the team hears the sound of footsteps. As it turns out, it came from their rival team. Which consisted of Wolfgang, Reggie Bullnerd, Roger Klotz, The Greaser Dogs and their team leader Chandler.

"You shouldn't have come here, Larry."

Lincoln was not amused. "Oh hi Chandler."

"You should have just stayed at home where you belong."

"That's what I told my mom."

"You think you can just waltz right here and show me up? Do you? Well wiffle ball is my thing! And I work very hard to get where I am!"

"Hey, hey, hey!" Snap intervenes. "Cut the kid some slack!"

"Yeah!" Tuck steps in. "Take your trash talk somewhere else!"

Chandler scoffs. "Whatever. Come on troops. This is a waste of time." Chandler and the rivals walked off, but Lincoln was still pretty irritated.

"What is wrong with that guy?" Gerald asked.

"Don't ask," Lincoln growls.

"Ah, don't worry about him," Harvey assures. "Let's just play."

* * *

Finally, the game begins. Everyone is in the bleachers, including Lincoln's parents and sisters.

"This is gonna be sweet!" Lynn said with eager.

"I just hope Lincoln doesn't turn out to be a fibber like last time," Lana complains.

"Knowing Lincoln, this might as well be a hoax," Lola replies.

" _Ladies and gentlemen!"_ The announcer declared. " _The starting lineup for the Unity Squad! First we have the young artist himself! The boy with the chalk, Rudy Tabootie!"_

"Tabootie?" As soon as Lynn and Lana heard Rudy's last name, they burst into laughter.

" _And next, we have a newcomer, all the way from Bloatsburg, the Smash Adams and Quailman himself, Doug Funnie!_ "

Doug, Patti and Skeeter move forward.

" _And next, we have a little mini all the way from Tremorton. The pint sized protégé, Tucker Carbuncle!"_

Tuck stepped forward. "I really wish they wouldn't call me 'pint sized'."

" _Next is two kids from a little suburban neighborhood. One with a football head, the other with a stack of hair. Give it up for Arnold and Gerald!"_

Arnold and Gerald join up with the rest of the team.

" _Next is the Bicranial quadruped. A feline and canine. Alone in the world lives a little CatDog!"_

"Thank you! Thank you!" However, Cat's praise received nothing but dead silence and cricket chirps. "Very funny. Let's all laugh at the freak."

" _Coming up, all the way from the wildness of Littlebark Grove. The fine feathered companion, Harvey Beaks!_ "

Harvey ran up to join the team.

" _And finally, we have our latest addition. This young boy comes from a house of 10 sisters. The guy who does what he can to survive. The man with the plan himself, Lincoln Loud!"_

As Lincoln approaches slowly, the entire crowd cheers, including his own family.

The crowd turned over to the other side of the field.

" _And over here, we have the undefeated champions: The Rival Squad!"_

On the other side of the field, Wolfgang, Reggie, Roger, The Greasers and Chandler approach. Both teams began glaring at each other.

" _Play ball!"_

Both teams are planning out strategies.

Rudy began reading the clipboard. "Okay, let's see here. I'm the catcher so Doug, you're on first base. Tuck: shortstop, Arnold: pitcher, CatDog: third base, Harvey: left field, Penny: right field, Lincoln: center field and Snap, you're on second base. Everyone else, we'll rotate during innings."

Everyone heads to their positions. But Lincoln stayed behind. "Uh, Rudy? Maybe you shouldn't put me in center field."

Rudy was surprised to hear what Lincoln said. "What are you talking about?"

"Remember what Chandler said? I'm just not meant to be here."

"Ah don't let them get to you Link. Just go out there and show them what you're made of."

"Okay. I'll join in, but I won't like it."

" _You_ won't like it? How do you think _I_ feel?" Tuck intervenes. "Every game we play, it's always the same. I always end up being a short stopper. Why? Because I'm _short_! I hate it when when the world treats me like a stereotype!"

"And I hate having to hear you _complain_ about it!" Snap butted in. "Now let's play ball!"

* * *

The game had already started. Roger Klotz was batting first while Arnold was pitching.

Out in center field, Lincoln was still unsure. "I don't know about this guys."

"Relax Lincoln. You'll be fine," Harvey assures.

"Yeah," Tuck said. "You got nothing to worry about."

"Easy for you to say. Everyone knows how to play this game but me."

"Not the way _we_ play," Snap said with a smirk. " _We_ extend things a bit. You'll learn as you go on."

"Maybe you're right. Maybe if I just keep my eyes on the ball, I'll be fine." Lincoln then noticed that everyone was staring at him uneasily. "And I just missed the ball, didn't I?" Everyone nods as Lincoln saw the ball was right at his feet. "Dang it!"

* * *

Soon it became Lincoln's turn to bat. It was also Chandler's pitch.

"Hey Loud! Are you ready to find out why they call me….The Zinger!?"

"Just throw the ball already!" Lincoln groaned.

Chandler threw the ball as Lincoln tried to hit it. Unfortunately he missed.

"Zing!"

" _Strike one!"_

Lincoln tried hitting the next one, but ended up missing again.

" _Strike two!"_

Finally, the last came in rapidly fast. Lincoln swung the bat so hard that he fell face down on the ground.

" _And that's strike three! You are out!"_

Lincoln's sisters watched from the crowd.

Leni was disappointed. "Oh."

"The ump is blind!" Lynn shouts.

"This is a rip-off!" Lana protested.

Chandler was the only one amused. "I'm incredible!"

Lincoln got up from the ground as the rest of the team came to him.

"Lincoln! You okay?" Rudy asked.

"Hey, don't sweat it pal," Snap assures.

"Yeah," Cat agrees. "Being out isn't so bad."

"It happens to us all the time," Harvey said.

However, despite their encouraging words, Lincoln was completely fed up. "That's it! I'm done! I give up!" Lincoln stormed off into the bleachers.

Rudy took note of this and made a T symbol with his hands. "Alright everyone. Time out!" Rudy heads to the bleachers. "Hey Lincoln. You alright?"

"No! No I'm not! I'm fed up! I'm mad as heck and I'm not gonna take it anymore! This game's too confusing, the rivals keep taunting me, there's nothing to eat, and I just wanna go home!" Lincoln then kicks the bats making them fall like dominos.

"Whoa, whoa, kid. I think you just need to take a deep breath and calm down a bit."

Lincoln does so. After that, he felt a little more calm. "Sorry Rudy. I'm just tired. I wouldn't even be out here if it wasn't for my mom."

"Join the club. I get it. You're not used to being outside much. But it's actually not that bad."

"I guess. But why is this game so important to you guys anyway?"

"You really wanna know?"

Lincoln nods.

"Okay. You see, we've never won a wiffle ball game against the rivals. We've never even scored a single point. And lately they only seem interested in teasing and giving us the business."

Lincoln felt sympathetic. "Boy, I bet that's frustrating."

"Yeah. It's kinda like no matter what we do, they _still_ treat us the same way they've _always_ treated us. Like losers."

"Well, we're _not_ gonna be losers!"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I'm gonna help you guys! If those rivals are gonna tease us, then it's time to show them who's boss! It's time to show those losers what a bunch of average kids can really do! It's time to get back in the game!" Lincoln marched out of the bleachers.

Rudy looks towards the audience. "I knew he'd come around."

* * *

The team was still at first base wondering what to do next.

"So what are we supposed to do now?" Asked Dog.

"I guess there's nothing left to do," Skeeter answers. "Except throw in the towel."

"Oh no you won't!" The teammates turned to see Lincoln coming back. "Because you've got me!"

"You mean…."

"Yep. I'm back in the game," Lincoln confirms. "So what are we supposed to do?"

"Okay. The game plan is simple," Snap explains. "All we gotta do is hit the might out of the ball, run around all the bases and get back to home base without getting tagged. Then Ha-Ha! You're home!"

"Home?"

"Home free."

"Unfortunately," Arnold further elaborated. "Someone always tags us before we can make it."

"What we need is someone who's willing to take the risk," said Cat.

"But who?" Tuck asked.

While the others were thinking, Lincoln raised his hand. "I'll do it."

The others looked surprised.

"Are you sure you're cool with this, Lincoln?" Asked Harvey.

"I'm sure. This our only chance to beat the rivals. If this is a chance to at least score one point, that's a chance I'm willing to take."

"I do admire his determination," Penny whispers.

"Alright Lincoln," Rudy announces. "You're up!"

Lincoln nods and marches right up to home base.

"You're going down, Loud!" Chandler pitches the ball once again, which Lincoln misses.

"No fair! That was too fast!" Lincoln stomps furiously.

The next ball came in and Lincoln missed that one too. So much so that he ended up falling on his butt. "Ow! You did it again!"

"Lincoln," Rudy called. "Remember what I told you."

Lincoln then got back on his feet. "Alright Lincoln. You can do it. You just gotta focus."

As the next ball came, Lincoln closed his eyes and swung the bat. And to his surprise…..

" _It's a hit!"_

"Run!" His family shouts. "Lincoln! Run!"

Lincoln ran off to the first base while Chandler was trying to tag him. Fortunately, he wasn't able to keep up and Lincoln was able to make it to first base.

" _Safe!"_

"Go Linky!" Leni calls.

"Woohoo!" Lynn cheers.

Lincoln got up on his feet. "I made it? I made it! I'm gonna get home!"

"Don't be excited, white hair," Chandler taunted. "This is only _first_ base. You've still got _19_ more to go."

Lincoln saw what Chandler was talking about. "Then I'm gonna need a little help from my friends."

* * *

Next, it was Patti's turn to bat.

"Easy out," Chandler said.

This made Patti furious. "What did you say!?" She then smacks the ball really hard and it hit Chandler in the gut.

"Ha! Easy out my butt!" Lynn teases from the crowd.

Lincoln ran over to the next base while the Greaser Dogs were right on his tail. "Quick! CatDog! Run interference for me!"

"You got it, Lincoln!" Dog said.

CatDog stretched themselves causing the Greasers to trip over them. Of course like always, this ticks them off and they all engage in a brawl. When one of the Greasers, Cliff bashes Cat in the head, he becomes completely dazed.

"But mommy. I don't want to go to school today. I want to stay home and bake cookies with you."

Cat clutches on to Cliff's face while the latter tried to pull him off. Finally, the Greasers prepare to give them what for.

"Any last words?" Cliff said.

"Just one," Cat said.

"Safe!" Dog finished.

CatDog pointed to the base where Lincoln was standing, which left the Greasers shocked.

"Beginners luck," says Shriek.

"Yeah, but our beginner's a winner!" Cat said.

* * *

Lincoln was running to the next base. And this time, Reggie Bullnerd was about to tag him.

"I gotcha this time, Loud!"

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Reggie looks up and sees that Snap was standing on his head. "So we meet again!"

Reggie tried to knock him off, but Snap moved too quick, causing Reggie to bonk himself on the head.

Snap then pops out from inside his shirt. "Relax, this'll only hurt for a second."

Snap hid, causing Reggie to punch himself in the face. "I'm sorry. Let's try that again."

The same thing happened again. "You're so cute when you're stupid." And again.

Snap then pops out from the bottom of the shirt. "I'm back! Did you miss me?" Snap hid again and Reggie punches himself in the gut.

Snap then pops out from the back of the pants. "P.U. Man does it stink in there!" Reggie kicks himself in the butt.

Then Snap pops out from the left shoe. "Not any better in here either." Then Reggie kicks himself in the face, knocking him unconscious.

"Way to go Snap!" Rudy congratulates.

"Thanks, but it's really too easy."

"And it looks like Lincoln made it safely," Penny observes.

Indeed, she was right. The diversion bought Lincoln enough time to make it to the next base.

* * *

A few more bases later, it was Roger's turn to try and tag Lincoln.

Elsewhere in the field, Doug was up to bat while also trying to come up with a plan.

"You sure you know what you're doing, man?" Skeeter asked.

"Trust me Skeet," Doug assures. "This is gonna work."

The ball came quickly, and Doug successfully hit it. The ball was set flying in the air and landed right onto Roger's path, causing him to slip and fall.

Once again, thanks to the diversion, Lincoln was able to make it to the base safely.

* * *

Onto the next one, Lincoln was being chased by Wolfgang.

"You're dead mean, shrimp!"

Lincoln turned to the audience. "Okay seriously? Why is it that we're both in fifth grade, but he's more mean and abusive?"

Nearby, Arnold and Gerald were coming up with a plan to stall. "Ready?" Arnold asked.

Gerald nods.

The two boys saw Lincoln leap towards the next base. At the same time, Wolfgang threw the wiffle ball towards him. But suddenly, a football came flying and intersected the wiffle ball's path, making Lincoln safe once again.

"Hey!" Wolfgang shouts. "No fair!"

"Nothing in the rules say that kids can't have fun while they play."

Arnold and Gerald did their signature handshake.

* * *

Finally, all the rivals were chasing after Lincoln towards the next base. And this time, it was now up to Tuck and Harvey.

"You sure you wanna do this, Tuckeroo?" Harvey asked.

"I'm positive. There's only a few more bases left and Lincoln's almost finished." Tuck then crouched down, forming himself into a ball. "Now let's get _rolling_! And Harvey?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't call me Tuckeroo."

"Noted." Harvey picked up Tuck and threw him towards the rivals like a human bowling ball.

Tuck then hits all the rivals in a single strike almost as if they were bowling pins.

"I gotta admit," Tuck said to the viewers. "This is one thing about being small that I actually don't mind."

* * *

Finally, the home base was all that was left.

Lincoln spotted it. "There it is! Home!" Suddenly Lincoln became very exhausted. "But I'm all out of tactical strategies to help me."

"Then I guess you won't make it," Chandler teases.

"Yes I will. I will become victorious!"

"You're becoming stupider."

Lincoln made a run for the home base. Chandler then spotted a bat lying on the ground. He picks it up threw it right towards Lincoln. The bat hit one of his legs, causing him to fall. But despite being in pain, Lincoln still kept his eyes on the home plate.

"I can make it."

Little did he know, the wiffle ball was coming at him really fast. With the base only a few inches away, Lincoln tried desperately to reach it. Finally, he managed to touch the base with his hand before the ball hit him in the back of the head by a close second. Lincoln suddenly collapsed on the ground.

As the rest of the team came up to check on him, the rivals approached as well.

"Well, well, well," Chandler laughs. "I gotta say, the Loud kid's got guts, but you guys are _still_ inferior. Later losers." The rivals then took off.

"Lincoln!" Tuck shouted. "Are you okay?"

"Let me check!" Harvey took Lincoln's arm and felt a pulse on his wrist. "It's okay. He's fine. He's just tuckered out." Harvey then realized what he just said. "Uhh…..no pun intended, Tuck."

"No offense taken."

Harvey then picked Lincoln up while he was still unconscious, and started carrying him on his shoulders. "Maybe it be best if I took him home."

"Good idea."

With that, Harvey carries Lincoln back to his house.

"You have fought well, Lincoln Loud," Dog salutes.

"Yeah," Penny agrees. "We sure were lucky to have him on our team."

"Yeah," Rudy lamented. "Too bad we still lost."

"True," Snap pointed out. "But we did even better than before. Look!"

Everyone took a look at the scoreboard and saw that while the Unity Squad was defeated, they did have their first ever scored point.

"We scored!" Cat observes. "We actually scored!"

"Well how do you like that?" Gerald admires.

While everyone else couldn't believe their eyes, Rudy took a look at Lincoln being carried away by Harvey and gave him a victory smile. "Way to go, Lincoln Loud."

* * *

Back at the Loud house, Lincoln is sitting on the couch alone when he hears a knock at the door. He opens it and saw Rudy and the rest of the teammates from the game.

"Hey Rudy," Lincoln greeted. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We came to congratulate you."

"For what? We lost the game, remember?"

"I know. But we still scored a point. That's one point than we've _ever_ scored before."

"Yeah," Snap agrees. "And we'll be even better with our new teammate."

Lincoln was confused. " _New_ teammate?"

Rudy took out a medallion from his pocket. "Lincoln Loud, as a token of our appreciation, we would like to make you an honorary member of our Unity Squad." Rudy put the medal around Lincoln's neck.

Lincoln was quite flattered. "Thanks guys. That really means a lot. You guys wanna hang out?"

"Sure."

All the nicktoon characters came in through the door and went to the living room.

* * *

 **And there's my 50th chapter. Now to be honest, I wanted to do something that would be special. And what better way to present it than with a mega crossover?**

 **Honestly, I had a lot of fun doing this story. Not only did it remind me of the _Chowder_ episode _Sniffleball_ , but it also reminded me of the movie _Space Jam._**

 **Also, for those of you who have read my other fanfic _The Loud House gets Stranded_ , there's a reason why I wanted that fanfic finished before this chapter. You see, I wanted to have _Harvey Beaks_ to be in this chapter, but also have these stories be set with a similar continuity. In other words, the _Loud House gets Stranded_ could be considered a prequel to this chapter.**

 **Now I know what you're probably thinking. But this fanfic is far from over. This will continue with more stories, but it may take a while.**

 **So be patient, stay tuned for more, and thanks for reading.**

 **So long everybody.**

 **And a happy New Year!**


	51. Time Trouble

**Now it's time to try out something new. For those of you who have seen _the Penguins of Madagascar_ (Dreamworks/Nickelodeon), this story is a parody of the episode _It's about time_.**

* * *

The kids are all in the living room sitting on the couch as Lisa demonstrates another one of her inventions.

"Siblings, I present to you another one of my greatest creations. Behold, the portal to enter the past and future. Presenting, the chronomatic!"

Lisa shows a diagram of the invention on her presentation board, but the rest of her siblings were confused.

"So it's like a time machine?" Lincoln asked.

"Well, technically yes."

"Then why not just call it a _time machine_?" Lola states.

Of course, Lisa is annoyed by this. "Oh _sure_. And while we're at it, why don't we just call Peter Pan a boy in tights, or a crater a giant hole, or Spongebob SquarePants Mr CheeseHead?!"

"Wait!" Leni interrupts. "Spongebob is a block of cheese?"

Lisa slapped her forehead. "The point is with this invention, we can visit any point in history. Unfortunately it requires 5 ounces of chronisium 493. Luckily I have been able to find some located at the Science Institute. However, I require your assistance."

"Well if it's the one thing you need to complete the time machine, I guess I'm in." Lynn raises her hand.

"Well if she's in, then I guess I am too," Lincoln said.

"So are we," the rest of the girls shouted.

* * *

Over at the institute, the Louds are all searching in the laboratory.

"The chronisium should be in here somewhere," Lisa said.

"Okay everyone," Lori ordered. "Spread out."

All the kids went their separate ways.

Meanwhile Lincoln was busy looking around a nearby desk. Suddenly a portal opened up right behind him. A second Lisa pops up right behind him.

"LINCOLN!"

Suddenly, Lincoln got startled and turned around. "Lisa! Don't sneak up on me like that! I'm already used to Lucy popping up everywhere. I don't need _another_ sister doing it."

"I apologize. But that's not important!" She panicked. "You've got to stop me!"

"Uh….okay. Lisa, stop. Please!"

Lisa slaps her forehead. "No! Not _me_ me! _That_ me!" The second Lisa points to the other Lisa from the present time. (To make it less confusing, the one from the future shall be named Lisa #2).

Lincoln was surprised. "Wow! There's _two_ of you? How are you doing that? Mirrors? Or is that just Lily in a disguise?"

"Lincoln. Name _one_ time I have _ever_ pulled a prank or even _told_ a joke."

Lincoln thought for a minute before realizing… "You are from the future! Tell me! What's the future like! Do I get married to Ronnie-Anne and have a child with another one on its way?"

"Sorry. I'm afraid I cannot answer that."

Lincoln looks disappointed.

"Don't worry. I have high hopes for you elder brother. But we have more pressing matters to attend to!" Lisa #2 explains. "If my past incarnation completes the chronomatic, it will result in nothing but chaos!"

"So why don't _you_ just go tell yourself?" Lincoln asked. "I'm sure you'd listen to you."

"I'm afraid I cannot do that. If I meet up with my present self, it could cause a rip in the space time continuum!"

"Okay….that's bad then."

The present Lisa has found what she has been searching for. "Ah-ha! Here we go! 5 ounces of chronisium 493!"

Lisa #2 grabs Lincoln by the shoulders and began shaking him rapidly. "You've got to get that chronisium Lincoln! Or the entire universe is doomed!"

"Okay! Okay! I'll do it! Just please stop shaking me!"

Lisa #2 lets go. "Terribly sorry. Now go!"

* * *

On the way back home, the kids were all chatting amongst themselves, while Lincoln was trying to steal the chronisium from Lisa.

However, Lisa was completely oblivious to what Lincoln was doing. "Ahh….the wonders of time travel. Think of all the historical figures we'll be able to meet. History will unfold before our very eyes. And it's all thanks to this chronisium 493."

"Yeah," Lincoln said. "Say, Lisa. Do you mind if I hold that for a minute?"

"Well Okay, but just be careful—AAAHH!"

As soon as Lisa hands Lincoln the bottle, he 'accidentally' dropped it on the ground and stomped on it with his foot. "Oops. I've spilled it."

"My chronisium! It's ruined!"

"Oh gee, sorry Lisa. I guess no time travel for us."

"That's quite alright elder brother." Suddenly Lisa pulls out another test tube from her pocket. "Luckily I grabbed a spare. It pays to be prepared."

Lincoln was exasperated. "Dang it."

* * *

The kids are back at the house.

"It'll just take me a few minutes to install the chronisium," Lisa explains.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wake me up when it's time travel time." Lynn puts on her sunglasses and lies back in her lawn chair in the front yard.

"And I should probably finish up with my new dress designs," Leni said as she and Lori went into the house.

"And we have some performance practice sessions to attend to," Lola said referring to herself, Luna, Luan and Lucy.

"Very well," Lisa complies. "Lana, I request your assistance."

"Right behind you Lisa." Lana follows Lisa into the house, leaving Lincoln and Lynn alone.

Lincoln then heard a whistle and noticed that Lisa #2 was on the other side of the house, motioning him to go over to her.

"Uh….excuse me Lynn. I have to go….do something…..over there. I'll be right back."

"Whatever you say, little bro," Lynn said.

Lincoln made it to the other side of the house.

* * *

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T DESTROY THE CHRONISIUM?!"

"I'm really sorry future Lisa," Lincoln apologized. "I tried. But then your past self had a spare."

Lisa #2 slaps her forehead in dismay. "Confound my efficiency! It's no use! Our universe is DOOMED!"

"This is getting exasperating. If only you could explain this to yourself without destroying the space time continuum."

"I'm afraid it's not that simple." Lisa #2 then got an idea. "Or _is_ it?"

* * *

Back in the house, Lisa is in her room finishing the time machine. Lana was helping.

"Wrench."

"Wrench." Lana hands Lisa her wrench.

"Pliers."

"Pliers." Lana took out a pair of pliers and handed them to Lisa.

"6 quarts of heavy oil."

Lana actually took out 7 quarts instead. "I've got _7_ quarts."

Lisa took it anyway.

Lincoln then came into the room holding an oversized hat box. "Hey guys."

"Hello Lincoln," Lisa greets before noticing what he was holding. "What's with the box?"

"Hats? Why? What's so suspicious about a boy and his hat box?"

"Nothing….except you don't wear a hat."

Lincoln looks up and sees nothing but white hair on his head. "Oh, you're right. By the way, that reminds me Lisa. Have you ever considered the dangers of a chronological pair of ducks?"

Lincoln hears a whisper from inside the box.

"I mean a chronological _paradox_?"

Lisa started thinking. "A chronological paradox? Are you insinuating that the chronomatic could quite possibly cause a time-spatial distortion?"

Lincoln was a little confused. "I am?" He hears the whisper again. "I mean _yes_. Yes I am."

"Eisenstein's toupee! I didn't think of that at all! This could spell the end of the universe!"

"So I've heard."

* * *

In the backyard, Lynn was lounging on a chair when another portal opens next to her and another Lisa jumps out (who shall be named Lisa #3).

"Lynn! There you are! You've got to stop me!"

Lynn kicks Lisa #3 in the face without getting up. "There. You're stopped."

"No! Not _me_ me! The me that _isn't_ me!"

"Say what now?"

"Ugh! Come with me!" Lisa #3 dragged Lynn back into the house, and upstairs to Lisa's room where she was pointing to her past self, who was attempting to destroy the time machine.

Lynn was surprised. "Whoa! There's _two_ of you! You're from the future! Tell me, do I ever get a chance to do a slam dunk in the olympics?"

"Sorry, I do not know of that."

Lynn then lost her smile. "Oh."

"But we have more pressing concerns. Another future me has come to this time to convince the present me to destroy the chronomatic, which I've learned is the key to protecting our universe."

"Great. Just great. My one chance to visit the past and check out the distant future, and all we get are _more_ Lisas."

"Not to worry Lynn. I have just the idea."

* * *

"And so ends the dream of time travel." Lisa prepares to destroy the chronomatic, but finds herself unable to. "I can't! You do it Lana! You're the best at destroying things."

"Okay." Lana took out her sledgehammer and prepared to smash the machine.

Suddenly, Lynn came in the room with a sack. "Oh, hey there everybody. What's going on?"

Lincoln was getting suspicious. "Uh….Lynn? What's with the sack?"

"Laundry. Why? What's so suspicious about a girl and a sack of laundry?"

"Nothing. But _why_ do you have that with you?"

"Duh! Because they need to be _washed_."

"But Lori already washed our clothes _yesterday_."

"Well…...maybe they need _extra_ washing!"

"Can we just get back to crushing my dreams?!" Lisa shouts.

"Say Lisa. Have you ever considered the…..uh…" Lynn listened to the whisper from inside the sack. "Right…..the reverse chronological dilation backlash?"

"Puking plutonium! I didn't think of that either!" Lisa stopped Lana from smashing the test tube. "Perhaps the chronomatic is safe after all."

Lincoln then listened from inside the box he was holding. "But the quantum entanglements _disrupt_ any chronological backlash."

"I suppose that's true." Lana prepares to smash.

Lynn took a listen from inside the sack. "Yet the quantum entanglements _dissent_ in the presence of some photonics gobbledygook whatever-it-is."

Lincoln and Lynn then started arguing against each other.

"Okay, I can't follow _any_ of this," Lana said.

"Look Lincoln! Lisa's finishing the time machine and that's final!" Lynn grabs the chronisium test tube.

"Lynn, I'm sorry. Please forgive me for this." Lincoln took a deep breath and lunges towards his older sister. The two began wrestling over the test tube and unknowingly knocked both Lisa and Lana head first into a trash can.

Suddenly, the test tube slipped out of Lynn's hand and went right out the window. Both siblings rushed downstairs to go get it. Lincoln made it down first and managed to get the chronisium. But then Lynn tackles him to the ground.

"Let go of it, bro!"

"Never!"

"Lincoln! Listen to me! I have a Lisa from the future who…"

"Wait!" Lincoln got Lynn off of him. " _You_ have a Lisa from the future? _I_ have a Lisa from the future! And _mine_ said that the chronomatic should be _destroyed_."

"Well _mine_ says it should be _saved_."

"Oh man! This is confusing! Which Lisa do we listen to?"

"I say…...the one that gets me a slam dunk in the olympics!" Lynn took the tube from Lincoln before knocking him to the ground and running away.

"Hey no fair! Come back here!" Lincoln ran back into the house.

* * *

Lynn dashes back to Lisa's room. "Okay Lisa! I've got the chronisium! Fire up the machine!"

Lisa #2 emerged from the hat box. "I can't let you do that, Lynn!"

Then Lisa #3 escaped from the sack. "And I can't let _you_ do that!"

Suddenly, Lincoln made it to the room and was indeed shocked by what he saw. "Ahhhh! Two Lisas! It's the end of the universe!"

Lisa #2 scoffs. "Don't get your hair in a bunch, Lincoln. As long as the _present_ Lisa doesn't see us, we should be…"

At that moment, Lisa and Lana knocked over the garbage can. After the recovery, Lana spotted the two Lisas from the future. "Whoa! Lisa! You gotta see this!"

"See what?" Lisa looks to what Lana was pointing at and was incredibly surprised. "Holy Heisenberg!"

"Dang it," the two Lisas said.

The present Lisa (whom as you guess will be referred to as Lisa #1) approaches her future selves. "Are…..are you…..I mean _mes_ from the future?"

"Precisely."

"Wow. I always knew I would still keep my charm." Lisa #1 soon realized something. "Wait a minute! The three of us together at the same time…..the danger….it could cause a rip in the space time continuum…...it could destroy the very fabric of the universe!" Suddenly a vortex opens up right behind her.

"You mean like _that_?" Lisa #1 turns around and saw the rift.

As everyone watched as the rip began sucking everything into it.

Just then, the rest of the girls rushed in.

"What is literally going on here?" Lori asked.

"Oh nothing much," Lynn answered sarcastically. "Except the fact that our universe is being DESTROYED!"

Suddenly, the rip began to suck them in too, but everyone grabs onto something.

"Well this sucks," Luan jokes. "Get it? But seriously, what do we do?!"

"I believe there's only _one_ thing left to do!" Lisa #1 went up to the time machine to switch it on. "I _never_ should have invented this time machine! I should have _destroyed_ it when I had the chance! That's it! Lincoln! I'll go back in time and talk to Lincoln! He'll stop me before any of this happens!" Lisa #1 then jumps through the portal.

"And so _that's_ how I got here," Lisa #2 explains.

"You know, it's kind of ironic," Lincoln wonders. "If you _never_ invented the time machine in the first place, then you couldn't go back in time to tell yourself _not_ to invent it."

"Jumping Jupiter! It's a paradox!" Lisa #2 ran up to the machine. "I have to make sure I _do_ invent the time machine! Lynn! I'll go back in time and talk to Lynn! She's the only hope for the future!" Lisa #2 jumps through the portal.

"And so that's how _I_ got here," Lisa #3 explains (whom will be referred to as just Lisa for the rest of the story).

"So we're back to just _one_ Lisa then?" Lynn asked.

"Afraid so."

"Well don't keep us in suspense," Lola says. "How do we stop it?!"

"We can't! It'll just get bigger and bigger!" Suddenly the rift closes for a minute. "And then it'll stop for a while." But then it opens back up again. "But it'll get bigger still! Eventually it'll swallow the whole universe!"

At that moment, one of the sisters, Lana, had enough. So she went over, unplugged the time machine and threw it into the vortex, causing it to close up.

"Lana!" Lincoln cheers. "You did it!"

"Ain't nothing to it but to do it," Lana said dusting her hands off.

However, Lisa was still trying to process all this. "But…...but…...that shouldn't have worked! It breaks all the known rules of the universe!"

"That's why I call Lana a maverick," Lola says. "She makes her _own_ rules."

"Yep," Lana agrees.

"But….that paradox!"

"What difference does it make?" Lori chimes in. "The universe is saved."

"More importantly," Lynn adds. " _We're_ saved."

"But-but-but-The universe!"

Lincoln tried to calm her down. "Lisa! Get a grip! Everything's fixed. Problem solved. Now maybe try to invent something that _won't_ destroy everything."

"Like…an ice cream machine!" Lola suggests.

"Yeah! Ice cream!" Lana shouts.

Lisa gave that suggestion a little thought. "Ice cream….."

* * *

Minutes later, Royal Woods is completely covered with ice cream due to another one of Lisa's inventions. Even the Loud house was half buried and Lincoln was right in front of it.

"Lisa…...YOU MANIAC!" Lincoln dropped to his knees and began pounding the ground. "You did it! You finally really did it!"

Lisa came up with an empty cone in her hand and used it to scoop up the ice cream. "Yeah. But you gotta admit, this is good ice cream."

Lincoln took the extra ice cream cone. "Oh sure. Totally worth it."


	52. Lola’s Fury

**And now, may I present, a _Loud House_ parody of the _DragonTales_ (Jim Coane/Ron Rodecker) episode _The Fury is out on this one_. **

**Now before I begin, I would like to say a few things. This chapter was inspired by a previous request from Mpatton17 about Leni being trapped inside a bubble. It was then I realized that I actually had a lot of fun writing that story and started thinking that there was a lot of _DragonTales_ episodes I can do _Loud House_ versions of. So I will be doing a few more stories similar to that starting with this one.**

 **Hope you enjoy.**

* * *

In the twins bedroom, Lola is busy making a sculpture of herself out of toothpicks. "Stay up. Come on. Stay up. Just one more."

Suddenly the sculpture began to tip over. "No. Not that way." Unfortunately, the toothpick sculpture just fell to pieces. "Dang it!" Lola then kicks the toothpicks around and sat on the floor pouting.

Just then, Lana came into the room. "Hey Lola. What's wrong?"

"My stupid toothpick sculpture keeps falling apart!"

"Come on Lols. We can make another sculpture later. How about we go see what everyone else is up to?"

"Well…."

"I'll bet there might be something going on."

"Oh, okay."

* * *

Outside the backyard, the kids were all playing tag. Luna was it, and she began chasing Lincoln.

"I'm gonna get you little bro!" Luna said.

"Oh no you're not!" However, Lincoln trips on a rock causing him to fall face down into a mud puddle.

Luna tagged him. "You're it!"

Lincoln got back on his feet. "Here I come!"

Luna kept on running to avoid getting tagged. Suddenly, Lola and Lana came out through the back door as Lincoln almost ran into them.

"Yo twins! Hurry! We're playing tag and Lincoln's it!" Luna ran off.

"Not anymore!" Lincoln then tagged Lola. "Sorry Lola. Now _you're_ it!"

Lana ran off. "Can't catch me, Lola!"

"Oh yeah? I'm really fast!" Lola chased after the two.

Then Lisa popped her head out of a bush. "Hey Lola! I'm over here!"

Lola stopped and saw Leni's head come out of the same bush. "And _I'm_ over _here_!"

Lola rushes to the bush, only to find that neither Leni nor Lisa were there. "Hey! Where'd you go?"

"Up here!" Lola looks up and saw that both of them were floating in midair using Lisa's hover drone.

"No fair!"

"Nothing in the rules that say kids can't have fun while they play," Lisa explains.

Lola tried jumping up into the sky to reach, but found it impossible to do so. "I can't reach!"

Lincoln then came running by. "Hey Lola! Try and catch _me_!" Lola chases after Lincoln trying to tag him. Lincoln then stopped at a nearby blueberry bush for a second. "Mmmm…...blueberries! My favorite!" Lincoln began eating a few just as Lola was catching up.

"I got you now!"

Lincoln dives out of the way, causing Lola to crash into the bush. "Woah! Lola! Are you okay?"

Lola gets her head out of the bush, but is really furious. "It's not fair! I can't tag anyone!"

The rest of the kids came in. "Come on, Lola," Lana said. "It's just a game."

"Yeah," Lynn agrees. "You don't have to get mad."

"Well I _am_ mad!" Lola said as she stomped her foot. "How can I catch anyone? I'm not even fast! You're all too good! I hate tag!" Lola found a weird looking pod underneath the bush and threw it against the tree causing it to break in half.

The Loud kids all gasped. "Holy Shamoly!"

Out of the pod came a little blue creature with a long tail. "Yeah hoo! I'm free! Which means that somebody around here must be mad." The creature spotted Lola with a scowl on her face. "And I'm betting it's _you_."

"Who are you?" Lola asked.

"I'm a Fury." Then steam whistled out of the creature's head. "So tell me. What made you so angry?"

"I never ever get anybody at tag!"

"Oh, you are mad!" The Fury began growing a little bigger. "Tell me more."

"And everyone's faster than me!"

The Fury laughed and grew bigger still. The others took note of this.

"Look," said Leni. "That furry's getting bigger!"

"Indeed," Lisa agrees.

"Anything else bugging you?" The Fury asked. "Blowing a fuse? Driving up the wall?"

However, Lana dragged Lola away. "Hey! Leave my sister alone!"

"Yeah!" Shouted Lincoln.

"Hey! _I_ didn't make her mad!" The Fury ran off, but not before turning around one last time. "I'll be back!" With that, he was gone.

"I don't like the sound of that," Luna said.

"That Fury really ticks me off," Luan said. "And that's no joke."

"Who was that guy?" Lola asked.

"I don't know." Then Lincoln found the pod that was thrown against the tree and picked it up. "But I think we better find out."

* * *

Back inside the house, Lucy is searching through her book of mythical creatures.

"I didn't know you had one of these, Lucy," Lincoln stated.

"There's a _lot_ of things you don't know about me, big brother." Finally, Lucy found the right page. "Here it is. It says that furies are magical creatures who love to see people angry. Because they grow and grow when you can't calm down."

"Fascinating," Lisa stated. "It appears that the Fury seems to be amplified as justified by our young sister's aggression levels."

"I think it's just getting bigger because Lola's getting angrier," Lana said.

Lisa groaned. "I just said that."

"Well how do we get rid of him?" Lola asked.

"That's up to _you_ Lola," Lucy answered. "Since _you_ let the Fury out of the pod, _you_ are the only one who can put him back inside."

"But that Fury won't fit," Lincoln says. "He's already too big."

"Yeah," Lynn agrees. "He keeps getting bigger and bigger."

"I know it might not be easy for you Lola," Lucy said. "But if you can calm down when you're around the Fury, the Fury will get smaller and smaller."

Lola was a little surprised. "You mean I can't get mad? Ever?"

"Not necessarily. Everyone gets angry sometimes. The trick is to calm down after you do."

"But how can I calm down? When I get mad, I get…..so mad!"

"She's usually right about _that_ ," Lana stated. "But don't worry sis. We'll help you."

Lincoln steps in. "We all will."

Lola smiles, and everyone hears a voice coming from outside the front yard.

"Hey guys! Come here!"

The kids ran out to the front yard.

"What is it Leni?" Lori asked.

"Look!" Leni was pointing to a bunch of massive footprints in their yard. "What do you think made these."

"Well it's definitely not _me_ ," Lana said. "My shoe size is only 11.5. My feet aren't _that_ big."

"Neither are _mine_ ," Lisa said.

Lincoln lined up his foot. "And they _definitely_ aren't _mine_. That means the Fury must've gone this way! Come on!"

The kids all followed the footprints leading to a log over a stream.

"Here Lola. Let me help you," Lana offers.

"I don't need help! I can take care of myself!" Unfortunately, Lola lost her balance and fell into the stream.

"Are you okay?" Lincoln asked.

Clearly Lola was not fine. "No fair! I always go last! And I'm always falling down!"

Just then, the Fury came out of a bush. "Is someone here getting a little a angry? Steam about to boil over?"

"Yeah! Me!"

Just like that, the Fury grew larger. "I love a good tantrum in the morning! Oh goody! You're still mad!"

"What am I gonna do? I don't know how to get _un_ -mad!"

Luna came up with an idea. "Well whenever we got mad, mom and dad used to tell us…."

"...to sit on a quiet pillow until we calm down," Luan finished.

The Fury just laughs and splashed water in the Louds' direction.

"Well that's one way to _cool_ someone off," Luan jokes.

"Does anybody have a quiet pillow by any chance?" Lincoln asked.

"Let me check." Lisa took a little cube out of her pocket.

"Hey, is that a…"

"Infinite storage cube? Why yes it is." Lisa reaches into the cube and pulls out an umbrella. "Nope." She then pulls out a sombrero. "Nope."

"Let me try." Lana reaches into the cube and managed to find something. "What? I can't believe I found it!"

"A quiet pillow?" Lola asked.

"No." Lana pulls out a rubber ducky. "My rubber ducky! I've been looking everywhere for it! Oh Stephen, how I've missed you!" The rest of her siblings stare at her. "What? I'm only _six_ years old. Deal with it."

"What about my pillow?"

Luan immediately spotted something else. "Aha!" What she found was just a rock.

"Aha what?" Lynn said. "It's a _rock_!"

"Not _just_ a rock Lynn. We can make this a _quiet_ rock. Since we don't have a quiet _pillow_. Sit down Lola."

Lola climbs up on the rock and sits down. "Now what?"

"Take _deep_ breaths."

Lola started breathing, but rather quickly.

"Not so fast, dudette," Luna instructs. "Like this. In." Luna breathed in slowly. "And out." Then she let it out.

Lola did the same thing and it seemed to be working. The Fury then mad his way over.

"Hey Lola, whatcha doing?" He asked.

"I'm sitting on my quiet rock," she claims. "And i'm getting un-mad."

The Fury began getting smaller.

"It's working, Lola!" Lincoln cheers. "The Fury's shrinking!"

"Lola! Don't you wanna stay mad?" The Fury asked. "Remember how you felt when you couldn't catch anyone playing tag and when you were stuck going last?"

Lola covered her ears. "I'm on my quiet rock! Go away!" Unfortunately the rock turns out to actually be a tortoise. It got up and walked away, causing Lola to fall in the water.

"Mental note: next look for rock that _doesn't_ walk away," Lisa states.

Lola starts getting mad again. "Oh great!"

"Oh she's getting mad!" The Fury observes. "I can feel it!"

"It's no fair! I'm always falling, and getting bumped and going last, and I _hate_ it!"

"Ah, music to my ears." The Fury grew larger and ran off once again.

"I tried," Lola sulks.

"We know Lola," Lincoln consoled.

"But hey, at least you calmed down for a _little_ while," Lana said.

Lola perks up. "Yeah. I guess I _did_. Maybe I can try again."

"That's the spirit dudette!" Luna says.

"Come on!" Lynn encourages. "We gotta go find him!"

* * *

The Louds went back to searching, when Luan spots the Fury. "Over there!"

The kids spotted the Fury hopping over a large pile of rocks.

"That fury's so big now!" Lincoln says. "What if he _never_ stops growing?"

"I wouldn't want to think about it," Lynn said.

"I concur," Lisa agrees.

The kids reached over the rock wall, but Lola wasn't able to reach.

"Hey! I can't see!" Lola tried climbing up on her sisters' shoulders, but ended up falling back onto a fern. "Where is he?! I never get to see _anything_!"

"Lola!" Lana said. "Sis! Stay calm!"

"I can't! I can't! I…" Lola jumps furiously, but the fern ended up bouncing her over the rock wall.

The Fury turned around fast and saw her land on the ground. "Oh goody! Look who's here! Still mad I hope."

"Leave me alone!" She shouted.

"I love it when you stay mad!" The Fury grew gargantuan.

The rest of the kids were surprised.

"That thing's bigger than _me_!" Lori says with shock.

Lana starts to panic. "What do we do?"

Lincoln started thinking, and something popped into his head. "Guys! I've got it! Counting backwards! That's what mom and dad told me to do whenever I get mad at you guys! Then I don't think about being mad anymore!"

"That might literally work!" Lori says.

Lincoln turned to his little sister. "Lola! Try counting backwards!"

"Okay. Let's see….10….8….3…." but Lola was too frustrated. "Oh I don't remember how!"

"Come on Lola!" The Fury taunted. "Blow off some steam!"

Luan tried to be helpful. "Use your fingers to help you count sis!"

"Yeah! Like this!" Lana held up her hands. "10, 9, 8…."

"...7, 6…" Luna continues.

Lola finishes. "5….4….."

The Fury began shrinking. "Don't listen to your siblings! Stay mad! Do this! And this!" The creature kicked and stomped, but Lola didn't listen.

"...3….."

"It's working Lola!" Lincoln cheers. "It's working!"

"Well how about that," Luan said with impression.

"...3…...uh…..um…...what comes after 3?" Lola began to start over. "10, 9….."

The others joined in as well. "...8, 7, 6…."

The Fury kept on shrinking. "No! No! Stay mad! Throw something! Break something! No more counting!"

"...5, 4, 3, 2, 1!"

"No! No! I'm shrinking! I'm shrinking! I'm shrinking!" Finally the Fury is back to its original size and began running around screaming.

"Here sis." Lana handed her twin the pod and Lola trapped the creature inside.

"Gotcha! I did it! I did it! I didn't stay mad!"

Everyone cheered.

"Thanks everyone. This was one of the hardest things to do, but I'm glad you helped me."

"I helped with the quiet rock," Luan reminds.

"So did I," Luna said.

"I gotta admit little bro," Lynn said to Lincoln. "That counting backwards thing really paid off."

"Told ya," Lincoln replied. "It always worked for _me_."

"Especially considering that _you're_ not one to lose your temper," Lucy states.

"Yeah," Lana pondered. "Come to think of it, I don't think I've _ever_ seen you get mad before."

"Oh I get mad guys," Lincoln clarifies. "I just try to keep it under control so I don't hurt anyone. And myself for that matter."

"Yeah. And I'm proud of you Lola. But you might wanna keep your anger under control."

"Noted," Lola replies.

"Oh, and Lola? There's one thing I forgot." Lincoln tagged Lola and ran off. "You're _still_ it!"

Lola takes a look to the audience. "Well, I guess it's back to our game." She then proceeded to chase everyone.

"Run! Everybody run!"

"I'm gonna tag you!" Lola kept on running until her foot made her trip on a tree root. "Hey! That's no fair! You're all too…."

"Is Lola mad _again_?" Lana asked.

Lola counts on her fingers. "10, 9, 8, 7….." but as Lincoln approached her, she tagged him. "Fooled you! Tag! _You're_ it!" Lola dashes off.

Lincoln turned to the audience. "Well, I guess we all learned something today. One is that you should always try to keep your anger under control. And the other one is that when someone pretends to be mad, _don't_ let them tag you." With that, he took off. "Gotta run!"


	53. The Perfect Gift

**Based on the _Regular Show_ episode _Birthday Gift_.**

* * *

"Hi everyone! I'm Lola!"

"And I'm Lana!"

"I suppose you're all awaiting to hear a story? Well you're in luck. Because I happen to know a great one, starring me!"

"Hey! _I'm_ in this story too you know!"

"I was _getting_ to that!"

" _Sure_ you were, Miss Glory Hog!"

"I told you not to to call me that!"

"Well that's what you're being right now!"

"Well how many of these stories have had _you_ with a starring role?"

"I wish I could name them all, but there are people here who are waiting to hear _this_ one. So could we please get back to the intro?"

"Oh right! Ahem! What we are about to present to you is a true story. A heartwarming tale that involves…..involves…..uh…..what was it about again?"

"Don't tell me you _forgot_!"

"What do you expect? With all the stories we've been doing, they're becoming hard to keep track of!"

"You're lucky I have a stronger memory. We're supposed to be telling a story about what happened on Lincoln's eleventh birthday."

"Oh right. Here it goes."

* * *

It's about a year ago on Lincoln's 11th birthday. Lana is on the roof helping Lincoln and Luna reshingle the tiles.

"I'm so glad that it's our brothers birthday, we got a special present for a very special birthday."

"Lana, how many times have I told you?" Lincoln criticizes. "You can't rhyme with the same words."

"Yeah," Luna agrees. "That's just _careless_ rapping."

"Whatever," Lana scoffs. "It's _still_ a great gift. And you don't even know what it is."

Lincoln chuckles nervously. "Yeah, can't wait. Thanks."

"Don't thank me _yet_ brother. Thank me and Lola tonight where you open it and _love_ it, which I know you _will_. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to use the bathroom."

Lana climbs through the window and into her room. First she made sure nobody was looking. "Pssst! Lola!" She whispered. "You still have the you-know-what?"

Lola pulls out a giant safe from inside her toy chest. Once she opened it, she took out a little gift all wrapped up. "Right here. Perfect hiding place for a perfect gift. Linky's gonna love it."

"Man," Lana sighs. "We give the _best_ birthday gifts."

Just then, the twins overheard Lincoln talking. "You know, I hate to say it, but Lola and Lana give the _worst_ birthday gifts."

"Really bro?" Luna asked. "It sounded like they got you something really _good_."

"Nah, they don't really put any thought into it, and even when they do, they're usually gifts they get for _themselves_. It's okay though. I've gotten used to it."

"Gee, sorry to hear that bro."

"No really. It's okay. I don't wanna hurt their feelings. I'm just happy to know you guys care for me."

The twins then have a flashback of previous gifts they've given him over the years.

Like the time when he was 8 and they gave him a box of donuts, only for him to find out they've eaten them all. Then when he turned 9, they got him a t-shirt that said ' _sisters of birthday boy_ ' on them. And finally, there was the last year when he was 10 and they got him a card with an 'I owe you'.

Flashback ends.

"I can't believe it," Lola said with distraught. "Linky hates our gifts."

"Come on Lola," her twin assures. "Our gifts aren't that bad." Lana unwrapped the gift to reveal that it was a coffee mug that says ' _World's Greatest Sisters_ ' on it. "Okay, maybe you're right."

"Ugh! What are we gonna do? His party starts in a few hours and we don't have time to get this changed! Linky's gonna totally hate us!"

"Don't worry sis! It's all gonna be okay. We'll just get him a _new_ gift. A _better_ one."

* * *

The twins are at the dining room table thinking of ideas.

"Okay, let's think," Lana announces. "What do we get Lincoln?"

"Well whatever it is, it has to be better than _last_ year," Lola answered.

"Hey! That 'I. O. U.' was _your_ idea!"

"Only because _I_ couldn't think of anything! Besides, _you_ agreed to it!"

"Well I didn't know what I was thinking! But you know something?"

"What?"

"We're going off topic."

"You're right. Back to work."

"Let's see, what would he like?"

"Perhaps we could get him a nice custom keychain."

"Lola, what would Lincoln do with a keychain? He's not even old enough to drive a car."

"Just a suggestion. You got any ideas?"

"We could get him a new comic book."

"He's already got a whole _wide selection_ of comic books."

"How about some sneakers?"

"Eh, too lame."

"Hairbrush?"

"A hairbrush? Seriously Lans? That's the _lamest_ of the lame!"

"Yeah, you're right."

"Why don't we get him one of those junior novelty clip-on ties?"

"To match the one _Luan_ got him _last_ year?"

"Dang it! Why is this so gosh darn difficult?"

"Come on Lola! We have to think! What does Lincoln like?"

"Well let's see. He likes making breakfast, reading comics in his underwear, helping us with our hobbies, hanging out with his dorky friends….."

"That's all the stuff he _does_ , Lola. Not stuff he _likes_."

"Well how am _I_ supposed to know? He barely likes any of the stuff that _we_ like!" Lola slams her head on the table. "This isn't like a video game where you can just solve everything in an instant."

Lana then gets an idea. "Lola! That's it! Video games! Lincoln likes video games! We'll get Lincoln a video game!"

"Sis….that's actually a great idea! So glad _I_ thought of it."

Lana just lowers her eyebrows in annoyance.

* * *

Later, the twins are at the mall looking in the video game store.

Lana held up a selection. "What about this one? It's the new _Ace Savvy and the Full House gang turbo thrash brawl_ for the Snap."

"Sold!" Lola then was shocked when she took a look at the price tag. "WHAT?! 60?! That's highway robbery!"

The twins then marched up to the front desk. "Excuse me sir," Lana asked. "Do you have anything cheaper?"

"I guess you're not into quality," the man said. "Feel free to check out the discount bin." He points to the 'discount' bin (which was basically 50 and under).

The twins headed over to the bin and began searching.

"Ugh!" Lola groaned. "These games are lame."

"I know," Lana agrees. "This piece of junk costs 49?"

"We can't afford _any_ of these."

"What can we get for 20?" Lana asked the register. The man in the store just held up a keychain, which made the twins even more exasperated.

"Oh yeah. We are _definitely_ out of here."

* * *

Back at the Loud house, Lola and Lana were sitting in the dining room looking more bummed out than before. Soon, Leni, Luna, Luan and Lynn came in.

"Hey guys," Leni greets. "What's got you two down?"

"We heard Lincoln say today that he doesn't like our gifts," Lana explains. "So we've been trying to get him something good."

"But I guess we'll just have to give him this." Lola held up the mug they got (with the word _sisters_ crossed out and the word _brother_ written underneath it).

Lynn lowers her brows. "You do know you guys can't give him that, right?"

This made the twins groan even more.

"We tried to get him a video game, but they're too expensive," Lana further elaborated. "Now we don't know what to do."

"Listen little dudes," Luna consoled. "If Lincoln really loves you guys, he'll appreciate _anything_ you give him. Just as long as it shows that you care."

"Yeah. Forget what's in the _past_ and worry about the _present_." Luan kidded. "But seriously, you'll figure something out."

The other girls then left.

"Easy for you to say," Lola sighs. "Now _what_ do we do?"

Just then, Lisa pops up in between them. "Siblings, I couldn't help but overhear your current predicament."

"Lisa, have you been eavesdropping on us again?" Lola confronts.

"A young scientist's need for research never rests. But regardless, I'm here to help you out."

"With what?" Lana said.

"What would you say if I told you you could create your own video game using the inside of your mind?"

"I'd say you're crazier than a cuckoo clock," Lola answered. "Why?"

"Observe." Lisa set up a projection screen as slides began showing. "Allow me to introduce you to a new experimental program I've been working on called _V.I.D.C.E.D.I.H. Virtual Interactive Dimension Creator Ever Developed In History_. I had first developed this program when studying the statistics within our fraternal sibling's video game statistics. Sure any high tech _programmer_ can make a video game, but with my easy to use software, anyone with a free afternoon can make one of their own. With my high tech gear, the electrodes within your cerebral cortex can formulate your own virtual reality. So sit back and let your mind do the work." The presentation ends.

"That sounds completely fabricated and fictitious. There's no way anyone would ever go for an opportunity like that." Lola then turned around to see that Lana and Lisa had disappeared. "Except my stupid twin," she groaned.

* * *

The twins then followed Lisa into her room.

"Whoa!" Lana said (more amazed at what she saw than Lola was). "You made this? You're like some kind of wizard!"

Lisa adjusted her glasses. "I'll admit. I am a wizard of sorts. Though I know no _tricks_ , only _truth_. And the truth of the matter is that you promised you'd get our brother a gift. So let's get to work."

Lola was still confused. "So what? Do we just think of a game and that's it?"

"Yes. But before for that, we must run a series of intense physical and mental tests."

"These tests aren't gonna have weird side effects, are they? Because if you do something that's gonna make my hair fall out or…..I don't know, grow a tail on me or something, I'm going to…"

"Hold your threats dear sister. These tests will do nothing of that sort. Or at the very least, I don't intend them to."

"Wait what?"

"Let the montage begin!"

The montage starts. The physical portion includes jumping over logs and combat fighting mannequins, while the mental portion includes mind games, written and memory tests, even using one of Lily's shape toys. Once the test was completed, the results came out of Lisa's machine.

"Twins, the results are in." Lisa began reading. "However, they came with good news and bad news. The _good_ news is that the _physical_ test was a great success and the results are off the charts. The _bad_ news is that the IQ test results are off the charts too, but in a _bad_ way, meaning they are so low that they're barely on the charts at all. Ergo, you're physicality is impressive, but your mentality leaves a lot to be desired."

Unsurprisingly, Lola began dozing off while Lana just stared confused. "Would you mind putting it briefly, please?"

"I'm saying you two are good at fighting, yet you're both pretty stupid."

"What?!" The twins were shocked. "Does that mean we can't make a video game?"

"Not necessarily." Lisa brings out a few helmets and places one onto each of their heads (including herself). "These helmets will virtually transport us into your heads. Once we're in, you can make the game with your minds. However, because of your less than stellar IQs, there will be bugs in the system. But fear not. When the time comes, I will assist you. Are you ready?"

"Ready!"

Lisa flips the switch and activated the machine. The girls were then transported into an empty void. Only this time, they appeared to be in computer generation 3D imagery (commonly referred to as CGI)

"Woah! Cool!" The twins then noticed their sudden change in appearance. "Hey! Why is everything so _bulgy_?"

"Quite simple tomboyish sister." The twins then saw Lisa in her CGI form. "This system is displayed in the next dimension, and therefore gives us _more_ depth than in our reality."

"I have no idea what any of that means," Lana said. "But this does look cool. So what do we do now?"

"In layman's terms, all you have to do is _think_."

"Think?" Lola questions.

"Simply imagine what you want the game to include, and the system will create it."

"Okay," Lana said. "Let's think. What should the game be?"

"Well I guess it could be at our house," Lola thought. Just as she said that, the void began to create a background that looks just like the Loud house.

"That's good! Okay, my turn!" Lana began to think. "What if Lincoln and our sisters were in it?" The graphics began forming simulations of their brother and sisters.

"Yeah! And they got a birthday cake! A cake pops up.

" _Hey guys!_ " The simulation of Lincoln said with a garbled voice. " _Come up and eat some birthday cake!"_

"That's good," Lisa admires. "Now add some obstacles."

"You mean like jumps and holes and stuff?" As soon as Lana said that, the floor started to crumble. The house moves farther away and holes began forming out of the ground. There were also some floating rocks. "No! No! That's not what I meant!"

"Aw man!" Lola groaned.

"Not to worry," Lisa said. "All you have to do is cross to get to the cake at the end and the game will be made. Just remember your training."

The twins then became determined. "You're right. This is for Lincoln!"

Then a starting line formed at their feet and right behind them were digitized ants and beetles.

"Cybugs!" Lisa observes. "Run!"

The three girls began running as the cybugs chased after them. "Why are there so many?" Lola asked.

"Actually, based on your low IQ, I was expecting _more_!"

Along the way, the girls began jumping over gaps using floating rocks, avoiding lasers and even climbing a pillar.

As they almost reached the top, one of the cybugs grabs Lola's foot with its pincers. Lana held onto her hand as she tried to pull her up. Just then, Lisa began fighting off the cybugs, until she began falling from the pillar.

"Lisa!"

"Don't worry about me siblings," Lisa assures. "I'll hold them off!"

"But we can't just leave you!"

"I'll be fine. But Lincoln only has a birthday once a year. Finish the game so you can give him the best gift ever!" Lisa fell to the ground where the cybugs came up to her.

"Lisa!"

The twins then proceeded.

Finally, they got to the house and closer to their goal. But then, the cybugs caught up with them and started attacking. The twins tried to reach the top, but found themselves unable to.

"Well Lola, I guess this is it," Lana said as she accepted her fate. "Figures. I guess we'll just have to accept the fact that we failed to get Lincoln a good birthday gift."

However, Lola was not about to give up. "No! Not this year!" Lola got up and began fighting the cybugs.

Lana took note of this and decided to join in. She then held her hands close to her middle and began concentrating. Just then, a massive fireball started forming out of her hands and she used it to blast the cybugs away.

Lola was impressed. "I didn't know you could do that."

"I didn't know either."

Finally the kids reached the top of the house where their (simulated) siblings were waiting.

 _"You win!"_

 _"Have some cake, sis,"_ the simulated Lincoln said.

"All right!" The twins cheered as they prepared to take a bite of the virtual cake.

Just then, the game ended and the twins were back in their world (and back in 2D).

Lola noticed there was no real cake in her hands. "Dang it."

Lana then saw Lisa unconsciously lying on the floor. "You fought well Lisa."

Just then, Lisa immediately woke up.

"Lisa? I thought you were dead!"

"Negatory. The simulation I designed is proven to be 100% non-deadly. As a result, I was just in a state of unconsciousness."

"Oh. Okay, I guess that works."

Suddenly, the game pops out of the machine. "Game complete."

The twins pulled the game out.

"Woo-hoo!" Lana cheers. "We did it! Thanks for your help Lis'!"

"No problem. Now I have important matters to attend to if you don't mind."

The twins then left the room and headed to their own.

The twins then looked at their surroundings for a second. "Is it me, or does our world make everything look _flat_ like paper?" Lana asked.

"I don't know," Lola answers. "It is kinda strange now that I think about it. But at least we got Linky a gift."

"Yeah." But then, another thought came to Lana's mind. "You know? I'm not sure what it is, but there was something about that virtual world that reminds me of that show. What was it called? Oh yeah, _Cyberchase_."

"You mean that cartoon show about those three kids and their cyborg bird who go inside a computer to stop an evil mastermind?"

"Yep. That's the one."

"I thought weren't into all that math and science-y junk."

"Eh, you gotta admit, that show does leave something to admire. Now let's go wrap this baby up."

* * *

Later that night, the twins found Lincoln sitting on the couch. "Hey Lincoln."

Their brother looked with surprise. "Lola? Lana? Where have you been? You went to the bathroom and never came out! And you missed my birthday!"

"Sorry we were late," Lola apologized. "We were busy making your gift. Look Linky, we heard what you said before and we realized that our gifts haven't been the best."

"But we tried really hard to get you a _good_ one this time," Lana adds. "And we really put a lot of thought into this. So, happy birthday bro."

The twins handed Lincoln the gift as he unwrapped it. "A video game?"

"Not just any video game," Lola corrected. "A video game we _made_."

"What? There's no way you could have made this."

"No," Lana adds. "But our _minds_ did. Go on. Give it a try."

Lincoln put the game in the console and turned it on. The game started and Lincoln selected a character that looked just like him. During the gameplay, the whole platform was so simple that it only took 5 seconds to complete.

"Wow! That was awful!" Lincoln said with amazement. "You guys really _did_ make this yourselves."

"Told you," the twins crossed their arms with pride.

"Guys, this is the _greatest_ gift you've ever given me."


	54. Head in the clouds

**Based on the _Dragon Tales_ episode _Get Offa My Cloud_**

* * *

The story begins in Lincoln's room. Lincoln is busy watching a cup with dirt in it.

Lana came into the room. "Hey Lincoln. Whatcha doing?"

"Hey Lana. My class is growing carrot seeds." Lincoln shows her the pack. "See? We plant the seeds, then the carrot grows way down in the dirt. We pull it up when it's all grown."

"Maybe the seeds will grow in my pocket. I've got _lots_ of dirt in there."

Lincoln sighed. "It just takes time. Like forever."

"Boy, I bet that's frustrating." Lana then got an idea. "Hey, I know. Why don't you come hang out with us while you're waiting? You look like you could use some fresh air."

Lincoln gave it a little thought. "Come to think of it, I guess I _could_ use a break."

"Well, what are you waiting for? Come on!"

Lincoln then got out of his chair and followed his little sister downstairs.

* * *

Downstairs in the kitchen, the rest of the girls were with their parents. With Lynn Sr complaining about the grocery bill.

"Are you kidding me? How can you possibly charge that much for some lousy vegetables?! That's highway robbery!"

Lincoln came into the kitchen. "What's going on here?"

"Dad's in another one his moods," Lynn Jr explains. "He was trying to make a salad but the store keeps charging him extra for vegetables."

"Well no kidding!" Their father exclaimed. "What kind of lousy service is that? This isn't even reasonable!"

Lincoln looks to the audience. "I already know what dad's gonna say. ' _Food prices are astronomical!'_ "

"Food prices are astronomical!" His father said right on cue.

"And now the ' _back when I was a child_ ' speech."

"Back when I was a child, we picked _fresh_ fruits and vegetables. We should grow them here in the backyard."

"Honey, that's a great idea," Rita explains. "But I've got too much work to do today."

Lana stepped in. "What if _we_ help?"

Both the parents were surprised. "Are you sure you're cool with this kids?"

"Of course. This will be a great bonding experience for us."

"Yeah," Lincoln agrees. "Plus I've got a pack of carrot seeds."

"And if I may intervene," Lisa stated, "I just so happen to be working on a special elixir that will help the produce grow faster and more efficiently."

"Well, okay then," Lynn Sr replies. "If you kids have got this handled, we'll leave you to it." Both the parents walked out leaving the kids alone.

"I guess we should get to work then," Lincoln suggests.

"You know what?" Leni said with excitement. "We should totally plant a whole fruit and vegetable garden of our own, complete with pumpkins, tomatoes, rutabagas and everything!"

"But Leni, all I have are _carrots_ ," Lincoln said.

"Don't worry. I got a whole bunch." Leni pulls out a bunch of fruits and vegetables from behind her back.

"Those aren't seeds," Lana states.

Lynn then came forward with two baseball bats in each hand. Everyone took a few steps back as she began smashing the produce with the bats, separating the seeds from the food. The seeds then flew into the air as she held up a few empty bowls. Each different type of seeds went into their own bowls.

"They are _now_."

Everyone was stunned as they gave Lynn a round of applause.

* * *

Out in the backyard, the kids found a big enough space to begin working.

"Alright, let's get to work."

"Aw," Lola complains. "Do I _have_ to?"

"Yes Lola," Lincoln answered. "We _all_ have to help out."

"You know, it's kinda ironic," Lana states. "You love _flowers_ , and yet you hate _dirt_."

"I still don't see why I have to be involved."

"Because Lola," Lincoln further elaborated. "This is a family situation, and whether you like it or not, you're a part of the Loud family."

"Yeah," Lori adds. "That, and we've already blocked the door."

"Fine!" Lola grumbled.

"Okay," Lori ordered. "First we have to get the soil ready. Let's start by getting rid of all the rocks and sticks."

The kids all gathered together all the rocks and twigs that were in the yard.

"Now we just have to plant the seeds in straight rows."

Each of the kids grabbed a shovel and/or a hoe and began making straight lines in the dirt. (Of course, Lisa's were the most precise).

"Hey Lincoln! Look how fast I am!" Lana began running around dragging a shovel in her hand behind her.

Lincoln took note of this and was immediately not happy. "Lana no! _Straight_ lines!"

Lana then stopped and took a look at what she did. "Oops." She then hung her head in shame. "I'm sorry."

Lincoln sighed. "It's okay. But next time, please watch what you're doing."

* * *

The kids (sans Lana) then finished burying the seeds into the ground. They also put up signs of what vegetables were which.

Lincoln wipes the sweat off his forehead. "Finally! We're done."

Leni took a look at the signs. "Yummy pumpkins, crunchy carrots, tasty rutabagas. I can't wait!"

Everyone then began to head inside. Unfortunately, Lana then approaches the garden and began pulling out all the stakes and signs out of the ground. She then saw that Leni and Lori were the last ones to head inside as she approached them.

"Here. You left your sticks. I got them all." Lana drops all the sticks on the ground and already, both Lori and Leni were upset.

"Oh-no!" Leni gasped. "Now we can't tell where everything's planted!"

"But I….."

"Oh Lana! Why don't you stop helping and just _watch_ for a while?"

Lana felt even worse than before.

* * *

Later, everyone was busy fixing up the garden while Lana just sat under the tree watching.

Luna came by with a watering can. "Hey little sis. Whatcha doing here all by yourself?"

"I messed up the garden," Lana lamented.

"You did? It looks fine to me."

"That's because Lori and the others fixed it all up."

"Come on Lana. Tell you what. You can help me with the water."

"I'd better not. I can't do _anything_ right."

"Oh no. Don't say that." Luna then took a seat next to her. "There's a _lot_ of things you're good at."

"Well apparently _gardening_ is not one of them."

"You don't have to know _everything_ to be helpful."

"Aw you're just saying that to make me feel better, and just so you know, it's not working."

"Well you know Lans, some kind of help is the kind of help we all can do without."

Lana was confused. "You know? I can never understand you when you say things like that."

"Hey Luna!" Lori called. "Bring that water over here!"

"Coming dudes!" Luna turns to Lana one last time. "You coming Lana?"

"Nah," Lana pouted. "I'll probably just do something else wrong."

"Suit yourself." Luna brought the watering can over to the others.

"It literally took you long enough," Lori said.

"Well I'm here anyway."

"And I have the elixir right here," Lisa said holding a beaker.

Lincoln felt a little worried. "Uh Lisa? Nothing weird is gonna happen, right? There's not gonna be any mutant vegetables, or we're not gonna turn into vegetables ourselves or any weird surprises?"

"Negatory. I've had this tested weeks ago and it's completely stable. The only thing you'd have to worry about is pouring too much."

Lincoln then felt relieved. "In that case, go ahead."

Lisa nodded and put a single drop of the elixir into the water.

"You know?" Luan thought. "It would actually be pretty funny if veggies could talk."

"I know right?" Leni agrees. "Someone should totally make a TV show about it!"

Lynn rolls her eyes. "I think someone already _did_ , Leni."

"There. It is finished," Lisa announces. Everyone tried to reach for the watering can, but the young genius stopped them. "Hold it! No reason to go overboard. A single drop on each seed is all you need. This elixir is a very powerful growth formula."

Everyone shrugged as if they were saying okay.

Lincoln turned to his sister Lynn. "Rock paper scissors for who gets to do the watering?"

"You're on bro!"

The two played Rock Paper Scissors. Lynn got paper while Lincoln got scissors. "Ha! Scissors beats paper! I win!"

"Dang it!" Lynn then shrugged it off. "Well played Link."

Lincoln then took the watering can and added a single drop to each seed. "Now what?"

"We wait a while for everything to grow," Lisa states.

"Hey, I know! Why don't we all go inside while we're waiting?" Leni suggests. "That way we can have lunch."

"Good idea Leni," Lincoln agrees. "And by the time we get back, the garden will be blooming."

Everyone started to head inside, but then Lincoln spotted Lana sitting under the tree. "Hey Lana. We're going inside for lunch. Why don't you come with us."

"No thanks. I'll just stay here."

"Are you sure? Cuz I can stay if you want me to."

Lana doesn't say anything.

"Okay I get it. You're still bummed out about being yelled at. It's okay. We know you were just trying to help."

"Lincoln I'm fine. There's nothing I wanna talk about right now. I just wanna be by myself for a while."

"Come on sis…"

"I said I'm fine! Just….go away and leave me alone."

Lincoln decided there was no use fighting with her. "Okay, Lana. I'll bring you a sandwich when I come back." Lincoln headed into the house.

As soon as everyone was gone, Lana made her way to the garden. "Come on little seeds! Grow! You can do it!"

Nothing comes out of the ground.

"You don't wanna be little forever, do you?"

Still no response.

"The others said that the seeds would grow soon. But _soon_ was over a long time ago. Yes I'm quite sure that _soon_ is over. And now it is _later_. _Much_ later."

"Why are you so afraid? Go on and grow! Are you slow? We are your gardeners, you are our seeds. We shall attend to all of your needs." Lana then realized what she said. "Whoa! I didn't know I could rhyme like that. I guess Lucy's poems are starting to grow on me."

Lana then got an idea. "I know just what you need!" She ran over to get the watering can. She was about to pour it, but then stopped for a second. "Wait a minute. Is this one of those situations where you add too much and then something bad ends up happening?" Lana thought for a minute, but shrugged it off. "Eh, couldn't hurt."

Lana pours a lot of the water out of the can. "Here. Have a big drink." She then realized that she had poured too much. The ground began shaking and a giant beanstalk grew out of the ground. Lana got carried away by one of its leaves and was taken up to the sky.

Once she arrived, she found herself on a cloud. And to her surprise, she started bouncing when she jumped on it. "Huh, bouncy. Weird. Lisa always told me that clouds were just little drops of water. Boy is she gonna be stunned."

Lana then heard a voice coming out nowhere. "You know, I remember when _I_ first got here. I loved bouncing around on the clouds too."

"Who said that?"

"Down here!"

Lana looks within the clouds and found two mice. One of which was tall and dressed in blue, while the other was smaller with a navy blue hat and a red coat. "Who are you?"

"The name's Tony. Tony Toponi," the taller mouse answered. "And you're here to rescue us, right?"

" _Rescue_ you?"

"Yeah. So what did you bring? A helicopter? Hot air balloon? Ladder?"

"I'm sorry. I don't have _any_ of those things. And how did two little mice like you get stuck up here anyway?"

"Well, you see, we both floated up in a soap bubble a long long time ago."

"Yeah," the younger mouse said. "We've been stuck in this cloud ever since. By the way, I never introduced myself." The young mouse took a bow. "I'm Fievel. Fievel Mousekewitz. What's your name?"

"I'm Lana. Lana Loud."

However, Tony was getting impatient. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice to meet you. Now that introductions are out of the way, can we get out of here, please?"

"Go where? We're way high up in the clouds." Lana then hung her head in shame again. "Besides, I only screw up."

"So what this means is we're all stuck up here with no way to get back?" Tony asked.

To which, Lana nods.

"I should have known this was too good to be true! First were the only ones up here who need help, and now this little girl comes up and all of a sudden, she can't help! Now we're all gonna be stuck up here for the rest of our lives!"

"No we won't Tony," Fievel said. "There has to be a way. Maybe we could…." Fievel then spotted the beanstalk close by. "...climb down! That's it! We could climb back down!"

The trio the looks down to the ground. Lana gulps. "All the way down?"

"What's the matter?" Tony asked her. "You afraid of heights or something?"

Lana then got defensive. "What?! Me?! Afraid?! Of course not! That's ridiculous!"

The two mice crossed their arms.

"Well…..maybe just a _little_ bit."

The mice each raised an eyebrow.

Lana then realized they weren't buying it. So she gave up. "Alright fine! I am! I'm afraid of heights! I admit it! I got stuck in a tree once and I was too afraid to get down! There I said it!" Lana then broke down a bit.

Fievel came up to comfort her. "It's okay Lana. I know how you feel. Believe it or not, I know what it feels like to be scared. But one thing I learned is that sometimes, you just have to ignore your fear and go on."

Lana was still a little unmotivated.

"Tell you what, you can carry us. That way, we'll be there for you in case you get scared."

"Well…..okay."

The two mice then hopped into Lana's overall pocket. She prepared to climb down the beanstalk, but then a strong wind came in. "No! Not the wind!"

The wind began blowing the clouds away from the beanstalk. "Hey! We're moving away from the stalk," Fievel noticed.

"Let me tell you Philly, this ain't good!" Tony shouts.

* * *

Back down on the ground, the rest of the kids came out to check on the garden. They could scarcely believe their eyes.

"Amazing!" Luna said.

"Yeah," Leni agrees. "That magic water really works!"

Lisa however was confused. "I don't understand it. We only used one drop."

"It's almost as if someone used the _whole_ can," Lucy added.

"Where is the watering can anyway?" Lynn wonders.

Lincoln then noticed the watering can wasn't the only thing that was missing. "Come to think of it, where's Lana? She was out here a minute ago."

"I haven't seen her," Lola shrugged.

"Well where could she be?" Lori wonders.

Luna then looked up at the beanstalk. "Uh-oh dudes."

"What is it Luna?"

"Call it a hunch, but something tells me that Lana might be _up there_!" Luna points to the stalk reaching right up into the sky.

"Wow. Talk about having your head in the clouds," Luan jokes. "But seriously, Luna may be right."

"Well if she is," Lynn said, "how are supposed to get her down?"

"I do have one suggestion." Lisa took a small backpack and placed it on her back. The then pulls a small string and two wings out of it.

"Whoa! Lisa!" Lincoln says. "What is that thing."

"This dear brother is my prototype wing-pack. (Patent pending)."

Lola began to laugh. "You expect to fly up there with that piece of junk?"

"It is not a piece of junk! It's a prototype."

"Oh please. These wings are plastic. You can't fly."

"It's made out of a terrific turbonic alloy, and I _can_ fly."

"No. You can't."

"Yes I can."

Can't!"

"Can!"

"Can't! Can't! Can't!"

"I'm telling you I can fly up there with my eyes closed!"

"Okay then little miss smarty pants, prove it."

"Alright then I will. Stand back everyone." Lisa then powers up the wing-pack. "To infinity and….Whatever may be beyond that!" The pack then sent Lisa flying right up into the sky.

"Not bad," Lola says. "But that catchphrase stinks like eggs."

* * *

Back up in the sky, Lana is pacing back and forth trying to think of a way to get off the cloud.

"Let's see," she thought. "What would Lincoln do if he was in this mess?"

"Who's this Lincoln fellow?" Fievel asked.

"My big brother. He usually comes up with good ideas."

"Good ideas," Tony said. "Yeah, that's what we need. I'm sure _you_ could think of one."

"Me?"

"Sure. You practically know a fella with a lot of good ideas."

"But all I do is mess up."

"Come on. Give it a try."

"Please?" Fievel begs.

"Maybe if I just keep thinking." Lana got back on her feet and began pacing again. Once she turned around, she accidentally bumped Tony into the watering can. A drop of water came out of it and fell onto Tony's tail.

"Hey! What happened here?"

Lana picks him up. "Tony! Are you okay?"

"Okay? This is the longest tail I've ever grown! It almost touches the ground!"

"...almost touches the ground! That's it!" Lana then knew just what to do. "You just gave me an idea!" Lana looks into the watering can. "Good. There's still some of that magic water left." She then took out some seeds from her front pocket. "And I still have a few carrot seeds left."

"And just how can you think of food at a time like this?"

"Come on Tony," Fievel said. "Give her a chance. I'm sure Lana knows what she's doing."

Lana took the seeds and buried them in the cloud. She then poured the rest of the remaining water onto it, and the seeds grew into a giant carrot that was so big, it nearly touched the ground.

Both the mice were amazed. "How did you do that?" Fievel asked.

"Carrots grow _down_. Not up," Lana answered. "Lincoln told me."

"Ha-ha!" Tony shouts in victory. "I knew you'd come through miss good-idea!"

Lana scoops the two mice into her pocket. "Okay guys. Hold on tight." Lana looks down to the ground and started to get nervous again. But then, she took a deep breath, grabbed onto the carrot and began sliding down.

* * *

Back at the Loud house, Lisa came back down from the sky.

"Sorry everyone. No luck. I can't seem to find Lana anywhere."

"Well she's gotta be somewhere!" Lola panics.

Just then, Leni spotted a giant carrot coming from a distant cloud. "Mmmm…...a giant carrot!"

"Carrot?" Lincoln took a closer look and recognized who was sliding down it. "Lana! It's Lana!"

"WHAT?!"

"I see her! She's sliding down that giant carrot! Come on!"

The kids all followed the carrot in the clouds. Back to Lana, she finally reached the ground. Once she hopped off, she just stood still with her eyes wide open.

"Woo-hoo!" Fievel cheers. "Lana, we made it!" Fievel then noticed that Lana was completely unresponsive. "Lana? Lana? Are you okay?"

"That….was…..AWESOME!" Lana snaps out of her trance and cheered in excitement. "I was having a blast! I can't believe I just slid down a giant carrot!"

"So you weren't scared?"

"Are you kidding? I was having so much fun, I didn't even remember I was scared of heights!"

"That's great!"

"That's not the only thing that's great!" Tony exclaims. "We're back on the ground!"

The two mice came out of Lana's pocket and began making snow angel in the grass (or in this case: _grass_ angels). Just then, Lincoln and the rest of Lana's sisters came up.

"Lana!" Her brother hugged her. "Are you okay?"

"She's better than okay," Tony said. "She's our hero."

The others were confused. "Who said that?"

Lana picks up the two little mice. "Everyone, these are my new friends: Tony Toponi and Fievel Mousekewitz."

"This little girl has saved the day!"

"All by myself."

"Way to go Lans!" Luna praises. "I knew you had it in you."

"Yeah. I really did." But then her pride turned back to shame again. "Listen, guys? I'm really sorry I messed up the garden."

"It's okay sis," Lincoln assures. "We're just glad you're safe and sound."

"So am I."

"Yeah." Lori then began pointing out the big 'elephant in the room'. "But what are we gonna do with this giant carrot?"

"Looks like we're gonna need a _lot_ of rabbits," Leni said.

"That won't be necessary," Lisa explains. "I might have a _better_ suggestion."

* * *

Back at the Loud house, the kids were keeping an eye on the garden.

"I gotta hand it to you Lisa," Lincoln says. "Out of all the experiments you've come up with, this is by far one of your greatest."

Lisa felt rather flattered. "Much obliged Lincoln."

"You were right Lana," Lola says. "I really, _really_ hate dirt. But, the vegetables look nice."

"They sure do. Now if you don't mind, I'm heading inside for a bit." Lana headed back into the house and upstairs to her room.

"Yo Lana!" The young girl looked down to see that Tony was calling out to her. "That garden of yours working out for you?"

Lana gave a thumbs up. "Sure is."

"Good. Listen, I just wanna say thanks for…..you know, rescuing us up there."

"No problem guys. You know? There are two things I learned from this."

"Oh yeah? What?"

"Well one of them is that you can always find a way to help someone, no matter what you're good at."

"What's the other one?" Fievel asked.

Lana held out a piece of cake. "Big carrots, make good carrot cake," she said while eating the cake slice.

Tony shrugged. "Eh, I'd prefer cheesecake."

* * *

 **So there you go.**

 **Now there's something I would like to point out. For those of you who don't know, the two mice Tony and Fievel were actually named after the same two mice from the animated film franchise _An American Tail_ (The first one directed by Don Bluth). In case you don't remember the actual _Dragon Tales_ episode, there was a scene where Max is in the clouds and he met with a tiny little elf human named Squink. However, for this chapter, I decided to do something a little different. And for some reason, I kept picturing the Louds meeting Fievel from _An American Tail_ , so I decided to include him in this story, and the rest is history.**

 **Thanks for reading**

 **Stay tuned.**


	55. Lori Makes a Deposit

**And now it's time for a guest request. Based on the _Chowder_ episode _Shnitzel Makes a Deposit._**

* * *

Lori comes in through the kitchen from the back door, looking unusually happier than normal.

At the same time, Lincoln and Lana are helping out their father in the kitchen.

"I'll see you guys later," Lori said as she passed by the three.

"Is it Friday already?" Lynn Sr asked.

"Why does Lori always get so happy on Friday's?" Lana also asked. "Is it a day when she takes a nap?"

"No," Lincoln answered. "Friday is _payday_."

"You see Lana," her father explains. "Employment works in different ways. As apprentices, kids like you work to gain knowledge."

"Knowledge," Lana repeats.

"But grownups like Lori, your mother and myself, work for _money_. So each week, she gets a paycheck."

"What does she do with the check?"

"Well, like most grownups, she deposits it in a bank."

"And then the money goes straight into her account," Lincoln further elaborated.

Lori prepared to head out. "I'll be back in a minute."

"I've never been to the bank," Lana said. "Do they have snacks there?"

"You know what?" Her father suggested. "You should go with Lori."

Lori was shocked after hearing that.

"Are you sure Lori won't mind?"

"Not at all. Now go get your money."

Lana dashes up the stairs.

"I literally cannot believe you are letting Lana tag along with me," Lori says.

"Come on Lori," Lincoln begs. "Give her a chance. I'm sure she won't be a bother."

Lana came back with a piggy bank in her hands.

"How much you got in there?" Her father asks.

Lana threw her piggy bank to the floor, shattering it to pieces, also revealing a load of money.

"Perfect! You can start a savings account! It's never too early."

"It seems pretty early for a six year old," Lori commented.

"No it's _not_ too early!"

"Whatever. Let's just go." Lori heads with Lana out the door.

"Have fun you two." Lynn Sr closed the door. "Well son, I guess it's back to work in the kitchen."

And Lynn and Lincoln head back to the kitchen, they both ran into Lana, who had a chocolate chip cookie in her hand. "Lori said I could have this cookie if I stayed _here_ ," she said.

"Oh she did, did she?"

Outside, Lori was heading to Vanzilla. But when she opened the door, she found Lana in the seat with a blueberry pie. "Dad said I could have this pie if I went with you."

Lori just rolls her eyes. "Alright, but let's make it quick."

* * *

As soon as they got to the bank, Lana was amazed by how big the place was. Although, at the same time, she noticed that there was also a weird smell. "It smells like floor wax in here."

"Just don't touch anything, okay?" Lori ordered.

"Okay, okay, I won't touch anything."

"Good." Lori headed inside, but then turned around and saw that Lana was just standing in the same place. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Well I can't follow you because then my feet would be _touching_ the floor, and you said that….."

"Lana, the floor is meant to be touched."

"So I _can_ touch the floor?"

"Yes. You can touch the floor and the air. But everything else, leave alone."

Lana then followed her sister into the bank. "Sheesh, you need to make up your mind."

"Just try not to screw this up for me. It's bad enough dad made me bring you along."

"Well you don't have to be such a grouch about it."

"Whatever. Look, rule #1: you can _not_ touch anything but the floor or the air. Rule #2: you can _not_ bother me when I'm making my deposit. Rule #3: you can _not_ cry or whine or laugh or giggle or sneeze or burp or fart. So _no_ annoying sounds. Got it?"

"Does this count as annoying?" Lana puts her hands to her cheeks while making a clicking sound with her tongue. Until Lori stops her.

"Very!" She groaned.

The two girls then approached a bank consultant. "Welcome," she greeted. "Would you care for a free lollipop?"

"Would I?" Lana asked with surprise.

"Would you?"

"Would I?"

"Would you?"

"Would I?"

"Would you?"

"Would I what?"

"Care for a free lollipop?"

"Would I?

"Would you?"

"Would I?"

Lori was getting annoyed. "Lana!"

"Yes. I would. Thank you."

* * *

The two girls were first in line. Lana was licking a lollipop as Lori rung the bell. The booth opens up, and an old nearsighted man was at the desk.

"How can I help you?"

"I'm here to make a deposit." Lori says as she hands over the check.

"Okay…...we'll get you taken care of…...okie dokie, I may need you to sign the back of this check. There's a pen over on the counter yonder."

Lori saw the pen on the counter the man was referring to. "Lana? Would you mind…..?"

"Holding our place in line?" Lana finished. "Okay. I'm good at holding." Lana then began holding her breath until her face turned purple.

"Whatever." Lori made her way towards the desk. She prepared to sign her name on the back of the check. But before she could, she checked the line and saw that Lana was gone. Instead she was back at the entrance getting another lollipop. Suddenly a huge crowd of people came rushing in.

"Noooooooooooo!"

Lori ran up to the line, but the pen was still in her hand. The chain restricted her and the line was full.

* * *

And so, Lori and Lana were stuck waiting in line. Lana had a bunch of lollipops in her hand to snack on.

Many hours kept passing by. Lana had finished all her lollipops and was starting to get bored. She then noticed someone standing behind her. She also noticed the tie on his shirt, so she reached her hand out and started playing with it by making it swing back and forth. It was so mesmerizing to her that she couldn't stop. But unbeknownst to her, the person saw this and did not look amused.

" _Next_."

Just as Lori stepped forward, the person behind her tapped her shoulder. She turned around.

"You think this is funny?" The man said. "Letting your little sister do this to me? Just because a have a tie around my neck?"

Lori got worried. "Listen! I don't want any trouble!"

"I'll teach you to make fun of my attire! Officer! Officer!"

Officer Schoffner came in. "What's the problem?"

"This person made me feel uncomfortable."

The officer immediately recognized her. "Hey, I know you. You're one of Rita's kids. Just when I thought you couldn't cause anymore trouble."

"But I wasn't…"

"Come on. It's the time out zone for you."

The guards escorted Lori to her punishment. "Wait! No! I didn't do anything! Oh dang it!"

"You too little one." She points to Lana, who soon followed.

* * *

The two girls were in the time out zone. Lori looks pretty grumpy while Lana felt a little sorry. She decided to make conversation.

"Last night I dreamed that I was a baby lion. And you were a tiger. Which is weird because usually you're a _cheetah_ in my dreams. Why do you suppose that is?"

Lori didn't give a response. Lana then looks at the length of the line.

"Dang. Line's getting long."

* * *

After Lana and Lori were out of the time out booth, they were back in line.

However, the person in front of them was Carol Pingrey. "Oh I thought I'd never get up here. Well I'll make this fast. I just need to deposit $200." She giggles before pulling out a giant sack of pennies. "In _pennies_!"

"Oh come on!" Lori shouts.

The man pulls out a small bank. "Okay. Let's see here." The man began counting as he began putting the pennies in the bank. Very slowly at that. "1….2….3…..4…...5…."(You get the idea).

Both Lori and Lana were watching silently until Lana broke the silence and spoke out loud. "I can count good too Lori! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6!"

"7….8…..9…" the man then realized he had lost count. "Aw fiddlesticks!" So he empties the bank and began counting again.

Lori turns to her sister. "Lana! Don't distract him!"

"Okay. No more counting. Right." Lana gave a thumbs up and stood in silence. That is until…"A, B, C, D, E, F, G!"

"H…. I…..J…." Lana made him lose track again. "Aw fiddlesticks." Once again, he started over as Lori slapped her forehead.

* * *

Many hours passed and Lori was still waiting. But then she noticed that Lana was not right next to her. What she saw was that Lana was actually at the front of the line talking with the man who was counting.

"You're a good counter," she said.

"Thank you," the man said as he counted. "592…"

"How high can you count?"

"Oh I don't know. Pretty high."

"You wanna hear a joke?"

"Sure."

"Okay, here's one my sister taught me. Why was 6 afraid of 7?"

"I don't know. Why?"

"Because 7, _8_ , 9! Get it?"

The man began to laugh.

"Yeah. It's pretty good. But anyway, how'd you get so good at counting?"

"I just practice I guess."

"I'll keep practicing too. Thanks mister." Lana left.

"What a nice little girl. 10…." He then realized he lost count AGAIN. "Fiddlesticks!"

Lana went back to her older sister. "He's a good counter Lori." Lana then noticed that Lori had her face covered by her hands and bursting into tears. "Why are you crying?"

* * *

Lana was then all tied up in rope chained up to a giant steel ball. And her mouth was all covered up with a handkerchief.

Lori then watched carefully as the man was almost close to being done.

"...19,995…...19,996…...19,997…..19,998….19,999…"

Just then, the man collapsed on the desk. Everyone was shocked.

"Oh dear!" Carol said. "Help! Help!"

Two paramedics then popped up from behind him. "Don't worry ma'am. We're professionals."

One of the doctors poked the man in the back, and he started to groaned. "Not to worry. This man simply ran out of steam. Does anyone have any steam on them? Anyone?"

Everyone shook their heads.

"Anyone? No steam, huh? Then we better get this man to a sauna immediately." The two escorted the man out.

The bank consultant from before came up to Carol. "Ma'am, if you'll come with me, we'll finish your deposit."

"Oh, that sounds wonderful." Carol followed the consultant.

Lori then saw that another section opened up and a huge line quickly approached.

"DAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNGGGGGG IIIIIIIITTT!"

* * *

Both the girls stood at the back of the line. On and on, Lori kept on ranting and complaining. "I literally cannot believe this! This was just supposed to be a nice simple trip to the bank! But Noooo! Instead I get stuck babysitting one of my annoying sisters! All because my father thought it would benefit her! ' _Lana won't be any bother'_ he said! ' _This will be a great experience for her'_ he said! ' _Lori won't mind at all'_ he said! Well you know what? I _do_ mind! I mind a _lot_!"

"Next? Next! Ma'am! You're next!"

"Hey Lori!" Lana pointed. "It's your turn!"

Lori saw that it was indeed her turn. At the front desk, the person was much younger and handsome.

"Go on then," Lana encourages. "Go on."

Lori moves forward. "Hello?"

"I'd be happy to take your deposit ma'am," the man said.

Lori was preparing to deposit her check, when all of a sudden…

"Nobody move!" A robber appears out of nowhere with a baseball bat in his hand. "This is a robbery! Stay down and no one gets hurt!"

"Oh no! He's got a baseball bat!" Everyone ducks and crouches down to the floor.

"Don't try any funny stuff. I ain't afraid to use this thing." The robber approaches the two Loud sisters. Lana was hiding behind Lori who still had her back turned. "Hey! What's your deal miss? I'm not messing around here! Answer me!"

When Lori turns around, she had a fierce look on her face, which frightened the burglar. She then snatched his bat and broke it in half with no effort whatsoever. She also took the ski mask and pulled it over his body. The robber then took off looking for the front door.

Lori turns back around and hands over her check. "Here's my deposit."

* * *

Moments later, the two girls were leaving the bank with everyone cheering.

Lana then stepped in front of her older sister. "Lori! Hey Lori! Wait! I didn't get to deposit my money!" Lana said as she held up her piggy bank.

Lori looks back and saw that the line was once again long. She then fell backwards and fainted.

Lana felt her pulse. "Eh, she'll be fine."

* * *

 **And that was a guest request. I'll admit, this one was a little hard. Considering that in _Chowder_ , Schnitzel only says 'Radda Radda', it was kinda hard trying to figure out what he's trying to say sometimes. But I managed to translate as best as I could. **

**Anyway, thanks for reading, and stay tuned for more stories coming soon.**


	56. Loud Party

**And now here's a request from mr.mhj0198. A _Loud House_ Tale of _Hey Arnold_ 's _Cool Party._**

* * *

It started out as any normal day at Royal Woods elementary school. All the kids are heading out to recess. However one boy lagged behind when he heard someone call his name.

"Pssst! Lincoln."

Lincoln turned around and saw that the voice came from one of his classmates, Girl Jordan. She handed him a small piece of paper.

"This is for _your_ eyes only."

Lincoln took the paper and began to read it. "' _A high tea party at the home of Girl Jordan, restricted invitations'_?"

"It means not _everybody_ is invited. Only the _cool_ kids. The last time I had a party, I invited _everyone_. This time, I'm downsizing. I'm eliminating the _geeks_."

"Right."

"See, you Lincoln Loud have made the _cool_ list."

"How'd I do that?"

"I don't know, I guess you just have that special charm, that determination and encouragement, your unique sense of style."

"My unique sense of _style_?"

"Yeah. Like that orange polo of yours you wear every day. It's so cool."

"It's just a shirt, you know."

"See that's what I mean. The way you call it ' _just a shirt'_. It's so bold. You're a bold kid Lincoln. So, are you coming?"

"I don't know. I'm still having flashbacks of _last_ time."

"Ah that's all water under the bridge. Don't even worry about it. So, how about it?"

Lincoln still didn't know what to say. "I'll think it over."

* * *

Later that day, the kids were still at recess. Lincoln was chatting with his best friend Clyde.

"I can't believe Girl Jordan put me on her cool list. I was sure she thought I was a geek."

"You? A geek? Please. Look around you Lincoln." Clyde showed him what's in front of them, which was a bunch of kids just doing their own weird things, including some of their friends and Lincoln's younger sisters.

"I see what you mean. You going to the party?"

"She didn't invite me."

"Well not _yet_. I'm sure she will."

"You're right Lincoln. After all, I am the _definition_ of cool."

* * *

Elsewhere in the playground, Mollie and Girl Jordan were talking.

Mollie was checking the list. "What about Clyde?"

"Geek," Girl Jordan answered.

"Clyde? On the _geek_ list? How come? He's nice, he's funny, everyone likes him. He seems pretty _cool_ to me."

"Yeah well, I've been furious at him ever since he became class president."

"So what? Class president is cool."

"Yes, but he ran against _me_. And that was definitely _not_ cool."

* * *

Back on to the boys, Lincoln and Clyde were greeted by their friends Zach, Rusty and Liam.

"Hey Lincoln," Zach greeted. "Did you get an invitation to Girl Jordan's party?"

"Yeah," Lincoln answered. "You going?"

"No," Rusty exclaimed. "None of _us_ got invited." Soon enough, Ronnie Anne and Lincoln's little sisters Lucy, the twins and Lisa joined in.

"None of you?"

Lisa took out her clipboard. "Based on my statistical survey of all fifth graders of Royal Woods elementary school, I have come to the conclusion that so far only Lance, Trent, Darren, Miguel, Mollie, Boy Jordan, Kyle, Kat, Joy and Ken are invited. And of course, you Lincoln."

"What about me?" Clyde asked.

"I'm sorry to report this Clyde, but you are also on the geek list."

"What?!"

"Wait a minute," Lincoln thought as he glared at his little sisters. "Why do _you_ guys even care?"

"Uh hello!" Lola scoffs. "A high class tea party? Who wouldn't invite _me_ to it?"

Lana just shrugged. "Eh, honestly I could care less."

"So with the exception of Lame-o Loud here, we've all made Girl Jordan's geek list," Ronnie Anne scolds.

"Just how does she define 'geek' anyway?" Liam asked rhetorically.

"Unabridged urban dictionary's American slang defines 'geek' as a circus performer whose job is to bite the head of a live chicken for the audiences amusement," Lisa explains. "Metaphorically speaking."

"Bite the head off a chicken?"

"But that's totally unfair," Lincoln said. "None of us bite off chicken heads. Well…..except for Lana."

"Yeah!" Lana agrees. "And it was just the _one_ time!"

Lisa slaps her forehead. "Clearly you didn't hear me speaking metaphorically."

"You know," Zach said. "I'm actually kinda mad about not being invited to the party."

Lucy pops up from behind. "It does hurt when this type of thing happens to us outcasts."

"Yeah!" Lola agrees. " _We_ have feelings too! I bet Girl Jordan thinks I'm a geek because I'm bratty, loud and obnoxious!"

"And I bet she thinks _I'm_ a geek because my pa cuts my hair with a bowl!" Liam chimes in.

Then Zach began to rant. "I bet she thinks _I'm_ a geek because of my weird haircut."

"It's not _that_ weird Zach," said Rusty.

"Thanks Rusty. But you're just saying that because you've got the wackiest hairdo in the whole school. No offense."

"None taken."

"Oh forget her losers," Ronnie Anne scoffs. "Since when does princess Girl Jordan get to decide who's cool and who's a geek? Who died and made her queen of the universe?"

"Yeah!" Lola shouts. "Forget that stupid party!"

Everyone agreed, but Lincoln was still lost in his thoughts. "I don't know Clyde. Maybe I _shouldn't_ go."

"Are you kidding Lincoln?" Zach said. "It'll be great. There's gonna be lots of free food."

"And cool kids," Liam adds. "I tell ya. It's like you were born lucky."

Lincoln just gave him the 'you don't know the half of it' look.

"Yeah, just go Lincoln," said Clyde. "I've got plans tonight anyway."

"Yeah, go," scolded Ronnie Anne. "And feel free to tell us what it was like Lame-o. Come on guys, let's go throw rocks at a dumpster."

Everyone follows her, leaving Lincoln alone.

* * *

Later that day, Lincoln had arrived at Girl Jordan's house.

The door opens. "Lincoln Daal, Ciao. Won't you come in?"

Lincoln walked inside. "Lincoln ' _Dahl_ '?"

"There's cucumber sandwiches on the buffet. Help yourself."

"Thanks."

Lincoln made his way to the buffet table. There were already two of his classmates there (whom of which were actually looking pretty bored).

"Hey Lincoln."

"Hey Trent. Hey Lance. Having any fun?"

"Not really," Trent answers.

"We're just pretending to eat for a while," Lance said. "Until we have to go back over there and listen to Girl Jordan talk about her summer vacation in Europe."

"May I offer you a toast point?"

"What does she do with the rest of the toast?" Lincoln asks.

"Probably donates it to the awkward and unfashionable."

"Some cool party this is," Said Lance.

"Yeah," Lincoln agrees. "It's a real blast."

Back over on the couch, Girl Jordan was busy chattering with other kids (who were also bored as well).

"I'm so glad I invited only the cool kids. I mean, what's the point of having a party if you invite geeks? They are just an embarrassment really. Like Zach. He's so short, he could pose for trophies. And don't even get me started on Rusty. He always thinks he's 'cool' with the ladies. And what about Liam? Where'd he learn English? Tennessee?"

Lincoln couldn't stand hearing her talk about his friends like that. So he got fed up and decided to leave.

"Lincoln? Where are you going?"

"You know, suddenly I'm not feeling cool enough for this party. Thanks for inviting me. I better get going." With that, Lincoln went right out the door.

"Fine. Be that way. Mollie?" Mollie hands Girl Jordan the list as she crossed Lincoln's name from the cool list and moved it over to the geek list. "Geek!"

* * *

Lincoln then spotted Clyde sitting on a park bench.

"Hey Lincoln," Clyde greeted. "Back from the cool party already?"

"Yeah," Lincoln replies. "Basically it stunk. So I left."

"Wanna go do something?"

"But I thought you had plans."

"Nah, I just said that so you wouldn't feel bad about going to Girl Jordan's party. You wanna go join Ronnie Anne and the others throwing rocks at a dumpster?"

"Sure."

* * *

The rest of the kids were in an alleyway throwing rocks at a dumpster.

Lincoln and Clyde arrived. "Hey guys."

"Hey, it's Lincoln," Zach spotted.

"And he's back from his visit with all the cool kids," said Liam.

"So what was it like lame-o?" Ronnie Anne asked.

"You didn't miss a thing Ronnie Anne," Lincoln said.

"Yeah," Liam agrees. "But we're still pretty darn mad at Girl Jordan for not inviting us."

"And we're _really_ mad at her for putting us on her geek list," Lola says as she chucked a big rock against the dumpster.

"It's like we have all this unfocused rage." Lucy bent a ruler with her hands until it snapped in half.

"Trust me," Lincoln clarifies. "She's enraged." (Despite Lucy's face looking deadpanned as usual).

"I wish we could do something about this," Lana said.

"I say we all go over and crash Girl Jordan's party and eat all her food!" Lola suggests.

"YEAH!" Everyone yells in agreement.

"Well _I_ say we get a carload of horse manure and leave it on her porch!" Said Ronnie Anne.

"YEAH!"

"I say we all paint ourselves with tiger stripes and go free all the animals at the zoo!" Shouted Lana.

Everyone just stared in silence.

"Fine Lana," Ronnie Anne said sarcastically. "We'll meet you there in an hour."

"Woohoo!" Lana ran off.

"That is one crazy sister of yours," Ronnie whispers to Lola.

"I know," she replies.

Lincoln raises his hand. "I have an idea."

Ronnie Anne rolls her eyes. "Oh boy. Here we go. What's your Nobel prize winning idea this time, bonehead?"

"How about if we all go over to my place? We can hangout in the backyard and have our own party. And _everybody's_ invited."

"Geek party at the Loud house!" Everyone shouted.

* * *

That night, everyone headed over to the Loud house and had their own party in the backyard. Lincoln's older sisters helped out. Leni and Lori assisted with the decorations and catering, Lynn and Luan helped with the games and entertainment, and of course, Luna provided the music.

Soon enough, all the kids in the neighborhood heard the commotion and decided to head on over.

Back at Girl Jordan's party, the hostess herself was still talking while everyone else looked bored.

"...and then my mother ingested some bad pate de foie gras, and we had to motor on to Cannes posthaste. Oh Cannes, it was insane."

"Excuse me," Trent asked. "Do you have any acetaminophen?"

Just then, they began to hear the music coming from outside. "What is that noise outside? Close the window!" She then spotted two guests seeing themselves out. "Where are you two going?"

It was Joy and Kat. "We'll be right back Jordan," the latter said. "We're just gonna see what's going on outside." The two girls headed out the door.

"I don't think they're coming back Jordan," said Mollie. "Looks like they're going over to Lincoln's house."

"Then they're off the list." Girl Jordan crossed both Joy and Kat off the 'cool' list.

Soon enough, other kids started heading over to the Loud house.

"Something seems to be going on at Lincoln's," Lance observes.

"It's probably some sort of bizarre out of control happening," Trent agrees.

"Well whatever it is, it looks a lot better than this."

"Here, here. What do you say we blow this pop stand?" Trent and Lance approach Girl Jordan. "Girl Jordan, I'm terribly, terribly, terribly sorry. My headache has actually grown worse. Therefore, I must take my leave."

"Yeah, I better go with him too. Make sure he's okay. Thanks for the toast points." The boys headed out the door. "Come on. Let's go to Lincoln's."

"Right behind you."

The girls watched as the boys hurried on to Lincoln's house. "Lance and Trent, no longer cool. Off the list." Girl Jordan crossed them out.

As the boys headed off to Lincoln's, they happened to pass by Hawk and Hank.

"Hey twerps!" Hawk called out. "What's going on?"

"Party at the Loud house!" Trent responded.

"Come on Hank! Let's go!"

"But Hawk. They're twerps. If we went, wouldn't we be uncool?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because, we are so cool, that even if we go to an uncool party, we'll still be cool."

"Wow bro. You're really smart."

"Duh. Come on! Let's go!"

* * *

Back at the Loud house, everyone started coming to the party and having a great time.

While at Girl Jordan's, almost everybody has left.

"I can't believe this is happening to me," she said. "Everyone's left the party but you, me and Miguel."

"Actually, Miguel just left," Mollie said.

"What?" Indeed he did. "Fine. Miguel is off the list."

"You know? Maybe I'll go check out what's going on at Lincoln's."

"Mollie, you can't be serious. You're my best friend. This is very uncool. I'm sorry. I have no choice. I'm putting you on the _geek_ list."

"Well Jordan. You wanted to have a party for only the cool kids, but now that you've crossed everyone _off_ the cool list except yourself, I guess _you're_ the only cool kid left. I'm going to Lincoln's. Enjoy the rest of your party." Mollie left, but not before turning around and coming back for a bowl of chips. "I'm taking my bowl, okay?"

* * *

Back at the Loud house, more people were coming to the party, including Chandler.

"Hey Chandler," Lincoln greeted. "How you doing? There's food and punch on the table."

"Man!" Said Clyde. "Everybody came Lincoln!"

"Pretty geeky party Lame-o," said Ronnie Anne.

"Yep, it's nearly perfect."

Lincoln crossed his arms. " _Nearly_ perfect?"

Clyde points to the door and Lincoln saw that Girl Jordan was standing there with a platter in her hands. " _Now_ it's perfect."

"Hi Clyde. Hi Lincoln," she greeted. "I brought sandwiches. Can I come to your party?"

Lincoln and Clyde looked to each other. "Well, let me see. I don't know."

"You see," Lincoln clarifies. "This party is for _geeks_ only."

Lola brought over a clipboard. "And _you_ don't seem to be on the geek list."

"Maybe you're on the _other_ list?" Ronnie Anne asked.

"The ' _cool_ ' list," Liam said making air quotes.

Girl Jordan whispered. "I wanna be a geek."

"I'm sorry." Lincoln put a hand to his ear. "What was that?"

"I…..wanna be a geek."

"I can't hear you."

Suddenly, the music stopped and everyone stared, waiting for a response.

"I WANNA BE A GEEK!"

Everyone cheered.

"Okay Girl Jordan," Lincoln said. "Come on in."

"I mean, I wanna be a geek _tonight_ only," she clarified. "Tomorrow, I'm gonna be cool again."

With that, everyone went back to partying.

Outside of the Loud House, a herd of zoo animals stampeded on the street. Lana is seen riding on a giraffe with tiger stripes painted on her. "Free the animals!"


	57. Short: Who took Lola’s cookies

**I know it's been a long while since I've done a short chapter, but I would like to present something to keep you guys entertained.**

 **Based on a segment from _Sesame Street_**

* * *

Lola is at her tea party table with a plate of cookies.

Or at least it was a plate of cookies.

"Lana!" She called. "Lana get over here!"

Her twin Lana came into the scene. "Oh hi there Lola. How are you?"

"Yeah, hi. How are you? Don't give me any of that! I'm mad! And I think you know why!"

"Well actually no. I _don't_ know. Why are you mad?"

"Sis, let me ask you. What does the word ' _cookie_ ' mean to you?"

"Cookie? Well cookie is one of my favorite words of all. And that means it's one of my favorite desserts of all. And it also means a great big plate of cookies." Lana grabs her own plate of cookies. "Just like these right here."

"Yeah, just like those."

Lana was just about to eat one.

"Put that down! Those are _my_ cookies Lana!"

"Oh no Lola. See, these are _my_ cookies. _You're_ cookies were on this plate right here."

"I know they _were_ here Lana. And I think _you_ know what happened to them. There are clues Lana, and if we examine the clues, we can figure out what happened to _my_ cookies."

"What sort of clues?"

"Okay. Clue number one: the cookies _were_ right here on this plate. But _now_ Lana, _now_ they aren't there anymore. Just a bunch of crumbs."

"I see," Lana said as she ate the crumbs.

"And you're eating the crumbs too?"

"Yeah, but….."

"Sure, why not?"

"Yes but what else Lola?"

"Okay, clue number two: if you were me, and you happen to see a girl with messy blonde hair tied up in pigtails, a red cap on top of her head, and a pair of blue overalls come in and take the cookies off the plate, what would you think?"

"Well, I guess I would think that Lana might have come in and taken your cookies Lola."

"Right!"

"But I—"

"And then, if that same girl also snickered…."

Lana snickers (just as an example).

"Just like that. _Then_ what would you think?"

"Well I guess I would _really_ think that Lana had come in and taken your cookies Lola. But I didn't take your cookies."

"Oh yeah? Well what about those three clues, huh? What about them?"

"I don't know."

Just then Lisa came in wearing a blonde wig, a red backwards cap and blue overalls. "Mmmmm….scrumptious." Lisa noticed the twins and took the full plate of cookies. "Hello Lola." She snickers as she left the room.

The twins were surprised. They looked at each other for a few seconds before falling backwards onto the floor.


	58. Lincoln’s Story

**Hey guys! I'm back with yet another fanfic request. Now this one came from a guest reviewer who suggested that I do a chapter based on the _ChalkZone_ episode _Rudy's Story_. Now I just wanna say sorry for the delay, but the thing is coming up with a plot for this story was proven to be quite a challenge. Since the world of _ChalkZone_ is too out of the ordinary and nonsensical for the _Loud House_ universe, I had trouble coming up with a way to make it fit. It is for that reason plus the fact that I didn't watch _ChalkZone_ back when I was little (and I kinda regret it), so I had to find a way to rewatch the same episode again to refresh my memory. Luckily I was able to find the complete series on DVD online. So I'm glad for that. Anyway, without further ado, here's _Lincoln's Story_.**

 ** _Loud House_ (Chris Savino), _ChalkZone_ (Bill Burnett, Larry Huber).**

* * *

"Lori! Guys!" Lincoln ran down the stairs and found his sisters sitting on the couch in the living room.

"You don't have to yell Lincoln," Lori tells him. "We're right _here_."

"Oh. Well, have you guys got a minute?"

"Whatcha need, little bro?" Luna asked.

"It's about this project for my Writers Workshop class. We're supposed to create a story of our own and present it to the class. But I just don't know if it's good enough. So I was wondering if maybe I could tell it to you, and let me know what you think of it?"

"Well we were literally in the middle of our leisure time," Lori said. "But if it's for school, I guess we could give it a listen."

"What is it?" Luna asked.

"It's a story filled with adventure, action, giant beasts and some serious quick thinking."

"How do you come up with this stuff?" Luan asked.

"Oh, you know. I have my ways."

"Can we read it now?" Lana asked.

"Okay, but I gotta warn you, it gets pretty gross. You might not be able to handle it."

"We'll see about that."

"So what's the story about?" Lucy asked.

"I'm glad you asked." Lincoln began telling the story.

 _Lincoln Loud: world famous expeditionist._

 _ **"This is the story of Lincoln Loud: The World Famous Expeditionist."**_

"Uh, I have a question," Lola raises her hand. "What is an expo….exposi…..expect…...what you just said?"

"An _expeditionist_ ," Lisa explains, "is a person that goes on a long voyage or adventure for a specific reason or purpose. Whether it's for scientific research, exploration, or important tasks."

"Okay, that was a little too much, but thanks."

"With all due respect, please continue."

 _ **"Anyway, i had been fighting my way through the deep and beastly jungles looking for my partner Clyde. I needed a way to cross the big deep water."**_

 _In the story, Lincoln spotted a log floating along the water._

 _ **"I grabbed onto the only passing log I could find."**_

 _Lincoln grabs onto the log until he was caught by some giant hippos._

 _ **"But the locals showed me a better way to travel."**_

 _Lincoln spotted some vines hanging from trees and began to swing on them. However, the last one was not a vine at all, but instead a tail of a giant snake._

 _ **"Suddenly, I was face to face with a wild boa constrictor."**_

"How did you get away?" Luna asked.

 _ **"I didn't. The snake swallowed me whole!"**_

"Ew! Yuck!"

 _ **"I told you it was gross. Anyway, I was able to get out unscathed."**_

 _While inside the belly of a snake, Lincoln shook himself around making the snake wiggle, giggle and tickle inside. Finally, the snake threw up and Lincoln pops out._

 _ **"I'd hate to be the kind of guy who has to deal with these things. Me being a jack of all trades and all."**_

This made his sisters groan.

 _Lincoln then approached some tall grass. He then reaches into his backpack and took out a sword and began cutting away all the grass in the way._

 _ **"I was running through the thick grass looking for clues when I heard a distant cry for help."**_

 _Indeed, Lincoln heard a familiar voice, crying out for assistance._

 _"Clyde?"_

 _"Lincoln! Up here!"_

 _Lincoln looks up in the trees to see Clyde in a web made out of bubble gum. "Clyde! Is that you?"_

 _"You think you can help me out here? A few minutes more and I'm gonna be spider chow!"_

"AAAAAAHH!" Leni screamed. "SPIDER!"

"Calm down, Leni," Lori says. "It's just a story."

"Now where was I?" Lincoln suddenly remembered. "Oh yeah."

 _ **"I was just about to free Clyde, when a giant spider dropped in out of nowhere on a stretchy piece of chewed bubble gum."**_

"Well actually," Lisa interrupts. " _True_ Arachnids have spinnerets on the other side of their abdomen."

"Well, _this_ spider chews gum."

"But it would make sense for the webbing to come from…."

"In _this_ story, spiders chew gum," Lincoln interrupted.

"Okay…" Lola said.

 _" **The spider was thoroughly peeved because I was stealing her lunch, but I got her to fall for me."**_

 _Reaching into his pack, Lincoln pulls out a big pair of scissors and cut the gum, making the spider fall to the ground._

 _Lincoln then attempted to use the scissors to get Clyde out of the web. Fortunately, he got down to the ground, but Clyde was still tangled up._

 _Both of them saw the spider was vastly approaching them, while also shooting gum at them through its mouth. They began running away._

 _Unfortunately, one of the gum wads hit Clyde while he was still tangled. Clyde tried desperately to break free, but the spider kept on pulling back._

 _Eventually, they both got to a cliff, where Lincoln was already at the bottom. Clyde tried to get to the bottom of the cliff, but then the spider tugged on the piece of gum it was chewing, and luckily, it managed to free Clyde from his entanglement._

 _Clyde fell in midair and landed on the ground at the bottom of the cliff. Both Lincoln and Clyde saw that the spider was tangled up in its own gum. At first they were relieved, but then they saw that the arachnid got free._

 _"Say Lincoln?" Clyde asked. "How come spiders never get caught in their own web?"_

Lana raises her hand. "Oh! I know the answer to that! Spiders have special oils on their bodies that allow them to handle their own web without getting stuck."

Lincoln was impressed. "Wow. That's pretty good."

"Hold on," Lola says. "How'd you know that?"

"I heard it on a nature show," Lana said. "It's the same way that ducks swim without their feathers getting wet."

"Yeah…..Lana? What show was that called?"

"Zoboomafoo."

"Figures."

"Hey, I can't help it if I like animals. Besides, that little leaping lemur sure knows how to bounce and play."

"Well thanks for clearing that up Lana," Lincoln said.

"You know what would be cool? If that spider dug a hole underground and covered it with a hinged trap door made of web, because that's what some spiders really actually do, you know? Really!"

"But that's not the way I wrote it."

"But it would really increase the danger in the story for you and for Clyde!"

"That would be cool Lana, but that's not the way I wrote it."

"The young tomboy does have a point," Lisa claims. "It would make more sense."

Lincoln sighed. "You want trap doors? You _got_ trap doors."

Back to the story.

" _ **Running for my life with Clyde at my side, keeping an eye out for trap doors."**_

 _The spider was seen running after them while spitting gum wads at them. Lincoln then took a retractable shield out of his pack._

 _ **"I decided to take out my shield."**_

 _"Nice blockage, buddy."_

 _"Thanks." Suddenly the gum had stopped flying. "Looks like she's out of ammo."_

 _Suddenly, the duo was hit with another wad._

 _"Nope, definitely not out of ammo," Clyde said as he was now stuck to the shield with gum._

 _Lincoln tried desperately to get Clyde off the shield, but no use. "You're all glued on Clyde!"_

 _"Lincoln! You gotta do something!"_

 _" **While I couldn't take that lying down, I knew I had to do something. So I reached into my trusty pack."**_

 _Suddenly a piece of gum shot out and stuck his pack to a nearby tree._

 _" **But the gum completely covered my backpack and there was no time to pull it out. The spider was coming on fast."**_

 _So Lincoln took the shield with Clyde on it and began running off. The spider was vastly approaching._

 _"You better step on it Lincoln!" Clyde shouts._

 _Suddenly, Clyde got hit in the face with the gum, making it land into his mouth._

 _"Clyde! You okay?"_

 _"I've been hit!"_

 _Lincoln then got an idea. "That's it! It's bubble gum! Chew Clyde, chew!"_

 _Clyde began chewing the gum as the spider was approaching._

 _"Quick! Blow Clyde, blow! Blow for your life."_

 _Clyde began blowing a massive bubble, getting bigger and bigger. The two boys then began lifting themselves into the air._

"That is highly illogical," Lisa explains. "The carbon dioxide in a bubble would never lift anything. You'd need helium or some sort of—."

 **" _We had just escaped the clutches of the spider. Lucky for us, a flock of wild geese came in."_**

 _Indeed, a swarm of geese did come in. The spider shot a web at a nearby tree, and one of the geese got caught in it._

"That's a laugh," Luan said. "Spiders really do have _fowl_ tastes."

"Well at least she got her lunch," Lincoln said. " ** _We looked down and watched as the giant spider began munching on the poor goose as if it were a burger."_**

Lincoln stopped for a second.

"Now I don't wanna gross you guys out, so you better not look."

"Oh come on Lincoln," Lana glares.

"Well….."

Lincoln continues the story.

 _ **"It took out a hamburger bun, spread some ketchup on it, and stuffed it into its mouth."**_

"Actually Lincoln," Lisa clarifies. "Spiders inject their prey with a digestive enzyme and then suck the liquid bitissue out through a straw like appendage in their fangs."

Everyone looked quite disgusted.

"Ew!" Lincoln exclaimed. "That's ultra gross."

"Yet somewhat cool," Lana said. "Just like a vampire. 'Bleh, bleh, bleh.'"

"Vampires do not say ' _bleh, bleh, bleh_!" Lucy argues.

"So what do you guys think?" Lincoln asked his sisters.

"Well," Lynn critiqued. "It was a little weird, but entertaining at the same time."

"While your story does include some inaccuracies," Lisa criticizes. "I did manage to find it quite fascinating."

"You've totes got to share that with your class!" Leni encouraged. "The kids are gonna like totally love it!"

"Thanks guys."

* * *

The next day in Lincoln's class, Lincoln had finished presenting his comic to the class.

"And that's my report. The end."

Lincoln's teacher was pretty skeptical, yet somewhat impressed. "Well, I must say, that was pretty far fetched, but very creative. Thank you for sharing that with us Lincoln."

With that, Lincoln went back to his seat.

"That was a pretty good story Lincoln," said his best friend Clyde. "Almost as great as that Ace Savvy comic we both made. But do you think anything like that could ever happen in real life?"

"Maybe so, and maybe not," Lincoln smirked before giving a wink to the audience.


	59. Facing Fears

**And now it's time to try something new. Based on a guest request, this chapter is a parody of an episode of _OK K.O. Let's be Heroes_. The episode being _Face your fears._**

 **Now before we begin, I would just like to say that this was not an easy story to write. So there's a chance it might not be that similar to the episode it's based on, but hopefully it'll be just as enjoyable.**

* * *

The Loud girls were in the living room watching television.

"That was the best episode ever," Leni cheers.

"Yeah," Lori says. "But the worst part is having to go through these stupid commercials."

"Let's just hope these things hurry fast," said Lola. "I don't think Lana can handle it."

Her twin got enraged. "WHAT?!"

"Remember that time when they had those cereal commercial marathons? You got so scared, you wouldn't eat cereal for a week."

"I was sleeping in that week!"

"' _Oh no! The pirate's gonna make me walk the plank!_ '" Lola mocks her and then laughed.

" _You're_ the pirate," Lana grumbled.

Just then, their brother Lincoln bashes through the door. "Guys!"

"Whoa Lincoln!" Luna said. "Where's the fire?"

"Sorry. But there's this new game at the arcade called _Face Your Fear_. It makes you face your biggest fears and it judges your fear resistance based on how well you do."

Lynn scoffs. "You geeks and your video games. We don't need some cockamamie machine to help us face our fears."

"Oh really? Then what's your fear resistance level? Must be pretty high."

"Try through the roof little bro."

"Yeah," Lisa agrees. "There'd be no point in us taking that stupid challenge. Since we are impervious to fear."

"' _Impervious_ ' my butt," Lincoln muttered. Just then, he got a mischievous idea. "Well then, if you guys think facing your fears is so easy, why don't you _prove_ it?"

Lola got suspicious. "Lincoln, what are you up to?"

"I'm just saying. If you guys _really_ think you're fearless, then I guess you wouldn't mind putting it to the test."

"Lincoln," Lori confronts. "We know what you're doing and it's not gonna work."

"Ah typical. Just like the time you said you could give up your annoying habits. Figures. I guess not wanting to prove that you're not scared proves that you really _are_ scared."

"WE ARE NOT SCARED!"

"Whatever you say, ladies."

Finally, the girls gave in.

"Alright fine," Lori groaned. "Let's go to the arcade and play the stupid game."

* * *

Lincoln led them to the arcade.

"Ready to do this girls?"

"Just so you know," Lori says. "We're only doing this to set an example for you."

"Yeah," Lynn agrees. "We haven't got anything to prove. This best be worth our time."

The kids all walked inside.

"There it is." Lincoln pointed to a scary looking arcade machine. " _The Fear Feaster_. Just insert a quarter."

"I got this." Lynn stepped forward, inserts a coin and turned the dial up to extra hard. "Pfft! Too easy." Lynn then turned to dial to _super_ extra hard.

"Uh Lynn?" Luna said. "I don't think that's such a good idea."

However, Lynn cranks it all the way up to _fear-mageddon_. This made the others feel scared out of their wits.

" _Fear-mageddon_?! Dude! You can't be serious!"

"Oh I'm serious." Lynn puts on the helmet and is in the game. But after just a few seconds, she began fidgeting like crazy.

Everyone looks concerned.

"Is Lynn okay?" Lincoln asked.

"Should we help her?" Lana suggested.

"Yeah, but we can't just unplug her," Lori said pointing to a warning label. "It says right here she could go into a coma!"

"I may have a solution," Lisa stated. "If I can hook up another VR helmet to Lynn, one of us could go into her fear space and help her."

"Well since I'm clearly the oldest, _I_ should do it." Lori stepped forward. "Hook me up, Lisa."

"With pleasure." Lisa attaches a helmet to Lori. "Preparations are complete and…...enter."

Lori was hooked up to the game and began getting the same reaction as Lynn did.

Lisa rolls her eyes. "Classic Lori."

"Looks like it's up to us!" Lana said. "Hook us up sis!"

"I'm afraid I cannot do that," Lisa explains. "Lynn's helmet has only one input port, and Lori is already plugged into it. You're gonna have to help Lori face her fears before helping Lynn overcome hers."

"Ugh! Fine!" Lola groaned. "Just plug us in."

"Very well."

So Leni, Luna, Luan, Lucy, Lana and Lola get plugged in. But then they all start having similar reactions.

"Dang it. It appears as though they can't handle their own fears. Looks like _I'm_ gonna have to go in." Lisa attempts to go into the machine, but Lincoln stopped her.

"No Lisa. _I_ should go."

"Are you sure you're okay with this Lincoln?"

" _I_ got my sisters into this mess, _I_ should be the one to get them out."

"I understand. But since I'm plugging you into the girls, you have to help them overcome each of their fears. Once you get to the end, you will all have to face the ultimate fear together. Are you ready?"

"I'm ready."

"Good luck, Lincoln." Lisa plugs Lincoln into the game.

* * *

Suddenly, Lincoln woke up in a dark void.

"Where am I?"

Just then, he spotted Lori who was looking sad and forlorn. "Please! Come back! I need you…"

Lincoln spotted 9 other figures floating above her, which were apparently his other sisters. The all just shook their heads, crossed their arms and faded away into a distance.

Lincoln was confused. "I don't get it. Is _this_ supposed to be Lori's greatest fear? It looks more like no one wants anything to do with her…." Lincoln then realized something. "Wait a minute! That's it! Lori's afraid of being unwanted. She worries that nobody needs her."

Lincoln then saw that Lori's sadness was quickly turning to rage. A giant inferno engulfed her and she rose above the ground.

Lincoln was left on the ground to think. "What was it that Lisa told me? I got it! Help my sisters overcome their fears! Which means I gotta make Lori feel wanted again!" He then got on his feet and shouted. "Lori! I have something to say to you!"

"Why should I listen to _you_?" The demon Lori shouts.

"Because I'm your brother! And I care about you! In fact, I used to be like you! I thought nobody cared about me! But I was wrong! Now I wanna be a better brother, and make sure you're never alone again! I promise, I'll make things right! If you want me to hang out with you, I'd be happy to say yes! Please Lori! Please believe me!"

"I…...I….I believe you!" Suddenly, the inferno began to go out as Lori crouched back down to the floor. "You really mean all those things you said?"

Lincoln approached her. "Lori, you're my big sister. Of course I meant every word. I had no idea you felt unneeded. If you needed someone to spend time with, you could've just asked me. I know I don't exactly have the same interests as you, but I'd love nothing more than to make you happy."

The two siblings then hugged. "Thanks Lincoln."

Just then, a magic door appears out of nowhere. "Ready to go get the rest of our sisters?"

"Only if you are."

Lori and Lincoln both exited through the door.

* * *

The next room looked like a surreal abstract painting.

"Wow!" Said Lincoln. "This is pretty weird."

"This might be Leni's greatest fear," Lori observes.

"What makes you say that?"

Lori points behind him revealing that they are being chased by a stampede of giant spiders.

"Yeah, that about sums it up. RUN!"

Both Lori and Lincoln dashed for their lives.

"You know?" Lincoln said. "I'm not surprised Leni's still afraid of spiders."

"You think this is bad? Dad has it even worse!"

"I guess sometimes Dad's more of a kid than we are."

Just then, the duo spotted their sister cowering in fear as a bunch of spiders approached her.

"LENI!"

Leni spotted her older sister and younger brother. "Lincoln! Lori! I'm so glad you're here! I need help!"

Lincoln and Lori jumped right in. "What's going on here?"

"I don't know! I just popped right in here and when I woke up, they were chasing me."

The three saw that they were being approached by not only giant spiders, but giant spiders in the worst fashion trends imaginable.

"A bunch of giant spiders with poor taste in fashion," Lincoln observes. "Who would have thunk it?"

"What can we do?" Lori asked.

"Leni, there's only one thing to do," Lincoln declares. "You got to tackle your fear head on."

"How do I do that?" Leni asked.

"Pet it!"

"What?"

"Just picture it as a big giant puppy!"

"A puppy with 8 eyes and 8 legs? Ew! No way!"

"Leni, it's okay to be afraid. We just have to face our fears."

"I can't."

Lori began to egg her on. "You can't fight a little bug?"

" _Little_?! Those things are _huge_!"

"What's the matter? You scared?"

"No! I'm not scared! It's just that—."

"Sure look scared."

"I am not!"

"I bet you are."

"You are such a know-it-all!"

"I know you're scared."

"You want me to do it?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah? Well you're gonna eat your words!"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!" Leni slowly but surely made her way towards the giant spider. She was still shaking with fear, but she reached her hand out and started scratching the spider under its chin. The result made the creature purr with delight. It then began snuggling with her and licking her in the face like a dog. At first Leni was disgusted, but then she laughed happily.

Lincoln and Lori were witnessing the whole thing.

"You think this will permanently erase Leni's fear of spiders?" Lincoln asked.

"Only time will tell, little bro," Lori replies.

Just then, another door opened up.

"Come on Leni!" Lori called. "It's time to go!"

"Coming!" Leni followed her brother and sister, but not before waving goodbye to her new 'friend'. The spider walked off. The minute Leni turned around, she immediately shudders.

* * *

In the next room, the three kids found themselves standing on a giant hardwood floor.

"This is so weird?" Lincoln says.

"Not as weird as the last room, but still pretty weird," Lori says.

"And why do I feel like I'm the size of a flea?" Leni asked.

Just then something came right at them and went SPLAT! When they saw what it was, it turned out to be something round, bright red and juicy (and somewhat soft and mushy).

"A tomato?" Lincoln questioned.

Lori sniffs it, but the scent made her gag. "A rotten tomato you might wanna add."

Lincoln then realized what was going on. "But that could only mean…"

Indeed, Lincoln was right. A bunch of rotten tomatoes came flying in towards them. The kids tried to dodge them when they came across two giant pairs of feet. One had a pair of brown dress shoes with pink flowers and yellow socks. The other was a pair of tall, purple lace-up boots. Lincoln looked up and saw that it was actually his two sisters Luna and Luan.

"Call me crazy," he said. "But something tells me this is the next level."

"Okay," Lori shrugged. "But why are Luna and Luan both here?"

"Maybe it's because they both sleep in the same room together?" Leni guessed.

But Lincoln had a better answer. "Or maybe it's because they both share the same fear!"

"What are you literally talking about?" Lori questions.

"Don't you get it? It's stage fright! They're both afraid of making a fool out of themselves on stage! Whether it's Luna's music or Luan's jokes! They just need a little encouragement!"

"But how are we gonna convince them when we're all the size of dust bunnies?"

"Maybe we could throw something to get their attention," Leni suggests.

"We can't! We might hit them in the face or something!"

Lincoln then had a better suggestion. "Wait! Throw _me_!"

The girls were shocked. "What?!"

"Lori, remember how you used to toss me in the air when I was a baby? I need you to throw me over to Luna. If I can get to her ear, I might be able to get her attention."

"Lincoln, I don't know if that's gonna work," Lori says.

"Well we have to try! Now throw me!"

Lincoln raises his arms up while Lori just sighed. She then picked up her brother and threw him into the air. As Lincoln was starting to descend, he managed to grab hold of Luna's shirt. He then continued to climb up until he finally reached her shoulder.

"I made it!" Lincoln panted. "Man, I should really ask Lynn to give me some parkour lessons."

Lincoln then got a hold of Luna's earring and shouted into her ear.

"LUNA!"

"Huh?" Luna then heard the voice of her brother, but she wasn't sure where it was coming from.

"What's wrong, Luna?" Luan asked.

"I just thought I heard a voice."

Lincoln shouted again. "Luna! It's me!"

"Lincoln? Bro? Where are you?"

"I'm right here! Right next to you!"

Suddenly, Luan spotted Lincoln hanging onto Luna's earring. She then picked him up and held him in the palm of her hand. "Lincoln? Is it really you?"

"Sure is."

"Wow!" Luna said with amazement. "How did you get so tiny?"

"It's a long story Luna. I'll explain later. So I'm guessing this is what you're both afraid of?"

Luna's smile immediately drooped. "Yeah. Once we got on this stage, the audience kept on throwing rotten tomatoes at us."

"They kept on laughing and taunting us and I think we're starting to reach our breaking down point," Luan further elaborated.

Lincoln then knew just what to do. "Okay look. I can help. We can get out of this, but I need you guys to listen to me. I know you're both afraid of making too much of a fool of yourselves on stage and your worried people are gonna make fun of you for it, but you shouldn't let that keep you from doing what you do best."

He then turned to his rockstar sister. "Luna, you're the greatest musician in the Loud house. I know it can be pretty loud, but without any of it, life would be pretty dull. You shouldn't change anything about you just to please everybody. You're already a rocking big sis." Luna couldn't help but smile at this.

Lincoln then turned to the comedian. "And Luan, you're great at making people laugh. I know you can go a bit overboard with your pranks sometimes, but it's not like you mean to hurt anyone. You just like doing what you do best. And without you, our lives wouldn't have any humor or amusement. Don't change that." Luan also gave a smile.

"So you see, you guys are the best at what you do and I'm glad you're my sisters. And no matter what anyone says, that doesn't make you any less than who you are."

The two girls looked towards each other.

"Dude, Lincoln's right!" Said Luna. "It's not what other people think that matters!"

"Yeah!" Luan agrees. "Why should we both be worried about looking stupid in front of others?"

"We're Louds!"

"And we're proud!"

As soon as they said those words, the angry crowd and the rotten tomatoes all started to disappear. Suddenly, Lincoln jumped out of Luna's hand and grew back to his normal size, as did the others.

Once they were all back to normal, the exit door opened up. All the girls went through it, but Lincoln stayed behind for a few seconds.

"I guess when two fears collide, it's one wild ride," he said to the audience.

Lincoln eventually followed his sisters.

* * *

Meanwhile, Lori, Leni, Luna and Luan were in a small room with walls that had Lynn's face all over them. The faces began laughing uncontrollably while the others were trying to find a way out.

"This isn't working," Lori groaned.

"I don't get it," Leni wondered. "What is Lynn even afraid of?"

Just then, Lincoln pops in out of nowhere. "Here I am." He then noticed everything around him. "Whoa! What the heck?"

Lori grabs a hold of him tightly. "Lincoln! Thank goodness you're here! I guess Lynn's claustrophobic or something, and I'm trying to find my way through, but nothing's working and this is driving me insane!"

"Claustrophobia doesn't sound right," Lincoln thought to himself. "Okay let's think. What do we know about Lynn?"

"Well she puts on this whole macho manly egotistical attitude," Lori states. "But deep inside she's just a big wuss."

"So maybe Lynn's ultimate fear is admitting her vulnerability."

"What does that mean?" Leni asked.

"It means Lynn's afraid to admit she's weak," Luna clarifies.

"Well how are we gonna do that? Lynn's the strongest one out of all of us."

Lincoln then got an idea. "That's it! Lynn's not weak on the outside! She's got weakness inside of her! We need to make her cry!"

The walls then started talking in Lynn's voice. " _How am I supposed to cry right now? I don't cry! I'm a rock!"_

Lincoln just smirked. "Every sports game just got rained out."

Just then, all the Lynn faces got shocked and began to burst into tears. " _Why?! Why is the world so cruel?!"_

The force of the crying was so strong, it began flooding the whole room.

"A rock?" Luan laughed. "More like a mushy sponge."

The kids kept swimming towards the surface until they finally reached the door and crawled right through it.

"Well that was intense," Lincoln said drying himself off.

"But where's Lynn?" Leni asked.

"I'm right here." Lynn pops up from behind, startling the others. (Think of it as 'pulling a Lucy').

"Geez, Lynn," Lincoln says. "At least give a guy a warning."

"Sorry. Guess Lucy's jump scares are starting to grow on me. Anyway, thanks for the save Lincoln. But if you _ever_ tell anyone I'm a softy, you'll bite your tongue so hard, you won't speak straight for a week!"

"Noted." Lincoln then thought of something else. "Speaking of Lucy, where is she?"

"I'm right here." Lucy appears right next to them, but she seems to be sitting down. "Took you guys long enough."

"Lucy! You okay?"

"Do I look okay?"

"Hard to say." Indeed it was. Lucy's face was so static, it was quite difficult to tell whether she was scared or not.

"How about that?" Lucy points in a certain direction. The kids looked and saw a bunch of men with long hair and tie dye shirts playing bongos.

"That's it?" Lincoln questioned. "You're scared of hippies?"

"That's not all."

Suddenly, there came more people with whizbees twirling on their fingers.

"Are those flying disk freestylers?" Lynn asked.

This made Lucy strain even more. "I can't stand it! So much peace! So much light! So much cheerfulness! It sickens me!"

"Wouldn't you know it?" Lynn taunted. "The spooky sister _actually_ gets spooked herself."

"Sometimes the one who does the scaring can be _scared_ ," Lucy replies.

"Well, can't you just make them go away or something?" Lincoln asked.

"I can't see that happening."

"Whaddya say we just make a run for it?" Lynn suggests.

"Works for me," Luna replies.

The kids just dashed towards the door at the end, while also trying to watch out for flying whizbees. At the last minute, the kids just jumped right into the exit, and the door disappears.

* * *

"Okay guys," Lincoln said. "Where are we now?"

"Um, bro?" Luna pointed down to reveal that they were on top of a giant pirate ship over an ocean.

"We're really high up," Lucy said.

"This must be Lana's fear!" Lincoln realized. "She's pretty afraid of heights."

The kids then heard Lana screaming in the background.

"I don't think that's the only thing she's afraid of," Lynn said.

The kids turned around and saw that their tomboyish little sister was all tied up in rope standing on a plank hanging over the ocean.

"Guys!" She shouted. "You gotta help me! This pirate is trying to throw me overboard!"

"Pipe down you greasy scalliwag!" The pirate bellowed.

"If I didn't know better," Lincoln said. "I'd say that looks like the same pirate that's on the cereal box."

Lynn began laughing. "Your greatest fear is cereal box mascots?"

"I can't help it! I had a nightmare that the cereal box mascot pirate made me walk the plank!"

Lynn kept on laughing.

"Not cool Lynn," said Luna.

"Don't listen to her Lana," Lincoln said. "You have to overcome this!"

Lana shivers. "I can't! I'm too scared!"

"Lana! Listen to me! I know you're scared, but you can't let your fear win! Next to Lynn, you're one of the toughest sisters I have! I know you're little, but even little girls can do big things too!"

"' _Little girls can do big things too,_ '" Lana repeated to herself. Her courage then started to come back. "Alright Lincoln! I'll give it a try!"

She then thought to herself. " _Come on Lana! Think! You're a tough girl! Tough girls don't get pushed around! What's the one thing that pirates do best? Come on! Think! Think!"_

Lana then remembered the time during that one Halloween where one of her costumes was a pirate. Then another flashback came with her dressing up as a knight with a toy sword.

She snapped back to reality. "That's it!"

Quick as she could, she broke out of the ropes and began sword fighting with the pirate. The rest of the kids watched in awe as their sister was winning the battle. Finally, with one little push, the pirate fell back into the ocean.

Lana stopped. "Looks like it's _you_ that went overboard."

"Lana!" Lincoln cheers. "You did it!"

"Did what?"

"You conquered your fear of cereal box mascots!"

"I did?" Lana then realized. "I did! I really did! And you know what? I don't think I'm scared anymore."

"So I guess you aren't afraid of _heights_ anymore either?"

"Don't push it brother."

Just then, another door opened up, and the kids walked right through it.

* * *

Next they arrived in what appeared to be a pageant hall, where they seemed to be in the audience.

"This must be the place alright," Lincoln said.

"Well if it is, then where's Lola?" Lori asked.

Just as she said that, there on the stage, the curtains open. Out came Lola, who didn't look as confident as she usually does. This time, she seemed more nervous and shaken up.

In the crowd, all she could hear was the audience booing and saying rude things (with the exception of her siblings).

"What's going on?" Leni asked.

"Yeah," Lana agrees. "Everyone's acting as if they _hate_ her or something."

Lincoln then thought of something. "Wait! That's it! Aren't people scared of Lola because they think she's evil?"

"Yeah. So?"

"So Lola must be afraid of her bad reputation. She's scared that everyone sees her in a bad spotlight and that it ruins her pageant career. Don't you get it? It means everything to her! It's her hopes, her dreams, her reason to live!"

Lana just gave him a deadpanned look. "I think you've been listening to her drama talk too much."

"Well it makes sense, doesn't it?"

The crowd kept on booing. Lola keeps cowering in fear until she hears a familiar voice.

"Lola! Hey Lola! Over here!"

Lola spotted her brother and sisters in the audience. "Linky? Is that you?"

"Lola! Don't listen to them! You're better than this! Remember when I made that switch for you in your yearbook? Well I did that because you're my sister and I didn't want you to ruin your life! I know you can act a bit crazy and manipulative sometimes, but deep inside, you're a good person! You gotta fight your fear!"

"I don't know Linky!"

"Think to yourself! What's the key to true beauty?"

Lola repeats that question in her head and then remembered. "The key to having true beauty," she said out loud. "Is having big hair and an even bigger heart!"

Suddenly the crowd looked surprised.

"Perfect balance of sap and sass," Lincoln says.

"You said that the _last_ time," Lynn claims.

Right after the judges announced Lola as the winner and handed her the trophy, all the Loud kids are sucked into the exit door to their final destination.

* * *

Finally, the kids found themselves in what appears to be a broken down city of Royal Woods.

"Now where are we?" The girls asked.

The girls looked around and saw torn up and broken down pictures of themselves everywhere. Each of them had glares on posters and billboards.

"Is that supposed to be us?" Lynn asked.

"Who's greatest fear is this?" Lana questioned.

"It's mine," their sole brother admitted, looking quite nervous.

"Is that _all_ you're afraid of?" Lola asked. "It's no big deal really."

"Yeah," Lynn agrees. "And we've already forgiven each other for those incidents of which I'd rather not mention."

"That's not what I'm scared of!" Lincoln shouts. "It's _this_!"

Just then, Lincoln looked as though he was about to vomit. Suddenly, out of his mouth came a dark blob.

"Lincoln," Lynn says. "What the heck is that?"

"Well, last night while I was sleeping, I had a dream that _this_ came out of me," Lincoln answered, "and it was really powerful."

"Is _that_ what you're afraid of?" Luna asked.

"Uh…...I don't know. I guess so."

Suddenly the blob takes the form of Lincoln and grows to a monstrous size.

"Yep, this is Lincoln's fear," Lana said.

"Seems pretty dark though," Lola says.

"More like demonic, I'd say," Lucy states.

"Well whatever it is, I think it wants to destroy us!" Leni shrieked.

For once, what Leni said was true. The monstrous demon Lincoln was indeed trying to smash them all with its giant fists. The kids all split up into their own directions. But no matter how hard they try to dodge the attacks, the monster was too fast to be beat.

"This isn't like Lincoln at all!" Lynn said. "We're never gonna defeat it! How come this thing is so fast?"

"I don't know!" Lincoln responded. "I just remembered everything happening really _fast_! Like I was resting in my bed and then all of a sudden, that demon appeared! Almost like it was waiting for…"

Lincoln was cut off as a pillow flew in his face.

"Where'd that come from?" Leni asked.

Lori then realized something. "Wait a minute! We're literally inside Lincoln's mind! Anything he thinks about appears in here!"

"Lincoln!" Lana shouts. "Start thinking of something!"

"What?" Lincoln questioned.

"You have to use your thoughts to trap that thing," Lucy further elaborated.

"Okay." Lincoln tried concentrating, and vanzilla appears, but only half of it.

"Think _harder_!" Lynn ordered.

"I'm trying!"

Lincoln tried again and the rest of the the van appears.

Lori hopped into the drivers seat as the rest of the kids got in the back.

The van drove off trying to avoid the demon, but it still moved too swiftly.

"Ahhhhh!" Lola screams. "Look out! He's trying to beat us!"

"Lincoln!" Luan ordered. "You gotta think of something to distract it!

"Come on bro!" Luna encourages. "Just use your mind and take a step at a time!"

Lincoln tried, but he was still struggling. "I can't!"

Lana then came up with something. "Remember that time when we ate all that cereal?"

"Ugh! Yeah! We must've eaten like a million boxes because you wanted that _Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles_ figurine!"

Then a bunch of cereal and milk began pouring down. But even with that, the monster still was not done.

Lincoln tried to think of something else. "I remember those two jerks on the football team!"

Hawk and Hank then appear, but the monster ended up defeating them too.

Suddenly, one of the fists was coming towards the van. The kids immediately jumped out just in time before the van was destroyed.

"This ain't good!" Luna said.

"Come on Lincoln!" Lynn ordered. "Do something!"

"Hold on! I'm thinking!" Lincoln tried to imagine something else. What came up was a vacuum.

"That's it?" Lola questioned. "After all that, you thought of a _vacuum cleaner_?"

"Not just _any_ vacuum. This one sucks up ghosts and demons."

"Well that _sucks_ ," Luan laughed. "Get it?"

Lola was the most annoyed. "Luan? You're my sister, and I love you, but please don't _ever_ make that joke again!"

"It was pretty corny," Lana agrees.

* * *

Back on the the sole Loud brother, Lincoln held the vacuum in his arms and turned it on to turbo power. He aimed it towards the demon and attempted to suck it up, but it seemed as though it was no use. And on top of that, the closer it got, the more Lincoln got scared.

"It's no use! I can't do it!"

Suddenly, he felt two hands rest on each of his shoulders. Which turned out to be Lori and Leni. "Don't give up little bro!"

"Yeah!" Leni agrees. "You can like totally beat this thing!"

Next came Luna and Luan. "Just believe in yourself bro!" Luna said.

"Yeah!" Luan agrees. "Cage that rage!"

"Don't let the fear win Link!" Lynn encourages.

"You're bravery is strong as long as we're together," Lucy chimes in.

Finally the twins. "We're always there for you Linky!"

(And in case you guys are wondering about Lily, she remained outside with Lisa).

Lincoln then smiled. His sisters' words were so heartwarming that they made him feel stronger. Suddenly, his body begins to glow as he levitated into the air. Lincoln was surprised by this sudden change.

"Huh? That's weird. I feel…...stronger. I guess my sisters give me all the strength I need." Lincoln then got his courage back and faced the demon. "Back in the cage with you!"

He used the vacuum and sucked the demon into it. As he got back down to the ground, Lincoln reveals that his demon self was trapped in a tiny cage.

"Done and done."

Just then, the demon slipped out of the cage and placed itself back into Lincoln's head. The girls then approached him.

"Is it over?" Lola asked.

"I think so," Lana replies. "But where'd that demon thing go?"

"I think he's back in my head," Lincoln says.

"That's good," Lynn replied. "But what was that thing?"

"That thing….. was my anger," Lincoln explains. "My greatest fear is that one day I might turn against you."

Even Lynn was surprised. "You mean you're scared that you might turn evil and end up attacking us?"

Lincoln nods.

The girls all looked at each other.

"Lincoln," Lori spoke. "You don't need to worry about that."

"I don't?"

"Of course not," Lana assures. "You're our brother. We know you'd never do anything to hurt us."

"You're just too much of a nice guy," Lola adds. "Why _else_ would you come in here to help us overcome our fears?"

Lincoln smiles, but then began to feel worried again. "But what if my anger tries to come out again?" He asked. "I don't think I can hold it in forever."

"You can always use your words, you know," Lucy explains.

"Yeah bro," Luna agrees. "We'll always be here if you wanna talk with us."

"And if you ever feel like hitting some _body_ ," Luan said. "Stop and find some _thing_ to hit instead."

"Yeah," Lynn agrees. "You can always just take a pillow and give it a good punch. It always works for me."

Lori then places her hand on his shoulder. "Just remember, your anger or your fear won't go away forever, but you shouldn't let them change who you are."

Lincoln smiles. But then he began feeling something strange in his chest. He then fell to his knees and held his shirt tightly. Despite his sisters getting worried, it was actually a good thing he was feeling. Almost as if a burden was being lifted from his heart. (Think of it as similar to the moment where the grinch's heart grows three sizes). After a short while, Lincoln starts feeling better.

"LINCOLN!" The girls shout. "Are you okay?"

Lincoln got back on his feet. "Yeah. I'm okay. In fact, I think I feel even _better_ than before! I don't feel scared anymore!"

"Good for you, little bro," Lynn congratulated.

"But you're not gonna blackmail us using our fears, are you?" Lola asked.

"I doubt I would be a good brother if I _did_ ," Lincoln said.

Suddenly the last door opened up.

"Shall we go home ladies?"

The girls all agreed and head out the door.

* * *

Back at the arcade, the kids all woke up and took the helmets off.

"Welcome back to reality," Lisa greeted.

"I gotta admit," Lincoln says. "That was pretty amazing. But seriously, you guys shouldn't be afraid of being scared. Being scared is a natural thing."

"I suppose you're right little bro," Lori says.

Just then, a thought came to Lana's head. "You know what I'm wondering? Lincoln knows what we're scared of, and we know _his_ greatest fear too." She then pointed to Lisa. "But what are _you_ afraid of?"

Lisa pauses for a moment. "Uhhhhh….."

She then had a flashback about her walking through the park when she saw something on the street. Which appears to be a mime. Lisa then got frightened and hid behind a bench.

Flashback ends and Lisa snaps back to reality.

"That's classified information."

* * *

 **I hope you all enjoyed this. Now I do have a little confession. I had a little trouble figuring out what the Loud kids greatest fears would be (except for Leni). One of the most difficult ones to come up with was Lana. Now I know she's had a fear of heights, but I couldn't seem to make that work, then I remembered from _Regular Show_ that Rigby had a fear of amusement park mascots, and I thought it was just so funny that I couldn't resist doing something similar to that. **

**This wasn't exactly the easiest story to do, but at least I did try.**

 **Anyway, stay tuned for more**


	60. A kiss in time

**And now, here is a story based on _Regular Show's Bad Kiss_ episode.**

 **Of course I have been getting a few requests to do a story like this, so now here it is.**

 **Also, Happy Valentine's Day**

* * *

It was a night like any other. Lincoln and Lori were on a double date with Bobby and Ronnie Anne. We see the four coming out from inside the movie theater.

"So, what did you guys think?" Lori asked.

"Oh you know," Bobby said. "It was pretty good."

"Though I think I'm gonna like the remake better," Ronnie Anne shrugged.

"Well I'm glad _you_ enjoyed it," Lincoln groaned. "I missed all the best parts because Lana was trying to talk to me."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Lori exclaimed. "The rest of our sisters were back at home, remember?"

"Whatever."

"So what now?" Bobby asked.

"How about we head over to our house for some of our famous homemade Loud-shakes?"

"Sounds good," Ronnie Anne agrees.

* * *

Later that night, Lori was busy driving when they finally arrived at the Loud house.

"So what's in a Loud-Shake again?" Ronnie-Anne asked.

"It's a surprise," Lincoln snickers.

Lori turns to Bobby. "It's literally just a _regular_ milkshake."

Everyone then got out of the car and walked up the stairs to the front door.

"You seriously gonna load up on desserts after that chili dog incident, little Loud?" Bobby asked.

"Ugh! That was literally so gross!" Lori said.

"Don't remind me," Ronnie Anne gagged.

"Come on guys!" Lincoln says. "There's _always_ room for dessert! Especially when the dessert is Loud-Shakes!" Lincoln was about to open the door, when he realized something was missing. "Dang it. I forgot something in the car. I'll be right back."

* * *

Lincoln headed back to the van. Ronnie Anne followed him to go check on him. "Hey, lame-o. What's up?"

"Oh, uh. I can't find my wallet."

"Okay. Let me check." She came into the car to help him search. "Did you check the glove compartment?"

"Yeah, I checked….there…...already."

The two then began staring at each other awkwardly. As soon as they saw that no one was looking, they leaned in closer to each other and kissed. However, afterwards, Ronnie Anne felt a little disgusted and pushed Lincoln away.

Lincoln looks a little nervous. "Oh sorry. I shouldn't have…."

"No. It's fine. It's just….."

"What?"

"Your breath is really bad."

This shocked Lincoln like a toaster in a bathtub. "Oh no! Oh my gosh!"

"No really it's…"

"I'm sorry! Im sorry!"

"Lincoln! Wait!"

But it was too late. Lincoln rushed out of the car and to the front door where Lori was talking with Bobby.

"You know, Lincoln came up with the name Loud-Shakes," Lori says. "So technically…"

Just then, Lincoln frantically rushed to the door. "Loud-shakes are cancelled! Goodnight Bobby!"

"Wait, what?"

"No time to explain! Gotta go!" Lincoln pulled Lori into the house and shut the door, leaving the Santiago's alone.

"Uhhh….goodnight?"

Lori freed her arm from Lincoln. "Lincoln! What is literally wrong with you?"

"What? Me? Nothing! Nothing's wrong!"

"Something's up. You're acting weird."

"What do you mean by weird?"

"Did something happen between you and Ronnie Anne?"

"No! Really it's nothing! It's just I…..I….forgot to make my bed!"

Of course that was a lie, but Lori just ignores it.

* * *

Upstairs, Lincoln dashes all the way to his room and shuts the door.

Lana was peeking out of her room, and decided to go investigate. She went up to her brother's room and opened the door. What she saw was Lincoln lying face down on the bed with his face buried in his pillow.

"Hey Lincoln. What's wrong?"

Lincoln looks towards his door and saw his little sister. "Go away Lana. I'm not in the mood right now."

"Listen, I know you're upset about something. But you know, it doesn't hurt to talk about it."

"Sis, _nothing_ is wrong with me! So just get out of my room!"

"Come on, Lincoln. I'm your sister. You can tell me anything. I wanna help you, but I can't do anything if you won't talk to me. So I'm not leaving until you tell me what you're upset about."

Lincoln took another look at Lana and could tell she was being serious. "Do you promise not to tell anyone?"

"I promise," Lana said as she shut Lincoln's door.

Lincoln then sat on his bed. "Okay, here it goes. The truth is…. I kissed Ronnie Anne!"

Lana was shocked. "What?! You did?! Bro, that's amazing!"

"No, that's not it. The worst part is…..when I kissed her…...she said I had bad breath." Lincoln looks down in shame.

"Seriously? You didn't check first?"

"I was in the moment!"

"You gotta pack a mint, bro."

"Ugh! That was our secret kiss and I blew it! Now she's never gonna want to talk to me again! I just wish I could do it all over again."

Lana felt sympathetic. "Sorry Lincoln. I don't think I can help."

"But _I_ might have something." The two kids were startled to see that Lisa was in Lincoln's room.

"Lisa!" Lincoln shouts. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"I could hear your voice through the wall."

"Dang it!" Lincoln mutters. "I forgot how thin our walls are."

"I couldn't help but overhear your current predicament. Therefore I have come up with a perfect solution."

"You talking about the chronomatic of yours? Because in case you haven't noticed, Lana threw it into a vortex that was destroying our universe."

"I'm well aware of that. Therefore I have developed a new and improved handheld version." Lisa pulls out a little spherical gadget. "Presenting the chronosphere 3000."

"How does it work?" Lana asked.

"I don't know. I never got around to testing it."

"Give me that!" Lincoln snatched the device. "Where's the on-switch?"

Lisa tried grabbing the device back. "Stop! You're gonna break it!"

Lincoln presses the button on it repeatedly. "I just wanna go back to 15 minutes ago."

Just then, the machine began flashing and the three disappeared.

* * *

Moments later, the three appeared outside in the front yard.

Lincoln was surprised. "What just happened?"

"This thing just sent us outside," Lana said equally surprised. "What a rip-off."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that," Lisa observes. "Look!"

Lincoln and Lana saw what Lisa was pointing at, and they saw past-Lori, Lincoln, Bobby and Ronnie Anne walking up the stairs to the house.

"Whoa! This is weird," Lana thought.

"Quiet!"

The kids ran off to hide in a bush that was right next to vanzilla. They watched as past-Lincoln got into the front seat of the car.

"Well don't just stand there," Lisa orders. "Do something."

"Like what?" Lincoln asked.

"I don't know."

"I can't just barge in there. What if I see myself?"

"That's kinda ironic seeing as how you're watching yourself right now."

"You know what I mean."

"You know what else is ironic? Ronnie-Anne is coming this way." The kids watched as the young Santiago girl went towards the car with Lincoln. "Look how nervous you are." Lana deepened her voice in a mocking tone. "' _Hey baby, can you find what I'm looking for?'_ " She then changed her voice to mimic Ronnie-Anne's. "' _Okay_.'" Lana then giggles to herself.

Lincoln felt slightly offended. "Hey, I don't sound like that. And Ronnie Anne doesn't sound like that either." Lincoln then tried imitating Ronnie Anne's voice. " _'You are such a lame-o.'_ "

The three were surprised as Lincoln's impression sounded just like the young Santiago's.

"Whoa!" Lana gasps. "I didn't know you can sound like that."

"Yeah," Lincoln agrees. "I never knew how great a Ronnie-Anne impression I do."

"That is pretty cool. You know, I can sound just like Lola sometimes."

Just suddenly, the three disappeared once again.

* * *

Within one second, the trio was back in Lincoln's room in the present.

"What happened?" Lincoln wonders.

"I didn't touch it," Lana claims.

Lisa observes. "Perhaps there's a glitch in the system."

"That's what you get for a prototype," Lincoln groaned.

"Hey! But it works! Let me try!" Lana grabs the device from Lisa and pressed the button. "Go back 2 months ago." Lana disappeared and then came back after just a few seconds. "Awesome!"

Lincoln was not amused. "Lana! Quit fooling around! We have a job to do!"

"Our male sibling unit is correct," Lisa confirms.

"Okay. Let's think. How do we fix my bad breath in the past, so that way, when I kiss Ronnie-Anne, it's _not_ bad?"

"I keep telling you bro," Lana said. " _Mint_."

"That's it! We'll just go back earlier into the night and give my past self a mint. Guys, for once I'm glad you interfered." Lincoln presses the button. "2 hours ago." The trio disappeared.

* * *

The three then appeared in the movie theater where Lincoln, Lori, Bobby and Ronnie Anne were watching the movie.

"You got the mints?" Lincoln asked as Lana handed them to him.

Lincoln began throwing the mints towards his past self, hitting him in the back of the head. The past Lincoln turned around to see who was throwing the mints, but saw nothing.

The trio had ducked behind a few chairs.

"Lincoln, I doubt this is gonna work," Lisa states.

"Well I don't want me to see _me_ ," Lincoln clarifies.

Lana groaned. "Give me those!"

"Lana wait!"

Lana took the minutes and ran towards past-Lincoln. "Psst! Hey, Lincoln!"

The past-Lincoln turned around. "Lana? What are you doing here?"

"That's not important. Bro, you want some mints?"

"What? No sis. Shush."

"Come on. They're really good. Here, take a couple."

"Don't wanna!"

"Just take them!"

"STOP!"

Lana fell back and the mints flew everywhere, causing a ruckus.

"LINCOLN!"

"Little bro, we're trying to watch the movie," Lori scolded.

"Well tell Lana to stop trying to…..wait!" Past-Lincoln turned around and saw nothing.

* * *

The three teleported back to the present.

Lincoln was exasperated. "Ugh! Why wouldn't I just take a mint?!"

"Sorry to say, but I'm just as clueless as you," said Lisa.

"You know," Lana wonders. "You wouldn't even _need_ a mint if you hadn't eaten that chili dog earlier."

"That's it!" Lincoln says. "I'll just stop myself from eating it!"

* * *

The kids then teleport to outside the movie theater where Lincoln sees himself ordering from a food truck.

"Dang it!" He said. "I'm about to order! If only that truck wasn't there."

"Big bro, just leave it to me." Lana ran over and hid behind the truck.

"You know what you want?" The vendor asked.

The past Lincoln began ordering. "Yeah. I'll take a sloppy dan dog with extra onions and sauerkraut."

"Extra? Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Pile em on!"

Meanwhile, Lana took the wheel stoppers from the truck. The truck rolled back and went down a hill, and the chili dog fell down to the ground. The past Lincoln picked it up and ate it while Lori, Bobby and Ronnie Anne look disgusted.

"What? Five second rule."

Even the future Lincoln was disgusted. "That _was_ really disgusting."

Lana looked a little jealous however. "Too bad that wasn't me."

"Says the girl who wouldn't even eat a peanut butter and sauerkraut sandwich," Lisa criticizes.

"Let's not dwell on that please."

Suddenly, the three get teleported through a time vortex.

"Ugh!" Lincoln groaned "What's wrong with me? If only I had eaten something _earlier_ , I never would've even wanted that dumb chili dog." Lincoln then got an idea and pressed the button. "7 hours ago."

* * *

They all got teleported to Gus' Games n Grub. They see Lori in her uniform bringing a piece of apple pie to a booth where past Lincoln and Bobby were sitting at.

"Hey guys. Saved the last piece of apple pie just for you."

"No thanks babe," Bobby said.

"Yeah," past Lincoln agrees. "We're saving room for chili dogs tonight."

"Okay." Lori heads back to work. The future Lincoln came in.

"Hey Lori?" He called. "We'll take that pie after all."

"Okay. Sure." Lori came back to the table. "Here you go."

Past Lincoln was confused. "What? We said no."

"Huh?"

"Yeah," Bobby reminded. "Chili dogs tonight. Remember?"

"Oh sorry. It's literally been a long day."

Lori heads back to work again and future Lincoln calls out for her. "Lori! Where's the pie? And can we get some sandwiches too, with fries?"

"Sure." Lori heads back to the table, but was starting to get suspicious. "Here's your food. The fries will be out in a minute."

"Are you feeling alright babe?"

"Come on guys! If you're trying to mess with me, it's not funny!"

"We're not! I swear!"

The past trio was hiding behind some arcade games and watched as Lori was arguing with the two boys.

"Great!" Lincoln sighed. "Now Lori's mad at me."

Lisa shook her head slowly. "Typical. As if you couldn't tick her off enough."

"You know, it's kinda ironic," Lana wonders. "A lot of the things you did tonight all happened because of us going through time."

"Well I'm not giving up. There's gotta be a way to fix my bad breath." Lincoln thought, and then it hit him. "I've got it."

* * *

Scene changes to the morning when Lincoln was in the bathroom preparing for the double date. He opened the medicine cabinet and saw a toothbrush, toothpaste and dental floss, but instead he took the hair comb.

"Oh yeah. _That's_ what the ladies like."

Suddenly the future Lincoln, Lana and Lisa bashed through the door. Lincoln grabbed his past self. "Quick! Lana! The mouthwash!"

Lana took out a bottle of mouthwash and attempted to pour it into his mouth, but the past Lincoln was still struggling to break free. "It's for your own good!"

* * *

Suddenly, the four of them all get teleported back to the present into Lincoln's room.

"Get off me!" The past Lincoln shoves himself off and everyone sat on the floor. Then they all gasped.

"Oh no!" Future Lincoln said.

"This does not look good," Lisa states.

"Talk about deja vu," Lana said.

Past Lincoln got suspicious. "Wait a minute. Who are you guys."

"I'm _you_ from the future," Lincoln clarifies to himself.

"What?! Where am I?! What year is this?!"

"Relax," Lana assures. "It's still the _same_ day. Just later at night."

"Well take me back! I don't want to cease to exist or anything."

His future self got a little worried. "Wait. If we removed me from the past, does that mean _I'm_ gonna disappear?"

"I don't know," Lana shrugs. "I'm not an expert on time travel."

Lisa adjusts her glasses. "Technically, I think that only applies if you remove yourself _permanently_."

Lincoln approaches his past self. "Okay. Listen me. There's a reason why we had to do this. We finally kissed Ronnie Anne tonight."

His past self was in disbelief. "What? No way."

"No really! It's true! But we messed it up. We had bad breath and she pushed us away. So Lana, Lisa and I were traveling back in time to fix it."

"Don't tell me Lisa made _another_ time machine after the last one tried to destroy our universe."

"We did," Lisa clarifies. "And it really works."

"Whatever. All I know is that people from the future tell lies. Remember when we got stuck with 3 Lisas?"

"But this is different!" His future self said.

"And why are you so nervous about kissing Ronnie Anne anyway? I mean you practically already did it _twice_. And another thing, what's this ' _we_ ' kissed Ronnie Anne business? _I_ haven't kissed Ronnie Anne tonight yet. Just because _you_ messed up tonight doesn't mean _I'm_ gonna."

"That's not how it works!"

"Forget it pal! I already have 10 sisters meddling in my life. I don't need another one of _me_ doing it too."

Lisa and Lana felt pretty offended. "Hey!"

"Now give me that piece of junk!" Past Lincoln snatches the time machine.

"Wait!"

"Don't worry," Lana assures. "It's not like he's gonna figure out how to use it."

Past Lincoln presses the button. "Take me back to this morning." He then teleported away while everyone looked in shock.

"Well _that_ came out of nowhere," Lisa said.

"I guess he's _smarter_ than you somehow," said Lana.

"Well I guess that's it then. We lost the time machine." Lincoln then sat on his bed. "Now I have to live with this kiss for the rest of my life."

"Never say never brother," Lana said with a sly smile.

"I _didn't_ say never."

"Who's your favorite little sister?"

"What are you talking about?"

Lana pulls out a second time machine from under her hat. "Ta-dah!"

Both Lincoln and Lisa were surprised. "What? How?"

"Remember when I sent myself back two months ago? You thought I was just fooling around. But I went back and got a second time machine."

"Lana! You're a genius!" Lincoln then realized what he just said. "No offense Lisa."

"None taken," she replied.

"Come on guys. We gotta stop me before it's too late." The kids all placed a hand on the time machine. "And just so you know, I don't pick favorites." Lincoln presses the button. "Back to this morning!"

* * *

The three kids then teleported to earlier that day where they met up with past-Lincoln. They began chasing after him, but he ran away. The chase was so long, they even went back to some of their previous adventures from past episodes (including _Pasture Bedtime, City Slickers, Tripped!, Pulp Friction, Suite and Sour, Yes Man, 11 Louds a Leaping, For Bros About to Rock,_ all the way up to the episode _Left in the Dark_ ).

Next everyone is traveling through a time vortex.

"Come on, stop!" Lana shouts. "We're trying to help you!"

"Yeah right!" Past-Lincoln barked back. "You're not gonna stop me from kissing Ronnie-Anne!"

"Whatever pal," Present-Lincoln taunted. "It's not like you'll never figure out that I kissed her in the van at 11:55 pm."

"Lincoln!" Lisa said feeling shocked. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I have a plan." He then turned to his past self. "Dang it! I can't believe I just gave that away! I'm such an idiot!"

Past-Lincoln presses the button. "11:55!" He is then teleported to the time in question. He spotted another past self, and threw him out of the car. He then tied that one up and threw him in the bush. "Sorry bro. But you're not getting _my_ kiss tonight."

The van door then opened. "Oh hey Ronnie Anne. What's up?" However, when he turns around, he saw it was actually his future self. "Ahh! Look! Just stay away from me!"

The past Lincoln got out of the car and stumbled back, only for Lisa and Lana to grab him.

"Quick! Lisa! Lana! Go back to the present and remember to destroy the chronosphere!"

Lisa glares. "Okay fine! But you owe me a Favor Coupon!"

Lana rolls her eyes. "Well, he _will_ owe you anyway."

Both Lana and Lisa teleported Past-Lincoln to the present. At the same time, both Lana and the present Lincoln destroyed the time machines (Lincoln threw one to the ground, while Lana used her sledgehammer) and everything was back to normal again.

* * *

Back in the past like before, Lincoln went into the front seat of the van.

Ronnie Anne came in. "Hey lame-o. What's up?"

Lincoln felt nervous. "Oh…...uh…... I think I left my wallet in here."

Ronnie-Anne came in to help. "Did you check the glove compartment?"

"Yeah I checked there…..already."

Once again (just like before), the two were staring at each other. Lincoln gulps as Ronnie-Anne puckered up her lips and leaned in for a kiss. But then Lincoln realized he forgot to take a breath mint and didn't want a repeat, so he weasels out by finding his wallet underneath the seat.

"Oh! I found it."

"Oh. Okay. Great."

Lincoln pretended to be a little confused. "Were you just about to—?"

This made Ronnie Anne blush. "What?! No! Of course not! Whatever gave you that idea?"

"Nothing. It's just that you—."

"I wasn't doing anything! I swear! And I definitely wasn't trying to kiss you if that's what you're thinking, punk!"

Lincoln shrugged it off. "Whatever loser." Lincoln rubbed the back of his head. "So anyway, you wanna head inside?"

"Yeah. Sure."

Both kids went up the stairs. "Who's ready for Loud-shakes?"

"Yeah," Lori answered. "Took you long enough."

"You have no idea," Lincoln said with a mischievous smile. Everyone went inside. "You know, _I_ came up with the name Loud-Shakes."

"Yeah, yeah."

Everyone headed inside, almost as if the whole time travel adventure never happened at all.


	61. Short: Chocolate Ice Cream

**Based on a _Sesame Stree_ t segment.**

* * *

In the dining room, Lincoln was at the table eating a big bowl of chocolate ice cream. "Boy, do I love chocolate ice cream," he said to the readers. "I love it so much that I ate _all_ of my chocolate ice cream. As a matter of fact….." he then made sure that there was no one else listening. "Matter of fact, I even ate all of _Lynn's_ chocolate ice cream. You see, I was so hungry after finishing _my_ chocolate ice cream, that I had to eat all of _her_ chocolate ice cream, and I don't know what I'm gonna do when she gets home, because I'll bet _she's_ gonna want some chocolate ice cream. Oh no."

"Hey Lincoln!"

Lincoln heard Lynn come through the front door and immediately hid his spoon and bowl.

Lynn came into the dining room.

"Oh, hi there Lynn," Lincoln greeted nervously. "How are you?"

"Oh I'm great!" Lynn answered. "And you know _why_ I'm great?"

"No. Why are you great?"

"Because today, right now, I'm gonna eat my chocolate ice cream."

This made Lincoln even more worried.

"I've been waiting all day for it. Hey, it's in the refrigerator, would you go get it for me?"

"You want me to go get it?"

"Yeah. Be a pal. Go get it."

"Uh Lynn? There's something that I think you should know."

"Well you can tell me afterwards. But right now I wanna eat my chocolate ice cream. Okay?"

"You do, huh?"

"Yeah, go get it for me. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Oh chocolate ice cream."

"You want some chocolate ice cream, huh?"

"Oh yeah. Right now."

"Chocolate. Chocolate ice cream." Lincoln left to the kitchen.

"Oh I've been waiting for this all day. Oh how I love chocolate ice cream."

Lincoln came back with a plate. "Here you are, Lynn. A nice plate of chocolate ice cream just for you."

However, Lynn saw that what was on the plate wasn't chocolate ice cream at all. But instead was an unpeeled banana. "Lincoln? What is _that_?!"

"That's chocolate ice cream."

"Lincoln that is _not_ chocolate ice cream!"

"It's not?"

"No!"

"How can you tell that's not chocolate ice cream?"

"Oh come on Lincoln. You know better than that. That is _hard_. Chocolate ice cream is _soft_ and _mushy_."

"Oh right. Soft and mushy. Just a second." Lincoln left the room and came back with a fork.

"Lincoln, what are you doing?"

Lincoln took the fork and started mushing the banana with it. "We'll just take this fork and what we'll do is just mush it up a little bit. You want ice cream that's mushy? We'll just mush up this ice cream here."

Lynn was not amused. "Okay Lincoln, stop it, just stop it! So it's mushy now. So what? You know, chocolate ice cream is also _cold_. And that is not cold."

"Cold?"

"You know better than that. Yes. Ice cream is cold too."

"Right. Just a second Lynn." Lincoln left the dining room.

"Lincoln, what are you doing."

Lincoln came back with some ice cubes this time. "I got some ice cubes here, see?" Lincoln put the ice cubes onto the plate. "We can just put these ice cubes into the ice cream and make it soft and mushy and cold."

"You think that'll do it?"

"Sure."

Lynn was getting exasperated. "Oh come on bro. You know better than that. Chocolate ice cream is also _brown_ Lincoln. That is not brown there!"

"Brown?"

"Yeah!"

Lincoln took off again. "Just a minute Lynn!"

"Where's he going….what are you doing this time?!"

This time, Lincoln got a gravy boat. "We've got a little gravy here, see?"

"Gravy?"

Lincoln poured the gravy all over the plate. "And We'll just pour the old gravy all over the ice cream here and make it brown."

"BLECH!" Lynn was both shocked and disgusted by what she saw on the plate.

"There we go. Not only is it soft, mushy and cold, but it's also brown. So…"

Just then, Lana came in through the back door with two chocolate ice cream cones in her hands. "Hey you guys. Look what I got."

"Hi Lana."

"Flip just gave me a couple of chocolate ice cream cones. And I can't eat both of them myself so I thought one of you might like one."

"Sure I'll take one Lans." Lynn took one cone from Lana's hand. "Hey Lincoln, I'll take this and you can have that yucky mess there. Thanks Lana."

Lana took a look at the plate on the table. "Hold the phone! Is that a mashed banana with ice cubes and cold gravy on it?"

"Yeah," Lincoln said sheepishly.

"My favorite dessert!"

Both Lincoln and Lynn were surprised at that.

"Say, Lincoln? Big bro? Would you mind trading this ice cream cone for that banana?"

Lincoln just rolls his eyes. "Help yourself."

"Woo-hoo!"

And just like that, Lana began eating it. Even going as far as licking the plate. While both Lynn and Lincoln look on with disgust.


	62. One wild rope

**Based on the _Dragon Tales_ episode _Rope Trick_**

* * *

In the twins room, Lola was busy practicing with her skipping rope.

Meanwhile on the other side of the room, Lana was searching under her bed for something. "Where is it?"

Suddenly, a small RC race car made its way to Lana's side of the room and surprised her while she was searching.

She popped out from under the bed and landed on her butt. But then she noticed she was sitting on something bulky. So she reaches into one of her back pockets and pulls out a remote control. "Found it!"

"Found what?" Lola asked.

"The remote control. I just love my new race car."

"Well can you at least play with it somewhere else? I'm trying to practice my skipping rope!"

Lana thought for a minute. "I got a better idea. Why don't we both go outside so we can have more space? That way I can play with my race car and you can practice your skipping rope."

"That's….actually a good idea. So glad I thought of it."

Lana groaned. "Oh brother."

* * *

Outside in the backyard, the kids (minus Lucy) were minding their own business, when the twins came out through the door.

"Woo hoo!" Luna cheers. "The twins are in the house!"

"Or rather they're _out_ of the house," Luan laughs. "Get it?"

"Hi everyone," Lola waves.

"Hey Lincoln! Check this out!" Lana made the race car go by using the remote control. "I can even make it crash." Indeed, she made it crash into a tree.

"Pretty cool Lana," Lincoln said.

"I knew you'd think so."

"I see you brought your skipping rope Lola?" Lynn asked.

"Yep," Lola says. "And I even made up a rhyme of my own."

"Now this I gotta see," Luan observes.

Lola demonstrates. "My name is Lola, bring me a cola, my voice sounds as sweet as a viola. My last name is Loud, my family's a crowd, but is sometimes quiet like an angel on a cloud."

Everyone was impressed.

"That was awesome!" Luna praised.

"Oh boy," Luan said. "Luna and I used to love to jump rope."

"We do?"

"Sure we do. Why don't we show you?"

Luna got nervous. "Oh I would, but we don't have a long enough rope sis."

"I've got one here you can use," Lincoln offers.

Luna reluctantly took it. "Thank you bro."

"Aw quit your worrying Luna," Luan assures. "We'll do this together. We'll be so good at this, you won't believe it."

"Promise me Luan? No slip ups?"

"If there was, there'd be a banana peel. But seriously, I promise."

"Okay, now watch how I do it." Lola demonstrates again. "Turn the rope round and round, turn the rope, jump off the ground."

"Okay, here it goes." Luna and Luan attempted to jump the rope together, but it flew over their heads as they let go. "Uh oh."

The rope flew right through the window and into Lucy's bedroom where she was reading a book on her bed. As she saw the rope coming into her room, it knocked over a bottle that was on her nightstand.

"Oh no! My special mixture!"

The rope got covered in the liquid substance and started to glow.

The rest of the kids rushed into the room, and to their surprise, the rope came to life.

"The rope is standing up!" Leni exclaimed.

The rope made its way towards the kids.

"Get it!" Lana shouts.

As she tried to grab it, it bounced away like a spring.

"I got it!" Unfortunately, Lucy couldn't catch it either. "Dang it."

The rope bounces off a wall.

"Come here McBoing Boing!" Luan said.

But as she and Luna tried to catch it, it got away again.

"Let me try." Using her remote control, Lana used her race car to lure the rope into a trap.

And it seems to work. The rope became mesmerized by the race car as it ran in circles.

Unbeknownst to it, Lincoln and Lynn were getting ready to pounce on it.

"Hold it. Hold it….."

At the exact moment, the rope got close enough.

"Now!"

Both Lincoln and Lynn grabbed the rope on both ends and trapped it in Lucy's coffin.

"What the heck was that?" Lynn asked in disbelief.

"I think my special mixture made that rope come alive," Lucy answers.

"And what mixture would that be exactly?" Lisa wonders.

"I was trying to cast a spell that could bring Edwin to life. My spellbook includes a potion that is able to bring inanimate objects to life."

"Well do you have any _other_ special mixtures that can put the rope back the way it was?" Lincoln asked.

"I'm afraid not Lincoln. The spell doesn't work like that. The only way to get it back to normal is to catch it and jump over it three times in a row."

Lola scoffs. "I can jump three times. Easy."

Lana rolls her eyes. "Yeah, sure you can."

"There is one downside," Lucy explains. "Whoever spilled the special mixture has to do the jumping."

Luna and Luan look nervous. "I guess that would be us," the latter states.

"That's just great!" Luna sighs. "We both can't jump rope together. We're old and out of practice."

"You're not _that_ old Luna," Lincoln says.

"Well were both older than you anyway. But we're still out of practice. We don't even have a rope to practice with."

Lynn got an idea. "Wait a minute! Hold on!" Lynn searches under her bed and pulls out a rope of her own. "Here it is."

"You had that with you?" Lincoln questioned.

"Yep. It's my old work out rope. I don't use it that much so you guys can borrow it if you need to."

"Thanks Lynn," Luna said.

"Okay. Here's what we're gonna do," Lori instructed. "Lola, since you're a professional, you'll be Luna and Luan's skipping rope instructor."

"You got it big sis," Lola salutes.

Lucy turns to the other twin. "And Lana will have to stay with us to make sure that wild rope doesn't get out of hand."

Lana crosses her arms. "Lucy, name _one_ time I've ever let anything get out of hand."

"The sleep inducer, the bubble powder, the computer virus, the mold….." Lisa lists.

Lana got annoyed. "Okay, thank you Lisa."

"Good luck you guys," Lynn said to her older sisters. "You're gonna _need_ it."

* * *

After a few seconds, Lola was training Luna and Luan in the front yard.

"Now remember," she demonstrates. "Little jumps every time."

"Aw that's a cinch," Luan claimed. "We're gonna be champion jumpers." Both girls jump at the same time.

"That's great. Now just do the same thing with the rope."

"The rope?" Luan noticed the rope was still in her hand. "Oh right. The rope."

"Now just keep on turning and every time the rope lands in front of your feet, jump."

"No problem." The girls turned the rope, but Luna didn't lift her feet off the ground. "You didn't jump."

"I wasn't ready," Luna replies.

"It might help if you make the rope touch the ground," Lola insists.

"Lower? Got it."

"Ready Luna?"

"Ready Luan."

The girls tried again, but this time, they turned the rope too low. So low that it just layed in the dust.

"Uh…..sis?"

Luan sighs. "We forgot to jump."

* * *

Back in the middle girls' room, the rest of the kids were keeping an eye on the rope inside the coffin.

"I don't hear anything," Lincoln says.

"Maybe it's sleeping," Lana wonders.

"I guess even jump ropes need to loosen up," Leni states.

Lori groaned. "Great. As if having _Luan_ as a comedian wasn't bad enough."

Lynn pried open the coffin, and the rope immediately leaps out. It was trying to reach the RC car, but luckily, Lana was able to catch it.

"What if the rope does something _bad_ to my car?" Lana worries.

Luckily, Lincoln grabbed the RC and tossed it to Lisa, who then placed it in her infinite storage bag.

But then the rope made its way down the stairs towards the kitchen. The kids followed suit and noticed it started going into the fridge.

"No!" Leni screamed. "Not the fridge!"

* * *

Back outside, the girls attempted to try again.

"Okay, go!"

Luna and Luan turn the rope together, but they both jumped at completely different times.

"You jumped too late Luna."

"You jumped too _soon_!" Luna argues.

"I have an idea," Lola suggested. "Try saying this when you jump. Up, over, jump, jump. Up, over, jump, jump."

Luna rolls her eyes. "Oh sure, that'll help. Ready Luan?"

"You know me," Luan replies. "Ready Freddy!"

"Up, over…." However, the rope was going too fast. Luna started giving up. "Oh I can't do this!"

"But you just said you could."

"Not if _you_ turn the rope too _fast_. You didn't even follow the words."

"What's so important about following the words?"

"The words let you know when to jump," Lola instructed. "So it's easier."

"Easier? Oh I get it. Okay Luna, you lead, I'll follow." Luan then realized what words came out of her mouth. "Ugh! I can't believe I just said that!"

"Up, over, jump, jump!"

This time, the girls both made it.

"Alright!" Luan cheers. "We did it!"

"Uh Luan?" Luna stated. "The rope _stopped_."

"You have to keep turning the rope when you jump," Lola says. "And instead of one giant jump, remember, try two little jumps. Like this." Lola demonstrates herself. "See?"

"Okay, got it."

"Up, over, jump, jump!"

The girls succeeded once again, this time with the rope landing in front of their feet.

"Alright!" Luan cheers.

"That's the way I like it," Luna replies.

* * *

In the kitchen, the kids tried getting the rope out of the fridge. They succeeded, but then it tried to snatch the cookie jar.

"Oh no!" Lana shouts. "Not the cookies!"

Luckily, Lori was able to keep it out of its reach. But that doesn't stop the rope from bouncing out the front door.

"Uh oh," Lola said. "Company."

The kids began to follow.

"Don't worry. Just keep on practicing," Lincoln assures. "We'll catch the rope."

Lincoln, and a few of his sisters were chasing the rope all the way to the park, where it hung itself to a swing set.

"You're not going anywhere!" Lynn leaped into the air to grab it. "I got it!" But unfortunately, it fell out of her grip. "I don't got it."

Meanwhile, Lana was searching along the sidewalk. What she didn't know was that the rope was right behind her. It tapped her left shoulder, but when she turned around, she saw nothing. Then when it tapped her other shoulder, she still didn't see it. That is until it grabs the remote control from her back pocket.

Back with the others, her RC car pops out of Lisa's bag, but Lincoln grabs it just in time.

However, that didn't stop the rope.

Lana called, "Don't let it get my race car!"

"I'll save it Lana!" Lincoln said as he ran off with it.

* * *

Back with the girls, Lucy came by to check.

"How's it going?" She asked.

"Oh they're getting there," Lola answered.

"Okay," Luna said. "Here it goes."

"Up, over, jump, jump."

"up, over, jump, jump."

Unfortunately, during the last one, they slipped.

"Oh we almost had it."

"Keep trying," Lola encourages.

"Okay." Luna took a breath. "Little jumps, keep the rope low, keep turning it. Ready!"

"Up, over, jump, jump."

"Up, over, jump, jump."

"Up, over, jump, jump."

"That was three!" Lola cheers. "You did it!"

the two girls congratulated themselves as well as each other.

"Okay Mr. Rope," Luan answers. "We're ready for you."

* * *

Back at the park, the kids appeared to have lost the rope.

"Where could it possibly be?" Lisa wonders.

"Man," Lana said. "Even _I_ don't have this much trouble when I'm playing tag with Hops."

"This is literally worse than that time Leni got trapped in a bubble," Lori states. "That rope is setting us out on a wild goose chase."

"Wild goose?" Leni searched. "Where?"

But what they didn't know was that the rope was right under their feet, as it was hiding in the sandbox.

Suddenly it pops out surprising everyone. It then made its way into Lisa's sack.

"Get out of there! This is no place for you!" Lincoln attempted to pull it out. "Shoo! Shoo!"

The rope came out of the bag tied up to Lana's RC.

"Hey!" Lana got mad as she watched it run away. "Oh so _that's_ how you wanna play? Fine!" Lana took out her remote control. "Okay rope. Watch _this_!"

Lana made both the car and the rope come right back to her.

"Gotcha!"

Both Lynn and Lincoln grab the rope with both hands.

"That was some really smart thinking Lana," Lincoln says as he gave her back her car.

"I love this car," Lana said hugging her toy.

* * *

The kids all made it back to the house.

"I hope you're holding onto it extra tight," Lincoln says.

"You think we can do this sis?" Luna asked.

"I can if you can," Luan answers.

"We can make it if we try, and try we shall!"

"Okay, remember what I showed you!" Lola reminded.

However, the rope wouldn't stop moving.

"Ugh!" Luna groaned. "It keeps wiggling!"

"It'll be okay Luna!" Luan encourages. "Just hold on tight!"

"Right! Let's do this!"

"Up, over, jump, jump."

"1….."

"Up, over, jump, jump."

"2….."

"Up, over, jump, jump."

"3!"

And suddenly, the rope started glowing, and finally it became inanimate again.

All the kids celebrated in victory.

"Thanks for letting us borrow your jump rope Lynn," Luan said.

"And here's yours Lincoln," Luna offers. "Back to how it was before."

"Oh no!" Lincoln says. "I'm not going anywhere near _that_ thing. It's all yours."

"You sure bro?"

"Oh I'm sure. Consider it a hand-me-up. Besides, I'm sticking with yo-yos."

"Wow!" Luan praises. "Thanks Link. This is great. No me and Luna can do this everyday."

"We can?" Luna got worried. "Oh boy."

"Well now that that's settled, I'm gonna go get some cookies," Lola says as she goes inside.

* * *

Back in the twins room, Lola went back to practicing, as Lana went back to playing with her RC.

"I gotta hand it to you Lola," said Lana. "When it comes to skipping rope, you sure are a good mentor."

"Thanks," Lola smiles. "And I'll admit that your RC car came in pretty handy too."

"Yeah. Say, since you were able to train Luna and Luan, can _I_ give it a try?"

"Sure."

Lola hands her twin the rope. "Okay. Up, over…" then she got tangled up in the rope. "Oh no! Look out! It's a wild rope!" Lana then stumbled backwards into the closet.

"Looks more like _you_ fell into Lucy's special mixture sis."

The two girls began to laugh.


	63. Tonight’s the night

**And now here's a request from Momijifan Low-Ki, based on the _Regular Show_ episode _It's Time_**

 **Now if I have to be honest, I was a little unsure about whether or not to do this chapter, but considering that we're having another week of new _Loud House_ episodes, including the long anticipated _Racing Hearts_ and _Stage Plight_ , I've ultimately decided to go ahead with it anyway. Also, considering that I've introduced other characters into the fanfic, including Bobby and Ronnie Anne Santiago (as well as their extended family), I figured this would be a perfect opportunity to introduce Sam Sharp. **

**With all that said, please enjoy**

 **(But NO rude comments please)**

* * *

The story begins at the Royal Woods mall, where two of the Loud sisters Luna and Luan were sitting down to lunch. At the same time time, they were also watching a video on Luan's phone about an upcoming Rock n Roll musical comedy show.

Luna was stunned. "That looks awesome!"

"I'm glad you said that. Because look what I got!" Luan pulls out two tickets. "Two concert tickets for tonight!"

"Ooh, yeah. About that, I kinda already have two movie tickets for _Jr High School Sing-Along_."

"What? Why? That movie stinks! I saw the trailer. It's just a bunch of teenagers singing in school while talking about how much they love each other. And the songs stay stuck in your head."

"No sis. I got these tickets for me and Sam. I'm finally gonna try and ask her out."

"Aw what? Come on Luna! Do you know how hard it is for me to get these tickets?"

"Sis, it's just for one night."

"Wanna bet? You're just like Lori! ' _Oh, Bobby and I went to the movies, Bobby's house smells like gingerbread, ever noticed that Bobby's wardrobe is shaped like an adorable puppy?'_ I'm starting to think that the only reason we hang out with each other is to talk about soulmates!"

"Yeah, but—!"

"I miss you Luna! I miss when we would spend time together! Just the two of us! A couple of sisters! Why can't we ever just hang out and have some _sibling_ time?"

"What difference does that make? _You_ talk about Benny all the time!"

"Yeah, but _you_ talk about Sam _more_."

Speaking of which, the girl in question walked up to their table.

"Hey Luna," Sam greeted. "Who's your friend?"

"Oh hey Sam," Luna responded. "This is my sister Luan. You remember, you saw her at my house that one time?"

"Oh yeah. You're that _comedic_ sister, aren't you?"

"Yes Sam, I am," Luan laughed. "Get it?"

Sam gave her a chuckle.

Then Luna got cold feet. "Hey Sam, I was wondering if…...would you like to….you know…?"

"You're gonna have to excuse my sister," Luan jokes while holding a cup of coffee. "She's having a hard time trying to _espresso_ herself."

Sam started to laugh. "Good one Luan. I'll be right back." She left.

"Oh man! Did you see how hard Sam laughed at my joke?"

Luna didn't look happy. "That wasn't funny sis!"

"Sure it was. Geez, what's your problem?"

Sam came back with some food. "Here you go guys."

"Tater tots?" Luna asked. "Where's the ketchup?"

"Huh? Oh! I'm sorry! Let me fix that!"

"Everything okay Sam?" Luan asked. "You seem like you've got a _full plate_."

Sam laughs again. "Yeah. I'm just a little stressed out today. My manager just got a gig somewhere out of town scheduled for next week, and I'm supposed to help move the equipment."

"I could help you," Luna offers.

"Really? Thanks Luna!"

"I can help you move too," Luan intervenes.

"Oh perfect! Do you mind coming by my place in an hour?"

"Oh, we don't mind. It'll be a _moving_ experience for all of us."

"Oh Luan!" Sam laughs as she took off.

Once she left, Luna kicks Luan under the table.

"Ow! Hey! What was that for?"

"Nothing."

Luan noticed the expression on Luna's face. "Wait a minute. You're jealous!"

"What? No I'm not!"

"Sis, you're just jealous because I made her laugh and all you do is sit like this: uh…..uh…..uh…"

"Whatever. Just stay out of my way when I'm helping her move."

* * *

Later, as stated before, Luna and Luan were helping Sam load her boxes into the van.

"Alright guys. We're almost done."

Luna was still a little frustrated but determined. "Gotta do it! Just gotta do it!" She told herself.

Then she walks right up to her. "Hey Sam. I've been meaning to ask you. Do you want to…..have me…..pick up that box?" She asked pointing to one last box.

"Oh yeah thanks. This is the last one. Just be careful. It might be a little…"

She saw Luna struggling to carry the box.

"Heavy. Uh….do you need help with that?"

"It's cool. I got it."

"Hey Sam. Which do you prefer? Briefs or _boxers_?" Luan pulls up the box she was standing in, causing her legs to rip through them.

Sam laughs again. "You're so funny Luan."

Unfortunately, Luna grew more and more irritated.

"Well I'm gonna go talk to the manager. I'll be right back," Sam replies as she left.

Luna was still unhappy. "Hey! Luan! You better leave sis! You're ruining my chances with Sam!"

"No I haven't. You haven't even made a _move_ on her yet." Luan laughed at that unintentional pun. "Get it? But seriously. You're just gonna end up going to that show with me anyway."

"No I'm not. Just quit screwing this up for me."

"You're just jealous because I can make people laugh and you can't."

Luna then saw Sam approaching.

"So you gonna ask her or what?"

"Hey guys," Sam greeted. "Ready to call it a day?"

Luna got nervous again. "Sam! Just wanted to ask you if you'd like to…...uh…... I mean obviously you don't have to but uh….."

Luan then stepped in. "Hey Sam! Wanna see something cool?" Luan pulls out the tickets from before. "Boom! Two tickets to the Royal Woods Rock n roll musical comedy show premiere! Wanna go with me?"

Sam was surprised. "You actually got tickets? Yeah! I'll _totally_ go with you tonight! Luna, you gotta come too!"

"Luna _can't_ come because I've only got _two_ tickets."

"Aw, I'm sorry. Maybe next time?"

Luna got distressed. "No. No it's cool. You guys have a good time."

"Oh. Okay. I'll see you at 8 Luan."

With that, Sam got into the van and drove off.

"Alright fine! You win! I'll go to the show with you! Just call it off with her!"

Luan scoffs. "Yeah right. I'm not going with you. You had your chance and you blew it. Like wind through a saxophone."

"Come on sis! Just give me another chance!"

"Okay, I'll give you another chance if you admit that you're jealous."

"No! I'm not jealous!"

"Then I guess i'm still going without you. Ha! You blew it again! You blew it again!"

* * *

Back at the Loud house, Luan was searching on the computer. "Hey Luna. Check this out."

"What?"

"Look at this _Junior High School Sing Along_ score on _Rotten Cucumbers._ A negative 3%? It might as well belong in a dynamite factory because that film is _bombing_! Three more hours till tonight!"

* * *

Later, Luna, Luan and Lynn were in the kitchen.

"Hey sis," Luna requests. "Hook me up with some pudding?"

"Oh sure." Luan handed her a chocolate pudding cup. "I was gonna use it to prank you by filling it in your boots again, but I guess I don't need to since you already have _cold_ feet!"

"Oh she got you good Lulu!" Lynn taunted.

"Two more hours till tonight!"

Once again, Luna was annoyed.

* * *

Another hour later, Lucy was watching a _Twilight_ movie.

Luna and Luan were watching from the stairs.

"You know what's similar with you and those vampires. You want to be with Sam like they want to be with humans. But _neither_ of you can make things work."

Luna growls.

"Only one more hour till tonight!"

* * *

Finally, it was close too 8. Luna was on the couch watching static on the television.

Luan arrived. "Hey there high school musician. Whatcha doing? Watching television all by yourself? Doesn't surprise me since you don't got no backbone."

"I'm warning sis! You better call Sam and cancel!"

"I can't cancel. That's being rude. It's not wise to be rude to girls. Besides, I've only got 20 minutes left."

"Are you _sure_ it's only 20 minutes left?" Luna said with a sneaky smile.

"Huh?" Luan checks her watch, but it seems to be stopped. Then in the back of it, she saw that the battery was missing. "What did you do with my battery?!"

Luna had the battery in her hand. "It could be 20 minutes left. Or maybe it's half an hour. Or maybe you're already too late!"

"Whatever. I'll find out what time it is."

Luan ran all over the house to find a clock, but with everyone she found, Luna took it away. From cuckoo clocks, to alarm clocks, to wristwatches, to even the clocks on the phones. The last remaining clock was the one on the oven in the kitchen. But Luna covered that one too.

"Call it off with her!" She ordered.

"You're jealous Luna! It's all over your face!"

"MY FACE ISN'T JEALOUS!" Luna threw all the clocks into the oven.

"Sis, what are you doing? You can't do that."

"Can't do what? This?" Luna turns on the oven and the clocks began melting and disintegrating. "Now you'll _never_ be on time for the show!"

Luan leaped over her shoulder. "Give me back those clocks!"

The two sisters began to fight with each other, until Luna bumped into the oven causing it to spark. The two girls then teleported away.

* * *

The two of them found themselves flying through a vortex while hanging onto the stove.

"What's your problem?" Luan asked. "Why do you have to be jealous so much?"

"Shut it! This is all your fault!" Luna accuses. "I finally got a chance to ask out Sam, but you had to but in and steal her from me!"

"I wasn't _trying_ to steal her from you! I just wanted to have a good time with my sister, who ended up ditching me for some girl who doesn't even know she exists!"

"YOU'RE GONNA GET IT!"

Luna pushes Luan over the side, as her body began disappearing into dust. Luna immediately feels regret.

"LUAN! No! That's not what I meant! That's not what I meant! Go back! Go back! Go back!"

Luna kept pressing buttons on the oven, but it was too late.

Suddenly, she found herself all alone in an empty void.

"Hello?"

Unfortunately, she found no one. But she did find herself bumping into things she wasn't able to see, making them fall and shatter.

"Hey! Who's screwing around up there!?" A bunch of different clocks then flew from nowhere and came together forming the shape of a man made of clocks. "Oh it's _you_!"

"Who are you?" Luna asked.

"I am Father Time. And _you're_ the one who's been running around microwaving all my clocks."

"I didn't mean to."

 _"'I didn't mean to.'_ You've wasted my time, your time, and you _really_ wasted the time of your sister. She's gone."

"I know! I'm sorry! Can you bring her back?"

"I'm afraid not. Her body has disappeared to another realm, from which there is no return. And now you must spend the rest of eternity here until the end of time. All because of your petty jealousy."

"I'm not jealous."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not!"

"Silence! Gaze into the hourglass." The clocks pull back revealing a giant hourglass.

"What is that?"

As Luna watched the sand fall, all her memories of her being jealous were coming back. She then felt very ashamed of how she acted.

"It's true. I _am_ jealous of Luan. And even though she's annoying, she's still my sister. You're right Father Time. I _deserve_ to be trapped here."

"Look, I'll be honest Luna. Siblings can annoy me too. I mean taking your stuff without permission, making them do things you don't wanna do, getting on your nerves. I mean, just look what you did to my living room."

Luna looks behind her, but couldn't really see anything since it was all invisible. "Oh, sorry."

"Yeah, you better be. But if I know one thing, you gotta make time for your family as much as your friends. Because one day, they might not be around and you would have missed those moments. Tell you what I'm gonna do. Since I'm a nice guy, I'll give you a do-over, just this once."

"Really? Thanks so much!"

"But remember, stop bottling up your emotions, because if I ever catch you here again, you'll be sorry. Now get on the time scooter."

"Time scooter?"

"Oh come on. It's right next to you." Luna found it and got on board. "That's how you ride a time scooter?"

"What?"

"Whatever. Now get out of my dimension."

The scooter went in reverse, going faster and faster dragging Luna into a time portal.

* * *

Suddenly, Luna found herself back to the same place she was before everything had happened.

"Luan! You're here!"

"Shhh!" Luan hushed. "I'm trying to watch this."

The two Loud sisters Luna and Luan resumed watching a video on Luan's phone about an upcoming Rock n Roll musical comedy show, just like at the beginning.

Luna was stunned. "That looks awesome!"

"I'm glad you said that. Because look what I got!" Luan pulls out two tickets. "Two concert tickets for tonight! Wanna go with me?"

"Yes. Yes I do."

Luan smiles.

Exactly like last time, Sam walked up to their table.

"Hey Luna," Sam greeted. "Who's your friend?"

"Oh hey Sam," Luna responded. "This is my sister Luan. You remember, you saw her at my house that one time?"

"Oh yeah. You're that _comedic_ sister, aren't you?"

"Yes Sam, I am," Luan laughed. "Get it?"

Sam gave her a chuckle.

Then Luna held up a coffee cup. "Hey Sam, looks like you've got a _latte_ on your plate." Unfortunately though, her joke was less than a success.

"You're gonna have to excuse my sister," Luan jokes while holding a cup of coffee. "She's having a hard time trying to _espresso_ herself."

Sam started to laugh. "Good one Luan. I'll be right back." She left.

"Oh man! Did you see how hard Sam laughed at my joke?"

Luna started looking jealous again.

"Wait a minute. You're jealous! Admit it!"

"Sis, I'm not….!" But then she remembered. "Well, maybe just a _little_ bit."


	64. Future Fright

**And now it's time for a new story**

 **Now looking back at the previous stories I've done, I've realized that quite a majority of them are parodies of _Regular Show_ episodes. While I do like that show, I felt that it was time for a change. So I decided to mix things up a little and explore other ideas. Of course, I might still be doing a few more _Regular Show_ parodies, but I wanna give this fanfic more variety to make it more interesting.**

 **So for this story, I've decided to do _My Life as a Teenage Robot_. Now this won't be a crossover like I've done in a previous chapter. Rather this will be a parody of one of the episodes. For this one, I decided to go with the episode _Future Shock_. If anyone has ever seen the episode or the show itself, prepare to feel nostalgic.**

* * *

On this particular morning, Lynn Loud Junior was in her room on her bed talking on the phone.

"Uh Huh! Uh huh! Uh huh!" Then her smile faded away. "Uh huh? Uh huh…...thanks anyway." She hung up and laid flat on her bed.

Then the twins Lola and Lana came into the scene.

"What up Lynn?" Lana asked.

"I'm trying to find a date for the movie tonight."

"What movie?"

" _Bone Crushing, Alien Monsters LTD_!"

This made the twins shriek with fear.

"I know right? It's so scary, they're not letting you in unless you have a date."

"Someone to call the morgue if you die from fright?" Lola asked.

"Exactly! But every dateable guy is already taken. I even called Francisco, but he said he had plans."

"Oh." Lana shrugs. "Well I'm sure it won't be _that_ bad."

"Not that bad! All the other girls have dates! Leni's going with Chaz, Lori's going with Bobby (obviously), Luna's got Sam, Luan's got Benny. Heck, even Lucy's going with Rocky!"

"I think you might be overreacting Lynn."

The girls turned around to see their brother Lincoln standing in the doorway.

Lynn scoffed. "Easy for _you_ to say bro. Any girl would settle for you."

Lincoln looks surprised (and not in a good way). " _Settle_? What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Come on Lincoln, don't take it that way! I just meant—!"

"Meant what? Lincoln's not dateable? Lincoln's a loser? Lincoln couldn't get a date to save his life even if he were rich, handsome, and the last man on planet earth?"

"I just meant someone could go with you if they couldn't find anyone else."

"Don't you mean someone _better_?"

"It's not that! It's just—!"

"Gee, you must be pretty desperate."

Then Lynn got offended. "Oh look who's talking! I seem to remember that Christina dumped you because she thought you were a weirdo!"

"Hey! I gave up on her!"

"Was that before or after she saw that embarrassing video of you kissing Lucy's bust with a picture of her on it?!"

Lola and Lana were listening to the entire argument. Lola took out her notepad and wrote something down. "Juicy!"

"Well at least I _have_ guts to talk to girls!" Lincoln barks back.

"Only because you live with us!" Lynn argues.

"Whatever! Anyway, who says _I'd_ settle for anyone? I already _have_ a date!"

The girls were shocked at what they heard. But Lynn didn't buy it. "Really? Who is it?"

"That's for _me_ to know, and for you to never find out! That is unless _you_ find a date, which I doubt!" Lincoln laughs as he left the room.

"I demand to know the name of your date!" Lynn shouts.

"Over my dead body!"

"Don't give me any ideas!"

Lincoln went into his room and shut the door. Lynn storms out of her room, leaving the twins in there.

"Is she having adolescence?" Lana questioned.

* * *

Lynn marches downstairs to the dining room table over to her seat angrily with a protein shake in her hand.

Lisa, whom was sitting right next to her, took note of her attitude. "Something troubling you Lynn?"

"I can't find a date for the movie! But somehow Lincoln found one! And now he's keeping the whole thing a secret!" Lynn crushed the can with her bare hand. "I wish there was some way I could find out who he's taking to the movie!"

"Sounds like a job for my future visor," Lisa said to herself.

Lynn was surprised by what she just heard. "Future visor? What's that?"

Lisa turns her face away. "Never mind! There's no such thing! And even if there was, you're not to go near it! Besides, I have it under high-tech security."

Lynn then got a sneaky idea. "So, this high-tech security wouldn't happen to be in that secret vault downstairs in the basement, would it?"

"Why yes it would actually." However, what Lisa didn't notice was that's what Lynn wanted to hear, as she had immediately ran off. "Silly girl."

* * *

Meanwhile, Lincoln was in his room talking on the phone.

"Hi. I know you don't know me, but will you be my date for the…...hello?"

The caller immediately hung up and Lincoln was back to looking over the phone book.

"Oh who am I kidding? If I can't find a date, Lynn's never gonna let me hear the end of it."

Lincoln pounded his fist to the desk, causing something to fall from the shelf. It was Luan's old hand-me-down ventriloquist dummy Colonel Crackers, which gave Lincoln an idea.

* * *

Downstairs in the basement, Lynn took her flashlight and found the secret vault.

"Bingo."

Just then, two small figures popped out of nowhere.

"HEY LYNN!"

Lynn was taken by surprise. But when she pointed the light out in front of her, the two figures appeared to be the twins Lola and Lana.

"Whatcha doing down here?" Lana asked.

"Guys! I'm on a top secret mission!" Lynn states. "One that'll take all my skill and cunning to accomplish."

"Uh huh," Lola confronts. "And just _what_ might that be?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but if you must know, I'm looking for Lisa's future visor so I can see who Lincoln's going to the movie with."

Lola scoffs. "Future vision? Who does Lisa think she is? Garnet?"

Lana lowers her eyelids. "Lola, I think you've been watching too much _Steven Universe._ "

"Hey! _You_ watch that show too! You cosplay as Amethyst!"

"So what? Amethyst is cool!"

Lynn groaned. "I don't have time for this."

Lynn took out a stethoscope and attempted to find the combination, but ultimately just decided to punch it (literally). The lock broke off and the vault opened up.

"Well what are we waiting for?" Lola and Lana attempted to run inside, but Lynn stopped them.

"Not so fast half pints. This is a job for big girls only."

"Aw," Lana whined. "No fair! I can be a big girl!"

"After what happened last time?" Lola confirms. "Yeah right."

"Hey! I said I was sorry! Get over it!"

Lynn just flat out shoved them out of the vault. "If _this_ is Lisa's idea of high tech security, I think she's losing her touch."

However, Lynn happens to trigger an alarm with her foot. Suddenly, a bunch of missiles came flying towards her, but she didn't flinch. Instead, she charges right up to them and did kicks and backflips in order to take them out.

"Ha! I didn't spend 6 years practicing 4 different martial art fighting styles for nothing!"

Then she spotted an air duct way up on the ceiling. She leaped onto the walls in order to reach it.

"Yeah, apparently I also took a few parkour classes. Totally worth it."

Thankfully, she made it and began crawling through the vents.

"Huh, these things are pretty spacious. No wonder Lucy hides in these things so much."

But what she didn't realize was that one vent was going directly down. She fell and landed into the main part of the vault.

Inside, Lynn saw multiple inventions and gadgets. One thing she was surprised to see was that the twins were already down there looking through the future visor.

"Oh hey Lynn," Lana greeted. "What's up?"

"What?! How?! How did _you_ two get in here?!"

"We went around through the side door," Lola answered.

"Yep," Lana confirms. "Just checking out the distant future." She said as she looked through the visor again. "Wow! Talking eggs rule a planet. Who'd have thunk it?"

Lynn just snatched the visor out of her hands. "Gimme that! I've got important research to conduct." Lynn sets the time to later that night. She looks through the visor and was surprised by what she was seeing. "What's that? Oh my! It can't be!"

"Well don't be selfish!" Lola griped. "Let me see!" Lola too the visor and she too was shocked. "What the heck? I can't believe this!"

"What?" Lana asked confused. "What is it?"

Both Lynn and Lola started laughing as they left.

"Oh man!" Lynn guffaws. "I can't wait to see see this!"

"I know!" Lola agrees. "Linky's never gonna live this down!"

Lana was still confused. "What's so funny?" Seeing as how she was alone, she decided to take a look for herself.

What she saw was a broken down movie theater with drinks and popcorn everywhere. She also saw what appears to be a headless body, and far from it appeared to be Lincoln's head, with its eyes closed and his tongue sticking out. Right next to him we're Lynn and Lola with red stains on their hands laughing hysterically.

Lana was surprised, but not in a good way. She was so horrified by what she just witnessed, that she screamed. "It's Lincoln! I mean Lincoln's head! I mean I have to stop the future, or we're gonna be minus a brother!"

Lana dashed out of the vault and headed upstairs to the hallway where she spotted Lincoln in the bathroom with a towel around his waist, attempting to pluck a hair off his eyebrow.

"Noooooo!"

She ran towards the bathroom and leaped into the air and slapped the tweezers right out of his hand before dismounting onto the toilet seat.

Lincoln felt shocked. "Lana! What are you doing here? Don't you know it's not polite to barge into the bathroom while you're brother is in here?"

"Well don't you know that tweezers are dangerous?" Lana barked back. "You could pluck a hair, and then your hand slips and….." she then made a cutting motion with her hand across her neck.

Lincoln wasn't the least bit amused. "You're in one of your moods again, aren't you?" Lincoln took a look in the mirror and noticed his turkey tail had grown a bit. "Hmm. Better trim. Don't wanna look like a hippie."

Lincoln looks into the medicine cabinet and took out a small pair of scissors. This made Lana even more scared. Lincoln was about to trim off the excess hair, only to find that it was replaced by a rubber ducky. He then saw Lana was attempting to drop the scissors out the window.

"Lana, no one is gonna get hurt from a pair of safety scissors."

"Not _now_ they won't." Lana dropped them out of the window, only for them to actually hurt somebody (just a little).

"Ow! My foot!"

Lincoln then took out some mouthwash, only for Lana to snatch it and place it into a plastic bag. "Probably laced with hydrochloric acid. I'll have Lisa analyze it and give it right back to….. you." She then realized Lincoln wasn't in the bathroom anymore.

Lana found Lincoln in his bedroom trying to put his shoes on. Lana took one of his sneakers and pretended to shake them out. "Just checking for scorpions."

Finally, Lincoln tried to put his wallet into his back pocket, but Lana ended up taking that as well, locking it up in a titanium box all tied up with chains.

"There. Don't want you getting any paper cuts from your money. You could be buying candy, pull out a five and then the air conditioner blows it into the air and then off pops your head like a grape. There'll be no livin la vida loca tonight. You're staying home where I can keep an eye on you."

Just then, they heard a knock at the door. Lana opens it, revealing it to be Luna. "Yo Lans. Please don't steal my thunder, okay?" Luna said as she left.

"Sorry Luna."

Lincoln then looked sternly at his little sister. "Okay Lana. I know what's going on here."

"You do?"

"It's obvious. The tweezers, the scissors, the mouthwash, my shoes, my wallet. You're just trying to stall me so I can't go on my date."

"Well yes. But that's because…."

"You're just worried about me not spending any time with you. Sis, come here." Lincoln places Lana on the bed as she took out a rope behind her back. But her brother didn't seem to notice. "Look, I know relationships may seem a bit icky to you, but there'll come a time when you'll grow out of it. You gotta open your eyes a little. I'm basically 11 now. Which makes me a man. And as a man, I have a right to live my life the way I want. Which means that I do things independently."

"Could you move your leg a little?"

"Oh sure. But I promise you that no matter what, even if I do end up dating someone consistently, I'll always make time for you girls. Okay Lana?"

No answer.

"Lana?" As Lincoln would have probably guessed, Lana hogtied him while he was talking and then ran off. "LANA!"

Then Lynn and Lola came into the room.

"What do _you_ two want?" Lincoln asked unamused.

"Oh nothing," Lynn shrugged. "I just came in here to apologize. I didn't mean those things I said. I'm happy for you and your ' _date_ '."

"Yeah, what she said," Lola agrees. "And we certainly wouldn't want you to miss the movie." Lola untied her brother as he dusted himself off.

However, Lincoln was still a little miffed. "Well I guess if you're _really_ sorry, why don't you both go distract Lana while I finish getting ready."

Lynn shook his hand. "You got it little bro."

Lincoln dashes out while the girls were still in his room. They both snicker to each other.

* * *

Meanwhile, Lana was downstairs figuring out what to do next.

"Okay, so far so good." She looked under her cap to see her pet frog. "Alright Hops. Now all we gotta do is hide Dad's car keys."

Hops gave her a thumbs up. Just then, Lynn came down the stairs and confronted her.

"Oh Lynn! Hello."

"Lana! Hey."

" _Somehow Lynn and Lola are tied up in Lincoln's future death_ ," Lana thought to herself. " _I can't let them know what I'm up to."_

Lynn started thinking to herself. _"I can't let Lana stop Lincoln's date. I've gotta keep an eye on her."_ She then leans down to her younger sister. "So Lans. Where you headed?"

Lana starts walking towards the front door. "Oh…..uh…. I was just going for a walk. So I guess I'll see you later."

Lynn started to follow her. "A walk huh? Beautiful day. Think I'll join you."

Lana turns in the other direction. "On second thought, my feet hurt. I think I'm gonna go play in the backyard."

Lynn ended up following her again. "A little backyard playtime? Count me in."

At this point, it felt like there was no way Lana could get away from Lynn. That is, she had one more idea in mind. She lifted her arm and sniffed her armpit. "Ewwww stinky! I'd better go take a bath."

"You _hate_ taking baths," Lynn said unamused.

"Yeah well…..there's a first time for everything." Lana dashes up the stairs, into the bathroom and shut the door. But little did she know, her twin Lola was already in there waiting for her.

"Scrub your back?"

"Dang it."

The twins then heard a noise coming from outside. Lana peaks out the window and saw Lincoln riding with Lori in Vanzilla.

Lana immediately ran out of the house. "Lincoln! Don't go! You don't understand! You're in grave danger!"

Lynn appears behind her. "Don't worry Lana. Tonight will be _great_. At least for _me_."

"You stay away from my brother! I saw the future! And I'm prepared to use force if necessary to stop you!"

"Lana? What are you…"

Lana attempts to fight her big sister, but Lynn barely moved an inch no matter how hard she tried.

"Are you done yet?"

Indeed, Lana got tired and gave up. "Truce?"

"Sure thing. Put her there sis." Lynn reaches for Lana's hand, but ends up getting zapped, making her disoriented and dizzy before collapsing on the ground.

Lana picks herself up. "Ha-ha! Victory is mine!" As it turns out, the shock from Lana's hand came from a joy buzzer. "Thank you Luan! Now that Lynn's out of the picture, there's a chance I can save Lincoln from the future."

With that, Lana ran off leaving her big sister alone.

* * *

Suddenly, Lynn felt a really foul stench hitting her nostrils. The scent was so putrid, she immediately woke and saw Lola holding a sock.

"Is that one of my gym socks?" Lynn asked.

"Actually it's Lana's," Lola answered. "She never washes her feet so the sock works as an ammonia capsule. Same thing with her shoes by the way."

That made Lynn gag even more. "Oh for the love of basketball, that's foul! How long was I asleep?"

"About two hours."

"What?! What time is it! We gotta go! Can't miss my chance to meet Lincoln's date!"

"I was thinking the same thing. Hop in my car."

* * *

Over at the movie theater, Lincoln hopped out of the van with his sister who had went on her own date.

"Okay Lincoln," Lori says. "I'll come meet you in the lobby once the movie's over."

"Thanks Lori." Lincoln walks up to the concession stand. "Two tickets please. That's one for me and one for my date."

However his so-called date was a mannequin. The man in the stand was less than amused. But he handed over two tickets anyway.

"Thank you. Oh what's that sweetheart? Are bone-crushing aliens real?" Lincoln pretends to laugh. "Oh my date. She's a little nervous."

But then, Lincoln found himself being shoved in line by those behind him. So he moved on.

But what he didn't know was that Lana was sneaking in from a nearby bush. And what she didn't know was that Lynn and Lola had arrived in Lola's car as well.

* * *

Inside, Lincoln was able to find a seat. "We made it. And the bone-crushing's hardly begun."

He also noticed that people were staring.

"So do you like horror movies?"

" _Oh yes,"_ Lincoln says operating the mannequin like a puppet. " _I'm a huge fan."_

"So how about a kiss?"

" _Sorry, I don't kiss on the first date."_

Lincoln gave a sigh.

Lana peaks from behind a nearby chair. "Good! Everybody's head is still on their shoulders."

She then gasped as she spotted her two sisters sneaking by.

"Don't they know they're in terrible danger? It's up to me to save them!"

Lana lifted her cap. Hops came out and shot out his tongue and grabbed both a bottle of ketchup and hot sauce from the concession stand.

Back with Lincoln, he was still watching the movie with his so-called date.

"You know if you get too scared, I can put my arm around you."

"' _Get your hands off me!'_ " Said his ' _date_ '.

Even with Lincoln's ventriloquist skills, he still couldn't get a date to save his life. "You know it's a long walk home."

But just as his two sisters were about to expose this…..

"That's far enough monsters!" Lynn and Lola saw Lana standing on top of a chair. "I see you woken up from your little nap!"

"Lana!"

"This will knock you out permanently!"

Lana squirted the two condiments right into her sisters' faces. Then she leaped into the air and began wrestling them to the ground.

Lincoln started witnessing everything. "Lola? Lynn? Lana?"

The other movie goers started getting scared and ran off. Then one of the pillars came down and bounced Lincoln out of his seat, flinging him in the air. Once he came down, his body fell into a hole in the floor, with his head being too big to fit. When the mannequin came down, the head popped off.

Lynn knocks Lana off of her as she fell to the ground and witnessed everything she saw before.

"Oh no." Lana ran up to her brother. "I was a fool. No one girl, no matter how courageous, can change the course of history. Confound you destiny!"

Just then, she heard both of her sisters laughing hysterically, which made her mad.

"YOU MONSTERS!"

Once again, Lana attempted to fight her older sister, but again, Lynn didn't budge.

Then Lincoln woke up. "Lana? Lana!" But his sister didn't listen. "Lana!"

Lana then turned to her brother.

"What are you doing here?"

The young tomboy was surprised. "He's alive! My disembodied brother is alive! Alive! Oh my gosh! We gotta get you to the hospital!"

"Lana!" Lana pulls Lincoln out of the whole to reveal that Lincoln still has his head on his body. "Lana! I'm fine!"

"Yeah Lana," Lynn approaches. "Lincoln's not hurt."

Lola held up a headless mannequin. "But his date's not feeling too good."

Lana was confused. "But I don't understand! On the future visor I saw the future! And you were there! But not your body! And you were laughing and…. I thought you were gonna…..you know."

"Come on Lans, those were just empty threats," Lola assures. "You didn't think I'd really mean to kill my brother, did you? A few broken bones maybe, but death? That's too extreme even for my standards."

"But...I…..I…..I…." Lana then gave up. "Oh well. I'm just glad no one actually got hurt." She then spotted a doll head lying on the floor. "SOMEBODY CALL A DOCTOR!" She then felt dizzy and fainted.

"Eh, she'll be fine," Lola shrugged.

"So, wanna grab a flippy?" Lynn offers.

"Sure," Lincoln accepts.


	65. Lola for a Day

**A guest request. Based on the _Rugrats_ episode _Angelica for a Day_**

 **Enjoy**

* * *

It was just like any other day in Royal Woods. The Loud kids were all at the park while their parents watched.

The parents noticed that there was another little girl with her father.

"I don't care!" She screamed. "I want ice cream and I want it _now_!"

The father left dragging his feet.

"Wouldn't wanna be in _that_ guy's shoes," Lynn Sr. chuckles.

Leni, who overheard the expression, was confused. "Hey Lori, how come Dad doesn't like that other dad's shoes?"

"Leni, that's just an expression," Lori answers.

"Indeed," Lisa explains. "It's clearly a metaphor meaning that a said individual does not wish to participate in a manner of which another individual is participating in."

Leni looks with confusion.

"She means that someone doesn't want to be like someone else," Lori simplifies.

"Oh," Leni got it. "You mean like how Lana doesn't wanna be like Lola because she said she's too clean and bossy?"

"Hey!" Lola was with Lana in the sandbox while Lincoln watched. "I can hear you!"

"And yes, that's why," Lana answered.

"What?!"

"You have too many rules at your tea parties."

"There wouldn't be so many if you would just act civilized once in a while!"

Lana began mocking her. "Bossy, bossy, bossy, bossy, bossy, bossy, bossy, bossy, bossy boots! Ugh!"

Lola scoffs. "Whatever. If you philistines are done with your infantile games, I'm gonna go find something else to do." She then left the sandbox.

"I'm bored too," Lana said. "Come on Lincoln. I wanna go try that new rock climbing."

"I don't know Lana," Lincoln says. "Rock climbing isn't exactly my thing."

"Geez. You sound just like Lola. A wimp that never wants to have any fun."

"You're the one who said Lola was too bossy."

"Lola's also the one who told me I'd float away to the moon unless I put sand in my pockets. Now come on!"

Lana starts leaving.

As soon as she was out of sight, Lincoln emptied the sand out of his pockets and followed her.

* * *

Both kids walked up to a big rock climbing wall. So big that it almost touched the sky.

"Behold it's majesty!" Lana admires. "Come on Lincoln!" Lana ran up to the wall, but Lincoln got too nervous and stayed behind. "Lincoln?"

"Uh….well….. I…..uh…." Lincoln tried thinking of a way to get out of the situation. Then he spotted something that was sure to get his sister's attention. "Hey Lana. Look. There's a really neat mud puddle over there. Tell you what, I'll help you make some mud pies and then we can play on that rock climbing wall tomorrow…..or never."

"But!" Then Lana gave up. "Oh okay."

"Too bad Lana," Lola said. "If your big brother was more _braver_ like _me_ , maybe you'd have a funner time." Then she walked away laughing.

"Sorry Lana," Lincoln apologized.

Lana just shrugged it off. "Aw that's okay Lincoln. I'll get some sticks and you get some grass, and we'll make the best mud pies ever!"

"Okay."

Later, Lincoln was picking some grass when two big figures came up to him.

"Hey!" Hank shouts. "What do you think you're doing?"

Lincoln was terrified. "Oh nothing. Just getting some grass for my sister."

"Oh yeah? Well this is _our_ grass! So just get off it!"

"Oh. Okay. Listen I don't want any trouble. Sorry for walking on your grass." Lincoln put the grass back on the ground and walked away.

"What's the matter big bro?" Lana asked.

"Nothing. I just didn't realize that this grass belongs to those two bullies."

"It does not! The grass belongs to everyone!"

"I know that. I just don't want them to beat me to a pulp."

Lana slaps her forehead. "See?! That's the problem with you! You can't just be afraid of everything all the time! Come with me!"

Lana took her brother's arm and dragged him forward. But they were immediately stopped by their oldest sister Lori.

"Come on guys," she said. "It's time to go."

Lincoln sighed with relief. "Just in the nick of time."

* * *

Back at the Loud house, Lana was pouting on her bed with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face.

Lynn came by her door. "Hey Lans."

"Oh hey Lynn," Lana grumbled.

"Why you looking so down in the dumps?" Lana said nothing. "No response huh? Guess you're good." She was about to leave when…..

"I'm fed up Lynn!"

"Say what now?"

"It's Lincoln. I thought having a big brother would be great, but he's too much of a wuss. He _never_ wants to do things I like."

"Welcome to _my_ world. He's not exactly into sports like me either."

"What am I supposed to do?"

"I don't think there's anything you can do. You are what you are, and Lincoln is what he is. I don't think there's anything you can do to change him. Well anyway, see ya." Lynn left for her room.

While she was alone, Lana thought to herself. "I wish there was a way I could change Lincoln. Maybe I could….Nah he'd never go for that. UGH! This is just so frustrating."

Just then, she heard a loud noise coming from across the hallway. As she would have guessed, the sound came from Lisa's room.

"At last! My greatest invention is complete! The personality swap-o-matic. This little marvel can alter the personality of anyone who gets zapped with it."

Lana thought for a minute. If she could swap Lincoln's personality with Lola's, she could finally have a brother that's not afraid to get pummeled. " _If your big brother was more braver like me, maybe you'd have a funner time."_

But the more she thought that, the more she thought that Lincoln would just flat out say no. "Maybe I'll just sleep on it."

* * *

So Lana went back to her room and fell asleep on her bed.

After her nap, she made her way over to her brother's room, in which the person in question was waking up from his nap.

"Oh hey Lana," Lincoln greeted. "Whatcha up to?"

"Put your day clothes on big brother. We're going back to the park."

"I don't know Lana. Remember what happened last time?"

"I know. You were _scared_ last time. But this time, you _won't_ be."

"I won't? Why not?"

"Wait right here!" Lana ran out of the room and then came back in a split second with a blaster in her arms.

"What's that?"

"It's Lisa's personality swapper."

"And _why_ might I ask do you have that with you?"

"Easy. I'm gonna swap your personality with Lola's. If I give you Lola's personality, you'll become brave like her. And you won't be so afraid anymore."

"I don't think that's such a good idea Lana. Remember last time when you started acting just like Lola?"

"I was _hypnotized_ last time. This is totally different."

"Even so, if we borrow Lisa's invention, the only thing that's gonna happen is that she's gonna get really, really mad!"

"But you won't be scared to face her, because you'll be just like Lola!"

"I don't know Lana."

"Let's just try it."

"Oh alright. If it'll make you happy, then let's give it a try."

Using the blaster, Lana scanned her twin Lola while she was sleeping, loading her personality into the machine. Lana then aimed it at her brother and zapped him. After feeling dizzy, Lincoln got back on his feet.

"Well? How do you feel?" Lana asked.

"I don't know," Lincoln answers. "How am I supposed to feel?"

"Like you wanna be mean to someone?"

"Uh….no."

"Maybe this thing needs fixing."

"And just who's gonna fix it Lana?" Lincoln said rather maladjusted. "A dirty little grease monkey like you?!"

"It worked Lincoln! You're being just like Lola!"

"Really?"

"You want to go try that rock climbing again?"

"Yeah! I do!"

* * *

The kids all went back to the park. Lana and Lincoln went back to the rock climbing wall. Surprisingly enough, Lincoln made it to the top before Lana did.

"It worked Lincoln!" Lana cheers. "You climbed to the top!"

"Of course I climbed to the top!" Lincoln said. "What's the big deal? Anyone can climb to the top except for little scaredy-cats."

Lana felt a little hurt by those words.

Then they both saw Lola at the bottom waiting for them. "Well, well, well. Gotta say Linky, I didn't think you had it in you."

Lincoln climbs down to confront her. "Well then maybe you need to start giving me more credit philistine."

Lola was shocked. "What did you call me?"

"You know what I said! And so what if I did?"

"That's my word for calling you! Take it back!"

"Make me!"

"If you don't take it back, I'll….."

"You'll what? You've already threatened me many times before! Go ahead and try me!"

Lola was at a loss of words.

"Yeah that's what I thought." Lincoln left.

"Oh is he in for it!" Lola marches away and trips on a the personality swapper. "This blaster will work great, because when I get a hold of him….."

However, Lola accidentally blasted herself with the swapper, giving her Lincoln's personality.

"Or maybe I'll just stay here. I'm sure Linky will be back soon."

Lana then came down from the rock climbing wall.

"Hey Lana. You wanna go play in the sandbox while we wait?"

Lana noticed Lola's change of behavior. "Uh…...Lola? Are you feeling a little….funny?"

"Funny? What do you mean by funny?"

"I don't know. It's just, I've never seen you act so nice before."

"Oh. Well it doesn't seem strange to me. But thanks for asking."

Lana had a strange feeling in her gut. "You know what? Maybe I better go find Lincoln before he gets into trouble."

"Lana, wait!"

"What's the matter?"

"Maybe I should come with you. Just to make sure everything's okay."

"Uh…..okay."

* * *

Nearby, kids were playing in the sandbox when Lincoln came by.

"You know, I really don't think digging in that sand is a very good idea."

"Why not?" One kid asked.

"Oh it's usually nothing to worry about. Unless a big sand-worm crawls out and eat you up!"

Then all the kids ran away screaming.

"Now it's all mine!"

"Lincoln!" Lana scolds. "That was mean!"

"Oh brother. You again? Why don't you go dive into a mud pit or something?"

"I never should have done this Lincoln! I'm taking back Lola's personality and giving yours back to you!"

Lincoln pushes her away. "No way! This new me is a lot more fun!" Then he drifts off.

"Come on Lola! We gotta go after him!"

"I don't know Lana. He seemed pretty angry. What if he pounds us?"

Lana groaned, as it seemed Lola was becoming as soft as her brother. "Okay. I got an idea. Come with me."

* * *

Later, Lincoln was standing in front of the rock climbing wall making an announcement to the kids.

"And you tell all your moms and dads that the only way you can play on this rock climbing wall is if you bring me lots of cookies."

Then he heard Lana splashing around in a mud puddle. "Boy, this mud sure is fun."

"What's she up to now?" He headed over.

"Yep. This is the best mud in the whole world!"

"What do you think you're doing Lana?" Lincoln confronts.

"Oh just playing around in a mud puddle," Lana smirks. "The best part is getting it all over you and rolling around in it. Of course some people are to afraid to play in the mud."

"Aw what would you know? You're nothing but a messy six year old with a crooked hat."

"Do I really sound like that?" Lola asked.

Lana nods.

"Boy, I really am obnoxious."

"Like I said, some people are just too afraid of getting dirty."

"Oh yeah?" Lincoln says. "Well I ain't one of them! Watch out!"

He was about to dive right in, but then there were two big shadows from behind him.

"Hey you!"

"Uh oh! Mean bullies!" Lola hid behind her twin. "Hide me Lana!"

"Lola stop! Boy, I never thought I'd miss my _old_ twin sister," Lana grumbled to herself.

The two bullies were none other than Hawk and Hank.

"I thought I told you to get off our grass!" Hank shouts.

"This grass? Oh I'm sorry. I forgot it was yours. Here you go!" Lincoln took some grass from the mud and smudged it on their shirts.

Lana covered her eyes.

Both Hank and Hawk were horrified and disgusted.

"He got me all wet and dirty!" Hank cried.

"Let's get out of here!" Hawk suggests. "That kid's crazy!"

The two bullies dashed off.

"What a couple of wussy twits," Lincoln scoffs. "Now where were we?"

"You were gonna play in this real great mud with me?" Lana guesses.

"Oh yeah." But it didn't take long for Lincoln to realize what was going on. "Hey! Wait a minute! You're trying to trick me, aren't you? You _want_ me to jump in that mud puddle, huh?"

"I told her it was a bad idea Mr. Lincoln sir," Lola admits.

"Lola!" Lana scolds.

"I'll teach you to play tricks!" Lincoln began chasing Lana around the yard. Lola hid under a bush.

Lana kept on running until she heard the sound of a splash. She turned around and saw that her brother has fallen into the mud puddle. She watched, waiting for his response.

"You made me fall in the mud!" Lincoln growled. "Now I'm really mad!" Lincoln went back to chasing her.

"Oh no! Lincoln's stuck like that!" Lana gasps. "Oh why did I try to change him?"

Lana kept on running, until she tripped and fell face first into a mud puddle.

* * *

Then in a split second, Lana found herself in her bed as her eyes shot wide open.

"Huh? It was just a dream?" Lana wasn't sure if what just happened really did happen. So she went over to Lincoln's room to find him lying on his bed sleeping.

She decided to wake him up to find out for sure. "Lincoln?" Lana starts shaking him by the shoulders. "Is it you? Are you still Lincoln?"

Lincoln got a little uptight. "Hey! Quit shaking me!"

Then Lana got worried. "Oh no! You're still Lola! I'm sorry Lincoln! I'm sorry!"

"No, I'm sorry Lana," Lincoln yawns. "I always get a little grumpy when I wake up from my nap."

"Lincoln? Is that you?"

"Who else would I be?"

Lana gave him a hug. "Oh Lincoln! I had a terrible dream! You were like Lola! And Lola was like you! And—!"

"Lana! Get a hold of yourself! How about you just sit down and tell me all about it?"

* * *

Eleven minutes later, Lana finished telling Lincoln the story of her dream.

"And that's what happened," Lana finished.

"Well that was some story," Lincoln said. "I'm glad none of that actually happened."

"Me too. I don't ever want you to change, Lincoln. I love you just the way you are."

"Same to you little sis. Now what do you say we go get a snack?"

"Sure thing."

Lana and Lincoln head out into the hallway to the stairs. When suddenly…..

"Hey! Watch where you're going philistine!" Lola said pointing to what Lana was stepping on. "You're standing on my Malibu beach house!"

Lana was thrilled. "Lola! You're mean again!"

Lana marches right up to her twin and hugs her tightly, much to Lola's dismay as she tried to escape.


	66. Hall monitor

**Hey everyone**

 **Here is yet another story. Now for this one, I decided to do a hall monitor related story. The idea came to me after watching hall monitor episodes of _SpongeBob SquarePants, Hey Arnold_ and _The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius_ (and I'm not gonna lie, _SpongeBob's_ Hall Monitor episode is my number one favorite). **

**Now I'm sure you all know how these episodes go. The main character gets a job as a hall monitor, they take their position too far, they realize what they've been doing, blah, blah, blah, etcetera, etcetera. Anyway, I decided to combine the elements used in those episodes and do a Loud House hall monitor tale. And honestly, I'd kinda like to see a hall monitor episode in the show.**

 **But until then, please enjoy _this_ version.**

* * *

It started out like any normal morning. Only on this morning, Lincoln and Clyde was dashing on their way to school.

"Run Clyde, Run!"

"I'm hurrying! See Lincoln, I told you we shouldn't have stopped for some extra breakfast burritos!"

"Hey, I can't help it if being in a rush makes me hungry!"

"Normally I'd be all like ' _everything's gonna be okay after principal Huggins scolds us_ ', but we've been coming in late a lot lately and I think he's starting to get sick of it."

"It's not the principal I'm afraid of. It's….."

Right when they got to the door of the school, they were stopped by Lola and Lana Loud.

"...the hall monitors!"

"Hey Lincoln!" Lola scolds. "You know the rules! No running! That's a citation!"

"And where's your hall pass?" Lana asked.

"I don't need one guys," Lincoln said. "I'm not _in_ the hall, and class hasn't started yet."

As Clyde and Lincoln began to head in, the twins immediately stepped in their way just as the late bell rang.

" _Now_ you need a pass," Lola said. " _Another_ citation. And you're late to class. Another citation."

"Don't take this the wrong way Lincoln," Lana said. "But being our big brother doesn't exactly get you a special treatment. It's just business. Have a nice day."

As the two walked into the hallway, Lincoln spoke to the audience. "I guess you just realized why I was in a rush to get to school. Yep, that's right. Lola and Lana are once again the hall monitors. Now don't get me wrong, I can usually handle the twins on a daily basis. But when those two become hall monitors, they also become power hungry powerhouses. And unfortunately, I have to put up with it."

Then Mrs Johnson came into the classroom. "Okay class. I have an announcement to make. The twins Lola and Lana have been suspended from their hall monitor duties. So principal Huggins has chosen our class to choose a temporary replacement. So I'll be picking a random name from this hat."

However, Lincoln wasn't too wild about the idea. "Pfft! That's the most stupid job in the world. I would hate to be hall monitor."

"Oh totally," Clyde falsely agrees. "I really hope I'm hall monitor," he whispered to himself.

Mrs. Johnson pulls out a name from the hat. "Clyde McBride!"

"I ACCEPT!"

"I forgot to tell you that you're dad left an extra pair of clean you-know-what's at the office."

Just as Clyde got his hopes up, they were immediately dashed.

"Now where was I? Oh right, the new hall monitor announcement." Mrs. Johnson read what the name really was. "It's Lincoln Loud!"

"Wait, what!" Lincoln was shocked. "There must be some mistake!"

"I don't think there's a mistake Lincoln," Zach said.

"Yeah," Liam agrees. "You're the only one named Lincoln Loud in this whole dang school."

"Oh. Well in that case, excuse me for a minute." After Lincoln took a deep breath, he let out a really loud scream.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"This is the worst thing to ever happen to me!"

* * *

Back at the Loud house, Lincoln was talking with the twins in their room.

"Are you kidding! Being a hall monitor was the best thing that ever happened to me!" Lana said.

"Oh how I loved it so!" Lola agrees. "The sash, the uniform, the smell of the hall."

"The beautiful noise that my shoes made when I walked," Lana said making footstep sounds with her mouth.

Lincoln was still not convinced. "Well if it's such a blast, how come you both got suspended?"

"Lola got us into trouble for charging kids to use the bathroom."

"Hey!" Lola shouts. "I wouldn't have to do that if _you_ pay me back the $20 you've owed me since Christmas!"

"I told you I would pay you back when I get the chance!" Lana argues.

" _Sure_ you will. Just like you said you would fix my steering wheel. Oh but guess what? You never did! Miss lazy pants!"

"Guys! This isn't helping!" Lincoln interrupted. "I don't know the first thing about hall monitoring."

"Well you're in luck," Lola says. "Because you happen to be in the hands of the two best hall monitor mentors ever."

Lana stepped forward. "Lincoln Loud, welcome to Hall Monitoring 101."

* * *

"Okay here's your first lesson," Lana announces. "Me and Lola are gonna run around in the hallway, and your job is to tell us to stop."

Then the twins began running around like crazy.

"Uh….excuse me! Could you…..I'm talking to you! "Will you please…?"

But despite Lincoln's 'best' efforts, the twins wouldn't stop. Finally, they did once Lincoln looked like he was about to give up.

"This isn't gonna be easy, is it?" Lana thought.

"Nope," Lola answered.

* * *

Back in the twins room, the sisters in question were speaking with him.

"It's no use!" Lincoln said. "I'm just not fit to be a hall monitor."

"Not with that attitude, you're not!" Lola said.

"Yeah, Lincoln," Lana agrees. "You gotta be more aggressive when you stand up to others!"

"Well how am I supposed to do that if nobody even listens to me?" Lincoln asked.

"Then you gotta _make_ them listen," Lana said. "Just follow these simple rules. If anyone stands in your way, stand up straight, look them in the eyes and be firm!"

"And if that doesn't work," Lola chimes in. "Then you gotta resort to more drastic measures." Lola pounds her fist into her palm.

Lincoln was a little disturbed. "Doesn't seem very fair to me."

"It might not be fair, but I don't care."

"That's lesson number one for you Link," Lana declares. "Show people who's boss."

* * *

Later, the trio was in the dining room for Lincoln's next lesson.

"Now this is lesson number two," Lola introduced. "Take down criminals, no matter how small the crime may be. Observe." Lola points to a mess on the floor under the table.

"Aha! Vandals! Another crime!" Lana crouched down to the floor and licked the evidence. "Hmm…..strawberry. I must act!"

Then another drip fell on her head. The twins looked up and saw Leni eating an ice cream cone.

"Leni!"

Leni thought she heard something.

"Leni!"

Then she heard it again, getting a little scared.

"Leni!"

"My ice cream! It's alive! AHHH!" Leni screamed as the ice cream cone flew right out of her hand.

"Leni! Down here!"

Leni looked down and saw her younger sister with ice cream all over her hat. "Oh Lana. It's you."

"Leni, come down here."

Leni got out of her chair. "You look funny." She also noticed the other twin. "Hi Lola."

"That's hall monitor to you!" Lola scolds.

"Sorry officer."

"Sorry's not good enough Leni. You just committed a crime and we're taking you in."

"What crime?"

Lana points to the ice cream cone on the floor.

"Oh no! I'm a bad person!" Then Leni ran upstairs crying, while Lola wrote down in her notepad.

"Wasn't that a little harsh?" Lincoln asked.

Lana shrugs. "Eh, she'll forget about it."

* * *

Back in the twins room.

"Okay we're almost done," Lana declares. "All that's left is lesson three. Step up your game."

"Huh?"

"What she means is you gotta be prepared for anything," Lola clarifies. "Take care of the crimes before they happen."

"And lucky for you, we happen to have a sister who knows a lot about preparation."

(I think you can all guess which sister Lana was referring to.)

* * *

The kids were now in Lisa's room.

"Glad you could make it elder brother," the young genius greets. "You're just in time for the testing of my latest inventions."

"Just to be clear, these new inventions won't result in mutant side effects, will they?" Lincoln asked cautiously.

"Positively not. Or at the very least I don't intend to."

Lincoln gulps.

"Anyways, I can help you bring Royal Woods elementary into the new millennium and beyond. With state-of-the-art hall monitoring. In exchange for one small favor."

" _Riiiiight_."

Lisa began introducing the inventions one by one. The first was a small handheld device. "The hall pass authenticator. Able to detect counterfeit passes."

The second was a helmet. "The ID and background check scanner. Programmed to examine any student within its database."

Finally, the last one was a magnifying glass. "And lastly, the X-ray magnifier. Able to detect possession of anything not allowed on school premises."

"Cool!"

"Hey!" Lola complains. "How come you never trust us with this stuff when we handle our duties?"

"One," Lisa listed. "Lola's feistiness and strict controlling personality is more than enough. And two, I'm still angry at a certain mechanic for taking my pocket sized utility toolkit."

"Hey!" Lana argues. "It's not my fault I couldn't find my screwdriver!"

"Well maybe it wouldn't be so hard to find if you weren't so messy!" Lola shouts.

"It's not messy! It just has character!"

"That doesn't even make any sense!"

"Your face doesn't make any sense!"

"Excuse me Lisa," Lincoln interrupted. "What is it that you want for all this stuff?"

"Oh just a simple PBJ will do," Lisa answers.

"That's it? That's all you want?"

"What can I say? Inventing gadgets isn't exactly easy on an empty stomach."

* * *

In the twins room…..again.

"Okay Lincoln," Lana declares. "That's basically the basics. Just stick to the lessons and you'll do fine."

"Right," Lincoln confirms. "Be firm, take down criminals and step up your game. Look out Royal Woods. Lincoln Loud is on the job!"

* * *

The next day, Lincoln came back from school with a smile on his face.

Inside, the twins were on the couch watching tv.

"Hey Linky," Lola greeted. "How'd it go?"

"It was great!" Lincoln answered. "Your guys' lessons really payed off."

"Glad we could help," Lana replies. "But you don't have to keep wearing that stuff, you know."

"Eh, I think I'm gonna keep it on for a while. It makes me feel….important."

Lincoln headed upstairs to his room and reflected on his school day.

"Ah! You know what? For once, I might have been wrong. Being a hall monitor is a great job!"

Then he got a great idea. "And who says it has to end?"

* * *

The next day was Saturday, and all the Loud kids were doing what they would normally do.

That is until they heard a loud whistle. The girls turned to see that it was their brother blowing the whistle.

"What gives Lincoln?!" Lola shouts.

"Just trying out my new hall monitor whistle," Lincoln answered. "Figured I might as well try using it over the weekend."

"Wait," Lana interrupts. "You're gonna practice being a hall monitor here?"

"Why not? You and Lana practiced when you were at home."

"Fair enough," Lana shrugs.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I need to straighten out my office." Lincoln went back into his room.

"I'm not sure about this," Lori says.

"Aw, lay off the little guy," Lana assures. "He's probably just having fun."

"Little guy?" Lisa questions. "You both are half his size."

"Says the girl who's two years younger than both of us," Lola points out.

"Touché."

* * *

Things started out as just plain annoying, but then within the next hours, the power was starting to go to Lincoln's head.

Just then, Luan pops out of her room. "Hey Link. I was wondering if you could give me some advice. What do you think would make a good party game? Airplanes?"

Lincoln thought about it. "Nah, someone might crash."

"What about pin the tail on the donkey?"

"Could get pinned in the butt."

"Ring around the Rosie?"

"You'll all fall down."

"Well you gotta help me choose something."

"Hey, you can never be too cautious when choosing party games Luan."

Then Luna pops out with headphones over her ears. "Why don't you make yourself useful and actually help instead of criticizing her options?"

"Is that music you're listening to?" Lincoln asked Luna.

"Yeah. It's this new band called Heavy Metal Fusion."

"There is no pop, punk, blues, rock, roll, heavy metal, oldies or easy listening allowed in the halls. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to confiscate."

Lincoln took the headphones off Luna's head, causing her to have a meltdown. "AHHH! Music withdrawal! Skin…..feeling…..clammy!" Luna faints to the floor.

Then Lynn came by with a duffel bag. "Well that was on the harsh side."

"You got a problem citizen?" Lincoln accuses. "What's in the gym bag?"

"What? Lincoln, it's me. Lynn. Your big sister. Cut me a break, little bro."

"I'm just doing my job. Allow me to do a quick inspection." Lincoln took out the X-ray magnifying glass. "Let's see, baseball, baseball mitt, baseball bat….." Lincoln reaches in and found some incriminating evidence. "AHA! And what do we have here? A tiny little, colorfully wrapped pack of cherry flavored chewing gum perhaps?"

"But I wasn't chewing it!"

"That's possession Lynn! You are going down!"

"What's the big deal anyway? This is our house."

"Nevertheless. That gum could've ended up in someone else's hair." Lincoln hands her a citation.

* * *

Moments later, Lucy was rushing through the hall to the bathroom.

"Yo! Halt!"

Lucy stopped in her tracks once she heard Lincoln's voice.

"Do you have any idea how fast you were going there Lucy?"

"Look Lincoln, I'm really sorry. But I really have to go to the bathroom. And I just thought that…"

"You just thought, eh? Well did you ever just think about the safety of the other sisters? What if at that exact moment, the others came and caused a collision right in the hallway and everyone was stuck in a traffic jam?"

"Well I guess I didn't consider that."

"Tell you what sis. You can have all the time you need to think it over…...in the slammer!" Lincoln wrote a citation and gave it to Lucy.

"Can I at least use the bathroom?"

"Fine. Just don't run."

Then within a matter of seconds, the twins ran out of their room. Lola with a doll in her hand and Lana with a pair of scissors in hers. Which makes Lincoln blow his whistle again.

"Halt!"

The twins stopped in their tracks.

"What's going on Lincoln?" Lana asked.

"I'm afraid I'm gonna have to lock you up Lana," Lincoln answered.

"For what?"

"You were running with scissors!"

"No I wasn't!"

Lincoln pointed to the pair of scissors in her hand. Lana hides them behind her back, smiling innocently.

"You have committed a safety violation. No running with scissors."

Lincoln hands Lana a citation. But just as Lola was about to sneak off, Lincoln hands her a citation.

"And here's one for you for running in the hallway."

Lola took the ticket and immediately tore it up and threw it on the floor.

"And that's for littering."

Lincoln gave Lola another one much to her dismay.

* * *

A couple days later, the girls were all in Lori's room for a sister meeting.

"Alright everyone!" Lori announces. "I believe it's pretty clear why we're here?"

"No doubt about it!" Luna answers. "Little bro's gone nuts!"

"I assume everyone got a citation?" Lisa asked.

All the girls pulled out a strip of paper.

"Yeah!" Lynn shouts. "I mean look at all these citations! I got one for running!"

"I got one for walking too slow," Lucy answers.

"One for causing explosions," said Lisa.

"One for playing music too loud," Luna said.

"One for telling bad jokes," Luan lists.

"One for being too bossy," Lola adds.

"One for stinky feet," Lana includes.

"One for taking too long in the bathroom," Leni counts.

"One for using a phone while walking," Lori finished. "And those were just from this morning."

"What about Lily?" Leni asked.

"She got one for stinky diapers."

"Poo-poo!" Lily held up her slip to prove it.

"Personally, I blame the twins for this," Lisa accuses.

"What? What did we do?" Lola asked.

"You two were the ones who took him under your wings!" Luna answered.

"Hey!" Lana argues. "When we told him he needed to be more strict, we didn't mean to us!"

"Well you never specified that!" Lisa blames.

"Well someone could've reminded us to tell him!"

Lori silences everyone. "Quiet! We can pin the blame on the twins later. But right now we have to stop our brother before he turns this place into a prison."

Speak of the devil, Lincoln barges right through the door. "Are you guys conducting a secret meeting?! Is this a conspiracy to start a riot!"

"Dang it!" Lucy said. "I forgot how ridiculously thin the walls are."

"Cut the chit chat ladies! Now line up!"

"Okay Lincoln! That's it! You're out of control!" Lori declares. "I'm issuing a protest!"

"I demand a good lawyer!" Lisa announces.

"I want my music!" Luna whined.

"I want my mommy!" Lola cries.

"I just want some fudge," Lana shrugs.

"Oh, I see. In that case, I'm gonna place all of you on lockdown!" Lincoln pulls on a lever conveniently placed on the wall. Then a loud siren rang out.

Lisa shook her head in shame. "Why did I install that security alarm system?"

And just like that, the girls all fell down a trap door and ended up in their respective rooms with bars in the doorway.

* * *

Moments passed, and Lincoln patrols the hall as the girls were getting bored.

Luna even began singing in her room.

Lincoln cuts her off. "Lady! We don't sing the blues here!"

Then Lynn was banging a tin mug against the bars.

"No tin cup banging, sporty!"

"Dang it."

Then Lola was carving a key out of a soap bar.

"And no carving keys to your cell out of soap!" Lincoln points.

Lola hid the soap carving behind her.

"Now no more intrusions. And don't try any funny business either." Lincoln went to his room and shut the door.

"Well that went well," Lucy lamented.

"Forget what I said about our brother being nuts," Luna said. "He's gone beyond kuckoo!"

"More kuckoo than a clock," Luan laughs. "But seriously, this is insane!"

"Even me and Lola don't go this far when we practice hall monitoring at home," Lana clarifies.

"What does that even matter?" Lola said. "We're never gonna get out of here. We're all trapped like canaries in a cage."

Speaking of which, their pet Walt flew in with a stern look.

"No offense, Walt."

Walt tweeted (translation: Whatever) and flew off.

"Lola's right though," Lynn said. "Even the windows are locked. There's no way out."

"Not necessarily," Lisa states. "After I installed the security system, I realized there's one thing I didn't count on. The air vents."

All the girls looked up to the roof and saw the vent opening.

In the twins room, Lana had a plan to get up there. She removed her hat, revealing her pet frog. "Okay Hops. You know what to do."

Hops used his tongue to reach up to the vent as Lana held on. Once she was in, Hops came back down waiting for the other twin.

"Come on Lola! It won't hurt you."

Lola sighs. "I know I'm gonna regret this." Still being hesitant, Lola held onto Hops and made it into the vent.

Soon enough, the rest of the girls helped each other get in the ventilations, and they all snuck out to the living room.

Not long after, Lincoln peaks out of his bedroom and saw that all the sisters were gone. He heard them chattering downstairs. So he rushed down to the living room.

"I see you hooligans have escaped."

"Yeah! That's right!" Lynn answered. "And there's nothing you can do about it!"

"Face it Lincoln," Lana clarifies. "You're just a hall monitor. Technically, we're not in the hall, therefore you can't tell us what to do."

"She's right," Lisa states.

"Dang it," Lincoln groaned.

"You know," Luan says. "You used to be such a nice quiet guy, but you've changed."

"I suppose you're right. Guess I'm not that little mouse that lets people push him around anymore, am I?"

"Welcome to my reality," muttered Lucy.

"No Lincoln," Lana said. "You're something else. You've become a power hungry powerhouse!"

"Indeed," Lisa agrees. "You've given us citations, called us out for things we do on a regular basis, even going as far as incarcerating us in our own rooms."

"Hey!" Lincoln argues. "The twins do all that stuff too!"

"Well at least we don't act like dictators!" Lola shouts. "No offense Lori."

"None taken Lola," Lori answers.

"Really bro?" Luna questioned. "How could you? You know I'm always willing to support your choices, but this phase has gone too far!"

"IT'S NOT A PHASE SIS!" Lincoln barks. "THIS IS WHO I AM!"

"Lincoln! Listen to yourself!" Leni said. "This isn't you!"

"Yeah!" Lana agrees. "Why don't you just stop being hall monitor and go back to plain old Lincoln?"

"You mean old wishy-washy Lincoln who's nothing but a pushover? Forget it! He's gone! And he won't be coming back! I'll be in my office (bedroom). But when you guys get back in the hall, you're gonna wish you didn't escape."

Lincoln marches upstairs to his room, while the girls remained downstairs, looking worried.

Once in his room, Lincoln slams the door. "The nerve of them! Is it that hard to do my job without having to deal with such insubordination?!"

Lincoln decided to look over the surveillance footage. But then he saw himself acting really strict. Which immediately shocked him.

"Is…...is that really me? Did I go too far?"

Lincoln looks at himself in the mirror and saw something completely frightening.

"The girls were right. I did go too far. I'm a monster! Now I know why Lola and Lana became strict. This job changes people. And it started to change me. Well not anymore! I know what has to be done."

* * *

The next day after school, Lincoln came through the front door dressed in his normal clothes.

In the living room, the girls were all more than prepared.

"Alright bro!" Lynn threatens. "I don't wanna hurt you, but I will if I have to!"

"Guys, listen…."

"If you think you can just boss us around like you own the house, then you are sorely mistaken!" Lori adds.

"Guys, it's okay," Lincoln assures. "I'm not the hall monitor anymore."

"We don't care…" then Lola realized what her brother said. "Wait what? What did you say?"

"I quit. I turned in my badge."

"Really? What made you change your mind?" Lana asked.

"I was thinking about what you guys said yesterday, and it turns out you were right. I did let the power go to my head. I was just so excited about finally being in charge for once, that I started to forget who I really am. I don't need to be forceful and aggressive. From now on, I'm just gonna go back to being me."

The girls smiled after hearing that.

"Good for you little bro," Luna said.

"It's great to have you back Lincoln," Lynn said.

The kids all hugged.

Then Lana thought of something. "By the way Link, if you're not the hall monitor anymore, then who is?"

Lincoln laughs nervously. "Funny story."

Back at the school, it was revealed that Clyde becomes the hall monitor.

"Officer McBride says: none shall pass!"

As they would say, here we go again.


	67. In the trash

**Based on the _DragonTales_ episode _Out with the Garbage_.**

* * *

In the twins room, Lana was busy searching for something. "Come on! Where'd it go?"

Then Lola came into the room with a book in her hand.

"Lola, have you seen my drum mallet?"

"What's a drum mallet?" Lola asked.

"I made it. Remember? It's a long stick with a sponge at the end, and I bang my drum with it."

Lola got nervous. "Uh oh. I kinda….sorta…..you know…...threw it out." She whistled innocently and went back to her reading.

Lana was shocked. "What!?"

"I'm sorry Lans. I thought it was garbage."

"Anyone can tell it's a drum mallet."

"And why do you need to know anyway?"

"I need it. I was supposed to have a drum session with Luna today. And now I'm gonna have to bail out on her because _you_ have no respect for my stuff!"

"Oh _you're_ one to talk!"

"Is this about that grease stain on your dress? I said I was sorry! Besides, that was two weeks ago!"

"Well I wouldn't _have_ a stain on my dress if _you_ hadn't used it to polish the car!"

"I ran out of polishing cloths! What does it even matter? You've got a _ton_ of sparkly towels!"

"I keep telling you my dresses are NOT towels!"

"THAT'S IT!" Lana, having officially had enough, furiously stomped her foot to the floor. She then crossed her arms and breathes heavily through her clenched teeth.

Even Lola was frightened. "Whoa! I've never seen Lana this angry before," she thought to herself. Then she made her way to her sister. "Okay Lana, I'm sorry about your drum mallet or whatever. But I'll help you find it later. But for now, what do you say we step out of the room for a while and go see how everybody else is doing?" Lola gave her the cute look.

Lana was still upset, but she managed to calm down a little. "Oh alright. Might as well. Since I can't play with my drum now anyway."

With that, the twins walked out of the room.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the oldest sisters room, Lori and Leni were busy tidying up. Or at least one of them was.

Lori's side was completely organized. "My side's all clean."

But Leni's side….not so much. "Mine too."

"But Leni, Mom and dad are gonna check up here any second. We have to clean up our room."

"I just did."

"I'm serious Leni. Your side's loaded with garbage!"

"What garbage?"

" _That_ garbage! It's everywhere! Just think of how nice it would look if the room were all nice and neat."

"That's _my_ stuff Lori, not garbage! And I know exactly where everything is."

"If you could just see what I mean." Then Lori got an idea. "Wait a minute! Hey Leni, I have a surprise for you."

"You do?"

"But you can't look or hear anything until I say so."

"Okay. Is it a new MP3 player? I just love the music!"

"Oh you'll see." Lori puts on a blindfold and earmuffs on her sister.

Lola and Lana then came in. "Lori. Leni. We're here."

Lana noticed the blindfold and earmuffs. "What's wrong with Leni?"

"I don't want her to see my surprise," Lori answers. "I'm gonna clean up her half of the room."

"You sure she's gonna like that?"

"Oh she'll _love_ it. Bye bye garbage."

Lori began cleaning up.

"Can I look yet?" Leni asked.

"Not yet!" Lori told her.

"Uh Lori?" Lola intervenes. "I'd hate to be 'that girl', but maybe you should ask Leni first."

"Yeah," Lana agrees. "I didn't like it when _Lola_ threw away my drum mallet."

"Just wait and see," Lori assures. "She'll thank me later."

After a few more things, the job was finally done.

"Can I look now?"

Lori took off Leni's blindfold and earmuffs. "Ta-da!"

When Leni saw her side of the room, she was shocked (but not in a good way). Despite being well organized, there was something missing.

"You love it so much, you don't know what to say right?"

"Wrong!" Leni yelled in an angry state. "Where are all my things? My yarn ball, and my rock collection and my tin foil and my button bracelet! I miss my button bracelet."

"I knew it," Lola sighs.

"Me too," Lana agrees.

"But I only threw away the junk that was making a mess," Lori argues.

Leni was shocked. "You _threw out_ all my beautiful treasures?!"

"Not treasures, junk."

"How dare you?!"

"Hey, hey relax," Lana assures. "They're probably still in the waste basket."

But when Leni checks the waste basket, it was empty.

"But that could only mean…." Lori thought for a second and called. "LINCOLN!"

Lincoln steps in. "Yes Lori?"

"Did you have anything to do with this?" Lori says referring to the waste basket.

"Oh yeah. I already took care of the waste baskets in the house. You're welcome," Lincoln said as he left.

"Well that explains it," Lori sighs.

"Maybe they're still down in the garbage can! Hurry!" Leni drags her sister downstairs.

"No!" Lori protests. "Not the garbage can!"

The twins followed.

The girls all went down to the kitchen.

"Ew!" Lola held her nose. "Stinky."

"It's _always_ stinky in the garbage can," Lori states.

"Allow me off you please." Lana stepped forward and dived into the trash can. But much to Leni's (and her own) dismay, there was nothing. "Nope. Sorry. This can is as empty as a hollow walnut. Looks like Lincoln's been here already. But don't worry, it should be fine as long as he didn't take it to the curb for the garbage truck."

The rest of the girls glare at her.

"And I just jinxed it, didn't I?"

Indeed she did. By the time the kids ran out the door, the garbage truck had already taken out the trash to the dump.

"I've really gotta learn to control what comes out of my mouth."

"Looks like there's only _one_ thing to do," Leni declares.

"Go back to our nice clean room and play with Lola and Lana," Lori suggests.

"No! Go to the dump and find my stuff!"

"I was afraid you'd say that. Well, it looks like we'll have to go on foot," Lori groaned.

"Why can't we just use the van?" Lana asked.

"There's no gas in it. A certain handywoman here forgot to fill it up."

"Well I'm sorry, but a miss I'm-too-busy-looking-at-my-phone-to-pay-attention-to-anything forgot to lend me her credit card!"

"Well _I_ can't help it if _you_ can't learn to handle other people's money!"

"How could you even say that?"

"Because every time you ask us for money, you always take Lola's car out for a joyride and go buy a bunch of candy that you don't even need, then you come running back here just so you can hear us say ' _ugh Lana! You're spending all our money!'_ And then you'll just say ' _well I need an energy boost to get me going'_!"

"Uh, guys?" Lola interrupted. "In case you haven't noticed, we've got somewhere to be. Let's just hurry and go. The less time we spend at the dump, the better."

"Boy, you really have issues, don't you?" Lana states.

* * *

Later, the girls were walking to the dump on foot.

"Has anyone ever noticed how fast it takes us to walk somewhere?" Lana noticed.

"What do you mean?" Her twin asks.

"I don't know. It's just that it usually takes people an hour to get to and from another place on foot, but it only takes _us_ a few minutes."

"World works in strange ways, doesn't it? How much farther is it?"

"Not far enough," Lori answers.

"Well you wouldn't have to go at all if _you_ hadn't thrown out my…"

Then Leni was interrupted as the gang came across a mudslide. They slipped and slid down into a big puddle, followed by a dusty bush.

Unsurprisingly, Lana was the only one excited (as you can guess why).

"Everyone okay?" Lori asked.

"Do I _look_ okay?" Lola griped. "I just had this dress cleaned and now I'm gonna have to do it all over….." Then she felt some strange discomfort. "Hey!" She starts scratching herself. "I'm itchy. Itchy! Why am I so itchy?!"

Soon enough, Lori, Leni and Lana began scratching themselves.

Lana took a closer look at the plant and realized…"uh…...guys? I think we landed on an itch fern."

"A what?" Lori questioned.

"Lisa warned me about these things. The dust makes you…."

"ITCHY!"

"Well how do we get the itch dust off?" Lola asked while scratching.

Leni then pulled out something from her pocket. "How about with this?"

"A broken paintbrush?" Lori asked. "Leni, that's junk."

"It is _not_! It's beautiful, and it still works."

Leni used it to brush the itch dust off her sisters.

"Thanks Leni," Lola praises.

"Much better," Lana sighs.

Lori shrugged. "I guess that brush was still good for something."

"Sheesh," Lana said. "That itch felt worse than poison ivy."

"Seriously Lana," Lola groaned. "You gotta stop rolling around in that stuff."

* * *

Finally the girls arrived at the Royal Woods dump.

"Ugh, finally!" Lola sighs. "Took long enough."

"Quit your complaining Lola," Lana said. "We're on a mission. Let's just do what we have to do and….."

Then suddenly, Lana bumps into someone and fell to the ground.

Then a hand reaches out to her to assist her back up. "Sorry about that. You okay?"

Once Lana got back on her feet, she then recognized who it was. "Hey, I know you. You're one of Lincoln's friends. The one from the farm."

"That I am. Name's Liam by the way."

"I'm Lana," she introduced as they shook hands. "These are my other sisters. This is my twin Lola, and my big sisters Lori and Leni."

"Nice to meet y'all, officially."

"What are you literally doing in a dump like this anyway?" Lori asked.

"I like to rummage around here on my time off. Just to see what stuff I can use. Speaking of which, I found this," he said holding up a mixer. "To mix up my fruit juices."

"It's beautiful," Leni said in admiration. "Liam, maybe you can help us. Some of my valuable treasures may be here."

"Don't tell me you accidentally threw out your stuff."

"Well _I_ didn't," she said glaring at her sister.

"I'm sorry Leni. But i'm afraid all the trash from your house went into that there recycling contraption." Liam points to a giant machine.

Leni ran up to it, looking into the tube. "In here?" Suddenly Leni accidentally fell in.

"Leni!" Lori jumps in following her. Both of the girls went through the machine as it starts clinging and clanging. Then they came out of the other end into a pile of recyclables. "Well _that_ made my day."

As Lori pops her head out, Leni noticed what was resting on her head. "My yarn ball!"

"How can you tell it's _yours_?"

" _I_ collected it. I'd know it anywhere."

Liam and the twins ran up to the two older sisters. "Y'all okay?"

"Yeah, we're fine," Leni said. "Say Liam, do you mind if we keep looking for my tinfoil ball, my rock collection and most of all, my button bracelet?"

"Sure darling. If you need me, I'll be nearby."

* * *

Later on, the girls began their search.

"You know it wouldn't be so bad if people would just recycle these things," Lola griped. "I mean we do have a system after all."

Lana shrugs. "Maybe they just don't realize it."

"What? You're _defending_ these people? I suppose you'd be _happy_ being stuck here looking through all this?"

"Heck yeah I am! Because I've just found these!" Lana reaches into her overall pocket and pulls out a pair of silver plated false teeth.

"Ewwwww! Wait! What are you gonna do with false silver dentures?"

"I don't know. I'll think of something." She puts them back into her pocket.

"Wait a minute. Are you just filling your pocket with stuff you find?"

"Of course. People throw out a ton of cool things. You just gotta know where to look." Then she spotted a thrown out paper bag with rancid food in it. "Oh cool! Somebody must've lost their lunch!"

"And I'm about to lose _mine_ ," Lola gagged. She then searched on her own. She approached Leni with tiny rocks in her hands. "Are these your rocks Leni?"

"Nope," Leni answered. "Mine are all smooth."

Lana pops up with rocks in her hands. "Like these?"

"Yes! Yes! And yes! Oh welcome back little Rockies."

"Now all that's left is your tinfoil ball and your button bracelet."

"But everything's so disgusting," Lori exclaimed. "I wanna help you Leni, but I hate touching trash."

"Join the club big sis," Lola says.

Leni pulled something else from behind her back. "Then just use this."

"But it's just a broken junkie thing," Lori says.

"No it's not." It was actually a pair of tongs. "It's a picker-upper. See? No hands."

"Oh, I never thought of that." Lori used it to find three pieces of tinfoil. "Hey Leni. Is one of these your tinfoil?"

"Nah. Too big. Too scrunched." Finally, she found it. "That's it!"

"Does this mean we can go now?"

Leni looks at her sternly. "Do I have my button bracelet?"

Lori sighs. "I'll keep looking."

* * *

Hours passed and eventually, the girls were giving up.

"I can't believe we couldn't find it," Leni lamented.

"Guess it's gone Leni," Lana said sadly. "Just like my drum mallet that I loved."

That made Lola feel guilty. "I'm sorry Lana."

Then Lori hears Leni cry, and she started feeling sorry herself. "Don't cry Leni."

"I can't help it!" She weeps. "I just…..I miss…..I miss my bracelet!"

"I'll make another one! I'll find you all the buttons you need! I'll dig through every piece of garbage if I have to." And so she did. As such, she found a round seafoam green button. "Here's a nice one. Do you like it?"

Leni stopped crying. "It's seafoam green. My favorite color."

"I'll find some more!"

"That's okay Lori. I'll use this one for starters and collect the rest later."

"I'm sorry I threw out your stuff Leni. Really really sorry."

"That's okay. I can't stay mad at you big sis."

* * *

Elsewhere in the dump, Liam was nearby, still rummaging.

"Bye Liam," Leni waves. "We're going home."

"Did you find all your buried treasures Leni?" Liam asked.

"Not exactly. But Lori did find this." Leni showed him the button.

"Tarnation! It's mighty purty. It'd look mighty fine on my bracelet." Liam shows them the one on his wrist. "I found this here one in the garbage. I just can't believe someone would throw out such a fine looking ornament."

Leni was surprised. "Oh! My button bracelet! Safe and sound!"

Lori sighs with relief. "Thank goodness."

"Was this yours? Well bust my britches. I should have known. Here you go darling." Liam hands the bracelet back to her.

"Oh thank you."

"It's pretty Leni," Lola says in admiration.

"For you Liam." Leni gave him the button that they found. "To start your own button bracelet."

"Why thank you kindly," he praised.

"Well, we better get going," Lori said as they left.

"Tell your brother I said hi."

"Will do Liam," Lana replies.

* * *

Once the kids got back home, the twins went up to their room.

"Well _that_ was quite an adventure," Lana said.

"Yeah no kidding," Lola somewhat agrees. "But seriously, I'm never doing that again."

"Well, I guess I'll have to tell Luna to cancel our session. Since I can't play my drum."

But just as Lana was heading out, Lola stops her. "Wait! Maybe your drum mallet is still in the wastebasket."

The twins looked into the wastebasket and Lana found what she was looking for. "Yes! It's still here! Lincoln must've forgotten to do _our_ trash."

Lana took her mallet and began bashing her drum, much to Lola's dismay.

Lola covered her ears. "Lana! Lana!" Then she sighed. "Oh well, if you can't beat them, _join_ them."

And that's just what she did as she took the wastebasket and played it like a drum.


	68. Séance in School

**Based on the _Spongebob_ episode _Seance Scheance._**

 **(I've been getting a few guest requests for this)**

 **Enjoy**

* * *

It was just like any other day at Royal Woods elementary.

The kids were all heading out to lunch. Haiku was first in line.

"Can I get you anything?" The lunch lady asked.

"I'll have a Spooky on Sourdough," Haiku answered.

"Charming colloquialism, but let's try something that's actually on the menu."

"Don't pull my strings. I want a Spooky on Sourdough and nothing less."

"Excuse me." Right behind her was Lucy. "What's this Spooky on Sourdough you're talking about?"

"Only the most legendary sandwich known to mankind. Oh what I would give for a sandwich like that."

Then everyone else in line started getting antsy.

"Oh come on!"

"Are you gonna order anything or what?"

"Let's get a move on here!"

Principal Huggins came into the lunch room. "What's going on in here?" Huggins spotted what the holdup was. "Oh it's _you_. Only what's on the menu little missy."

"Whatever. I'm not hungry anymore. I'll just go drink from the water fountain." Haiku walks off while Lucy watched.

* * *

Lucy ran into Principal Huggins' office.

"Can I help you missy?" Huggins asked.

"The name's Lucy. Lucy Loud."

"Oh right. You're the girl from the writing club."

"I came to ask you something. I couldn't help but notice that someone was quite unsatisfied during lunch time. Just out of curiosity, why doesn't the cafeteria serve Spooky on Sourdough anymore?"

"Because they never did. That sandwich was on the menu of an old school cafeteria that lay here a long time ago. It was an old ramshackle school called Spooky Seminary, and the only one who knew how to make the sandwich was the owner Sebastian von Shock. However, old Sebastian bought the farm 20 years ago."

"Wicked."

"The only way you'd get that recipe is if you somehow had a way of talking to the unliving. Now scram. I have important business to attend to."

Huggins shoos Lucy out of the room.

This gave Lucy plenty of time to think. "Perhaps I might be able to get that recipe after all."

* * *

Elsewhere in the hallway, Lincoln was walking to his locker, when he opened the door to find his little sister inside of it.

Lincoln was shocked. "Lucy! What are you doing in my locker?"

"I've been in here waiting for you to get out of class. It's actually pretty nice in here."

"Okay…...but _why_ are you in my locker?"

"Not important. Listen, I need to ask you a favor. After school, I need you to bring my spellbook, my crystal ball and my fortune teller's hat and meet me in the cafeteria."

"Why?"

"No time to explain. Just do it."

Then Lincoln got the idea of what she was planning. "Wait a minute! Are you planning a seance again? Lucy! We talked about this! You promised you wouldn't do this anywhere other than our house!"

"I know. But this is an emergency. Tell you what, if you promise not to tell mom and dad, I'll convince Lola to leave you alone for a week."

"How you gonna do that?"

"I have my ways."

"Fine. You got a deal."

* * *

Late that night, Lincoln came to the school with Lucy's gear. With a little help from Clyde.

"Thanks for helping me carry this stuff Clyde."

"No problem buddy," Clyde replies. "But why does Lucy need this stuff again?"

"Don't ask," Lincoln groaned.

The two boys made it into the school cafeteria where it's completely dark.

"Well, here we are," Lincoln said.

"But where's Lucy?" Clyde asked.

"I'm right here."

Lucy pops right up behind them, frightening them.

"Oh hey Lucy," Lincoln greets. "I brought your seance equipment."

"Why?"

Lincoln got confused. "Because you asked me to."

"I know that. I meant why did you bring Clyde?"

"He likes to tag along with me."

"Whatever. Just set all the stuff down over there," Lucy said pointing to a table.

"No problem," Clyde said. "But why are we here."

"Tonight, we shall make contact with the unliving. By performing….. a seance!"

The some lights flickered in the background like lightning.

"Where'd that thunder and lightning come from?" Clyde asked.

"Must've been the faulty wiring," Lincoln answered.

Then the seance began. The boys set up Lucy's crystal ball and lit all the candles on the table. Lucy held out her spell book.

"As consort to the spirit world, I now commence this seance! I shall invoke the specter of Sebastian von Shock! Let his spirit reveal himself to me so that I may speak with him!"

Nothing happened.

"Know too, that I beckon the spirit of the Spooky Seminary!"

Thunder roars. Lucy's crystal ball began glowing and rattling as a spirit came out of nowhere in the form of a little schoolhouse.

"The Spooky Seminary!"

"But where's Sebastian?" Lincoln asked.

Then a bunch of ghost sandwiches combined together forming the spirit of an old cafeteria chef.

Lucy was amazed and Lincoln was surprised.

But Clyde was just plain frightened. "A ghost! I thought you were conjuring a rump roast! I'm out of here!" Clyde ran right out of the school. "Don't worry buddy! I'll go get help! Just get me away from this freak!"

Lucy shrugs. "I'm sure he means freak in the nicest possible way."

"Alright," Lincoln interrupted. "Enough of this hocus pocus mumbo jumbo. Time to put in some work. Say Sebastian, hows about spilling the beans on that old…..uh….what did you say that recipe was again?"

"Spooky on Sourdough."

"Yeah! What she said."

However, the ghost just mumbled, making it difficult to understand.

"Oh, well that was…..just gibberish." Lincoln then took out a notepad and pen. "How about you write down the recipe."

Lincoln tried to hand over the notepad, but it just went through Sebastian's hand.

"Oh right. He's a ghost."

"What was your first clue?" Lucy sighs.

"How about if you just show us?"

Sebastian led the two kids into the old shack.

"Gee," Lincoln says. "What a nice spread you got here. But where's the sandwich bread, the condiments, the cold cuts?"

"Do not question the mind of an apparition, big brother," said Lucy.

Sebastian took out a piece of driftwood and began carving it into a sandwich.

Lincoln was confused. "A sourdough sandwich made entirely of driftwood? Now I've seen everything."

Sebastian spread some ghost pepper sauce onto the driftwood and then dipped the sandwich into horseradish. Then he handed it over to Lincoln.

"Oh? You want me to try it?"

Sebastian nods.

"Well it certainly smells…...industrial." Lincoln took a bite out of the sandwich, but it gave him splinters on his tongue and steam came out of his ears. "I….. think it's an acquired taste."

Then Lucy gave it a try. And when she did, she was more satisfied than her brother. "Wicked."

Just then, the scent came out of the old schoolhouse. Then more ghosts began popping out of the floor.

"I know that smell anywhere! Hey guys! Come on up! The Spooky on Sourdough is back!"

Then more ghosts started flying around the school cafeteria.

"Hey!" Lucy protested. "I didn't summon you guys!"

"No! But the scent of a Spooky on Sourdough did!" The ghost argues. "Even from way down there!"

Lincoln got nervous. "Oh would you look at that? We're out of horseradish. I'll just have to go get some more." Lincoln ran towards the door, but the ghosts blocked him off. "Boy, these guys sure can terrify."

"You know? This little soirée could never have happened without old Sebastian here. Let's all give a cheer for Sebastian!"

The ghosts began to howl.

"Alright guys," Lincoln interrupted. "I hate to be a party pooper, but it's a little late for all this noise."

"Aw, would you look at that?" The ghosts mock. "The little white hair boy and his spooky little sister don't want us here. Well we'll just see about that. What do you say we have a good old time like we used to?"

The ghosts chanted and began destroying the entire school.

"Lucy?" Lincoln says. "I hate to say I told you so, but…."

"Yeah," Lucy interrupts. "You told me so."

* * *

At the same time, Principal Huggins came back to the school with Clyde.

"I can't I have to come back at this hour. You better have a dang good reason for getting me out of bed."

Huggins unlocks the door and heads inside. But inside the cafeteria, he saw that a bunch of ghosts were partying and chasing Lincoln and Lucy around.

"That good enough for you?" Clyde asked.

"Clyde!" Lincoln shouts. "Help!"

"Sorry Lincoln! But this is the part of the story where I run away again, only this time I'm not sure where to go so I'm just going to circle around the school!" And so he did. He began running around the school screaming at the top of his lungs.

Then Huggins spotted Lucy's crystal ball. "Looks like a certain young lady has been conversing with the unliving!"

Then he grabs a nearby mop.

"Alright you floating nuisances! Time for the boss man to mop up!"

All over the cafeteria, Huggins used the mop to lure the ghosts right back into the crystal ball.

"Go back to where you came!"

Then the ghosts all disappeared and everything went back to normal.

Huggins then gave a very stern look to the two Loud kids, whom were both looking pretty guilty.

"Do me a favor. Never hold a seance in here without my permission. Because ghosts are like relatives. Once you let them in, they'll never wanna leave."

* * *

The next morning started out like any other day. And during lunch time, Haiku finally got to try a Spooky on Sourdough.

"It tastes just like I dreamt it would," she said.

Lucy and Lincoln watched with satisfaction.

"Well this was an interesting story," Lucy thought.

"Yeah," Lincoln agrees. "But I can't help thinking we forgot something."

Then they heard something. When they looked out the window and saw Clyde still running around the school, imitating a ghost.

"Oh, right."


	69. Joyful Virus

**Requested by JMbuilder (guest)**

 **Based on _the Amazing World of Gumball_ episode _The Joy_.**

 **But before we begin, I have an announcement to make. As far as requests go, I do appreciate your suggestions and a lot of them are really good. But I've decided that for the next few chapters I'll make, I am gonna do some of my own ideas. The thing is that I've been having a lot of ideas for future chapters, and I wanna get those out of the way before I forget. I'll try to do as many requests/suggestions I can, but it'll depend on which ones will work.**

 **As for this story, let's just say it wasn't exactly easy to do since the _Gumball_ episode had more of a darker tone. Also, as an additional source of inspiration, I used a few elements from the _Jimmy Neutron_ episode _One of Us_. Maybe you've heard of it or maybe not, but it does have a somewhat similar premise to the _Gumball_ episode (keep in mind, I said SOMEWHAT). So I figured I could make it work by combining both those episodes together into one story.**

 **With all that said, enjoy.**

* * *

The story starts out as two sisters Lisa and Lucy were in the Principal's office cowering in fear as the door was barricaded.

Lisa took out her tape recorder and spoke into it.

"Data log entry: Hello, it is I. Lisa Loud. Here I am trapped in the authority's office of our educational facility with my older sister Lucy. Just moments away from accepting our near fate. How did it all come to this? It all began just this morning."

* * *

 _Monday: 7:53 am_

 _As we most likely would, all of my sisters, including my only brother, and our two parental units were all sitting down to breakfast._

 _Just then our young resident polar-opposite twin sisters Lola and Lana came down the stairs in what appears to be a psychological maladjustment. (Street name: bad mood)._

Indeed, both Lola and Lana were pretty grumpy, seeing as how they just slammed on the table and shoved their breakfast into their mouths and made no excuse.

"I think someone might need a hug," Lincoln said.

"Okay." Leni than gave Lincoln a hug.

"Not _me_ , Leni," Lincoln says. "I meant the twins. Although that _did_ feel good."

"You're welcome."

The father began to notice the twins behavior. "They do seem pretty grumpy today. Let me try something."

Lynn Sr. made his way towards the twins, both of whom were standing by the front door. Lola was repeatedly slamming the door while Lana was furiously stamping her feet.

"What's up?" Their father asked.

"It's Monday!" Lola replies.

"I see. Do you want a hug?"

"There's no point! _Everything_ on Monday is crummy!"

"What about a wonder hug?"

"What's that?" Lana asked.

"It's filled with all the love and happiness in the world."

"That sounds crummy too!" Lola states.

But despite their restraints, their father gave them one anyway. "Wonder hug!"

Then suddenly, a rainbow explosion happened in the house.

 _I didn't have the slightest idea, but I felt that there was a disturbance in the universe._

* * *

 _9:01 am_

 _We have just arrived at our local educational facility, street name: school. And it appears that everyone else seems to be in a less than stellar mood. Which isn't exactly abnormal seeing as how they always react like this on a Monday morning._

"I do enjoy the sweet smell of despair on a Monday morning," Lucy sighs. "But there's something missing." Lucy turns on a song on her phone, which is just sad piano music. "Ah, much better."

 _I must say, the only one seemingly amused by this is Lucy. But that's exactly what I would expect. After all, I do have to live with her._

But it's mostly the twins recently changed behavior that seems the most disturbing.

Lola and Lana were walking down the hallway to class. Lola had a wide semi-toothy grin on her face, while Lana was clicking her heels together.

"That hug feels good," Lola says. "But I still feel grumpy."

"Then why are you smiling?" Lana asked.

"I don't know. Why are you heel clicking?"

Lana noticed what was going on with her feet. "I don't know. But I can't control it."

"I can't either."

The twins head off.

 _I should have known then that something was very wrong._

* * *

 _11:28 am_

 _Later on in the cafeteria, things got really strange._

The twins began eating their lunch. And this time, Lana has a smile on her face.

"Lana, quit smiling!" Lola ordered while smiling herself. "It's creeping me out!"

"I can't help it." Then Lana not only raises her voice, but she also began singing. "My mouth says it's time to stop, but my heart says 'don't listen to him'!" Lana then covered her mouth as soon as she realized what came out of it.

Lisa happened to be sitting next to the twins. "Why might I ask are your vocal chords harmonizing in a fluid manner?"

"English Lisa."

"Why are you singing?"

"I'm sorry," Lola sang. "But since this morning, I think something might be wrong with us, maybe!"

"What is wrong with you?"

Lana sang again. "I don't know. But I kinda like it!"

"Stop singing!" Lola shrieks. "No more singing!"

Lisa was indeed puzzled. "How can you possibly be so happy on a Monday morning of which we happen to have a surprise test after lunch?"

"I don't understand it myself sis. I just feel so hap—."

Lola was interrupted by Lana laughing hysterically.

"What might I ask is so funny?" Lisa accused.

"I just never realized…...how ridiculous…...your haircut is!" Lana kept on laughing uncontrollably, but then she began coughing nastily.

* * *

 _12:00 pm_

 _Log update: subjects' state has now gotten worse. The disease has distorted their faces into a hideous grimace._

The twins were in the nurse's office smiling widely with puppy dog eyes.

"There's nothing wrong with these kids," nurse Patti declares. "They're just smiling because they're happy."

"The happiness is the disease," Lisa argues. "I'll prove it to you!" Lisa turns to the twins. "Try to stop smiling!"

"Okay." Lana tried to frown, but it didn't work.

"Try harder!"

Lana tried moving her lips with her hands, but even with that, she still kept her smile.

"See! This proves that these two are infected! It's scientific!"

"That was a lot of things ending in -ick," the nurse stated. "It was graphic, it was idiotic, it was sick, one could even say it was horrific. But it certainly wasn't scientific."

"I thought it was fantastic!" Lola said.

* * *

 _1:33 pm_

 _As my patience was dispersing, the strangeness continued. The virus had gotten worse, and still no one took me seriously._

Lisa was holding a miniature flashlight and shining it into the twins' eyes. "Look at their eyes. They're all weird."

"Maybe it's because you've been shining a flashlight into them for half an hour," nurse Patti said.

"It's not just the flashlight. Look at those faces."

"Look, can't you just take a minute to see that they're both happy?"

"Take a minute? I can barely take 30 whole seconds! I thought my head would explode! I thought I might faint from the fumes of this supreme stinkiness!"

"I think that big brain of yours has finally blown a gasket."

While the two were arguing, through Lola and Lana's vision was a field of rainbow butterflies and unicorn kittens.

"Sis, can you see what I see?" Lana asked her twin.

"The little kitty says she needs a kiss!"

The twins began walking towards Lisa in an attempt to kiss her, but the young genius tried desperately to show them away. Until she took a lid off of a jar and tossed the liquid into their faces.

"What are you doing?" The nurse exclaimed.

"Throwing water at them," Lisa answers.

"That's not even water. It's cough syrup. And for the record, that's not how you treat students, let alone your sisters."

* * *

 _3:36 pm._

 _It seemed that I had no other choice but to put the two subjects in quarantine. Their state is deteriorating. I would soon have proof of their infection. I also resolved my difference of opinion with the medical staff._

The nurse was seen tied up to a chair.

Then the twins began laughing more than ever. Until finally, they ended up fainting in the medical beds in what appeared to be a comatose like state.

The readings on the brain meters were dead silent for a moment, but then displayed a rainbow on the screen.

"Oh my proverbial ding, dang gosh!"

Then Principal Huggins came in. "What is going on in here?" He then noticed the twins were dead silent. "Oh my gosh! The children!" Principal Huggins ran into the infirmary. "Oh man! If the superintendent finds out about this, I'm done for!"

Just then, the twins got up slowly from their beds with rainbow saliva oozing from their mouths. They tackled Huggins and he got the same reaction as them. And it didn't take long for the nurse to be infected too.

 _It was then when I knew what was really going on. The virus had taken over my older sisters and turned them into cheerful zombies. I'd honestly find this fascinating if I wasn't so terrified._

Lisa dashes out of the nurse's office as the zombies tried to catch her.

However, due to her short stature, she didn't seem to be going very fast.

"I can't outrun them! Confound you stubby legs!"

Then who should she run into, but her older gothic sister herself.

"Lisa, why don't you watch where you're going?" Lucy exclaims.

"Lucy! You're not happy!"

"No, but I am miffed. What's gotten you so rattled?"

"You won't believe it! First the twins, then the nurse, the principal, the virus! Mass zombification!"

"Lisa, I think your brain is getting too big for your little head."

Then out of the corner of the hallway, the zombies spotted the two loud sisters.

"You were saying," Lisa accuses.

"Okay, I believe you! Give me the details later!" Lucy carries Lisa on her back and headed into the principal's office.

 _As we ran for shelter, I told Lucy the whole story._

"And that's what happened! The entire school is cheerful zombies! And the world could be next!"

"I always dreamed that a zombie apocalypse would happen," Lucy said. "But never with ones so ecstatic."

"Now what do we do?"

"There's only one thing we can do. Accept our faithful demise." Lucy pulls out her phone and placed her earbuds into her ears.

But Lisa slaps the phone right out of her hands. "This is no time for laments!"

As the phone fell to the floor, it began playing the sad music that Lucy was playing earlier.

Then Huggins began approaching, but as he heard the music, he became sad and ran off, curing him of the virus.

"That's it! The music!" Lisa observes. "The music is the cure!"

"Even if we could get them to listen to it," thought Lucy, "how are we supposed to make it loud enough for them to hear?"

Lisa thought up a plan. "The PA system! It's our only chance!"

* * *

In the hallway, all the classmates were infected by the virus.

"There's no other way, Lucy," Lisa explains. "Although currently infected by a contagious virus, they're still our friends and siblings."

"Then how do we get passed them?" Lucy argues.

"This is how." Lisa changes the expression on her face, into her signature creepy smile. "Now you do it."

However, Lucy's smile was more casual.

"Good enough."

The two Loud sisters head down the hallway trying to blend in.

"I don't know if I like that smile," Lucy said noticing Lisa's expression.

"What do you mean by that?" Lisa accused.

"I mean the only time you smile like that is when you're up to something sneaky."

"Like what?"

"Like when you lie about not doing any dangerous experiments on us, when in reality, you do it anyway. And you get surprised when I'm smiling."

"Do I need to bring up that lie-detector incident again?"

"I'd rather you didn't."

"And why shouldn't I? That wouldn't have happened if you had just told the truth to each other in the first place."

"Well there is such a thing as telling the truth to be mean! Besides, you lie all the time!"

"I DO NOT!"

Lisa's sudden outburst caught the zombies' attention.

"Dang it."

Then the two sisters ran off as the zombies chased after them.

"Run Lucy! Run!"

"I am running!"

Finally, they both ran inside the PA office and barricaded the door. Lisa places Lucy's phone next to the intercom and presses the play button.

"Come on! Come on!"

The video took a while, but finally managed to play.

"Yes!"

But standing right behind her were the two zombified twins who started it all.

"You've got to be kidding me.

Then quick as a flash, the twins tackled Lisa as the rest of the zombies burst through the door. It seemed as though there was no more hope. And everything went dark and blurry.

* * *

 ** _Epilogue:_**

 _Tuesday_

 _7:00 am_

the next morning, the twins each woke up from their bed, holding their heads in pain.

"Ugh! My head!" Lana groaned. "What happened?"

"I don't know," Lola answered. "But I just had the strangest dream. You were there, and Lisa, and the two of us couldn't stop being happy."

"Yeah. I felt that too. Eh, at least it was just a dream. It stinks that we still have to go to school today, though."

"Aw don't worry. It's only Tuesday. And Tuesday's are better than Mondays."

"You got that right sis."

The twins then got out of their room to start the day.

As she observes, Lisa made one last documentation recording.

 _Status update: my two sisters Lola and Lana, as well as the rest of my siblings and colleagues have been cured of this infectious virus. Despite not remembering much of the incident, I have discovered that Lucy's overdramatic tastes in melancholy music has saved the day._

 _Final analysis: happiness is a natural emotional feeling. But all emotions must be kept in balance._

 _In conclusion, our siblings, as well as our resident friends and neighbors have officially been cured of the virus. Mental note: issue a ban on a so-called wonder hug in the Loud House. On a side note, never speak of this again._

 _End transmission._

* * *

 **And there's yet another request.**

 **And yes, I decided to give this one my own epilogue instead of leaving it ona cliffhanger ending. I just think it's better and more fun that way.**

 **Now as I said before, these next few chapters are going to be my own non-requested ideas. Just for the fun of it.**

 **And don't worry, I'll try to do other requests when I can, but it'll depend**

 **So until next time, stay tuned**


	70. Indestruti-Loud

**Now before I begin with this story, I would like to point something out.**

 **Since my previous chapter _Future Fright_ , I've been wanting to do more stories based on episodes of _My Life as a Teenage Robot_. However, there's a bit of a catch. Considering that _My Life as a Teenage Robot_ is about a robot girl superhero protecting the earth and _The Loud House_ is basically a slice of life cartoon, it was proven to be pretty difficult. But luckily, I was able to find a few episodes that I could interpret. However, they would be the episodes that don't involve super villains or aliens attacking the earth. It might not seem like much, but hey, sometimes you gotta take what you can get.**

 **So for this story, I have chosen the episode _Indes-Tuck-tible_**

 **Enjoy**

* * *

Just like any other morning, Lana was in the dining room having breakfast. She took out a box of cereal and poured it into her bowl. Then a skateboard fell into her bowl.

"Wow! A free skateboard! Cereal swag just keeps getting better and better!"

Then she looked on the back of the cereal box. "What's this? Skateboard champion doing a danger defying stunt over a giant bowl of cereal? So if _I_ eat this cereal like a skateboard champion, then I can do amazing danger defying jumps too! In your face danger! Woo-hoo!"

* * *

Out in the front yard, Lana took the skateboard out for a joyride, when she happened to zip straight by her sisters Lynn and her brother Lincoln.

Lynn grabs Lana by the overall strap. "Whoa Lans! Be careful!"

Lana shrugs. "My naive sister. Caution is for the weak. A self-imposed limitation to keep the truly extreme from rocking the world. Now if you two senior citizens will excuse me, I have some adrenaline to rush. To the extreme!"

"Now hold on….LANA! LOOK OUT!"

Lynn and Lincoln saw that Lana was still on her skateboard, but was about to get hit by a truck. The truck driver and Lana both saw each other, but couldn't stop in time. Luckily though, Lana was rescued by her big sister Lynn.

"Lana! Are you okay?" Lynn asked.

Lana was so scared that she screamed so loud. Her scream was so long that it lasted until the sun went down.

"That was awful! I saw my whole life flash before my eyes! My birth! My potty training! Getting a skateboard in my cereal. The truck!" Lana began to scream again, but Lincoln covered her mouth.

Lincoln picks her up. "Okay! We get it! You were scared."

"Scared? I was _beyond_ scared! This world is a danger-fraught den of danger!"

"Well if you do stupid irresponsible things."

"Sure, blame the victim. Oh, the terror! I'm never gonna cross the street again, or leave the house, or my bed!"

"Isn't that a bit extreme?" Lynn asked.

But Lynn's mention of that word made her even more scared. "I never wanna hear the word 'extreme' again! Take me home! Where it's safe!"

Lana clings onto her brother. "Don't worry Lynn. I'll see to it that our brave little soldier gets tucked in."

* * *

The next morning, Lincoln and Lynn went by the twins room to see how their little tomboy was doing.

Lola opens the door.

"Hey Lola," Lincoln greeted. "Is Lana back to normal yet?"

Lola rolls her eyes. "With Lana, _normal_ is a relative term."

She opened the door to reveal Lana boarding up her window with pillows tied to herself.

She turned around in shock. "Close the door! You're letting in natural light! You want me to sunburn to death?" But as soon as Lana closed the door, she immediately got scared again. "AHHH! Darkness!"

"Lana's afraid of the dark now?" Lincoln questioned.

Lola listed everything on her fingers. "Afraid of the dark, afraid of the light, afraid of switches, afraid of her own shadow, afraid of dogs, afraid of cats, afraid of heights, afraid of widths. Heck, she's afraid of everything but _air_."

Lana came to them with a gas mask on her face. "Scoff all you want! I'll dance on your grave!"

"Lana, I think all this seclusion is making you loopy," Lincoln says.

"Yeah," Lynn agrees. "Why don't you come outside with us and…?"

"Outside?" Lana shouts. "Are you mad sister?! The outside world is a horrifying death trap of pain!" Lana then tried to shoo everyone out with a broom. "Now get out! Before you give me some awful disease!"

"Lana, this is crazy," Lincoln said.

"No! _You're_ crazy!" Lana shut the door and boarded up her room.

"So wanna get lunch?" Lola offers.

"Lola!" Lynn scolds. "We have to help Lana!"

"I don't know," Lola shrugged. "I kinda like her better this way. Keeps her out of my hair."

"Well _I'm_ gonna help her."

"How you gonna do that?" Lincoln asks.

"Leave it to me little bro. I think I know how to snap her out of this."

* * *

Back in the room, Lana was holding baseball bats in each hand surrounded by pillows.

"Must stay alert! Must stay safe! Gonna need more pillows! But even the pillows are against me!"

Lynn came in through the door. "Okay Lans! This is an intervention!" Lynn picks up her little sister.

"I don't wanna be intervened!" Lana protests. "Let me go!"

"I just wanna show you something. I'm gonna prove to you that all this caution is unnecessary."

"You'll be my doom! Now put me down!"

"Hey sis. You remember Lisa's future visor, don't you?" Lynn put the visor over Lana's eyes. "Take a peek at the future."

Lana saw an 86-year-old woman who looked just like her (including her signature overalls and red hat). "Who's the old person?"

"That's you," Lynn answered. "80 years from now."

The vision showed old Lana scolding two kids in the front yard while sitting in her rocking chair. " _You young whipper snappers are making my bunions burn with your tomfoolery! Now get!"_

Lana took off the visor. "Okay, so I'm a cranky old lady. What's your point?"

"Lana, you're gonna live a _long_ life!" Lynn responded. "You have nothing to fear!"

Lana perks up a bit. "Oh! I'm gonna be fine!"

"Yep!"

"I don't need to live in fear!"

"Nope."

"My future is secure!"

"Sure is."

"I can't be harmed!"

"Uh…"

"I'm invulnerable!" Lana ran out of her room and into the front yard. She inhaled deeply. "I must've inhaled a zillion germs and I didn't get the plague!"

Then while Lola was lounging in a small pool, Lana took a bite out of her sandwich and jumped in, despite the pool being only ankle deep. "Wow! No cramps!"

Then finally, she took out a bag of pop rocks and a can of soda, pouring both of them into her mouth at the same time. "No intestinal explosions! I did it all and survived!"

"Well, she's _sort of_ back to normal," Lynn observes. "I guess it's better than being all paranoid and….WHAT THE HECK?!"

Lynn spotted Lana attempting to drop an anvil on her head and shoved her out of the way before it could hit her, making a big whole in front of the house.

Lincoln came out through the front door. "What's going on here?" Then suddenly, he fell right into it.

"Lana!" Lynn scolds. "That was very dangerous!"

"I'm okay aren't I?" Lana shrugs. "I'm destined to live another 8 decades, right?"

"Where did you even get an anvil?" Lincoln asked climbing out of the hole.

Somewhere elsewhere, a blacksmith was working on a horseshoe, but noticed his anvil was gone.

Back with the Louds, Lynn was still scolding Lana. "What makes you think you can get away with a stunt like that?"

"I'm invulnerable," Lana said. "Duh."

"You are _not_ invulnerable!"

Lincoln rolls his eyes. "If you're so invulnerable, why don't you go lay in front of a steam roller?"

"Great idea!" Lana ran off.

"She's not _really_ gonna do that, is she?" Lynn asked.

"Well this is _Lana_ we're talking about," Lincoln answered.

"Uh oh!"

Lynn dashes over to a construction site where Lana was literally lying in front of a steamroller. Luckily, Lynn was able to get her out of the way before it could crush her. The only thing that did get flattened was Lana's hat.

"Now listen up!" Lynn ordered. "You better not do anything pointlessly dangerous again!"

"Cool your jets Lynn," Lana assures. "I promise I'll never do anything pointlessly dangerous again. Okay?"

"Uh…...yeah. Okay. See that you don't!" Lynn was still unsure, but left anyway.

But right as she left, Lana got a mischievous idea. "After all, why would I do stuff that was _pointlessly_ dangerous, when I can do dangerous stuff for fame and glory! MWAHAHAHAHA!"

* * *

The next day at school, Lana was in her classroom making a speech.

"Gather around fellow classmates! I Lana Loud shall take any dare in exchange for lunch money, ice cream or preservative filled snacks!

"Will you eat a bug?" One classmate suggests.

"Pfft! Too easy. Think of something dangerous."

"Eat two bugs?"

Then just like that, her classmates made suggestions of their own.

"Pants the gym coach!"

"Roll around in poison ivy!"

"Stick gravel up your nose!"

"Eat three bugs!"

(Unsurprisingly, Lana probably would have done some of that stuff on a normal basis)

"People, people. You're obviously not getting it," Lana said. "So I'll give you one free demonstration." She then points to a brick wall. "Behold, yonder solid brick wall. Prepare to gasp in stunned amazement as I proceed to ram my head through it!"

Lana began dashing towards the wall, head first, while her classmates cheered. As soon as her head reaches the wall, a giant hole was left in it.

"Ta-da!"

However, the hole in the wall was actually caused by Lynn using on of Lisa's blasters. "Lana! You little maniac!"

The kids ran up to Lana and cheered for her. "Thank you! Thank you! Your adoration is well placed!"

Lynn dragged Lana out into the playground.

"Hey! What gives?" Lana protested. "You're interrupting my glory!"

"Glory? Sis, if I hadn't tracked down your dopey stunt with Lisa's dimwit tracker, you would've cracked your skull open like an egg!"

"But I _didn't_ , did I? I mean what's the big deal anyway. The whys and wherefores don't matter. The fact is I'm unharmable, and my public is eating it up like a Loud a la mode."

"Look, I have more important things to do than to chase after you all day! So knock it off! Get this straight: you are _NOT_ indestructible Lana!" Lynn storms off in a huff.

"Hmm…..she's right," Lana thought for a minute. "' _Indestructible Lana'_ is too wordy. So I'll be…... _Indestructi-Loud_!"

* * *

"For today's stunt, I shall become the human cannonball!"

While that was happening, Luan was at play rehearsal when the dimwit tracker went off.

She rushed over as quick as a flash an Lana went into the cannon. But Luan pulls it away, causing it to blow smoke in her face.

"The human wrecking ball!"

This time, Lisa was working on her experiments when her tracker was going off.

Somewhere downtown, Lana tied herself to a wrecking ball preparing to hit a building. But Lisa used a forklift to move it out of her way before she could hit it.

"The human basketball!"

Finally, the dimwit tracker was going off in Lynn's room. At first, she tried to ignore it, but she knew she couldn't let her little sister get pummeled.

This time, Lana was at a basketball game, with HER as the ball. Immediately, Lynn smacks her sister away just as she was thrown into the air. But then Lynn watched as Lana was still being held by one of the players, doing a slam dunk. Just as Lana fell through the hoop, Lynn immediately caught her.

"You traitor!"

* * *

Finally, the line was crossed. Lana, Lynn, Lola and Lincoln were at the top of a really steep ramp.

"You've pushed me too far Lana!" Lynn said. "If you pull off this stunt, I'm _not_ saving you!"

"And _I'll_ tell dad!" Lola says.

"Will you two relax?" Lana then spoke into a microphone. "Thrill seekers! This is the stunt you've all been waiting for! Mere moments from now, I shall endeavor to ride this rocket powered tricycle down this ramp, jumping over city hall which has been adorned with a tank full of man eating sharks! Let's do this thing!"

The crowd cheered as Lana climbed onto the trike.

"This is your _last_ chance to back out sis!" Lola said.

"Yeah!" Lincoln agrees. "Once you jump those sharks, the show's over!"

"If you go down that ramp, you're on your own!" Lynn finished.

But Lana still didn't seem worried. "Guys, guys. Once I flip this switch, I'll be rocketed into worldwide fame! This is my moment! Absolutely nothing could make it any sweeter!"

Then a ladybug landed on Lana's finger.

"Oh a ladybug. That's good luck. See guys? I….."

Then she felt a sting on her finger as it flew away.

"OW! It bit me!" Then she realized something. "Wait. It bit me. And it _hurt_. If a ladybug can hurt me, imagine what would happen if this stunt goes awry! The ramp! The jump! The sharks! Get me off of this crazy thing!"

"Attagirl Lana!" Lynn cheers.

"What was I thinking? I just hope no one watching me ever tries to imitate my crazy stunt!"

"Most folks aren't that stupid Lana," Lincoln says.

"Now Lincoln, at least she came to her senses," said Lynn. "And I'm proud of you."

Lynn slaps Lana in the back causing her head to bump onto the start button. At first, the rockets didn't do anything, but after a few seconds, Lana rockets off the ramp and into the shark tank.

"We should probably go help Lana," Lynn said.

"Or at least what's left of her," Lincoln replies.

But thank goodness Lana was still alive. But she made a weak groan in pain.

* * *

Back at the Loud house, Lana was sitting on the front porch in a full body cast.

"So Lana?" Lynn asked. "Are you disappointed that your career as a daredevil is over."

"Nah," Lana shrugs. "I learned a valuable lesson about using good old fashioned common sense. Besides, I think the future visor was pretty clear on my destiny."

Just like in her vision, Lana was scolding two kids in the front yard while sitting in her rocking chair. "You young whipper snappers are making my bunions burn with your tomfoolery! Now get!"


	71. Candy time

**Based on the _Jimmy Neutron_ episode _Krunch Time_**

* * *

Leni is in Lisa's room helping her with an experiment. In which there were two doors. One with a piece of cheese behind it, and one with electric cables on the knob. Leni didn't know which one to choose.

"Come on Leni," Lisa observes. "You've done this 76 times. Now which one has the cheese behind it?"

"Can I have a hint?" Leni asked.

"No Leni. This is a memory experiment. Now remember, you want the cheese."

"I want the cheese," repeated Leni to herself. "Okay. Eenie….meenie….miny…." However, Leni chose the wrong door, which gave her a really big shock.

Then Lana ran up. "OOH! OHH! My turn! I wanna touch the shocky door again!"

"Please don't Lana," Lynn encourages. "Hey Lisa? Maybe we should just take a break."

"Yeah," Lincoln agrees. "No offense, but this is _not_ one of my favorite experiments. The shock makes my turkey tail stand up weird."

"I'll say. The test was certainly _shocking_ as it was _hair-raising,_ " Luan laughed before groaning in pain. "But seriously, it was also painful."

"I suppose we could put the test on hiatus," Lisa sighs.

"Why don't we all go out and get a snack?" Lincoln suggests.

"Sounds good," Lori complies.

Lola crosses her arms. "As long as I don't have to touch anymore doorknobs, I'll try anything."

The kids all started to leave. But Lana stays behind for a few seconds, just so she could feel the shock of the doorknob.

* * *

The kids were all at Flip's Food n Fuel looking for a snack. But are also having a hard time making up their minds.

"Do I want something gummy or crunchy?" Lana wonders.

"I suppose I could go for something spicy," Lynn thought. "Nah, even that's not spicy enough for my tastes."

"I'm so hungry, I could eat a crate of lemons," Lola said. "But I'd rather have something really sweet and tasty."

"I think I want sour. No! Wait! I want salty! No!" Leni had the hardest time making up her mind. "Oh I don't know which one to choose!"

"Oh the suspense is killing me," Flip groaned. "Pick a candy and let me get on with my life!"

"You know?" Luna asked. "I wish there was a candy that had all the best flavors."

"Yeah!" Lana agrees. "And it would be sweet, savory, salty, sour, creamy, and chocolatey. But not bitter. That tastes icky."

"A mega-candy," Lisa thought. "I could invent that. To the lab!"

The girls followed Lisa out of the store. But Lincoln stays behind for a few seconds.

"I'll be there in a sec guys." Lincoln went back and got himself a flippy. "What? You didn't expect me to leave empty handed, did you?"

Lincoln then joined the rest of his sisters.

"Yeah, yeah. Go ahead. Make your fancy schmancy candy. You'll be back. They all come back." As soon as the Louds left, Flip hung his head on the counter. "Oh I hope they come back."

* * *

Back at the Loud house, Lisa began experimenting with many different flavors.

"No one's ever managed to create a candy that maximizes the use of every one of the tongue's pleasure receptors. Until today."

Then Lana grabs a beaker and prepared to drink it.

"Don't Lana! That's concentrated essence of sour!"

"Don't worry Lisa. They haven't invented a sour that's _too_ sour for Lana Loud." Lana drank it up, but then her face puckered up in an instant. "I stand corrected."

The first batch began and the Loud siblings tasted it. But they immediately spit it out.

The next batch tasted better, but it also made them grow mustaches and beards.

Finally the last batch ended up literally blowing up in their mouths.

"Okay Lisa," Lola says. "I didn't wanna say that was the worst thing I ever tasted in my life, but that was the worst thing I ever tasted in my life. Okay, there I said it."

"Yeah, that batch was an _explosion_ of flavor," Luan jokes. "But seriously, when something _actually_ explodes in your mouth, you _know_ something's wrong."

"Well no need to worry," Lisa assures. "I'm not quitting. I'm gonna keep at it if it takes all night."

The rest of her siblings looked worried.

"Oh geez, would you look at the time? I have to go to this big, exciting thing, so I guess I'll see you later." Lana dashes off.

"Y-yeah," Lincoln agrees as he began sneaking off. "And _AARGH!_ is coming on in two hours, which gives me just enough time to get into my costume. See you Lisa! Bye!"

And just like that, the rest of the girls rushed out the door.

All throughout that night, Lisa continues her work. But she just couldn't seem to find the right taste. She tried so many times, she was getting pretty sleepy.

"Just one more try…"

Finally, she created one last batch. Then she placed her head on her desk and fell asleep.

* * *

The next morning, their mother called from the bottom of the stairs. "Kids! Wake up! Time for school!"

But Lisa was still napping just as her siblings came into her room.

"Lisa?" Lana tried poking her, but it just didn't work. "Lisa, time to get up."

"I don't think she can hear you sis," Lincoln says as he felt Lisa's pulse. "She's definitely out cold."

"I know what'll wake her up." Luna ran out and came back with an air horn. She presses the button while everyone covered their ears.

But on the plus side, Lisa immediately woke up. "What happened?!"

"You stayed up too late again," Lucy answers.

"Yeah, you've gotta stop doing that," Lincoln agrees. "You're still four years old and you need your sleep."

"I'll keep that in mind elder brother."

"Well anyway, you better get dressed for school," Lori states. "Or else mom and dad are gonna have a fit."

"Very well."

As her siblings left, Lisa places her homemade candy into a paper bag.

"Hope this batch is a good one."

* * *

Later on at school, Lisa kept falling asleep in class.

Her friend Darcy woke her up. "Are you okay Lisa?" She asked. "You look kinda tired."

"My apologies Darcy. I've been up all night working on a little something."

"Who's making that noise?" Lisa's teacher exclaimed. "It sounds like candy inside a paper bag." She then made her to the table Lisa was sitting at. "Lisa. I hope you brought enough treats for the entire class."

"Well not exactly Ms Shrinivas."

But then, all the kids began crowding around the table. They each took a piece and tasted it. They all sighed with satisfaction, proving that they loved it.

"This is great Lisa!" Darcy said.

Lisa was curious to find out for herself, but her teacher took the last remaining piece.

"Don't mind if I do." Even Ms Shrinivas was delighted. "Lisa, you were born to make candy!"

Lisa smiles proudly.

* * *

Back home, Lisa was working on another batch.

"Batch number two is on its way."

Then Lincoln came into the room. "Lisa?"

As soon as Lincoln came in, Lisa hid the stash in a bag. "What can I do you for Lincoln?"

"Lisa, it's 10 o'clock. Shouldn't you be in bed by now?"

"I was working on an important experiment."

"Mom and dad said you need to go to sleep or you're grounded. And don't even think about using one of your androids to fool anyone like you did the last time."

Lisa sighs. "Yes dear brother."

"Good. Now goodnight sis," Lincoln says as he left.

"Boy, big brothers are smart. I suppose I could use some sleep."

* * *

That night, Lisa was sleeping in her bed. When she got the feeling that she was being watched. She opened her eyes and saw that the twins were standing by her bed, staring at her.

"Lola? Lana? What are you doing doing here? It's two o'clock in the morning."

"Oh you know," Lana shrugs. "We just came to greet our favorite little sister."

"Yeah," Lola shivers. "You got any c-c-candy?"

"I'm making some now," Lisa explains. "But I told you it takes a while. You have to neutralize the sugar and pectin during the gestation period and…"

"HOW LONG WILL THAT TAKE!?" Lola shrieks.

Now Lisa was getting scared. "About 3 hours!"

Lana opens the bedroom door and shouted. "Three hours!"

"Who are you talking to?"

Lana opens the door wider revealing the rest of their sisters.

"You expect me to make another batch for you and the rest of our sibling units?"

"No," Lola protests. "There's some kids from school who want some too."

"Wait! What?!" Lisa looks outside her window to see a lot of the kids from the school outside the front yard.

"I'll give every CD in my collection," Tabby pleads, "if you give me more candy!"

"I'll sign an exclusive binding contract to never bully you again!" Said Hawk.

Lastly was David. "I'll proclaim your intellectual superiority in the public form of your choosing!"

Then Lisa turns around and saw the twins both begging like dogs wanting a treat.

"Want me to roll over?" Lana pants.

"Hmmm. The candy is so perfect, it seems to have created a physiological need in people." Then the young genius got a sneaky idea. "Let the exploitation begin."

* * *

So over the next few days, Lisa began making everyone her personal servant in exchange for candy.

All seemed to be going well…..until the end of school.

"Only one last piece for today. Who wants it?"

Lisa threw the last piece into the air as Lola and Lana began fighting over it like a couple of wild dogs.

Then soon enough, everyone else kept on begging for more, in a zombie like way.

"Uh…..th-that's all I brought. No more until….….tomorrow!"

Lisa ran all the way to her house and shut the front door. "Mother! Father! I think we have a situation!"

"ITS MINE!"

"I saw it first!"

Lisa saw both her parents fighting over something.

"Oh hi sweetie," the father greets. "We're not doing anything unusual. Just normal mommy and daddy stuff."

"Quit beating around the bush!" Rita snaps. "We want candy now!"

"Oh no! Not you too!" Lisa rushed upstairs and into her brother's room and hid under the bed.

Lincoln however was on top of the bed. "Hiding from someone, Lisa?"

"No. I'm doing a crossword. Three letters: asks stupid questions. Oh I know, YOU!"

"Sheesh! No need to get feisty about it."

"Sorry Lincoln. I'm just under a lot of pressure. There's a mob of people begging me for more candy!"

"What candy?"

Lisa became confused as she came out from under the bed. "Wait! You mean you haven't tried it yet?"

"No. Is it any good?"

"Here, you decide." Lisa took out a piece from her pocket and handed it to her brother.

Lincoln tasted the candy. "Eh, I've had better."

"Please don't hurt me! I don't….." Lisa then realized what her brother said. "Say what now?"

"I said I've had better."

"Wait! You mean you don't like it?"

"It's not that I don't _like_ it. It's good, I just don't know if I would say this is my _favorite_. I can be pretty indecisive sometimes."

"Fascinating. But I'll worry about that later. You gotta help me Lincoln! Everyone else has gone crazy!"

" _How_ crazy would you say?"

"As crazy as a simian primate in a banana batch at a farmers market."

"Whoa! That is crazy. I've heard candy can be addictive, but never this much."

Lisa grabbed hold of Lincoln's shirt tightly. "I need your help Lincoln! They won't leave me alone!"

"Okay! Okay! Take it easy! I'll help. But first, please take your hand off my shirt."

Lisa does so as Lincoln tried getting the wrinkles out of his shirt.

"Dang it! I just had this ironed. So where's the rest of your stash?"

Down in the basement, Lincoln and Lisa were throwing the remaining stash into the furnace.

"There. That's the last of it," Lisa declares. "Goodbye and good riddance."

* * *

Afterwards, the duo went around the neighborhood.

Lisa made an announcement through a megaphone. "Attention everyone! There is no more candy! And I will not be making any more! Thank you!"

Finally, they arrived back at the Loud house.

"Well that about takes care of that," Lincoln says.

"Yep," Lisa confirms. "No more candy, no more problems."

"What are they gonna do? Riot?"

Just then, they stumbled upon an angry mob who were (as you guessed) starting a riot. They all held up signs and chanted 'down with Lisa'.

"I can't believe I'm saying that about my own daughter," Lynn Sr. thought. "But that candy is just too darn good."

"Don't talk!" Rita demands. "Chant!"

"People! Listen to me!" Lisa interjected. "It's just candy!"

"I say we hold her down and force her to make us more candy!" Lola suggests.

Lana pulls out her lasso. "Already ahead of you."

"Good idea," their father exclaimed. "Go for her tiny legs!"

The crowd began gathering up against the two.

Then Lincoln got an idea. "Hey Lisa? Remember that wing pack you let me borrow?"

"You mean you still have it?"

Lincoln pulls the string activating the wings. "Hop on sis!" Lisa climbed on his back and the two soared off into the sky.

"We won't lose them for long. Gotta find the most deserted place in town."

"In that case, I know just the place."

The two Louds landed in front of Flip's Food n Fuel and went inside.

"Well look who's here," Flip said. "It's little miss I'm-gonna-invent-the-best-candy-in-the-world-and-put-this-place-out-of-business!"

"Aw Flip. I didn't mean to," Lisa apologizes. "I had no idea my candy would be _that_ popular."

"Ha! Like I haven't heard that before. Anyway you two better skedaddle. That angry mob is gonna be here any minute."

"How do you know that?" Lincoln asked.

"I called them. What do you expect? I'm going broke here!" Then they all heard chanting coming from outside. "Uh-oh! Rhythmic chanting. That's a bad sign."

"Oh dear!" Lisa panicked. "What am I gonna do?"

"You know Lisa," Lincoln says. "Not trying to sound like Luan, but this is more shocking than your memory experiment."

"Shocking! That's it! Lincoln, you're a genius!"

"What do you mean?"

"Laboratory mice can be trained to avoid actions which cause them pain! Lincoln, Flip, keep everyone here! Our problems are solved."

Both Lincoln and Flip head out the door.

"Alright everyone," Lincoln says. "Settle down. Lisa will be right back."

"Yeah," Flip said. "In the meantime, let's all have a nice chat with my good friend Mr Whiskers."

Flip held out a puppet of a rabbit. "Hello mates. Settle down."

However, the crowd, including Lincoln, was less than amused.

"Why do I even bother?" Lincoln groaned.

Then Lisa flew in with a wing pack of her own. "I've heard your pleas. I give you an endless supply of the greatest candy in the world!"

Lisa empties out a bag she was carrying and out falls what appears to be the candy. Everyone grabs a piece and placed it in their mouths.

Lisa landed down next to her brother.

"Lisa, what are you doing?" Lincoln asked. "How is this supposed to get rid of our problem?"

"Wait for it."

Within just a few seconds, everyone who was eating the candy began to feel an electric shock in their mouths.

"Oh, now I see," Lincoln observes. "You're as sly as a fox Lisa Loud."

"I knew I'd find use for that edible shock ray someday. It shouldn't be much longer before they're all sick of this stuff."

And indeed, it wasn't long at all.

* * *

The next day at school, everything seems to be going normal.

Lucy and Lola came up.

"Hey Lisa," Lola greeted. "You know all the garbage cans in town are filled with your candy?"

"I know," Lisa answers. "Isn't it great?"

"Well, it looks like everyone in Royal Woods is back to normal," Lincoln said.

Then Lana came by. "Hey Lisa. That last batch was delicious."

 _ZAP!_ Lana began feeling a shock.

"Also incredibly painful."

 _ZAP!_

"Does anyone else smell smoke?"

 _ZAP!_

"I can't feel my face."

 _ZAP!_

"How come everything looks blue?"

 _ZAP!_


	72. Short: Cowgirls

**Hey everyone. In case you're wondering, yes I'm still working on this story. It's just sometimes I need a break every now and then. But just so you guys have something to read in the meantime, I present this short chapter. This short is inspired by a _Chowder_ segment presented at the end credits.**

* * *

In the twins room, Lola and Lana were horsing around (no pun intended) in their cowgirl outfits.

"I can't wait to go to the rodeo!" Lana said excitedly.

"Neither can I," Lola exclaims. "But you gotta remember. Being a cowgirl is a big girl's job."

"Big girl job!" Lana repeats.

"We cowgirls take our jobs very seriously."

"Very seriously!"

"It's very important that we get it just right."

"Get it just right!"

"Okay for real Lans. Being a cowgirl is very serious."

"How come you know so much about being a cowgirl?"

"Don't you remember? I was in the little miss cowgirl pageant 2 years ago."

"Oh right."

"Now, if we're gonna be the stars in the rodeo, we must think like a cowgirl, act like a cowgirl."

"Smell like a cowgirl."

"No we don't have to….."

"Sing like a cowgirl."

"Sing like a….?"

"Go scuba diving like a cowgirl."

"Knock it off!"

"Knock it off like a cowgirl!"

Lola just groaned as she slowly shook her head. Then she took a glance at the audience. "You don't know what you're missing…."

"If you aren't in the Loud House," Lana finished.


	73. Terror Lion

**Here's a guest suggestion**

 **Based on _Regular Show's Death Bear_**

* * *

"Movie night!"

Indeed. It was movie night at the Loud house. Lori and Lincoln were choosing a movie and their friends Bobby and Ronnie Anne came over.

Lincoln dumps out a box of movies onto the floor. "Alright, let's see what we got."

Lori chose one. "Hey, _Laughter by the Dozen_."

"Ugh, romantic comedy? Vetoed." Lincoln threw it away.

Then Ronnie Anne chose another. "What about this one? It looks creepy."

" _Creatures of the Night_? Nah, no scary stuff," Lori says. "Lincoln can't handle it."

"What?"

"Remember the time you went and saw _The Harvester_? You wouldn't go to sleep for a whole night."

"I wasn't that tired that night!" Lincoln argues.

"' _Oh no! The harvester's gonna get me!_ '"

Everyone laughed at Lori's imitation of her brother.

"You're the harvester," Lincoln mocks.

"Don't you guys have anything with adventure?" Bobby asked.

"Let's see." He and Lori began looking through the selection.

"Forget movies. We should go on a _real_ adventure," Lincoln suggests. "To the old abandoned Royal Woods zoo."

"Come on guys. It's movie night," Lori says. "We should just stay inside and relax on the couch."

"Lori's just afraid we'll run into Terror Lion."

"Terror Lion?" The Santiago's questioned.

"You guys have never heard of Terror Lion? Well gather around." Lincoln dimmed the lights. "The tale of Terror Lion is a tale as old as 10-15 years ago. He was a troubled lion who lived in the zoo, who was bad to the bone. One day, he went ballistic and had his trainer sent to the hospital. The zoo was forced to close down. But Terror Lion wouldn't leave. So he still roams the old abandoned zoo, growing more evil over the years. Only able to survive by breaking into people's houses, eating all their food, and then eating them."

"Woah!"

Lori scoffs. "Lame. Lincoln, you literally need to stop listening to Lucy's stories. Besides, Terror Lion's just a dumb urban legend. Come on, story time's over. Let's get this movie started." Lori moves over to the sofa. "Ah, semi-burnt popcorn. Saved a seat for you right here Boo-Boo Bear."

"See I told you," Lincoln points. "Scared of the Terror Lion."

"What? Terror Lion isn't even real! You know I'm not scared, right Bobby?"

"Babe, it's okay," Bobby assures. "If you're scared to go I mean. It does sound pretty scary."

"What? No! It's just….it's supposed to be movie night."

"Excuses, excuses," Lincoln accuses. "If you're really not scared, then I dare you to take a picture inside the lion's den."

"No, little bro. That's dumb."

"Come on babe," Bobby begs. "It'll be an adventure."

"Yeah," Ronnie Anne agrees. "And all desolate and spooky."

"Nini! We're trying to make her not scared."

"I AM NOT SCARED!" Lori shouts.

But everyone else didn't seem convinced.

Finally, Lori gave in. "Okay fine. Let's go to the abandoned zoo and take a picture in the dumb lions den."

"Yeah, alright!" Ronnie Anne cheers. "This is gonna be fun!"

"I'll go get the camera!" Lincoln ran upstairs to do so.

"We'll watch a movie another night babe," Bobby assures Lori. "I promise."

"We'd better."

"Don't be such a pouter."

Lincoln finally came down with the camera. "Oh yeah! Terror Lion!"

* * *

The kids all arrived at the abandoned zoo.

"There it is!" Lincoln points.

"Neat!" Ronnie Anne ran up to one of the lion statues. "Check it out! I'm a lion tamer! Down Simba!"

"Hey guys? Might wanna take a look at this." Bobby points to the gate, showing that it was locked.

"Oh well," Lori shrugs. "Looks like it was never meant to be. But on the bright side, we still have time for movie night. What do you say we go back home and…?"

Then Lincoln spotted a hole in the wall. "Hey guys! Look!"

"Cool! Way to go lame-o!"

"You coming Lori?" Bobby asked.

"Yeah Lori. You coming?" Lincoln asked mockingly.

Lori groaned. "You're literally enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Maybe."

They all went through the hole and began exploring the zoo.

"It feels weird going to a zoo without any animals," Ronnie Anne said.

"I know," her brother agrees. "It feels like the end of the world or something."

"You're not scared, are you?"

"What? Of course not!"

"Do you really think Terror Lion's real?" Ronnie Anne asked Lincoln.

"Heck yeah! He's probably waiting for us on the other side."

"No he's not bro," Lori sighs. "There's no one here."

The a squirrel jumped out of a tank, surprising Lori.

"Maybe I should take the lead," Lincoln taunted. "There might be more squirrels up ahead."

Lincoln and Ronnie Anne ran ahead, leaving their older siblings behind.

Bobby was helping Lori back up. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Lori assures.

"You sure you can handle Terror Lion? That squirrel was pretty scary back there."

"I wasn't scared. I was just surprised. There's a difference, you know."

"Sure there is."

"I wasn't scared."

"You looked pretty scared to me."

"Well….I actually did come here with my younger sisters when we were little. The only thing I didn't like was the lion."

"Ah, so you are scared of Terror Lion."

"Yeah, when I was little. It was just a regular lion, you know."

"No worries babe, I totally understand. I used to come here when my sister was a baby."

"Were you scared of lions too?"

"Lions and tigers and bears."

"Oh my."

The two began chuckling. Then Bobby spotted a miniature broken down train. "Oh no way! I totally remember this! This was my favorite part about coming to the zoo. I loved riding this train. The conductor would yell ' _all aboard_ ', and I would rush up to get a good seat."

Bobby got into one of the carts and Lori took a seat next to him. "Kinda small."

"I can get out."

"No, I don't mind. It's cozy. So where are we going?"

Bobby began imitating an eccentric billionaire with his wife. " _Conductor, take us somewhere exotic please. And mind the bumps. My lady does not like getting ill. Thank you_."

The two laugh for a bit before they heard Lincoln. "Hey guys! Over here! We found some more train tracks!"

The gang was following a trail of train tracks that led right to a dark tunnel.

"Cool. Everyone, scream through the tunnel." Ronnie Anne did so as Lincoln followed.

Bobby stepped to the side. "After you."

Lori rolls her eyes. "Oh what a gentleman." Then she ran through the tunnel screaming. But she realized that Bobby didn't follow. "Wait! Where's Bobby? Bobby! Hello!"

Then Bobby took her by surprise by jumping out of a bush, making her scream. "Gotcha babe."

"What are you doing?"

"I went around back."

"Well don't do that!"

"What? It's funny!"

* * *

The gang followed the train tracks up to a point where they were broken up and bent, meaning it was a dead end.

"Now which way do we go?" Bobby asked.

Then Ronnie Anne spotted something. "Guys! Look!"

"Whoa! That's a pretty big footprint!"

"It's bigger than big. It's gigantic."

"It's bigger than gigantic. It's enormous."

"It's bigger than enormous," Lincoln concludes. "It's humongous."

Lori rolls her eyes again. "Come on guys. It's just a hole in the dirt."

"No, it's definitely Terror Lion. Come on!"

Lincoln leads the others to a lion's den, where there was a huge hole in the cage, just like the one they saw before.

"Looks like we're here," Ronnie Anne claims.

"Great! Finally!" Lori sighs with relief. "Let's just take the picture and get out of here."

"Oh no!" Lincoln said wagging his finger. "This is just the entrance. Anyone can take a picture in here. We're going inside the den."

"No way bro. We're not going in there."

"Why? I thought you weren't scared." Lincoln ran ahead into the den.

"You coming babe?"

Lori groaned as she followed Bobby and Ronnie Anne inside to look for her brother.

"Lincoln! Where are you?"

"Not that I'm scared or anything," Ronnie Anne bluffs. "But it feels like we shouldn't be in here."

"Little Loud!" Bobby called. "Come on out!"

Lincoln's voice came out in a distance. "I'm not stopping until I find Terror Lion!"

"Bro, quit messing around!" Lori warns. "You know what? Forget it! We're heading back!"

The trio began heading back until they heard a familiar scream.

"LINCOLN!"

They all ran to the end of the den, in hopes of finding Lincoln.

"Lincoln!?"

"Little bro?!"

"Lame-o!?"

Then Lincoln pops out from behind a rock, surprising them. Then he began laughing hysterically. "Oh man! I gotcha guys good! You should've seen your faces!"

"What the heck twerp?!" Lori scolded.

"You almost gave us heart attacks!" Bobby accuses.

"We thought Terror Lion got you!" Ronnie Anne shouts.

"Terror Lion's not real. It's just a myth. You guys totally fell for it!"

Lori groaned. "Whatever. Can we literally go back to the house now?"

"Sure, sure." Lincoln stopped laughing and took out the camera. "But let's take the picture first."

Lincoln placed the camera on a flat rock while everyone got in position.

Ronnie Anne noticed the giant metal door behind her. "Hey, what's this door for?"

"I don't know," Lincoln shrugs. "I'm not a zookeeper."

The camera took the picture.

"You gotta admit Lori. I sure got you good."

"Yeah, yeah," Lori sighs. "I guess Luan's not the only one who can do pranks."

"Well you kinda got me good lame-o," Ronnie Anne admits.

"Yeah. Like Terror Lion's gonna be living down here." Lincoln knocks on the door. "Hello? Terror Lion? Are you home?"

Then Ronnie Anne tried knocking. "The pizza you ordered is here," she laughed.

Meanwhile, Bobby was talking with Lori. "You were holding me pretty tight for someone who's not scared."

"No way. You were literally holding onto me," Lori chuckles.

Lincoln was waving the photograph. "Aw dang it. These things take forever to show up."

"Actually you're not supposed to shake it," Ronnie Anne said.

Then Lincoln shows her the camera. "By the way, you know what this piece does?"

"Yeah, see? You just turn it. Like this."

But as soon as she turned the lens, the door behind them began to open slowly.

Bobby and Lori were still chatting. "So you still wish we were back home watching a movie?"

"No," Lori says. "I mean I got to have fun with you and that's all that matters."

"Yeah." But then Bobby noticed that something was going on. "Lori?"

"Yeah?"

"What's that?!"

"Huh?"

Lori turns around and sees that the metal door was opening behind their little siblings, and an angry lion came out. Then in one instance, the lion began charging after them as they ran.

"Oh my gosh!" Lincoln screams. "Terror Lion's real!"

"Oh man! I'm gonna turn you into a human pretzel for this Lincoln!" Lori threatens.

"I think Terror Lion's gonna take care of that!" Ronnie Anne answered.

"Quit it!" Bobby said. "Don't say that!"

They all kept running until they reached the Loud house, where they all shut the door from the inside.

At the same time, they noticed all the other sisters were proceeding with movie night.

"Dudes, where have you been?" Luna asked. "We just started movie night without you."

"No time!" Lincoln warned. "We're being chased by a lion!"

Lana got excited and curious. "Oh! Is it a cute and cuddly lion or a mean one?"

Then they heard a banging on the door while Ronnie, Bobby, Lori and Lincoln were trying to hold it shut.

"I'm gonna go with mean," Lola guesses.

"Quick! Everyone!" Lori ordered. "Barricade the door!"

"I'll call animal control!" Ronnie Anne said as she ran to the phone.

Soon everyone grabbed whatever they could find and held it against the door, preventing the lion from opening it.

"Terror Lion," Lucy exclaims monotonously. "I knew this day would come."

"What?" Lincoln was shocked. "That story was the truth? I thought you were just kidding around?"

"Lincoln, when have I ever joked about the supernatural?"

"She's got a point Lincoln," Luan adds. "Joking around is my job. And right now, this is serious."

Suddenly it appears as though the barricade wasn't going to hold up. Terror Lion bashes through the door while everyone hid. Except for Ronnie Anne, who was too paralyzed with fear to move.

"Ronnie Anne!"

Lori couldn't bear the thought of seeing her boyfriend's little sister in danger. So she immediately leaps in just in time to save her.

"You get away from her, furball!" Lori said to the lion.

"Everyone! Upstairs!" Lincoln commanded.

Everyone ran up the stairs as Terror Lion began approaching them.

"Well, looks like our goose is cooked," Luan said. "And that lion sure looks hungry for geese."

Then Lana and Lisa got an idea.

"We know what to do!" Lana declares. "Hold him off until we get back!"

The two young sisters ran into their respective rooms.

"And just how are we supposed to hold off that?" Lola questioned.

"I know how!" Lynn ran into her room and took out her sports equipment. She began chucking them at Terror Lion as he came up the stairs, but even with that, Terror Lion showed no signs of stopping.

"That's not enough!" Lincoln said. "We need more ammo!"

"There's isn't any more. That was my whole closet."

Then Lana and Lisa came out of their rooms with a blow dart tube and a tranquilizer dart respectively.

"Lori! Catch!" Lana places the dart into the tube and tossed it to Lori.

"Your peashooter?" Lori questions. "Guys, this isn't enough!"

"Just trust us!"

Seeing that her sisters, brother and friends were in danger, Lori immediately blew the dart at Terror Lion making him fall to the ground, sound asleep.

* * *

Outside the Loud house, everyone watched as the lion was being hauled into the truck by animal control.

"Poor Terror Lion," Lana sighs. "Poor misunderstood creature."

"I wouldn't worry about him too much," Lucy explains. "These animal sanctuaries are like five star hotels."

"Well, at least he'll be living in luxury," Lola shrugged (feeling internally jealous).

"Come on dudes," Luna suggests. "We'd better get the place cleaned up."

The rest of the the girls went inside, leaving the four main heroes outside.

"Hey babe, thanks for saving us back there," Bobby praises. "That was really brave of you."

"Thanks Bobby," Lori responded. "To be honest, I was a little scared."

"I know. But that's what made you brave. And you can't have bravery without fear."

"I guess you're right."

Then Ronnie Anne approaches. "Lori? Listen….. I just wanna thank you for….you know…...saving my life. Not that I was scared or anything….. but….."

Lori kneels down to her level. "Ronnie Anne, it's okay. Sometimes it can be hard to admit when you're afraid. But everyone gets scared, even tough girls like us."

Ronnie Anne smiles as the two hugged.

Then Lincoln came into the scene.

"You weren't exactly brave lame-o, but I still think you're pretty cool."

"Thanks," Lincoln said. "You too."

"Hey how'd that picture come out?" Bobby asked.

Lincoln shows them the photo, but the camera only captures their feet.

"Dang it, Lincoln!"


	74. There’s something about Rita

**And now here's a special request from mr.mhj0198**

 **What they've asked me was to do a Mother's Day story for the _Loud House_ Tales. However, there was a bit of a catch. The episode this story is based on comes from Disney's _The Proud Family_. The catch was that it's not exactly a show I'm familiar with, but considering that it's Mother's Day, I figured, might as well go ahead. However, just for fun, I decided to mix things up a bit to make it more original. It may not be exactly like the episode it's based on, but I hope you like it just the same.**

 **With all that said, please enjoy**

 **And happy Mother's Day.**

* * *

Like any other day at the Loud house, the mother Rita Loud arrived back after a long day at work.

"Ah, home at last. Now I can finally sit back and relax."

However, when she opened the door, she found that things were even more chaotic than ever before. All the kids were in quite a ruckus. Lincoln was on the couch playing video games with boxes of pizza everywhere, Lana was fooling around all covered in mud with the animals while Lily was covering herself in fingerpaint, Lola was driving around in her car leaving skid marks on the wall, Luna was jamming out really loud, Luan was getting a little too carried away with her pranks, Lisa was once again causing explosions with her experiments, Lori and Leni were chatting with their friends in the dining room with an absolute mess on the floor, Lynn was breaking stuff with her hockey stick, and Lucy….well let's just say she kept to herself writing her poetry (at least that doesn't cause too much trouble).

Anyway, this left Rita in a total shock. She went to the kitchen to see how her husband was doing, but the kitchen was an absolute wreck too.

Then she saw the father of the family pulling something out of the oven. "Honey! What is going on here?!"

"A historical event Rita," Lynn Sr answered. "My personal mozzarella cheese and pork rind casserole. Wanna try?"

Unfortunately, the 'experimental' dish looked anything but appetizing, which made his wife faint to the floor.

* * *

Moments later, Rita found herself resting on the couch with her husband and kids staring at her.

"What happened?"

"We found you sleeping on the kitchen floor," Lincoln asked. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just have a lot on my mind right now."

"Well no kidding," Lynn jr commented.

The father decided it was time for an intervention. "Uh girls…...I think you need to give your mom and I a little privacy."

"Yes dad," the girls said as they left.

"You too Lincoln."

"Yes dad," Lincoln said as he followed.

"Lynn, I can't take this anymore!" Rita said to her husband. "Something has to be done around here! This family needs professional help!"

"Honey, we talked about this," Lynn Sr. brays. "We're not getting the kids counseling. You always said that they should handle problems on their own. Unless two of them happen to fight over the same thing, the others join in and everything escalates into an erupting volcano!"

"Not that kind of help. I mean we need a housekeeper."

"oh. We can't afford a housekeeper."

"I can."

"Oh here we go again. You know money is the one thing that this family doesn't have enough of."

"What other choice do we have? I need someone to look after the house. Especially since I'm gonna be leaving soon."

"Leaving?"

"Yeah. Don't you remember? My dentist convention is coming up."

"Oh right. I knew that. It's just I can't bear the thought of you leaving me, for even a moment."

"And I can't stand the thought of what this place is gonna look like the minute I leave. I've already made up my mind. I'm gonna hire a full time house sitter to look after you, the kids and the house while I'm away. I just can't do it by myself."

"I guess we could use some help."

Unbeknownst to the parents, the kids were all in the dining room listening to the whole thing. And they started to get worried themselves.

"Dang," said Lynn. "Mom's really worked up over this."

"I know," Luan agrees. "She does so much for us and yet all we do is drive her over the edge."

"Well it's not our fault she has to deal with so much stress!" Lola shouts.

"Technically, it kinda is," Lisa argues. "Our maternal unit does deal with pressure all day at work. In addition, having to take care of eleven kids in a house that's anything but perfect does contribute to the amount of chaos."

"That makes sense," Lincoln thought. "I mean I get stressed out all the time having to deal with you guys."

"Hold on. You get stressed out too?" Lana questioned her brother.

"Obviously. Why do you think I have these bags around my eyes?"

The girls just shrugged as if they didn't know. "Guess we just never noticed before."

"Alright everyone," Lori announces. "This is serious. The housekeeping candidates are gonna be here tomorrow. Let's just see how this plays out."

Everyone nodded in agreement.

* * *

Through a montage, the Louds were all looking over the resumes of possible candidates.

The first one was a parole officer.

"It says here that you were a prison guard for five years?" Rita asked.

"That's right," the candidate declares. "I run the house like I run the big house. You make a mess, you clean up a mess. And I don't believe in timeouts, only hard time."

The kids looked intimidated, but not in a good way.

"Next!"

The next candidate was more calm and mellow.

"I don't believe in setting boundaries. Children should be free to express themselves and do whatever they want. Saying no just stifles their life force."

This time, Lucy got a little creeped out (no pun intended). "I'm not staying with that hippie."

"Next!"

Next was a woman in dark and spooky clothing (similar to Lucy's, but more frightening).

"If i take care of you kids, will you promise to be good?" She asked.

But the kids just shivered with fear.

"How about if we let you take care of us, you could promise to be less scary?" Lola said nearly fainting.

Then there was a gymnast coach. "After I take care over the house, I'm gonna get you kids in shape. Feel the burn! Visualize success!"

Unsurprisingly, everyone but Lynn jr seemed interested.

"I'm visualizing you out of here," Lisa pointed.

Finally, there was Jancey Yates. But before she even said one word…..

"No."

* * *

Finally it seems that the only thing left to do was to give up.

"Dozens of candidates and absolutely nothing!" Rita exclaimed. "Why do they even call it housesitting anyway? Kids are always running around all the time. Who knew it would be so hard to find help?"

"Face it honey," Lynn consoled. "Nobody can handle the Loud house. Remember what happened with the McBrides?"

"I just want someone perfect. Is that too much to ask? I can't leave my family here with just anybody. I guess I'll just have to cancel my trip."

"Now don't say that. I'm sure we'll find someone. You never know when the answer is gonna come knocking at the door."

Speaking of which, the doorbell rang and the father went to answer it.

"I'm not gonna lie, that prison guard was intimidating, but the twins could use some discipline."

"We heard that!" The twins said in unison.

As soon as Lynn Sr opens the door, he was amazed by who was standing there. It was a pretty woman who was all dressed professionally. His eyes went wide and his jaw dropped to the floor.

Rita came to the door and looked less than amused.

"You're hired!" Lynn said not paying attention. "See ya Rita. Have a nice trip."

"Not yet Lynn. And close your mouth."

* * *

Inside the house, everyone was once again looking over the resume.

"So what experience do you have with children," Rita asked skeptically.

"Well, I raised four brothers and sisters and I have a degree in child psychology."

This caught Lisa's attention. "Child psychology? Impressive."

But Rita still wasn't convinced. "Childcare is just a small part of the job. The big part is cleaning the house."

"Oh I love cleaning. Almost as much as I love watching football and wrestling."

Now Lynn jr had her attention. "Now this one sounds promising."

"Not yet everyone," Rita orders. "What about cooking? My children's nutrition is of utmost importance."

"No problem. I studied in France to become a chef in both traditional cuisine and macrobiotic."

Lynn Sr nudged his wife. "Nice try honey, but there's no turning this one down."

But Rita was still unconvinced. "I'm still not sure."

So Lynn leads her out of the living room. "Can I talk to you for a minute? Excuse us miss…"

"Please, call me Rebecca."

In the dining room, the parents were talking.

"What's going on with you?" The father asked his wife. "This is what we've been looking for. She's perfect."

"I'll admit, she has some pretty good qualities, but I'm still a little skeptical."

"About what?"

"I'm worried that the kids won't like her."

"What do you mean? She got Lisa and Junior's attention, didn't she?"

"But what about everyone else? You know the twins don't get along with everybody, let alone each other."

But to her surprise, Lola and Lana were already getting along with Rebecca.

"Need I say more?" Lynn Sr asked.

"Well….what about Lincoln? I mean it's gonna be like having another sister in the house."

As on que, Lincoln came up looking quite fascinated. "Mom! You're not gonna believe this! Rebecca just said she could teach me some dance steps she once used to beat her boyfriend at an arcade! She is so cool!"

Finally, Rita gave up. "Oh alright, alright. She's hired."

* * *

Finally the day came.

"Okay honey, my bus is gonna be here soon. I have a list of numbers you can call while I'm away."

Lynn Sr. looks over the 'small' list of emergency contact numbers. "9-1-1? The FBI? Area 51? Why do you even have these listed?"

"Better safe than sorry. And if all else fails, don't hesitate to call me at the convention. If it gets that extreme, I'll drop the whole thing and come right back."

Suddenly, Lincoln came into the scene. "Mom! I need help with my homework!" Lincoln begs. "Mrs Johnson says I'm falling behind in algebra. Again."

"Sorry Lincoln. But I don't have time right now. Maybe Lisa can help."

"Sheesh!" Lisa muttered. "At this rate, I might as well open up a business."

"Ah, it can't be that hard." The father decided to take a look for himself. "Let's see. 'If train A leaves a station at Royal Woods traveling at 40 miles per hour, and train B leaves at the same time from Great Lakes City at the same time traveling at 80 miles per hour on the same track as train A, where will the two trains meet."

"They'll probably meet at the crash site," Luan laughs. "Because that's what will happen if they're on the same track."

Lincoln groaned and turned to Lisa.

"Humor aside, she's got a point," Lisa replies.

"Mom!" Lincoln complains.

"That settles it," Rita said. "I'm not leaving. This house is gonna fall apart without me. Rebecca's late anyway."

"I thought you told her to be here at 8," Lynn Sr. questions.

"Well it's 8 o'clock now."

Just then the doorbell rang.

"Right on time." Lynn opens the door, and there was Rebecca.

"Hello Mr and Mrs Loud."

"Hello Rebecca."

"You have a great trip Mrs Loud. And don't worry, I'll take care of everything."

"See honey? You got nothing to worry about," the Loud father assures. "You just go on about your business trip. Everything will be just fine."

Rita sighs. "I guess you're right. But if anything goes wrong, I'll drop this thing and come right back."

"Oh we're not gonna have any trouble."

"Well okay." She waves goodbye to her family. "Bye kids. You be good for Rebecca okay? Keep the place spotless and Lana, don't eat any earthworms."

"Bye honey."

"And don't let Lily breathe in any noxious fumes."

"Bye honey."

"And Lisa, don't touch any radioactive waste."

"Bye honey!"

"Or-!"

Then Lynn immediately shuts the door before she could say another word.

"My goodness. What a worried wart."

* * *

Soon enough, a week had already passed. Rita just got off the bus after coming back from her trip.

But when she opens the front door, to her surprise, not only was nobody in the house, but the interior looked as though someone gave it a complete makeover.

"That's strange. This place is…..spotless. But where is everybody."

Just after a few seconds, the kids, Lynn Sr. and Rebecca came through the front door without even noticing her.

"Hey everyone!"

Then everyone paused.

"Who said that?" Lincoln asked.

"I don't know," Lola shrugged. "Sounded familiar."

"Very funny guys. It's me. Rita."

Her husband was surprised. "Rita? What are you doing back so soon."

"I was only gone for a week. Besides, I missed you guys. I kept trying to call you but no one answered."

"That's because we've been out having the time of our lives. Rebecca handled things here like a charm. It's like you never even left."

"Stop joking. I know for a fact that Lily missed me."

However, when Rita took Lily into her arms, the youngest sister burst into tears. Even the pets began to growl at her.

Rebecca finally got the baby to stop crying. "We've been at Dairyland amusement park all day."

"All day?" Rita was both surprised and concerned. "Lynn, what's been going on here?"

"Nothing honey," Lynn said. "We're fine."

"Really?"

"Really mom," Lincoln says. "Rebecca's terrific. She helped me with my homework."

"She helped me with my new mozzarella pork rind recipe," the father said.

"She gave us both a relaxing foot massage and manicure," Lori said as she and Leni were showing off their newly polished fingernails.

"Not to mention she's also got great skills in mechanics," said Lana. "She even showed me a few tricks."

"And she insisted on doing some mathematical equations for me," Lisa concludes. "Which were surprisingly helpful."

"See honey? Like I told you," the father assures. "It's like you never even left."

"Riiiiight," Rita said looking skeptical. "Well anyway, I'm glad to see all of you. I missed you."

"We missed you too. Didn't we kids?"

All the kids claimed they missed her, yet it didn't sound like they were serious.

"I hope you've got your singing voice ready. Because we're going out."

"Out?"

"Yeah," Lincoln said. "Rebecca's taking us to the karaoke lounge."

"They've got enough songs to keep you company when you're alone," said Luna.

"Hold on a minute," Rita stopped. "Don't you think you've had enough fun for week?"

"Okay I get it," her husband assures. "Your mother's obviously exhausted. So say goodnight….AND LETS GET THIS PARTY STARTED!"

"Hold it Lynn! I'm coming too!"

And so she did.

At the karaoke lounge, Rita was taken aback by Rebecca's singing voice. It was so stunning that not only did the rest of her family like it, but they even sang along.

Seeing as though she couldn't complete with her, Rita immediately spotted a way to get out of the place.

"Come on honey," Lynn encourages. "Show them what you got."

"I think I got laryngitis," Rita said in a false scratchy voice. "That trip took a lot out of me. I think I'm gonna head home."

Rita dashes out the door, leaving Lynn confused. But he shrugged it off and just went back to his family.

* * *

The next day at school, Rita rushed through the halls and into Lincoln's classroom.

"Sorry I'm late Mrs. Johnson. I guess my alarm didn't go off." But Rita was surprised to see that a certain someone was attending the conference with her son. "Rebecca? What are you doing here?"

"I figured it be best to let you sleep in."

"Well the last time I checked, I was Lincoln's parent. And I'm here to see why Lincoln is falling behind in math."

"Well thanks to Rebecca, Lincoln doesn't seem to have any trouble," Mrs. Johnson explains. "Since Rebecca's been tutoring him, his grades are better than ever. I wish other kids were lucky to have you Rebecca."

"She's not Lincoln's parent!" Rita intervenes.

"Of course. And you are?"

Rita gave a deadpanned look.

* * *

The rest of the the week didn't go much better. With everything Rita would usually help with, Rebecca took care of it. From helping Lincoln with his homework to solving a dispute with the twins, to assisting Lynn with her sports training to finally reading Lily bedtime stories.

At that moment, Rita couldn't hold it in anymore. She felt that she was being replaced. It seemed as though her family didn't need her anymore. So she decided that there was only one thing left to do.

* * *

A day later, the kids were all watching television in the living room.

"Isn't Rebecca the greatest?" Lola asked.

"Totally!" Lynn jr states. "I've never had a sports partner that wasn't such a wuss. No offense little bro."

"None taken," Lincoln assures. "Actually I tend to find Rebecca's tutorials to be quite refreshing."

"Took the words right out of my mouth," Lisa said.

"But why do I feel like something's missing?" Leni wonders.

Lana shrugs. "Maybe it's because Mom's usually the one who does these things. I mean she does run the house and the family."

"Where is mom anyway?" Lucy asked.

"I don't know," Luan answers.

"Come to think of it, I haven't seen her since she got back from her trip," Lori pondered.

Then Luna thought of something. "Dudes, do you think we've been neglecting her lately?"

Then all the kids were in shock. "Uh oh!"

So the kids went all around the house searching for their mother. From her bedroom, to their bedrooms, to the kitchen, to the backyard. But there was no sign of here anywhere.

Finally, Rebecca came into the scene. "Kids? What's going on here?"

"We can't find mom," Lincoln answers. "She isn't anywhere."

"Oh it's all our fault," Lana lamented. "If we didn't stress her out so much, none of this would have happened."

Seeing as the kids were desperate, Rebecca came to one conclusion. "Kids, I think I know one place you should look."

* * *

The kids found Rita hiding behind the van in the garage, feeling quite upset.

"Mom?"

Rita looks with surprise. "Kids! What are you doing here?"

"We're worried about you," Lola answered. "Rebecca said you might be here."

"Also this is usually where I go whenever I'm depressed," Lana states.

"Why are you all worried about me? You were having so much fun with Rebecca."

"We know. That's what we wanted to talk to you about," Lori said. "We have been ignoring you and we're really sorry."

"Yeah," Leni agrees. "Rebecca's great and all, but you're our mom."

"And we're your sunshine," Luan said.

"The light to our darkness," said Lucy.

"Just because we think Rebecca's cool doesn't mean you're any less important to us," Lynn claims.

"We wouldn't have nothing if we didn't have you," Luna consoled.

"Despite Luna's double negatives, I must concur," Lisa said adjusting her glasses.

"I guess what we're all trying to say is, we're sorry," Lincoln apologized. "But nobody could ever replace you mom. We're all a family and we always will be."

"Poo poo!" Cooed Lily.

Rita didn't know what to say. "Oh come here!" Everyone settled in for a group hug. "So what about Rebecca?"

"Oh, she decided to go help another family," Lincoln answered.

Lola shrugs. "Eh, it was good while it lasted."

* * *

The next day went like any normal day. Rita has come back home from work.

"Well, here goes nothing."

And when she opens the door, it was exactly like it happened at the beginning of the story (and a little crazier).

"Mom!" Lincoln shouts from the dining room. "I need help with my art project!"

"I'll be right there Lincoln."

Then she heard something blow up in the kitchen. Her husband came out covered in chocolate. "Honey, Where's the spatula?"

"Check the drawer next to the fridge."

"Thanks. By the way, don't look in the kitchen. It's a surprise."

"Let me guess: a new recipe involving chocolate?"

"Who told you?"

"Oh, just a wild guess."

With that, Rita smiles to the viewers and gave a wink.

"Ahhh, it's good to be back."

* * *

 **Happy Mother's Day**


	75. Grumpy young Loud

**Based on the _Jimmy Neutron_ episode _Grumpy Young Men._**

* * *

In the town of Royal Woods, Lincoln and his friends Clyde, Zach, Rusty and Liam were at the video game store, viewing at a poster.

"I don't know guys," Clyde said. "$15 is a lot of money."

"Well _Game of Doom 2_ is a lot of game Clyde," said Lincoln.

"Now remember guys," Zach told them. "This game is for mature players only. So act more mature than we usually do."

"I'll try to grow a mustache!" Rusty tried to do so, but nothing was happening.

"Well my pa is over 18," Liam said. "I'll act like him."

The kids brought the game to the counter along with their money.

"Well howdy there, city clerk!"

The rest of the boys just gave a deadpanned look.

"Beat it kids," said the man in the store. "This game is for mature players only due to violence, exaggerated mayhem and encouraging blatant disrespect towards authority figures. Now I suggest you go do something more age-appropriate."

"What?" Clyde pounds his fist on the counter. "That's not fair! We are highly mature! I demand justice!"

However, just a few seconds afterwards, the boys all got kicked out of the store landing flat on their butts.

"How dare you throw us out of your establishment!" Zach scolded.

"Come on guys," Lincoln suggests. "Let's go do something 'age-appropriate'."

The boys all got up on their feet and walked off.

But Rusty tried one more thing. "Hey you! Check it out! I'm staring at you with both eyes and you can't stop me!"

However, the clerk just threw an ice cream cone at his left eye.

"I stand corrected."

* * *

Later, the boys were all walking home.

"Dang age restrictions," Liam griped.

"That's the problem with being kids," Zach said. "You're too short to do anything and nobody ever listens to you."

"I wish we could be 18 years old right now," Clyde lamented.

"Well I guess Lisa could use one of her inventions to make us 18," Lincoln said. "But she'd probably say it would be 'highly unethical'."

Lincoln walked ahead, while the others stopped in their tracks.

"You mean the only thing standing between us and hot multiplayer action is the difference between right and wrong?" Rusty asked in disbelief.

Then they all got a sneaky idea and rushed over.

"Yeah, but guys….Whoa!"

They took Lincoln by the arms and dragged him back to his house.

* * *

At the Loud house, Lincoln and his friends were in Lisa's room, where the young genius was working on her new invention.

"Thanks for helping us Lisa," Lincoln said. "I knew that Loud-favor coupon would come in handy.

"Eh, what can I say?" Lisa shrugs. "I'm a scientist of my word. Plus this gives me a chance to test out my metabolism accelerator."

"How does it work?" Clyde asked.

"Allow me to demonstrate using this acorn."

Lisa throws the acorn into the machine and it disappears. They all look on the other side and see a giant tree in the room.

"Oh, I get it," Zach said. "Now we just get the tree to rent the game for us."

"Don't be stupid Zach," Rusty said. "First we teach it to drive. In case they ask for photo ID."

"And just how can a tree be able to drive a car?" Liam questions, "let alone fit into one."

Lisa just slaps her forehead.

"Guys," Lincoln clarifies. "Don't you see? If we use Lisa's accelerator, we can make ourselves older."

"How come _he's_ the only one who pays attention?" Lisa mutters. She then went over to the machine and set the controls. "Target age: 18."

The boys then prepared to run through the portal.

"Alright guys!" Lincoln said. "On the count of three. One, two…"

"I hope Lori will think I'm dashing," Clyde wonders.

"Three!"

The boys all ran through. But when they came out through the other side, they looked as if nothing changed.

"Wow! It's cool being old," Zach said. "Behold my manful stride!"

"I don't think it worked," Liam observes.

"Yeah," Lincoln agrees. "We all look the same."

Lisa scratches her chin. "Hmm. That's strange. Then again, I suppose humans are more complex than acorns."

Rusty tried to comb his own back. "Which one of you guys wanna help me comb my back hair?"

"Or not. Perhaps we should call it a day. I'm sure I'll be able to figure out the problem after a good night sleep."

* * *

The next morning, Lincoln awoke from his bed. But when he saw himself in his bedroom mirror, he saw that while he still maintained his hair color, he was now a senior citizen.

This made Lincoln scream in shock. Even his dog Charles screams like a girl when he saw him like that.

Then the doorbell rang. Lincoln went to the front door and saw that his friends were also elderly.

"Lincoln? Is that you way over there?" Asked Clyde.

"Guys!" Lincoln shouts. "Something went horribly wrong!"

"Aw dang, do you think?" Liam argues. "I'm as old as my pa!"

"And another thing!" Rusty griped. "These kids today wear their pants too low! They're down under their stomachs for crying out loud!"

* * *

Back at the scene of the crime, Lisa was examining her machine.

"Perhaps I shouldn't have made the all important time break out of a soda can."

"You got to fix us Lisa!" Lincoln begs. "I don't wanna be this old for 50 more years."

"Well you won't have to, Lincoln." Lisa took out her calculator. "According to my calculations, you boys will continue to age until you turn to dust at exactly 6:03 this evening."

"But I'm allergic to dust," Rusty complains.

"Don't panic. I just need to get a hold of enough titanium to make a stronger time break. I'll work on the machine. You guys head out into town and see if you can find enough titanium."

"Will do, Lisa," Clyde salutes.

* * *

Later, the boys are seen driving in the city.

"Lincoln?" Clyde asked. "Are you sure it's okay to drive a car?"

"I'm at least 75 years old," Lincoln aggressively answers. "I think I can make my own decisions."

"Wait! I know what you're trying to do! You're taking me to the nursing home! Let me out! Let me out!" Rusty kept banging on the car window.

"Rusty! Careful!" Clyde warned. "This car is going at an excessive 7 miles per hour."

"I think your old age is making you loopy," Zach says.

Finally, they arrived at Jean Juan's French Mex Buffet.

"You know when I was a kid, the sky was bluer," Rusty berated. "And a quarter would buy you groceries for a week."

Unfortunately, due to short term memory loss, Lincoln started to forget what they were doing in the first place. "Dang it! Does anyone remember what we drove down here to get?"

"I think it was something to do with metal," Liam tried to remember.

"Well, I'd like a canary to talk to while I watch tv and eat soup," Clyde said.

Then Lincoln spotted a nearby store that sold titanium and greeting cards (go figure).

"Aha! Titanium! That's it!" Lincoln made his way over, very slowly.

"I think Lincoln wants us to follow him," Clyde said.

"Yeah." Then Zach spotted something else. "Of course I've always wanted to try the senior's all-you-can-eat-dessert at Jean Juan's French Mex Buffet."

"Right behind you my short wrinkled friend," Rusty said as the others walked in.

* * *

Meanwhile, Lincoln was busy crossing the street, when nearby, a couple of twins should happen to arrive.

"Wait, good sir!" The girly twin exclaimed. "We will assist you."

Lincoln immediately recognized that the twins were his sisters. "Lola? Lana? Oh no!"

"Come on Lols," Lana said. "He doesn't look interested."

"Lana, do you wanna earn your bluebell helpfulness patch, or not?" Lola offers her services. "Please, take my arm extremely old but still valuable senior citizen."

"I don't need your girly help!" Lincoln shouts.

But the twins were persistent. "Yeah, you do," Lana argues."

"Do not!"

"Listen Pops! We can do this the easy way, or we can both earn our Taekwondo patches at the same time!"

Lola and Lana each took a hand and 'helped', much to Lincoln's protests. "Let go of me, you whippersnappers! I'll have you arrested! Help! I'm being old-napped!"

* * *

Back in the restaurant, the boys were busy eating dessert like crazy.

Then the waiters came in. " _¿Que pasa?_ What's going on here?"

"The sign says senior citizens eat dessert free!" Rusty exclaimed.

"You're supposed to buy an entree first."

"We did," Clyde answers. "I had a fromage con queso in here yesterday."

The boys all laughed in amusement.

* * *

Back in the store, Lincoln was starting to forget again.

"Now what was it I wanted? Something beginning with a T. Tacos? Tutus? Taquitos?"

Unbeknownst to him, his sister Leni came into the store. "Hello sir. I'm Leni. I totes love the way you're wearing your pants. It like totally looks more comfortable that way." Then she started to recognize something. "Are you sure we haven't met before? You look familiar. Something about your hair."

Lincoln got nervous. "Oh no! I'm just a strange old man and definitely not your brother after one of Lisa's screwed up experiments."

"I know. You remind me of Pop-Pop. Except you're not always saying 'Leni, I told you, mayonnaise is not an instrument'."

"Oh that's impossible. I have no family."

Leni gasped. "Oh you poor thing. Well you can come with me. Mom and dad will give you a nice home cooked meal." Leni took Lincoln by the arm and dragged him out of the store.

"I can't! I have to buy something with a T in it!"

"I'll get you a nice cup of tea."

"Let go!"

"Come on!"

"I said let me go!"

While Leni was struggling to get Lincoln to go with her, the twins happened to witness what was going on.

"Hey look!" Lana watched. "Leni's trying to get a helpfulness patch too."

"And I thought _we_ were aggressive," Lola said.

* * *

In the restaurant, soft music was playing, but it was immediately followed by a slight bone cracking sound.

"Liam! Quit snapping your fingers!" Clyde complains. "I can't hear the music!"

"That's not my fingers," Liam answers. "It's my _spine_."

Then a sweet old lady came up to talk with Clyde. "Hey good looking. Wanna get jiggly with me?"

"Oh no thanks ma'am," Clyde declines. "I'm full of pudding, so…."

Then her boyfriend came into the scene. "Hey punk! You making time with my gal?"

"No."

"What if he is, Popeye?" Zach intervened.

"I wasn't! I don't even like girls yet!"

The old man pointed to him. "I challenge you to a dance-off."

"He accepts!" Rusty, Zach and Liam cheer.

"What?" Clyde was confused at first, but then realized. "No I don't!"

"Dance-off! Dance-off! Dance-off!"

And so the contest began with all the seniors dancing to the music.

* * *

Back at the Loud house, Lincoln was at the table with his parents and sisters (sans Lisa), none of them realizing who it really is.

Rita brought him a cup with a straw. "Here's your dinner. I put it in the blender first so the chewing doesn't tire you out."

"So what did you do before you retired?" Lori asked.

"I can't remember. I don't even know what I'm supposed to be doing now. I think it's really important."

"Well maybe if we guess, it'll jog your memory," Leni suggests. "Does it involve shovels?"

"No. I don't think so."

"Well that eliminates grave digging," Lucy lamented.

"I wish little bro would get down here," said Luna. "His dinner's getting cold."

"Yeah," Lynn jr agrees. "Come to think of it, I don't think I've seen him all day."

"Oh honey," the father told his wife. "Remind me to take the pie out at 6:03."

This immediately jogs Lincoln's memory. "6:03?" He looks at the clock and saw that it was exactly 15 minutes until then. "Oh no! I'm gonna turn to dust!"

"Oh, don't say that," Leni said. "You've still got years ahead of you."

"No! You don't understand! I'm your brother, Lincoln! And if I don't get something in the next 15 minutes, I'm gonna keep aging until I turn to dust!"

The girls didn't buy it. "Sure you are," Luan said sarcastically. "And I'm a goat."

"I gotta get that thing that starts with a T. A toaster? Turkey bacon?" Lincoln got out of his chair and heads out the door.

"Okay, bye!" Leni waved.

Once he left, the girls were left confused.

"Is it me, or did something seem a little off about that old timer?" Luna wonders.

"If you ask me, I think he's so old, he's talking nonsense," Luan answers.

"Yeah," Lynn agrees. "That can happen."

"I can't wait until I get that old and I start talking like that," Leni said. "Yadda, yadda, yadda. It's gonna be great."

The girls all had uneasy looks on their faces.

Out in front of the house, Lincoln saw the other boys arriving back from Jean Juan's, carrying Clyde in a wheelbarrow.

"Hey Lincoln."

"Guys! We don't have much time!" Lincoln panicked. "We need something in the next 10 minutes or we all turn to dust!"

"If it's rice pudding, we're in luck," answered Rusty.

"Yeah," Liam claims. "Clyde won a lifetime supply in a dance contest."

"Yeah." Clyde sat up as he held a small trophy. "And this titanium trophy."

"Titanium?" Then Lincoln remembered. "That's it! Follow me! And hurry!"

Lincoln led the others into the house and up the stairs. Liam and Zach were carrying Clyde by the shoulders.

* * *

Finally, they arrived in Lisa's room with only five minutes left.

"There. The machine is complete," Lisa claims. "Clyde, hand me the trophy."

"And you are?"

Lisa took the little trophy and placed it into the machine. "Hopefully this titanium will be a more stable time break as we change you back to your original ages." Then she activated the machine. "Through the beam! Quick!"

Clyde yawns. "How about a nap first to build up my strength?"

"No! Lincoln! Help me out here!"

But Lincoln, as well as the others, had already fallen asleep.

Rusty woke with alarm. "B-32? I got bingo!"

Then Lisa thought up something. "Guys look! Half price on prune whip!"

"Half price?" Liam asked.

"Well then what are we doing here?" Lincoln led the others to the beam, but they struggled along the way.

"Ow! My back!"

"Get off my bunions!"

"Move you old coot!"

"Who are you calling an old coot?"

"Well if the corrective shoe fits!"

"I'm coming prune whip!"

While they were arguing, Lisa saw on the clock that there was only one more minute. "Sorry about this boys." Lisa ran up behind their backs and pushed them all in at once. Suddenly, there came a big flash of light.

* * *

After that, the boys came out of the room back to their old selves again.

"Well I certainly learned my lesson," Lincoln states.

"Yep. It's really true," Rusty somewhat agrees. "Rice pudding is nature's fruit."

"Actually I meant that being a kid is a pretty good deal."

"Yeah," Zach fully agrees. "I think I can wait to become older."

"You got that right brother," Clyde exclaims while eating out of a bowl.

"Uh, Clyde? What are you eating?" Lincoln questioned.

"Just some prune whip from Lisa's lab."

"Clyde, there wasn't any prune whip," Lisa claims. "That's my experimental truth telling serum!"

"Oh Lisa, that's ridic—." Then Clyde dropped the spoon and bowl and entered a trance like state. " _I stole Lincoln's toast the other day. Sometimes I dream about Lori."_

Lincoln sighed. "Here we go again."

"Maybe we better go," Liam suggests.

" _I don't think aliens exist."_

"Lalalala! I don't wanna hear it!" Rusty covered his ears as they all walked away.

" _My Nana's really 62, I just ripped up…"_

"Make him stop!"


	76. The Kindergarteners

**Based on an episode of _My Gym Partner's a Monkey: The Cuddlemuffins._**

* * *

It all began on a normal day at school. Lincoln Loud was approached by a young kindergarten girl with a ponytail.

"Hello."

"Aw, aren't you just the cutest."

Just then, Clyde stepped in to intervene. "Sorry pal, but my friend is not interested. Now run along! Shoo!"

The young girl ran away.

"No need to thank me," Clyde assures. "I'll put it on your bill."

Lincoln was left confused. "My bill?"

* * *

At gym class, everyone was outside and Lincoln was once again approached by a little boy, who began giving him the puppy dog eyes.

"Beg your pardon sir. Might I trouble you to lean down a spot?"

"Oh, why of course you little….."

But then, Clyde grabbed Lincoln by the arm and pulled him away. "You're safe now."

"Clyde, what are you…"

"No time to explain. Gotta go."

As Clyde left, Lincoln took another glance at the kid, who was still giving him the eyes. "That's so cute."

* * *

Next, Lincoln was in the school hallway approaching the vending machine. It was nearly empty, except for one item.

"I can't believe my luck!" Lincoln says. "One chocolate left. I better get it."

But then Lincoln felt that he wasn't alone. He turned around fast and saw a young brunette girl with a ponytail, who was holding her arms out. "Huggy?"

"Well, hugs _are_ nice."

But as Lincoln gave into the hug, unbeknownst to him, that little girl reached into his back pocket, took out a five dollar bill and ran away.

Lincoln was slightly confused, but paid no mind. "Now for that candy bar."

But when he reached into his pocket, he found nothing.

"Huh? That's weird. I had five bucks."

Then Clyde came and handed Lincoln a notepad. "Here you go buddy."

"What's this?"

"It's your bill. For my services. You know, protecting your from the various dangers and near disastrous predicaments you find yourself in all the time."

"Like what?"

"Like keeping you from falling victim to the cuddle muffins."

"The what-le who-fins?"

"The kindergarteners."

"Why would I need protection from the cute and cuddly kindergarteners."

"Lincoln, they may _appear_ to be cute and cuddly, but they're also the biggest scam artists around this place."

"Well what about Lisa and Darcy? I mean they're in kindergarten and they don't do crazy things like this. Unless you count Lisa conducting her experiments and using her classmates as test subjects."

"There's a few things you don't know about her Lincoln. Lisa can be _quite_ a slick hustler."

Speak of the devil, Lisa came up to the duo in a trench coat with various stuff in it. "Could I interest you in a gold watch for your lady friend? Maybe some hi-fi equipment or a personal breakfast sandwich maker? Or how about a pulsating massage chair or a collection of vintage trading cards? Or perhaps a miniature sized grand piano?"

"Lisa, if you're trying to earn money for a new Bunsen burner, I can't buy anything," Lincoln says. "You know principal Huggins strictly forbids these shenanigans."

"Hmm…..a tough negotiator. Very well. I'll be on my way." And so she was.

"As I was saying," Clyde continued. "You don't wanna mess with those kids. If you so much as give in to one little hug, they'll milk you for all your worth."

"Really?"

"Lincoln, nothing in the world is free. Speaking of which, can I reborrow that $5 I borrowed last week and then paid you back this morning? I'm a little short on cash."

"I don't have it."

"What do you mean you don't have it? I just paid you back."

Lincoln got nervous and began fiddling with his cowlick. "Yeah….well…... I spent it already."

"You're playing with your turkey tail, and that means you're fibbing."

"No I'm not!"

"Lincoln! You gave into the huggy, didn't you?"

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did!"

Clyde then noticed a small piece of brown hair on Lincoln's shirt. So he took it off and took a strand of Lincoln's own hair from the top of his head. When examining both strands, he realized something was off.

"I don't remember you having long brown hair that's similar to the hair in a ponytail of a 4 year old girl."

Clyde also noticed a weird scent and took a whiff.

"And you smell like strawberry shampoo!"

Then the duo spotted the same little girl who stole Lincoln's dollar, as she used it on a snow cone machine.

"Aw!" Lincoln says. "She's so cute the way she eats. And since when did we get a snow cone machine in our school?"

"Aha!" Clyde points. "So you _did_ give in! As for your question, your guess is as good as mine."

"Alright! So I was weak! Big whoop! Hugs are nice. And what harm could it do?"

Clyde was still suspicious. "You're gonna need some serious Clincoln McCloud Security now." He took out a briefcase and handed Lincoln a pamphlet. "May I suggest the gold plan. At $20 a day, it only sounds expensive, but I like to think of it as an investment. It saves you money in the future."

Lincoln was less than amused. "Clyde, you're my best friend, but I don't think I need any protection."

"Eh, suit yourself. But just in case you're interested, my number is on the back of the pamphlet." Clyde then took his briefcase and left.

"How could a bunch of sweet little kids give me anything but happiness and joy?"

Lincoln then saw that the little girl had finished her snow cone and demanded more. So she made her way over to Lincoln and started reaching into his pockets for more cash.

"Hey! Cut it out! That tickles!"

Soon the other kids joined in, but Lincoln was able to break himself free.

"Look! I'm really sorry guys, but I'm flat broke."

The kids didn't care for that at all.

"GET HIM!"

The kids all chased after Lincoln through the hall. Lincoln managed to hide in the broom closet. At first, he thought he had lost them. But of course, he was wrong, as he turned on the lamp to find them in there waiting for him. Then he tried to sneak out, only to find that the kids were all outside the door.

"Really! I don't have any more money! What do I have to do? Sell a limb to buy you guys treats?"

The kids thought it over.

"Well I wouldn't go _that_ far," a young blonde girl said. "But we're willing to make you a deal. If you can find ways to make us more money by the end of the day, we'll stop bothering you. But if you fail to meet the deadlines, you're gonna be brushing your teeth with a fish stick!"

Lincoln looks unamused. "Really?"

"What do you expect? We're too cute to be intimidating. Just give us our money."

"Okay! Okay! I will! Give me one hour."

The kids all smiled.

* * *

An hour later, Lincoln was standing by his locker when Clyde came up.

"Hey Lincoln."

"Hey Clyde."

"Ready for class?"

"Sure am." Lincoln was about to head off, but Clyde noticed he was missing something.

"But Lincoln, you don't have any books!"

"Oh…..uh….. I just forgot them at home."

Clyde saw he was fiddling with his turkey tail again. "You're lying again, aren't you? Are you sure you didn't _sell_ them to pay off those kindergarteners?"

"No."

Then the kids walked right past them with ice cream in their hands.

Lincoln smiles uneasily, and Clyde still didn't buy his charade. "I got my eye on you."

* * *

Things weren't exactly different at lunch either.

Lincoln made his way to a table where his friends Clyde, Liam, Rusty, Zach and Stella were sitting.

"Hey Lincoln!" Greeted Rusty. "Where's your lunch?"

"Oh! Uhh…... I already ate it." Then Lincoln's stomach growls, which proves that he was lying.

"Or he _sold_ it," Clyde states. "To pay off those scam artist kindergarteners."

Lincoln was about to deny it, but one of the kindergarteners walked past behind him.

Now his friends were really unamused.

"You didn't fall for the huggies, did you?" Liam questioned.

"Aw that's the oldest scam in the book," said Zach.

"There's no such thing as free hugs," Stella claims. "Though I'm offering mine at a discount."

"Alright, so what if I did give in?" Lincoln groaned. "Hugs are nice. Besides, what's the big deal? They're so cute and cuddly and they make you feel happy. Kinda like those little penguins me and Lana babysat that one time."

"No way snowflake," Liam argues. "Come on. I mean no offense, but you're not exactly the…...uhh….."

"Cute and cuddly type," Zach finished.

"Yeah. You're not the type."

"Well it just so happens that I, Lincoln L. 'Don't-call-me-names' Loud, the sole Loud brother, am extremely cute and cuddly," Lincoln protests with pride. "On the inside."

"Aw would you look at that," Stella cooed. "Lincoln's got a heart of cuteness."

Lincoln went red in the cheeks and shivered.

* * *

The next day, Lincoln was in the principal's office in his victory undies. (Yeah that's right. He _literally_ sold the clothes off his back).

Principal Huggins was not the least bit amused. "Mr Loud. Any particular reason you're in nothing but your underwear today?"

"It's hot," Lincoln lied (seeing as how a cold breeze just flew in through the window).

"Did someone put you up to this?"

"What makes you say that?"

Huggins pulls out Lincoln's math book. "Well I found your school books at a local pawn shop while I was antiquing."

"Oh! I….uh…...lost them. Thanks for finding them for me."

"Well it cost me $23 dollars, plus whatever you wanna give me as a finders fee if you're so inclined."

"Can I pay you later?"

"Sure, sure. Whatever. Listen, Lawrence is it?"

"Lincoln. My name's Lincoln."

"Got it. Lincoln, if anything's bothering you, anything at all, you let me know. Even if it's embarrassing, you can trust me. I'm your principal."

"Well, what if I told you I was being tormented by the kindergarteners?"

Huggins pauses for a few seconds before laughing hysterically in his face. "Oh that's a good one Loud! I mean what could those little cuddle muffins be scamming you for? Snow cones?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

* * *

Finally, Lincoln was in the restroom. As a last request, Lincoln began shaving the hair off the top of his head and placing it in a paper bag.

Then Clyde bashes right through the door. "Lincoln! We all wanna know what the heck you're doing!"

Lincoln looks quite nervous. "Uhh…...I'm experimenting with my look?"

But Clyde didn't buy it. "Or maybe you're selling your hair to a wig company to pay off the kindergarteners."

"Alright! You caught me! I couldn't help it! I…" Lincoln then paused when he realized what Clyde just said. "Wait a minute! You said we want to know?"

As luck would have it, Liam, Zach and Rusty came out of a nearby stall.

"Howdy Loudy!" Liam greets.

"This is an intervention pal!" Said Zach.

"Yeah," Rusty agrees, "we're here to help you with your little problem."

"Just you?"

"We were gonna include Stella in the intervention," Clyde clarifies. "But this is the boys room."

"Well I guess that's okay. As long as it's just you guys."

Then as unfortunate luck would have it, Chandler and his crew came out of their respective stalls. "Tough luck Larry. Wait until the gym class hears about this. What a loser." And they laughed as the strutted out the door.

"Why didn't you tell us that the stalls were occupied?" Rusty scolded.

"You didn't _ask_ ," Zach defended.

"He's got a point there," Liam said.

"My bad," Rusty admits.

"Okay guys," Clyde announces. "Lincoln is in trouble. And Clincoln McCloud Security is here to help. Step into my office gentlemen so we can come up with a plan."

Clyde opens up an empty stall as the boys stepped in. But as soon as he closed the door, they found they were in deep trouble.

"Uh oh! This is not good."

"Zach!" Rusty scolds again. "You were supposed to check if the stalls were empty!"

"I _did_!" Zach shouted defensively. "But you never asked me if I found anything!"

"He's right, you know," Liam states. "We brought this on ourselves."

Lincoln opens the stall and saw that his friends were being cuddled by the kindergarteners.

"Ugh! Not again!"

"Why fight it Lincoln?" Clyde struggles.

"Yeah!" Liam agrees. "Hugs are nice."

"And they're so cute and cuddly and stuff," said Zach.

At that point, Lincoln has just about enough. "Alright! That's it! I can't take it anymore! I'm done! You kids aren't get another cent out of me or my friends!"

"We can't help it!" One girl said. "you don't know what it's like in kindergarten!"

"We hate it in there!" One boy said. "It stinks!"

"Yeah!" Another boy agrees. "It's no fun at all."

Then the girl that stepped forward was the same girl who tricked Lincoln in the first place. "We shouldn't have made you do all that stuff, but it was the only way we could get what we want."

Lincoln felt sympathetic. "Well what _do_ you want?"

The kids all began explaining their suggestions. "Well we wouldn't ask for much. But we would like bigger blankets during nap time."

"Yeah! And _more_ time to sleep!"

"And would it hurt to have us choose our own music once in a while?"

"And maybe some better tasting dessert in the cafeteria?"

"And let us watch fun videos once in a while. Like _Peep and the Big Wide World._ "

All the other kids paused.

"What? I love that show! It's really cute."

Then Liam's little sister was the last to speak. "And what about root beer?"

"ROOT BEER?!"

Then Lincoln got an idea. "Well if you guys really want all that stuff, I think I know a few people who can help."

* * *

Later in the hallway, the kindergarteners were having their own little stands, offering things like lemonade, fresh baked cookies, and haircuts (for some reason).

Of course they had some help from Lincoln's little sisters. Lucy convinced principal Huggins to allow them to set up the campaign as well as convince the customers that it was all for a good cause. Lola and Lana helped with the stands themselves. Lana helped build the stands while Lola mostly helped with the baking and hairstyling. And finally Lisa was of course the financial advisor.

Lincoln and his friends were watching the whole thing.

"Gotta hand it to you Link," Clyde said. "This is one of your best ideas yet."

"Sure was." But then Lincoln's guilt came back. "Listen guys. Sorry about before. I guess I let my good nature get the best of me."

"Well you weren't completely wrong," Liam said. "Hugs really are nice."

"Word, yo!" Said Zach.

"But nothing in the world is free," Lincoln finished.

Then Girl Jordan and Stella came forward.

"Hugs may not be free," said Jordan. "But Stella might give you one at a discount."

"Actually I think I'm offering full price Jordan."

"I don't blame you girl."

Clyde whispers in his best friend's ear. "Hey Lincoln? You might wanna put some clothes on."

Lincoln was shocked to find that he was still in his underwear and half of his hair was cut off. "Yeah you're right. But what am I gonna do until my hair grows back."

"Don't fret big brother. You can borrow my hat." Lana steps in and places her cap on Lincoln's head. "And don't worry. I already washed a month ago."

Lincoln looks unamused as the story comes to an end.

* * *

 **Hope you all enjoyed that one.**

 **Now if I have to be honest, I had a lot of fun including Lincoln's friends in these stories as I did including his sisters. Recently, I found out there were a lot of stories that could revolve around these characters, plus the fact that I wanted to mix things up a little with this fanfic, that I decided to include them more into these stories. But don't worry, there'll be more stories about the Loud sisters coming soon.**

 **On a side note, here's a little piece of trivia:**

 **If you guys aren't aware, Liam was revealed to have a little sister in kindergarten as mentioned in the season 2 episode _Making the Grade_ (though she is yet to be seen).**

 **Just a little fun fact**

 **With all that said, stay tuned**

 **And see you next time.**


	77. A Loud to be Cool

**Hey everyone**

 **And now it's Father's Day. And what better way to celebrate it than with a Father's Day Story?**

 **For this one, I decided to base it on an actual Father's Day episode of one of my favorite shows, _The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius_. The episode being _Make Room for Daddy-O._**

 **Enjoy**

* * *

It all started out like any normal day at Royal Woods Elementary. Only today was a special occasion. It was the rehearsal for a show for Father's Day.

Principal Huggins and Lincoln's teacher Mrs Johnson were participating as judges.

"We will now hold rehearsals for the annual Royal Woods Father's Day Frenzy." Mrs. Johnson looks over her clipboard. "First we have Girl Jordan and her father."

Girl Jordan and her dad appears on stage in karate uniforms. "My father and I will be performing a martial arts demonstration."

And so they did. After a few poses and one final bow, Huggins and Johnson were both stunned and impressed.

"Next we have Mr Helmandollar and his daughter, Darcy."

Both Darcy and her father approached the stage, with a mini cardboard stage of their own. "My daddy and I will be doing a puppet show."

So they did. Both Darcy and her dad were putting on a show with some stuffed toys, including her giraffe Rafo. The result made the teachers and staff thinking it was rather cute and adorable.

"Finally, we have Lynn Loud Senior and his kids Lincoln, Lucy, Lana, Lola and Lisa."

However, something was going on backstage.

"No way!" The kids argued. "Forget it! We are _not_ doing it!"

"Aw come on. You kids _loved_ my cowbell routine. We did it during that family band."

"That was a long time ago," Lola said.

"2 years, 10 months and 30 days to be exact," Lisa corrected.

"Has it really been _that_ long already?" Lana asked. "Because i still feel six years old."

"Oh the mysteries that have yet to be solved," Lucy sighs.

"Dad, we really don't wanna do this," Lincoln protests.

"But we are going to be the hit of the show. Your friends will never forget this as long as they live."

Lincoln folds his arms. "I rest my case."

"Mr Loud!" Mrs. Johnson called from the seats. "Is there a problem?"

"Not a problem," Lynn Sr. assures. "Come on kids, the audience is clamoring for us."

"Oh man!" Lana panics. "We're doomed!"

"Don't worry," Lincoln assures. "I've got a plan."

Within a few seconds, Lincoln knocks over a nearby crate and pretended to trip on a cord.

"Ow! I sprained my ankle. I can't go on."

The girls were confused at first, but once they saw Lincoln winking at them, they began to catch on.

"Uh…..yeah," Lola fibbed. "And come to think of it, my neck feels a little stiff."

"And I think I have a tired elbow," Lana lies.

"I think _I_ have a tired _head_ ," added Lisa.

"And one of my legs is shorter than the other," Lucy stated.

"Aw, that's a bummer," their father lamented. "Well don't worry kids. I'll carry on by myself."

"No!" Lincoln says waving his hands. "No, dad! Let's just go home!"

"What? And let our public down? Never! The show must go on!"

So Lynn Sr. went up on stage and did his cowbell act, much to the Loud kids' embarrassment.

Lincoln covered his eyes. "Please just let this be a horrible dream." But when he opens his eyes, he saw standing behind him were Ronnie Anne and Girl Jordan.

"Nope," said the Santiago girl. "Not a dream."

This made Lincoln faint as their father was wrapping it up.

"Thank you Royal Woods Elementary! And goodnight." The father walks off the stage.

"Well that was unfortunate," sighs Lucy.

"Yeah," Lana agrees, "but at least it's over."

"You know," Ronnie Anne intervenes. "If I had a dad like yours, I'd change my name, dye my hair and move to another city."

"Or state," Girl Jordan adds.

"Or country."

"Or continent."

"Or planet!"

"Or universe!"

"Or….Or…you know what? I'm just gonna laugh now."

And so they did as they walked away.

The Loud girls were now very steamed.

"Okay, there's only so much humiliation I can handle," grumbled Lana. "And this goes over the top."

"Which is more than you can say for Lincoln," Lisa said, pointing towards their brother, who was still on the floor unconscious.

"I'll say." Lola felt his forehead. "Linky's definitely out cold."

"Don't worry, I got this." Lana dashes off and came back with a bucket full of ice water. She then splashed it in Lincoln's face, waking him up instantly.

"What happened!? Where am I?! Why is my face wet!?" Lincoln looks at his surroundings and then came to an unfortunate realization. "Oh, now I remember."

* * *

Back at the Loud house, the five young kids were having a meeting of their own in Lincoln's room.

"Okay, I think it's obvious why we're here," Lincoln announces. "We can't let dad go up on stage and do that stupid cowbell solo."

"Yeah, no kidding," Lola agrees. "If he humiliates us, I'll be laughed at the rest of my pageant career."

"Well what can we do?" Lana asked.

Lisa thought up of something. "Well we could abolish Father's Day as a national holiday."

Lincoln didn't approve of that idea. "Yeah, we're not doing that. Besides, then we'd have to go to Washington."

"What if we got adopted by a professional entertainer?" Lola suggested.

Lana waves her hand in disagreement. "Nah, that's too sitcom-y."

"I say we just pack up and go to the moon," Lucy stated.

Everyone just paused. Lincoln raises a brow. "Really Lucy?"

"It's over 200,000 miles away from here. Plus it's got a lot of darkness."

"Let's face it guys," Lincoln said. "We're just gonna have to tell dad that his cowbell routine is the dorkiest thing of all time."

Then their father came into the room. "Hey kids. Just wanted to let you know I can't wait to perform on Friday. It's gonna be the highlight of my life. Well, nighty night. You kids are gonna be stars." Their dad left the room, but not before getting his nose caught on the door.

Now the young kids were filled with even more guilt.

Lincoln buries his face into his pillow. "Aw who am I kidding? We'll break his heart if we tell him the truth."

"I know." Lana sighs. "If only dad wasn't such an oddball."

"Perhaps, he doesn't have to be," Lisa pondered.

"What are you getting at Lisa?" Lincoln asked.

"As they say, Drastic situations call for drastic solutions. To the lab!"

The kids just stood still confused. "Uhh…what lab?"

Lisa groaned. "Just follow me into my room."

And so they did.

Inside the young genius's room, Lisa was showing the group another new gadget she made.

"May I present the solution to our problems. By freezing the brain's cortex and stimulating its cognitive side, this marvel can change our father's personality from naive to nifty. I call it the dedorkinator 3000."

"The dedorkinator?" Lana questioned. "Really Lisa?"

"Give me a break. With all the inventions I construct, they're becoming harder to label. Now let's get a move on."

As Lincoln, Lisa and Lucy headed out the door, Lola and Lana stayed behind.

"I'd just like to say," Lola proclaims, " _I_ could have come up with a much better name than that."

"For once, I agree with you," said Lana.

* * *

And so, the kids snuck downstairs into their parents' room. Seeing as how they were sleeping, they tried sneaking up as quietly as possible. But then…..

"Ow!"

"Shhh!"

"Sorry! Something hit my foot!" Lincoln looked down and saw a bowling ball on the floor. "Why does mom and dad have a bowling ball in their room?"

"Lynn must've left it here," Lana wonders.

"We can worry about that later," whispered Lisa. "We've got a job to do."

The kids proceeded. Lisa took out the dedorkinator and zapped their father with it. Although he still seems normal, the kids knew their job was done.

But before they left, Lincoln hit his foot on the bowling ball again.

"Ow!"

"Shhhhh!"

* * *

The next morning, the young girls and Lincoln woke up. But Lincoln's foot was still sore from the bowling ball.

"Ow! Ow! Ow!"

"Oh will you stop with the complaining already?" Lola demanded.

"I can't help it," Lincoln groaned. "I really did a number on my foot."

"I'll say," Lana agrees. "I didn't think it was possible to stub your toes all at once."

"Says the girl who smashed her thumb with a hammer trying to fix Charles's doghouse," Lisa retorted.

"I can do without the reminder, thank you very much Lisa."

The kids made their way to the kitchen, where their father was preparing breakfast.

At first, it seemed like nothing was changed.

"Uhh…...dad?"

"Morning kids. How'd you sleep?" Then their dad had dropped an egg on the floor. "Oops. Don't let the eggs out of your sight when you're preparing breakfast."

"Right…." Lincoln brought in his little sisters for a group huddle. "He doesn't seem different. He's acting the same as he did in the tryouts."

"I know," Lola said. "And it's somehow even more dorky than before."

"I don't understand it," Lisa exclaims. "The dedorkinator was set at maximum implosion."

"Hey kids, I was thinking of practicing my routine for the show. I think my act will really have everyone _moo_ -ving out of their seats. Get it? _Moo_ -ving. It's the sound cows make."

To the kids, that pun was not a success.

* * *

Lincoln was later at Gus' with his friends Clyde, Rusty, Zach and Liam.

"Of all the fathers in the world, I had to get mine," Lincoln sighed. "If he does that dorky act of his, I can never show my face again."

"Welcome to my realm." Lucy (along with Lana, Lola and Lisa) pops up from a booth behind the one Lincoln was sitting.

"What are you guys doing here?"

"We needed a place to hide in case we die of humiliation," Lola answered.

"That, and we were hungry for pizza," Lana adds.

"Like I said," Lucy continues, "it'd be easier to just pack up and move to another planet."

"For once, I sympathize with you older sister," Lisa stated.

Lincoln rolls his eyes. "Now you know how I feel when you guys humiliate me."

"I don't know," Clyde shrugs. "Being humiliates isn't so bad. It kinda reminds me of that time I accidentally wore my pajama pants to school. But eventually, time passes and people forget…..at least most of them do."

Lincoln just let out a sigh.

Then Ronnie Anne joins the group. "Hey Lincoln. Listen, sorry I teased you yesterday. I was just playing along. Nothing personal, it's just I have a…."

"Reputation to maintain, I know," Lincoln finishes. "So how come you guys aren't doing anything with your father's in the show?"

"My dads had to write a sick note," Clyde states.

"Mine too," said Rusty.

"My dad's too busy with his antiquing spree," said Zach.

"Yeah," Liam explains. "And after last year's tractor incident, my pa's banned from the Father's Day Frenzy for life."

"Wish I was," Lincoln lamented. He then turned to Ronnie Anne. "What about you?"

"My dad's out of town," Ronnie Anne answered. "I don't get to see him a lot, but I still keep in touch."

"Well that's good to know."

Then Chandler McCann came in. "Hey Loud. I hear your dad's act is basically the total opposite of me."

Then Girl Jordan stepped in. "I'm gonna upload a video of it to the internet for everyone to see."

Then the duo walked away laughing.

Lincoln hung his head on the table. "Great, like I didn't need to feel any lower than dirt. This can't possibly get any worse."

Just then, his phone buzzes showing a text message from Rita saying that their father was gonna be picking the kids up and should arrive at any minute.

"Why did I have to speak too soon?"

"Hey," Lana thought. "You ever find it strange that whenever someone says 'things can't possibly get any worse', they always do?"

"Ironic, isn't it?" said Lucy.

Just then, a vehicle arrives outside the parking lot. But this vehicle wasn't a bike or a car, but a motorcycle. Then the doors of the arcade flew open, and in stepped Lynn Loud Sr. But instead of being dressed in his usual sweater, he had on a black leather jacket and a slicked back haircut.

The kids were all shocked. "D-d-d-Dad?"

"That's my name kid. Don't wear it out."

Even Lisa was astonished. "Unbelievable! The dedorkinator 3000 did work. The density of our fathers cranial cavity must have temporarily impeded the ray and created a…"

"Uh, cut to the chase, Lisa," Lana interrupted.

"Very well. Our father is cool."

When Lori came to the front desk, even she was surprised. "Uhh…...can I help you mister?"

"The name is Loud. _Lynn_ Loud."

"What would you like?"

"Chocolate shake. Shaken, not stirred. And put a little something special on top for me, okay?"

"As you wish."

As I said, everyone in the arcade was surprised.

"I can't believe what I'm seeing!" Said Ronnie Anne.

"Yo Lori? Does that thing work?" Her dad said pointing to a jukebox.

"It should."

"Then let's give it a whirl." Lynn tosses a quarter into the machine.

Then rock and roll music began playing, and the lights went dim as he took out a guitar and started jamming.

However, Chandler was also surprised, but in a not so good way. "The Loud's Dad is out-cooling me? I better slip away before this blows over." And so he ran out the door.

"Hey, does anyone know why Chandler just ran out of the arcade?" Clyde asked.

"Who's Chandler?" Girl Jordan sighed dreamily.

As soon as the music stops, everyone began crowding over the Loud father.

"Uh, Mr Loud, sir?" Clyde requested. "Will you sign my pizza?"

"Later kid."

"Mr Loud, you are one styling dad," Girl Jordan complimented.

"Why thank you, doll face."

Next was Lola. "Are you gonna sing that show at the Father's Day Frenzy on Friday?"

"You know it sweetheart."

Ronnie Anne was a little unconvinced. "Something's fishy here, and I bet your sister had something to do with this. But I gotta admit, your dad is cool."

"Of course he's cool," Lincoln replies. "He's a Loud."

"Come on kids. Let's blow this pop stand." Their father let the kids outside, where they all hopped on board a motorcycle. "So long everybody!"

With that, they drove off.

"Where'd you get the motorcycle?" Lincoln asked.

"I sold that old piece of scrap metal I used to drive because now I got a new rule. If it ain't cool, it ain't Loud! Hang on tight kids. It's gonna be a wild ride."

* * *

As soon as they got home, they couldn't wait to tell their mom the news.

"Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!"

They happened to find Rita in the dining room and began talking all at once.

"Dad bought a motorcycle!"

"He's gonna sing at the show!"

"He's wearing cool new clothes!"

"You gotta see!"

Then Rita turns and saw her husband in styling new duds. "Wow! Lynn! You're so….shiny!"

"Like what you see, sugar pie?" Lynn said.

"So what do you think?" Lincoln asked. "Isn't he cool?"

"Oh yeah," Rita said. "He's definitely cool."

"You ain't seen nothing yet," said Lynn.

* * *

Of course, things started out okay, but as the days went on, that's when the fun would fade away. As Lynn Sr. kept singing at the arcade, more and more fans came in making it near impossible for the Loud kids to see.

And that wasn't the only downside, because of their dad's new cool personality, he barely made any time to spend with his own kids to the point where they began feeling lonely.

Things weren't much better at school either.

In the hallway, Lincoln's friends were arguing among each other.

"No way Rusty!" Shouted Zach. "You're not as big a fan of Lincoln's dad as I am!"

"Oh yeah? What's his favorite color?"

"Uhh…...magenta?"

"Wrong! It's shamrock green. What does he like to do on rainy day afternoons?"

"Take long walks on deserted beaches?"

"Wrong! Listen to contemporary jazz through headphones. And you call yourself a fan."

"I really gotta get me some new friends," Clyde states to himself.

Then Lincoln came in and slumped against his locker. "Hey guys."

"Hey Lincoln. So what kind of cool stuff did your dad do last night? Did he ask about me?"

"No. Listen guys, I'm getting worried about my dad."

"Does he need a bodyguard guard?" Liam asked. "Because I've been picking up a few techniques from Virginia."

"No. He doesn't need protection."

"What's the matter Lincoln?" Clyde asked.

"I'm starting to feel a little neglected. I like my dad being cool, but he's never around, and we never do anything together."

"I get what you mean, buddy."

"Since you brought up your dad, can you get me his autograph?" Rusty asked. "Since I'm his number one fan?"

"I'm his number one fan Lincoln!" Zach argues. "I like him way more than Rusty!"

"Guys!" Lincoln interjected. "This is my dad you're talking about! And it's really creeping me out."

"Sorry. Can I still get his autograph?"

"Ugh! That's it!" Lincoln stormed off, not wanting to talk about it anymore.

* * *

Meanwhile, after his last jam session, Lynn Sr. was about to head home on his motorcycle, when he was approached by a familiar man in a limousine.

"Lord Tetherby is the name. You're the father of that little old bean in that golden limo, are you not?"

"Yeah," Lynn answered. "So what if I am?"

"I saw your ad."

"So what do you want? A medal?"

"Let's just cut to the chase. You are the single coolest mogul in the world today. What would you say if I had an offer for you?"

"Let me guess, you wanna make me rich?"

"Oh no. I'm gonna make you _super_ rich. Not quite as wealthy as me, but still wealthy."

"Well, when you put it that way, I accept."

The two shook hands.

* * *

Back at home, Lincoln was sitting quietly at the dining room table.

It wasn't long before Lucy, the twins and Lisa joined in.

"Hey Lincoln," Lana greeted. "What's eating you?"

"Nothing. Just neglect."

"Same here big brother," said Lisa.

"Things haven't been the same since dad went to cool," sighed Lucy.

"He hasn't been attending any of my tea parties," Lola lamented.

"And he was supposed to help me give Hops a sponge bath," said Lana. "And I didn't even get a bedtime story."

"And I haven't been able to watch _Legends of the_ _Hidden Temple_ with him in days." Lincoln banged his head on the table. "This is all our fault."

"So you're the ones behind this!"

Lincoln and the little girls looked up and saw that Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan and Lynn Jr were giving them the stink eye.

"I should have known that one of Lisa's gizmos did something like this."

"And here I thought dad was just going through a phase," Lynn scoffs.

"We couldn't help it!" Lincoln defended. "After the Father's Day fiasco, we couldn't take being humiliated anymore. We thought having him be cool would be great, but he's just not the same dad anymore. He's never around for us like he used to be."

the older sisters felt somewhat sympathetic.

Luna tried giving them a pep talk. "Dudes, you wanna know why we have to put up with popstar's crazy antics?"

"It's because we love dad," Leni continues. "And it makes him happy to do things with us."

"I know you guys are afraid of looking foolish in front of everyone," said Luan. "But sometimes in life, you're gonna end up being foolish no matter what."

"Oh yeah?" Lola retorted. "It's not like you're any better. Don't you guys care about your peers making fun of you?"

"Yes," Lynn argues. "But we care about being a family even more. We all get embarrassed all the time, but we'd rather be laughed off the face of the earth than have our family be torn apart. And that's something you should have thought of."

"We wouldn't force you to go out on stage," Lori concludes. "All we're saying is it would've made dad happy if you joined him."

The older sisters left the kitchen. And Lincoln and his little sisters all bowed their heads in shame.

"What have we done?" Lucy sighs.

"I feel like a real heel," Lola says. "And I don't mean the shoes I'm wearing."

"I feel lower than mud in a deep swamp," her twin adds.

"This is all our fault," Lincoln muttered. "We're the ones who made him cool."

"Technically," Lisa corrected. "It was my invention that altered his personality."

"Yeah, but still. If we didn't worry so much about looking stupid, none of this would have happened. We gotta tell him."

"You mean _you_ gotta tell him," Lola points.

"What? Why me?"

"Lincoln, think about it," Lana explains. "You're one of the best talkers in this house."

"She's right, you know," said Lucy.

"Besides, this is our dad we're talking about. You're a boy. Surely he'll listen to you. Please?"

The kids saw their dad come through the front door and to his room. Lincoln looks back at his sisters.

"I guess it's worth a shot."

"In that case, you'll be needing this." Lisa hands Lincoln her gadget.

So Lincoln went into his father's room while he was combing his hair.

"Hey dad. You wanna watch _Legends of the Hidden_ _Temple_ with me? Or we could dust off your tie collection and place them in alphabetical order like we used to."

"Yeah sure. And maybe I'll watch some grass grow."

Lincoln looks disappointed. "Oh. Well okay. I just thought it would be nice if we could do something together. But I have something to tell you."

"No time kid. I gotta go."

"But it's really important! And I…"

His dad began to leave, but Lincoln knew it was now or never.

"Dad! Listen to me!"

"Nutshell it for me junior. I've got a public to thrill. You got sixty seconds. Go."

"Okay! After the rehearsal for the Father's Day Show, me and my sisters wanted a cool dad. So Lisa invented the dedorkinator to change you (even though I still say she gave it a stupid name), but now we want the old dad back! The real you! So I'm just gonna reverse this and…"

"Whoa, woah, woah! Cool your jets there son. I dig what your sister did to me. In fact I wanna be _permanently_ cool."

"Dad! No!"

But it was too late. Lynn snatches the gadget and threw it to the floor, destroying it. "Old daddy is bye bye baby. I'm going all the way to the top. Concerts, movies, maybe even an animated series. Nothing's gonna stop me!"

"But dad….we miss you."

His father kneels down to his face. "Okay, okay. I get it. I get it. Tell you what. You guys can watch me on TV tomorrow night before I leave on my world tour, eh? Be back in a year or two. Have your people call my people."

Lincoln watched his dad head out the door, feeling more depressed than ever.

* * *

Minutes later, Lincoln and his little sisters were in Lisa's room.

"Well that could've been a lot worse," Lola commented.

"Could have been a lot better too," Lucy adds. "This is even worse than the time he bought that new van."

"Again," Lana growls. "we can certainly do without any reminders."

Lincoln groaned. "Ugh! What are we gonna do? If we don't change our dad back by tomorrow night, we may never see him again. There's gotta be a way to bring the old dad back. But how?"

"I wish I knew," Lana sighs. "I really miss the old days with dad. The dinners he cooks for us, the bedtime stories, that time he helped me when I fell out of a tree, not to mention helping me give the van a tune up…"

"Hold it!" Lisa interrupts. "Lana, what was that you said?"

"Giving the van a tuneup?"

"No, no. _Before_ that."

"Dad saving me when I fell out of a tree?"

"Yes! That's it! That's our answer!"

"I smell a plan coming on!" Lola grinned.

"Oh is that what that is? I thought it was the cheeseball i've been saving since I was three." Lana pulled the cheese ball out of her overall pocket. "I call him Chuck."

Everyone just looked disgusted.

"As I was saying," Lisa continues. "All we have to do is reawaken our father's paternal instinct."

"How are we gonna do that?" Lincoln asked.

"By putting you in suspenseful danger."

"Oh, okay…...wait! WHAT?!"

"We'll go down to the TV studio and place Lincoln in some sort of danger. Our father's paternal instinct will be awakened, and he'll turn back into our own dad."

"Hold on you guys," Lincoln objected. "I'm all for getting the old dad back, but I am NOT putting myself in suspense."

"You won't _actually_ be in danger, Lincoln. Our father just needs to _believe_ that you are. Ergo, it will appear as though you are falling to your death, but you'll be perfectly safe thanks to my microfiber optic tether net. So thin, it appears invisible, yet it's strong enough to hold a pachyderm (street name: elephant)."

"I don't know, guys."

"Come on Lincoln!" Lana begs. "It's the only way to get the old dad back! Just do it for us, please?"

Lana and the others gave Lincoln the puppy dog eyes (okay, so it's hard to tell with Lucy, since her eyes are covered by her hair).

"Oh, why is so hard to resist those eyes?" Lincoln muttered. "Fine. But if I get hurt in anyway, you owe me big time."

"Fair enough," Lisa shrugs. "Now let's vamoose."

* * *

The kids just arrived at the TV studio whilst their father was getting ready to perform.

They were discussing their plan on the rafters.

"Now here's how the plan works," Lisa explains. "Lincoln will hang on the edge and try to get his attention. Lucy and I will give the twins the signal to activate the microfiber optic net just before he falls. Everyone got that?"

"You can count on us Lisa," Lola salutes.

"Are you ready Lincoln?"

Lincoln was still nervous, but went along anyway. "Okay, I'm in. But let's make this quick. I kinda have a fear of heights."

"Join the club, big brother," Lana said before running off.

"Okay," Lisa announces. "Lola, Lana, wait until I say 'one, two, three' and then press the green button."

"Got it." But Lola was slightly confused. "Wait, does Lisa mean we go _after_ three, or is she gonna give the signal _on_ three?"

"Alright Loud," said Tetherby. "You're on in two minutes."

"LT, I am always on," Lynn Sr. said.

The stage was set, the lights came down, and up the curtains flew.

"Let's get this show on the road. Time is precious. But not as precious as me."

Then everyone heard a shout coming from the roof. It was Lincoln of course. "Help! Help!" He shouts, trying to sound convincing. "Someone save me before I fall to my most certain death!"

"Ugh! Will someone, and I don't mean me, take care of that annoying kid please?"

"Help me! Help me!"

"Will someone quiet that brat down? I am trying to create magic here!"

Meanwhile, the twins were still arguing.

"Then what's the signal?!" Lola shrieks. "Is it a hand signal or a wink or a nod?! I can't take the pressure!"

Lana grew concerned. "Uh Lola? I think you need a time out."

"Dad! Help! It's me! Lincoln!"

"Hey, will the bozo with the rude son named Lincoln please do something?" Lynn rudely asked. "I've got people waiting to enjoy me!"

"Dad! Help!"

"Ugh, kid move! You're blocking my spotlight!"

"Dad! It's me! Lincoln!"

"Hey, kid. In case you haven't noticed, this is the _Lynn Loud Show_. Not the _Help me Dad, it's Lincoln Show."_

Now with Lincoln still hanging from the ledge, it was time for Lisa to give the twins the signal. "Okay guys. Engage microfiber optic net. One, two, three, go!"

Lana got the message. "Lola! That's the signal!"

"Oh it is, is it? Or maybe it's a code! Or a test! Or Linky could be an evil robot! Or it could be all a dream!"

"That's it! Give me that!" Lana had enough and tried to snatch the remote from Lola. "I'm relieving you of your command!"

"Let go of it, Lana!"

"Lola! If you're not gonna do your job right, then don't do it!"

"Let go!"

"No, you let go!"

"I said let go! And I mean let go!"

The twins kept on fighting until they both broke the remote in half. Once they noticed, they came to a realization.

"We just loused this up, didn't we?" Lola asked.

"Sure did," Lana answered.

"And I guess that means Linky is in real trouble now?"

"Seems like it."

"Should we panic now?"

"Most likely."

"Okay, just checking."

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

The twins let out a loud scream after realizing that their brother was now in great danger for real.

Even Lynn Sr noticed and started growing concerned. "What? Link? Lincoln!" But it wasn't long before his cool side started to take over. "Forget the brat, loser…but my son needs me…..fame and fortune, baby…..Augh!"

Lincoln was starting to lose his grip. "Can't….hold…... on….much…...LONGER!" Finally, Lincoln started falling into the air.

"Hang on, kiddo! Dad'll save you!" Lynn leaps into the air and caught Lincoln in his arms.

Lincoln felt relieved to find that he was safe and sound, thanks to his father. "Wow! Dad! You saved my life!"

"Of course I did, Lincoln. What dad wouldn't? You okay son?"

"Yeah. I am. Thanks dad. I'm glad you're back."

"So am I. You know it's not easy being cool. And not nearly as much fun as being me."

Then a very unamused Lord Tetherby came into the scene. "Loud! What are you doing?"

"I'm talking to my son. Come on Lincoln, let's go home." Both Lynn Sr. and Lincoln started to leave.

"Wait! Where are you going? What's the meaning of this? Get back here!"

"Aw, put a cork in it you clod!" Shouted Lola.

"Well that didn't go as expected," said Lucy. "But at least dad's back to normal."

"You do realize though that you owe me big time for this screwup," Lisa reminds the twins.

"At this point, I don't really care," Lola shrugs. "I think all the suffering and humiliation we'll be going through after tomorrow is gonna be punishment enough."

But Lana thought of something else. "Actually, I think I have a better idea."

* * *

Finally, it was the night of the Father's Day Show. But in case you might be wondering about Lana's idea, well, let's just say that instead of hiding away from embarrassment, the kids decided to join their dad by playing some instruments of their own. Lincoln had a double bass, Lucy had a pipe organ, Lola was playing cymbals, Lisa had a theremin, and Lana was drumming on some pots and pans.

And to their surprise, the audience applauded their performance, including their older sisters, Rita and Lily.

"Happy Father's Day Dad."

"Aw, thanks kids," their father praises.

Lincoln turns to his sisters. "You know, that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be."

"I know," Lola agrees. "I actually expected it to be much worse."

"Indeed," Lisa confirms. "It was certainly enjoyable."

"It was definitely enough to almost make me smile," said Lucy. "Almost."

"I knew my idea would come through," Lana bragged.

The crowd was still cheering.

"Aw great job, dudes!" Luna praises. "You know, add a lead singer and you got yourselves an act."

"I'm just glad everything is literally back to normal," said Lori.

The kids all bowed with pride.

* * *

 **Well, there's the story.**

 **Now I'm not exactly sure what or when the next story will be. The reason why it's been taking so long is because I've been busy with other things and also trying to come up with new story ideas at the same time isn't exactly easy. So I apologize for the long delay, but I'm doing the best I can. And whatever story comes up next, I hope you all enjoy it.**

 **But until next time, so long everybody**

 **And happy Father's Day**


	78. Lana loses her hat

**As you would guess, a Loud House version of the _Chowder_ episode _Chowder loses his hat_. Suggested by a guest.**

* * *

It was a morning just like any other. The sun was shining, the air was clear and the roosters were crowing.

Over at the Loud House, Lana was in her room playing with her pet frog Hops. Her signature hat fell on the ground.

"Dang it!" Lana picks up her hat and tossed it over Hops. "Gotcha!"

The hat just landed on the floor. "Dang it!" So she tried it again. "Gonna get ya!"

Her hat landed on the floor again. "Dang it!" She tried once again. "Aha!"

Unsurprisingly, her hat fell flat on the floor. "Dang it! I thought playing the make-Hops-get-covered-by-a-hat game would be easier than this." Lana then got an idea. "Hey, I know! Maybe if you hop around really fast, I'll have a better chance."

Hops agrees and began leaping around in a circle. Lana took great aim and tossed her hat towards the frog, but unfortunately she missed an her hat flew right out the window.

"My hat!" Lana and Hops look out the window. "Maybe it'll blow back?" Her hat did come back for a second. "Yes!" But sadly, the wind blew it away. "No! Oh man! What am I gonna do? Without my hat, I'm nothing!"

Hops croaked.

"Yes I know I have other hats. But that one was my favorite! I've had it for as long as I can remember! I wear it all the time! It's part of who I am! I can be without it!"

Hops croaked again.

"You're right! We'll just have to go out there and find it! It couldn't have gone far."

* * *

Moments later, Lana and Hops are outside of the Loud house searching for her hat.

"Okay Hops. It's really important that we find my hat."

ribbit*

"Really, really important."

ribbit*

"Really, really, really important."

ribbit*

"Really, really, really, really, really important."

ribbit*

"Ok. But just know that it's really, really, really, really, really, really, really….."

ribbit* (translation: ALRIGHT, I GET IT!)

"Okay, let's see. If I were my hat, where would I be right now?" Lana thinks for a minute before checking the top of her head. But all she felt was her hair. "Dang it!" She then got another idea. "Hey, maybe you can try finding it using your sense of smell. Luckily I only wash it once a year so it should be easy for you to find."

Hops then found something and went over to it.

"Go get it boy! Go get my hat!" Lana follows her pet, but it turns out that the smell actually came from Flip, who was sleeping in a hammock. "Hops, that's not my smelly old hat. That's just smelly old Flip."

"Excuse me?" Flip said in annoyance. "I'll have you know that I was once a champion in a garlic eating competition. A champion I say! Champion! Now are you gonna buy something or just stand there? Because there's a standing fee."

Lana and Hops both backed away. Lana looks to the audience for a second. "You know? Frogs may not be as good at sniffing as much as dogs, but they sure know when someone puts up a stench. And I know what you're thinking. Yes I do like getting dirty, but even I have limits."

* * *

All throughout the day, the duo kept on searching for Lana's hat. But they just couldn't find it.

Finally, Lana was about to give up. "We're never gonna find my hat. Guess I'll just have to live the rest of my life without it. But what kind of life is that? What kind of life?!"

Lana began to cry. So Hops jumped on top of her head.

"Oh Hops. It's so sweet of you for wanting to replace my hat. But it's not the same." Lana looks even more sad.

Then Hops spotted Lana's hat on top of someone else's head. He croaked to get Lana's attention.

"Yes Hops. I miss my hat."

Hops croaked again.

"Wait! My hat?" Lana turns and sees her hat on someone else's head. "It is my hat!" Lana ran after the kid. "Hey come back!"

Finally, she managed to catch up to the kid. "Oh thank goodness! You've found my hat!"

"You're hat? This isn't your hat. This is my hat. I found it."

"But it has my name written on the inside."

The kid looks inside, but the writing wasn't even legible. "That's just a bunch of scribbles."

"Yeah, I kinda wrote that when I was two," Lana clarifies. "Back then, my siblings used to call my handwriting tragic. But listen….uh…"

"Chester. Call me Chester."

"Right, Chester. Listen, I'm really gonna need my hat back."

"Well I'm not giving it to you. I found it fair and square. Therefore, it rightfully belongs to me."

"But…"

"That's the rule."

"But…."

"You gonna break the rule?"

"No, but…."

"That makes you a thief! Hey everyone! We got a thief right here!"

"No! Stop please! That's not me! I'm not a thief! Can I at least say…..goodbye?"

"Okay fine, but make it quick. I haven't got all day." Chester handed the hat to Lana.

Lana starts getting tears in her eyes. "Well I guess this is goodbye old friend. I know I've only known you for a few years but I can't imagine life without you. I'll always have my memories. I'll never forget your bright red color, or how you always kept my hair down, or those times I was able to hide things under you when I put them on top of my head." Lana began feeling even more sad as her voice started breaking. "I even remembered those times when I started fixing things. You were always there with me, keeping my head nice and warm and….."

"No, no stop! No more sad talking! I can't take it anymore!"

"Sorry. My sad talk tends to make people cry."

"I can see that. Listen, if you really care for it, I'll make you a sweet deal."

Lana perks up. "I love sweet deals!"

"I'll trade you back your hat for a briefcase."

"A briefcase?"

"A briefcase."

"Why a briefcase?"

"Don't ask questions. If you can find me a briefcase, then you can have your hat back."

"Oh, okay. It's a deal." Lana looks around and found a businessman. She tried to take the briefcase, but ended up getting caught.

"Hold it right there missy!" The businessman exclaimed. "What are you doing with my briefcase?"

"I need to trade this for something important."

But the man snatched it back. "Get your own! Kindly skedaddle."

"But mister, I need that to get my hat back!"

"Your hat you say?"

"Yeah. My favorite red hat. It's a part of me. Without it, I don't even know who I am anymore."

"You don't say. Say no more. Listen, I'll make you a deal. If you can find me a soulmate, I'll gladly give you my briefcase."

"You sure you can't just give it to me for free?"

"Have you ever been to business school before? You gotta give something to get something. That's the way of life." Then he spotted a beautiful woman walking her dog over by the fruit stand. "There she is! Go little one. Go get her for me and you can have as many briefcases as you want."

Without hesitation, Lana ran over and tried to get her attention.

"Uhh…...excuse me miss? Miss?"

But it didn't seem to work, so…

"HEY I'M TALKING TO YOU!"

Fortunately, that got her attention. "Sick her Humphrey!"

Unfortunately, her dog started attacking her.

"Look lady…...OW…...I'm not looking for any trouble…...AHHH…...I was just trying to ask you…...AHHH…...to go on a date!"

The lady giggled. "Oh I'm sorry little girl. But you're out of my league."

"What, no. Not with me. With that guy." For a minute, it looked as though Lana was referring to Chester.

"Oh he's way too young for me."

"No, not him. Him." Lana was actually referring to the businessman who was hiding behind a lamppost.

"Ooooohh…..well he is cute. But first there's something you need to do for me."

"Anything!"

"My dog Humphrey wore himself out today. He needs liquid refreshment, and he's very picky. He'll only drink mountain spring water."

"Mountain spring water? Where am I supposed to find a mountain?"

Hops croaked and points right in front of her, and there was indeed a mountain.

"Oh."

* * *

About an hour later, Lana went with Hops climbing the mountain.

"Ah…..good thing I took up rock climbing," Lana pants. Then right in front of of her was a pool full of, you guessed it, mountain spring water. "Cool, refreshing, mountain spring water."

Lana took out a cup, but just as she was about to take a sample…..

"Halt!" Lana saw a gigantic mountain monster right in front of her. "That's my spring! None shall take of it!"

Lana tried to scoop some up…..

"None shall take it!"

Then she tried again….

"None shall take it!"

Then again….

"None shall take it!"

And again…..

"None shall take it! What part of none shall take it do you not understand?"

Then one more time….

"Gimme that!" The monster took her cup. "What is wrong with you?"

Lana took a deep breath and explained everything in rapid speed. "But mister monster sir, I need that mountain spring water to feed it to a dog so that his owner will go on a date with a businessman so he can give me his briefcase so I can get my hat back, and it's something I really, really need!"

"Hmmm…..I'm detecting a pattern here," the monster says to the viewers. "Okay kid. Bring me a fancy tea set and you shall have your water."

"Okay!" Lana walks off repeating to herself. "Tea set, tea set, tea set, tea set….."

* * *

During a montage, Lana first went to Lola's pageant hall where she made a deal with the girls to trade the tea set for a red yo-yo.

Skippy had a yo-yo that he wanted to trade for snow boots, which needed to be traded for duct tape to be traded for tweezers and a whole bunch of other stuff (too many to name) to be traded for a magic wand which in turn must be traded for a hat.

"Hat? I can do that!"

Then Lana went all the way back to the beginning.

"Hey Chester? To get your briefcase, I'm gonna need that hat."

"And why?"

"It's a long story and I'd rather not go into it."

Chester was reluctant, but gave it to her anyway. "Alright, but I've got my eye on you."

And so, through another montage, Lana traded everything to their respective requesters. In the end, everyone got what they wanted, except…..

"Hold on. Something's missing."

Lana noticed that something wasn't right. As it turns out, her hat was on the magicians head instead.

"Oh right. Um…...I'm gonna need that hat back."

"Okay," the magician exclaimed. "But I'll need my magic wand back."

Hops croaked and gave an 'uh-oh, here we go again' look.

* * *

So Lana traded everything back.

"Done again." But then she noticed that her hat still wasn't on her head. "Hey!"

Chester has it. "Mine!"

"Dang it!"

So she tried the whole trade charade again.

"Dang it!"

Then again…

"Dang it!"

Then again…..

"Dang it!"

Then…...

"ENOUGH!"

Finally, Lana was fed up with it. Then she started getting upset.

"I can't take this anymore! Everyone's getting what they want and I still can't get back what I want. What's the point anymore? Come on Hops. I guess we'll just have to go home…...without my hat."

Lana gathered her pet frog and headed on home, dragging her feet with tears in her eyes.

That is until…..

"Hold it kid."

Lana stopped for a minute as soon as she heard Chester's voice.

"Listen…..uh…..Lolo is it?"

"It's Lana actually."

"Right Lana. Look, I can tell you really care about this hat, and I can see that the trade didn't go so good as I would've expected it too. But I'll tell you what, I'll let you have it back, but there's something you have to do for me in return."

"What? What is it? I'll do anything!"

"Anything?"

"Anything! Anything you want! I just want my hat back!"

After thinking it over, the two kids finally came to an agreement.

* * *

Finally, Lana arrived home with her red signature cap back on her head.

Lincoln saw her come in while he was on the couch. "Hey Lana. You look happy."

"Yep," Lana answered. "It took a while, but I finally got my hat back."

"And how do you feel?"

"I feel great! In fact I've never felt this happy before in my life! I finally feel like me again!"

"That's great sis. But what did you do to get your hat back?"

Then Lana had an uneasy look. "Well….."

Then a familiar voice called. "Lana! You better hurry up! Your break ends in 10 minutes."

"I know. I'll be right there. I just need a snack first."

"Well, Don't take too long. Time's ticking," he said as he left.

"Sir, yes sir!" Lana salutes.

"Lana? Who was that?" Lincoln asked.

"Oh that's Chester. He said if I helped him out at his dad's bicycle shop, he'd give me back my hat."

"Oh. Okay well…..good for you."

Then as Lincoln left the room, Lana took a seat on the couch. Hops jumped out of her pocket and onto her head.

"Ahhh…...it feels good to have my hat back," Lana said to herself. "I don't know what I'd do without it."

Then she heard her twin shrieking from upstairs. "Where's my pageant tiara?!"

Lana rolls her eyes. "Well, here we go again."


	79. Ring for the Queen

**Based on the _Rugrats_ episode _Angelica Breaks a Leg_ (with a few elements from _Arthur's_ _For Whom the Bell Tolls_ thrown in).**

* * *

Today, Lynn jr, Luan, Luna, Leni and Lori are all going on a power rafting trip.

"You sure you got this covered little bro?" Lynn asked.

"Don't worry Lynn," Lincoln assures. "I've taken care of my little sisters before, I can do it again."

"We just wanna make sure everything goes fine," Luan said. "I mean we know mom and dad are gonna be home too, but we don't want you to be pressured too much when they're not around."

"Like I said, I can handle it. You go on and enjoy your trip. Though I'm not sure why they call it 'power rafting'."

"Eh, beats me," Luna shrugs. "But Lori says it's great for networking."

Just then, Lori was in the van honking the car horn. "Guys! Come on! Let's get a move on here!"

"Well, looks like we better get going," Lynn said.

"Bye Linky!" Leni hugs her brother. "Have a good time."

"You too Leni."

As soon as they left, Lincoln closed the door and went inside.

Meanwhile, in the dining room, the father was working in the kitchen, while Rita was busy writing.

It was then the little princess of the house, Lola Loud came in.

"Daddy!" She said. "I want to go to the zoo!"

"Sorry Lola. I've got a lot of recipes to prepare for this week," her dad insisted. "Maybe on Saturday."

Lola wasn't happy to hear that. So she went to ask her mom.

"Mommy! Daddy won't take me to the zoo! Can you take me?"

"Oh, I'm afraid I can't today honey," Rita states. "I've gotta get this novel finished by tomorrow. Maybe another day."

"But I wanna go now! It's not fair!"

She then left the dining room and saw Lincoln on the living room couch watching television.

"Hey there favorite big brother," she said sweetly. "What do you say me and you go out and do something? For old times sake?"

"Sorry Lo," Lincoln says. "I'm pretty booked today. The season premiere of _ARGGH_! is coming on today at five. You're welcome to watch it with me."

"Yeah…..I'll have to pass on that."

"That's what I thought you'd say. But you don't know what you're missing."

Seeing as how she didn't care for it, she decided to go upstairs to Lisa's room.

Inside, the young genius was conducting a major chemistry experiment, while Lily was sleeping in her crib.

Lola slams the door open, startling the two girls.

"Look Lisa! It's me! Lola Loud, the fabulous ribbon dancer!"

But Lisa was furious at having her work interrupted. "Lola, I'm conducting important research! I need absolute quiet!"

Lola frowns and leaves.

Then she went into her own room, and saw her tomboyish twin feeding her animals.

"Hey Lana. Wanna see me do impressions? First: Popeye the sailor. 'I am what I am and that's all that I am'. What do you think?"

Lana shrugs. "Eh, I can do it better. Watch." Lana puts on a sailor hat and talks in a pirate voice. "That's all I can stands, cuz I can't stand no more!"

Lola was less than impressed. "Nobody likes a showoff, Lana." Then she began to leave the room.

"Wait! You didn't get to see my impression of Foghorn Leghorn!"

"And frankly I don't care to see it," Lola says as she left the room.

Then finally as a last resort, Lola went into Lucy's room. She was about to open her coffin, when suddenly, Lucy popped up.

"If you leave so much as a smudge on my coffin, I'll send the spirits to come after you."

Oddly enough, Lucy's intimidation was enough to make Lola dash out the door.

"What a crummy day! Nobody wants to do anything! Nobody pays attention to me! I'm a little princess! They should be doing what I want to do! They probably wouldn't notice me even if I had an injury!"

It was then Lola got another one of her sneaky ideas.

"Or would they?"

* * *

Meanwhile in the twins room, Lana and Lisa were busy arguing.

"Look Lana! You're gonna have to trust me when I say this! There is no such thing as flying elephants!"

"Then how do you explain the one with the really big ears?"

"That was just a movie! And for the record, if elephants were meant to fly, they wouldn't weigh ten thousand pounds!"

"Oh? And I suppose next you'll be telling me that a goldfish can't walk or be friends with a cat."

"I believe you've been watching too many cartoons."

Just then, the girls heard a loud thump coming from outside the room.

"What was that?"

Everyone rushed to the bottom of the stairs and found a bowling ball, a broken plant and Lola lying on the floor holding her leg.

"Lola! What happened?"

"I can't feel my leg! I think it's broken!"

Everyone just stood in silence.

"Well don't just stand there, help me! I need a doctor!"

* * *

At the Royal Woods hospital, the parents, Lincoln, Lucy, Lana, Lisa and Lily were in the waiting room.

Just then a young kid in a doctor coat came up to them. "Mr and Mrs Long?"

"It's Loud, actually," Rita clarifies.

"Right. Terribly sorry. I am doctor Phineas Foley."

"Aren't you a little young to be a doctor?" Lincoln questioned.

"Yes, yes I am."

"A question coming from the guy who has a four year old genius for a sister," Lisa mutters.

"Anyway," Dr Foley continues. "Lola is currently in the X-ray room. We should see the results in a few minutes."

* * *

Afterwards, Dr Foley was looking through the X-ray files. However he seemed to miss the one that said Lola Loud and found one that said Lula Long. "Ah! Here we go! It appears that Lola has sustained a massive fracture in the left fibula."

"Say what now?"

Of course Lisa had to clarify. "She's cracked a bone in her left leg."

"I did?" Lola then realized since she was in a cast. "Oh I mean I did! Oh it hurts so much!"

"Hold on." Lana held up her hand. "Shouldn't we get a second opinion?"

"Now I may be young little girl," Dr Foley said. "But I know a broken leg when I see one. I'm a highly trained professional."

"Yeah right," Lana mutters. "I'm a highly trained professional mechanic at six years old and yet no one asks me for a second opinion."

* * *

Back at the Loud house, Lola was in her bed and everyone was setting everything up.

"Are you sure this is necessary?" Lola asked.

"Of course sweetie," Rita assures. "The doctor said we should keep you as comfortable as possible until you're all better."

Lisa also handed Lola a small handbell. "And if you should ever need us, just ring this bell and one of us will come running."

"And that's it?"

"It's was the best we could do." Lisa then darted her eyes towards her brother. "Because somebody broke my alarm remote by carrying it around in their back pocket."

"Hey!" Lincoln defended. "How was I supposed to know I was gonna squash it?"

"Are you in any pain, sister?" Lucy asked.

"A little. But I'll be fine."

"That's my little trooper," the father exclaimed.

Everyone then left the room. Well, everyone except Lana, who was not convinced that Lola was really hurt.

"What are you looking at, grease monkey?" Lola asked rudely.

Lana gave her a stern look. "Don't think I don't know what you're up to."

"Whatever could you mean?"

"Lola, you're my twin. I've lived with you for almost six years. I know when you're lying."

"Oh really? If I'm not hurt, then why do I have a cast on my leg?"

"There must be some mistake. You probably have just a sprained ankle or something."

"Whatever. All I know is, I have this." Lola holds up the bell.

"And just what do you expect to do with that?"

"I'll show you."

Lola rang the bell and Lincoln came rushing into the room.

"Yes Lola?"

"Linky, could you please take Lana out of the room? She's kinda bugging me."

"Sure thing." And he took Lana by the arm. "Come on Lana. Let's go."

"But…but…but!" But for her, it was too late to say anything. Lincoln had already taken her out of the room and shut the door. But Lana still had her suspicions. "Something smells fishy around here, and it's not Cliff's cat food."

* * *

Starting the next morning, Lola enjoyed having her leisure time. Mostly because everyone had to do whatever she wanted.

The first task began that same morning, when she rang the bell. Then Lincoln came into the scene.

"Morning Linky! Could you please bring me a cold drink?"

"Sure thing sis." Lincoln then ran off and came back with a milkshake. "There you go."

"Thanks Linky!"

Lincoln started to leave, but after Lola took a sip, she rang the bell and Lincoln paused.

"Linky! I don't like this!"

"What's wrong with it?"

"Less milk!"

So Lincoln went back to the kitchen and remade the milkshake. But Lola still wasn't satisfied.

"More chocolate."

So he tried it again.

"Less chocolate."

Then again.

"More milk."

And again.

"More milk and chocolate."

And again.

"Too much chocolate!"

And AGAIN! Finally Lincoln got tired and the milkshake was now a parfait.

"Oh perfect!" Then Lola took the cup and poured it all over her brother's head. "I hate chocolate milkshakes."

* * *

Later, Lola rang the bell again. And this time it was Lisa's turn. "Yes dear sister?"

"Lisa, I wanna watch TV."

"I'm afraid the only television in the house is the 47-inch flatscreen downstairs."

"I know," Lola smiles.

Lisa saw what she was getting at, so she brought the television up and placed it at the foot of her bed.

* * *

That night, Lola rang, and Lucy pops up. "Can I help you?"

"Lucy? Can you tell me a story?"

"About what?"

"Tell me a story about a princess."

"I don't know any stories about princesses."

"Then make one up."

"I'm not really good at making up stories in that genre."

"Ow! Ow! My fibula!"

"Sigh," Lucy sat on the bed. "Once upon a time, there was a little princess."

"And what was the princesses name?"

"Uh…..Nicole?"

"No."

"Vivian?"

"No."

Lucy finally got the idea. "Lola?"

"That's it Luce. Go on."

* * *

Over the next few days, everyone was stuck waiting on Lola hand and foot. Lincoln had to open and close the window, Lucy had to straighten the covers, Lisa had to bring in refreshments, and even Lily had to help fluff up the pillows. And to make matters worse, Lynn Sr. and Rita had to also assist whenever they got home from work, which was a lot more stressful than what they had to put up with on a normal basis.

But in the middle of the week, the jig was up. Lana was requested to bring Lola a platter of cookies.

"Ugh! I can't believe this! We've been at this for days and I'm stuck bringing Lola fresh baked cookies? What does she take me for? I'm a handyman, not a pastry chef."

She was about to knock on the door, when she heard a faint sound that caught her attention. She put her ear to the door and heard the sound of footsteps. It was then Lana got really furious.

"Aha!" Lana burst through the door and pointed towards her twin, who was standing up as if her leg was never broken in the first place. "I caught you!"

Lola quickly ran back into her bed. "Uh…...no! You didn't see anything! Pay no attention to the girl standing up with a cast on her leg!"

"Stop faking Lola! I _saw_ you! You were standing on both feet right in front of me! My eyes don't lie! Oh boy! When everyone finds out, you're gonna be in a heap of trouble!"

Then quick as a flash, Lana ran down the stairs. "Guys! Lola's faking! I saw her walk! She made her way over to her table with her cast on and I saw her! She's lying!"

"Lana, I know Lola lies a lot," Lincoln said. "But why would she lie about a broken leg?"

Lana slaps her forehead. "Because she likes being sick! She gets whatever she wants! And we have to be her slaves!"

"But Lola also loves to play," Lucy states. "So she still seems hurt. I'm sure she really is."

Lana growls as Lincoln tried to console her. "Lana, I know these past few days have been hard for you. In fact they've been hard for all of us, but it won't last long. The doctor said she can get out of bed as soon as her leg is healed."

But Lana was determined to prove Lola's faking once and for all.

So she snuck into Lisa's room and tiptoed her way towards her monitors.

"For once I'm glad Lisa installed this. I'm sure she won't mind."

Lana presses the rewind button and plays it back. But when she did, she found that the tape had been replaced by a Blarney the Dinosaur sing-along video.

"Dang it!"

She then slammed her face on the desk in frustration.

But she still didn't give up when she got knocked down.

Next she went into Luan's room to search for her video camera.

"Aha! I knew it was here. And now it's time to expose this faker once and for all."

She ran straight to her room and bursted through the door, only to find…...nothing.

"What? Where'd she go?"

Suddenly, Lola popped up in front of the camera, scaring her and making her fall flat on her butt.

"Nice try Lans. I maybe 2 minutes younger, but I'm 10 minutes smarter."

Then Lola shuts the door as Lana bangs her head on it repeatedly.

"Double dang it!"

* * *

Later, Lana was lying on the couch. "So now she knows that I know. And she's being really secretive, and I'll never catch her. I don't get it. I mean I know my twin. I know when she's lying and when she's being serious. But now I'm not so sure if I know her as well as I think I do. After all, she loves being the center of attention. Could it be that I'm jealous of her? What do you think?"

Lana looks to the side and her psychiatrist was revealed to be her pet frog. Her frog just croaked with confusion.

"You know Hops? Even if you don't use words, you're still a good friend to talk to."

Just then, the bell rang again.

"Ugh! Better go see what Lola wants."

Lana headed up the stairs dragging her feet and slumping her shoulders.

Hops decided to follow her, so he made his way to the twins room and listened to the twins arguing behind the door.

"Absolutely no! I told you already! I'm not playing slapjack anymore!"

"Uh, uh, uh, remember you still owe me for that time I helped you clean out your terrariums?"

"Ugh! Fine! I'll play slapjack, but only one game."

"Make it two."

"Okay! Two games, but that's it! Now I gotta go!" And Lana left the room and slammed the door behind her. She looked down and saw Hops standing right by her feet. "Don't ask."

* * *

Later that night, all the kids were heading to bed. But when Lincoln went into his room, he found that he had a surprise guest.

"Lana? What are you doing in my room? And why are you in my bed?"

"I don't wanna talk about it!" Lana grumbled.

"Is it because you're fed up and you don't wanna be in the same room with your twin because she's getting carried away with her bell and nobody will believe you when you're trying to prove that she's lying?"

Lana went wide-eyed. "Okay, maybe I didn't need to talk about it. But yes that's why. So can I bunk with you tonight?"

"I don't know, Lana. I'm not sure if I feel comfortable with you staying in here. This is my private fortress, sis. It's the only place in the house I can escape for solitude during the day."

"But I'll only be here at night! Besides, I'll just be sleeping in your bed. And I don't even snore that loud. You won't even know I'm here. Please Lincoln? I promise I won't get in your way. Please?" Lana was now on the floor, begging on her knees.

Lincoln gave in as always. "Oh okay. You can stay. But just for one night. And stay on your side of the bed."

"You got it, big bro."

As the two siblings drifted off to sleep, it started out fine, but soon it was like the whole 'Space Invader' incident all over again (back when Lynn bunked in Lincoln's room).

Of course, Lana kept tossing and turning in bed, which was something Lincoln wasn't used to. And Lana wasn't used to Lincoln talking in his sleep sometimes.

But late at night was one of the worst. Lynn Sr. was heading to bed when he heard the bell and went upstairs to Lola's room.

"Daddy! I want some chocolate pudding."

"It's three o'clock in the morning, I'm tired and we don't have any chocolate pudding."

Lola started fake crying again. "Oh the pain!"

"Lola, we don't have any chocolate pudding."

"There must be a store open somewhere."

"Lola, I'm not going out at three in the morning to buy you chocolate pudding and that's final!"

Unfortunately, Lynn ended up going out to Flip's at 3 in the morning anyway.

"Where's the chocolate pudding?"

"We're out of the already made stuff," Flip said, holding out a can. "But we got pudding mix."

An hour later, Lynn was in the kitchen when Rita came in.

"Lynn? What are you doing?"

"Making chocolate pudding."

"It's four o'clock in the morning. Why on earth are you making chocolate pudding?"

"Because I've lost control of my life."

Lynn headed back up to the room. "Here's your pudding Lola."

"Oh that's okay daddy. I'm not hungry anymore."

It was then her father couldn't take it anymore and let out a big loud scream. So loud, that it could be heard throughout the neighborhood.

* * *

The next morning….well at this point, you can probably guess what happened. Both the parents were asleep face down on the table, Lincoln, Lily and Lucy barely got any sleep at all, and Lana was still upset because…...eh, you get the idea.

"I don't know if I can take much more of this," Lucy sighs.

"Tell me about it," Lincoln agrees. "Even the bags around my eyes have bags."

"And I haven't been able to finish my poems in peace."

"This is aggravating!" Lana said massaging her forehead.

"Now Lana," Lincoln consoled. "I know this looks bad. Okay it's beginning to get annoying, but it's not insurmountable."

Lana was shocked by Lincoln's vocabulary. "Insurmountable? Bro, you've been listening to Lisa too much."

Lincoln shrugs. "Well maybe just a little bit."

"Speaking of which, where is Lisa anyway?"

"She's volunteering at a local hospital. She should be back any minute."

Lisa came right through the back door. "Family, I've just made a recent discovery."

"What is it Lisa?" Lincoln asked.

Lisa pulled out Lola's medical file. "There's been a slight mixup at the hospital. It's seems their intern got Lola's X-ray mixed up with someone else's. Apparently Lola's leg isn't broken after all."

Lana laughs victoriously. "Ha! I knew it! I knew Lola was faking the whole time!" Then she hopped on the table and began doing a little 'in-your-face' dance. "In your face! In your face! In your face, uh huh, in your face! Go Lana! Go Lana!"

Everyone just rolled their eyes.

"Alright Lana, we get it," Lincoln said. "I guess we owe you an apology. But can you please get off the table?"

"Sure thing." And she did.

Just then, the doorbell rang, which startled both the parents. The father panicked more than the mother.

"Lynn! Honey! It's alright. It's just the doorbell."

Their father started to simmer down. "The doorbell. Yes! Of course!"

"I'll get it." Lincoln went to the door and opened it up, revealing his older sister Lynn jr. "Lynn? What are you doing back so soon?"

"We had to come back," Lynn said. "Lori had a little run-in with a kayak."

Lincoln could tell where this was headed. "Hold on. You don't mean?"

"Yep. Broken leg."

* * *

And so, moments later, Lori was stuck in bed with a broken leg. (Isn't it ironic how things turn out?) And as always, she was talking on the phone.

"Oh, it's just….you know, I can't get any cooperation here. Hold on Bobby."

Lori picks up the bell and rang.

"Guys! What's taking so long?"

Back downstairs in the kitchen, all of Lori's younger sisters (and Lincoln) were getting food out of the fridge.

"Somehow I knew something was going to bite us all in the butts," Lynn said.

"I know dude," Luna agrees. "I mean who constantly talks on a cellphone on a river raft?"

"Look on the bright side," Lincoln says trying to lighten the mood. "At least we're doing mom and dad a favor."

Lola rolls her eyes. "Some favor. Why can't we do something fun?"

"Because as long as Lori is in her cast, we need to make her as comfortable as possible," Luan clarifies. "So anything she wants, she gets."

"And believe me," Leni continues. "Lori does not like to wait."

"Wouldn't you know it?" Lola sighs. "I faked having a broken leg and then the next thing you know, one of my sisters actually does break a leg."

"What an ironic this turned out to be," Lisa stated.

"You call it ironic," Lana claims. "I call it payback. Maybe next time you'll think twice before tricking us into waiting on you hand and foot."

"Shut up Lana!" Lola growled.

Then the ringing got louder and louder. "Girls! Lincoln! I need you now!"

"Does anyone know how to make chocolate pudding?" Lincoln asked.

However, that question made Lola faint onto the floor.

Lana looks to the audience. "Talk about _double_ irony."


	80. Nurturing siblings

**Hey everyone**

 **Back yet again with another story.**

 **Now at first, I wasn't sure what else I could do next, but then after looking over the previous chapters and seeing as how I have done a few chapters based on _DragonTales_ and _Arthur_ episodes, I decided to do one based on another PBS show _Clifford the Big Red Dog_. Admittedly, this was a little difficult at first, but then again, I suppose it's better to try than not. So for this story, I've chosen the episode _Get Well_. Enjoy.**

 **Note: I do not own _Clifford_. All rights go to _Scholastic._**

* * *

On this particular morning at the Loud house, Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan and Lynn were all in bed feeling pretty sick.

Meanwhile, outside in the backyard, Lincoln, Lucy, the twins, Lisa and Lily were all sitting around looking for something to do.

"This is one boring day," Lincoln exclaims.

"I know," Lana agrees. "Even my pigtails are droopy. Why did _they_ have to get sick and not us?"

"Honestly," Lola states. "With all the stuff _you_ eat out of the garbage, I'm surprised _you_ don't even get sick at all."

This caught Lisa's attention. "That would be an intriguing theory to test."

Then Lucy pops up behind her. "Save it for later Lisa. This moment is too depressing."

"Yeah, obviously," Lola complains. "I was supposed to have my gossip session with Lori today, but _no_. She had to get sick and stay in bed."

"I know. And I had to cancel my weekly card game with Luan."

Lana lays back on the ground. "And I'm bored out of my mind sitting out here when I could be playing with my goldfish Dennis."

"Lana, you don't have a goldfish named Dennis," said Lincoln.

"Well, not _yet_ anyway. That doesn't mean I can't get one."

"Lana, you already have enough filthy animals as it is," Lola argues. "Next I suppose you'll be wanting a goldfish that can actually talk."

"Hey! At least then I'd have someone to talk to about animals!"

"I think the twins have been watching too many cartoons," Lincoln murmurs.

"Oh you have no idea," Lisa stated. "But I must say, this is getting quite tedious."

"Finally, something we can agree on," Lucy sighs.

Lincoln stood up. "Look guys, I know this is hard, but we've just gotta be patient."

Then Lola grabs her brother by the shirt and started shaking him rapidly. "UGH! You are driving me crazy with this patience business!"

"Lola!" Lincoln picked her up and gave her a stern look.

"Okay. I'm under control now," Lola said trying to sound calm.

"So what are we supposed to do now?" Lana asked.

"I don't know," Lincoln sighs. "I just wish we could make them feel better."

Lisa was about to suggest something.

"WITHOUT conducting any experiments that may result in physical mutations."

Lisa pouts.

Then Lucy spoke up. "Well, usually when mom's not feeling well, dad goes out and gets her a present. Like flowers, or a balloon or a card."

This gave Lincoln an idea. "That's it!"

The girls were confused. "What's it?"

"That's what we'll do. We'll go get them flowers, balloons _and_ a card! That'll show them how much we care!"

"And just _how_ are we supposed to get flowers without any money?" Lola questions.

"Let's just get some from Mr Grouse's yard. He's got plenty." Lana was about to hop the fence into their neighbors yard, but Lincoln stopped her in time.

"Uh, uh, uh. Those flowers belong to Mr Grouse. We can't take them."

"Why not?" Lana asked.

"Because if Mr Grouse found out, he'd be furious."

"Don't you remember?" Lola reminded. "'My yard, my property'?"

Unfortunately, Lana did remember. "Oh yeah. I forgot he had Plungey with him until Christmas. But what flowers can we take that _don't_ belong to somebody?"

"I think I know," Lucy states.

* * *

Later, the kids were at a nearby flower patch in the neighborhood.

Lana however looks less than amused. "You didn't tell me we were going to a flower patch."

"Where do you think i get the flowers for the mortician club wreaths?" Lucy asked.

"Touché. But still, no way am I going in there."

"How typical," Lola thought. "You'll roll around in poison ivy, but you won't go into a flower patch."

"Come on Lana," Lincoln encourages. "It's for our sisters. How are a few flowers gonna hurt you?"

"Ugh, fine! I'll go in, but I won't like it."

And so they went in. But as they did, Lana's mood started to brighten up a bit.

"You know, this really isn't that bad. I mean, these look kinda cool," she said pointing to a group of flowers. "I wonder what kind these are."

"I'd say they are a species of _lilium lancifolium_ , _taraxacum_ and _iris domestica_ ," Lisa observes.

"Come again?"

"Tiger lilies, dandelions and leopard flowers."

"Flowers named after wild animals? Cool!"

"Guys, shouldn't we try to stay focused here?" Lincoln reminded. "What do you think Lori and the others might like?"

"I've heard chamomile can make a person relax," Lucy said. "Plus it makes great tea."

Lana picks up a root. "What about this?"

"It's ginseng root," Lisa states. "A very rare find."

Lana took a sniff. "Ew! This smells like medicine."

"That's because ginseng roots are _used_ in some medicines."

Lola yawns. "I'd rather have chocolate."

Meanwhile, Lily found a bunch of daisies. "Daisy!" She points.

"How about if we all pick out a different flower of our own?" Lincoln suggests.

"Fine by me."

Lola grabs hold of something stringy and yellow. But when she gave them a tug, she heard a familiar cry.

"Ow!" Turns out, what Lola was pulling on was Lana's hair. "Lola! Those were my pigtails!"

"Sorry."

So the kids proceeded. Lucy took some camomile flowers, Lincoln picked some roses, Lola took some lilac flowers, Lana grabbed a few tiger lilies, Lisa decided to pick up a few jasmines, and Lily snagged a handful of daisies.

"Okay, we got the flowers," Lincoln said. Now let's see if we can find a balloon."

* * *

Next, the kids were at the park where a man was giving out free balloons.

"Looks like we made it just in time," Lincoln said.

"Yeah," Lucy said. "But the question is what color should we get them."

"Maybe a pink one?" Lola suggests.

"Blue would be nice," Lana thought.

"Or perhaps a nice _green_ one," Lisa implies.

But just as Lola was about to reach for one, a strong wind came in and blew the balloons away while Lola was still holding on.

"I got you Lols!" But as Lana tried to bring her back down to the ground, she too started to fly away.

Then the others chased after the twins.

"Don't worry guys!" Lincoln assures. "We'll get you down!"

"Please hurry!" Lana clinged onto her twin feeling a little timid.

"Uh, Lana," Lola said. "You're wrinkling my dress."

"Sorry. I'm just a little…."

"Don't tell me you're afraid of heights _again_."

"No. I'm just a little uncomfortable about being a hundred feet in the air over what appears to be a fall to certain death!"

"Come on, you're a lot tougher than I am, and you can't act brave for even one moment?"

"Hey, even tough girls have fears, you know."

"Whatever. I just hope these balloons don't pop before we get a little closer to the ground."

"True. The only way that would happen is if we ran into a FLOCK OF WILD DUCKS!"

The twins looked and saw a bunch of wild ducks. But even after they were out of the flock, the balloons were still keeping them afloat.

Lola spits the duck feathers out of her mouth. "Well at least it wasn't…"

"A FLOCK OF WILD GEESE!"

Then soon enough, a bunch of full brown geese came flying in. But the balloons still didn't pop.

But Lola got more feathers in her mouth. "Oh duck, duck, goose. Well at least it can't get any worse."

"A HERON!"

Then a big heron with a long sharp beak swooped in.

"I gotta stop saying things like that," Lola mutters. "Shoo! Shoo! Go away!"

But it was too late. The heron popped almost all the balloons, leaving the twins in midair.

Lana looks to the audience. "This can't be good."

Then the twins fell out of the sky, but luckily, they landed right into a bush.

Soon enough, Lincoln and the others caught up with them. "Guys, did you hurt yourselves?"

Both Lola and Lana came out of the bush and brushed the leaves out of their clothes and hair.

"Never better Lincoln," Lana assures. "And guess what! We saved a couple balloons. A pink one and a blue one."

"Great," Lola says. "The others can take their pick."

Lincoln shrugs. "Well you know what they say, it's better to work with what you got than to not work with anything."

"Nobody says that Lincoln," Lisa states.

"Well they should."

* * *

Finally, back in the Louds backyard, the kids were all putting the finishing touches on their card.

"Using this piece of cardboard was a great idea," Lincoln said.

"Couldn't have said it better myself," Lisa agrees. "Almost as extravagant as when we made that scrapbook."

Last to come was their signatures. Lincoln, Lucy and Lisa wrote theirs in different color marker, Lola signed her name using a glitter pen, and Lily made a handprint using lavender paint.

"It's coming along nicely," Lana thought. "But it's still missing a little something." Lana then spotted a nearby mud puddle, so she placed her hand in it and then put her handprint onto the cardboard. "Now it's perfect."

But then in an unfortunate turn of events, the wind came in and blew the card right into their neighbors yard.

"Uh oh!" Lincoln said. "It went into Mr Grouse's yard."

"So let's go get it."

"Lana! Wait!"

Just as Lana was about to jump the fence, Lincoln grabbed her by her overall straps.

"Now what?" She asked.

"Mr Grouse said we're never allowed to set one foot into his yard unless he _invites_ us," Lincoln answered.

"So what do we do?"

"I'll try to grab it." Lincoln climbed onto the fence and tried desperately to grab the card, but even his arms weren't long enough to reach it. "No good."

"Great!" Lola griped. "Of all the inconvenience. Thanks a lot Mother Nature."

"How are we supposed to retrieve it now?" Lucy wonders.

"Are you absolutely sure that Mr Grouse warned us not to set one _foot_ into his yard Lincoln?" Lisa pondered.

"That's what he said," Lincoln answered. "Yes."

This gave the young prodigy an idea. "In that case, I may have a solution."

* * *

Moments later, they began using Lisa's remote control hover drone. Lisa was using the remote with Lincoln as navigator, and the drone was hovering Lana in the air while she was holding onto Lily, and Lola….kept watch.

"Okay," Lincoln instructed, "more to the left. Little more. More to the right. Down a bit."

"Will you be quiet?" Lisa shouts. "I know what I'm doing."

"Okay Lily," Lana reminded her baby sister. "Don't let one foot touch the ground, okay?"

Lily nodded in response. But just as Lily was about to grab the card, Lana felt her hands slipping. But right as she almost dropped her, Lana grabbed Lily before she even touched the grass.

"Phew! That was close. Okay Lily, you got this now. Steady…...steady…"

Lisa lowers the hover drone closer to the ground. After trying desperately, Lily finally managed to grab the card safely without touching the ground.

"All right! Good job Lily!" Lincoln cheers. "Come on guys. Let's go present our gifts."

* * *

Back inside, the older girls were still in bed sick. Then Lori heard a knock at the door. Then both she and Leni opened up the door and saw that Luna, Luan and Lynn do the same. Then what they saw was a big….

"SURPRISE!"

There in the hallway, they saw Lincoln and their little sisters with gifts in their hands.

"Dudes," Luna coughs. "What's all this?"

"Your get well presents," Lincoln answered. "We were getting kinda lonely and we felt bad that you had to cancel all your plans for today, so we went out and got you flowers, balloons and a card to help make you feel better."

The older girls were quite touched by their siblings goodwill.

"Aw bro," Lynn said. "You guys didn't have to go through all that trouble."

"Don't be silly," Lincoln reassures. "The only thing that matters is that you get better soon. Besides, I know you'd do the same for me."

"Us too," the young girls replied.

Lori rolls her eyes with satisfaction. "What did we ever do to deserve this? Well, why don't you guys go head on downstairs?"

"Totally," Leni agrees. "We wouldn't want you guys getting sick too."

"Yeah. Wouldn't want you coming down with the flu to the ground," Luan jokes. "But seriously, we should be heading back to bed now."

"Okay, have a good rest you guys," Lincoln said.

Then as their older sisters closed their doors, Lincoln and his younger sisters went down into the living room.

"Man, what a day," Lana sighs.

"You're telling me," Lola agrees. "I might not have got to have my session with Lori, but despite all we've been through, it feels good trying to make her feel better."

"Indeed," Lisa confirms. "I'd say today proved to be quite an adventure."

"Yeah," Lincoln said. "But you know, there is one thing I learned about nurturing."

"And what might that be?" Lucy asked.

"At the end of the day," Lincoln says with a stretch and a yawn. "It can leave you feeling….pretty…..sleepy."

With that said, the kids all closed their eyes and took a nap on the couch.

Sweet dreams.

* * *

 **There's yet another story.**

 **Honestly, I enjoyed doing this one considering that the _Clifford the Big Red Dog_ cartoon is a slightly forgotten gem (despite the fact that it's returning in the near future). But it truly is one of my favorite childhood cartoons of all time.**

 **Speaking of forgotten cartoons, perhaps some of you might have caught the little reference I included about a goldfish named Dennis. If you think remember what cartoon show that was referencing, feel free to leave the answer in the reviews. (But please be polite)**

 **More stories on the way**

 **See ya next time.**


	81. A girl's best friend is her frog

**Hey everyone.**

 **Now before we begin, I'd like to point something out.**

 **In the previous chapter, for those of you who answered _Stanley_ , you were right. Yes, I too was once a fan of that cartoon when I was little. In fact, a little of the dialogue in the last story was inspired by those episodes. Now the reason why I decided to reference it was because I felt that there's a lot of cartoons that shouldn't be forgotten. And this is one of those cartoons that played a big role in my childhood.**

 **So with that in mind, I decided to base this chapter on one of the episodes from the show. In this case, it's the episode _A Boy's Best Friend is his Goldfish_. And considering that the show involves talking animals, I figured I'd include the Loud pets in it, as previously done in the chapter The Secret World of the Loud House.**

 **Enjoy**

 **Note: the _Stanley_ cartoon show is owned by Playhouse Disney/Disney Junior.**

* * *

In the Loud house, everyone was in the dining room eating breakfast.

Well…...all except for one. This one happened to be Lola's polar opposite twin sister and resident handyman, Lana Loud, who was just standing in the doorway waiting impatiently.

"Come on guys!" She shouted. "Hurry up!"

"Lana," her twin argues. "You know I hate eating on the run."

"Indeed," the young prodigy explains. "Such rapid consumption of morning nourishment will result in gastrointestinal distress." Once again, everyone was confused by Lisa's vocabulary. "Eating too fast will give us tummy aches."

"You know, maybe _you_ should eat something too Lana," Lincoln commented. "You seem a little grumpy."

"I AM NOT GRUMPY!"

Everyone was shocked by the sudden outburst. Even Lana noticed the tone in her voice, so she took a minute to calm down. "Sorry guys. I'm just so tired of waiting."

"What's so special about today again?" Leni asked.

"Leni, don't you remember? You guys promised we'd go to the pet store to go look for a present for Hops."

"Oh right," Luna remembers. "That little pet frog of yours."

"Pet? Excuse me. Hops is way more of a _friend_ than a pet."

"Okay," Lincoln said. "But why do _we_ have to come along again?"

"One: because Lori's the only one who can drive, and two: like you always say Link, things go a lot better if we all work together."

"She's right little bro," Lynn comments. "You _do_ say that a lot."

"Well, I'm not wrong about that you know," Lincoln replies. "At least _some_ of the time."

Lana started giggling with excitement. "Oooooh! I can't wait to give Hops the greatest present a frog ever had! It can't just be good. It has to be just the right one."

"Well this will be our _third_ time looking at the amphibian accessories at the pet shop," Lori stated.

"I know. But so far nothing I've seen has been perfect enough."

"I thought that miniature waterfall with built in steamers was pretty soothing," Lucy comments.

"Yeah I guess. If I gave that to Hops, he'd probably use it as a waterslide."

"Well, what other things do you think Hops might like?" Lincoln asked.

"I don't know. There was a bunch of plants and rocks…."

"And there was that cute little bird with a really long beak," Leni reminded.

Lana did not look amused. "Leni, that was a toy heron, and that's _not_ what I had in mind."

"Why not? It looked cute."

"Maybe, but herons _eat_ frogs. And I don't think Hops would like to share his terrarium with something that looks like it wants him for lunch."

"No kidding. He'd probably want to _hop_ away from it," Luan jokes. "Get it?"

Lana was even more unamused. "Joking aside Luan, it shouldn't be anything that might scare him."

"Lana, all this frog talk seems somewhat cute and all," Lola said, "but if you don't mind, I'd like to get back to my breakfast."

Lana groaned. "Okay. But _please_ don't take too long."

Once everyone was finished, they all hopped into the van and headed off. Lana was thinking and staring out the window.

Lincoln tried to be supportive. "Don't worry Lana. I'm sure we'll find the perfect present for Hops."

"We've got to Lincoln!" Lana said. "Hops is my best friend. I just hope he likes what I get him."

* * *

Back at the Loud house, all the animals, including Charles, Cliff, Walt and Geo were all in the twins room.

Hops was in his terrarium looking quite worried. "Oh boy! Oh no! Lana's gone to the pet shop again, hasn't she?"

"Yep," Walt chirped. "I just saw the car leaving a few minutes ago."

"Yeah, and not _just_ the pet shop," Geo squeaked. "I heard her say something frog related."

"Then there's no doubt about it," Hops sighs. "Lana's shopping for a new best friend frog."

"Now Hops, there's no need to jump to any conclusions about this," Charles consoled.

Just then, the door opened. In the doorway was two more pets. Luan's pet rabbit Gary and Lucy's pet bat Fangs.

"Hey guys, what's going on?" Gary asked.

"Yeah," Fangs said with a yawn. "I was in the middle of a nap."

"Hops thinks that Lana's getting a new frog," Cliff answered.

"I thought mom and dad said that they have enough animals in the house to last a lifetime."

"They do," Walt agrees. "And yet it _still_ feels like a zoo."

"Well, it looks like Lana's gonna have to get rid of me then," Hops said. "I should have known this was going to happen someday. I guess I'm just not as green as I used to be."

Then Lana's lizard Izzy popped up from under the bed. "Oh Lana would never replace you Hops," he assures. "You're her favorite frog in the whole world."

"That's exactly what I always thought. But the evidence is clear."

"Evidence?" Geo questions. "What do you mean?"

"Evidence is something that helps you make a judgement about something. For instance, my green skin and long sticky tongue and the fact that I hop around and eat flies are evidence that I'm a frog."

Walt rolls his eyes. "At least _he's_ easier to understand than Lisa."

"Come on Hops," Cliff begged. "Just because Lana's been taking all her money to the pet shop doesn't mean she's gonna buy a new pet."

"I guess," Hops sighs. "But whenever I hear her talking with Lola about why she keeps going there, all she'd say is that it's a ' _big surprise'_. And what could be a bigger surprise than being replaced by another frog?"

"A pogo stick?" Gary asked.

"Get serious Gary. What would a frog do with a pogo stick? No, it's time I face the music. Lana wants a new best friend. Probably one of those little red eyed tree frogs or something. An amphibian with a little more pizzazz than an average old run of the mill green frog like me. I can see it all now."

 _Hops imagines Lana with a new frog friend (which in this case is a fire bellied toad)._

 _"Then after dinner, we can watch tv together. Then I'll read to you and then we can draw. You know, I'm so happy you're gonna be my new best friend."_

 _In this fantasy, the toad had taken over the terrarium while Hops was watching the whole thing from inside a plastic cup._

 _"New best friend indeed," he thought to himself. "I've given that girl the best years of my life."_

Back to the present, Hops was packing his things into a suitcase.

"Well, I guess I'll just have to learn to accept it. It's fate and that's all there is to it. Still, I'll never forget the time we first met in the pond, and all the times I went to school with her. I'm sure gonna miss that girl. After all, we did have fun on our animal rescues. Saving those other frogs from dissection and saving the Fishman's home. Yep, those were the days. But now, it's the end of me being here."

"Hops, I think you're taking this a little too hard," Charles said. "I'm not worried about this, and you shouldn't be worried either."

"Oh look who's talking. Because I seem to remember when _you_ four thought you were being replaced by a little puppy."

"You mean Watterson?" Cliff questions. "Sure we _tried_ to get rid of him, but we managed to work things out and now we're on good terms."

"Whatever. The point is, it's time for me to leave. Once Lana gets a new pet, she's gonna forget all about me. Besides, what if my new replacement turns out to be a mean one? I just don't think I can take that kind of rejection."

"Hey Listen, nobody is getting replaced," Charles assures. "This is Lana we're talking about. It doesn't matter how much she plays with you. What matters is that you're here for Lana when she needs you. That's our purpose."

"Plus, don't you think she'll miss you if you go out on your own?" Geo asked.

"It's not like she'll even notice anything."

"But where will you go? The big wide world isn't exactly what you think it is."

"I'll go wherever the wind takes me. I'll probably find a nice place in a pond, or a little marsh, somewhere that reminds me of my old home. In fact…." Hops looked around and found a little lily pad with a flower on it. "I got this lily pad from my mother, back when I was just a tadpole. It's still the nicest one I've ever seen."

"It is pretty, Hops," Izzy compliments.

"You know? This would make a perfect going away present for Lana." Hops took one last look at the lily pad and shed a tear.

* * *

Back at the pet store, the Louds were all looking for a present.

Lola found a miniature frond plant with flowers on it. "How about this one sis?"

Lana shook her head. "Nah. Too flowery."

Luan was pointing to a goldfish sculpture. "How about this one?"

"Too fishy."

"Why not this one?" Leni pointed to a mobile with many different animals on it.

But Lana thought it looked weird. "Too….I don't even know what that is."

"Well you've gotta choose something," Lincoln said. "Whatever you get for Hops, I'm sure it'll be good."

"It can't just be good Lincoln. Hops is the best frog in the whole world. So it has to be just right."

"Well I suppose it's not easy choosing the perfect present for a best friend."

"Don't worry Lans," Luna consoled. "I'm sure we'll find something."

"Maybe if we knew a little more about frogs, we could find the perfect present that Hops would like," Leni suggests.

This left everyone stunned.

"Leni," Lori says. "That's actually a very smart idea."

"Thanks."

"Lucky thing I brought this along." Lisa pulls out a miniature laptop.

"What's that Lisa?" Lana asked.

"My latest invention. The universal animal analyzer. This marvel contains every known fact of all animal species."

"So this will help us choose the right present for Hops?"

"Affirmative."

"Well what are we waiting for?"

Lisa booted up the system and read what was displayed. "It says here there are approximately more than 4,700 species of frogs in the entire world. 90 of which can be found in the United States."

"Hey!" Lana pointed to a certain picture. "That one looks just like Hops."

"Precisely."

"So what does it say about taking care of a frog?" Lynn asked.

"Well according to this, since frogs are amphibians, they spend a majority of their time in the water, such as ponds, lakes and swamps. While they do occasionally climb up on land, they are to be kept out of direct sunlight and away from anything that radiates heat. Otherwise the environment becomes too hot and dry."

"Then how do you make sure it has enough light?" Lincoln wonders.

"Good question. While it is recommended to keep frogs out of direct contact with sunlight, some light is to be provided, but not as hot as a heat lamp. Also it's a good idea to keep the environment moist and humid, and refrain from putting in any sharp objects in their tanks so they don't get hurt."

Lana thought. "Okay, so to find the right present for Hops, it has to be something that feels natural and not too dry, and not too sharp."

"Well I'm sure we can find something like that," Lucy said.

"You know what they say," Luan exclaims. "A frog's pond is his home. And your home is your castle."

"Castle? That's it!" Lana knew exactly what to choose. "I know the perfect present for Hops!"

"You do?"

"Yep. It'll be natural, dark and safe. And it's right on that shelf over there!" She points.

"Well then let's go get it!" Lincoln exclaims.

And so they did.

* * *

Back at the house, the van returned with everyone in it.

"Everyone! They're back!" Walt squawked. "The kids are back! And Lana's got a package in her hands!"

"I knew it!" Hops fretted. "I told you so!"

"Now don't panic Hops," Izzy consoled. "You don't know what Lana has in that package."

Then the pets started hearing footsteps coming from the stairs. Preparing for the worst to come, Hops leaped out of his terrarium, Gary and Fangs went back to their respective rooms, and everyone else hid under the bed just as Lana rushed in with a box.

"Hops! There you are! You'll never guess what I've got in this….."

Then Hops lifted his right flipper (as a way of saying 'just a minute'). Then he reached behind his back and handed Lana the lily pad.

"What's this for?"

Hops croaked.

"You got this from your mom and you want me to have it?"

Hops croaked again.

"And no matter what happens, you just want me to know that I'll always be your favorite human?"

Hops nodded his head.

Lana took the lily pad and felt touched. "Wow. Thanks Hops. And I want you to know that you'll always be my favorite frog."

This took the little amphibian by surprise.

"And just to prove it, I got you a little present. After all, it's the least a girl can do for her best frog pal ever."

Then when she wasn't looking, Hops hid the suitcase he was packing hoping Lana wouldn't notice.

"Hops? Why are you acting so strange?"

Hops gave her a 'no reason' kind of gesture. Then he jumped onto the box.

"You want to see what I got in this package?"

Hops nodded.

"Wait till you see this." Lana opens the box revealing a toy medieval castle. Came with canon shaped sprinklers. "It's a castle for your terrarium. And I can put it in for you to play with anytime you want."

So Lana puts the castle in the terrarium and Hops leaps in to check it out. Afterwards, he jumped back out wearing a knight's armor. He was so happy, he leaped onto Lana's shoulder and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Oh Hops, you don't have to thank me. That's what friends are for."

The other pets watched from underneath the bed, and they all had a satisfied look on their faces.

* * *

That night, when everyone went to sleep, Charles, Cliff, Walt and Geo came into the twins room.

"How's it going Sir-Hops-a-lot?" Cliff greeted.

"Oh guys," Hops exclaims. "I have never felt better."

"Glad to hear it," Geo said.

"We were just going to go see Lily," Charles adds. "Wanna come with us?"

"Sure." Hops then jumped off Lana's nightstand and onto the floor.

The pets all headed to the youngest daughters' room, where they found Lily sleeping in her crib. With a stretch and a yawn, she begins to wake up.

"Hey Lily," Charles greeted.

"Hello guys. I was just getting some sleep. But please tell me, how was your day in the Loud house?"

"Well, while you were gone, Hops thought he was being replaced by another pet."

Hops shrugged. "Yeah, well. I don't think anyone would _ever_ replace me. I'm sorry I ever doubted you guys. I should have known that Lana and I will _always_ be best friends."

"It's okay," Cliff stated. "In fact we learned the same thing when we tried to get rid of Watterson."

"Yeah," Lily agrees. "Sometimes _we_ jump to conclusions too. More often than not actually. But everything's okay now, right?"

"That it is Lily," Walt nodded, "that it is."

"You guys should have seen the pets at the store. We saw cats, dogs, hamsters, birds and plenty of frogs."

"We do have a pretty big number of cousins, don't we?" Geo asked.

"We sure do," Charles said.

"I do have a number of relatives," Hops said.

"I'm just glad you're not one of those poison dart frogs," Geo states.

"Yeah. Me too. They may _look_ pretty, but you don't want to mistake them for candy."

The pets all shared a giggle.

"Although, I wouldn't mind if Lana got me a new friend. Like a toad or something."

"Let's not get carried away, Kermit," Charles laughs.

Lily yawned. "Well, we've all had a pretty long day. You guys better get going. I'll see you when you wake up."

"Yeah, we better get back to sleep. Goodnight Lily."

"Goodnight best animal pals in the world."

Then the pets left the room as Lily dropped off to sleep.

"So, what do you guys wanna do now?" Charles asked.

"Well, the night's still young," Cliff states. "What do you say we all go have a sleepover on the living room couch?"

"As long as I don't have to sleep next to Fangs," Walt groaned.

"Because he creeps you out with his sharp teeth?" Geo wonders.

"No, because he keeps me up all night."

"You guys go on ahead," Hops said. "I'm gonna go bunk with my best pal."

Charles let out a chuckle. "Goodnight Hops."

Then Hops went back into the twins room. But once he got back to his terrarium, Lana woke up and thought to herself.

"That's weird. I could have sworn I heard the animals talking in the hallway." As interesting as it was, Lana was too tired to care. "Nah, couldn't be." So she shrugged it off and went back to sleep.

In the end, Hops gave a wink to the audience.

* * *

 **Hope you all enjoyed that**

 **Now in case you're wondering, yes I might plan to do more _Stanley_ episode parodies in the future (that is if I can find a way to rewatch those episodes again).**

 **Also as you might have noticed, some of the dialogue was inspired by _Toy Story_ , since that does fit the theme of the story. **

**Honestly, I did find it a little difficult to write this one out since the only thing I found in common with the _Loud House_ and _Stanley_ was that they each have a character who loves animals. However, after seeing the episode _Frog Wild_ , I've been wanting to do a story that would focus on the friendship between Lana and Hops. Of course it's still set in a world where the animals can't actually talk to the kids, but I figured that since Lana has been friends with Hops for a long time, she'd be able to understand what he's saying (mostly).**

 **With all that said, I hope that story turned out good. Now I'm not sure what to do next for the upcoming chapter, but stay tuned.**


	82. Junk Car

**A request for eli529p**

 **Based on the _Regular Show_ episode _Trash Boat._**

* * *

In the living room, Lynn was busy watching her favorite wrestling tournament. It was then followed by an interview.

 _"I'm here with the longtime wrestling champion of Royal Woods, The Boulder. And might I say, you are at the top of your game. What's the secret to your success?"_

 _"Two words: name change,"_ the champion answers. " _Let's just say the name I was given at birth just didn't seem all that awesome. So I just changed it to something that rolls off the tongue better."_

 _"And how did come up with it?"_

 _"Well I decided to choose a random word. Something that says strength and toughness. So I just chose 'the boulder', and the rest is history."_

Lynn was amazed. "Cool! I wanna change my name into completely random words. But what words should I pick?"

Lynn looks around the room, but all she saw was a pile of junk (including her sports equipment). Then when she looked out the window, all she saw was Vanzilla.

Lynn thought about it and got an idea.

* * *

Later that day, Lincoln was in the dining room eating a sandwich when Lynn comes in with something behind her back.

"Yo Stinkoln. What would you say if I changed my name to…..Junk Car?"

Lincoln was silent for a moment. "I'd say you're completely ridiculous."

"What? Why? You mean you wouldn't think it's cool?"

"Not if you're changing your name to Junk Car. It sounds like a motor vehicle being turned into scrap metal." Then Lincoln thought about why his sister was asking him that question. "Wait! You're not _actually_ thinking about changing your name, are you?"

"Uhh…..no?"

But her brother got more suspicious. "What's that behind your back?"

"Nothing."

"I know _something's_ there sis, just let me see."

"Mind your own business. It's nothing and that's all there is to it." Lynn walked backwards until she bumped into a wall, which made whatever she was hiding fall out of her hands.

Lincoln picked it up and saw that it was a framed certificate. "A Certificate of Name Change? You actually did it?"

"Gimme that back!"

"Oh man! Just wait until everyone hears about this! Hey everyone! Lynn Loud Junior just changed her name!"

"Wait! Link! Come back!" But it was too late. Lincoln was already out of earshot. "I've got to change my name back."

* * *

Lynn went straight to the Royal Woods courthouse.

"Can I help you ma'am?" The receptionist asked.

"Yeah. I wanna change my name back to Lynn."

"That'll be $50."

"What?!"

"It's $50 to change your name. Otherwise you're stuck with it for life."

"But that's not fair! I only have $5."

"Then I guess our time here is up. Move it along."

"Ugh!" Then Lynn stormed off in a huff.

"Next."

Then a man approached the counter. "Uh, I'd like to change my name back to Kyle."

"That'll be $50, Mr. Ludicrous."

* * *

Back at the Loud house, Luna was looking through her binoculars and saw Lynn was on her way back home.

"Yo dudes! Junk Car is back!"

Soon enough, everyone came out of the house one by one.

"Oh Junk Car," Leni greets.

"Junk Car!" Lana sang.

"Hey Junk Car!" Lola taunted.

Lynn points towards her brother. "Did you have to tell everyone?"

"Yes. It's that funny," Lincoln said trying to hold back his laughter. "Junk Car!"

Soon everyone else began laughing too.

"When Lincoln told us," Lori explained. "We thought it was only right to welcome you back as a new person. A new person named Junk Car. Oh and we also got you one of these."

Lori took out a sticker that said ' _hello, my name is Junk Car_ ' and placed in on Lynn's shirt.

Of course she wasn't amused. "Yeah, whatever. Look, are there any extra chores that you need me to do?"

"Extra chores? Wow! You really _are_ a new person."

"I'm serious! I need $50 so I can change my name back!"

"Well sorry to bust your bubble, or rather flatten your tire," Luan jokes. "But seriously, everything's taken care of."

"Yeah dude," Luna said. "The twins already did all the extra work."

"Yeah," Lola confirms. "So don't go asking us for money, because I just spent all mine on glitter."

"And I spent mine on dog biscuits," said Lana.

"But aren't those things really cheap?" Lynn questions.

"Not when you purchase a 10 pound bag."

"So let me get this straight, none of you have any money you can lend me?"

They all shook their heads.

"Oh come on! What am I supposed to do now?"

The Louds thought. Then Lori came up with a suggestion. "Well if you're that desperate, there is one thing you could do."

* * *

Later, Lynn was in the front yard raking the leaves. Suddenly, two hooligans named Hawk and Hank walked past the house and threw a candy wrapper on the ground.

Of course, Lynn was not happy. "Hey dweebs! No littering! If you have junk, use a trash can."

The two turned around and noticed Lynn's name tag.

"Well why throw out junk in a trash can when you have a junk car to take care of it?" Hank taunted.

Then they both walked away laughing, making Lynn furious.

"Urgh! This new name stinks!" Then she took the tag off her shirt and threw it on the ground.

Then Lori came by. "Hey twerp. You're job is to clean up the yard, not make a mess of it. And put that tag back on."

"What? But name tags are only for new people."

"Exactly. New name, new person. Now put it back on or else."

Lynn did as she was ordered.

Lori chuckles after reading the name off her tag. "Never gets old." And she walked away.

"Ugh! I can't stand it any longer!"

* * *

Outside in the park, the other girls and Lincoln were just enjoying themselves. While Lincoln was getting ice cream from the ice cream truck, he happened to spot his athletic older sister.

"Lincoln! Little bro! I'm so glad I found you. Look, I can't take this anymore. I want my old name back. Could you please lend me some extra money so I can change it?"

Lincoln thought about it. "Me? Lend you some extra money? I don't know. What do you guys think?" He asked his other sisters.

"I don't know bro," Luna replies. "It's not a wise idea to lend your money to a total stranger."

"Yeah," Luan agrees. "Besides, I like that new name. It's way easier to laugh at."

"Well there you have it," Lincoln shrugs.

"Come on bro! Please?" Lynn begs. "I just need an extra $45!"

"Well I usually only lend money to people I know, like my sister Lynn. But I've only known Junk Car for a day, so I'm not sure."

"That's not fair! Can't you just help your big sister out?"

"I _could_. Just not people I'm not familiar with. What does it matter anyway? You make fun of _my_ name all the time."

"Ugh! Seriously? Fine. How about this? You lend me the money and I promise I won't call you Stinkoln ever again."

"Well if you put it that way, I…...still don't know."

"Fine! Be that way! I'll get the money without you!" And she stormed off.

* * *

But everywhere that Lynn went, everyone began laughing at her name. She was even being presented on TV commercials, billboards and posters. Heck, not even her sports teammates would take her seriously because they were too busy laughing.

Finally she decided to run away into an alleyway. "Why did I ever think Junk Car would be a cool name anyway? How foolish of me to think I could avoid this much humiliation. I want my old name back."

Then suddenly, she heard a faint sound. And she had the feeling that she wasn't alone.

"Hello? Is someone there? Show yourself!"

Then a semi familiar figure stepped out of the shadows. "Junk Car. We meet at last."

"You look familiar. Do I know you."

"I'm the Boulder. One of the greatest wrestlers of all time."

"Oh yeah. So what do you want?"

"You! I'm here for you! You took everything away from me! I was on the highway to fame until you took it all away with your stupid name. You robbed me of my fame and glory. I've even tried changing my name numerous times, but even that didn't do anything. My life was ruined. That's when I realized I had to take matters into my own hands. So now that I have you right where I want you, I'm gonna make you pay!" And he pounds his fist into his palm.

Lynn then backed up nervously. "Look pal, I know you're upset, but let's not do anything hasty. I'm sorry I ruined your life."

"Sorry isn't gonna cut it, ponytail!"

Lynn then dashed out of the alleyway with an angry wrestler on her tail. "Listen! I can fix this! I'm gonna change my name back!"

"Your talk is cheap!"

Back at the house, Lincoln and the girls were all sitting on the front patio looking at the newspaper. And as you'd guess, Lynn was on the front page.

"Now that's hysterical!" Luan cackles.

"Indeed. Quite ludicrous," Lisa replies.

"Wait until Junk Car hears about this." Lincoln then lowers the paper and sees their sister in question running for her life.

"Gotta hide! Gotta hide!"

"Sis, what's going on?"

"No time to explain!" Lynn ran inside the house and hid.

The Louds burst through the door in search of their sister.

"Junk Car?"

"Junk Car!"

"Where are you Junk Car?"

Lincoln then saw Lynn's ponytail sticking out from under the dining room tablecloth. "Sis? Are you hiding under the table?"

"No."

"Are you a chicken?" The Boulder taunted. "Bawk, Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk."

Lynn then grabbed Lincoln's leg and pulled him under the table. The other girls followed suit.

"Would somebody mind informing me the predicament here?" Lisa asked.

"Oh man! We're in trouble guys!" Lynn explains. "That wrestler is furious with me because I've become more famous than him, all because of my stupid name. And now he wants to bump me off. He's out there searching for me."

"Where are you Junk Car?" The Boulder asked from outside.

"Uh, is he searching for us too?" Lola asked.

"And your little friends, who may or may not be your sisters and brother!"

"Apparently, that's a yes," Lana said.

"I'm too cute to die!" Lola wailed.

"It's okay," Lynn assures. "We can just live under here from now on. The pets can bring us snacks."

"Dude, that is crazy!" Luna argues. "We're gonna have to get out of here eventually."

"Yeah," Luan agrees. "There's not much to do under the table anyway."

"I know. I know," Lynn said. "I gotta change my name back."

"But we literally spent our allowance," Lori states.

"Well, not all of us." That voice came from their brother.

"Wait! Bro!" Lynn halted. "Does that mean?"

Lincoln nodded. "If it'll get us out of this mess, it'll be worth it. And if I don't come back, take care of BunBun for me."

Lincoln came out from under the table and stealthily made it up the stairs and into his room. Once in, he reaches into his pillow case and took out a large wad of cash wrapped up in a rubber band.

"It took me three long weeks, but it's for a good cause."

Back downstairs, the girls came out of hiding.

"I got it!"

"You said you were saving that money for a rainy day," Lucy states.

"Well in this case, I'm making an exception."

"Well there's no time to waste!" Lynn claims. "We got to get to the courthouse before it closes!"

"Don't worry," Lana assures. "Thanks to the tuneup I gave Vanzilla, we should be able to get there lickety split."

"Then let's go!" Lori ordered. "While he's still searching the backyard!"

The Louds all dashed out of the house and into the van. However, the Boulder noticed this and began chasing after the car.

"Lana!" Lori instructed. "Gear shifter!"

"You got it!" Lana salutes. "Time to go turbo!"

Lana then puts the car into turbo drive, which made them go so fast, that wrestler couldn't keep up with them.

"I think we lost him dudes," Luna observes.

"It would seem that way," Lisa inspects. "However, the courthouse is still 15.267 miles away. We'll never make it in time before it closes."

"Oh yes we will," Lori assures. "Hold on everyone! We're taking a shortcut!"

Lori drove the van towards a road that went straight into the woods. The road was a little curved and swerved, but they were close to their destination.

"We're almost there!" Lola shouts.

Unfortunately, the van blew a front wheel and crashed into the parking lot. Luckily the kids made it out safe and ran straight into the courthouse house.

"Woo-hoo!" Lynn cheers. "We made it!"

Then Lucy looks out the window and saw the Boulder was still on their trail. "I hate to say this, but we've got trouble!"

The others saw this and immediately barricade the door.

"Here's the money sis!" Lincoln says as he hands her the cash.

"No! Lincoln! I can't just leave you like this!"

"Don't worry! We'll hold him off! Just change your name back!"

Lynn nods. "Thanks bro. I owe you one." Lynn then approached the counter and handed the receptionist the money. "I wanna change my name back!"

"Very well. I just need a signature."

Lynn signs her name and the receptionist takes out a stack of forms and began stamping each one.

But while that was happening, Lincoln and the others were still struggling to keep the door closed. But unfortunately, the doors burst open, knocking the kids into a wall.

The Boulder was back to finishing what he started. "At long last!"

But just as he was about to pound Lynn to the ground, the receptionist finished stamping the documents.

"You're name change is complete. Lynn Loud Junior."

The Louds sighed in relief.

"Wait!" The Boulder exclaims. "What did she say your name was?"

"Lynn! It's Lynn Loud!"

"Alright! The Boulder is back baby! Well I'll be going now. No hard feelings."

As the Boulder left, the Louds were left dumbfounded.

"Well that came out of nowhere," Lana said.

* * *

Finally, the Louds left the courthouse and headed home.

"Well that has to be one of the craziest adventures we've ever had," Lincoln said.

"You said it bro," Lynn agrees. "So um….listen. I just wanna say thanks for, you know, saving my butt."

"No problem, sis. After all, we are family. But the next time you think about changing your name, don't."

"You got it Stink….. I mean Lincoln."

* * *

 **Well that's finished.**

 **Now you may have noticed that I didn't use the name Trash Boat for this story, but rather used two different words instead. Now the reason why I did that was to give it more originality so that it's not exactly like the episode it's based on. Just trying to be a little spontaneous. Sure it's not exactly the same, but I think it's pretty good for what it is.**

 **Before we move on, I have an announcement to make. I know I've been getting a lot of requests for stories, but as much as I appreciate that, I still have ideas of my own that I want to do.**

 **I know it sounds like I'm repeating myself, but there is one other reason. You see, I have other things to take care of and I don't exactly have a lot of time to write these stories. I'll try to update as often as possible and (maybe) try to do as many requests as I can, but don't be surprised if these updates are taking a long time.**

 **Lastly, there's still one more _Loud House_ character that I have yet to introduce. I'm not gonna say who it is or when the next story will come, but let's just say you'll be in for a pretty big surprise.**

 **So long everybody.**


	83. Neighbor Nonsense

**Hello everyone**

 **First of all, I would just like to say thank you all for your support and appreciation. I honestly didn't think I would be able to do this many stories for the Loud House Tales, but luckily I managed to pull it off.**

 **This time however, I'm gonna do something a little different. Instead of focusing solely on the Loud family, this story is going to be about the Casagrandes.**

 **See ever since the story arc of the latest season, I've been wanting to do a story that focuses on Ronnie Anne and her extended family. The only problem was that I couldn't figure out how to do it. But then I became inspired by the _Arthur_ episode _Francine Goes to War_.**

 **So without further ado, please enjoy.**

 **And as an added bonus, I decided to introduce Ronnie Anne's new best friend Sid Chang.**

* * *

In the Loud house, Lincoln was in his room having his usual video chat with Ronnie Anne.

"So how have things been going with you?" Lincoln asked.

" _Oh you know, the usual,"_ Ronnie Anne replies. _"I actually made a new friend."_

"Really? Who?"

 _"Her name's Sid. She's really cool. She just moved into the apartment and she loves trying new things. And the best part is she'll always have my back when I need her."_

"Sounds a lot like me and Clyde."

" _Yeah. Except less dorky."_

They both chuckled at this. Lincoln then noticed the readers. "One of the things I like about Ronnie Anne is that she's a really interesting person to talk to. But it's not a good idea to make her mad."

" _Hey! I heard that! And you better take that back! I'm one of the nicest people you've ever known!"_

Lincoln rolls his eyes. "Oh yeah? When we first met, you kept pulling pranks on me and gave me a black eye."

 _"Only because you kissed me out of nowhere. And what makes you a saint? Remember that time you insulted me in front of your classmates?"_

"I said I was sorry."

" _Or what about the time you tried to avoid me at the Sadie Hawkins dance? Or the time you thought I was a monster and wouldn't trust me to take care of an egg?"_

"Hey! That's not fair! You're just taking all of my bad moments and using them against me. Besides, at least I learned from my mistakes."

" _Well they still happened anyway."_

"Then let me ask you this: was there ever a time _you_ had to learn from your mistakes?"

" _What? No! I don't make any mistakes like the ones you have!"_

Lincoln raises his eyebrow. "Oh no?"

Ronnie Anne could tell her friend wasn't buying it. " _Well…...maybe just one time. Or twice."_

"Really?"

" _Okay, you got me. Yes there was a time. But that doesn't mean I have to tell you."_

"Why not? I've got nothing better to do. Plus….." he whispered. "You can't keep the public waiting, can you," he said referring to the viewers.

Ronnie Anne groaned. " _Oh alright. But only if your sisters don't hear this."_

Lincoln checks the outside of his room to make sure that none of his sisters were eavesdropping. "I'm listening."

Ronnie Anne sighs. " _Okay, well it happened like this."_

* * *

It all started back at the Casagrande apartment. Ronnie Anne pulls up a video of her favorite K-Pop group.

"Okay, let's do this."

Ronnie Anne plays the video and began dancing in sync with the music.

But then, unexpectedly, her little cousin Carl burst right through the door. "Ronnie Anne! I need…"

There was a moment of silence as soon as Ronnie Anne pauses the video.

Carl tried to hold back his laughter. "You wanna tell me what you were doing?"

"Carl, what are you doing here?"

"Oh nothing," he said with fake innocence. "Just came to see what my favorite cousin has been up to."

"Hey, what I've been up to is none of your business! So get out of here! And if you even think about laughing, I'll sock you!"

"Oh really? You and what army!"

"Oh you're gonna get it!"

Ronnie Anne grabs her pillow and both cousins prepared to fight, but even before they got close enough to each other, they heard a loud banging sound coming from the walls.

"What was that?" Carl asked nervously.

"I don't know." Ronnie answers before smirking. "Don't tell me you're scared."

"Me? Scared? As if! Why would I be scared of a loud rumbling sound that may or may not be coming from a…*gulp*...ghost."

"Look, I'm sure there's a logical explanation for this."

* * *

So everyone was in the living room discussing what the cause of the noise was.

"I knew there were evil spirits in this building!" Rosa exclaimed. "And after all I do to keep them out!"

"Mama, don't be ridiculous," said Ronnie Anne's mother Maria. "There's no spirits in here. It was probably just the new neighbor Ms Alvarez."

"Oh yes of course. But just to be safe." Rosa took out a piece of sage and began waving it around.

"Well what kind of a person just bangs on a wall like that?" Bobby questioned.

"Yeah!" Carlota agrees. "I can barely hear myself think with all that complaining!"

"She scared us half to death!" Said Carl.

"Actually, she scared _you_ half to death," Ronnie Anne said. " _I_ wasn't scared at all."

"Oh come on. Like _you_ never get scared of anything?"

"That's because I'm not."

"Rattlesnakes."

That made Ronnie Anne shudder with fear. But she dusted herself off once she saw her cousin smirking. "I was _startled_. But I _wasn't_ scared."

" _Sure_ you weren't."

"Well anyway, why did she have to bang so much? It's not like we're trying to disturb her!"

"She probably wanted you to be quiet," Hector points out. "You kids can get pretty loud sometimes."

Ronnie Anne rolls her eyes. "Yeah, like some _other_ family I know."

* * *

So as a backup plan so she wouldn't be interrupted, Ronnie Anne decided to practice her dance moves on the roof.

"Okay, this is perfect. No distractions and no one to laugh at me if I beef it."

She plays the video again and began practicing. But soon the door to the roof opened up. It was another one of Ronnie Anne's neighbors, Mr Nakamura.

"Excuse me? Ronnie Anne?"

Ronnie Anne stops the video again and looks towards her neighbor. "Oh hey Mr Nakamura."

"Ronnie Anne, I hate to disturb you, but the new neighbor just called. She complained about the racket you were making. She said it's too loud, and if you don't quiet down, she'll have to call the police."

"Her again?!" Ronnie Anne was not pleased. "Tell her to put a cork in it!"

"I'm afraid I can't do that."

"Fine." Ronnie Anne decided not to argue and leave. She packed up her laptop and stormed off. "The complaints some people have to put up with."

* * *

Ronnie Anne was back in her room. But this time, she was alone. She was joined by another girl with freckles, brown hair and a pink headband. She was also wearing a blue long sleeve shirt, black shorts, white earnings, and black knee high sneaker boots with red socks. This was her new best friend and neighbor Sid Chang.

In the room, Ronnie Anne was pacing back and forth. "She is driving me nuts!"

"Don't you think you're overreacting just a little bit?" Sid asked her friend.

"Me? _She's_ the one who's overreacting. Is it that hard to ask for a little peace and quiet so I can enjoy myself?"

"I don't know. She probably feels the same way about you."

Then Ronnie Anne hopped on her bed with her arms crossed. "Well she's complaining about me too much."

"You could at least try to be courteous. Mom always says that the best way to _have_ a good neighbor is to _be_ a good neighbor."

Ronnie begins to think. "I wonder how Lincoln would handle this."

This caught Sid's attention. "Lincoln? Who's Lincoln?"

"Well back when I lived in Royal Woods, there was a boy I knew with white hair. He lives with 10 sisters."

"10 sisters!? Dang, he must have it rough."

"Yeah. In fact his oldest sister is my brother's girlfriend. He's a bit of a dork, but I like him as a friend."

"He sounds pretty cool. But why are you bringing this up?"

"No reason. I was just thinking. He was always the best at coming up with plans. Even if they don't always work out."

"I see. Well how do you think _he_ would handle this?"

"Well he'd usually think about the situation in advance and then discuss it to himself, mostly by coming up with numerous options."

"Sounds like quite a legendary planner. So what would _he_ do?"

"Well, he'd probably just simply go over and ask politely to keep the noise down." Ronnie Anne thought it over and decided…. "Nah. We're not doing that."

"So then what are we gonna do?"

"I'll tell you what we're gonna do. We're gonna do things _my_ way. By pranking."

* * *

Moments later, Ronnie Anne dials a phone number.

"Are you sure you can't apologize and politely ask her to keep it quiet?" Sid asked.

"Are you kidding me Sid? That is so lame. Besides, this trick never fails." After her phone stops ringing, Ronnie Anne deepens her voice to make it sound less obvious. "Yes, hello? Ms Alvarez? I just wanted to know if your refrigerator was working."

But that didn't work, because she hung up.

"Hello? Hello? Ugh! Man, I blew it!"

"I'll say you did," said Sid. "You didn't even say it right. Let me try."

Ronnie hands Sid her phone and she dialed the same number.

"Hello? Ms Alvarez? My friend Ronnie Anne wanted to know if your refrigerator was running."

Again, the phone was hung up.

"She hung up on me."

Ronnie Anne slaps her forehead. "Sid! You just gave me away!"

"Don't worry. She's an elderly woman. She won't even remember."

Well one thing's for sure, someone wasn't happy with what Ronnie Anne did.

* * *

And that was her mother. "What did I tell you about making prank phone calls?"

"To not do it unless it was absolutely necessary?" But Ronnie Anne was too busy watching TV to pay attention.

"Ronnie Anne."

"Alright, I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have done it. But she started it. She complains about everything. She even banged on my window."

"I don't care if Ms Alvarez threw a water balloon at your face. She is your neighbor and you will treat her with respect."

"But-."

"No buts. You're grounded for two days."

As her mother left, Ronnie Anne pouts on the couch. "Great."

* * *

Moments later, Ronnie Anne was sitting on her bed in a sour mood.

Then outside her window, her friend Sid came down from the stairs. "Hey. Heard you got grounded. How'd she even know it was you?"

But Ronnie Anne just gave her friend a stern look.

"Oh. I see what you're getting at."

"It's not fair! Next thing you know, they'll have me arrested for watching TV. I gotta get her to move somewhere else. But how?"

"Well remember when we sabotaged the upstairs apartment just so I could stay here?"

"Yeah. But it nearly got abuela fired." She then thought of something else. "Hmmm. Lincoln did tell me about the time his house got infested with termites. Oh, but that'll take years. Unless…"

"Unless what?"

"Unless I can make her _think_ there are termites in the building."

"Oh, I see where you're going with this. Leave it to me."

* * *

Ronnie Anne went to Sid's room, where the latter was writing a letter.

"Okay, how's this?" Sid reads the letter. " _To whom it may concern, we don't mean to frighten you, but the building is about to collapse due to an infestation of termites and sewer rats. They are chewing the cement and becoming a nuisance. So if you know what's good for you, I suggest you move out immediately. Signed, the former manager."_

"This is great!" Ronnie Anne said. "Thanks for the help Sid."

"No problem. Just spill some coffee on it, crumble it and tear the edges a little, and it'll look ancient."

So that's exactly what she did. Once the letter was given that ancient look, Ronnie Anne escapes through her bedroom window and headed up the stairs to the top floor. Once there, she places the letter through Ms Alvarez's window while no one was looking. Then she went back down to her room, but when she tried to open the window to get back in, she found it locked.

"Dang it! Stupid window!"

So she went over to her cousin Carlota's window. Carlota saw her little cousin banging on the glass and immediately let her in.

"Ronnie Anne? What were you doing out there?"

"Don't ask," Ronnie said as she lets herself in. "You can thank me tomorrow."

* * *

The next day, everyone was eating breakfast, but then Ronnie Anne noticed something underneath her plate.

It was the letter that she and Sid had written. But when she looked at it, she saw it was completely marked with spelling, punctuation and capitalization corrections. Then when she turned it over to the back, she found a message in red ink that said 'nice try small fry'.

Ronnie Anne grumbled in anger. "Of course, you know, this means war," she said to the audience.

"What was that?" Her mother scolded.

"Uh nothing!" She then tore up the letter into shreds.

* * *

Next, Ronnie Anne and Sid were in their 'secret' club.

"You sure this is gonna work?" Ronnie Anne asked.

"I'm totally sure," Sid replies holding some kitchen utensils tied to a string. "Once she hears this, she'll be leaving faster than a deer trying to escape a Komodo dragon."

"Well if you put it that way, I'm in."

So they put their plan into action.

Sid began speaking through the air vent trying to sound like a ghost. "Ms Alvarez. Ms Alvarez. I have come here to haunt you. You must leave here before it's too late. Leave before it's too late."

While Sid was the one talking, Ronnie Anne was applying the sound effects by shaking the utensils around. But even with that, she felt unconvinced that their plan was working. "Sid, this is stupid."

"Wait! I think I hear something."

Indeed they did. But when they listened, what they heard was a bunch of angry shouting from their neighbors.

"Uh oh!" The girls said in unison.

So they made a dash right back upstairs to Ronnie Anne's room. Once they made it, they gave each other a high five.

"Okay, now on to phase two." Ronnie Anne took out a jar with a spider in it (the same one that was seen in the episode _Roll Model with the Casagrandes_ ). "As soon as the coast is clear, I'll drop this spider on her doorstep."

Sid began to shudder a bit. "Dang! That's creepy."

"I know right? It _never_ fails," Ronnie Anne said with a smirk.

* * *

The next morning, Ronnie Anne got out of bed and got dressed for the day. But when she came out of her room, she felt something land in her hair.

"Oh my gosh! Get it off! Get it off!"

After she shook the thing off her head, she looked down on the floor and saw that the thing was a spider. And not just any spider, the same one that she kept in a jar.

"How did that get up there?"

She thought about it, and after a few seconds, the answer became clear, and it made her enraged.

"Ugh! I can't believe it! She got me with my own prank! Though I can't say it's the first time this has happened."

Then it got worse. Once she made her way to the living room, she found her family all staring at her with displeasure.

Ronnie Anne gulps. "I'm never gonna hear the end of this, am I?"

Well I think you guys can already guess the answer to that.

* * *

As a result, Ronnie Anne had to help her family with the dishes.

"I can't believe I'm stuck doing this," she growls.

"It's your own fault, you know," said her older brother Bobby. "You can get pretty carried away with your pranks."

"Hey, can I help it if it's what I do best?"

"Well you certainly took it too far this time. We got a ton of complaints from the neighbors about the so-called noise coming from the vents."

"That wasn't _noise_. It was sound effects."

"Well sis, Abuelo and I've been talking about it, and I think we've found a way to stop this once and for all."

Ronnie Anne rolls her eyes. "I know. I'm grounded for three days and have to take out the garbage."

"Not exactly. Ms Alvarez has invited you for tea next Saturday. And you have gratefully accepted."

Then Ronnie was so shocked that she dropped a plate on the floor, shattering it to pieces.

"What?!"

* * *

Ronnie Anne was back in her room talking with Sid on her phone.

" _No way!"_

"I know, right? I'd rather eat dog food."

" _Sheesh. Even I wouldn't eat dog food."_

"And yet Lincoln tells me he has a sister who eats dog biscuits," Ronnie Anne mutters to herself. "Sid, what am I gonna do? Who knows what she'll do to me?"

" _Well Ronnie Anne, I don't think there's anything else you can do. And I think another prank will just get you into more trouble."_

"I was afraid you were gonna say that."

" _Why don't you use some of that advice your old friend gave you. What was his name again? Lucas?"_

" _Lincoln_. His name is Lincoln. And I'd rather wash my hair with peanut butter."

" _You know, it doesn't hurt to take advice from your old friends. Who knows? It might help."_

"I don't know Sid. I'll think about it."

" _Well, you never know. The best thing you can do is just go along with it. I mean it's not like you have much of a choice anyway."_

"I know."

" _Listen, I gotta go. I promised Adelaide if I played princess with her this one time, she'd stop pestering me for a whole week."_

Ronnie Anne chuckles. "You and that little sass bucket."

 _"I know right? Talk to you later."_

As soon as Sid hung up, Ronnie Anne slumped on her bed.

"I know, I know, I should have seen this coming," she said to the audience. "You don't have to rub it in you know."

* * *

Finally the day came.

Ronnie Anne came out of her room, but instead of her usual hoodie and jean shorts, she was wearing a purple overall dress with a bright yellowish-green shirt underneath. While her ponytail, socks and shoes remained the same, she was also wearing a yellow sun hat with a flower in it.

As you can tell, this getup was not to her liking. But she knew she had to make things right with her neighbor.

But before going there, she decided to have one last chat with her BFF.

After she knocked, Sid came to the door. "Hey Ronnie Anne." Sid also notices her new attire. "Nice outfit."

Ronnie Anne grumbled. "I still can't believe I'm doing this."

"You mean because you have to go right over to Ms Alvarez and apologize to her for your pranks?"

"Well that, and this dress makes me look stupid."

"Well all I can say is good luck pal."

"Thanks Sid. If you don't see me tomorrow, try to remember me when we first met."

"You sure you don't need me to come with you?"

"No. It's okay. I have to do this alone. I got myself into this, I have to get myself out of it."

"Well, like I said. Good luck."

After Sid shut the door, she went over to her new neighbor. Ronnie Anne was still hesitant, but she knew it had to be done. So she knocked on the door to her new neighbors room, and out stepped an old lady with glasses and grey shoulder length hair wearing a bright yellow shirt with a vest over it.

"You must be Ronnie Anne," she replies.

"You must be Ms Alvarez."

The woman just gave her a smile. "I knew I'd like you. Come on in."

Ronnie Anne came in.

"You know, I never pictured you in a dress."

"My cousin Carlota made me wear it. She suggested I'd wear something more ' _conservative_ '. It's not exactly my favorite style."

"It's not exactly mine either," Ms Alvarez replies. "Please, have a seat. So can I get you a drink?"

Ronnie looks confused. "I thought we were gonna have tea."

"Ah forget it. I hate tea. Want a soda?"

"Sure. Got any orange?"

"It's my favorite."

Then Ronnie Anne looks around and saw numerous pictures of a certain person horseback riding and playing sports such as tennis. "Are those you in those pictures?"

"You betcha. I don't mean to brag, but back in my hometown, I was quite a champion horseback rider. And I even made the olympics for my tennis swing. You a sports fan yourself?"

"Are you kidding me! I _love_ sports! Especially wrestling, soccer and skateboarding!"

"Somehow I knew we'd get along." Ms Alvarez brought out a tray. "Here, have a cookie."

So she did.

"So tell me a little about yourself."

"Well my real name's Ronalda. It was my mother's choice, but it just didn't sound cool to me. So everyone calls me Ronnie Anne."

"Fascinating. And I must say, you don't seem like much of a city girl."

"Actually I'm from a small town called Royal Woods. Not to brag, but back there I was a pretty hardcore tomboy."

"You don't say."

"Yep. I wasn't too comfortable moving here at first, but then that all changed because….because of a certain friend of mine."

"Really? Who was it?"

"Are you sure you wanna hear it? It's kind of a long story."

"I'm all ears."

"Okay. Well when I was a really little girl, my mom and dad got separated. So the only man of the house was my brother Bobby. Then as I started growing up, school wasn't all that easy. I was worried that no one would like me, so I toughened up and started becoming a bully. Then I found this boy who seemed like an easy target, so I started playing pranks on him to get his attention. He got pretty annoyed at first, but then we started hanging out together and became friends."

"Sounds like he was a great friend."

"He was. He was one of the first, best and pretty much the only friends I've ever had. He was the one who brought out the good side of me. And he also knew more about living in a big family than I did. And even convinced me that my new friends will like me for who I am, not where I come from." Then Ronnie Anne started feeling guilty about not taking Lincoln's advice to heart. "Looking back on it now, I'm starting to wish I'd taken that advice sooner. Maybe then I wouldn't have been in so much trouble."

"Don't be so hard on yourself Ronnie Anne. If it makes you feel better, I'm sorry I complained about the noise. And threw your silly pranks back at you."

"I thought it was because you hated me."

"Don't be ridiculous. I don't hate you. The only thing I did hate was being lonely. And you're one of the first friends I've had in a long time."

Ronnie Anne smiles. "I see what you mean. I thought I needed to be tough to face the outside world, but I guess the only thing I needed…. was a friend."

"You already have some."

"Yeah. I guess I do. So, I don't suppose you have any stories about your childhood?"

"Oh do I ever."

* * *

After the meeting was over, Ronnie Anne went back to her room feeling very satisfied.

"She's like a total athlete," she said. "She's played tennis, she goes horseback riding and she even made the olympics once."

Sid was listening to the whole story from outside the window. "You know if I didn't know better, I'd say she sounds just like you."

"Are you kidding? She _is_ just like me. It's like we're sisters or something. And as it turns out, she's not really mean. She just acts that way because she's lonely."

"Sounds to me like you learned something after all. Don't judge someone before you get to know them."

"Come on Sid. Do you have to be right about everything?"

"Well not everything, but I do know you can learn a lot from both your old friends and your new friends."

"Yeah, you're right. I gotta remember to thank Lincoln later. Still, I kinda wish she didn't have to feel lonely all the time."

Then Sid got an idea. "Well, maybe _we_ can fix that."

"Sid, are you thinking what _I'm_ thinking?"

"You know it girl."

* * *

The next morning, the girls went upstairs to one of their other neighbors.

They knocked on the door and out stepped an elderly woman with white hair and a sea foam green tracksuit.

"Hey Mrs Kernicky," Sid waves. "You like to practice paddleball on your off time, right?"

"That I do," she replies.

"Well see," Ronnie Anne explains. "I know this lady who needs some friends. And we were just wondering, could Ms Alvarez come hang out with you, do you think?"

"Sure, the more the merrier. Seven o'clock tonight."

"Cool."

* * *

Later that afternoon, Ronnie Anne brought Ms Alvarez over to her apartment to meet her family.

"This is my mother, my brother Bobby, my grandma, grandpa, uncle, aunt and cousins," Ronnie Anne introduces.

"Nice to finally meet you," Maria said.

"Come on in," Bobby insists. "We'll introduce you."

"That's my job, Bobby," Ronnie Anne claims. "Your job is to go get the refreshments."

Bobby just smiles. "No problem sis."

As soon as Ronnie Anne walks off, her Abuela, mother and brother watched with satisfaction.

"You certainly raised a good daughter Maria," Rosa compliments.

"Well I will say this," Maria said. "Ronnie Anne certainly has become a more open minded person."

"And I think I have an idea of where she learned it from," Bobby winks.

Meanwhile, Ronnie Anne was giving Ms Alvarez a tour of the place. "This is my family. My Tio Carlos, Tia Frida, my cousins CJ, Carl, Carlota, Carlitos, our pets Sergio and Lalo. And this is my best friend Sid."

Sid shook her hand. "Nice to officially meet you."

"You're pretty cool for a witch," CJ said.

"She's not a witch, CJ," Ronnie Anne confronts.

"You know, this reminds me of the time I met an old wizard during my travels. At least that's what he told me. And he told me that if I ever wanted to cast a spell, then…"

Everyone sat down and listened to Ms Alvarez's story, and were pretty intrigued by it.

* * *

That night, Ronnie Anne was enjoying herself in her room. She heard a bunch of noise coming from the walls, but she didn't mind.

Although, someone did…..

Her cousins Carlota, Carl and CJ burst right through her door.

"Ugh!" Carlota groaned. "That's the third time in a row!"

"What's the big deal?" Ronnie Anne shrugged. "She's just having fun."

"The big deal is that I can't do my homework with all this racket!"

Carl points to his older cousin. "You've created a monster!"

Again, Ronnie Anne pays no mind. "I know it's not easy," she said to the viewers. "But as long as Ms Alvarez is happy, so am I."

* * *

" _And that's how it all happened,"_ Ronnie Anne concludes.

"Wow, so I guess you _did_ learn something from me after all."

 _"Yeah well, maybe just a little bit. I guess we both learn a little something from each other. Well it was nice talking to you, but I gotta go. Abuela is making taquitos."_

"No problem, I should probably wash up for dinner too. Say, when me and Lori come to visit, think you can introduce me to your friend Sid?"

" _Sure thing. I think you two would get along very well. One more thing though."_

"What's that?"

" _I'm sorry I haven't told you this before, but I'm glad you're my friend."_

Lincoln smiles. "Same to you."

 _"Smell you later."_ And she hung up.

Lincoln closed his laptop. "Well that was some story. Good thing none of my sisters were eavesdropping."

But ironically, outside the room, the girls were all in the hallway with their ears pressed against Lincoln's door, listening to the whole story.

"Well, what did you expect?" Lori said to the viewers. "It's not like _we're_ gonna tell anyone else."

* * *

 **Hope that one was as fun as it was heartwarming.**

 **I'm so glad I finally got to do a story like this. Especially considering that both Ronnie Anne and Sid Chang are two of my favorite characters.**

 **Speaking of which, here's a little fun fact. Ronnie Anne's new neighbor Ms Alvarez was actually named after her second voice actress Isabella Alvarez. (Yeah, I'm not exactly that good at making up names).**

 **But if you're wondering if Sid Chang or the Casagrandes are gonna appear in the next few stories…...we'll just have to wait and see.**

 **But I can assure you, next chapter will be going back to the Loud family.**

 **Stay tuned.**


	84. Darcy and the Loud-osaurus

**And now here's a story based on the _Arthur_ episode _Sue Ellen and the Brainosaurus._**

* * *

It starts with Lincoln sitting at his desk. "You know," he asked the viewers. "Some people just have to do everything themselves."

"Cut! Cut! CUT!" The shouting came from Lincoln's younger sister and resident genius, Lisa Loud. "I terribly apologize Lincoln, but I simply must put this to a halt. This is getting interminable."

"Interminable?"

"Monotonous, humdrum, mundane, boring."

"Boring? But-!"

"You need a little more enthusiasm here. More energy. Put a little zing into what you're discussing. Remember this is the opening of the show. Now let's try this again."

And so they did.

Lincoln spoke with his normal voice. "Some people just have to do everything themselves."

Lisa did not look amused. "That's it? You call _that_ enthusiastic?"

"Yeah, well, that was just practice." After clearing his throat, Lincoln spoke with a more upbeat tone. "Some people just have to do everything themselves! How was that?"

Still not good enough.

After several tries, Lisa decided to take matters into her own hands.

"Loud House intro: take seven."

Then Lisa jumps in wearing an orange polo and a white wig with her glasses off. "You know, some people just have to do everything themselves. They won't let anybody help them."

After that intro was done, Lisa put her glasses back on. "And _that's_ how it's done."

This time Lincoln was the unamused one. " _This_ is what I get for having a genius for a sister." And he stormed off. "Stupid Lisa. Always has to get the last word."

Oh does she really, Lincoln?

"Yes she does. She thinks that just because she's the smartest one in the house, she can decide everything herself."

Does she now?

"Yeah. You know, I remember a time when she tried to do a school project all by herself."

Really? Care to tell us?

"Actually, I was thinking _you_ could do the honors."

Me? Really?

"Sure. I mean after all, you're a pretty good storyteller."

Well, if you insist.

* * *

It all started at Royal Woods Elementary. All the Loud kids (with the exception of one) that attended we're discussing amongst each other.

"I can't believe this is happening," Lincoln said.

"You're telling me," Lucy sighs. "I'd rather wear a princess gown."

"Eh, join the club sis," Lola says.

Then their second youngest sister arrived. "Greetings fellow siblings. What seems to be the discussion."

"Well Lisa, if you must know," Lola explains. "We're all stuck doing an animal report."

"And this is different how?"

"Because the whole school is doing it," Lincoln further elaborated. "Even the kindergarteners. We're all going to be assigned a partner and have to present our reports in front of the whole school."

"And this counts for 65% of our grade," Lucy states. "You fail this, you fail the semester."

"Eh, I don't see what all the fuss is about," Lana shrugs. "This'll be a piece of cake."

"Easy for you to say," her twin argues. "You're crazy about animals."

"I know," Lana said proudly.

Lisa adjusted her glasses. "Despite Lana's semi egotistical optimism, I agree with her. This assignment shall be as simple as solving for pi."

"Whatever you say Lisa," Lincoln says. "Whatever you say."

* * *

In class, Lisa's teacher Ms Shrinivas was making an announcement.

"Okay class, this report should be at least two pages on whatever animal you choose. Where they live, what they eat and anything that's unusual. Now remember that this is a team effort, so whoever you're partnered up with, I want you to work together and cooperate. Now the teams for the report will be as follows. Lisa, you'll be paired up with Darcy."

Darcy smiles and went over to the table that Lisa was sitting at. "I'm so glad we're going to be partners Lisa. This is so exciting! Report twins!"

Lisa rolls her eyes, but also smiled.

* * *

Then the bell rings and all the kids headed out the door.

Lisa and Darcy were among the first to leave. "A model dinosaur? That's a great idea Lisa."

"I thought you might think so," Lisa confirms. "I'll get started on some preliminary sketches."

"What can I do?"

"The sketches have to be done first. That's why they're called _preliminary_. I'll call you when I'm done with them."

"Great. So long." Darcy watched as Lisa heads for home.

Then soon came one of Lisa's older sisters, Lola. "So, partnered up with my brainiac sister, are you?"

"Yeah. I've never done a project with Lisa before. It should be fun."

"Well it'll definitely be _easy_ , that's for sure."

"What do you mean?"

"You'll see Darcy. Lisa's kinda the type that…."

"Lisa's great!" Lana interrupted. "She's the best report partner I ever had."

"Well _I'm_ your partner this time Lana," Lola stated. "And I _don't_ waste time. Now come on. We've got work to do." Then she took Lana by the hand and headed off.

* * *

That night at the Helmandollar residence, Darcy was sitting down watching TV with her stuffed giraffe Rafo.

"I love this show. Don't you Rafo?"

Then her father came into the room. "Darcy, don't you have any homework to do?"

"Not yet. Lisa's doing the drawings. She said they're pre…...prime…...prim…...they're very important."

But her father just gave her a stern look.

Finally Darcy got out of her seat and headed off to use the phone. "Well maybe I should call her and see how it's going."

* * *

Meanwhile at the Loud house, Lisa had finished the sketches she had been working on.

"This is going to be perfect," she thought to herself. "I can see it all now."

 _Lisa imagined herself attending a science conference making an announcement to her colleagues._

 _"Ladies and gentlemen, ever since my days in elementary school when I began working on my first project, I knew that with a little effort, it would one day be possible. And now I present to you what you've all been waiting for."_

 _Lisa unveils a giant live Tyrannosaurus rex, which has the crowd scared out of their wits._

 _"Please, calm yourselves everyone. I assure you that this magnificent creature is quite tame."_

 _Then the T-Rex grabbed a microphone and began speaking. "Hello, hello, welcome to the show. Now a funny thing happened on the way over here. This morning I happen to see a group of fire breathing dragons. And I said 'hey, why don't you go find a couple of human kids and go start a television show?' Whether or not that actually happened, I'll never know."_

 _But the crowd just screamed and ran away._

Back to reality.

Lisa thought, then shook her head. "I highly doubt a dinosaur could ever be a comedian."

"I'll say," Luan stepped in. "Most dinosaurs have more taste for plants than they do for comedy." Then she laughed as she left.

Suddenly, Lisa's phone began to ring. "Hello?"

It was Darcy. "Hi Lisa. How are you doing?"

"Well the initial sketches are done. Ready to go onto the next stage."

"Great. I was getting worried that I was gonna have to sit around and just watch TV. What do you want me to do?"

This made Lisa nervous. "You? Well…..perhaps you should….continue watching TV! Gotta go finish doing some research! Bye!" And she hung up.

Darcy became a little suspicious. "That's weird."

But then another thought came to Lisa's head.

 _This fantasy shows both Lisa and Darcy presenting their report to the school._

 _"This is our model of the Tyrannosaurus rex," Lisa introduced._

 _"And I helped." Darcy pulled off the cover revealing a model made of pastries. "The arms are made of cookies and the body is made of a cake."_

 _Then everyone got out of their seats and began taking apart pieces and eating them until there was nothing left but armature wire._

 _"Unfortunately, this isn't a cooking class," Ms Shrinivas criticized. "YOU FAIL!"_

The thought of having to hear the word 'fail' echo in her mind made Lisa feel exasperated.

"Who am I fooling? I can't trust Darcy with such a project."

* * *

Later, Lisa was at the library (and yes, she was wearing a disguise because she still has overdue fines). But then she heard two familiar voices.

"And then she just hung up on me."

Lisa looks from behind the bookshelf and sees that it's her best friend talking with Lola.

"Well if you ask me, you're lucky," Lola claims. "I have to do all the work while Lana gets to fool around with her animals."

"I don't mind doing any work. That's what friends are for, helping each other."

Lisa noticed the issue and tried to sneak away. But unfortunately, the two girls were able to see through her ruse.

"Lisa? Is that you?"

"Uhhhh…...whom is this Lisa fellow of which you speak?" She said trying to disguise her voice.

Lola didn't buy it. "Yep it's her. Only Lisa's smart enough to use the word 'whom' in a sentence correctly."

"Drat!"

Lisa then made a quick dash as the two girls followed. But soon enough, they couldn't find her anywhere.

"That's weird," Darcy said. "She disappeared."

"Well she can't hide forever," Lola stated as they continued to search.

However, Lisa wasn't too far away. She was actually hiding in a nearby closet.

"Whew! That was close. I should be safe in here."

"Safe from what?"

Lisa jumps in fright, but saw that it was just her gothic sister Lucy and her pet bat Fangs along with her friend Haiku.

"I'll never understand how you're able to do that," Lisa said.

"And I'll never tell you," Lucy replies.

"Dare I ask, what are you doing in here?"

"We were doing important research for our report."

"The darkness gives us focus," Haiku replies.

"I see." Lisa was still a little disturbed. "Well I'm sorry to bother you, but I have to get going."

And she headed out the door.

"I swear, the less I understand about my siblings, the better."

* * *

Later, Darcy was seen riding home with her father. But as she did, she was very puzzled about why her friend was so jumpy.

"Why is Lisa acting so strangely? It's just a school project. Maybe she's just working too hard. What if she's not getting enough sleep?"

 _Darcy imagined that Lisa was working on the research alone. But every now and then, she kept falling asleep on her desk. Then the cat Cliff came in and began scraping his claws against the chalkboard, which in turn irritates Lisa's ears._

 _"AAAAAHHHHH! Must keep working! Must keep working!"_

Back to the car. "I don't want Lisa to do this by herself. I've got to help her. Daddy? Can you take me to Lisa's house?"

"Sure thing sweetheart."

* * *

Finally Darcy arrived at the Loud house and headed towards Lisa's room.

"Hi Lisa. I came to help you with the project."

"That's nearly finished. Look." Lisa presented what she had done so far. The T-Rex's skeletal legs were all done and well constructed.

"Wow! That's great! What do we do now Lisa?"

"I need to finish wiring the vertebrae, and then of course the head."

"The head. We can make that with papier-mâché."

"Umm…..clay is better."

"Okay. I have clay at home. I'll go get started on the head."

After Darcy left, Lisa became even more nervous. So much so that she messed up the model that was completed.

 _She then imagined how it was going to go down. When the dinosaur model was shown to everyone, the head had lipstick and blonde hair, which made everyone laugh hysterically._

 _Lisa looks towards her teacher who was writing down on her clipboard while slowly shaking her head._

 _"I'm afraid you're going to be in kindergarten for a long time Lisa."_

So I guess you'd probably guess what would happen next. That night, both Lisa and Darcy began modeling the head out of clay. Of course Lisa stayed up way later, trying to get the proportions accurate. In fact she stayed up so late that she barely got any sleep at all.

* * *

The next morning, Darcy came over to the Loud house with a box in her hands.

"Hi Lisa," she greeted. "I brought the…..What's the matter? You look tired."

Indeed she was. When Lisa came to her friend, she was still in her pajamas, her glasses were crooked and her hair was also frazzled, (well, more than it usually was anyway).

And she let out a yawn. "Working late. Come on, I have something to show you."

Lisa leads Darcy upstairs into her room where she presented the finished dinosaur scale model.

"Voila!"

Darcy was impressed, but also disappointed. "Uhh…..it looks great, but I thought _I_ was making the head."

"I decided to take care of it. The head is the most important part after all."

"Well I'm sorry you went through all that trouble for nothing. Here." And she took her model out of the box.

"We can't use this."

"What?"

"The head is all wrong. The proportions of the nasal cavities are way off, and the angle of the bridge is skewed. Nope, Ms Shrinivas will never accept this."

Darcy took the skull that she made and compared it to Lisa's model. "They look exactly the same!"

"Maybe to the untrained eye."

"It's supposed to be _our_ project Lisa. Not just _yours_."

"Yours, mine, ours, I don't have time to argue over stupid stuff. I have to work to get this finished. You want a good grade, don't you?"

Darcy couldn't think of anything else to say, so she decided to just leave and go home.

* * *

That night, she was in bed still feeling pretty mad.

"It's not fair! Why does she have to be such a smarty pants?"

Then her father came in to check on her. "Honey, are you having a bad dream?"

"No, a bad _reality_."

It was true, not only did Darcy go to bed upset, but she also felt pretty betrayed because it seemed like her best friend didn't trust her.

* * *

The next morning at school, Lisa arrived with the model skeleton in her hands.

However, she was stopped by her friend Darcy as she approached the door. "Lisa, we need to talk about our project."

"I assure you I have everything under control."

"I know. That's the problem." Then Lisa stumbles backwards. "Lisa, you're gonna drop it! Let me help!"

As Darcy grabbed the model, Lisa tried desperately to take it back. "No! No! I can do it! Don't touch it!"

"That's ridiculous! You're just being a report hog!"

"Please! It's very delicate!"

Finally, Darcy had enough and let go. "Fine! Take it!"

Then Lisa ended up dropping it and fell face first into a mud puddle. Once she got up, she saw the the model dinosaur bones were all scattered in pieces.

"Now look what you've done!"

* * *

After the bell rang, Lisa heads inside and discussed the whole situation with her older sisters and brother.

"She let you fall in the mud?!" Lola laughed so hard, she couldn't stop. "What a loser!"

She continues to laugh as she, Lana and Lucy walked off.

Lincoln tried to hold in his laughter.

Lisa shook her fist. "If I hear so much as a giggle out of you….."

"Sorry Lisa. But you gotta admit. That is pretty hilarious."

"Believe me, it was far from amusing."

"Well you're lucky Darcy only let you fall in the mud. If it was Lynn, she would have _pushed_ you."

"Excuse me?"

"Well Lynn can be pretty rude sometimes. But you? Well, I hate to say this sis, but Darcy may be right. You _are_ a report hog."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Remember last year when you helped me with my French history report? You were Napoleon and I was France. And you wouldn't even let me talk."

 _A flashback shows Lisa dressed as Napoleon while Lincoln was lying on the floor dressed as a map of France. But when he tried to speak, all he got in response was a 'Shush!'_

"Even at home, you always had to do everything."

 _Then another flashback shows Lola and Lana at home doing a puzzle on the coffee table. But Lisa ended up finishing the whole thing for them (much to their annoyance)._

"And how would you like it if Darcy treated you the way you treated her?"

 _Finally a little fantasy shows Lisa trying to finish the dinosaur model, but Darcy stepped in furiously._

 _"Don't touch that! You're fiddling with my precious A! You don't know what you're doing! Go home!"_

 _Then Lisa ended up leaving out the door feeling disappointed._

Returning to reality, Lisa was starting to understand. "I'm beginning to sense the big picture here."

Lincoln kneels down to his little sister. "You see Lis, sometimes working on a project means doing things as a team. If you make all the choices and decide how everything should be, what's left for your friend to do?"

"Nothing much I would imagine. But how do you know all this?"

"Remember when me and Ronnie Anne were assigned to take care of an egg? Well turns out, I didn't trust Ronnie Anne at all because I thought she would wreck it. But when I got to her house, I found out something new. She takes really good care of her family and even her older brother. In fact, I think she'd make a _great_ mother."

"And a great future sister in law."

Lincoln rolls his eyes. "My point is that if you don't trust your friends, then soon they'll stop trusting you. And that doesn't feel good at all."

"I suppose I would feel pretty bad if someone didn't trust me to work on a report. Have I really been a stickler Lincoln?"

"Well, maybe a little. But I still think you're a good sister. And if I were you, I'd consider trying to make things right again."

"I see your point elder brother." Lisa stood up and ran off.

* * *

Elsewhere in the hallway, Lisa found Darcy and tried to make amends.

"So now I realized that I was being selfish. I should have collaborated with you instead of trying to accomplish it myself. I'm deeply sorry for not trusting you Darcy."

"It's okay Lisa."

"So are we still friends?"

"Of course. I'm sorry I called you a report hog."

"Well I'm glad we made up, but now we don't even have a report to hog. Our model is wrecked."

Then Darcy had a good idea. "Maybe. But our project will be better than ever."

"How?"

"Trust me."

Lisa thought and decided to go along. "Okay."

* * *

Finally the moment came.

Ms Shrinivas made the announcement. "And next we have Lisa Loud and Darcy Helmandollar."

Just as Lisa was about to explain everything, Darcy stood up and began to speak.

"Excuse me, Ms S? Can we all go outside? Me and Lisa did something very special for our report."

Their teacher thought and decided to let them go ahead. "I suppose that would be fine."

And so they all headed outside to the spot where the dinosaur bones were all scattered in the mud.

"This is what the dinosaur bones were like before they were found by pale…...pallor….play…..poly….."

"Paleontologists," Lisa corrected.

"Then they came and dug them up like buried treasure."

Everyone was truly amazed. But there was still one thing Lisa knew she had to say.

"Thank you for the help Darcy."

"You're welcome Lisa. That's what friends are for."

Nearby, the twins were busy talking.

"This is gonna take all day, isn't it?" Lana wonders.

"That means we'll have time to finish our report _after_ school."

"Okay, I'll meet you at the house."

"Oh no you won't." Lola then handcuffed herself and Lana together. "We're sticking together until it's done."

Lana sighs with grief. "Oh boy."

* * *

 **Hope you all enjoyed that**

 **Now I have a quick announcement regarding these requests. As of this moment, I've decided that I will NOT be doing any new requests for the time being. Nothing personal, it's just that I want to be able to have more creative freedom. Considering that this is my first fanfic I started on this website, I feel that I should be able to do what I want with it. It's for that reason, plus the fact that I'm thinking about ending it soon. I know this is kind of unexpected, but every story has to end some day.**

 **But don't be too disappointed. I still have plenty more stories to do. But from this moment on, I'll decide for myself what the next stories will be. I'll probably do a few of the requests I've already gotten, but it'll depend. Please try to understand that I'm only doing what I think is best.**

 **And if you guys are wondering about Darcy, yes she'll be included in more stories in the future.**

 **But for now, let's just say this next story will be coming up really soon.**


	85. Special Report

**And now, just for fun, here's a story that takes place during the previous chapter, this time told from another point of view.**

 **Inspired by the _Stanley_ episode _Show and Tell Shark_. **

**(On a side note: today officially marks 18 years since _Stanley_ premiered on Playhouse Disney (happy anniversary))**

* * *

Over at the Loud house, Lola dragged Lana all the way back to their room.

"Ow!" Finally once they got there, Lana snatched her hand back. "Lola! What was that for?"

"Look, we don't have much time. The school report is in a few days. It's bad enough I get paired up with you, but now we have to present in front of the whole school."

"Hey! How come you never trust me whenever we have to work on a project together?"

"Well Lana, how do I put this delicately? Uhh….you're a slacker?"

"I am not a slacker!"

"You are so! When it comes to reports, you're slower than a sloth."

"Oh like _you_ do any better? As I recall, _you_ still have more trouble reading than I do."

"I beg your pardon? Let's not forget, there's no 'I' in 'group'."

"No, but there _is_ a P.U. in 'group', and your attitude stinks."

"Oh, really? And I suppose _you_ have an idea on how we can make our report project even better?"

"As a matter of fact, I _do_. How about instead of just handing in a bunch of words on paper, why don't we bring in an _actual_ animal to school?"

Lola was still finicky about that idea. "Oh sure, I guess that means only one of us will get to have fun."

"Okay, look. All this arguing is getting us nowhere. How about _you_ work on the project, and _I'll_ work on finding the right animal for it?"

"Hmmmm…...I'll probably regret this later, but it's a deal."

The two shook hands, and Lola heads out the door.

"And I don't care _which_ animal it is. Just don't laze around."

"You got it sis."

Lola then shut the door and Lana was alone.

"Ha! This is gonna be a piece of cake." But there was just one issue. "Just as soon as I figure out what animal to choose."

* * *

But as the seconds turned into minutes, and each minute turned into an hour, Lana still couldn't come up with a single animal.

"Come on! Think Lana, think! Ugh! Who knew it'd be so difficult to find the perfect animal?" Lana sighs as she hopped onto her bed. "I wish I had someone to help me think."

Then something popped into her head. "Wait a minute! What am I saying? Of course I know someone who can help!"

So she left her room and went over to her brother's door. She gave it a knock and she got her answer right away.

"Hey Lincoln."

"Hey Lana, what's up?"

"Listen, I have a bit of a problem. You see, I got paired up with Lola for this school assignment and I'm having trouble finding the right animal for it."

"Lana, you know I love helping my sisters, but I have my own assignment to deal with. Besides, if I helped you with your homework all the time, I'd be robbing you of learning on your own."

"Come on Lincoln! It's just one time! I just need your opinion on what animal I should choose! That's it! I can do the rest myself! I promise! Just this once! Please?!"

Lincoln looks in his little sister's eyes and sees that she's in desperate need of help. "Why does their cuteness always get to me? Alright Lana. If you're that desperate, I'll help."

Lana squeals. "Thanks Lincoln!"

* * *

Moments later, the two siblings were in the twins room.

Lana was pacing back and forth trying to think. "Now what should it be?"

"Lana, if I may ask," Lincoln butted in. "If Lola's supposed to be your partner for this project, where is she?"

"She's at the library. She's doing the research for the project. Which for me means she's doing the hard work, while my job has the most importance."

"I'm pretty sure that's not how it works."

"Eh, I wouldn't expect you to understand how a twin comprise works. Basically she does the research and I choose the animal. Just as soon as I can figure out which."

"Well, what animals do you like best?"

"Lots of them. Snakes, reptiles, fish, birds, frogs. I'm not sure what kind Lola likes. She'd probably choose a unicorn, but those don't exist."

"True." Then Lincoln felt something land on top of his head. It was Lana's pet frog. "Hops? What are you doing up there?"

Hops let out a croak.

"You have an idea?"

Hops nodded and whispered in Lincoln's ear.

"Oh that's a great idea! Hey Lana."

But Lana wasn't listening. "Not now Lincoln. I'm thinking. You know what would really be great?"

"Something green?"

"A Tyrannosaurus rex!"

Both Lincoln and Hops looked deadpanned. "Oh. Very nice choice. Very impressive."

"A T-Rex is the mightiest, most ferocious dinosaur ever! I could take him to school on a leash."

"But when you get there, it'll flatten the place! And gobble up your teacher and everyone else in sight!"

Lana saw how that wouldn't be a good idea. "Maybe you're right."

"And besides, the dinosaurs have been extinct for over sixty five million years."

"Extinct?"

"Not on the planet. All gone. You couldn't find a live one even if you wanted to."

"Oh. I knew that. Okay so dinosaurs are out."

"Well maybe you should think of something smaller Lana. You know, something that's alive and lives right nearby."

Lana thought some more. "I've got it! You're gonna love my idea Lincoln. This animal has a great big trunk."

"A great big trunk?" Lincoln saw Hops look through his terrarium and found a miniature treasure chest. "You mean this one?"

"Not _that_ kind of trunk, I mean _this_ kind." Lana holds up a drawing of an elephant.

"But that's an _elephant's_ trunk."

"Right. I'm gonna bring an elephant for the report."

"An elephant. Well I guess there's still elephants on the planet of course."

"Yeah. Right nearby in the zoo. And it's smaller than a T-Rex."

"Yes, but an elephant is _still_ too big to fit into your classroom. Let alone the front door of our house."

"Dang it. What am I supposed to do Lincoln? I've got to choose the right animal, but it can't be extinct and it can't be too big. This is a big school assignment and it's really, really important!"

Lincoln looks towards the audience. "This isn't gonna be easy, is it?"

"I bet they'd never make a lizard do any animal reports. They'd probably get all their facts wrong anyway."

"Well Lana, here's an idea. Instead of thinking about really _big_ animals. Maybe you should try thinking of one that's _little_ , lives near water?"

"Like a pond?"

"A pond _is_ a home to many animals."

"You're right! What a great idea Lincoln! But I can't just bring in any animal." Lana thought of many possible choices. "Let's see, there's ducks, beavers, and storks."

Lincoln winks to the viewers. "And frogs."

"I know! I'll bring them all!"

"What?! Lana, you can't be serious!" Lincoln protests. "How would you ever get all those animals to school?"

"The same way people bring their pet fish home from the pet shop. In a plastic bag filled with water."

"I don't think there's a plastic bag big enough Lana Loud. For one thing you'd need a _crate_ to carry those animals in."

"Okay, so I need a crate. But this is gonna be the best animal report ever. Nobody else at school has those kinds of animals."

Lincoln gave her an unamused look. "I think there might be a _reason_ for that Lana. Plus those animals would need lots of pond water to swim in. Or at least a big pond as big as our house."

Then Lana had a (not-so) good idea.

* * *

Both the Loud siblings were out in the front yard. Lana took the garden hose, placed it in the window and turned it on.

"Lana, what do you think you're doing?" Lincoln asked.

"I'm filling the whole house with water," the young tomboy answered. "Once those animals see it, they'll come right in."

"Sis, are you crazy?"

"Relax, it's not like I'm filling the upstairs with water too. Besides, it's for the report."

"Alright, if you say so. But if mom and dad see the house is all flooded, they're not going to like it."

"Aw quit your worrying Lincoln. Everything will be fine."

"Well there's another flaw. Just water isn't enough. They like to be surrounded by plants. Like tall grass, reeds, cattails, goldenrods, things like that."

Lana looks around and found some similar plants in the pots. So she took them and threw them into the house completing the habitat. "This should do the trick."

Sure enough, it did. A flock of wild animals flew into the Loud house. Lana and Lincoln followed them through the window.

"I don't believe it," Lincoln exclaims. "It's like an actual pond in here!"

Indeed. The room was full of herons, swans, boa constrictors, raccoons and everything in between. But soon enough, they all began making a mess of the living room. Hops heard all the commotion and came downstairs, jumping into Lana's overall pocket.

"You know?" Lana wonders. "I'm beginning to think that maybe inviting them into our house _wasn't_ such a good idea."

"I'll say," Lincoln agrees. "They're gonna need a whole lot of food real quick!"

"Well what do most of them like to eat?"

"Oh, not much. Just mice, lizards, fish, clams, mollusks, insects and FROGS!"

"But I don't have any of those that they can eat! Well I mean I do, but those are my friends!"

"Well maybe you shouldn't bring any of those animals to school!"

"Well I can't help it if I love animals so much. And I don't see _you_ trying to talk me out of letting a bunch of animals into our house!"

"Well why did you even ask for my advice in the first place?"

"Because I don't think well when I'm under pressure!"

"Well how do you think _I_ feel?"

Then Lana heard snarling. She turned around and saw that the pond animals were all staring at Hops with greedy eyes and smiles. "Uhh… Lincoln? Why are they all looking at Hops like that?"

"Well you see, to _you_ , Hops is a _friend_ , Lana. But to _them_ , he's a _snack_!"

"What?! Oh no! I gotta save Hops and get those animals away from him!"

"Don't worry sis! I'll help you!" Lincoln ran upstairs and took whatever he could find. He then began throwing it all towards the animals, from toys to furniture. But even with that, it still wasn't enough.

"Lincoln, it's not working!" Lana said frantically. "They're still hungry!"

"I know! And we're running out of things to feed them!"

Thinking quickly, Lana took out a small piece of paper and drew a frog on it.

"Here! Eat this!"

Lana threw the picture into the water and the animals began chasing it. Once they were distracted, Lana, Lincoln and Hops all ran up the stairs and hid in Lana's room.

"Whew! We did it!" Lana cheers.

"Yeah," Lincoln panted. "But how are we gonna get all those animals out of the house?"

"Well maybe if we…"

Then Lana's thought was interrupted when they heard the sound of the front door open. Then all of the water drained out and all of the pond animals flew out in a frenzy. And then….well I think you can guess what they heard next.

"LANA LOUD!"

* * *

Moments later, both Lincoln and Lana were stuck cleaning up the mess. Including soaking up the water with towels and drying the pets off with the blow dryer.

"Oh well," Lana sighs. "Mom and dad wanted us to clean the house anyway. I guess this is a start."

"I'm just glad all those crazy animals are out of the house." Then Charles, Cliff, Walt and Geo gave him an angry stare. "Oh, except for you guys of course."

Then Lana felt something land on her hat. She looked up and saw it was her best friend frog. "Aw, they would have eaten you up Hops! I'm really, really sorry for scaring you like that."

Hops just gave her a hug in forgiveness and gratitude.

"Well we're all good now, aren't we Lana?" Lincoln said. "Except now you don't have a super special animal anymore for your report."

Lana realized it was true. "Oh you're right. What am I going to do?"

"I don't know. That's a toughie."

"Oh man! If I don't find an animal, we're both going to be in big trouble. The T-Rex didn't work out because it would have wrecked the school."

"Plus it's extinct."

"The elephant was too big, and I've had it with underwater creatures because they tried to eat up my favorite…." Lana then realized something she should have all along. "...my favorite animal in the whole wide world! That's Hops!" Hops just smiles and blushed. "Why didn't I think of him right off?"

"Maybe because he's not that super special?"

"Are you kidding? Of course he's special! I mean how many other kids have a pet frog who can do tricks? Maybe he's not the biggest animal, but he's definitely one of the bestest."

"I knew you'd figure that out sooner or later. Well I gotta go. See ya."

"Thanks Lincoln!" Lana waves to her brother as he left the room. She then looked to her little amphibious friend. "You were trying to tell me that all along, weren't you buddy?"

Hops gave her a nod.

"Aw, sorry I didn't listen to you. But you're gonna be a big hit at school."

* * *

Later that evening, Lincoln was getting ready for bed when he heard a knock at the door. He opened it to see it was his little sister.

"Hey Lana. What are you doing up?"

"Hey Lincoln. Listen, I just wanted to thank you for helping me."

"No problem Lana. But you know, you kinda solved your own problem."

"Yeah, I guess I did. The animal I was looking for was right with me the whole time, and it took me a while to realize it."

"Well sis, sometimes what you're looking for might be closer than you think."

"Yeah. But you know what else I learned?"

"What?"

"That maybe your not the strongest brother in the world, but you're definitely the most caring. You're always there for us when we need you and I couldn't ask for a better brother."

Lincoln smiles. "And I couldn't ask for any better sisters. Goodnight Lana."

"Goodnight Lincoln."

Lana headed back to her own bed. But she had a few last words to say to her twin.

"Hey Lola, I hope you don't mind that I chose Hops for our report."

"Oh I don't mind. But I do have _one_ condition. The next time we do an animal report, _I_ get to pick. Deal?"

"Twin deal."

And the two went to sleep.

* * *

 **Hope you all enjoyed that.**

 **Now I'm not sure what I plan to do next, so it might take a while. But I can assure you, this fanfiction is not finished yet.**

 **(Also, just a quick note: for those of you who aren't aware, that part where Lana mentions a lizard doing animal reports is a reference to Henry the Lizard, the main character of another animal show that aired on the Disney Channel _Amazing Animals_ (another one of my favorite (and also slightly forgotten) tv shows))**

 **Until next time, stay tuned**


	86. The Phantom of DairyLand

**Hey guys**

 **Sorry to keep you waiting longer than expected. I've been really busy over the past few weeks. But considering that the holiday season is coming up, I figured it would be fun to do another Halloween story. However, this one technically doesn't take place during Halloween per se, but it does fit with the theme of the holiday nonetheless.**

 **Inspired by the _Jimmy Neutron_ episode _The Phantom of Retroland_**

 **Please enjoy.**

* * *

It started out in the Loud house living room. Lisa was demonstrating yet another one of her scientific (and quite frankly tedious) presentations. It was a ring of dominos set on the coffee table with a pendulum swinging back and forth.

"Behold my latest experiment," the young scientist exclaimed. "What you see here is a demonstration that explains the earth is spherical and therefore revolves. Because the earth is constantly rotating beneath the pendulum, any moment now, the first domino will move in front of it and be knocked over."

As can be expected, one domino did get knocked down by the pendulum.

"Wow!" Leni said excitedly. "When is it gonna knock down another one?"

"In precisely one hour," Lisa confirms.

Of course, all she got in response was a groan.

"Hey Lisa? Not that this isn't informative," Lynn stated, "but why are you even showing us this?"

"For your information, I wanted to demonstrate my presentation to the class and I need an opinion from my peers."

"Here's my reaction to that." Lola pretended to sleep while standing up to prove her point.

"Yeah I'm gonna have to agree with Lola here," Lincoln states. "Why don't you just take a pillow to school so everyone can just fall asleep?"

"They have those provided already, thank you very much." Of course, Lisa did not approve of that comment. "You people clearly have no appreciation for science."

Lana rolled her eyes. "Well maybe it wouldn't be so _hard_ to appreciate if you didn't make it sound so boring."

"Perhaps it wouldn't be so boring if you would just pay attention for once."

"Okay, that's enough!" Lori halted. "I don't care about what's boring and what's not. All I know is that if we don't get to school right now, mom and dad will never let us hear the end of it."

"Fine by me dude," Luna said. "I'd rather listen to a lullaby than sit through this."

"Ditto for me," Luan agrees.

* * *

Once they got to school, Lincoln made his way to his locker. "Man, what a drag."

"Tell me about it."

Lincoln saw Clyde and his friends Rusty, Zach and Liam.

"I haven't had to suffer this much since the day I got stuck plowing vegetables into my pa's grain silo," Liam stated.

"Eh, I've had worser days," Lincoln shrugs. "So you guys got anything planned after school today?"

"Oh not much," said Rusty. "We were thinking of heading to Dairyland."

"Yeah," Zach confirms. "They're introducing this new thing called Fantastic Feta Friday."

"You can come if you want," Clyde offers.

"Sure," Lincoln said. "I've got nothing better to do anyway."

Then they heard a voice coming from behind. "I wouldn't stay out too late if I were you."

The turned around and Lincoln was less than amused to see who it was. "What are you talking about Chandler?"

"I'm just saying. You wouldn't want to stick around late at night, unless you'd rather not be seen again."

"And just what are you getting at?"

"Are you telling me you guys have _never_ heard of the phantom of Dairyland?"

The boys just shook their heads.

"Well listen up." Then suddenly, the lights dimmed down. "Way back when the amusement park just opened up, a group of young kids were anxious to see it. But unfortunately, they couldn't. Because they lived so far away, by the time they arrived, the place had closed for the night. But those kids wouldn't give up. So what did they do? They snuck in. At first they thought it was safe, but little did they know, they were wrong. That was when they were met with…... the phantom of Dairyland! He had the most terrifying face you could ever imagine, he wore a long black cloak, and had a long stick of mozzarella cheese for a right leg. Too terrified to run, the kids were devoured and were never seen again. Nowadays the phantom roams around Dairyland at midnight looking for more scrumptious children to eat." Then the lights came back on, and flickered.

"Huh," Clyde wonders. "Is it me, or do the lights seem faulty wired?"

"Hold it Chandler," Lincoln protests. "How do we know you're not just making this up?"

"Oh I have my sources, Loud," Chandler responded. "And trust me, no one who's ever been inside Dairyland after midnight has _ever_ been seen again."

"Oh please. You're just trying to scare us."

"Oh I am, am I? Well then, I guess you wouldn't mind going there after midnight to see for yourself? Even if I was to say…. _quintuple_ dog dare you?"

Even Rusty, Zach and Liam were shocked by that.

"Oh dang!" Liam said. "You gotta watch out for those quintuple dog dares."

But Lincoln stood his ground. "Okay. I'll go tonight. And tomorrow, I'll be in class completely alive. And just to prove it, I'll bring along Clyde, Liam, Rusty and Zach as my witnesses."

"Alright Loud," Chandler confronted. "It's your funeral. Don't worry, I'll say goodbye to your sisters for you."

Chandler then left, leaving the boys (except Lincoln) in fear.

"Oh man! This is bad!" Zach exclaimed. "Lincoln's gonna get eaten by the phantom and so are we! What do we do?"

However, Rusty wasn't listening. "Has anyone ever noticed that Lincoln's cowlick is always on the left side of his head? Like it never seems to…...wait, what!?"

"Lincoln, I don't think we should do this!" Clyde begs. "Remember the House of Terror?"

"Hey, we made it out alive, didn't we? If we can handle a big scary haunted house, surely we can stand up to a kid-eating phantom. Besides, even if it isn't real, it would still make for a great adventure."

"Well if you say so. But if the phantom eats us and we become ghosts, please promise me we'll still be friends."

"Don't worry Clyde, we'll be fine."

After Lincoln's friends had left, the sole Loud brother looked towards his locker. "So I'm assuming you heard all that…... _Lisa_?"

Then a familiar voice came out of it. "Uhhh…...all operators are busy. Please hang up and dial again."

Lincoln wasn't buying it. "Come on sis. I know you're in my locker," he said opening the door revealing his genius sister all crammed inside.

"Dang it."

"You do realize you're a bad liar, right."

"Your criticism of my capability of telling such fictitious fabrications has no effect on my emotionless state of mind. Also I took the liberty of reorganizing the contents of your locker."

"Hey! Leave my system alone. And why were you eavesdropping on me?"

"Considering our track record, don't you think you should have figured out the answer by now?"

"Okay, you got a point there."

"Anyways, to follow up on your question, I was listening just to see how preposterous this so-called mission of yours is."

"Are you saying I _couldn't_ find a phantom even if I wanted to?"

"In short: yes."

Then Lincoln got an even more sinister idea. "Okay Lisa, if you're so smart, why don't you prove it?"

"And just _what_ are you implying?"

"Since Chandler dared me to go out at midnight, I'm daring _you_ to come along with me and my friends. So are you in or in?"

Lisa thought for a moment. "Given those choices, I'm in. But only to justify my theory. And while we're at it, why don't we, as they say, raise the stakes?"

"Okay. If I prove the phantom _is_ real, you have to do my homework for a month and I get full access to your underground base."

"And _when_ I prove this phantom _doesn't_ exist, you have to be my personal lab assistant for a year and yell from the rooftop for the whole neighborhood to hear that you sleep with a stuffed rabbit."

"Deal!"

The two shook hands.

* * *

That night, the Louds were back at home and Lincoln was in his bed.

"You sure you don't want any warm milk to help you get to sleep, dude?" Luna asked.

"No thanks Luna," Lincoln yawns. "I'm tired enough as it is. That math test sure can wear you down."

"Well at least you get to sleep easily," Lola complains. "I slept so much in school, my eyes won't even close."

"Well whenever I can't sleep," Lana suggests. "I try listing in my mind all the animals of the world in alphabetical order starting with buffalo."

"What about aardvarks?" Luan asked.

Lana slaps her forehead. "D'oh! I forgot about that!"

Lynn thought of another one. "And alligators."

"Right, alligators."

"And there's ants."

"Anteaters."

"Antelope."

"Arctic hares."

The girls listed so many, it was hard for Lana to keep track of them all. "Wow, I never knew there were so many animals that started with A."

The girls then left to their own rooms. Once they were out of sight and earshot, Lincoln hopped out of bed already in his polo, jeans and sneakers. He then made his way to the youngest sisters room.

Lisa opens her door. "Greetings elder brother."

"Ready to eat your words Lisa?"

"Quite the contrary Lincoln, the only words that will be consumed are your own."

"Whatever. By the way, how do we make sure nobody knows we're going."

"Already covered." Lisa points towards her bed showing what appears to be her sleeping. "I've installed lifelike holographic projections into each of our rooms."

Lisa took out a remote and pointed it towards Lincoln's room, flipping through the many different projections. Until finally, she managed to find one that shows Lincoln asleep in his bed.

"Wow!" Lincoln said amazed. "Impressive Lisa."

"We geniuses are full of surprises. Let's just get this over with."

The two siblings then headed down stairs. But what they didn't know was that the hologram projectors started to malfunction, causing the projections to go on the fritz.

* * *

Meanwhile, Clyde was arriving at the Loud house, still hesitant about the plan.

He took out a note and began reading it out loud. "' _To my best friend Lincoln, I'm sorry I can not make it tonight as I have decided to relocate my residence. This comes as a short notice, but unfortunately…..'_ "

Then Clyde stopped once he saw his best friend and his sister standing in the doorway. "Oh hi Lincoln. Hi Lisa. I thought you said 11:30."

"I predicted that by that time you would have changed your identity, packed up and moved to another state by then Clyde," Lisa responded.

"Trust me," Lincoln said. "Lisa's always a step ahead."

The kids then made their way to DairyLand where they met up with Rusty, Liam and Zach at the entrance gate.

"Guys!" Lincoln exclaims. "You made it! How'd you sneak out?"

"Oh I just told my memaw I had to go to an amusement park and get eaten by a maniac," Liam explains. "She told me to wear clean underwear."

"Yeah, same on our end," said Zach.

"Rocky asked if he could come along," Rusty states. "But I told him it might be too scary."

Lisa shook her head. "Yet he somehow has a fondness over Lucy?"

"Well anyway, we're here," Lincoln declares. "Now how do you think we get inside?"

"Maybe if we had some balloons, we could fly over the gate," Rusty suggested.

"Are you kidding?" Zach criticized. "I say we stack ourselves up and open the gate from the inside."

"Or we could just turn around and go home." Clyde was about the chicken out, but Lincoln grabbed him by the sleeve.

"Oh no you don't. We're doing this together. Now listen, I have a plan. One of us will have to give Lisa a leg up so she can unlock the gate from the other side."

"That might work," Liam said.

"I think Rusty should do it," Zach suggested. "He's the tallest out of all of us."

"Alright then." Rusty let down both hands as Lisa approached.

"Just to be clear, I'm only doing this to prove your beliefs are ludicrous," Lisa clarifies.

She was then given a leg up over the fence and was able to unlock the gate.

"Piece of cake."

Then everyone headed inside.

"Oh Mr Phantom!" Lisa called out mockingly. "Come out, come out wherever you are!"

"Uhh Lisa?" Clyde begged. "I don't think you should call this much attention to us."

But Lisa of course paid no mind. "It's one minute until midnight! Where are you?"

"I reckon that maniac is probably on daylight savings time," Liam wonders.

"In that case, I say it's _time_ we _save our skins_ before he scares the _daylights_ out of us," said Zach.

Then Rusty took out a little black book.

"What's that?" Lincoln asked.

"My autograph book. The phantom is going right here next to my dad. And Santa Claus." But then Rusty paused as he noticed that both autographs looked exactly the same. "Hey! Wait a minute!"

* * *

Meanwhile back at the Loud house, the two oldest sisters were getting ready for bed. Lori was looking at her phone when Leni walked in looking confused.

"You know it's weird," she said. "Linky's in his room but so is the backyard."

Lori shook her head in disbelief. "I keep telling that twerp to dust off his shirt before he comes inside."

"No, I mean the entire backyard is in Linky's room."

Lori looked both surprised and suspicious.

At the same time, Lisa and the boys were still searching the amusement park.

"I wonder what order the phantom will eat us in," Rusty whispered. "Oldest to youngest or shortest to tallest."

"No fear of that, because your theory is about to be debunked in precisely…" Lisa checked her watch. "...3, 2, 1 and midnight! Ha! I was right! Hope you enjoy being my lab rat Lincoln, because you're gonna be testing a lot of experiments."

Lincoln sighs. "Okay Lisa, you win. I guess I was really, really wrong."

Clyde patted his shoulder. "Don't be too hard on yourself buddy."

"Yeah," Zach agrees. "No one can be right about everything."

"Try telling that to a scientist," Lincoln says.

Just then, the boys began noticing an unusual smell.

"Who cut the cheese?" Clyde asked covering his face.

Lincoln groaned. "Come on guys! I'm telling you, it's not me this time!"

"No I mean I actually smell sliced cheese."

Liam noticed it too. "He's right. And it's not just any cheese. It kinda smells like…"

"Mozzarella?" Zach finished.

"Afraid so."

Then they all turned around and saw a spooky figure with a dark cloak and a mozzarella stick for a leg.

Lisa stepped forward. "Stand your ground gentlemen! It's obviously a trick!"

But as the phantom came closer, the boys ran away and dragged Lisa along with them.

The chase went on all throughout the entire park. At one point, they were even being chased through different booths to the point where they were so mixed up, they ended up chasing each other. (Think of it as those famous hallway door scenes from _Scooby-Doo_ ).

"Okay, how does this keep happening?" Lincoln questioned.

Next, they made their way to a ride that looked like a huge pendulum.

"This is absolutely stupid!" Lisa complained to her brother. "I can't be you dragged me into this!"

"Well Lisa, as much as I'd dislike to argue with you, there's one thing I hate more than being wrong. And that's being eaten alive."

Once they all made it to the ride, they got inside the cart, but the phantom was still following them.

"We're toast!" Clyde shouts. "He's just gonna climb in!"

"Not if we're moving." Lincoln took his flashlight and tossed it towards the control panel, therefore activating the ride.

"Ha!" Rusty taunted. "Try to get us now mister pizza-topping leg!"

"Uhh Rusty? This ride only lasts for three minutes," Zach pointed out.

"Dang it."

"You know, normally when I'm on these kinds of rides, it always makes me…" unfortunately, Clyde wasn't able to finish his sentence as the ride made him nauseous. So he ended up vomiting all over his shirt. "Nevermind."

Although Lisa was still in a mood. "I reiterate: I can't believe I got dragged into this."

"You know Lisa," Lincoln states. "I'm starting to realize that there's two things you won't ever admit. When you're scared, and when you're wrong."

"And I'm starting to realize that you won't ever admit you're an ignoramus. Looks like I'm gonna have to show you that stupid phantom is a superstition."

"And how are you gonna do that?"

"Allow me to demonstrate." Lisa focuses her wristwatch towards the top of the ride and used the laser to cut the railing, making the pendulum swing more freely. "If my hypothesis is correct, and it most definitely should be, now that the pendulum is swing freely, the earth shall slowly rotate beneath it."

"So?"

Lisa groaned. "So imagine that the phantom is a domino."

And in no time at all, the pendulum came right down towards the phantom and knocked him against a wall. Once the ride had stopped, the kids all got out and approached him.

"Now let's see who this phantom really is," Lisa declares.

Then the phantom spoke. "Ew! What's that smell?"

"I barfed on my sweater," Clyde apologized. "Sorry."

But Lincoln soon recognized that spoken voice. "Hey, wait a minute. I know that voice. It must be…"

That was when Lisa unmasked the phantom, revealing it to be… "Chandler McCann! I should have known."

"Ha! Sure showed him!" Rusty exclaimed. "Now let's get out of here before the _real_ phantom shows up."

Lisa tossed her head in discontent. "You clods. There is no real phantom. It was just Chandler playing a trick."

"And I would've gotten away with it too," Chandler said. "If it wasn't for the Loud kid's meddling sister."

Lincoln looks towards the audience. "Seriously? Why does that sound so familiar?"

Lisa still put her foot down. "I stand by my statement. There's _no_ phantom of Dairyland."

"I beg to differ!"

Right as she said that, another ' _phantom_ ' popped up.

"What's that smell?"

"You mean _your_ mozzarella leg, _Chandler's_ mozzarella leg, or Clyde's sweater?" Lincoln guessed.

And soon enough, another chase began to ensue.

Just then, the ' _phantom's_ ' cloak got snagged on a loose nail, and the ones behind the act were none other than the two Loud twins.

"It's only Lola and Lana!" Lincoln says.

"But why?" Lisa asked.

Lola was quite infuriated. "Why? Why!? I'll tell you why! Because your wretched demonstration wasted a good thirty minutes of my life!"

"So basically," Lana further elaborated, "we just took an old cloak and mask to scare Lisa right out of her skin. And trust me, I hate seeing Lola this furious."

"So you put on that costume just to teach Lisa a lesson?" Lincoln questioned.

"Well that," Lola continues, "but also because I get a kick out of seeing you scared out of your pants."

Lincoln rolls his eyes in annoyance.

Lana then pulled a small folded up paper out of her back pocket. "Well anyway, on our way over here, I made a list of all the animals in alphabetical order, and I'm pretty sure I got all the A ones."

"Did you include axolotl?"

That made Lana frustrated again. "Dang it! I forgot axolotl!" But her frustration briefly turned to confusion. "What's an axolotl again?"

"It's like a salamander," Lincoln answered.

Then…..again…...the kids were then greeted by another ' _phantom_ ' just as they were leaving.

"Leaving so soon?" Asked the ' _phantom_ '. "What's that smell?"

"You mean _your_ mozzarella leg, _Chandler's_ mozzarella leg, _the twins_ mozzarella leg, or Clyde's sweater?" Lincoln guessed.

This time, Lisa was done once and for all. "That's it! Alright whoever you are, I've had it with all these shenanigans!"

But when Lisa tore off the cloak, it revealed not a person in disguise, but what appeared to be a phantom like creature. Then everyone screamed at the top of their lungs and ran all the way home.

"But Lisa!" Clyde said. "What about science?"

Lisa didn't want to admit it, but she really was scared. "Science, schmience! Run for your lives!"

Now this ' _phantom_ ' was revealed to be Lori in a costume.

"Ha! That'll teach Lisa to use her holograms to sneak out after dark. Excellent use of the fog machine Luna."

"Don't mention it," Luna bowed.

"So how long do you think that brainiac is going to be scared?" Lynn asked Lori.

"Oh I'd say as long as it takes to admit when she's foolish."

"Can we get out of here now?" Leni begged. "This place is giving me the shivers."

"Sure Leni." Just then, another spooky figure came up behind the oldest sister. "Okay Luan, you can take off the costume now."

"Uhh…...Lori? I'm right here."

As soon as she saw Luan was right by her side, Lori began to realize that the figure behind her was actually the real phantom.

Then they all ran home screaming.

Except for one more Loud sister. And…..well I think you can guess who I'm talking about.

"Heh heh," Lucy chuckles. "Nothing like giving a good scare. Thanks for the help Mr Phantom."

"Don't mention it Lucy," the phantom replies.

* * *

 **So there you have it**

 **Happy Halloween everyone!**


	87. I was a Loud Zombie

**And now here's a request from musiclover2008**

 **But before we begin, I have a statement to make. Now I know what I said before about requests, but I just wanted to clarify that I will _not_ , and I repeat _NOT_ , be taking any _new_ ones. What I said was that I'll only be doing a few requests that I've received in the past and they will be ones that _I_ select. Since I've been really busy with other things and the fact that I'm thinking of wrapping this story up, I'm not gonna be able to do _every_ single request I receive.**

 **In short: I'll do a _few_ requests that I already have, selected by choice, but that's it **

**Now that we've got that out of the way, let's begin.**

 **Based on the _Penguins of Madagascar_ episode _I was a Penguin Zombie._**

* * *

This all started at Ketchum Park. Lincoln Loud and his sisters Lucy, Lana, Lola, Lisa and Lily were all enjoying themselves.

Lucy was writing her poems in the shade, Lisa was busy watching Lily, and Lincoln was standing next to the biggest tree in the park watching the twins having a tree climbing contest.

Lola was reaching the same branch as Lana. "Ha! I told you I could climb higher then you!"

Lana scoffs. "Oh please. You couldn't beat the alphabet to the top of a coconut tree!"

"Well maybe you should be classified as a cat!"

"How so?"

"Because whenever you climb a tree, you're too scared to come back down again."

"So what? Like you never get scared of anything."

"Ha! You should be asking Lincoln that. He's a bigger scaredy-cat than Leni."

"Hey!" Lincoln shouts from the ground. "I can hear you!"

"I know!"

"And just so you know, I can climb to the top of this tree than the two of you put together."

"Oh you could not."

"I could so."

"Well if you think it's so easy, let's see you do it. Go on, I dare you."

Of course Lincoln wasn't one to stray away from a challenge. Especially when it came from one of his little sisters. "You're on!"

So Lincoln grabbed whatever courage he had and began climbing to the top of the tree. Both Lola and Lana watched as he managed to make it all the way to the top.

"Piece of cake."

But of course, his victory wouldn't last that long, as a branch had snapped right under him.

"Dang it."

Then immediately, Lincoln came falling down to the ground, hitting some branches along the way. The other girls heard the commotion and rushed right over.

As Lincoln got up from the ground, Lily it seems was the most concerned. "Incoln, okay?"

"Yeah Lily. Lincoln's okay."

But the other girls begged to differ.

"What? what's the matter?"

"Woah, big bro," Lana said. "That is one messed up limb."

"Huh?" Lincoln was confused. Until he saw that his left arm was all bent and twisted. "Oh, you mean this? Aw, it's nothing."

"Sure doesn't look like nothing," Lucy said.

"Believe me. It's nothing." But Lincoln's wincing in pain said otherwise. "But maybe it's best if we all go home for now. It's almost dinner time anyway."

* * *

On the way home, Lincoln kept assuring his arm was fine, but the girls couldn't stop thinking about how bad his injury was (or could be).

"Are you sure you're okay Lincoln?" Lana asked. "Maybe you should rest."

"Guys, I'm fine," Lincoln says. "Why would I need to rest?"

"Hello!" Lola gestured. "Your arm's all bent out of shape!"

"You girls and your maternal instincts. My arm's perfectly healthy. It just needs an ice pack and it'll be alright."

"We're just looking out for you big brother," stated Lucy.

"I know. But sometimes you guys worry too much."

Then Lori and the older girls came outside.

"Okay everyone, time to….." then Lori paused in shock. "OH MY GOSH! LINCOLN!"

Then all five of the oldest Loud sisters ran over to their brother.

"Woah!" Lynn said. "What happened to your arm?"

"Lincoln fell out of a tree," Lucy answered.

"It's okay guys," Lincoln said as he winced in pain. "I'm fine."

"Dude, does it look like you're fine?" Luna questioned.

"Yeah," Luan agrees. "You're arm's so messed up, I can't even crack a smile. No pun intended."

"You should have came and told us right away," Leni said. "We can help you."

"Guys, I'm alright. I can take care of myself, no problem…...OOOWWW!" Just as Lincoln was about to get up from the ground, the weight he was putting on his broken arm made it hurt even more.

Lori picked him up herself. "Lincoln, listen to yourself! You're not okay! Your arm's in bad shape and it's only going to get worse unless we do something about it! Come on. We're going to the hospital."

Lincoln realized he couldn't fight it. If his arm was ever going to be healed, then he needed medical attention. "Okay, okay. You win. I'll go."

"That's more like it. Alright guys, into the van."

So Lori led the older girls and Lincoln into the van and they all drove off.

The youngest sisters just watched the car drive away.

"Well, that went faster than expected," Lucy said.

"This is all your fault!" Lana points to her twin. "If you hadn't dared Lincoln to climb that tree in the park, this never would have happened!"

Lola pointed back. "Well you were the one who thought it would be fun to climb a tree in the first place!"

Both Lucy and Lisa watched the twins have their usual quarrel.

"I really wish they would stop that," sighed Lucy.

So Lisa decided to put a stop to it herself. "Alright you two! Shut your pie holes! Now is not the time for squabbling! We need to get to the hospital pronto! Lola, get your car."

"Hold on a minute. Since when do I have to do what you say?"

"Since I once did a favor for you." Lisa held up a handmade favor coupon. "If I could even call it a favor."

Lola growled.

* * *

Meanwhile, Lori and the others made it to the hospital in time. After checking in, they immediately contacted the mother of the Loud children.

As for Lincoln himself, he was still pretty nervous. By the time Rita came in, the doctor had already taken X-rays of his arm.

"Yes I see," the doctor said. "Just as I figured. The impact of the ground caused Lincoln's radius to snap in half."

Rita was worried herself. "Oh, is he gonna be okay?"

"Nothing to worry about Mrs Loud. It should heal overtime. But we're gonna have to get him fitted for a cast and put it in a sling." The doctor turned to the Loud boy, who was still shivering in fear. "Now don't worry young man. I know you don't like the big scary needles. So this time, we're going to use a topical cream instead."

"Topical cream? How is anything that smells like shoe polish supposed to…."

However, Lincoln was unable to finish his sentence. As soon as the doctor applied the cream, his entire left side was numb. He couldn't move his leg, arm or even the left side of his mouth, leaving him unable to speak.

"The cream as you can see is a highly effective muscle relaxing agent. This way, Lincoln won't feel anything while we get his arm all set."

"Oh, I can't thank you enough doctor," Rita cried.

"It's really your daughters you should be thanking. If they had brought him in later, who knows how much worse it could have gotten? However, after we get the cast on, I'm afraid your son will have to stay here overnight."

"I understand."

* * *

While all this was happening, the twins, Lucy, Lily and Lisa all hopped into Lola's princess car and arrived at the hospital.

Upon their arrival, the girls immediately ran in.

"Well it took a lot of motor oil, and possibly a lot of speeding tickets," Lisa stated. "But at least we made it."

"I just hope we aren't too late," Lana panted. "Did anyone remember to bring Bun-Bun?"

"Lily has it," Lucy said.

Lily was seen in Lucy's arms holding the stuffed bunny. "Bun-Bun."

"I just hope he's okay. He seemed to be in a lot of pain."

"As if he didn't have enough pain to deal with back at home," Lola states.

"I can't help but fear the worst," Lucy said. "It may start out as a broken arm, but it may escalate to something far more devastating."

"What if Lincoln ends up getting mutated?" Lana panicked. "What if he grows a second head? What if the medicine they give him turns him into a werewolf? Actually that'd be pretty cool."

Lisa shook her head. "You two are delirious. All Lincoln received was a fracture to his radius. I assure you, he'll be alright."

"Yeah, you're probably right. But maybe we should make sure just in case."

* * *

So in a matter of seconds, the girls all were trying to meet a nearby air vent by forming what they called a 'sister ladder'. Lola was at the very top, beneath her was Lisa, followed by Lucy, followed by Lana.

Lily sat on a nearby bench.

At the very bottom, Lana was struggling to hold them all up. "You know guys? We always do it this way, but something seems wrong about it."

"Yeah, what's wrong is you're very squirmy!" Lola scolds. "Hold still, would you?"

"Do you hear anything?" Lisa asked.

"Hang on." Lola put her ear to the vent and listened closely. What she heard was what appeared to be a doctor talking to a nurse.

" _Oh doctor, please! You have to do something!"_

 _"I'm afraid I cannot nurse. This patient's infection has spread to his brain. There's no hope left. Im calling it a day."_

 _"But you can't!"_

 _"I'm sorry. I have no other choice."_

The girls were all shocked at the news. But as it turns out, that dialogue came from a television that a patient was watching. Then another sound came from a different room that had a patient with a bad cough. At that point, the girls began to assume the worst.

Just then, the kids' mother Rita came out of the room.

"Mom! What's going on? Is Lincoln okay?"

Rita kneeled down to her daughters. "Kids, I'm sorry to tell you this. But Lincoln will have to stay overnight."

After making that announcement, Rita led her kids to the car.

"Lisa?" Lana wonders. "Does this mean…..?"

"I'm afraid so," Lisa lamented.

Lana began to cry too. "We were…..too late."

Even Lucy began to shed a tear.

* * *

Back at the hospital, Lincoln was in his bed with a cast on his arm in a sling. But while he was recovering, he still felt homesick. He couldn't even sleep without his sisters kissing him goodnight. So he decided he wanted to go home early.

But there was just one issue.

Due to the ointment, not only was Lincoln's vision imperfect, but entire left side was completely numb. Which meant he couldn't use his left leg or even talk straight.

But even so, he made his way out of bed. Unfortunately though, he bumped into a nearby counter and got wrapped up in bandages like a mummy.

Regardless though, Lincoln walked out of the hospital room and headed towards his house, dragging his leg along the way.

* * *

Back at the Loud house, after everyone finished dinner, both the parents and the five oldest sisters went to bed, but the five youngest sisters were all at the kiddie table looking at their desserts completely melted.

"Sigh, this just isn't the same without Lincoln," Lucy lamented.

"Maybe one of us could pretend to be Lincoln," Lana suggests. "I could paint my hair white."

Lola rolls her eyes. "Oh great idea Lana. No one's gonna find out that you're gone and Lincoln's three feet tall."

"Oh boy, do I love it when you get sarcastic like that." Lana began to realize her idea wouldn't work after all. "Who am I kidding? It just doesn't fill the void."

"Well aside from the fact that we might not see our older brother anytime soon," Lisa said. "I don't see what else can go wrong."

But just then, a huge thunderstorm came raging in. Then a flash of lightning hit a nearby power line and made all the lights in the house shut off in an instant.

"Dang it."

"Normally I would enjoy this," Lucy said. "But in this case, I'm making an exception."

"Don't worry," Lana assures. "I'll just turn on my head lamp."

"You have a headlamp?" Lola questioned.

"Yep." Then Lana switched on her head lamp in order to shed a little light.

"Where'd you get that?"

"Remember that flashlight I taped to my hard hat?"

"Oh yeah."

Just then, they all heard something.

"What was that?"

"Sounds like it came from the front door," Lisa hypothesized.

Lana points the light towards the front door, and they all saw some familiar face totter into the house.

"It's…..it's…."

"Winky!" Lily cried happily.

Indeed, it was Lincoln. Only he didn't look like himself. His hair was all ruffled, his clothes were tattered and torn, his left leg was limping and his tongue was hanging on the side of his mouth.

"Linky?"

"Lola, I'm afraid that's not our brother," Lucy said. "At least not anymore. Didn't you hear what the doctor said? That infection spread to his brain. Must've done something horrible?"

"How horrible?"

"If by horrible, you mean our brother's brain being infected with a contagious virus that turned him into a zombie that's coming right towards us to devour our brains," Lisa wildly guessed. "Then I would say horrifically horrible!"

"Okay, now its time for me to suggest something," Lana said. "RUN FOR IT!"

Immediately, the kids ran right out the backdoor into the yard. When looking for a place to take shelter, they all hide in Lisa's bunker.

Lola began to panic. "Oh man! What have I done! This whole day was just supposed to be harmless fun! Now my big brother is a zombie! My precious brain isn't safe out there!"

Lana slapped her in the face and shook her. "Pull yourself together sis! Our parents and older sisters could be in trouble! It's up to us now!"

Lola managed to regain her sanity. "Thanks Lana. I needed that."

"Anytime Lols."

Lily was still cuddling Lincoln's favorite toy. "Winky?"

Lana picked her up. "Aw don't cry Lily. We'll protect you."

"We should all be safe inside my bunker," Lisa proclaims. "I took every precaution to make sure that undead zombie shall not penetrate."

Then everyone had uneasy looks on their faces.

"And he's right in here, isn't he?"

Everyone nodded. Lisa looks behind her to find that 'zombie' Lincoln was standing right behind her.

"How'd he get in here?"

"Seriously?" Lana scolded. "You really should have made a better passcode than your birthday."

Then immediately, everyone ran out and dashed away to hide.

Lincoln still moves slowly, but tries to keep up with them. At one point, he was unable to find them.

Unbeknownst to him, they happened to be hiding in their dumpster, where obviously, everyone but Lana was unsatisfied.

"Ew!" Lola screams. "Why did I let you talk me into hiding in here? This is positively putrid!"

"Eh, you get used to it," Lana said.

"Well we'll have to move quick," Lucy declares. "That zombie may not move fast, but he won't stop until he finds us."

"Lucy's right," said Lisa. "For all we know, he could pop up at any given….."

Then at the last second, Lincoln pops up from behind, scaring everyone out of the garbage can.

When they got up on their feet, they found Lincoln had landed on their baby sister, slobbering all over her head with his mouth.

"He's eating Lily's brain!" Lola shrieks.

When Lisa witnessed this, she was completely enraged with jealousy. "Lily's brain? LILY'S BRAIN?! You're telling me you'd rather feast on that puny infantile brain instead of my superior scientific IQ?! If you ask me, compared to hers, my brain is a Manhattan style all-you-can-eat buffet!"

Lincoln got up and headed towards his other sisters.

"I probably shouldn't have said that out loud."

Then the chase began again with the girls running into the garage.

"No use!" Lola cries. "The zombie has us cornered! We're going to be zombified just like Linky!"

"Okay," Lisa proclaims. "I'm seriously having a weird deja vu moment right about now."

"As am I," Lucy agreed.

"What else can we do?" Lana asked in despair. "I wish we had our old Lincoln back."

"Lamentably, we cannot," Lisa claimed. "There's no known method to rejuvenating the undead. Unless…."

"What? Unless what?"

"Unless we could capture zombie Lincoln, we can find a cure. But we'll need to trap him."

"Won't that hurt?"

"Not to a zombie," Lola scoffs.

Lincoln was confused, until he saw himself in one of the windows of Vanzilla. He saw that with the bandages wrapped around him and being completely covered in topical ointment, he looked just like a zombie. But then he realized what his sisters were about to do and started to flee.

"After him!" Lana shouted. But she noticed that he was still moving slower than a sloth. "Oh right. In that case, DOGPILE!"

The girls all tackle Lincoln leaving him unable to get up. But luckily, his good arm was free. So he used it to reach under the van and find a box filled with tools labeled 'Lana's emergency stash'. When rummaging around, he managed to find a grappling hook. So he shot it up to the roof of the house to escape.

Lola glared at her twin. "You had a grapple hook in your secret tool stash?"

Lana sank her head in her shoulders. "I was saving it for emergencies."

Up on the roof, Lincoln thought he had escaped from his sisters.

But of course, he was wrong.

When he turned around, he found they were all on the roof ready to pounce.

I guess you can call it one of those 'oh, come on' moments.

"End of the line zombie!" Lola glares. "No where else to run!"

Lincoln backed up as his sisters were coming closer, but he soon found he was on the edge of the roof of the house. Realizing that the suspense was at its max, Lincoln knew there was only one thing left to do.

"STOP! STOP!"

And on que, everyone did stop. Even Lincoln stopped himself when he realized he was able to speak. "Hey! I can talk again!"

"The zombie can speak!" Lucy said in amazement.

Lisa however was skeptical. "And just what kind of trickery is this?"

"Guys!" Lincoln shouts. "I'm not a zombie."

"But we heard what the doctor said about…."

"Lisa, who are you gonna believe? Some looney drama talk or your own flesh and blood?"

"He's got me there. But how can we know for sure?"

"I have one." Lola was tossing the mallet in and out of her hand.

Lana rolls her eyes. "Oh Lola, violence is your answer to everything."

Lola put the mallet away. "Geez, you're no fun."

Lana then turned to her brother, as did everyone else. "Lincoln? Is it really you?"

"Lana, girls, look me in the eye. You know it's me. Think of all the great times we had together. I was always there for you when you needed me, and you've always been there for me. I took care of you all whenever mom, dad, Lori and the others weren't around. I'm still the same old brother you've always known and loved. Besides, all I got was a broken arm, and I'm pretty sure injuries like that aren't contagious."

"Then why were you chasing us?" Lola criticizes.

"Because I got lonely at the hospital. And because this stupid cast itches more than dad's wool sweater." Lincoln then kneeled down to his baby sister and smiled. "Lily, will you please scratch this itch for me?"

Lily just smiled and began to crawl over to her big brother. But just as she approached his arm…..

"NOW EVERYONE!"

The other girls leaped into the air and tackled Lincoln.

"Ha!" Lola taunted. "Nice try zombie!"

But then they looked beneath them to find they were in midair. And that's when they fell.

Lily however was still on the roof and watched as her siblings crashed towards the ground.

* * *

Moments later, the five young Loud kids were sitting on the couch badly injured. Lincoln now had his other arm in a cast, Lucy sprained both her ankles, both the twins each had a broken leg and a black eye, and finally, Lisa suffered from a concussion and her glasses were shattered. Lily however was completely unharmed and was trying to comfort them.

"Okay, maybe I was wrong about injuries being contagious," Lincoln admitted. "But I did try to tell you I wasn't a zombie."

And what's even more, Lori and the other four sisters were stuck taking care of the injured five.

"I hope you guys learned something today."

"I sure did," Lana states. "The next time Lincoln tries to tell us that he's not a monster, we'd better take his word for it."

* * *

 **Happy Halloween to all of you**

 **By the way, sorry if this story came out late, but writing a story takes time if you want to perfect it**


	88. Tongue Twisted

**Hello once again**

 **So for this one, I decided to do a story inspired by an episode of _ChalkZone_. To be fair, I have previously done a similar one based on the episode _Rudy's Story,_ and as I stated before, _ChalkZone_ isn't exactly the easiest cartoon show to compare with the _Loud House_ , but after giving it a little thought, I realized that the Louds could interpret other _ChalkZone_ adventures. Sure they may not be exactly the same, but it might as well be just as enjoyable. And hey, it's better to try than not, am I right?**

 **Anyway, for this story, I decided to do a Loud House version of the ChalkZone episode Mother Tongue**

 **So sit back and enjoy**

* * *

We start things off in the Loud house of course, where the twins Lola and Lana were in their room.

Lola was practicing a speech of hers while holding notecards. Lana listened carefully.

" _The key to being a true beauty queen is to…...to_ …..Ugh! I lost my train of thought again!"

Lana tried to be a peacemaker. "Lola, calm down."

" _How_ can I calm down? If I don't ace this speech, I'll be laughed off the face of the earth!"

"Just remember what we talked about. Be loud and proud and stand up to the crowd."

"Lana, you've been listening to Lucy's poems too much."

"Well at least she's got confidence. What are you so nervous about anyway? You've done pageants before."

"Yeah, but never one that involves public speaking. It's just…...you know."

Lana shook her head. "Actually no. I don't think I do."

"You know that feeling you get where you can do almost anything except for _one_ thing? And _that's_ what worries you the most? It's like _that_. Now do you get it?"

"I think so." But she didn't really mean it.

"My siblings are all great speakers. When _I_ speak, everyone is going to laugh."

"Now what kind of talk is that?" The twins then noticed their parents standing in the doorway.

"Your father's right sweetheart," her mother exclaimed. "You're a Loud."

"And we Louds never steer away from a competition. I just know you're gonna do great."

Lola sighs. "Thanks mommy. Thanks daddy."

"And then come the nationals," Rita reminded before leaving, and that made Lola shriek into her pillow.

"The nationals?" Lana questioned. "I didn't know you were going to the nationals."

"I _wasn't_ when it started. I just won a local speech contest in one of my previous pageants, and mommy and daddy got all excited, and now I'm afraid I'm going to disappoint them!" Then Lola fell to the floor dropping her notecards all over the place. "This is just so frustrating!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on! _You_ want to do this, don't you?"

Lola got up from the floor. "Of course I do. It's _not_ just for mom and dad."

"See? You have nothing to worry about."

"Nothing to worry about? I have to go on stage and give a speech in front of everybody and I can't give a speech! Everyone will laugh at me! Especially my sisters, Lincoln and you!"

"But you _can_ give a speech. You've done it before."

"Those weren't _professional_ speeches. Those were _short_ speeches. I have to give a _professional_ speech in front of a crowd in a whole different city."

"Whether it was short or long, I actually liked them. Besides, I wouldn't laugh at you." Of course, Lola wasn't buying it. "Okay look, I think all this stress is making you a mess. What do you say we step out for a little fresh air?"

"But…"

"Come on, I insist."

Lola gave in. "Oh okay. But not for too long. Mom's taking me to Great Lakes City in less than an hour."

So the twins headed downstairs to find something to do.

* * *

Lana thought maybe a little television would help Lola to relax. But even she had trouble just flipping through the channels.

"Ugh!" Lola griped. "Can't you find _anything_ on television?"

"Well I kinda wanted to watch that show about that little boy with his friends, a duck and a pink elephant. Or perhaps that show about two bears, two otters, a lemur and a mouse living together in a big blue house."

"Do they even make new episodes of those shows?"

"I don't know. But they sure are fun to watch."

"Which is more than you can say for these lame soap operas."

Just then, a certain four-year-old toddler came into the scene. "Greetings fellow siblings."

"What do you want, Lisa?" Lola asked unenthusiastically.

"I was wondering if either of you had a moment. I would like to demonstrate my latest invention."

Lana kept flipping through the channels. "Is it anything like you hypno helmet or your time machine? Because I don't think I'm interested."

"Negatory. I assure you that this is something rather, as Luan would say, comical. In fact, you might even say it's guaranteed to make you laugh until lactose liquid shoots profusely through your nostrils. Or in your case, until milk comes out of your nose."

"Yeah, I still don't think I'm…." Then Lana pauses for a moment. "Did you say something about milk coming out of your nose?"

"Affirmative."

Surely, that was enough to get at least _one_ of the twins excited (and I think you know _exactly_ which one). "In that case, I'm in! Come on Lola! It'll be fun!"

"And have milk come out my nose? Thanks, but no thanks."

"Aw, come on sis. Live a little. Besides, having a laugh might ease your mind."

Lola groaned. "Oh all right. I'll see your little gizmo, but that doesn't mean I _have_ to _enjoy_ it."

"Fair enough. Come along." Lisa led the duo to the dining room where they found their brother Lincoln sitting and something on the table covered by a sheet.

"Where is everybody?" Lana asked.

"Lori and Leni are out on a shopping spree, Luna and Luan are rehearsing for their next gigs, Lynn's out practicing with her teammates, Lucy's in the basement and Lily is taking a nap."

"And I just came down here because I got bored," Lincoln replies. "Alright Lisa, what do you want to show us?"

Lisa took off the sheet, revealing what appeared to be a blaster ray with a jack-in-the-box handle. "Presenting my patent pending Word Scrambler 3000. This marvel can conglomerate any given speech combinations emitted from your vocal cords and reiterate them as absolute absurdity."

"English please?" Lana requests.

Lisa groaned. "It scrambles your words and makes you talk gibberish."

"Now _I_ have a question," Lola says. "What's your excuse for this?"

"Blatant attitude aside, I constructed this as a request. Luan was looking for suggestions for her comedy act. Also I was running out of experiment ideas."

"And just _how_ do you know it works?"

"Well since you asked." Lisa winded up the machine and aimed it towards Lola.

At first, Lola didn't feel anything. But when she tried to speak…...

"Isa, bow cold shoe?" ( **Lisa, how could you?** )

Everyone then laughed at what Lola says. (And yes, the translations will be in **bold** letters)

"And there you have it." Lisa decided to demonstrate some more by zapping both Lincoln and Lana.

"Oh, cat's feet manure." ( **Oh, that's real mature** )

Lola covered her mouth in shock while both Lana and Lincoln began laughing.

"Miss Spring is late ( **this thing is great** )," Lincoln chuckles.

Lana laughed along. "Buffalo, night Stinkoln?" ( **I know, right Lincoln?** )

However, Lola was still in shock. ' ** _This could really mess me up for the pageant contest_** ,' she said in her thoughts. But once she said it out loud, it came out as "this could ideally dress me up for the cement lawn rest!"

That made her siblings laugh even more. At that moment, Lola got so embarrassed, she snuck out of the dining room without saying a word. But the rest of the kids were too busy laughing to notice.

"I can see that both of you are finding this to be quite humorous," Lisa smiles. "Now, should you choose to _reverse_ the effect, all you must do is crank the handle _backwards_ and your speech pattern will be back to normal."

But then Lana stopped laughing as soon as she heard the word ' _speech_ ', which made her think ' _Oh no!'_

Then she leapt out of her chair and saw Lola right at the bottom of the stairs with her hands covering her mouth.

"Granola! Thumbtack!" ( **Lola! Come back!** )

Then Lola ran up the stairs to her room while Lana followed.

"Thumbtack! Thumbtack!" ( **Come back! Come back!** ).

"Weave me a stone, banana!" ( **Leave me alone, Lana** ).

Then Lola slammed the bedroom door right into Lana's face, and the tomboyish twin lamentably headed down stairs.

While the words coming out of Lana's mouth were all mixed up, her thoughts seemed to be in order. ' _Oh man, what have I done? I just wanted to give Lola more courage. Now she can't even talk right. It's all my fault. I've got to fix this_.' Then as luck would have it, she got an idea.

"Hat split!" ( **That's it!** )

Lana then covered her mouth. ' _And maybe I can get Lisa to fix my words while I'm at it._ '

So she went back to the dining room.

* * *

Meanwhile, both parents came up to the twins room to check on their little princess (and I _literally_ mean princess).

Once they opened the door, they found Lola sitting on her bed all casual like.

"Hi sweetie," her mother greeted. "You doing okay?"

Lola just shrugged.

"Is Lana playing outside?"

"Messy lid, ( **yes, she is** )," she said before covering her mouth.

However, her parents didn't notice anything wrong with her speech. "You got that right," her father said. "Lana really should do something about that hat hair of hers."

"Well just make sure you're ready. We're leaving in a few minutes." And her mother shut the door.

Then Lola went into panic. Just to make sure, she went into her closet and began taking stuff out of it.

The first was a spare pillow. "Armadillo." ( **Pillow** )

The second was her pocket mirror. "Glockenspiel!" ( **Pocket mirror** )

And finally, there was a pair of Lana's shoes. "Mess blues?" ( **Tennis shoes** )

She then realized that whatever she said out loud came out nonsensical. Not knowing what to do, she slammed her head on her bed and groaned, and the only thing she could think in her mind was ' _I'll get Lana for this!'_

* * *

Back in the dining room, there was still laughter going on.

At least until Lana rushed in. "Isa! Click! I feed more kelp!" ( **Lisa! Quick! I need your help!** )

"Lana, what are you trying to…?" Lisa then slapped her forehead when she realized. "Oh of course! How could I forget?"

Lisa threw her invention into reverse and Lana began talking normally. "Lisa! Quick! I need your help!" She then paused for a moment. "Hey! I can talk normally again!"

"You're welcome by the way," Lisa said while rolling her eyes.

"Listen, this is important! Lola left before you could reverse the effect on her! She's still talking gibberish!"

"I see. Not a problem. Just bring her back down here and I'll unshuffle her vocabulary."

"I can't! She's on her way to make an important speech! You'll have to come with me!"

"I'm afraid I can't do that older sister. I've got too much on my hands at the moment. And not that I need another reason, but I'm entering the Word Scrambler 3000 in the junior inventors convention tomorrow and it needs to be kept in preservation. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to be going." Lisa hopped off the table and headed up to her room.

At that point, Lana went into panic. But just for a minute once she could figure out a plan B.

She then turned to her older brother. "Lincoln! I need your help! Lola's on her way to make a speech. I need your to bring Lisa's invention over to Great Lakes City! Can you do that?"

Lincoln saluted. "Yogurt fish ( **you got it, Sis** )." But his words were still mixed up.

Lana wasn't amused at that. "I'm gonna assume that means you can."

After that, she left the dining room.

"Okay Lana, don't panic," she said to herself. "It's all taken care of. Once Lincoln brings Lisa's gizmo to Great Lakes, I can fix Lola before she makes her speech. Now all I have to do is get there and stall for time. To Vanzilla!"

Lana was about to rush out the door. But then stopped once she realized something.

"Dang it! I forgot! Mom took the van. I guess I'll just have to take Lola's princess car."

And so she did.

"Hang on, little sis. Your big twin is going to make everything right."

* * *

Not too long ago, Lola and her parents had already arrived at the pageant hall in Great Lakes.

But she was still pretty anxious. ' _Ok Lola, don't panic,_ ' she said in her mind. _'I can do this. I can talk normally. I just need to focus. Don't worry about the crowd and you'll be fine.'_

That's when her mother approached her. "Hey Lola. It's nearly your turn. You're not nervous, are you."

Lola tried saying something, but it still came out all garbled. "Cheesecake!" ( **Piece of cake** )

Again, her parents paid no mind.

"That's the spirit honey," said her father excitedly. "This will be a cinch. Now go out there and nail it."

Lola chuckles nervously.

* * *

Outside the building, Lana was waiting impatiently for her brother.

"Come on, Lincoln! Where are you?" She then slumped against a wall. "Oh man! If Lola goofs it up on stage, she's doomed! That means _I'm_ doomed! _We're all_ doomed!"

"No we're not."

Lana turns to her side and saw her brother at the front door with the invention in his possession. "Lincoln! You made it! How'd you get here so fast?"

"Oh, that's easy. See, when Bobby used to live in Royal Woods, he once got a job as a taxi driver. He said he knew a guy who could get me here in no time flat."

"Clever. And how'd you get Lisa's invention. Did you have to hack into her system, reverse the polarity on her whatchamacallit?"

"No. She just left her closet door open."

Lana was both stunned and dumbfounded. "Really? Wow. Well if it's _that_ easy. And it's great to hear you talk normally again." She then took Lincoln by the hand and ran. "But we'll have to chat later. We gotta go!"

The two kids ran down the hall when something (or rather _someone_ ) blocked their path.

It was one of the bouncer guards. "Where do you think _you're_ going?"

"Oh, hey there big guy," Lincoln says nervously. "Listen, we were just going backstage."

"Oh no you ain't. Backstage is for pageant contestants only. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave before I _kick_ you out."

Lana quickly intervenes. "But you don't understand! Our sister's back there! It's really important! I _need_ to talk to her!"

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that." And the bouncer picked up both of them and kicked them out the door. "No tickets, no entry, and no toys backstage!"

Then he shut the door and took the Word Scrambler along with him.

"Oh man, we're toast," Lana lamented. "Lola's gonna goof up her speech and it's all my fault."

"Uh Lana? I believe we have _another_ problem," Lincoln points out. "If Lisa finds out we lost her invention, we'll _both_ be _burnt_ toast."

"Oh yeah. Right. But we should probably focus on _Lola's_ situation first."

"Good point. But how are we supposed to get the Scrambler back?"

Lana wasn't about to give up so easily. "Lincoln, if there's one thing I've learned from you, it's to _never_ give up. We're going to get that scrambler back, and I know just how to do it."

* * *

Meanwhile, backstage, Lola was still panicking. She was trying to practice her speech, but everything she tried to say came out completely wrong.

"A flea to happy blue fruity…UGH!" ( **The key to having true beauty…..UGH!)**

It was then when she couldn't take it anymore. She then sank to the floor and burst into tears.

Her mother noticed this and tried to make her feel better. "Lola?"

"Slow train, mom!" ( **Go away, mom!** )

"Lola, there's no need to use slang. It's just a simple contest. You don't need to get worked up about this."

"Armchair?" ( **Are you sure?** )

"Lola, I think I know why you're so nervous. You're putting too much stress on yourself and it's not good for you. And I think _we've_ made you feel scared too. We were so excited to know this was happening that we ended up pressuring you, and that made you pressure yourself. But the truth is it doesn't matter if you kids are talented or not. The only thing that matters to us is that you're happy, and that makes us happy too. You kids are special just the way you are, and you don't need to win a competition to prove that. We'll always be proud of you no matter what."

Her mother gave her daughter a hug, which cheered Lola up just a little bit.

"Tell you what. You sit here and decide what you want to do. And if you decide you want to go home, that's perfectly fine. Sound good?"

Lola said nothing, but politely gave her mother a nod in response.

"Good."

As Rita left, Lola was all alone with her thoughts.

* * *

Back in the hallway, Lana and Lincoln were working on a plan to get the Word Scrambler back.

"Lana, I really don't see how _this_ is supposed to help us get the device back."

"Just follow my lead, big bro. I know what I'm doing."

Then once again, they were approached by the bouncer. "Going somewhere?"

Then Lincoln spotted the gadget in his possession. "Hey! That's our sister's Word Scrambler ray! Give it back!"

"Come and get it, snowball."

"Uh, Lana? Whatever trick you have up your sleeve, _now_ would be a good time to use it."

Lana reaches into her overall pocket and pulled out a long, white feather.

But the bouncer thought it was absolutely ridiculous. "Oh, a little teeny-weeny feather? What do you expect to do with that?"

"You'll see."

Lana walked closer and leaps into the air. Once she was close enough to the bouncer, she began using her 'secret weapon', by waving it at the bouncer, tickling him.

"Coochie-coochie coo!"

Lana then pops up everywhere and began tickling him in various spots with the feather. At first the bouncer tried to ignore it, but Lana's trick was making it unable to resist.

Even Lincoln was impressed himself. "Wow! Lana has been learning from me."

Fortunately, the bouncer was laughing so hard that he ended up letting go of the invention, causing it to fly into the air. Lincoln took note of this and proceeded to catch it. Which he succeeded.

"Lana! I got it!"

At that moment, Lana knew her job was done and hopped back down to the ground. "Boy did I pick a good day to bring my lucky feather," she said putting it back in her pocket.

But once the bouncer stopped laughing, he wasn't too amused by what the kids had gotten away with. "You two are gonna pay for that!"

Lana was worried at first, but then shouted. "LINCOLN! Toss me the gadget!"

"Alright! Go long, little sis!"

Lincoln throws the gadget into the air and then ran off while the bouncer was chasing him.

Meanwhile, Lana tried desperately to catch the Scrambler, but she also wasn't watching where she was going and accidentally bumped into her twin Lola, who in turn became very infuriated.

"BANANA! ( **LANA!** )"

"Oh! Lola! I'm really sorry! I'll explain later, but first, hold still!"

Lana points to gadget towards her twin and zapped her with it.

But Lola was still pretty peeved off.

"AARGH! Why I ought to knock you right into next week for that!" Lola was about to sock her twin, but then…. "Wait a minute. Did I just say that? Yes! I _did_ say that! I can finally talk again!"

"You can thank me for that," Lana spoke. "Even though it was kinda my fault in the first place. So, if you're gonna pound me, go ahead."

Lana turned her face away and closed her eyes preparing for the worst. But to her surprise, what she saw was her twin giving her a big hug.

"Huh? What's this for?"

" _That's_ for fixing your mistake. I might not have liked what I had to go through, but I _do_ appreciate you trying to make things right, and that at least counts for _something_."

"Wow. Gee. Thanks Lola."

"Don't mention it. Also, don't get used to it either. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a speech to give."

Then Lola went on stage, leaving her tomboyish twin alone with her thoughts.

Sure she and Lola might not have the best sibling relationship, but they're still sisters regardless. So even if Lola would give her even a _small_ 'thank you' in return, Lana would take what she could get.

"At least it's better than those times she pulled my hat over my eyes."

* * *

Moments later, Lola had just finished wrapping up her speech.

"And that my friends is what makes pageant queens like me so special."

And quite unexpectedly in fact, Lola was met with clapping and cheers. She was so happy, she couldn't believe it. She then got off the stage and returned to her family, where she was also met with great praise.

"See Lola?" Lana assures. "I _knew_ you could do it!"

"Yeah," her twin agrees. "And no one laughed when I spoke. I think I _like_ public speaking."

Just then, the girls were overshadowed (literally) by…...well someone's shadow. And of course, it was the bouncer, who was holding Lincoln by his shirt. "Found this one trying to make a run for it. You know this guy?"

Lana was about to say something, but Lola quickly intervenes. "As a matter of fact, I do. This boy happens to be my big brother. You can let him go now."

The bouncer was confused. "Are you sure?"

"I'm positive. Now please put him down."

And so he did and left.

After he was gone, Lincoln approached his little diva sister. "Glad that's over. Thanks for the save, Lola."

"Yeah, you're welcome. But don't expect more from me. I can't be nice all the time, I might get used to it."

"I figured you would say that."

"But considering that you both have saved my pageant reputation, I would just like to say th…..tha…...tha…"

"Thank you?" Lana guessed.

"Yeah, something like that."

"Well I'd love to stay and chat with you guys, but I gotta go," Lincoln says. "I've got….somewhere else to be."

Then he dashed right out the front door.

Just as Lincoln was about to leave, he found his 4-year old genius sister standing right in front of him.

"Oh hey Lisa," he greeted nervously. "Listen, I can explain."

Lisa just held up her hand. "No need to. I understand. Lana wanted to fix the mistake so Lola wouldn't, as you'd say, goof up on stage."

Lincoln was stunned. "Dang, you're good. Well anyway, here you go." Then he gave Lisa back her invention.

"While I _do_ disapprove of you taking my invention without asking, I _do_ admire you doing your duty as a caring big brother."

"So I take it you're not mad?"

Lisa smirks. "Oh I didn't say _that_. Let's not forget you _still_ took my invention without permission."

"Okay, easy now sis. No need to get hasty."

Lisa points her invention towards her brother and began chasing him.

"Oooooh! When I get my hands on you, you won't speak straight for a week!"


	89. Free Turkey

**And now you guys are in for quite a surprise.**

 **Now since we do have an upcoming holiday, I decided to do a story for such an occasion.**

 **Yep, that's right. I'm gonna do a thanksgiving story.**

 **Originally, I thought about doing a thanksgiving story where the Louds go to visit the Casagrandes and meet up with the Chang family. It seemed like a great idea at the time, but because I couldn't come up with an original story that would fit, and the fact that they just aired an episode where Lincoln goes to visit Ronnie Anne, I decided to put that idea to a halt until it was eventually canceled.**

 **But don't be too disappointed. I already have an idea for a new Loud House/Casagrandes crossover story coming up. And just so my original idea doesn't completely go to waste, I'll be adding in a few elements from that into these two stories.**

 **Now with this one however, it will solely take place in the Loud house and will be loosely based on the _Rugrats_ episode, ' _The Turkey Who Came to Dinner'._**

 **Sure it might not be the same as I originally intended, but I hope you like it anyway.**

 **Happy Thanksgiving everyone.**

* * *

We join the loyal canine of the Loud house, Charles, as he is happily napping in his bed.

"Ahhhh…..this is the life," he muttered satisfyingly. "A warm cozy bed, nothing to disturb you, not a care in the world. What more could you want?"

But then his nap was interrupted when he heard footsteps approaching him. When he opened his eyes, he happened to see he was interrupted by a certain six-year-old girl with blonde hair, overalls and a red hat.

"Hey Charles!" Lana greeted happily. "The sun's out! Come on, let's go outside. We could go roll around in a mud puddle."

Of course, the pooch wasn't too pleased with being disturbed from his nap. "Oh, it's Lana. Can't she see I'm trying to sleep here?"

"Or we could go to the lake, or the frog pond, or the duck pond, or the dog park! You gotta love the dog park!"

Charles looked to the audience. "I'm not up to seeing my colleagues just at the moment."

"Come on Charles. You can sleep later. But right now, let's play a game."

Then the dog got a sneaky idea. "Oh, she wants to play a game, does she? Okay. How about….Hide and seek?!"

With that, he immediately dashed away up the stairs. In fact, he ran so fast, he spun Lana around making her dizzy.

Once she stopped spinning, Lana immediately got her head in the game. "Oh I get it. Nice try boy, but no animal can hide from Lana Loud."

So she ran up the stairs to look for him.

Charles dashes into the twins room and hid right under Lana's bed.

Hops noticed this and was curious. "Charles? What are you doing?"

"Hiding from Lana."

Then Cliff and Geo came into the scene.

"What does she want now?" Cliff asked.

"She won't leave me alone," Charles answers. "And she's making too much fuss for me to sleep."

"I thought you liked playing with Lana," Geo wonders.

"I do. But there's a time when I want to play and a time when I want to nap. And right now, it's the latter."

"Well you might wanna hope she doesn't find you," Hops exclaimed. "Because she's coming this way."

Charles panics and hid further under the bed. "Quick! Don't tell her I'm here!"

The pets looked out the slightly opened door and saw Lana was right outside the room looking for her pooch.

"Aw, come on Charles. I just wanna play."

Seeing that her dog was nowhere to be seen, she decided to look into one of her sisters rooms.

As soon as Lana left, Charles came out from under the bed. "See what I mean? I like the girl, but sometimes she can be a real pest."

"I see what you're getting at," Cliff replies. "I remember when she tried getting you all gussied up to compete in a dog show."

"Reminds me of when SpongeBob did the same thing to his pet snail," Geo remembered.

"You wanna hide in the backyard until she decides to give up?"

The dog shrugged. "Yeah, sure. Why not?" So they all ran out the door. "Gotta run, Hops."

"See you guys," the frog waved.

* * *

Soon enough, the pets rushed out the back door and into the yard where they could finally relax.

"Boy do I love the great outdoors," Geo sighs. "Where else could you go without having to worry about anything?"

"You know you live inside a plastic ball, rodent," Cliff stated.

"Hey, at least it's a fun way to travel."

Then as Charles was resting on the porch, he noticed something in the tree that caught his eye. "Hey, what's up with Walt?"

"I don't know. Let's go see."

So they did. They approached the tree and saw Walt sitting on a branch, staring at the clouds. He then heard the sound of his friends and immediately flew down to the ground.

"Hey Walt."

"Oh hi guys," Walt said with a sigh.

"So…...how's it going?" Geo asked.

"Oh, okay. I guess."

Then Cliff brought up a pretty touchy subject. "Uhh….Walt? By any chance, does this have anything to do with your girlfriend?"

"Cliff!"

"What?"

"No, it's okay guys," Walt answers. "You don't need to hide it."

"So I guess you still miss her, don't you?" Charles wonders.

"Yeah. I do. I know it shouldn't bother me, but it does anyway. Oh my sweet Petunia. How I miss her so."

"Who's Petunia?" Geo questioned.

"That's what I decided to call her. Sometimes she calls me Wally."

"Well just remember what we've discussed," Charles reminded. "As long as she's happy, you should be happy too."

"I know, but I can't stop thinking about her."

Walt flew up to his birdhouse and came back out with a calendar.

"She said she won't be back until the middle of March. I've been keeping track of the days, but I can't wait anymore. And it's only November."

Just then, Geo noticed one day on the calendar was circled in red. "Uh guys? What's that say?"

The others took a look at the date in question.

Cliff tries to read it. "It says…..thanks…..giving….day."

Then they all went in shock.

"Thanksgiving Day! That's today!"

"Pull my tail!" Charles exclaimed. "Thanksgiving's today?!"

"How could you not know about this?" Geo asked.

"What did you expect? Lynn, Rita and the kids were all busy with their own things! They didn't know! How could we?"

"How could we forget one of our most favorite traditions?" Cliff exclaimed. "It's the only day a year where I get my share of Lynn's special Lynn-sagna!"

"Yeah, yeah, you can reminisce later," Walt suggests. "Right now, we need to have a word with our masters."

Meanwhile, Lynn Sr. was in the kitchen working over a stove. Then Cliff, Charles, Walt and Geo came bursting through the dog door.

Charles barked to get the father's attention, which had worked.

"Oh, hey guys," Lynn Sr. greeted. "I'll bet you guys are hungry. Sorry, I'm a little busy right now. I'll be with you in a minute."

After Charles' failed attempt, Cliff decided to give it a try. So he gave a tug on the old man's sweater.

"Guys, don't worry. I'll have your food ready in a bit, after I finish the kids'."

Just as Lynn was about to leave, Geo rolls over to his feet and tried to stop him.

"We can play later Geo. Right now I gotta call the kids down for breakfast."

But just as he was about to, as a last resort, Walt flew in front of his face and squawked.

"Fellas, what has gotten into you? Is there something important you're trying to tell me?"

Walt held up a calendar and gestures to the circled date.

"Oh, I see. It's thanksgiving day today."

At first he shrugged it off, but all of a sudden, he jumped with surprise.

"THANKSGIVING IS TODAY?! Already?! Why didn't you tell me?"

The pets all rolled their eyes.

"Oh there's so much to do! Honey! This is an emergency!"

And he ran out of the dining room quick as a flash, leaving the pets feeling quite satisfied.

"Well, our work here is done," Charles barked.

* * *

Upstairs, the kids were all having a staff meeting in Lori's room.

The oldest sister, of course, was leading. "Okay, can you hear me? Over in the back, can you hear me? Great? Okay, first on the agenda today…..oh yeah. Is everyone present and accounted for?"

"Well unless we're missing someone important, like myself," Lola gloated. "I'd say we're all here."

Lucy sighs. "What am I? Chopped liver?"

"No, that's what this is." Luan held up a jar of (you guessed it) chopped liver.

Lori rolls her eyes. "Alright, you think this is a big joke? May I remind you that our sibling meetings are very important. That means we're all required to be present. I don't want anybody feeling left out. So if anyone lags behind, we all follow."

"Glad we got that resolved."

"All right to get on to new business," Lori continues. "One minor note here, thanksgiving dinner is tonight. So…."

But even though she said that quietly, her siblings were in shock.

"What do you mean it's today?" Leni asked. "Thanksgiving isn't until next week!"

"Leni, that was a week ago," Lisa clarifies.

"What's going on in here?" Lola criticizes. "Are mommy and daddy losing their marbles?"

"Well obviously, we all had too much going on to remember," Lori shouts.

"Well I'm not worried," Lincoln explains. "And you shouldn't be worried."

"Of course Stincoln ain't worried," Lynn interrupts. "He's the one who's got a plan for everything. Or so he thinks."

"Hey, come on Lynn," Lana intervenes. "If Lincoln says it's alright, then dang it, that's good enough for me. Lincoln's never steered us wrong before."

"Thank you, Lana," Lincoln praises.

"Kiss up," Lola silently scoffs.

"Come on everyone. We go through a lot of trouble every holiday, if not, practically every other day, but eventually things work out in the end. I'm sure if we all put our heads together, we can pull it off."

"Lincoln's right," Lori said. "As long as we hurry, we can make this thanksgiving bigger than any other family ever could."

"Well, that's not exactly what I was saying."

"Yeah!" Lynn shouts. "I'll finally be able to watch the game in complete surround sound!"

"But…"

"And I'll put on the biggest holiday parade this house has ever seen!" Exclaimed Lola.

"I didnt say…."

"And dad will prepare the greatest turkey dinner in history!" Luna said.

"Guys, you're not even….."

Lori bangs her 'gavel'. "Okay then it's settled. Lynn and Lisa will get the television set up, Lola can set up her parade, Leni, you set up the decorations, and Luna, Luan, Lucy, Lincoln and I will go get the turkey."

"What about me?" Lana asked pointing to herself.

"You can…...make sure the pets don't get in the way. And keep an eye on Lily too."

Lana was…..slightly satisfied. "Oh. Okay. I guess I could do that."

"Everyone clear on the plan?"

Lincoln was about to say something, but unsurprisingly got interrupted.

"Good! Now let's move out!"

All the girls left the room and Lincoln was the last to leave.

He looks towards the viewers. "Ever had one of those moments?"

* * *

Meanwhile, the pets were all sitting on the couch watching television. While flipping through the channels, they stumbled across a news bulletin.

" _Recapping our top story. This is Katherine Mulligan for Royal Woods news. A shipment of thanksgiving turkeys was set to be delivered overseas on a cruise ship, only to find the turkeys were missing. No one knows how or what happened, but what we do know is that many wild turkeys are scattered all over Royal Woods. If anyone manages to find a wild turkey, please contact the authorities. This is Katherine Mulligan reporting live. And a happy thanksgiving to you all."_

The pets it seemed were not totally convinced.

"Well, there goes miss Whatever-her-name-is and her crazy looney tune stories," Charles groaned.

"I don't know," Cliff states. "I mean, think about it. If a turkey found its way here, we wouldn't have to go out and buy one for thanksgiving. Frankly, I think Lana would probably trap it in a net, and keep it as a pet."

The dog chuckles. "Yeah."

"Still, it would be nice if a turkey did come to our house," Geo wonders.

"Yeah," Walt agrees. "But what are the odds?"

Just then, they started to hear a loud rumbling.

"What's that?"

Charles was the one who was the most worried. "Uh oh! Guys? I think that's the sound of a…"

Right at the moment the pets headed to the stairs, they saw all the Loud kids charging down.

"STAMPEDE!"

The kids came down so fast that the pets ended up getting caught in the fight cloud. After the siblings went into the van and drove off, the pets picked themselves back up and dusted themselves off.

"Ugh!" Groaned Cliff. "I hate when they do that."

"What do you expect?" Walt retaliated. "They're called the Loud kids for a reason. So what else is new?"

That was when they heard a loud rustling in the rose bush. When they looked, they saw Charles come out with twigs and thorns in his fur.

"Charles? What were you doing in the bush?" Geo asked.

"Uhh…..nothing. Nothing." Charles then shook all the leaves and twigs off of him. "I'm sure the kids were just a little excited, that's all. Probably had too much candy and soda I suppose. It's just a mistake."

"Well, that mistake just bit you in the butt, Fido," Cliff jokes.

"Ha, Ha. Very funny Clifford."

Just then, they heard a rattling sound.

"What's that?" Walt asked.

"I think it came from the garage," Geo wonders. "Do you think there's a burglar?"

"Geo, will you relax already?" Charles consoled. "In case you haven't forgotten, I've been trained for such situations. Lana probably just brought in another stray animal. So let's all be polite and give whoever's in there a nice, big, Loud house welcome."

"Yeah, you're right." Cliff moved Charles closer to the garage. "You go first, Charles. After all, you are a man's best friend."

"Fine. Fine. I'm going."

So he did. Seeing the garage was slightly opened, Charles peeked inside and what he saw was actually surprising.

For this intruder was not a person, but a bird. And not just any bird. This bird had thick brown feathers and a waddle on its neck.

Yes indeed, for the intruder was a turkey. A wild turkey at that.

The turkey seemed confused. "What is this place? Great! This is just perfect. My first great escape and I end up in this dump. Looks like it could fall apart any minute and there's no one else here."

"Hello?"

Both animals exclaimed in fear and the turkey began cowering in fear.

Then Charles tried to apologize. "Hey, hey, woah, woah, woah! Did I frighten you? Didn't mean to. Sorry. Hello. My name is Charles, and this is the Loud house. That's all I wanted to say. Now I know how you must feel, but don't worry. I won't hurt you."

The turkey stopped cowering. "You won't?"

"No way. I love turkeys."

This made the bird scared again.

"Oh no. Not like that. I mean I don't eat live meat at all. I'm just a house pet. I mean sure, I have a little bacon every now and then, but I don't eat anything that I'm friends with."

"So, you're not gonna eat me?"

"Of course not. We just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood."

"We? Who's we?"

"Come with me." Charles led the turkey out of the garage and to the front yard. "I'd like to introduce you to my friends."

The turkey saw Cliff, Walt and Geo standing in front of the porch. "You know these guys?"

"Yes. They're house pets."

"Oh. Okay. Hello everyone."

Geo stammered. "It's…...it's…"

"A turkey," Cliff answered. "We can see that."

"You might want to call 'it' her. Because that turkey is a female."

The turkey felt glad and stroked the feathers on Walt's head. "Thank you for noticing. And might I say you look rather dashing yourself."

Walt went red in the face. "Well, I'm flattered. But I already have a girlfriend in Florida."

"Anyway," Charles intervenes. "These are my friends. This is Cliff the cat, Geo the hamster and the canary is Walt."

"And you are….?"

The turkey bowed and introduced herself. "Please darling, call me Amelia."

"Okay Amelia, what were you doing in our garage?"

"Well if you really want to know, I was trying to hide."

"Hide from what?" Geo asked.

"From people. We were all being shipped to be delivered for Thanksgiving dinner. But then opportunity knocked. As the crate was being loaded onto the ship, the chain started to give and we managed to escape. And we all found a good place to hide."

"Wait a minute," Cliff interrupts. "You're one of those turkeys we saw on the news. So that's why you ran away."

"That's right."

Then Walt was getting fearful. "Oh man! This is bad, guys! If the kids (well mainly Lola) find Amelia here, she'll be on the dinner table."

But their fellow canine was confident. "Well, they're not gonna find out. Because I have a plan."

* * *

Meanwhile, both Lisa and Lynn were setting up the satellite dishes. Well, Lisa did most of the technical stuff.

"Thanks for helping with the satellites, Lisa," Lynn praises. "With these babies, we'll be able to watch every football game in the country."

"So if I'm hearing this correctly," Lisa hypothesized. "You're saying that on this special occasion, you'd rather watch a football game than actually play one?"

"Look brainiac, just because I'm an athlete doesn't mean I don't enjoy sitting on the sidelines every now and then. Sure I like playing sports, but watching them is part of the fun."

Then Lynn loses her balance and ended up falling to the ground.

While she did land on her back, she gave a thumbs up. "I'm okay."

Lisa shook her head. "It's times like this when I wish I was an only child."

* * *

At the same time, the rest of the kids were headed to the supermarket.

"Well at least they're open," Lucy states.

Then they all ran inside and began to search.

"Poultry! Back wall! Come on girls!" Lori ordered.

However one stayed behind, clearing his throat.

"And Lincoln."

They all dashed to the back of the store to find poultry meat. But what they also found out was that there was only one turkey left. And what's more? Another shopper wanted that turkey for herself.

"Don't even think about it, bra," Luna threatens.

Then immediately, it was a race between the two. Luna was getting close, but then the shopper pushed her cart forward causing Luna to crash and land in it.

She then took the turkey for herself, laughed in victory and ran off with it.

"It was a good try, Luna," Lincoln said while helping his sister.

"I could have taken her, Bro."

"We know," Lucy states.

"Well, this is the price we pay for getting a turkey at the last minute," Luan kidded. "Get it?"

"Well now that Luna's literally experienced the agony of defeat, what are we gonna do about a turkey?" Lori wonders.

Lincoln stepped in. "Now guys, I'm sure if we all put our heads together…"

"Sorry bro," Luna interrupts. "But that voice-of-reason mumbo-jumbo not gonna cut it. From here on out, this is personal. And Luna Loud ain't leaving this store empty handed."

"Every Loud for themselves!"

Then the girls all ran in different directions, once again leaving Lincoln all alone.

"This figures," he grumbled.

* * *

Back at home while Lynn and Lisa were finishing setting up the satellites, the pets devised a plan to sneak Amelia into the backyard.

"Now's our chance," Charles whispered. "Go."

The pets ran into the yard stealthily to avoid getting caught. Alongside them was a box fr with something walking underneath it. At one point, Geo accidentally bumped into the box with his hamster ball. Which was then followed by a….

"OW!"

"Watch where you're going!" Walt scolded.

"Sorry," Geo quickly apologized.

"There, that should do it."

Both Lisa and Lynn dusted their hands off and headed inside. The pets pretended to act casual until they were out of sight and earshot.

"I can't believe it worked!" Cliff exclaimed.

"Was there ever any doubt?" Charles bragged.

Then they lifted the box revealing Amelia. Once the turkey was free, she was amazed.

"Wow! Look at this yard. It's so wide and spacious."

"Eh, what can we say?" Charles says. "When you live in a house with thirteen people, you'll need plenty of space."

Amelia was surprised. "Thirteen people? You guys live in a big family?"

"We do indeed. Two parents, ten sisters and one brother."

"And they all share one bathroom," Cliff adds.

"Crazy isn't it?" Walt says.

"I'll say," Amelia agrees. "I haven't had this much space to roam around in since I was a little chick!"

Amelia was so thrilled that she ran everywhere around the yard while the pets looked with satisfaction.

"That is one happy turkey," Cliff said.

"A happy free turkey," Walt adds.

But unfortunately, the celebration was short lived as Lola was practicing for her own Thanksgiving Day parade, using a little red wagon and some of her stuffed toys.

"Presenting Lola Loud and her fabulous….."

Immediately, she was interrupted by a turkey running right into her parade, making a huge mess.

"Hey! What's the big I…...dea?" Lola was shocked at the sight of a turkey in their own backyard. "What the heck? A real live turkey! This is perfect! Why spend some precious time and money on an ordinary turkey when we can have one for free? Just wait until I tell daddy!"

And she ran into the house.

Unsurprisingly, the pets were not happy about this.

Lola ran into the kitchen and was preparing a big pot.

"DADDY!"

"Sorry honey, can't talk now. Daddy's very busy."

"But daddy, there's a crazy turkey in our yard!"

But her father didn't buy it. "Sure thing, sweetie. And I suppose there's an alligator under your bed?"

"I'm serious! Come look!"

"Not right now, Lola. Maybe later."

But Lola was determined. So as a last resort, she decided to hold her breath until her father agrees.

"Lola, no! Please don't do that! You're gonna hurt yourself!"

But Lola kept holding it in, until finally, she went blue in the face and fainted to the floor.

"Okay, what is it sweetheart?"

Lola got up from the floor. "There's a turkey in the backyard! A real live turkey. Come on, I'll show you."

Then she took her father by the hand and pulled him outside. But when they got there, all they saw was the Loud pets standing there giving an 'I don't see any turkey' kind of look.

"I see. Listen sweetie, daddy's really busy right now, but if you happen to see the magic turkey again, just tell your mother."

Lola headed back in the house after growling in defeat.

Once they both left, the pets sighed with relief.

"Whew! That was close," Geo sighs.

"Yeah," Walt agrees. "Too close."

Then Amelia came out from behind the tree. "Oh I can't thank you guys enough. You really are the greatest friends I've ever had."

"Well you still haven't met our other friends," Charles assures. "Walt, if you please?"

"You got it, Charlie."

Walt took a deep breath and let out a really loud whistle.

* * *

Back in the house, Lana slumped into her room and onto her bed.

"This isn't fair!" She complained. "My siblings get to do all the fun stuff and I get stuck babysitting? Since when does Lily ever get herself into trouble?"

Just then, Lily (who was sitting in the doorway) happened to hear a whistling sound from outside. Curious to know what it was, she crawled downstairs and into the backyard.

But Lana didn't notice right away because she was too busy moping. "This bites!" She sighed. "Well Hops, at least I know you'll always be by my side."

Just then, Hops heard the exact same whistle from outside the window. He then told Lana something in his own language.

"What do you mean you have plans? You're my best friend."

Hops was very insistent.

"Very important? Oh, okay. I understand. Just make sure not to get into trouble."

Hops nodded and leaps out the window.

This left Lana feeling worse then before. "Great, just great. Not only is my job completely boring but now I'm all alone."

* * *

Out into the backyard, Hops and Fangs jumped out the windows of Lana and Lucy's room respectively, and Lily crawled out the doggie door.

"Hey guys," Hops greeted. "Got your call. What's up?"

"Who's the turkey?" Lily asked while pointing.

"Everyone, this is Amelia," Charles introduces. "Amelia, these are our friends. This is Lucy's pet bat, Fangs, Lana's pet frog, Hops, and the baby sister of the Loud house, Lily."

"Hi," Lily waves.

"Why couldn't they get a nocturnal friend?" Fangs yawns.

"What's she doing here?" Hops asked. "Not that it's a bad thing."

"We found her hiding in the garage," Charles answers. "She's one of the few that escaped."

Lily was especially amazed. "Wow! I've never seen a real live turkey before."

"No, but you were dressed up as one last year," Walt reminded.

"Oh yeah. I was a really cute turkey."

* * *

Suddenly, the rest of the kids got back from the supermarket.

"Great! Just great!" Lori groaned. "Looks like we'll have to go turkeyless this thanksgiving."

"Hey, at least we got something made from turkey," Lucy points out. "That's better than nothing."

"I still cant believe that customer took the last turkey and all we got were these stupid hot dogs," Luna complained.

"Well too be frank, this gives me an opportunity to make food my way!" Luan teases.

"Not if I get there first!"

And they both rushed into the kitchen.

Lori then took a look around the living room and noticed that while the decorations were up, they were completely mixed up. And by that, I mean they were different holidays from Easter to the Fourth of July to Halloween to Christmas.

"Leni! What are you doing?"

"Hey, you said you wanted me to put up decorations."

"I meant the thanksgiving decorations."

"Ooooohhhhh…..that makes perfect sense."

Lori slaps her forehead. "Just take these ones down and put up the right holiday decorations. I gotta go check on dinner."

"Ditto," Lucy agrees.

And they both went into the dining room.

Lincoln stayed behind and looked around. One of the first things he noticed was Lisa and Lynn were arguing on the couch.

"Can you not turn down that mindless dribble for one nanosecond?" Lisa complains. "I can't even hear myself think!"

"Hey!" Lynn barked back. "You don't want to hear it, go use your headphones!"

Then Lola came in with her own gripes. "Guys! There's a live turkey in the yard and I want to have it for dinner!"

But Lynn wasn't paying attention. "Lola, move your head. I'm missing the touchdown."

"Also, the chances of a wild turkey finding its way to a suburban neighborhood is positively preposterous," Lisa adds.

Lola growled and stormed off.

Things weren't any better in the kitchen either.

"Now remember girls," their father reminded. "Take your time and keep an eye on the microwave. I don't want it blowing up all over the kitchen again and making a mess."

"Don't worry dad," Luan assures. "Frankly speaking, I can keep a watchful eye on my franks. Get it?" Then she loaded her wieners into the microwave.

"Hold it, sis," Luna halted. "If you think I'm gonna go cold turkey, you're sorely mistaken."

So both Luna and Luan stuffed their franks into the microwave and started the timer. But they were still pretty mad at each other.

Lincoln didn't like the look of this. He had a feeling that at the rate they were going, their thanksgiving was headed down the sink and into the garbage disposal.

Lincoln headed back into the living room and took a seat on the stairs. "Leni? Can I talk to you?"

"Uh Huh."

"Do you ever get that feeling like no matter what you say, nobody listens to you?"

"Uh Huh."

"I mean I know the holidays are a time to be happy, but all this fighting is making a mess of things."

"Uh Huh."

"It's just…..why is it so hard for everyone to get along? All they want to do is eat turkey, watch football, and they don't care about anything else. The only thing I want is for all of us to be together and be thankful. You see what I'm getting at?"

Unfortunately, Leni was too distracted. "Sorry Linky. What were you saying?"

"Ugh! Nevermind."

* * *

Meanwhile, Lola was in her parents' room begging her mother to come to the backyard.

"I'm telling you mom! There is a live turkey in the backyard! If you'll just come with me, I'll show you."

Her mother gave in. "Alright. I'm coming."

Back out in the yard, the pets, Lily and their new friend Amelia were all having a nice chat.

"I gotta say," Amelia said to the youngest Loud sister. "For a human, you sure are adorable."

Lily giggles. "Thanks. I get that a lot."

Just then, they heard the sound of footsteps on tile.

"Do you guys hear something?" Geo asked.

"AAAHH!" Cliff exclaimed. "Someone's coming!"

"Alright! Don't panic!" Charles consoled. "We gotta act fast!"

Lola took her mother out into the backyard. "Look! See?"

However, what her mother saw was the pets posing for Lola's toy parade. While she did se a turkey, the turkey was standing perfectly still like a statue, and was dressed in Lincoln's polo shirt and Lana's overalls.

Obviously, Rita didn't realize that the turkey was real. "Aw, that's so cute sweetie. That's a very accurate turkey sculpture if I ever saw one."

"But—!"

"You know, you could probably pursue a career in the arts." Then the mother went inside.

"But, but, but, but, but….but…...but…"

Yep, Lola was once again defeated. So she went inside too.

Geo wiped his forehead. "Whew! That was an even closer one."

"You sure Lincoln and Lana won't mind that we borrowed their clothes?" Walt asked.

"Why not?" Charles reminisced. "We borrowed two of Lincoln's shirts for you and your date."

"Touché."

"This is ridiculous!" Geo exclaimed. "We can't keep hiding Amelia like this."

Amelia agreed. "And whose brilliant idea was it to have turkeys for dinner?"

"Yeah," Walt protests. "Birds are friends, not food."

"What difference does that make?" Cliff criticizes. "Lana eats meat, doesn't she?"

"Yes," Hops answered. "But not ones that she knows personally. I wonder if she'd consider going vegetarian."

"Guys, we've got bigger problems to deal with," Charles points out. "If Lola tells the kids about Amelia, they're gonna cook her up and eat her. We can't let that happen."

"Charles is right," Cliff exclaims. "We gotta get her out of here."

"You guys can take care of that, yourselves," Fangs yawned. "I am going back to bed."

Fangs then flew back into Lucy's room.

"Why's that guy so grumpy?" Amelia asked.

"Fangs is more active at night," Walt answers. "It's a bat thing."

"Guys! Focus!" Lily encourages. "We can't let them eat Amelia. She's our friend. We're supposed to say thank you to our friends on Thanksgiving, not eat them."

"And we obviously can't continue to hide her," Hops states. "Lana's got quite a nose for animals."

"Well why don't we teach Amelia to fly?" Geo suggests.

"I don't think turkeys are able to fly, Geo," Walt explains. "At least I've never seen one in the sky before."

"Well, we could at least try. You wouldn't want to let Amelia down, would you?"

"Well…"

Walt stared into Amelia's eyes and saw the innocence and pleas.

"If Amelia wants to be free, then so she shall be."

So first, Walt decided to train Amelia with some wing stretching exercises. Then it was time for some flight attempts.

First they tried having her run while flapping her wings, but she didn't even get lifted an inch off the ground.

Next, they tied her to a kite and Charles and Cliff ran with the string. It seemed to work. That is until the kite got stuck in a tree.

Then they tried using a big rubber band to slingshot her into the sky on a skateboard. While she did go fast, she ended up going so fast that she bumped right into the fence.

Finally, they decided to try to have her jump off the roof. Once again, she ran as fast as her legs could carry her. Once she reached the edge, she flapped her wings and actually flew. At least for a few seconds before plummeting back to the ground.

"To infinity and below," Cliff joked.

After all their attempts have failed, they were just about to give up.

Amelia sighs. "Thanks for trying everyone. But let's face facts. I'll never fly, and I'll never be free."

"I don't get it," Geo wonders. "She's a bird. Why can't she fly?"

"Geo, there's a lot of birds in the world that can't fly," Walt answers.

"Name one."

"Ostriches, penguins, chickens, emus….turkeys."

"And Big Bird," Cliff adds.

"Big Bird's just a TV character."

"So? He's still a bird that can't fly."

"Well how are we gonna get Amelia out of the yard if she can't fly," Geo asked.

"Hold it guys," Charles halted. "Maybe we're going at this the wrong way. We've been trying to get her to fly by going horizontally, when we really should be going vertically."

"What's your point?" Lily asked.

"Instead of slingshotting her across the yard, we'll launch her into the air."

Hops got excited. "In that case, I know just what to do."

So using all the spare plywood they found in the garage and used a big rock to build a teeter totter.

"You sure this is gonna work, Hops?" Lily asked.

"Trust me, Lily. If there's anything we frogs know how to do best, it's leaping into the air."

"So how exactly is this supposed to work?" Geo wonders.

"Simple, if Amelia gets on one end and all of us jump on the other, our combined strength should launch her at just the right trajectory, sending flying into the sky and voila! Free bird."

The pets were shocked after hearing that explanation.

"I've been listening to Lisa's lectures out of curiosity. Now let's hustle."

So with all their might, they all jumped onto the teeter totter at once, sending Amelia into the air. But not by much.

"Well that was a flop," Cliff exclaimed.

"Let's try it again," Hops encourages. "But push harder."

So they did. This time she went higher, but she only went as high as the second floor windows.

In fact, Lana could actually hear the sound of a live turkey outside her window.

"That's weird. I could have sworn I saw a flying turkey outside my window." Lana thought about it, but paid no mind. "Nah, I'm probably just imagining things."

Back outside, the pets were just about to give up.

"Face it Hops," Cliff said. "This isn't working."

"Yeah," Geo agrees. "I guess some birds can't fly even if they want to."

But Hops was determined. "No! We can't give up! Amelia deserves to be free! Just one more time and let's give it all we got!"

The pets groaned with exasperation.

* * *

Inside the house, Lana's depression slowly turns to anger.

"Pet watch my foot. 'Watch the pets' she said. 'Make sure they stay out of the way,' she said. What am I? A pet sitter? That's all I am, am I?"

Then the last word she said reminded her of something else she was supposed to do.

"I? Eye! I was supposed to keep an eye on Lily! Oh man, I gotta find her!"

So she jumped out of bed and headed down stairs.

At the same time, Lynn was trying to watch the game, but the television was on the fritz.

"Yo Lans!" Lynn shouts. "Glad you're here. The satellite really needs a fixer upper."

"No time now Lynn!" Lana panicked. "I gotta find Lily!"

"WHAT!?"

The other kids from the kitchen and dining room came rushing in. And the outburst got both Luna and Luan so distracted, that they didn't notice that the food in the microwave was overheating, until it finally exploded all over the place.

"You lost her?!" Lori scolded. "I gave you one simple job to do!"

"Hey!" Lana argues. "You try keeping an eye on the pets while watching your baby sister and see how easy it is!"

Just then, everyone heard a crash, which got the parents startled.

"What was that?" Rita exclaims.

"It came from the backyard!" Lincoln points.

And so they all ran out.

* * *

Out in the backyard, the pets' last attempt to help Amelia fly had failed, as it resulted in her crashing into the satellites.

"Aw this isn't working either," Geo groaned.

"Face it guys," sighed Charles. "Turkeys are flightless and flightless they shall always be."

Walt sunk to the ground. "I guess it was inevitable."

Just then, the pets turned and saw the Louds burst through the back door.

Once they looked towards the satellites, they knew what was causing all the ruckus.

"A turkey!"

"See? I told you," Lola bragged.

Then both Lana and Lincoln spotted something else that caught their attention . "Aha! Turkey feathers. So that's where my spare overalls went."

"And that's my polo too!" Lincoln states.

"So that's the turkey that ruined our football game," Lynn jr accused.

"It ruined my parade," Lola adds.

"And it ruined our dinner," Lucy finished.

"Well, dinner's not completely ruined," Lynn Sr. said with a sinister look. "We've still got turkey."

Amelia shudders in fear.

As did the pets.

"Oh man, what are we gonna do?" Geo panics. "They're gonna eat Amelia!"

"Oh no they're not!" Walt protests. "If they're gonna eat her, they'll have to go through me."

"Hold it, bird brain," Cliff halted. "You're not fighting this battle alone. They want Amelia, they're gonna have to get past the two of us."

"Make that three," Charles chimed in.

"Count me in," Hops croaked.

"And me," hissed Fangs.

"Oh, so now you're awake," Geo mutters.

So all the pets all leapt in front of Amelia like a barricade.

They all made their respective sounds, but the Louds couldn't understand it.

"What do you think they're saying?" Leni asked curiously.

"I don't know," Luna answers. "I cant speak animal."

"No. But I can." Lana stepped forward and Walt flew right up to her ear. Lana listened carefully. "Uh Huh….Yeah…..No way, really? You're kidding…...are you sure? Okay I'll tell them." She then turned towards her siblings.

"Well, what is it?" Her mother asked. "What did they say?"

"They're saying they don't want you to hurt this poor innocent turkey," Lana translates. "They're trying to protect it because it has every right to be here as much as we do."

"Why would they want to protect such a stupid turkey?" Lola questions.

"I surmise it's because they assume we want to eat it," Lisa states.

"Well, don't we?" Lori points out. "It ruined our thanksgiving."

As the Louds were all bickering, one family member finally had enough.

"QUIET!"

The Louds all stopped and realized that outburst came from the only male human in the family (aside from their father).

"Maybe these guys have a point," Lincoln responded. "Don't you see? This turkey didn't ruin our thanksgiving, we did. I mean look at us. Holidays are supposed to be about spending time with the ones you love, but all we've been doing is arguing about what to do, what to eat and what to watch. Thanksgiving isn't about food or football or even parades."

"Well you've never seen my parade!" Lola interrupted.

"If these guys have taught us anything, it's to remember that we're more than just friends. We're family. If our pets can make friends with a turkey, then I suggest we all get along with each other."

The Louds all looked at each other with guilt.

"I guess we have gotten carried away," Lucy lamented.

"We sure did," Lynn jr agrees.

"If these little dudes can get along with this turkey, we can get along with each other," Luna suggests.

So they all hugged each other and apologized.

Lincoln looks with satisfaction. "I'm glad that's finally resolved."

"Yeah," Lana said with a tear in her eye. Then she quickly turned to her parents excitedly. "So can I keep the turkey!?"

The parents thought it over for a bit.

"Well it is thanksgiving…." Rita thought. "Oh okay. But only for tonight."

Even though Lana wanted to keep the turkey as a pet, she was still glad she could stay for dinner. "Good enough for me!"

"Alright, enough of this mushy business!" Lynn jr interrupted. "Look, it's great we're all together, but what are we supposed to eat? Our buffet is ruined."

The pets then had another idea. Charles went into his dog house and took out a box of dog biscuits.

Unfortunately, the Louds didn't quite understand.

"Uhh….I'm hungry too boy, but eating dog food is out of the question," the father said with an uneasy look.

So the pets demonstrated by nudging it towards them. Lily then crawled over and took the box.

"Oh I see what they're getting at," Lincoln states. "You know, I think we still have some of dad's leftover meals."

"So we could take those out," Luna continues.

"And share them with each other," Lori finished. "That's literally brilliant."

Lana turns to the animals. "What do you say guys? Feel like sharing?"

The pets gave a nod in response.

* * *

That night, the Louds all decided to have a nice dinner outside under the stars.

"You know, I never noticed before," Leni said. "But food tastes a lot better when you're outside. Why is that?"

Lisa adjusted her glasses. "Well interestingly enough, the fresh air in the environment tends to enhance the senses."

Lucy smiles. "I never thought I'd actually be so thankful to be out here."

"You know Lucy, you should really try to express your feelings more often," Luan suggests.

"Great food dad," Lynn jr said.

"Best ever," Lori agrees.

"Good thing I made these during Animal Appreciation Week," the father states.

"What's Animal Appreciation Week?" Lola whispered to her twin.

"That's the time of year where no one or anyone should eat meat," Lana said. "It's to celebrate animals being on the planet for us."

"So that means this is all…..?"

"Vegetarian recipes? Yep. It's pretty good too."

"Well at least there's pumpkin pie."

"I'm just thankful we're all together," Lincoln said.

"You said it, bro," Luna agrees.

Rita stood up. "Well I for one am thankful that all you kids have gotten along so well and help each other out. Just as a family should."

Then they all raised their cups.

"Cheers! Happy thanksgiving!"

While the older kids were busy talking amongst themselves, Lily decided to have her own conversation with the pets.

"Quite a day today, don't you think?" She said.

"I'll say it was," Charles replies. "And to think this morning, I was just napping."

"It's nice to see mommy, daddy and all my sisters and Linky getting along."

"Now why can't we have more moments like this?" Cliff wonders.

"Go figure," Charles shrugs.

Even Geo felt satisfied. "You know guys? This is probably one of the best thanksgivings we've ever had. I guess you don't need the right food, football or even a parade to enjoy the holiday."

"Geo's right. As long as we give thanks to our friends, family and the memories we all share, that's all that matters."

"And the best part is that I finally get my share of this Lynn-sagna!" Cliff exclaims as he gobbled it up (like another cartoon cat you may know).

Lily giggles. "It's also one of the few thanksgivings I've ever had, but who's counting?"

"And I'm glad Amelia got to spend Thanksgiving with us," Hops said.

"And I'm thankful to be a free bird now," Amelia replies.

Then they all noticed Walt staring at the moon. They all approached him to see what he was up to.

"Hey Walt."

"Hey guys."

"You still thinking?" Geo wonders.

"About Petunia? A little. Sure I miss her, but at least she's where she needs to be."

"So you're not worried about never seeing her again?" Charles asked.

"Nah. As long as she's happy, so am I. And that's all that matters."

"I'm proud of you Tweety," Cliff snickers.

"Besides, until she comes back, I'll still have my old friends here to keep me company. Forever and ever."

With that, the pets all huddled together and stared up into the night sky.

* * *

 **That's our story for today**

 **And as you may have noticed, yes I decided to have this one focus on the pets for two reasons. One is because in a few chapters I previously made, I honestly had a lot of fun telling a story from the animals' perspective. And the second reason was because I wanted to do a continuation of one of the newest Loud House episodes, 'Love Birds'. Now I know it's true that in the aforementioned episode, the pets don't actually talk, but I kept thinking that if I did the story with no dialogue whatsoever, it wouldn't make any sense.**

 **Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this story, and as I mentioned before in the beginning, yes I have plans for a Casagrandes/Loud House crossover story in the works, but I don't want to spoil the surprise so that's all I can say.**

 **So stay tuned.**

 **And a happy thanksgiving to all of you**


	90. Two Friends in the City

**So here I am yet again with another story.**

 **However, this time, I'm going to do something a little different. Now this story is going to be a crossover between _The Loud House_ and it's latest spinoff series, _The Casagrandes_. And there's a very big reason I wanted to do this.**

 **You see, ever since the Casagrandes' story arc, I've been wanting to do a story that focuses on the interaction between Lincoln Loud and Sid Chang. I already had an idea in mind, but then once I heard the Casagrandes was going to have Lincoln featured in one of their new episodes, I decided to put this idea on hold. However, when the episode did air (entitled the _Horror-Scope_ ), while I did like that it focuses on Lincoln and Ronnie Anne's friendship, I was pretty disappointed that it didn't spend a lot of time showing Lincoln hanging out with Sid. Honestly, I was expecting a lot more. So I decided to come back to this idea and extend that scene a bit.**

 **Yep, that's right. For this chapter, I'll be featuring both Lincoln Loud and Sid Chang together in one story.**

 **And to spice things up, I got inspiration from the _We Bare Bears_ episode _Chloe and Ice Bear._**

 **Enjoy**

* * *

We start out at the Casagrande's apartment. More specifically, the apartment that was directly above where Ronnie Anne, Bobby and the Casagrandes lived.

In this room was Ronnie Anne's new city friend, Sid Chang.

On this particular morning, she was sleeping in her bed when she suddenly heard an alarm go off on her phone.

Though very tired, she picked up her phone and read the reminder. She was still pretty drowsy, but the sight of the message immediately woke her up.

"Oh man! I'm late!"

So she instantly got out of bed and started getting ready for the day.

After doing the usual things like brushing her teeth, combing her hair, changing into her day clothes and lacing up her boots, her mother and little sister Adelaide came in just as she was packing her lunch.

"Hey Siddo," her mother greeted. "What's the rush?"

"Sorry mom," Sid apologized. "Ronnie Anne and I are supposed to hang out today. Only I overslept a little."

"Aw, but you promised you would play with _me_ today!" Adelaide whined.

Sid rolls her eyes. "Oh stop exaggerating Adelaide. I said I _might_ be able to play. But that was _before_ I made plans with Ronnie Anne today."

Her younger sister pouted.

"Tell you what, when I get back, I'll play whatever you want tomorrow."

But Adelaide noticed Sid adjusting her headband which said otherwise. "You're playing with your hairband, and that means you're fibbing."

"No I'm not."

Adelaide was still skeptical. Nonetheless, she was willing to make a deal. "Well, I have to be sure you're not lying. Sign this napkin."

She handed her big sister a napkin and Sid wrote her signature.

Afterwards, Adelaide took the napkin, put it in her pocket and walked away. "Thank you."

However, Sid was still waiting for her friend. "Wonder what's taking Ronnie Anne so long. She's not usually this late when we go hang out."

Just then, the doorbell rang.

"That must be her."

Quick as a blink, Sid rushes to the door. However, when she opened it, she was instead greeted by someone else.

An eleven year old boy with snow white hair and an orange polo shirt. (And we all know who fits that description)

"Hey," Lincoln greeted. "You're Sid, right?"

"Yeah. Remember me? We met at the park with Ronnie Anne?"

"Oh yeah. That was when you ran away to chase a bird."

Sid chuckles nervously. "Yeah, my family sorta has a knack for animals."

"Sounds just like Lana," Lincoln whispered to himself.

"Anyway, what are _you_ doing here?"

"Well my mom had another meeting in Great Lakes and my dad got called to a culinary convention. And since they were both headed to the same place, I figured I might as well tag along so I could hang out with you and Ronnie Anne. Where is she anyway?"

"I don't know. She was supposed to show up at any minute." Just then, her phone rang and she was getting a video message from…..well, you can already guess who.

" _Hey Sid."_

Lincoln introduces himself too. "I'm here too, Ronnie Anne."

" _Hey Lincoln. Sorry I couldn't make it, but it looks like I'm gonna have to bail on our little hang out time. I'm at a skatepark tournament and I'm neck and neck with Nikki. I'll let you know how it turns out. In the meantime, you two have fun."_

And she hung up.

"Well that was unexpected," Sid declares. "So I guess it's just you and me."

"Yeah," Lincoln sighs. "I guess so."

Then the two headed out the front door onto the front stairs.

"So what do you feel like doing today?" Sid asked leaning against the wall.

Lincoln took out a piece of paper out of his pocket and unfolded it into a long list. "Let's see, pick up new city outfits for Lori and Leni, get Lynn a chili dog to go, find Lola a fancy scarf and a beret…"

"Uh…...what's that?"

"Oh, just a bunch of souvenirs my sisters asked me to get for them when I get back."

Sid noticed the list was so long, not only did it reach their feet, but even went down the stairs into the street. "Wow. That's quite a long list. But what do _you_ want to do today?"

"I just mentioned my list."

Sid chuckles. "No, I mean like _fun_ stuff. You do fun stuff, don't you?"

Lincoln shrugs. "I don't know. I don't exactly get enough time for myself. What with my sisters and all."

"Oh. Well, they're not here anyway. So tell you what, we're not gonna run errands for your sisters now. Today, we're going to have fun. Just you and me." Sid then took the list out of Lincoln's hands, crumpled it into a ball and tossed it over her shoulder.

"But—!"

"No buts. You came here to have fun, and that's what you're gonna do. And I'm gonna help."

* * *

So moments later, the two were riding on the GLART subway train.

Sid took out a list of her own. "Okay, so I made a list of places I wanted you to see. We'll do some sightseeing, grab a bite to eat, explore a little. You're gonna love it."

Lincoln did say anything. He instead just stared outside a window as the train was moving.

"Oh come on. Cheer up. Just try to have a little fun today."

"Okay, but I doubt I'm gonna enjoy it."

Finally they got off and arrived at a giant bridge over a lake.

"I cant believe you've never done this before," Sid exclaimed. "This is the perfect place to watch the sea lions. It's one of my favorite things to do, so I thought you'd like it."

Sid looks through a telescope and sees a group of sea lions resting on top of a wooden board floating in the water.

"Oh did you see that Lincoln?"

But when she turned around, she noticed Lincoln wasn't next to her, but was instead behind her helping a couple take a picture with their phone.

"I guess sea lions aren't really your thing, huh?"

So after that idea failed, Sid decided to try something else.

* * *

Next they arrived at the tallest building in the city (the same one from the episode _City Slickers_ ).

They both headed to the top floor.

"So I've heard you've done this before?" Sid asked curiously.

"Only once," Lincoln replies.

"Well I've been up here a few times, and it gives the best view of the whole city. Now feast your eyes on this incredible view!"

The two kids looked out the window, but unfortunately, the whole view was covered in fog, making it impossible to see anything.

Lincoln started to leave.

Sid chases after him. "Are you hungry?"

* * *

Later, Sid and Lincoln were at a bakery waiting in a long line.

"I'm getting bored," Lincoln sighs.

"Hush now. You know, my dad takes me here all the time on weekends. The pastries are so delicious! The line can be pretty long, but it's worth it."

"Maybe I was better off picking up souvenirs for my sisters."

"Lincoln, will you trust me? You'll love it!"

Time moved on and the line grew shorter and shorter, until finally they were let in.

"Oh man! Look at all these!" Sid began pointing at the selections. "I'll take that! And that! Some of those! Some of these! What about you?"

But once again, she found Lincoln outside all alone. This made her more disappointed that her friend wasn't having any fun.

"What was that you wanted, Miss?" The cashier asked.

"Oh, nothing actually. I changed my mind. Sorry."

And she walked out.

* * *

Later, the two began walking down the street.

"There's got to be something we can do," Sid wonders. "How about bird watching?"

"Nah, too feathery."

Then they happen to pass by a comic book store. "Well, what about comic books? You like those, don't you?"

"Eh, I've got a whole wide selection of comic books."

Then to a wood shop. "Or we could try some whittling?"

"Nah, I've got a pretty bad history with woodworking."

Sid kept thinking. Then something pops into her head. "Wait! I got it! You're gonna love it."

Sid ran off and Lincoln followed.

Turns out that Sid had rented a recumbent two seater bicycle.

Lincoln was a little reluctant. "I don't know Sid. This doesn't look like much fun."

"Come on Lincoln. It'll be a blast. Plus you get to relax and get some exercise at the same time."

"Well…..okay."

So Lincoln put on a helmet, laid back in his seat and the two were off.

The two kept on peddling until the started going up a steep elevation. Both were struggling, but persevered onward until they finally reached the top.

"Well that took a lot out of me," Sid panted. "But there's a nice view from up here."

However, Lincoln noticed that the bike was rolling down slowly, leading down a very steep hill.

"Uh….Sid?"

"Lincoln, I know what you're going to say, but….."

"Sid!"

"What?"

Lincoln points down the hill and Sid saw that they were headed right for it.

"Oh."

Suddenly, the bike came zooming straight down the hill, crashing into a few stores and food stands.

Then the road started becoming less and less steep, but they were still zooming like a rocket until they crashed right into a park bush which was right in front of a brick wall.

Now the bike was completely totaled.

Lincoln came out of the bush and brushed all the twigs out of his hair. "Well, at least the bushes were here to break our fall. You okay Sid?"

Sid was fine, but was a little dazed. "But I did come to a complete stop officer."

* * *

Back at the park, the two were sitting on the bench.

"So, did you have fun today?" Sid asked.

Lincoln nods.

"You did?"

Lincoln nods again.

"The most fun you've had in a long time?"

Lincoln nods….again.

By this time, Sid wasn't buying it. "You didn't enjoy any of it, did you?"

Lincoln couldn't lie anymore. So he just shook his head.

Sid just sighed and hung her head in defeat. "Figures."

As a last ditch effort to lighten the mood, Sid decided to make conversation.

"So…...how are your sisters doing?"

Lincoln just stared at his feet. "They're okay, I guess."

But of course, Sid could tell he wasn't paying attention. Sure she was no psychologist, but she knew Lincoln wasn't exactly in the best mood. "Okay dude, I can tell you're not into this."

"What? No! Everything's fine!"

"Come on Link, just tell me the truth."

Lincoln sighs. "Yeah, you're right."

"So is there another reason why you came here?"

"Actually, yes. To tell you the truth, I actually came to get away from my sisters. I mean I love them, but every now and then, I just need to get away from it all. Plus whenever my oldest sister Lori is in charge, she can be pretty bossy."

"I know how you feel. My little sister Adelaide almost never leaves me alone. And she tends to be a little miss Sassy Pants."

"I know _that_ feeling." Lincoln felt a little better, but it didn't last long. "I was hoping I would get to hang out with Ronnie Anne again like we used to, but even _that_ plan went to waste. No offense Sid. You're a pretty cool girl and all, and I'm trying really hard to have fun, but it just doesn't feel the same without Ronnie Anne around."

Sid wasn't sure what to do next.

* * *

Shortly after, Lincoln and Sid left the park and headed back to the apartment.

"Sorry this whole trip was a bust to you Lincoln." But she noticed she was being met with silence. "Lincoln?"

She looks back and saw that Lincoln was staring at a poster for the Great Lakes City Animal Sanctuary and Museum. But what was prominently displayed on the poster was in fact a rare albino gorilla. And not just an ordinary one. Not only did it have white fur and pink eyes, but the haircut on his head looked just like Lincoln's. Including his cowlick.

Sid approaches him and noticed that Lincoln seemed unable to look away. "Lincoln? Hello? Can you hear me?"

Lincoln seemed mesmerized. "Of course I can hear you."

Sid then grabbed his face and pulled it towards her own. "Lincoln, are you okay? You seemed hypnotized for a minute there."

Lincoln shook his head and snapped back to reality. "It looked just like me. He even had a turkey tail just like mine."

"What turkey tail?"

"Oh, that's what this thing is." Lincoln pointed to the cowlick on the left side of his head.

"Oh I see."

"Yeah. I wish I could see it." But then Lincoln slumps on a wall. "Except I can't afford a ticket to get in. Just when I thought this visit was going to get exciting."

Sid began to feel sympathetic towards her new friend. And that's when an idea hit her like a bowling ball hitting pins. "What would you say if _I_ could get you to see that gorilla after all?"

"I'd say you're losing your marbles. Why? How could you get us in?"

"Trust me, my mom takes care of tons of animals. I'm sure she can probably make a deal with them."

* * *

Moments later, the kids both arrived at the museum and checked into the front desk.

"What can I do for you?" The vendor asked.

"Hi," Sid greets. "We're here to see the rare albino gorilla. We got season passes."

"The museum is closing in twenty minutes. Are you sure you still want to go in?"

"Yes."

"And a map would be nice," Lincoln points out.

"Oh yeah, and a map too."

So they each grabbed one and headed in.

All throughout the tour, Sid kept sharing facts about some of the extinct/endangered animals.

From the prehistoric creatures…...

"Oh you're gonna love this place Lincoln. There's so many animals to see here. There's dinosaurs wooly mammoths, three-toed sloths…"

To felines…..

"Hard to believe that the tiger is on the verge to extinction, isn't it? Well it's a good thing we have people trying to protect them."

To reptiles…...

"That's a Komodo dragon. It has so many germs in its mouth, it could kill other animals just by biting them. That's why mom tells me to brush after every meal."

To birds.

"And that's a passenger pigeon. They're kinda like the pigeons we see in the city, except they're more migratory."

Lincoln however was growing impatient. "Sid, this is fascinating and all, but we've only got two minutes left."

"Sorry, couldn't help it. I just love animals."

"Reminds me of that little boy who's best friend is a fish," Lincoln muttered.

But they decided to move along. That is until they heard the P.A. system.

" _Attention guests. The museum sanctuary is now closed. We ask that you gather all your belongings and proceed to the exit. Please come again soon."_

Then everyone started to leave, including Lincoln.

"Lincoln! Wait! Where are you going?"

"To the exit. The curator said to leave."

Sid stopped him. "Oh no you're not. We didn't come all this way for nothing."

"But what else can we do? If they find us here, they'll kick us out."

Sid had an idea. "I think I know a way."

* * *

Just as a guard was coming down the hallway, he noticed that something was a little off. When he looked at one of the exhibits, he noticed that there were statues of cave people hunting saber tooth tigers. However, two of the caveman statues looked peculiar. One had white hair and an orange polo, and the other looked like a female with a pink headband. Despite the suspicious appearance, the guide paid no mind and walked off.

As soon as he left, the two statues (who were indeed Lincoln and Sid) got out of the exhibit and ran away.

"I cant believe that worked," Lincoln compliments.

"What can I say?" Sid shrugs. "I'm full of surprises."

Finally they reached the albino gorilla exhibit.

"Well, we're here."

But when they looked inside, they found nothing but twigs and leaves.

"But where's the gorilla?" Lincoln wonders.

"Probably just shy. We just got to get his attention." So she tried calling it. "Hey! Hello gorilla! Come on out! We just want to see you! Please?"

Lincoln decided to just give up. "Forget it Sid. He's not coming out. Maybe I should just go back home and hide under my bed sheets."

But Sid was still determined. "Lincoln, I'm not giving up. We came here to see that gorilla and we're going to see it."

Without even giving it a second thought, Sid began to climb over the fence and into the exhibit.

This got Lincoln worried. "Sid! What are you doing?"

"Don't worry Lincoln. I'll get that gorilla to come out."

"But Sid!"

Then Lincoln noticed that a security guard was inspecting the area.

"The things I do for friends."

Lincoln did the only thing he knew there was to do. He climbed over the fence and into the exhibit. But as he was scaling down the wall, he accidentally slipped and fell.

Sid then turned around and saw Lincoln on the ground.

"Hey, nice of you to _drop_ in, Lincoln," she chuckles. "Get it? Drop in? Because you….."

Sid then got interrupted by Lincoln taking her by the arm and hiding.

The security guard noticed the commotion and inspected the exhibit. At first, Lincoln and Sid were sure they were going to get caught, but luckily, they managed to stay out of the flashlight.

Once the guard walked away, the two kids stepped out of the dark.

"That was close," Lincoln said with relief.

But now, Sid had a worried look on her face. "Yeah, but I think we might have woken the gorilla."

Indeed. The gorilla was looking straight at them in the eyes. And although he was just about the size of Lincoln, he still didn't like being disturbed from his nap. So he slowly began approaching the two kids.

"Uh, Sid? That gorilla doesn't look too happy."

"I'm not surprised. I've heard looking a gorilla straight in the eye is considered an insult to them."

The gorilla was getting closer. And although Lincoln was scared, there was one thing he knew he could do. And one thing he knew how to do best: make peace.

So he began to step forward.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm gonna see if I can reason with him."

"Lincoln, are you crazy? He'll pummel you!"

"Trust me Sid. I know what I'm doing." So Lincoln stood his ground and began to speak. "Uh…..hi mister gorilla. My name's Lincoln. We're really sorry for disturbing you, but we don't want any trouble. So I'll make you a deal. You can let me and my friend Sid go in peace and I'll give you this."

Lincoln reaches into his lunch bag and pulled out a sandwich with tomatoes, lettuce and bananas in it. (It's a pretty weird combination, I know. But come on, it's a cartoon)

"I was saving this for later, but you probably haven't eaten in a while and I wouldn't want you to go hungry. So what do you say?"

The gorilla didn't say anything. He just took the sandwich and stared at the two kids. Both Sid and Lincoln shook in fear. The gorilla came closer and they both prepared for the worst. But to their surprise, the gorilla just stroked Lincoln's hair as a way of saying 'thank you'. Then the gorilla turned around and walked away.

"Uh….you're welcome?"

The gorilla looked back for a second and smiled.

Then as the gorilla headed back, Sid was left in amazement.

"Wow! That actually worked," she said. "Now let's get out of here!"

And so the kids both climbed up the wall and out of the exhibit.

"Whew! That was a close one."

"I'll say," Lincoln agrees. "I think we almost lost more than our sandwich."

"Don't worry about that. I hear gorillas are very gentle creatures. They just don't like being disturbed."

"Believe me, I know _that_ feeling."

Then Sid's smile turned into a frown. "Hey, Lincoln? Listen. I'm really sorry."

Lincoln was confused. "Sorry? For what?"

"For ruining everything. I just wanted you to have a fun time, but all I did was get us into trouble."

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Sid," Lincoln assures. "You didn't ruin anything. In fact, I actually had a _great_ time."

"You did?"

"Yeah. I mean, I actually got to see a rare albino gorilla for the first time. And seeing how you were trying to cheer me up, that's one of the coolest things anyone's ever done for me. You're a pretty cool girl, Sid."

Sid blushes as she stroked the back of her hair. "Oh. Gee…...well…..thank you."

Lincoln just gave her a handshake. "No Sid, thank _you_."

* * *

Outside the museum, the two were busy chatting and laughing.

"So your sister Lori forced you to go on a date with Ronnie Anne all because her brother broke up with your sister?!" Sid couldn't stop laughing. "That's insane!"

Lincoln laughed along. "I know, right? I mean when are some people going to learn that you can't make two people fall in love if they don't want to? But hey, at least we made up."

"Say, Lincoln? I gotta ask. Do you _really_ like Ronnie Anne?"

Lincoln got a little nervous after being asked that. "Well…...I mean, I like her as a _friend_. She's pretty cool to hang out with. I just don't know if I _like_ like her."

"Hey, don't sweat it. I know Ronnie Anne might _act_ like she doesn't _like_ like you the same way, but you both don't have to worry about that now. The only thing that should matter is that you two are happy. So if you decide you just want to stay friends, that's okay with me."

Lincoln couldn't help but smile. "Thanks Sid."

"And who knows? Whatever girl you end up with in the future, I just know you'll make her happy. You're a great person, Lincoln."

Lincoln chuckles with satisfaction.

After a moment of silence, Sid decided to tell him something else. "That was really cool what you did back there Lincoln. How'd you know that would work?"

"My sister Lana's an animal whisperer. She spends so much time with animals that she even learned how to talk to them."

"Wow. Clever trick. I guess you have to leave now, huh?"

"Yeah. I better be getting back to the hotel. Mom and dad are gonna be wondering where I am."

"Okay. Well maybe you and I can hang out again some other time?"

"Sure. And maybe I could introduce you to my sisters."

"Sure. That might be nice. What do you say? Pals?"

"Pals."

The two shook hands and departed.

As Sid was on her way home, Ronnie Anne came skateboarding by.

"Hey Sid."

"Hey Ronnie Anne. How'd the tournament go?"

"Eh, it was okay. It was getting late so we both decided to end it in a tie. So how was your day with Lincoln?"

"Oh you know. We managed to work things out. Lincoln's a pretty cool guy."

"Tell me something I don't know. Well I'm glad you had fun."

"Yeah. I think _he_ had a blast too."

* * *

That night when everyone was asleep, Sid was in her bed sending one last message to a certain friend.

Somewhere in a nearby hotel, Lincoln was also in his bed when he suddenly got a message from Sid. The message was enough to make him smile.

Just then, his parents came through the door.

"Lincoln? What are you doing up so late?" His mother asked.

"Oh, nothing mom," he answered. "I was just chatting with a new friend."

"Well I'm glad you had fun today," his father stated. "But you really should get some sleep. We don't want you turning into a night owl."

"Alright, alright. I'm going to sleep." Then he put his phone on his nightstand and drew up the covers. "Goodnight mom, goodnight dad."

"Goodnight Lincoln."

Just as they closed the door, Lincoln decided to say goodnight to one more person. "Goodnight Sid."

Although Sid couldn't actually hear him, she could tell Lincoln was thanking her for a fun-filled day. So she responded with a…..

"Goodnight Lincoln."

And the two dropped off to sleep.

* * *

 **The end**

 **Now I know what you're thinking. Considering that we have an upcoming holiday coming soon, you'd probably expect me to do a Christmas themed story or something. Well I haven't decided if I'm gonna do one of those.**

 **Keep in mind, the keyword to what I said is IF. Yes I'm unsure about whether or not I'm actually doing a Christmas story. As I've said before, I'm NOT taking any requests at the moment, plus the fact that I still have other story ideas I want to do and even less time to do them. So it'll actually depend on how much extra time I have during the holidays and whatever idea I decide to do.**

 **But even if I don't decide to do a Christmas themed story, don't be too disappointed.**

 **Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this story and stay tuned for more.**


	91. The Thieving Twins

**Inspired by the _Lilo and Stitch_ episode Bonnie and Clyde (experiment 349 350)**

 **Before we start, I have an announcement to make. First off, I wanna apologize for the long delay. See, I myself have been taking a break from fanfiction writing to enjoy the holidays. Speaking of which, you were probably expecting me to do a Christmas themed story. Unfortunately though, I was unable to come up with a story idea that would feature a Christmas theme. Plus there have been a few other writers who have done some even better than me.**

 **Also since I decided not to take anymore requests, it's been taking a little longer to come up with new stories. But on the bright side, at least it gives me more creative freedom.**

 **So with that said, here's my latest (and probably last story) of the year. I hope you enjoy**

 **Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year**

* * *

Now on this particular day in the Loud house, Lincoln and his sisters were all quietly enjoying themselves.

Lincoln himself was busy reading a detective novel.

"Hey guys," Lincoln greeted the viewers. "Been a while since we chatted. As you can see, yes our parents are away for the week and Lori is left in charge. But it's okay. Since that last incident, she's learned to soften up a bit. So as long as none of us get on her bad side, nothing can go wrong."

Meanwhile, Lucy was practicing her seances, Lisa was working on an important experiment, Luan was reading a joke book, Luna was just lounging on the chair, tuning her guitar, and Lily was playing with the pets.

Lynn was practicing her football (in the house). "Ah, nothing like practicing a good fly route."

"Frankly, I'd rather swat flies," said Leni, reading her magazine.

"Will you two please keep it down?" Lisa requests. "I'm right in the middle of perfecting the finishing touches on this device. One wrong move, and KABLAM! This unstable capsule will blow up the house."

"You know, that's what I love about you Lisa," Luan kidded. "Anything you create, it _always_ blows up in your face."

Even Lincoln gave a chuckle. "Like I said, _nothing_ can go wrong."

Just then, the twins came running down the stairs.

"Lana! You come back here with that!"

"Make me duchess!"

"Except for _this_ ," Lincoln pointed out.

"Oh when I get my hands on you!"

Lola tackles Lana and they both roll into the dining room where they were met with an angry big sister.

"What in the world?!"

Then as Lori came into the living room, the twins tried to hide their faces behind the sofa cushions,

"Lola! Lana! Yesterday I told you no running around the house! So what do you do? Run around the house! Last week, you were told to clean your room! And is it clean? No! What's going to be next with you two?"

"They _almost_ made me drop a highly unstable explosive device," Lisa adds.

Lori turns back to the twins. "What do you have to say for yourselves?"

"Well I ate breakfast like you asked. And I can prove it." Lana demonstrated by belching without even making a single excuse.

"You're supposed to say 'excuse me' when you burp!"

"Yeah Lana!" Lola teases. "At least have some manners!"

"Lola! That's enough!" Lori scolds. "You're _both_ responsible!"

"Hey! We're just expressing ourselves!" Lana argues. "If we want to leave a few of our toys scattered about, or run around the house like wild cheetahs or if I want to completely cover myself in peanut butter and roll around in my sheets, then we should be able to! And if you don't like it, you can talk to my butt because my hand ain't listening!"

At this point, Lori was completely enraged. "That does it! You two are grounded for the rest of the day! Now go to your room!"

"No! I don't want to!" Lola protests. "It smells like peanut butter in there!"

"If you don't go to your room right now, then no dinner for you!"

"No dinner? You monster!"

The twins both marched upstairs angrily.

"Sheesh! What is wrong with those two?"

"They get it from you, don't they?" Lincoln asked his sister Lynn.

"If by that, you mean the roughhousing, I agree," Lynn answers. "But I think Lana gets that weird peanut butter obsession from you."

"Yeah." Lincoln was going back to reading, but then stopped for a second. "Hey!"

* * *

Upstairs, the twins both stormed into their room quite furiously.

"OOOOOHHHHH! This isn't fair!" Lola complains. "Lori gets to do whatever she wants just because she's the oldest! And all she does is sneer like she's the boss of us or something!"

"She _is_ the boss of us," Lana stated.

"Well I'm sick of it! We never get to do whatever we want to do, whenever we want to do, the way we want to do it! There's only one thing left to do!"

Lola was about to demonstrate by climbing out the window.

Lana tried to stop her. "Lola! What are you doing?"

"I'm leaving, that's what."

"We can't leave! We're grounded!"

"Well I'd rather be free! If this is a free country, why can't we be free?"

"I don't care if it's a free country! Lori would roast us! And I don't care if we're allowed to do whatever we want to do whenever and however we want to do it. We can't leave. So…..so….."

I think you can all imagine what would happen next.

"Well what are you waiting for? Count me in."

And so she did.

Once Lola took Lana outside, the two began driving out into the city in Lola's car.

"Woohoo!" Lana shouts. "We're desperados on the open road!" But she also started to grow concerned. "You sure we won't get in trouble for this?"

Lola scoffs. "Lana, we've got nothing to worry about. This is freedom, and freedom is what we deserve. Besides, no one will even know we're gone."

* * *

As can be expected, nobody in the Loud house did know that the twins were gone, as they were all busy with their own things.

However, that was the least they had to worry about.

Suddenly a news bulletin came on the television.

" _Recapping our top story. We just have confirmed reports that two thieves have been terrorizing Royal Woods. Crimes including break-ins and theft. We are unsure about what these perpetrators look like, but the police force are working very hard to put a stop to their wrongdoings. We now return you to your regularly scheduled program."_

"Ha! They'll never catch a criminal that way," Lincoln scoffs. "If only detective Rick Tracker were on the case."

"That nutcase?" Lynn mocks. "Puh-leeze. He'd be lucky if he could find a clue faster than Steve can find Blue's paw prints."

"Oh, you guys don't know what you're missing. I bet it'd be great to be a detective."

"If you really want to be a sleuth, I propose you be a more sophisticated one," Lisa suggests. "Like Sherlock Holmes."

"Maybe. But it'd be a lot less fun." Then a thought came to his head. "I hope the twins are okay. They seemed pretty mad."

"Aw, I'm sure they're fine, little bro," Luna assures. "They're probably just blowing off a little steam."

"Yeah," Lynn agrees. "I mean, how much trouble could two six year olds get into?"

* * *

Meanwhile, Lola and Lana were still out driving until the car finally stopped.

"Dang it!" Lana said. "Out of gas! And I don't mean the kind I like."

"Well, nothing left to do but have a little snack break."

But when Lola opens the trunk, all she found was rancid food.

"Lana, there's nothing but expired soda and stale potato chips in here!"

Lana stroked one of her pigtails. "Oh yeah. I might have forgotten to take those out." She then opened up a bag and stuffed the chips into her mouth. "Still fresh."

Lola groaned in disgust. "I can not live like this. I need fresh food."

Just then, an explosion came from a nearby supermarket. And two short little people dashed out in a mini army Jeep with bundles of food in hand.

Lola spotted them doing this. "Wow! Those two managed to swipe a whole abundance of food? Well, at least they have good tastes. Come on Lans! After them!"

Lana was seen pushing the car along the road. "I will, as soon as you get back over here and help me."

Lola scoffs. "You expect me to waste my precious time pushing a car on the side of the road?"

"Hey, it was your idea to sneak out of the house, so the least you can do is help me push. Otherwise, if Lori finds out we've been missing, I know just the sister to blame it on."

Lola gasps. "You wouldn't!"

"Oh _would_ I?"

Finally Lola gave in and began pushing. "I can't believe this! You're just as mischievous as I am!"

"There's a lot about me you don't know."

And so, they both began pushing the car along the road for nearly two hours.

That was the time Lola needed a rest. "If you think pushing a car is fun, you are sorely mistaken."

"Quit complaining Lols. You could use some exercise."

" _I_ could use some exercise? Look at _you_! You're like a junior Lynn Jr."

Then they both noticed the old abandoned shack.

"This must be their secret hideout," Lana observes.

Lola was skeptical. "And just what makes you think that?"

"Maybe it's because this is the only abandoned place in Royal Woods with a miniature army vehicle sitting right next to it?" Lana pointed out quite teasingly.

This left her twin sister dumbfounded. "Oh. _That_ figures."

Once they went in, they found the entire place all dark and decrepit.

"Hello? Anyone here?" Lana called.

"Would anyone be willing to share their food?" Lola requests.

But they were both met with no response.

"Looks like no one's here," Lana said.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Lola agrees. "Frankly I don't blame them. This place looks like it's been abandoned for years."

"Looks like it _could_ be. After all, this big shack _does_ look pretty old."

"And it's starting to give me the creeps, too."

Lana smirked. "Hey, maybe this place is haunted."

Lola did not like that joke. "That's not funny Lana!"

Just then, they heard the sound of a creaking floorboard, which gave them the feeling that they were not alone.

The two looked up and saw, in the darkness, two pairs of eyes staring at them.

 _"Who dares to enter our domain?!_ " A gruff female voice called out.

Then a male voice was heard. " _Uhh sis? They just look like a couple of kids."_

 _"Don't you think I know that?"_ The female voice argues. _"I'm trying to sound threatening, you lummox!"_

" _Well you're doing a pretty bad job at it!"_

 _"Oh, will you just shut up?! They're going to get suspicious!"_

Unfortunately though, the twins were _already_ suspicious to begin with.

"They sure don't sound very scary to me," Lana said.

"Yeah," Lola agrees. "If I wanted be spooked by someone who was shrouded in darkness, I could have stayed in Lucy's room. Now who are you two?"

"Yeah! Show yourselves!"

 _"Drat and double drat!"_ The female voice said.

Once the figures stepped out of the shadows, the Loud girls noticed that the perpetrators were kids. And not only were they kids, but they were also twins around the same age as Lola and Lana. While they were also the same height and had similar faces and slick, brown hair, the only difference was that one was a female with a jean jacket and combat boots with her hair slicked to the left while the other was a male with a leather jacket and sneakers and his hair was slicked to the right.

"Well what do you know?" Lana said. "It's just a couple of kids."

" _Twin_ kids from the look of it," Lola adds.

"Yeah?" The girl criticizes. "So what do you want? A medal?"

"Ooooh!" Her brother teases. "Someone give the boy a prize."

The tomboyish twin was clearly annoyed and offended. "Hello! I have a name you know. It's Lana. Lana Loud. And again: hello, I'm clearly a _girl_."

"And they say looks are deceiving," muttered the girl. "You're gonna have to excuse my brother. He's not exactly the brightest bulb in the warehouse. Trust me, I know a girl when I see one, in spite of your choice in wardrobe."

"Yeah I know. People get confused by the overalls. Anyway, like I said, my name is Lana Loud, and this is my twin sister Lola."

The girl twin was quite surprised. "Lola? As in miss Lola Loud? The number one pageant queen in Royal Woods four years running?"

Lola felt very flattered. "As a matter of fact, I _am_. I see you've heard of me."

"Oh you bet I have. Well it was nice to have met you. See ya."

"But we just got here," Lana insists.

But the girl twin tries to push her out the door. "And it was so nice of you to pay us a visit. Well, off you go now."

Lana sighs. "You're right. Come on Lola, we better get home."

"Back to that dark, depressing dungeon they call a house?" Lola protests. "I think not."

"Come on Lols. We gotta go. I'll fill up the tank and tune up the car. Then we'll be on our way in no time."

Lana made her way over to Lola's car and opened the front hood. As Lana was examining, both the twins they recently met were taking note.

Lana cracks her knuckles and got to work. "Not a problem. Just gotta tune up the combustion cycle."

The young girl in the jacket was impressed. "Hmmm….extensive knowledge on auto mechanics. That could be useful."

Then she pulled her brother out of earshot. "Yo Bro! Over here!"

"What's the deal sis?"

"Okay here's the plan. These dolts are going to help us."

"How?"

"Simple. We'll use them as a diversion. While they go out having fun, we'll be getting the goods. And as soon as we're done, we'll dump them over at their house and then steal all their stuff!"

"Brilliant plan boss!"

"I know. But keep your voice down. We don't want them catching on."

"Sorry boss."

"Don't call me ' _boss_ '. I'm a _lady_."

"Yes ma'am."

Then the two kids made their way over to Lana to talk with her.

"So, I see you like mechanics, don't ya?" The girl asks.

"You could say that," Lana replies.

"You do that a lot?"

Lana shrugs. "I've been doing it for a few years now."

"Fascinating. Say, perhaps you could take a look at _our_ car. Lately it's been making this weird sound."

"Really? What kind…?" Lana then grew suspicious again. "Hey, wait a minute. What's the catch?"

"Catch? No catch. I was just wondering if you could take a look at it. I mean, if you're willing to, there's this one small…."

"Alright. I knew it was too good to be true. So what do you want?"

"A deal."

"A deal?"

"Here's what I'm thinking. If you take a look at our car, you guys can stay for a bit."

"I don't know. We should be getting back to our family."

"Oh come on now. We insist. Besides, we couldn't possibly let this good food go to waste."

This caught Lola's attention. "Food, you say?"

Lana was still skeptical, but what other choice did she have? "Oh alright. We'll stay. But only for a little bit."

"Cool. By the way, I don't think we've introduced ourselves. I'm Nina, and this is my brother Nick. As you can see, we're twins just like you."

"Riiiiiiight….."

"Now come on, let's show you around."

Nina grabs Lana by the arm and Nick did the same with Lola.

So when it came time to eat, both the Loud kids observed what both Nina and Nick were doing and tried to do the same thing.

For instance, first, they saw that after Nick finished a soda can, he crushed it against his forehead. Lana tried doing the same thing, but the can was still full. Then it was Lola's turn. But when she tried, she ended up hurting her head.

Next, they saw both Nina and Nick were each eating a banana by simply squeezing the peel, making it fly into their mouths. Lana attempted to do the same. But when the banana slipped out, instead of going into her mouth, it got lodged into Lola's ear.

Finally, they all drank an entire gallon of soda in one go and let out a loud belch. However, Lola's burp was by far the biggest.

"Woah!" Nick said impressed. "Nice one Lola."

"Why thank you," Lola replies. "You know, I did beat my siblings in a burping competition."

"Yeah, I'll admit, your burp was louder than mine," Lana slightly agreed. "But shouldn't you at least say 'excuse me'? I mean it's a little rude."

"Excuse me? Lana, I don't think you understand. We're free spirits now. And free spirits don't need excuses."

"That's the spirit!" Nick said. "You'll learn to love it."

"I'm telling you kids, this is the great life," Nina explains. "No rules, no responsibilities, and best of all, no worries."

"Yeah, no worries."

"I guess you're right," Lana sighs.

"Of course I'm right." Nina then got out of her seat and headed outside. "Well it's been fun, but we gotta run. Come on Nick."

Nick did the same. "Right behind you sis."

"Where are you two going?" Lana asked.

"Oh nowhere," Nina answers. "Just out for a little stroll. Nothing you'd be interested in."

Just as they were headed out, Lola immediately leaped out of her seat. "Wait! Take us with you."

"Oh I couldn't possibly do that," Nina said sarcastically. "I bet you're family is frantically looking for you right now."

"Aw, they won't miss us for a bit. We've only got nine other siblings anyway. Plus we could use a little fresh air. Right Lana?"

Lana looks unsure. "Well…"

Then Nina makes a decision. "You know what? Why not? I don't mind you tagging along. And if you're interested, I think we can show you how to really have some fun."

* * *

So the first place they went to was a grassy meadow.

"Hold it!" Lana said. "We can't do this!"

"And why not?" Nina asked.

"Uhh…...hello?" Lana points to a sign that says _'keep off: this means you'_.

"Yeah, so what?"

"So what? They obviously don't want us walking on it!"

"Look kid, if everyone listened to rules like this, nothing would get done in this world. Signs are really more like guidelines. It says _'keep off'_. Doesn't say _'keep off this grass'_. You think that if that were the case, they'd be more specific. So I say go for it."

Lana was shocked. "You mean you want me to trespass?!"

"I wouldn't call it _trespassing_. I'd prefer walking on territory that so happens to have a _'keep off'_ sign on it."

"That's called _trespassing_."

"Oh calm down. It's not like anyone's going to see you. Besides, people walk on grass all the time. Trust me. A little fun can't hurt anybody."

"But….." Lana tried to turn back, but Nina and Nick were already out of sight and earshot. "I don't know if we should be doing this Lola."

"Oh stop being such a goody goody girl and start having fun," Lola teases.

Lana was a little hesitant at first, but was she really going to let her twin have all the fun?

Well, that's a little hard to answer, but what she did was take one step at a time. And I mean literally. She began tiptoeing across the grass until she finally reached the middle of it. Once there, she just fell on her back and stared up at the sky.

Lola looks down at her twin. "So what do you think?"

Lana still felt uneasy. "Eh, it's okay."

"Come on Lans. You're not even trying. You love dirt and you roll around in a mud puddle all the time."

"Well, I _do_ like dirt. And this grass _is_ pretty soft. But what if someone sees us."

"Oh Lana, Lana, Lana. You may be my older sister, but that little glass of yours is still half empty. Now quit your worrying and have some fun for a change."

So Lana slowly began rolling back and forth in the grass. As she went on, she began to enjoy it a bit, even to the point where she started to laugh.

It wasn't long before Nina and Nick came back after taking care of….business.

"Well, looks like pigtails decided to have fun after all," Nina says.

"Eh, you know. It was okay." But then Lana's suspicion grew even more. "But where have _you_ two been?"

"Oh! That…...well we just had to gather some supplies. But you. The way you were rolling in that grass, almost looked like you were enjoying it."

Lola nudged her twin. "I'll say she did."

But Lana still feels like something wasn't right. "I don't know. What if we get caught?"

"Oh you'll be fine," Nina assures. "Remember, a little fun couldn't hurt anybody. And besides, it's over. You're free."

Lana looks surprised. "You're right! There's no one around to tell us what to do anymore! We're free!"

"You bet!"

"I feel great! You were right! A little fun can't hurt anybody!"

"Attagirl."

"Now what you say we go have some more fun?" Lola requests.

"Alrighty!" Lana laughs with excitement. "I'm with you all the way Lols!"

And of course, their 'fun' didn't stop there.

* * *

One of the first things they did was that Lola was attempting to TP a house.

And not just any house, no. This was the house of her longtime pageant rival Lindsey Sweetwater.

However, the way she was tossing the toilet paper was pretty weak.

"No, no, no!" Lana halted. "This is all wrong!"

Then to Lola's surprise, Lana took a couple of TP rolls from behind her back.

"You gotta put your back into it. Like this."

Lana winds up both her arms and then tossed both the rolls onto the roof and the trees.

"And that's how it's done," Lana said dusting off her hands.

Then their next stop was the elementary school cafeteria.

Lola was attempting to take all the snacks and desserts from the freezer, until….

"Lola! Wait!"

"What now?"

"We can't just take all these deserts willy nilly!" Then within a few seconds, Lana took some other snacks from the fridge. "We'll need some side dishes too."

As Lana took her own helpings, Lola looks towards the audience. "Well, we don't have to pay when we're in school, so they're practically giving them away."

All throughout that day, the twins began pulling off a bunch of hijinks. And it felt like nothing was stopping them.

"This is great!" Lola says. "We're finally free! And we got enough food to last until Easter!"

"But where are Nina and Nick?" Lana wonders.

Just then, the twins in question just drove up in their little army car. "You called?"

"And just where have you two been?" Lola questions.

"Oh, nowhere. Well…...maybe we've been taking a little stroll, but don't worry. We'll always be there for you."

Lana then noticed all the loot they had in the trunk. "You've got a stash," she said suspiciously.

"Yes, we do," Nick answers.

"So it would appear," Nina states. "But enough about us. Lola, Lana, you were marvelous. I'm telling ya, you two have got the gift."

"Really?" Asked Lola.

"Oh yeah. No doubt about it. You got what it takes."

Then the twins hopped into the car and drove off.

"Ah, what a day," Lola sighs. "I hope it never ends."

Nina smirks. "Who says it's over? We've still got one more place to rob…..er I mean visit."

* * *

And of all the places they had been today, their final stop was at their father's restaurant.

"Lynn's Table? What are we doing here?" Lana wonders.

"We're here to borrow a few little recipes," Nina explains. "They're hidden in a secret vault and they're extremely valuable. More valuable than the Krabby Patty secret formula."

"And you want us to go in and get it?" Lola asked.

"Apparently," answers Nick.

"Oh no!" Lana protests. "This is where I draw the line!"

"Oh?" Nina questioned. "And why is that?"

"Because the man who runs this place, Lynn Loud Sr, happens to be our _father_."

"Oh, he is, is he? Well that changes everything. If he's really your dad, I'm sure he'd be more than happy to share his recipes with you."

"So you're suggesting we _steal_ our dad's recipes?"

"Look Lana, you were the one who wanted to have fun. Sometimes if you want to have fun, you gotta bend the rules a little."

"But if he finds out it was us, he'll hit the ceiling."

"What are you so worried about? Your dad's out of town, isn't he? What he doesn't know won't hurt him. Besides, it's not like he'll miss a few recipes."

"Yeah Lans," Lola says. "What's the harm? Besides, he wouldn't even have this place if it wasn't for our help. This way, he'd be returning the favor."

"Well if that's the case, why don't we just ask him when he gets home?" Lana asked.

"And wait for a rejection? As if."

"Yeah, go ahead," Nina insists. "If you need us, we'll be out here."

So thinking quickly, Lola took out a hairpin and used it to pick the lock.

Then they opened the door and walked right in. But as they entered the kitchen, Lana still felt like something wasn't right.

"Lola, wait! We can't do this!"

"What do you mean? Of course we can!"

"No! I mean we _shouldn't_ do this! This is just wrong!"

"What!? How can you even say that? We're free to do whatever we want! Isn't that what you wanted?"

"I didn't want this. I just wanted to have fun, not turn to a life of crime. First it's just little things like stealing dad's secret recipes. But next we'll start breaking into other people's houses, stealing their stuff, kidnapping innocent kids, robbing banks and we'll both end up in prison for the rest of our lives just like….just like what Nina and Nick have been doing all along." Then Lana realized what was really going on. "They were just _using_ us to steal other people's belongings. Now _we're_ being forced to steal something from our own father."

Lola stuttered. "Yeah…..well…...so what? It's not like we have to _tell_ him what we've been up to. Besides, what he doesn't know won't hurt him, right?"

"Lola! I can't believe you! You're better than this!"

"You obviously don't know me, Lana."

"Well we still shouldn't do it Lola. It's not nice."

"Lori took away our freedom, we take away dad's secret recipe. It's only fair."

Despite what she had said, Lola didn't want to admit it, but her twin was right. Stealing their father's recipe was no better than what Nina and Nick were doing. But she also didn't want to get in trouble by the police if they found both of them in the restaurant. So she had no choice.

She reached into the safe and took the recipe that was in a little bottle. But not before triggering the alarm system. Immediately, the sirens were flashing, and the door they came in from was closing.

So quick as a blink, Lola made a mad dash to the door just as it was about to close. Lana did the same, but this time, the door was close to being shut. So at the last minute, she slid right across the floor and made it outside. Although the gate knocked her hat off, she managed to grab it in time.

Then the twins hopped into Nina and Nick's Jeep and drove off.

The police had arrived at the scene, but they were too little too late. By the time they got there, the perpetrators had left, and the damage was done.

"I'm afraid we've lost them," one officer said. "And it seems the recipes have been stolen."

"Dang it," said Officer Schoffner. "Well they couldn't have gotten far."

Another officer did show a snapshot from the security camera. "But we do have this."

Of course, the photograph was blurry and pixelated, but it provided them with enough details of who was at the scene of the crime. However, while Nina and Nick could be plainly seen, both Lola and Lana were blurred out of the picture.

"That's more than enough evidence, I need," said Schoffner. "Men, I want a full tactical search around the perimeter. Those little crooks are going down."

Meanwhile, the four twin kids were still on the open road.

"So what are we supposed to do now?" Lola wonders.

"I'll tell you what," Nina says. "We find a place to stash the loot and lay low for a while."

"So where's your crib?" Nick asked.

"What? Our house!? We can't go there!" Lana protests. "Our siblings will…."

"Your siblings won't know squat!" Nina interrupts. "Unless _you_ tell them! But not to worry. You won't blab about this to anyone, because we've got dirty laundry on you now!"

"Dirty laundry?" Lola questions.

"Well we wouldn't want your mommy and daddy thinking their kids have been out doing crimes with a couple of crooks, would we?"

Lana became exasperated. "Why are you guys doing this to us? I thought you were our friends!"

"That's the thing about life, Lans: you can't trust nobody. Now that we're free, it's our turn to call the shots, and you belong to us! Keep driving Nick."

"You got it boss!"

As the two drove off, both the twins were starting to feel overwhelmed by guilt.

"I hate to say this Lola," Lana sighs. "But I think we blew off more than our grounding."

"I know, I know!" Lola shouts worriedly. "What are we gonna do? And what are we gonna tell Lori?"

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the Loud house, the kids were still going about their business.

Only this time, Lori was out and Clyde had come over to join Lincoln in reading the detective comics.

"Wow!" Clyde admires. "Now that's some nifty detective work."

"I told you," Lincoln agreed. "Detective Rick Tracker always gets his man."

Lynn just shook her head. "I just can't understand why they love reading that garbage so much."

"I feel your pain," Lisa said.

Just then, another news report came on the television.

" _We once again interrupt your regularly scheduled program to bring you this news bulletin. We've just confirmed reports of the two kids terrorized Royal Woods. One appears to be a six year old female in a jean jacket, and her twin brother in a leather coat. They're reportedly seen robbing houses of Franklin Avenue. They may be young, but be advised that these two are shrewd, rude, crafty and dangerous. Those who spot them are required to contact the police immediately."_

"Oh, I feel so sorry for those people on Franklin Avenue," Leni said.

But then Clyde points out a very crucial detail. "Uhh Leni, isn't Franklin Avenue the same street where _we_ live?"

"Aw relax, Clydesdale," Lynn assures. "If anyone was going to break into our house, we'd know it."

* * *

However, what they _didn't_ know was that the two hooligans _were_ sneaking into their house.

While all that was going on downstairs, the two pairs of twins snuck into Lola and Lana's room through the window.

"Well, nice spread," Nina compliments. "A little shabby but surprisingly spacious."

"Okay, you two can hide in here," Lola said. "But you got to be quiet."

But Lana wasn't too wild about this idea. "Lola, I really don't feel good about this! One minute, we're just twins and now we're criminals! We have to confess!"

"Confess? We can't! They'll never forgive us for what we've done! If we tell them, they'll completely disown us!"

"Well we can't hide from them forever."

"Wanna bet?"

Suddenly, they heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

"AHHH! Someone's coming!"

"Quick! Nina! Nick! Hide in here!" Lana said pointing to a pile of dirty clothes on the floor.

So they did.

"We _really_ need to talk about your hiding places," Lola criticizes.

Lana shrugs. "Well their place practically smells like sweaty laundry anyway. So what's the difference?"

* * *

Outside the door, Lincoln was approaching the twins room with a laundry basket. Clyde decided to assist.

"Thanks for helping me gather up the laundry, Clyde," Lincoln praises.

"No problem Lincoln," Clyde said. "That's what friends are for. It's not detective work, but I'm glad I could help."

Then Lincoln got an idea. "Hey, why don't we both do a little detective role play?"

"You mean like detective Rick Tracker?"

"Yeah. It'll be just like a real interrogation."

"Come to think of it, that does sound like fun. Let's do it!"

Then Lincoln burst through the door, startling the twins. "Alright you little rascals! Let's talk about your dirty laundry!"

Both the twins got nervous and huddled in front of a pile of clothes.

They both shudder in fear. "Our dirty laundry?"

Lincoln then took a nearby desk lamp and shined the light in their faces. "Now I know what you're hiding, see. Filthy unimaginables. Good reminders of your dirty deeds."

"Relax, we just want to ask you a couple of questions," Clyde assures.

The twins were a little confused. "We?"

"It's a good cop, bad cop," Clyde whispered in clarification. "Just roll with it."

"Now why not make it easy on yourself, princess?" Lincoln says. "It's all gonna come out in the wash anyway."

"Well….."

"Quit stalling, half-pint!"

Clyde tried playing good cop again. "Hey, hey, calm down partner. They're just kids."

"You're a softy! These little runts have made a mess of things and now they've got to come clean! Or would you rather talk about it downtown?"

Lola stammered. "I…I…"

Just then, they heard the sound of Lori from downstairs. "Lola! You and Lana come down here! I need to talk to both of you!"

"We better go," Lana said dragging her twin out the door. "Come on Lola."

The two boys were suspicious at first, but they decided to ignore it.

"I think that went pretty well," Lincoln said.

"Totally," Clyde agrees. "But _I_ get to play bad cop next time."

"Come on, let's just get this over with."

So the boys began taking the dirty clothes and put them into the basket. Then at one point, they noticed that there were two other twins in the laundry pile. They didn't know at first, but once they turned around, they quickly got ambushed.

* * *

Back downstairs, the twins entered the dining room where Lori was waiting.

"Uh Lori?" Lana started. "Lola and I have something to tell you."

Lori just shrugged. "Aw forget about it. Who wants pizza and ice cream?"

The twins were surprised when they saw what was on the table. "Pizza? Ice cream?"

"Yeah. I figured I'd treat you to a snack. I mean, after all, you were only roughhousing. It's not like you're criminals or anything. And you even managed to stay inside like good little twins. Now what were you going to say?"

Lana opens her mouth, but Lola immediately covered it before she could say anything.

"She just wanted to say we can't wait to eat," Lola lies.

Then they both took a seat and were served. The only thing was that even if they were hungry, they couldn't eat because of their guilt weighing on top of them like trying to carry a hundred pound boulder up a mountain.

"What's the matter?" Lori asked.

Lana pushes her plate away. "I'm not hungry."

"Not hungry for pizza and ice cream? Why?"

At that point, Lola knew that she and Lana couldn't hide their guilt anymore. "Alright! Alright! We'll talk!"

Lana continues the story. "We _didn't_ stay in our room all day. We snuck out. And then we met these two kids who've been doing all the robbery!"

"Then we walked on the grass!"

"And we TPed Lindsay's house!"

"And we took the desserts from our school cafeteria!"

"And we broke into dad's restaurant and stole his secret recipe! It was us! We're the ones who did it! It was all our fault!"

"We plead guilty to all charges!"

Lori was at a loss of words. "I…...I can't believe you two! Why on earth would you do something like that?"

Lola sulked in her chair. "Nina and Nick let us do whatever we want."

"And we thought it was okay because we weren't hurting anyone," Lana adds.

Lori shook her head. "Girls, you _were_ hurting people. Now Mrs Sweetwater has to clean up her house because of what you did, and the teachers and staff are going to have to pay to replace whatever you took. And most of all, you both hurt yourselves and me. How am I supposed to trust you again after what you did? And if dad were here, you probably would have hurt him too. You've done some pretty despicable things Lola Loud, but this one is over the top. As for you Lana, I expected better."

The twins slouched in their chairs with shame. "We know."

Then a few muffled voices came out of the other room.

"Help! Help!"

"Now what?" Lori groaned.

Then she and the twins made their way into the living room, and what they found was nothing.

And I mean _literally_ nothing.

Everything including the television, the couch and the lamp were missing, and the rest of the girls, Lincoln and Clyde were all tied up and had their mouths shut with cloth.

Lori then took the cloths off of their mouths and began untying them. "What the heck happened here?"

"I'll tell you what happened!" Lynn said. "We've been robbed!"

"Robbed?!"

"Hoodwinked!" Lincoln includes.

"Purloined!" Luna adds.

"We've been smeckledorfed!" Leni said.

"That's not even a word," Lisa confirms. "And I agree with you!"

Lana slaps her forehead. "Oh man, this is all our fault! We never should've let those thieves into our house!"

Then all the others looked at the twins in shock. "You did what?!"

Lola covered her twin's mouth. "Uh…...Nothing?"

"Really?" Lisa said skeptically. "Because it sounded like your polar opposite yet identical twin sister just said that you both let those thieving brutes into our midst!"

"Ugh! Dang it Lana! Why'd you have to open your big trap!?"

Then they all heard the sound of a motor running and ran right out the door. There the twins saw the two troublemakers drive away in their Jeep with all the stuff they stole from the Louds. Including the van.

"Nina! Nick! They're getting away!" Lana shouts.

"And with our stuff too!" Lola adds.

"Come on! We've gotta go after them!"

But suddenly, they were both grabbed from the back of their clothes.

"Hold it right there you two," Luna halted. "You're not going anywhere!"

"But we're the ones who led them here in the first place!" Lana insisted. "We're the only ones who can catch them!"

"Well that is true," Lynn thought. "But there's just one little problem."

"What's that?"

"We can't trust you two anymore!"

"So we're putting both of you on probation!" Lori then took both of them inside.

* * *

The twins were back in their room, but this time, they were each tied up in a chair.

Since everyone else was out to catch the real crooks, Lincoln and Clyde (both of whom were wearing overcoats and fedoras) were the only ones that stayed behind to guard the twins.

Unsurprisingly, Lola was being the most stubborn and aggressive.

"Lincoln Loud! You let me go right now or else I'll pummel you!"

"Sorry Lols," Lincoln says sternly. "But I've been given direct orders _not_ to. And just to make sure you don't escape, I had Lisa put the entire house on lockdown and it will only deactivate if she gives me the password."

As a last resort, Lola tried to bite through the rope. Except…

"And don't even think about _chewing_ your way out. That rope is a hundred percent escape proof. Try to bite it and you'll break off all your teeth."

"Dang it. I've _really_ underestimated you, haven't I?"

"Come on Lincoln!" Lana begs. "You _have_ to let us go! Nina and Nick have to be stopped!"

"Sorry sis," Lincoln said. "We've still got another few hours. That'll give you plenty of time to reflect on the trouble you two caused."

"But we're the only ones they trust! We _have_ to go!"

Clyde then stepped forward. "Lola, I know a little something about the law. And rule number one is do _not_ let the bad guys go."

"So, what if we were _good_? _Then_ could you let us go?"

"Maybe, but I doubt there's any way you can prove that."

"You're gonna make me say it, aren't you? Because I'll say it. Here it is from the darkest part of my heart. I…..AM…...SORRY!"

Lincoln just shook his head. "Not buying it."

Lola began to sigh. "I can't blame you for doing this. _I'm_ the most to blame. I've terrorized this family countless times. I manipulated you guys to get what I want. I lied to my friends, blackmailed the pageant girls, and the only brother I have that's nice to me I treated like dirt."

Lana also was at fault. "Don't be so hard on yourself Lols. This mess we're in is _my_ fault too. Whatever scheme you came up with, I went along with it even though I _knew_ it was wrong. And I haven't exactly been the most tolerant to you either. Maybe I'm not the perfect twin you want me to be, but I can't let my big sisters, Lincoln, or even the city of Royal Woods pay for our wrongdoings."

"Me neither."

Both twins bowed their heads in shame. But then they felt their ropes getting looser. They turned around and saw both Lincoln and Clyde were untying them.

"Apologies accepted," Lincoln smiles.

"You mean, you're setting us free?" Lola asked.

"On one condition."

"Anything! Anything!"

* * *

After a few seconds, both the twins stood up straight and held one hand up.

"Do you both promised to uphold the law, bring criminals to justice and never do anything evil or bad again?" Lincoln asked.

"We promise!" The twins exclaimed.

"Then un behalf of the Clincoln McCloud detective agency, I now pronounce you Lola and Lana Loud, honorary deputies."

Lincoln handed them each a badge, which was actually a sugar cookie in the shape of a star.

Lana sniffs it and was about to eat it. That is until Clyde stopped her.

"Deputies are _not_ to eat their cookie badges."

Lana giggles nervously. "Sorry."

* * *

So down at the foot of the stairs, the kids began discussing their plan.

"Okay, so we're all working together to stop those crooks. What've you got?" Clyde asked the twins.

Lana started thinking. "Okay, in every detective Rick Tracker comic I've read, the thieves always return to their hideout. Which is usually a place where they've previously robbed."

Lincoln began to catch on. "So if we find out where they're hiding, we can catch them in the…" but then he paused after remembering something Lana mentioned. " _You_ read detective Rick Tracker?!"

Lana shrugs rather sheepishly. "Eh, you know. They're okay for what they are." Then she noticed Lola giving her a stern eye. "What? I'm six. I can't help it if I'm curious."

"Whatever?" Lola rolls her eyes. "But how exactly are we supposed to get to them? In case you haven't noticed, they took everything including the car!"

Then once they heard the sound of a whistle, they saw Lily standing in the doorway, twirling Lola's car keys on her finger.

Lana got the idea. "Everything except for one car."

Lola nodded in confidence. "Warm up the seats Lana!" She ordered. "We've got crooks to catch."

* * *

Meanwhile, the two crooks were still driving on the highway in the van filled with all the Louds stuff.

"Ha! We did it Nicky!" Said Nina. "We're desperados on the run!"

"Just think what we could do with all this loot!" Nick imagined. "Today Royal Woods! Tomorrow, the entire state of Michigan!"

" _Not so fast, you two!"_

The two looked in the rear view mirrors and saw the police cars and the Loud kids following them.

"Jeez!" Nina says. "It's the fuzz!"

"Stop the van!" Lincoln shouts from the car window.

"How's about you _make_ us, little Jack Frost?" Nina teased.

"If that's the way it's gonna be!"

"That's what you'll get!" Clyde said. "Why do they always wanna do it the hard way?"

"What do you expect?" Lincoln asked rhetorically. "That's partners in crime for you."

Just then, Lincoln's phone buzzes. He answered and Lisa's voice came out. _"Lincoln! Can you give me intel on what's happening?"_

"We're in the police cruiser in a high speed chase! The two hoodlums are dead ahead in the van! Lisa, we must find a way to stop these thugs!"

Meanwhile, Lisa was viewing the whole thing from her monitors. _"Yes, yes, yes. As long as all goes according to plan. In the meantime, can you catch up to the van?"_

"I'm afraid not. The vans going too fast. We need a way to slow it down."

 _"I figured that. Lana gave the engine an upgrade."_

"Dang her efficiency," Lincoln muttered.

 _"However, I anticipated this, so I made a few modifications for such an occasion."_

"You have?"

 _"Well, you know. I like to tinker in my spare time. That remote control in your back pocket are the controls to the van you can use to sabotage their getaway."_

Lincoln reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a remote with a bunch of buttons. "So that's what all these buttons are for?"

 _"That's right. Unfortunately I haven't had any time to label them."_

"Dang it."

 _"But if you do exactly what I say, everything should work out fine….. I think."_

"For our sake, I hope you're right."

Then everyone started making a sharp turn.

 _"Okay,"_ Lisa instructs. _"Now once you get up to speed, all you gotta do is press the green button. Or maybe it's the blue button."_

"Lisa! We're going to run out of fuel!" Lincoln warns. "Which button is it?"

 _"The blue button! Try the blue button!"_

Lincoln presses the blue button, but it ended up activating the van's windshield wipers. "That's the wipers!"

 _"The green button! Hit the green one!"_

Lincoln presses the green button, but it made the car horn honk like crazy.

Even the thieves were confused.

"What's the matter with this dumb car of theirs?" Nina questioned.

"It must be special features," Nick suggested.

Nina just gave him a deadpanned look.

Back with the Louds, they were still chasing the van, but not only was it too far ahead, but they were now on the side of a steep hill. Close to the edge I might add.

"WE ARE GOING TO DIE!" Lincoln shouts.

 _"Stop yelling at me!"_ Lisa demands. _"No yelling! Yell…...yell….."_ then she remembers what button it was. _"YELLOW!"_

Finally, Lincoln presses the yellow button. And it resulted in one of the van's tires being blown up.

"Lisa, were those….?"

 _"Affirmative,"_ Lisa confirms. _"My patented self-inflating/deflating tires."_

Lincoln was impressed. "Wow! Nice touch. So _this_ is what you do in your spare time."

 _"Well, not all of it. I also dabble in biochemistry, nuclear medicine….you know. This and that."_

"I see."

Both Nina and Nick were so shocked at the sight of a blown tire that the van started spiraling out of control until it finally reached the edge of the road, where it started dangling against the rail.

Both thieves opened the side door and attempted to escape.

"What do we do now?" Nick asked.

"We? We!? You're asking me?!" Nina questioned. "We're about to be taken to the slammer at any moment! There's nothing we can do!"

Well a car was indeed approaching, but this vehicle was not a police cruiser, but instead a pink little princess car. And who else should be riding it but the Loud twins Lola and Lana.

"Nina! Nick! Hop in!" Lola orders.

"What are you two doing here?" Nina wonders.

"No time to explain!" Lana said. "Hop in our car if you want to hide."

The thieving twins were pretty skeptical.

"I don't know, Nina," said Nick. "What do you think?"

"It's them or us, Nick," said Nina. "What other choice do we have?"

"You might wanna hurry up before the popo gets here," Lana warned.

Nick shrugs. "Good enough for me."

The two then hopped into Lola's car and the four drove off.

Eventually, the cops caught up with the van and the Loud kids all came out.

"Great!" Lynn groaned. "We lost those little tykes!"

"We didn't lose them Lynn," Leni assures. "They just drove off with Lola and Lana."

This infuriated Lori. "Oh! Those little twerps are so in for it."

While the twins were driving, they discussed the whole situation.

"Thanks for the save," Nick praises.

"What can I say?" Lola shrugs. "Friends stick together like glue."

"So where are we headed?" Nina asked. "We need a place to hide."

"Oh trust me," Lana said with a sinister grin (yeah, Lola's not the only twin who can pull that off). "I know just the place."

* * *

Finally, the crew all reached the old abandoned shack that Lola and Lana first met Nina and Nick at from the beginning.

Once they arrived, they all hopped out of the car and headed in.

"Oh, smart thinking, Overalls," Nina says. "No one will ever find this place."

"Not bad," Lola admires. "You made one teensy mistake though."

"Yeah? What's that?" Nina asked.

"Thinking you could turn us from good to bad!"

Both twins held up their deputy badges as Lana shut the door.

"You're busted!"

"Why you dirty double crossers!" Nina scolds. "Amscray Nick!"

Both Nina and Nick spotted a nearby window and attempted to make a break for it.

"Not on our watch, you clods!" Lola orders. "Lana, if you would?"

"With pleasure. Or should I say 'yee-haw!'" Lana took out her lasso and hogtied the two troublemakers.

It was, of course, a success.

"You've still got it sis," Lola praises her talent.

"I know," Lana bragged.

"Curses! Foiled again!" Nina growls. "And we would have gotten away with it if it weren't for…."

"Us meddling kids," Lana finished. "Yeah, yeah, we know. We've heard it all before."

It wasn't long before the police had arrived.

Officer Schoffner came out of the car with a megaphone. "Alright, You felons! This is the police! I order you to come out with your hands up!"

As luck would have it, two recognizable twins did come out with their arms up.

"Hey!" Lynn pointed. "It's only Lola and Lana!"

Officer Schoffner sighs with grief. "Just when I thought you Louds couldn't get into anymore trouble."

"I cant believe you two deliberately disobeyed me again!" Lori scolds. "When we get home, you are so….."

She then got interrupted by Lincoln and Clyde.

"Hold your horses, big sis," Lincoln says. "These two aren't the real thieves."

Then he bursted the door open and revealed both Nina and Nick all tied up in Lana's lasso.

" _These_ are."

"And all according to plan," Clyde adds.

Officer Schoffner was both surprised and confused. "Would you boys mind telling me what's going on here?"

"Well you see Officer," Lincoln explains. "We knew the thieves would only put their trust in Lola and Lana. So we had the twins lead us to their hideout and trap them in here until we arrived."

Even Lynn was surprised by this. "Huh, guess it _is_ a good thing he reads too many comics."

"Wow!" Luna said impressed. "Nice plan little bro."

"Thanks. But you should really thank the twins. After all, it was their idea."

"Oh it was, was it?"

Lori and the rest of the older girls turned to the two identical sisters, both of which looked sheepishly.

"Lori, I'm sorry we disobeyed your orders," Lola apologized.

"I'm sorry too," Lana lamented. "We know what we did was wrong. But we had to be ungrounded so we could catch the bad guys."

"So are we good?"

Lori gave it a little thought. "Well I don't like the fact you disobeyed me and went on a crime spree. But I appreciate that you were trying to do the right thing, and you did get the bad guys. So…..yeah. We're cool. For now."

Then after giving a group hug, both Lola and Lana turned towards their brother and turned in their deputy badges.

"Here Lincoln," Lana said. "You can have these back. We don't deserve to be deputies anymore."

But to their surprise, Lincoln rejects the return. "No guys. You earned them."

"I don't understand," Lola says confused like.

Lincoln kneeled towards his sisters. "Lola, Lana, part of being a good person is admitting your mistakes and trying to make up for them. You both redeemed yourselves today by catching the real criminals, and for that, I'm proud of you."

Then the two gave Lincoln a hug in return.

"However, that doesn't change the fact that you both caused a lot of mayhem around town," Officer Schoffner exclaims.

Lola rolls her eyes. "Why do I feel like I should have foreseen this?"

* * *

So in the end, Lola and Lana were both stuck cleaning up the damage they had done. Including removing the toilet paper from the neighbors houses, returning all the stolen items, including their dad's secret recipe.

"I honestly didn't expect having to clean up all this mess," Lola groaned. "Did you Lans?"

"No, I have to admit, I didn't," Lana replies. "But I think I'd rather be me than be a criminal any day. We might not get to do everything we want, but at least we have families that treat us right."

"Eh, that's better than nothing. I guess. Though I can't help but feel a little sorry for Nina and Nick."

"Well at least we won't have to worry about them too much, Lols. They'll be out in about 4-6 years or at least until some loving family decides to adopt them and raise them right. Whichever comes first."

"I guess it really is true what they say. Crime doesn't pay."

* * *

 **Now just to let you all know, I'm not exactly good at creating original characters (or in this case, OCs as they're referred to), but I tried to do the best I could. It's not much, but it's something.**

 **As for detective Rick Tracker, well…... I just made up whatever name I thought sounded similar to detective Dick Tracy just for fun. Again, I'm not the best at making up names, but I try.**

 **Anyway, as always, stay tuned.**

 **And a happy new year to all of you**


	92. Silently Loud

**And now here's a new story.**

 **Now before we begin, I just wanna say that I've been going through a bit of a dry spell with these stories. It's not exactly easy to come up with new stories on my own. However, one of my goals for this year was to get this fanfiction finished by the end of the year, so at least I'm trying.**

 **So at first, I wasn't sure what to do about these next stories, but then I remembered the _Summer Camp Island_ episode ' _Radio Silence_ ' and wondered if I could do a story similar to that episode. That and also after hearing that Lincoln's voice actor Tex Hammond is being replaced (yeah, Lincoln's had quite a number of voice actors during these past few years), I thought it might be fun.**

 **So I hope you enjoy what I have in store**

 **Here we go**

* * *

Inside the Loud house, the main sister that really puts the 'Loud' in the Loud House was busy practicing her guitar riff. In the same room, her brother was watching the whole thing.

After the music was finished, he applauded. "Woo-hoo! That was great Luna!"

"Thanks bro," Luna bowed. "But I'm just not sure if it's enough."

"Are you kidding? That was fantastic! Everyone's going to be jumping out of their chairs."

Luna went red in the face. "Nah, you're just saying that."

"No, really! It's great for what it is! Which is more than great. But why are you so worked up?"

"Me and Sam have a gig coming up in a few days and it's a pretty big deal. That's why this has to be perfect. Plus one of our backup singers is away for a week at a family reunion. So we have to also find a temporary replacement."

"I'm sure you'll figure it out Luna."

"You think so?"

"I know so. After all, you girls never let anything get you down before."

"That's true. Well I better get this stuff out to the garage. Maybe I can find better luck there."

"I can help!"

"You sure bro? I'm not gonna lie, it's kinda much."

"Luna, if it involves helping my sisters, nothing is too much."

"Well if you say so."

So both siblings went down the stairs helping each other with the equipment. Luna was carrying her bass amp, while Lincoln handled the guitar and sheet music.

"Wow!" Lincoln exclaims. "You weren't kinda when you said you had a lot of stuff."

"Told ya bro," Luna said. "But be very careful with that sheet music. It took me months to write that and I'm all out of paper."

"Don't worry Luna. I'll be careful. In fact…." Then Lincoln dropped everything and came up with a new idea. He decided to carry the guitar in his arms and the sheet music in his teeth.

Luna shook her head and smiled. "You are just full of surprises."

Once they headed outside, they noticed the wind.

"Huh, kinda breezy today," Luna noticed. Try not to let go of that sheet music."

"Don't worry. I got it." But right as Lincoln talks, the music fell out of his mouth and onto the ground. "Oops. I'll get it."

But as soon as he tried to reach for it, the wind picked it up and blew it away, right into the street.

"Well it could be worse," Lincoln chuckles.

Just then, a huge load of traffic ran over the paper, reducing it to nothing but shreds.

Lincoln smiles nervously as Luna gave him a glare.

* * *

Afterwards, Luna storms back into her room while Lincoln followed trying desperately to apologize.

"Luna! Come on! You know I didn't mean to do it!"

But Luna was too upset to listen. "It's not totally your fault bro. I know you said it was an accident…. but I did tell you to be careful!"

"I'm sorry! I promise, I'll make it up to you! Maybe I could…"

"No! Stop talking! Please Lincoln. I don't need you to fix it. I just need some time for myself."

"But….."

"No buts! Just leave! I don't wanna hear another word!"

At this point, Lincoln was heartbroken.

* * *

Lincoln was then downstairs just flipping through the channels.

"Hi Lincoln."

Then all of a sudden, his younger spooky sister popped up as she usually does. Yet this time, he didn't flinch. "Oh, hey Lucy."

"You feeling okay?"

"Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well for one thing, you usually jump in surprise whenever I show up."

"Oh…. yeah."

Lucy then took a seat on the couch next to her brother. "Lincoln, this might sound strange coming from me, but is something troubling you?"

"No. I'm fine."

Despite the fact that Lincoln tried to hide his disappointment, it wasn't enough to get Lucy to believe him. "Big brother, I've got a sixth sense about these things. What's wrong?"

Lincoln sighs. "I accidentally ruined Luna's sheet music and now she hates me."

"And what makes you think that?"

"She didn't want to hear my apology and she told me to go away. She wouldn't let me speak. She hates me."

"Lincoln, sometimes we get mad at what you do, but that doesn't mean we hate you. No matter how many times we may say it. It's just our way of saying that we need a little space to be alone with our thoughts."

"I know she didn't mean it. But the fact that she would listen to me apologize still hurts my heart."

"Just give her time. Eventually, she'll forgive you. She just needs it to be quiet for now."

"Well that's going to be hard since our family is anything but quiet. And I can't exactly stop myself from talking. Unless…" at that moment, Lincoln perked up once he got an idea. "Lucy, do you think you can cast a spell on me?"

"Sure, but why would you want….." then Lucy knew what her brother was getting at. "Wait a minute! No! Don't say it!"

"I need you to remove my voice so I can give Luna enough time to cool off."

"I knew you were going to say that, and the answer is no."

"What?! Why not?"

"Well for one thing, how would you be able to talk?"

"Oh please, I'm perfectly capable of handling things by myself. It's not like I'll need to talk if I need something."

"The answer is still no."

"Oh come on Lucy, please? It'll just be for a little while and I'll never ask you for anything like this again. Just this one little favor? For your brother?"

Lucy didn't want to cast spells on her siblings without their consent (especially after the last time), but what she hated even more was seeing any of them beg. So she had no other choice. "Sigh, you poor unfortunate soul. Alright, I'll do it. But only because I hate seeing you desperate."

So the duo went up to Lucy's room where she got out her spell book.

"Here it is," she reads. " _Vocalus_ _Removicus_."

Lincoln rolls his eyes. "Man, these spell names are getting more and more cliched."

Lucy continues to read. "Once casted, the voice of the victim shall be extracted."

"So this will make it so I won't be able to talk out loud?"

"Yes, but you can have it back at any time. Now do you have any last words before we begin?"

"Just a question: is this going to be painful."

"I suppose my wrist might start to hurt after a while, but all you'll really feel is a little pinch on the tongue for a second."

"I guess I can live with that."

"Okay then."

Lucy then put on her special hat and got up on her bed with her legs crossed. Lincoln then sat on the bed across from her in the same position. She then placed a little glass bottle right in the middle of them.

"What's that for?" Lincoln asked.

"You'll see." Lucy then read the rhyme from the book. " _With the vocal spirits under my control, remove this voice from my brother's soul."_

Then all the lights when dim and something in Lincoln's throat started to glow. When he opened his mouth, a strange orange mist came out of it and went straight into the little glass bottle. After the lights came back on, Lucy places a cork in the bottle and handed it to her brother.

"There we go. This bottle contains your voice. If you ever want it back, all you have to do is drink it and your voice will be restored."

Lincoln tried to say he understood. But when he opened his mouth, there wasn't a sound. So as a way of saying thank you, he just shook her hand and ran out.

* * *

Downstairs in the living room, Lincoln decided to just watch TV to keep his mind off things.

Just then, Lola came into the scene. "Hi, Linky."

Her brother didn't answer.

"I said 'hi Linky'!"

Still no response.

Of course, Lola took that as a complete offense. "Oh I see. Not talking, Eh? Giving me the silent treatment, Eh? Well guess what! Two can play this game!"

So Lola crosses her arms and pouts on the couch just as her twin sister Lana stepped in.

"Hi Lincoln. Hey Lola. Whatcha up to?"

"Sshhhhh!" Lola hushed. "Lana! You're ruining the trap!" She then whispered into her ear. "I'm trying to give Lincoln the silent treatment. He seems pretty angry with me."

"What makes you think that?" Lana asked.

"He wouldn't talk to me. And all I said was 'hello'."

"Let me try." Lana then took a seat on the couch to speak with her brother. "Lincoln, are you angry about something?"

Lincoln shook his head.

"Then how come you're not talking?"

Then Lola stepped in. "So let me get this straight: he's not mad at me, but he still won't talk to me?"

Lincoln pointed to his mouth, and then spread his hands across as if he was saying 'no'.

"Wait! Are you trying to say that you can't talk?" Lana guesses.

Lincoln nodded.

"Why?"

Lincoln wanted to explain to the twins what was going on, but how to tell them that without talking was proven to be difficult. So as best as he could, he sat on the bed in a meditative pose.

"I don't get it?" Lola said. "What's he saying?"

Lana tried to guess. "Either he wants to take a medication class or he's trying to say that he asked Lucy to take away his voice so he can't speak."

Lincoln nods and held up a number two to explain that the second guess was correct.

"Wait! Is that it? Lucy removed your voice and now you can't talk?"

Her brother gave an on-the-nose gesture.

"Yes! I was right!"

Lola rolls her eyes. "Big deal."

"Well, as long as you're doing okay," Lana said.

Lincoln gave a nod and smiled.

Lola whispered to her twin. "I-way ink-thay e-way eed-nay o-tay ave-hay a-way eeting-may about-way is-they upstairs-way (Translation: I think we need to have a meeting about this upstairs)"

Lana tried speaking in the same code. "Right-way away-way Ola-lay? (Translation: right away Lola)" but of course, she got a little tongue tied. "Man, that's a hard language to remember."

Right as the twins had gone upstairs, Lincoln felt a little parched.

So he went right into the kitchen to get a drink, but it was proven to be difficult. While he was capable of getting his own beverage, the drink he wanted was in the front of the fridge, but the glasses were way up high in the cupboard and he was too short to reach.

But finally, help arrived when Leni stepped into the kitchen. At that moment, it looked like the perfect opportunity.

"Linky? What are you trying to tell me?"

Since Lincoln couldn't actually talk, it was quite difficult for him to say what he needed.

"Oh, are we playing charades? I love charades!"

Lincoln of course was annoyed by this, but decided to play along if it meant she could understand him.

"Okay. First word."

Lincoln reaches into the recycling bin and pulled out an empty can.

"Oh, that's a very nice can. Wait! Don't tell me! First word is 'can', right?"

Lincoln nods.

"Okay, what's the next word?"

Lincoln first pointed to his ear, then lifted one of his legs and pointed to his foot.

"You're foot? What about your foot? All I can see is your shoe."

Lincoln points to his ear again.

"Oh, it's a word that sounds like 'shoe'. Let's see, blue, true, two, glue, you….."

Lincoln nodded at the last one.

"Wait! Is it 'can you'?"

He nodded again.

"Okay, what's next?"

Lincoln then got down on his knees and clasped his hands as if he was begging.

"Are you trying to say 'please'?"

She got that one too.

"Sure, what's next?"

Lincoln then pointed to himself.

"You?"

He shook his head and pointed to himself again.

"Oh 'me'! So it's 'can you please get me….' something."

Finally, Lincoln pretended he was sipping out of a cup.

"Drink! That's it! 'Can you…...please get me…...a drink?' 'Can you please get me a drink?' I got it! Yay! That was fun! See you Linky!"

As Leni started to leave, Lincoln tried stopping her. He then pointed to both the open fridge and the high cupboard where the glasses were.

Leni realized what was going on. "Oh, you actually want me to get you a drink? Well why didn't you just say so?"

Lincoln slaps his forehead in annoyance.

* * *

Meanwhile, the five little sisters were talking amongst themselves.

"I'm telling you," Lucy explains. "This is getting more difficult by the minute. My instincts told me this was a bad idea. I should have trusted them."

"If only we had a messenger pigeon," Lana wonders. "Then we could just send messages to each other without having to talk."

"Yes, but we don't have a pigeon Lana," Lisa states. "And even if we did, it would take us too long to train it."

"And I don't think Walt would want to be our messenger," Lola says.

Lisa strokes her chin. "What we need is a way to communicate with our brother without using words."

"You mean like sign language?"

"Something like that."

"Lisa's right though," Lana said. "How is Lincoln supposed to help us when he can't even speak?"

"I don't know," Lola shrugs. "Maybe it won't be so bad. At least this way, he won't butt into our arguments like he did the last time."

"Hey! We promised we would never bring that up again!"

"Well excuse me!"

Then Lisa separates the twins before another argument would start. "Alright, you two! Enough already!"

"Technically, Lincoln only wanted to stop talking until Luna stops being angry," explained Lucy.

Lana scratched the side of her head. "Well that stinks. Usually it takes Luna three to four days to stop being angry."

"Lincoln accidentally destroyed her sheet music."

Everyone shivers in fear.

"Yeah, better make that a week," Lola claims. "Maybe even more."

"Regardless of however long it takes for Luna to forgive our brother, we still need a way to communicate with him," Lisa reminded. "I'm sure we can figure something out in due time."

"But in the meantime, it's best not to tell anyone I cast a spell on him," Lucy warns. "Nothing personal."

"Sure thing, Luce," Lana salutes.

So the twins headed downstairs figuring out what to do.

"Well this is definitely going to be difficult," Lana told Lola. "I mean, considering Lincoln can't say anything."

"I know. I'm starting to miss hearing his voice," Lola said. "But don't tell him I said that."

Then as they made their way to the couch, they noticed that one of their more comedic sisters was coming down as well.

"Hey Luan," Lana greeted. "What's going on?"

"I was going to get my props ready," she said. "But Luna said she needed the room to herself. She seemed pretty mad about something."

"Is it because Lincoln destroyed her sheet music?" Lola guessed.

"He did what?!"

"Nothing!"

Luan shrugs it off. "Well, I can't blame her. Music is pretty much her life. At least he's not causing any trouble."

"So, where is he now?" Lana asked.

"He's with Clyde. But since you two are here, I could sure use your help."

"With what?" Lola questions. "Dare I ask."

"I need some help with my props. I was making some pies for my pranks and I'm all out of ideas for ingredients. Do you have any suggestions?"

"Suggestions? I've got tons of them!" Lana claims. "Count me in."

"I'm sure I'll regret this later," Lola states. "But I'm in."

"Great! Follow me."

Luan lead the twins into the kitchen, where she showed them an empty pie tin.

"See what I mean? I have the crust all ready. All I need now is the filling. Something no one would ever expect to be in a pie."

"Well if you want unexpectation, why don't you try adding something new?" Lana suggests. "Like…..butter?"

"Butter! Thank you. Butter. That'll work just fine." Luan then spread the butter into the pie. "Not bad, but there's still something missing."

"Tea?" Lola suggests holding her teapot.

"Tea! Oh, I never thought of tea! Of course! Tea!"

"Maybe some sugar?" Lana requests.

"Sugar, two spoons! Thank you, yes." And she poured two spoons of sugar into it.

"And what's a pie without a little chocolate?" Asked Lola.

"Chocolate! Oh I forgot all about chocolate!" And she threw the chocolate bar into the pie.

Then Lana suggests….."Mustard?"

"Mustard, yes. Must….MUSTARD?! Don't let's be silly." And Luan tossed the mustard over her shoulder and traded it for a lemon. "Lemon, that's more like it."

As soon as all the ingredients were in, Luan places a pie crust on top.

"There, that should do it."

"And, just to be clear, this isn't another one of your stupid pranks on us, is it?" Lola asked worriedly.

"No, of course not." But Luan still had a sly smile. "I don't plan to use it on you guys….much."

"Say what?"

"Nothing."

Then Lana had a question. "Say, Luan? What would you do if you couldn't talk? Like if you somehow lost your voice?"

"Well if you really want to know, I can't imagine not having a voice to use. Because then I couldn't tell such funny jokes."

"And we're all grateful for that," Lola groaned.

"But let's say I couldn't. If I had to tell anyone something, I would work out a code. Such as using different signs and gestures for each word or phrase."

"I see."

"Speaking of non speaking, has anyone noticed why Lincoln has been so quiet lately? I mean I know Luna's upset with him, but he never talks less than this."

This got the twins worried. "Oh that…..well…..the thing is….."

Lola was then interrupted by her identical sister. "He's just….practicing his miming skills!"

They both gave an innocent smile.

Luan was skeptical at first, but fortunately, she bought it. "In that case, I'm impressed. He's really getting into character."

* * *

Later that day, Lola was busy admiring herself in a mirror when she heard a familiar cry.

"Lola! Come check this out!"

Lola marches into Lisa and Lily's room. "This better be good Lans!"

"Oh trust me. It is. See, here's the thing. Since Lincoln can't talk, Lily's worked out a code. Show her Lilster!"

Lily clapped her hands three times.

"Three claps means Lincoln needs you to come over."

Then Lily rubs her tummy with both hands.

"A belly rub means Lincoln wants something to eat."

Then she made a whistle sound.

"A whistle means that Lincoln wants something to drink."

Finally, Lily brushed her foot against the floor.

"And a kick to the floor means 'you can leave now'."

Lola shook her head in confusion. "You remember all that?"

"Mmm-Hmm."

Then the twins saw Lily hugging herself.

"Ok, what's that mean in the code," Lola asked.

"Oh that's not in the code," Lana explains. "Lily just wants her teddy bear."

"Figures."

Just then, Lincoln came back home and the twins came up to greet him.

"Hi Linky!" Lola welcomes. "Did you have a great time?"

Lincoln nods.

"Have you figured out a way to make Luna forgive you?" Lana asked.

Lincoln shook his head.

"Oh. Well, don't sweat it big brother. I'm sure she'll calm down eventually. But now that you're back, I have something for you."

Lana then handed Lincoln a paper.

"See, Lily and I worked out a code. That way, even if you can't use your voice, you can still talk to us. Wanna try it out?"

Lincoln looks over the list and decided to give this new code a try. So he made a few poses: a tummy rub, a whistle, running in place, a shiver, a rabbit hop and finally a superhero pose.

But Lola still had a hard time remembering the codes. "Lana, translation please."

"He said he wants us to bring him a snack and a lemonade, then go up to his room and bring down a blanket, Bun-Bun and a stack of Ace Savvy comics."

Lincoln nodded saying she was right.

* * *

So all throughout that day, Lincoln tried out the code, and it turned out to be a success. The girls were able to understand what Lincoln was saying (or in this case, not saying).

"I must say Lana," Lisa admires. "Your new system works perfectly."

"I know, right?"

"This has been interesting," Lucy said. "But, I think it might be time to get your voice back, big brother."

Lincoln thought about it, and nodded, seeing as how he started to miss talking out loud.

"You mean, you're gonna get your voice back?" Lana asked.

Lincoln nods again, which made everyone cheer.

"Alright!"

"A wise decision," Lisa compliments.

"Way to go dude!" Lola says. But then realized she sounded like Luna for a minute. "Did I really just say that?"

So Lincoln and the five little girls made their way into Lucy's room where they found a glass bottle with Lincoln's voice in it.

"I kept it safe for you while you were out today," Lucy said.

"I'll go get it!" Lana quickly ran in to grab the bottle.

"Lana! Be careful with that! It's very fragile!"

"Don't worry. Careful is my middle name. That's why they call me Lana Careful Loud."

But just as Lana spread out her arms, she found that the bottle that was once in her right hand was now gone. Then all the kids looked out the window and saw the bottle roll down the roof and break on the ground. Once it was shattered, the orange mist came out and faded away. Afterwards, Lana gave an uneasy look.

"Maybe you should change your name to Lana I'm-so-clumsy-I-don't-know-what-I'm-doing Loud," Lola teases.

"That was the only way Lincoln could get his voice back," Lucy sighs.

Lisa adjusted her glasses. "And it looks like he won't be getting it back anytime soon."

Lincoln slaps his forehead as a way of saying….well you know.

"Lincoln! I'm so sorry! It was an accident!"

But despite Lana trying to apologize, Lincoln just gave her an angry face. With that, he made his way towards the door.

"Come on, Lincoln! I'll make it up to you! I promise! Just please…."

SLAM!

"...forgive me."

But it was too late. Lincoln was furious enough as it is. This, of course, made the young handy woman downright downhearted.

"Well that could have gone worse," Lisa said.

"Could have gone a lot better too," Lucy sighs.

Lana hung her head in shame. "Linky won't even talk to me even if he does have his voice. I'll bet he won't even want me to be his sister anymore."

"Okay, since when do you call him 'Linky'?" Lola wondered.

"What? You think you and Leni are the only ones who can give him a nickname?"

"Well, just the same," Lisa explains. "Even if our brother does seem a bit ill tempered at the moment, he could never truly disown you."

"Maybe," Lana lamented. "But what am I going to do? How do I get Lincoln to stop being mad at me?"

"Well if you want my advice," Lola answered. "Just leave him alone for a while."

"Lola's right for once," Lucy suggests. "Usually when we Louds are mad, we need time to be alone with our thoughts until we calm down. As if we're money being stashed away in a vault."

"Vault? Vault! That's it!" Lana had an idea. "Lisa, do you think there's a spare voice in that secret vault?"

"I suppose I found some next to the sounds in bottles," Lisa answers. "But I don't see what…."

But again, it was too late. Lana had already dashed out the door.

"I should have foreseen this," Lisa said shaking her head.

"You and me both," sighs Lucy.

* * *

So Lana headed down into the basement where the secret vault was.

Once inside, she began her search.

"I've gotta find the right voice for Lincoln. But which one?"

Then she spotted a shelf with multiple bottles and sounds.

She took a violet bottle and read the label. "Let's see. 'Announcer voice'? Nah, it's loud enough in the house as it is."

So she put it back and grabbed another one. "'Senior citizen'. Hmmm….might match his hair, but not his age."

Then went towards another one. "'Sounds of the jungle'. Tempting….. but no."

And she put that one back. "Come on! There's gotta be something!"

Then she suddenly spotted a bottle that looked just right.

"'New and improved: for 6-11 year old boys'? That's it! It's perfect!"

So Lana took the bottle and ran out the door. But upon approaching the stairs, she was still a little hesitant.

"But what if Lincoln's still upset and doesn't want to listen to me?" She asked herself.

Even with those negative thoughts in mind, she knew what had to be done.

"No! It's now or never."

So she marched right up to her brother's room and knocked on the door.

Upon opening the door, Lincoln didn't look too pleased with who he saw.

"Lincoln, I know you're mad at me. But I've got something to say, so hear me out."

Finally, the sole Loud brother decided to listen. So Lana took a deep breath and confessed.

"Lincoln, I'm really sorry I lost your voice. I know you probably hate me for it, but I found you a new one." Lana held out a bottle right in front of her. "It might not be the same as your old voice, but hopefully it's enough to prove to you how sorry I am. You don't have to say anything. You can just have it."

After she gave the bottle to her brother, she turned away and started heading to her room.

But then she felt a small hand touching her shoulder. When she turned around, she saw her brother was smiling.

"Wait! Does this mean you forgive me?"

Lincoln nods.

"You do!?"

Lincoln nodded again.

This, of course, made Lana so happy that she leaped into her brother's arms and embraced him with a hug.

"Aw thanks Lincoln! I knew you couldn't stay mad at me! So are you gonna try out the new voice?"

Lincoln shook his head.

"No? Why not?"

Her brother tried to explain to his sister that he had a plan to get Luna to stop being mad at him the way Lana tried to get Lincoln to stop being mad at her. Although he couldn't actually say it, Lana got the gist.

"You have an idea to make Luna forgive you?"

Lincoln then pointed towards his sister.

"And you want me and the others to help?"

Lincoln nods.

"Great! What do you need us to do?"

Lincoln allowed Lana into his room to show her his plan.

* * *

Meanwhile, Luna was still in her room working on a new music piece. But it was easier said than done.

"Ugh! Bogus!"

So she crumpled up the paper and tossed it over her shoulder.

Then she began feeling regret over how she treated her brother.

"Maybe I was a little hard on him. I mean, he might not be the most perfect brother, but he's certainly the perfect brother to me."

Just then, an envelope slid under the door. Luna picked it up and read it.

"'Come downstairs'."

And so she did.

Once she was in the living room, the twins lead her to her seat. So she took a seat on the couch and saw in front of her, a stage.

When the curtain opened, there was Lincoln in front of a hand painted background while the younger girls played music to fit the mood.

Lincoln was doing an interpretive dance while Lucy narrated the story in the form of a poem.

" _We tell you the story of a young boy named Link._

 _Who got into trouble. Well, more than you think._

 _It all started this morning when he wanted to play,_

 _With his big sister, who was quite busy today._

 _She was perfecting her music for an upcoming gig._

 _A gig, which she knew was going to be big._

 _But just as her brother came to assist,_

 _The day went well smoothly, but ended with a twist._

 _Forced to leave, the young boy filled with remorse,_

 _Lincoln had a plan, but to make matters worse,_

 _A young spooky girl who lived in that house_

 _Had removed his voice, making him quieter than a mouse._

 _While he tried hard to talk, nothing had done the trick,_

 _So it was up to a young tomboy to do something quick._

 _She came up with a code, and it was such a success._

 _But the lone boy in the house got caught in a much bigger mess._

 _The young tomboy lost his voice and what's more,_

 _The now voiceless soul felt more sore than before._

 _But the handy woman tried to fix her mistake_

 _By finding a new voice that was free to take_

 _But before he could speak, he had one more thing to do_

 _To perform this story that I just told you."_

As soon as the show was over, Luna began laughing, which got some of the little siblings offended.

"Well you could at least try to be sympathetic!" Lola accused.

"No dudes. I'm laughing because that was beautiful." Luna stopped laughing and placed her hand on her brother's shoulder. "You didn't have to go through all that trouble Lincoln, but I appreciate what you were trying to do to fix your mistake. And that shows me what a great little brother you are."

Lincoln smiles. "Thanks Luna."

Then everyone gasped when they finally heard Lincoln talk.

"What?"

"It's just….your voice!" Lola points out. "It sounds even younger than it was before!"

Lincoln realized that Lola was right. The new voice he got had indeed felt new and fresh. "Hey, you're right! It does! Looks like I could get used to this."

"So is this going to be your new voice from now on?" Luna asked.

"I guess so," he shrugs.

"Well I'm that case, I think our band has found a new backup singer."

"Thanks. And if you want, maybe I can help you write a new song for your gig."

"I'd like that, Lincoln." Then Luna took her brother by the hand and lead him upstairs.

"If I were to make a list of the top 10 most heartwarming moments, this would definitely be at number one," Lisa said adjusting her glasses.

"Yeah," Lana agrees. "Can I have my voice changed next?"

But everyone shouts "NO!"

"Hey, can't blame a girl for asking." Lana winked to the camera.

* * *

 **Hope you all liked that story**

 **Speaking of which, remember what I said about this story being inspired by an episode of _Summer Camp Island_? Well as it turns out, Lincoln's new voice actor, Asher Bishop, also happens to be the new voice for Oscar in that show. Just a little bit of trivia for you.**

 **Also, I was originally going to have Lisa be the one to remove Lincoln's voice, but then I realized that's been done way too much in my previous chapters, so I changed it to Lucy to make it more interesting. That and ever since the episode A Grave Mistake, I wanted Lucy to have another bonding moment with her brother.**

 **On a side note, yes I also gave the spotlight to both Lana and Luna because considering how the next upcoming _Loud House_ episodes each have them as the main stars, I might as well get people hyped for it.**

 **Anyway, stay tuned for more.**


	93. A Not-So-Lonely Valentine

**And now here's a little Valentine's Day story**

 **Loosely inspired by the _Chowder_ episode _Chowder's_ _Girlfriend._**

* * *

It was a beautiful morning in the Loud house, but not just any beautiful morning, but a morning that could put anyone in an upbeat mood.

Even the young princess herself, Lola Loud woke up feeling cheerful.

"A beautiful morning to everyone!"

But her twin on the other hand was still snoring like a bear.

"Wake up Lana! It's the morning!"

"Lola, can't I sleep just a little more?" Lana groggily requested. "I'm exhausted."

"How can you be exhausted on the day before Valentine's Day?"

"Few simple words: too many repairs, too little time." Lana continues to lie on her bed, until she remembered what day it is. "The day before Valentine's Day? That changes everything!"

"I knew you couldn't bear to sleep through it."

The first room she ran into was the oldest sisters' room.

"Lori! Wake up!"

Lori was still a little grouchy (as most people are when they get woken up too early). "Lola, it's too early to get up. It's hardly even light. Go back to sleep."

"Don't you know what day it is? It's the day before Valentine's Day!"

That's what got her up and at 'em. "Oh! Well that's different! Why didn't you tell me before? We've got so much to do!"

Then Leni was the next to wake up. "So much to do for what?"

"Valentine's Day."

"Valentine's Day?"

And soon all the other girls woke up immediately.

"VALENTINES DAY?!"

"O M Gosh!" Leni shouts. "I can't believe it's finally here!"

"I know dudes!" Luna agrees. "I gotta get in touch with Sam. We've got a song to plan."

"And I gotta get my balloons ready," Luan said.

"Oh I'm so excited!" Lana shrieked. "Me and Skippy got it made this year!"

"Same with me and Winston," said Lola. "Who wouldn't be hyped for tomorrow?"

Well, Lola was about to get her answer when the last person to wake up was their one and only brother.

"Hi Linky!" Lola greeted sweetly.

But surprisingly, Lincoln wasn't in the mood. "What are _you_ so happy about?"

"Don't you know what tomorrow is?"

"Friday?"

"It's Valentine's Day!"

"Ooooohhh, right. Well in that case, I'm not interested," Lincoln sighs.

"It's going to be so romantic and graceful and…" Lola paused at what her brother just said. "Wait, what?"

"I said I'm not interested."

This made the other girls gasp with horror.

Especially Lola. "How could you _not_ be interested in Valentine's Day?"

"That's just the problem. I don't have a Valentine."

"How could you _not_ have a Valentine?" Lynn asked.

"Yeah dude," Luna agreed. "You're the most loveable person we know."

"After me, of course," Lola bragged.

"You guys are just saying that," Lincoln moaned. "None of the girls at school see me that way."

"What about Christina?" Luan asked.

"Or Paige?" Lynn suggests.

"And don't forget Ronnie Anne," Lori teases.

Lincoln groaned. "How many times do I have to say it? Ronnie Anne is NOT my girlfriend!"

"Oh yeah?" Lola teases. "If she's not, then how come you keep a picture of her on your dresser?"

"That's for…...sentimental reasons. And who said you could mess around with my stuff?!"

"Hello? This is Lola Loud you're talking to. What do you expect?"

Lincoln rolls his eyes. "Anyway, it doesn't matter. I'll never find a girl who loves me."

" _We_ love you Linky," said Leni.

"Leni, you guys are my sisters. You're _supposed_ to love me. I mean someone _outside_ of my family. I bet no one's going to want to be my Valentine. Besides, the other kids will laugh at me."

"Aw, they're just jealous," Lynn assures. "They _wish_ they were as lovable as you."

"Well, just the same, I've already made up my mind. You girls can have all the fun you want, but for me, Valentine's Day is just another day."

"Well whether you care for it or not, you still need to get ready for school," Lori ordered.

"Alright already."

* * *

Of course, things weren't any better at school either, as Lincoln still maintained his bitter mood.

But little did he know, things were about to change that day.

And it all began when his teacher Mrs Johnson made an important announcement. "Everyone, I have an announcement to make. I'd like you all to meet a new student today, Ashlyn Miller."

The girl was about five feet tall with dark skin. She was wearing a blue sweater with an orange zigzag line in the middle, some long baggy pants and a pair of light brown boots. She also had short black hair with a little patch of white in it in the shape of a heart. She was very shy.

"I know it's not easy being a new student, so I hope you all make her feel right at home. Ashlyn, why don't you take your seat over there?"

"Okay."

So she did. And surprisingly enough, that seat was right next to Lincoln and his friends.

"Now class, since tomorrow is Valentine's Day, I would like you all to finish your projects for that special someone."

So they all began working, including Ashlyn. But then she also noticed something off. Somehow, one of the kids she was sitting next to wasn't as enthusiastic as everyone else.

And I think you can all guess who that person is, right?

* * *

After class, Lincoln and his friends, with the former leaning against the lockers.

"Aw don't sweat it, Link," Zach assures. "Lots of people never got a valentine in their life, and they turned out okay."

Lincoln was still depressed. "It's not _just_ not having a Valentine that bothers me. But it doesn't matter anyway. Tomorrow's just another day for me."

"Well even if you _don't_ have a valentine, at least you have us," stated Clyde. "And friends are better than nothing."

"I guess so."

Just then, the new student joined in. "Hello there."

"Oh, you must be Ashlyn. My name's Stella, and these are my friends, Clyde, Rusty, Zach, Liam and of course, Lincoln."

Ashlyn waves. "Hi. Nice to meet you all."

"Hey."

"Hello."

"Howdy."

"Hi."

But there was one who didn't say a word.

"Lincoln? Aren't you going to say hi?" Stella asked, nudging his shoulder.

"Oh yeah. Hi."

"Hi." Ashlyn smiles and kept on staring at the white haired boy.

Lincoln was a little confused and disturbed. "Why are you staring at me?"

"Oh no reason."

"Do I have something on my face?"

"You're cute." She giggled. Which made Lincoln blush. Then she took out a small paper bag and pulled out two heart shaped cookies. "You know, my dad packed two cookies in my lunch today. Here, you can have one."

Lincoln's mind was still weirded out, but he knew it would've been rude not to accept her offer. So he ended up taking the cookie. "Okay, thanks."

"You're welcome. Well, I gotta get going. It was nice talking with you." And she took off.

But once she did, Lincoln noticed his friends were staring at him very slyly. "What?"

"Lucky," moaned Rusty.

"You my friend are one heck of a ladies' man," Liam pointed.

"What makes you say that?"

"Well why else would other girls be interested in you?" Zach questions. "I mean Christina, Paige, Girl Jordan, Ronnie Anne."

"Okay, first of all, that relationship with Christina wasn't even a thing. And second, Ronnie Anne is _not_ my girlfriend!"

"I'm just saying," Zach urged. "You're one lucky guy."

"Just because she offered me a cookie? So what? I only took it because it would have been rude not to take it."

"Sure you did, Romeo," taunted Rusty.

Then Stella decided to step in. "Alright, lay-off the poor guy. I'm sure Ashlyn was just trying to be nice."

"Stella's right," Lincoln agrees. "Just because she's cute, polite and offered me a heart-shaped cookie doesn't mean she loves me."

"Well it doesn't mean she _doesn't_ love you either," Clyde states. "But on the other hand, at least you get a free cookie."

* * *

That night, Lincoln kept tossing and turning as thoughts started to swirl in his head.

"Oh it's no use. I just can't get to sleep. I don't get it. Why was Ashlyn being so nice to me? It's only been one day and already she offered me a cookie. Does she feel sorry for me or something?"

But it wasn't just that thought that bothered him.

"Or maybe she…...Nah! It couldn't be."

Or could it?

"Is it? Aaaahhh! What am I going to do? I'm not ready to be a boyfriend! I'm only eleven! And if she says she loves me, all the kids will tease me forever!"

Then he sulked on his bed.

"Why does everything have to be so hard for me?"

* * *

The next day was Valentine's Day, and the Loud kids were all getting ready.

Lori was texting Bobby (as usual), Leni was working on a new dress, Luna was busy writing a new love song, Lynn was practicing moves that could impress others, Lucy was revising her poems, Lana was making mud pies, and Lola was hanging streamers while Lisa was developing a new love pheromone.

And finally, Luan was making heart shaped balloons with Lincoln's help.

"Okay Lincoln, just needs a little more air."

So Lincoln pumped more air as Luan began bending the balloon.

"That's it. That's it. And voila! We have a heart. Now on to the next one."

But once Luan put the next balloon onto the air pump, Lincoln wasn't paying attention and ended up pumping more air than what was needed.

"That's enough, Lincoln! Lincoln!"

But Lincoln was too distracted to listen and the balloon was filled with so much air that it popped, surprising everyone.

"Okay, what's up with you Linky?" Lola asked. But she noticed he wasn't listening. "Linky!"

So she snapped her fingers in front of his face to get his attention. "What?! What happened!? What?!"

"You were spacing out again," Lana stated.

"You gotta stop doing that," said Lucy. "It's starting to get creepy. And I know 'creepy'."

"Is something wrong, Lincoln?" Leni asked.

"No, nothing's wrong," Lincoln answered. "I just had trouble sleeping, that's all."

While Lincoln didn't say why he had trouble sleeping, it wasn't a total lie.

"Perhaps you might wanna try aromatherapy," Lisa suggests. "It'll help ease your mind."

"I'll take that into consideration, Lisa," Lincoln said.

"Well, how about we take a break," Luan thought. "We can finish the balloons later."

So everyone left the room except for Lincoln. But Lori stayed behind.

"Lincoln, are you okay?" She asked. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're pretty distracted today."

Lincoln sighs. "Lori, you know a lot about relationships, don't you?"

"Does Bobby run a Mercado?"

"Yeah?"

"Then yes, yes I do. So what do you need to know?"

"Well let's say you happen to meet someone at school who wants you to be her…..boyfriend."

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Stop right there! She wants _you_ to be her boyfriend?! I knew it! So who is it? Is she cute?"

"She's kinda cute. But also a little weird."

"A little weird, huh? Well then, I guess you two would probably get along."

"Maybe. But the thing is I'm just not sure if I _want_ to go that path."

"You're saying you don't want….hold it!" That's when Lori got up in Lincoln's face. "You better not insult her in front of her classmates and make her cry like you did the last time!"

"What?! No way. Trust me. I've already learned my lesson from Ronnie Anne. I'm just glad we're friends now," he muttered. "I'm just not sure if she likes me….."

"Are you saying that she doesn't like you?"

"No, it's not that. Sometimes it's just hard to tell if a girl likes me for me or if she's just doing it out of sympathy."

"Well if you want my advice, a true soulmate will like you just for being you. If there's anything girls like in a guy, it's honesty."

"I know that's true. But hypothetically speaking, let's say I really like this girl (which I wouldn't go that far), but you feel like things are happening way too fast, but at the same time, you don't want to hurt that person's feelings. If it were you, what would you say?"

"Well if I didn't want to pursue a relationship, then I'd let the person in question know that I wasn't interested in dating at the moment, but I'd be mature and approach them in a calm manner."

"Approach her in a calm manner?"

"Yep. Speak from your heart and let her know how you really feel. See, they don't teach you this kind of stuff in school, but it can be pretty easy to break someone's heart. So be careful with what you say."

Lincoln nods. "Right."

* * *

Meanwhile, at a nearby house not too far away, Ashlyn was getting ready for school herself.

"Mom! I'm off to school!"

"Did you remember to pack those cookies?" Her mother asked.

Ashlyn groaned. "Yes mother."

But just as she was about to head out the door, someone came up from behind her. "Since when are you in such a hurry to get to school?"

This girl was about twice as tall as Ashlyn, but her hair was longer and wavy. She wore a scarlet blouse and brown shorts with white sneakers with orange stripes.

"No reason," Ashlyn defended. "It's just…...my second day and I don't want to start off my year with a demerit."

"Oh, and I suppose you're bringing the cookies just to get out of detention?"

"No! They're for a…...someone I just met."

"Oh really? So tell me, does this person happen to be a boy?"

"What makes you say that? Just because the other day I offered him a heart shaped cookie?"

"Aha! I knew it! I distinctly heard you say 'him'! Looks like my little Ashley's found herself a soulmate."

"Alright! So what if he's a boy? It doesn't mean I like him in the way you're thinking!"

"Then why are you bringing him all those cookies?"

"I'm just trying to be nice. It's tough being new to Royal Woods. I just thought he'd think I'm nice and be my friend."

"Friend Sis? Or _valentine_?"

"Can it, Catherine! I'm just trying to show a little compassion. Besides, nobody deserves to be alone on Valentine's Day."

"Well if you want my advice, if he gives you something to show his affection, just reward him with a kiss."

"Just to be clear, I _didn't_ want your advice. I'm going to school."

So she did.

* * *

At school, Lincoln was in his way to class still panicking in his mind.

"Okay, calm down Lincoln. No need to panic. Nothing will go wrong. Just let Ashlyn know you're not interested in dating. You can do this."

Once class started, Lincoln took his seat next to Ashlyn.

"Oh, hi Lincoln."

"Hi. Umm…...listen, Ashlyn, there's something I gotta say." But that's when something else caught his attention. "Hey, are those cookies?"

"Sure are. Made them just for you."

Lincoln then took one. "Thanks."

"No problem. That's what friends are for."

On his way to lunch, Lincoln was enjoying the cookie, when his friends took notice.

"Man you're luckier than one of my pa's golden horseshoes," said Liam.

Lincoln was exasperated. "Guys I told you, Ashlyn offering me a cookie doesn't mean anything."

"Lincoln, face it," Zach clarifies. "She gave you a heart shaped cookie on Valentine's Day. With pink frosting and sprinkles on it. Coincidence, I think _not_."

"Why is it you guys are still going on about this? Now I'm telling you for the last time, there's _nothing_ going on between Ashlyn and me!"

And Lincoln storms off to the lunchroom.

"Pfff…...Ashlyn and me? What a joke! It's not like she has feelings for me…..does she?"

In his mind, Lincoln knew he had no other choice but to tell Ashlyn the truth. But something else inside him said otherwise.

"Ugh! I can't tell her. She's too sweet. I need a way to get her off my back. But how?"

Well there was one way.

"I need more advice. And I think I know just the person."

Of course, who better to do it then one of his little sisters, Lana Loud?

* * *

Speaking of which, she was just getting her lunch tray over the table when Lincoln came rushing up.

"Lana! I need to talk to you!"

"Sure, bro. What's up?"

"Well, you'd say girls like animals, wouldn't you? You know, like to enjoy their company?"

"Well not everyone is a passionate animal lover like I am, but I should think so."

"Okay. Let's say I was thinking about getting a girl a pet as a present. What would you suggest?"

"Well I'm no expert, but I'd recommend something like a bird. Like a canary, a robin, and blue jay, or even a kookaburra."

"What about other animals?"

"Well Hops and Izzy do have a lot of cousins at the pet store, but I wouldn't recommend them. Trust me Lincoln, a lot of girls aren't as fond of amphibians and reptiles as me."

"You don't say," Lincoln said with a sly smile.

* * *

Back in the hallway, Lincoln approaches Ashlyn as she was putting stuff into her locker.

"Hi Ashlyn."

Ashlyn was startled at first. "Oh Lincoln! You scared me."

"Sorry. So….. I was thinking. Since you're new here, I have something for you." And Lincoln held out a box.

"Oh, you really didn't have to."

"Oh, don't be silly. Go ahead, open it."

So Ashlyn opened the box and out popped a green frog. It jumped out of the box and leaped onto Ashlyn's head.

"So what do you think?" Lincoln asked.

"What do I think? I think….."

Lincoln was waiting for an answer.

"It's….."

"Yeah?"

"It's perfect!"

Then Lincoln looked shocked.

"I've been looking for a frog like this forever! Now Jumper has a friend of her own." Ashlyn opened a locker revealing both a frog and a fishbowl. "And I'll call this one Thumper."

Lincoln was still surprised. "You like animals?"

"Are you kidding? I love them. In fact, I wanted to show the class my guppies. I call this one Gil, and the other one's Molly."

"Why do those names sound familiar to me?"

"Anyway, I gotta go. Thanks for the gift Lincoln. You're so thoughtful."

And there she went.

That's when Lana, Lucy and Lisa came into the scene.

"Wow! I guess a lot more girls are fond of frogs than I thought." Lana was both surprised and impressed. "Cool! You sure hit the nail on the head there Linc."

"I'll say you have," Lucy said.

"Indeed," Lisa agreed. "You are quite the, shall we say, charismatic charmer."

" _Oh, who am I kidding?"_ Lincoln thought in his head. " _They're right. It's like Lori said, she likes me just because I'm me."_ Then he got another idea. " _But what if I wasn't me?"_

With that, he went for a different approach.

* * *

In a different part of the school, Ashlyn was met with 'another' boy in a Russian outfit.

"Oh, hello again Lincoln," Ashlyn greeted.

"Um….hello there dear Ashlyn," 'Lincoln' said in a Russian accent. "I am Lincolnovich Loudinski, and I have a message for you from Lincoln Loud, who I am not."

Ashlyn played along. "Oh really?"

"Why yes. Lincoln has moved far away and can not attend class today."

"And just _where_ did he move to?"

"Oh…...uh…...way down south, to the next state….."

"Yes?"

"He's gone. Lincoln's gone."

"Want a cookie, Lincoln?"

"Would I?!" Lincoln took the cookie, but then realized that she said his name. "Dang it! How did you know it was me?"

"You _really_ didn't think you'd get away with that, did you?"

Lincoln shrugs.

"Here's a tip: next time, try choosing a name that _doesn't_ sound similar to yours." And she took off again.

"I should have known Lincolnovich Loudinski was too obvious," he muttered to himself.

* * *

Moments later, Lincoln was back in his original outfit when he heard a familiar voice.

"Playing hard to get, Eh? Boy, are you ever desperate."

Turns out that voice came from another one of Lincoln's sisters, who stood right next to his locker.

"Lola! How long have you been standing there?"

"Oh long enough. And I'm glad I have."

"And why the heck would that be?"

"So I can help you impress her. And lucky for you, I have the perfect plan."

"Lola, I really don't need….."

"Tut, tut, I insist. Now if you really want to impress a girl, what you gotta do is give a little razzle dazzle."

"But Lola, I'm only trying to…"

"Up, up, up, up. No use questioning my methods big brother. I'm a trained professional, so I know this by heart. By the time she sees this, she'll be begging for more."

"Lola, this is…."

"A totally awesome plan? I know. I should think so myself. Don't you know how lucky you are to have a sister like me?"

Lincoln rolls his eyes.

* * *

Outside at recess, there was a huge stage with a curtain and a giant heart on top made of wood.

All the kids huddled in front of it as Lola shouts into a megaphone. "Ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys, especially newcomers of Royal Woods elementary! What we have for you will not disappoint you one bit! Presenting our grand opening!"

Everyone clapped as the curtains opened, and out stepped Lincoln Loud.

Then Lola arrived on stage dressed up as Ashlyn. "Say your line!" She whispered.

"Oh! Hi there Ashlyn."

"Hello, Linky."

"There's something I've been wanting to say. Maestro, if you please?"

The morticians came in with the violins as Lincoln kneels down on one foot.

"I understand that you're new and it's your first day, but there's something important that I just have to say."

But then all of a sudden, dark clouds came rolling in and a huge thunderstorm raged. Lightning struck the wooden heart and lit it on fire, but luckily the rain came in to douse it out.

Soon all the kids rushed inside for shelter.

"I hope Ashlyn didn't see that!" Lincoln sulked.

"Speak for yourself," Lola points.

It turns out, Ashlyn was standing right next to him. She didn't have anything to say, but she gave him a kiss on the cheek and took off, making Lincoln go red as a fresh tomato.

"Okay, that didn't go as planned," Lola said holding her umbrella. "But hey, as long as it works."

Fortunately, Lola's plan did work, but unfortunately, not in the way Lincoln was hoping for.

* * *

Inside the hallway, Clyde was looking for his friend.

But all he found was one of his sisters. "Lana, have you seen Lincoln anywhere?"

"Oh yeah," she answered. "He's outside in a trash can. I don't know what his deal is, but he said he's not coming out."

"Did he look upset in anyway?"

Lana shrugs. "I just go to school here. I don't ask questions. Well, see ya."

And she left.

* * *

Outside, Clyde knocks on the trash can lid. "Okay, Oscar the Grouch. We need to talk."

But Lincoln refuses. "No! I'm never coming out again!"

"Come on Lincoln, you got nothing to worry about."

Lincoln pops his head out. "Nothing to worry about? Ashlyn still wants to be my girlfriend and I'm still not ready! Everyone will laugh at me! Just like they did the last time!"

"Oh it can't be that bad."

"She kissed me on the cheek."

"Okay, you might have a problem after all. Look buddy, based on what I've seen, this is a pretty big step."

"Well what am I supposed to do?"

"It looks like you're gonna have to get married."

"Married?!"

"Yeah. Apparently, if a girl kisses you, you have to make an honest woman out of her. Meaning you'll have to marry her. And if word gets out that this girl kissed you and you didn't marry her, her reputation will be ruined forever. Which is even _worse_ than having a broken heart."

Lincoln sulked. "I'm doomed."

"Can I be your best man at the wedding?"

"You're not helping, Clyde."

* * *

After school, Lincoln wasted no time getting home.

"Okay! Forget about panicking! Now I'm officially losing my mind!"

It wasn't long before the other sisters came into the living room.

"Woah! Lincoln, what's the rush?" Lana asked curiously.

"I just….Ashlyn gave me….married…...save….reputation…...immediately!"

"Okay Lincoln. Just calm down. Use your words." Lucy tried stoking his back smoothly hoping that would help him relax, which it did.

"Thanks Lucy."

"Now start over," Lola orders. "What exactly are you trying to say?"

Lincoln sighs with grief. "I'm gonna regret this. Guys, I need you to…..." However, Lincoln mumbled the last part.

"What was that?" Lynn asked. "Couldn't hear you."

"I said I need you to…." He mumbled again.

"I'm afraid we can't comprehend what you're requesting," said Lisa. "You need to speak up."

"I need you guys to…..*gulp*...help me prepare for a wedding!"

At that moment, all the girls paused and then squealed at the top of their lungs (including Lisa), which made Lincoln cover his ears.

"I just wish I had something to protect my eardrums from that."

Lola was the first to hug Lincoln tightly, as she was crying tears of joy. "Oh Linky! You don't know how long we've been waiting to hear you say those words!"

"I knew this day would come!" Luan said. "And now it has!"

"I'm proud of you little bro," Lynn praises. "I always knew you had it in you."

"Isn't Lincoln still too young to be getting married?" Lisa wonders. "Let alone date?"

"Aw Lisa, this is love we're talking about," Luna said. "It doesn't matter when it comes to love."

"Guys, I don't have time for this!" Lincoln interrupts. "You can praise me later, but right now, I'm kinda in a hurry."

"Right. Alright girls, we've got no time to waste!" Lori demands.

"I'll bake the cake!" Lola squealed.

"I'll go get the suit," said Lucy.

"I'll get my welding torch!" Lana said.

So as fast as they could, the girls got to work on preparing Lincoln for the big moment. Lana and Lisa were welding the wedding rings, Lola was preparing the wedding cake, and finally Lucy and Leni were getting the suit fitted for Lincoln.

"There we go Linky," Leni announces. "All done."

"And so are the rings," Lana said as she came in.

"And the cake," said Lola.

"Great! It's perfect! Now I gotta go!" Lincoln grabbed the stuff and ran right out the door.

"Wait! Where are you going?"

"No time to explain! I gotta get to Ashlyn and fast!"

And so he charged right over to her house on foot as the girls watched from the window.

"You know, he literally could have just _asked_ me to drive him over to her house," Lori clarifies.

"Yeah," Leni stated. "He's not really that bright, is he?"

* * *

Over at the Miller residence, Ashlyn was pondering to herself. "What's gotten into Lincoln today? I mean, he's sweet, but I'm just not sure all those gifts are really necessary."

Just then, the doorbell rang.

She opened the door and found Lincoln all in a mess. His hair all messed up and his suit all wrinkled. And most of all, the cake was nothing but mush.

He was also out of breath. "Okay….I'm here…...I'm ready…"

"What are you talking about, Loud?"

"I'm….saving your…...reputation. So….will you…..marry me?"

"Lincoln, even if I wanted to, I couldn't."

"What do you mean you couldn't?"

"Well for one thing, we're both eleven years old. And besides that, you're getting _way_ too clingy. You come around me like every five minutes. What's been going on with you today?"

Lincoln was nervous again. "You really want to know?"

"Yes I want to know. No more gifts. Just tell me the truth."

"Well Lori did say girls like a guy with honesty," Lincoln muttered. "Okay, here it goes. Ever since yesterday after you gave me that cookie, I wasn't sure if you really liked me. So I was trying to know for sure. My friends gave me the impression that maybe you wanted me as a boyfriend and well…. I got scared and panicked. Whenever I get a girlfriend, my classmates tease me and my sisters _never_ leave me alone."

Ashlyn got the gist. "Oh, is _that_ what this is about?"

Lincoln nods.

"Lincoln, what happened yesterday, I was just trying to cheer you up."

"Cheer me up?"

"I saw you looking depressed and I just wanted to make you happy. Not just by giving you a cookie, but by giving you a _friend_."

"Wait, so you _don't_ have a crush on me?"

"No way. That's for the _older_ kids. Sorry if I gave you the wrong idea."

At that moment, Lincoln felt relieved. But then his happiness was put to a halt when something inside him made him feel even more depressed.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know. I thought I'd be happy, but now I feel even worse than I did before. It's just like when Ronnie Anne moved away."

"Who's Ronnie Anne?" Ashlyn asked.

Lincoln paused for a bit and began to speak. "She was just some old friend of mine."

"Wait! You had _another_ friend who was a girl?"

"I've got a _few_ of them actually. But she was one of the _first_ I ever had."

Then Ashlyn kicked her foot to the ground. "You wanna come inside? We can talk about it."

And so they did.

* * *

After a while, Lincoln was wrapping up his conversation.

"You know it's pretty interesting. Some of the friends you have, they're fun to hang out with. Then the next thing you know…..they leave. They go out and do things you might never get to see. I mean, I think it's great she decided to stay with her family, but somehow it doesn't feel the same for me."

"So I guess it's one of those situations where you don't know what you have until it leaves you?" Ashlyn compared.

"Exactly. And it doesn't exactly help either when people try to hook me up with dates just to make me feel better. But what they don't understand is that I want someone who likes me for _me_. Not hang out with me just because they feel sorry for me."

"Well I don't feel sorry for you."

"You don't?"

"No. I was just trying to be nice. I've never really had a friend before. It felt like nobody even cared about me. When I saw you looking sad, I thought I could cheer you up and _we_ could be friends."

"So, you just wanted to be _friends_ with me?"

"Of course. _Just_ friends, and nothing more. Don't get me wrong Lincoln. You're cute and all, but I'm just not ready for a boyfriend."

"I understand. Since we're both being honest, I wasn't really looking for a girlfriend either. See, my sisters get all hyped whenever it's Valentine's Day, but I didn't really care for it. I wanted to tell you that I wasn't interested in dating anyone, but I also didn't want to break your heart."

"Well I think it was very brave of you to come forward and tell me the truth."

"Thanks. But I guess I'll just be spending another Valentine's Day…..all by myself."

Lincoln started to head out the door. But Ashlyn stopped him for a second.

"You really don't like being alone on Valentine's Day, do you?"

"Not really. What good is a holiday if there's no one else to enjoy it with? I just wanted to have at least one Valentine's Day where I didn't have to feel so lonely. I wouldn't ask for much. Just, you know, share an ice cream soda like they do on TV. But I guess that's never going to happen."

"Well if you want, I think I can accommodate you."

"Really? You wouldn't mind?"

"Sure, I mean it's not like we have to get _married_ or anything."

Lincoln chuckles at that. "Right."

* * *

So that night, the two new friends were out at the arcade splitting both a pizza and a small milkshake.

As they were enjoying their time, they were also talking and laughing about what happened that day.

"So, you really made those cookies yourself?" Lincoln asked.

"Yeah," Ashlyn bluffs. "Not to brag, but back in my hometown, I was a straight A student in my home economics class. My mom said that it makes a good first impression."

"So when you were giving me all those cookies, you were just trying to be nice?"

"Of course. I mean, who _doesn't_ like cookies?"

"And that kiss on the cheek?"

"It was actually my big sister's idea. She gets all excited whenever I mention boys."

"Oh believe me, with ten sisters, I go through the same thing. Sometimes I wish my life was a little more simpler."

"Well, you know Lincoln, if you want some _simple_ advice, how about you take a break from dating?"

"Take a break?"

"Sure. Forget about having a soulmate for now and just focus on what's best for you."

"Well…..as long as you're okay with it."

"I'm fine if you are."

Lincoln took some time to think. "You know what? You're right. I don't need to worry about that now. I've still got years ahead of me."

"You sure do." And the two gave each other a handshake. But there was still one thing left to do. "Hey Lincoln?"

"Yes?"

"I know we're friends now and the day's almost over, but I wanna give you something. Just so you don't have to feel alone anymore."

"What's that?"

"Come here."

Lincoln got out of his seat and made his way towards Ashlyn. "What is it you want to give me?"

"This." At that point, the girl grabbed him by the cheeks and pulled his face towards hers. She then pressed her lips against his, resulting in a kiss. A Valentine's Day kiss to be precise. "That's my Valentine's Day present for you." Afterwards, she gave him a hug. "And _that's_ for being a good friend."

Lincoln was amazed. "Wow. That's the greatest Valentine's Day gift anyone's ever given me."

"Don't mention it. Especially to everyone at school."

"I won't if you won't."

* * *

Later that night, Lincoln was in his room remembering the day he had. Then something inside of him began to feel weird. Almost as if a heavyweight had been lifted from his chest.

"That's strange. I feel different. Like I don't feel as lonely as I usually do."

Then it hit him.

"Wait! Was that all I needed? Maybe it was. Thanks Ashlyn, for everything."

Just then, he heard a knock at the door and found his sisters came in.

"Hey Lincoln," Lana greeted. "How was your Valentine's Day?"

"Was it fabulous?" Lola asked.

"Was it wicked?" Lucy wonders.

"Was it wonderful?" Leni questions.

Even with all the questions surrounding him, Lincoln had the perfect answer.

"It was….. the best."

* * *

 **Happy Valentine's Day everyone**


End file.
